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For Young Men Only: A Guy's Guide to the Alien Gender
Just for guys…the inside scoop on girls from the girls themselves.
Okay, the authors aren't girls. But to bring you the facts they surveyed more than 1,000 of them. Every teen guy wants to know how girls are wired, what they want, and how they really think…
Or at least how to talk to a girl without feeling like an idiot.
Here's your chance to find out.
Okay, the authors aren't girls. But to bring you the facts they surveyed more than 1,000 of them. Every teen guy wants to know how girls are wired, what they want, and how they really think…
Or at least how to talk to a girl without feeling like an idiot.
Here's your chance to find out.
192 pages, Hardcover
First published September 16, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
June 6, 2017
I did not like this book. I didn't see the purpose of it. While written by Christians, it seemed to be designed primarily as a guide for boys to attract girls, without focusing on the "why" or "what" of relationships. I also think if I read this as a teenager I would have been really discouraged by its message. I think its supposed to be encouraging, but it very much emphasizes doing everything the right way and having the right attitudes, making a relationship seem more like a puzzle to be solved than a relationship with another complicated human being.
April 8, 2017
Wow. Most of this was just so ... Me! In a few things I couldn't completely identify with the girls in the surveys, but I could see where they were coming from. It's written very frankly, but in this type of book I was grateful for that.
November 22, 2023
Had some good stuff but they ruined their credibility when it became apparent this book was written by bible thumping (be polite man!), uh never-mind. I now question their ability not to fudge the girls responses. I've also realized that the questions asked of girls made their answers predictably leading towards the answers they wanted. SAVE YOUSELF FOR MARRIAGE? I know for a fact this is BS! I've been around for 50 years and can definitely say a lot of this book is true, but it is used the way the truth can be used to tell a lie. This book is simply manipulative. I'd have a teen boy read this (the fist 70%), but the conclusions drawn? Just ideological trash.
My second thing is for the "I wish I knew then" people and is not a popular opinion. Speaking to my 15 year old self, I would say a few of the books big ideas, but I'd be more practical. There will never be (think models) or type of woman in general. The girls you see are all that is. Hit on them, there is no tomorrow. I'd also focus on how to tell when a girl likes you. Guys don't choose girls. Girls choose guys. You have to go out with the ones that like you!
3rd Marriage is for the uneducated and the people with nothing to lose. (i.e. = losers)
Get as much as you can. (SEX) And NEVER apologize for it, & NEVER marry. I still posses both halves of all my stuff. (Currently about 3 mil in real estate and stocks) Only 2 of all my friends are still married and have good marriages. I'd love to be married. I'd love to have a partner. But I live in the real world. Divorce is real and the authors pretend it is happily ever after. Marriage is a bad deal for all involved! My sisters husband (band teacher, musician, player) really did F__K the baby sitter, and then he married her and took half my sisters (attorney) stuff!
4th is my final conclusion. I wish I would have had more sex with looser women. I wish I had turned to "PROs" at about 25. Marriage is antiquated. This book is full of half truths.
My second thing is for the "I wish I knew then" people and is not a popular opinion. Speaking to my 15 year old self, I would say a few of the books big ideas, but I'd be more practical. There will never be (think models) or type of woman in general. The girls you see are all that is. Hit on them, there is no tomorrow. I'd also focus on how to tell when a girl likes you. Guys don't choose girls. Girls choose guys. You have to go out with the ones that like you!
3rd Marriage is for the uneducated and the people with nothing to lose. (i.e. = losers)
Get as much as you can. (SEX) And NEVER apologize for it, & NEVER marry. I still posses both halves of all my stuff. (Currently about 3 mil in real estate and stocks) Only 2 of all my friends are still married and have good marriages. I'd love to be married. I'd love to have a partner. But I live in the real world. Divorce is real and the authors pretend it is happily ever after. Marriage is a bad deal for all involved! My sisters husband (band teacher, musician, player) really did F__K the baby sitter, and then he married her and took half my sisters (attorney) stuff!
4th is my final conclusion. I wish I would have had more sex with looser women. I wish I had turned to "PROs" at about 25. Marriage is antiquated. This book is full of half truths.
January 19, 2011
For Young Men Only: A Guy's Guide to the Alien Gender is a book that purports to explain teenage girls to teenage boys. It explains how they think, what they want, and how to talk to them without looking like an idiot. This information is based on a nationwide survey of teenage girls with some helpful hints and tips given by the authors' wives.
The tone and reading level of this book makes it accessible to even the most immature teenage boy. There is some great practical advice here too. Big ideas like: listening is good, confidence is good, and being a Christian is good. There is nothing mind blowing here, though I do think the chapter on breaking up and on listening for her emotions are probably pretty ground breaking for most teenagers.
On the negative side, after reading about John List's work on altruism in Superfreakonomics, I'm very suspicious about self-reported data on personal preferences. There is just too much incentive to fudge the truth in order to make yourself look a little better. In addition, a lot of the wording of the questions appeared to be done in order to get the answers the surveyors wanted (esp. in the chapter about premarital sex). Of course, I am neither a girl nor a teenager, so I am kind of talking out of my rear ... but the methodological problem is still a valid objection. It would be interesting to have John List do some research on these same issues.
The tone and reading level of this book makes it accessible to even the most immature teenage boy. There is some great practical advice here too. Big ideas like: listening is good, confidence is good, and being a Christian is good. There is nothing mind blowing here, though I do think the chapter on breaking up and on listening for her emotions are probably pretty ground breaking for most teenagers.
On the negative side, after reading about John List's work on altruism in Superfreakonomics, I'm very suspicious about self-reported data on personal preferences. There is just too much incentive to fudge the truth in order to make yourself look a little better. In addition, a lot of the wording of the questions appeared to be done in order to get the answers the surveyors wanted (esp. in the chapter about premarital sex). Of course, I am neither a girl nor a teenager, so I am kind of talking out of my rear ... but the methodological problem is still a valid objection. It would be interesting to have John List do some research on these same issues.
November 1, 2008
Do you have an up and coming teenage boy in your life, who has no idea what women his age want and even his father is at a blank and you are in desperate need of guidance?! There is help and the answer lies in this book.
When I began to read FYMO, I could only nod my head at the wonderful insight these writers had. From everything to what a girl sees in a guy to the dreaded whether a girl wants to 'do it' is in this book and handled beautifully. Now, for even you older men, it can be an eye opener as well. My husband read it, mostly because I asked him, and even he couldn't believe some of the things her read. Even casting an eye to me and saying 'Is that Really how you all think?" and then"Wish this was out when I was younger."
I have a young boy who is all of two, but believe me, this will be waiting for him when he gets older. It will be a mandatory read before he begins dating and a reference when there are things he needs help understanding. If you are a young man and are in the dating scene or a mom with a son heading there, you NEED to read this book. And for all you others out there, the series has For Women Only, For Young women Only, and For Men Only. I am buying all of them to add to my shelf.
When I began to read FYMO, I could only nod my head at the wonderful insight these writers had. From everything to what a girl sees in a guy to the dreaded whether a girl wants to 'do it' is in this book and handled beautifully. Now, for even you older men, it can be an eye opener as well. My husband read it, mostly because I asked him, and even he couldn't believe some of the things her read. Even casting an eye to me and saying 'Is that Really how you all think?" and then"Wish this was out when I was younger."
I have a young boy who is all of two, but believe me, this will be waiting for him when he gets older. It will be a mandatory read before he begins dating and a reference when there are things he needs help understanding. If you are a young man and are in the dating scene or a mom with a son heading there, you NEED to read this book. And for all you others out there, the series has For Women Only, For Young women Only, and For Men Only. I am buying all of them to add to my shelf.
July 20, 2023
This was actually a fascinating book. This book focuses on how girls work and interact with guys, and how they view relationships. The humor was somewhat juvenile, but there was a ton of interesting and fascinating content. There were several points in this book where I was like “Shoot, they broke the code.” All in all, I’d highly recommend reading this.
November 3, 2021
Strange guide-of-sorts offers good advice, but is clouded by self-deprecating humor, trying to relate to teens by relying heavily on stereotypes of men and women, and an underlying darkness that can’t exactly be placed. I give it three stars for good advice, but it feels strange.
December 30, 2020
While I have questions about the honesty of some of the answers the girls gave, this is an excellent resource for young men in dealing and attempting to understand the female mind.
June 3, 2022
same review as the other one
March 31, 2026
"For Young Men Only" aims to demystify the female mind for teenage boys. The authors use survey data from over a thousand girls to provide insights into what girls think, want, and how guys can better understand them. The book is written in a casual, conversational tone, intending to make the complex topic of understanding the opposite gender more accessible and less intimidating.
Chapter-by-Chapter Breakdown
1. "What Girls Wish Guys Knew":
* Focus: Introduces the primary desires of girls in relationships, emphasizing emotional connection, respect, and understanding.
* Vital Things to Remember: Girls value emotional intimacy and communication more than grand gestures.
* Vital Things to Learn: How to actively listen and show genuine interest in a girl’s feelings and thoughts.
2. "The Top Ten Myths Guys Believe About Girls":
* Focus: Debunks common misconceptions that guys have about girls, such as the belief that girls are always trying to manipulate them or that physical appearance is everything.
* Vital Things to Remember: Many stereotypes about girls are inaccurate and harmful.
* Vital Things to Learn: To question preconceived notions and approach each girl as an individual.
3. "Why She Says One Thing But Means Another":
* Focus: Explores the differences in communication styles between guys and girls, explaining why girls may not always say what they mean directly.
* Vital Things to Remember: Girls often communicate indirectly to avoid conflict or protect feelings.
* Vital Things to Learn: To read between the lines and pay attention to non-verbal cues.
4. "The Secret Language of Girls":
* Focus: Teaches guys how to interpret the subtle signals and cues that girls use in communication, including body language and tone of voice.
* Vital Things to Remember: Communication is more than just words; non-verbal cues are crucial.
* Vital Things to Learn: To become more observant and attuned to non-verbal signals.
5. "What She Really Thinks About Your Body":
* Focus: Discusses how girls perceive guys' bodies and what aspects they find attractive, debunking the myth that only muscular physiques are appealing.
* Vital Things to Remember: Confidence, hygiene, and overall health are more important than physical perfection.
* Vital Things to Learn: To focus on self-care and presenting oneself in a positive and confident manner.
6. "How to Talk to Her (Without Sounding Like an Idiot)":
* Focus: Provides practical advice on initiating and maintaining conversations with girls, including topics to discuss and how to avoid common pitfalls.
* Vital Things to Remember: Be yourself, show genuine interest, and avoid clichés.
* Vital Things to Learn: To engage in meaningful conversations and build rapport.
7. "Why She Tests You (And How to Pass)":
* Focus: Explains the concept of "tests" that girls may unconsciously put guys through to assess their character and intentions.
* Vital Things to Remember: Girls often test guys to gauge their integrity and reliability.
* Vital Things to Learn: To remain true to yourself and demonstrate consistency in your actions and words.
8. "The Friend Zone: How to Escape (Or Avoid It Altogether)":
* Focus: Addresses the dreaded "friend zone" and offers strategies for guys to transition from friendship to a romantic relationship, or to avoid being placed in the friend zone in the first place.
* Vital Things to Remember: Clearly communicate your intentions and be willing to take risks.
* Vital Things to Learn: To assert your interest while respecting boundaries.
9. "What She Needs in a Relationship":
* Focus: Outlines the key elements that girls need in a romantic relationship, including trust, respect, support, and emotional connection.
* Vital Things to Remember: Relationships require effort, commitment, and mutual understanding.
* Vital Things to Learn: To prioritize your partner's needs and actively work to strengthen the relationship.
10. "The Breakup: How to Survive (And Even Learn From It)":
* Focus: Provides guidance on navigating breakups, offering advice on how to cope with the emotional aftermath and learn from the experience.
* Vital Things to Remember: Breakups are
March 25, 2013
My son wanted me to read this. He liked the book, felt that it was written well with good insights into the female mind, but he struggled with one thing. The authors make it sound as if you will go through multiple girls before you meet the one God has planned for you. Neither he nor I disagree that one might date more than one girl before the right one comes along, but both he and I got the impression that you will be on a dating carousel for many years before the girl God has planned for you comes along. His thoughts prior to this book (and encouraged a little by reading Joshua Harris's books) are why even bother to date at all until you are emotionally and financially ready to be in a permanent relationship? However, after reading FYMO, he was doubting his decision.
After reading this book, I understand why he was a little confused and questioning his choice not to date through highschool. The authors really do give the impression that the highschool and college years focus a lot on dating. If one can ignore that impression though, this book is a fantastic read for any young man who just can't get his head around girls, or who has met a young lady that he is interested in getting to know better. The book is based on lots of research -- not simply opinion and therefore is very truthful in what is written about how to understand the female gender.
In the end, I would recommend this book to all young men who have realized that girls no longer have cooties. It will help them understand how the female mind works and how to relate better to the opposite gender. Now I feel the need to read For Young Women Only.
After reading this book, I understand why he was a little confused and questioning his choice not to date through highschool. The authors really do give the impression that the highschool and college years focus a lot on dating. If one can ignore that impression though, this book is a fantastic read for any young man who just can't get his head around girls, or who has met a young lady that he is interested in getting to know better. The book is based on lots of research -- not simply opinion and therefore is very truthful in what is written about how to understand the female gender.
In the end, I would recommend this book to all young men who have realized that girls no longer have cooties. It will help them understand how the female mind works and how to relate better to the opposite gender. Now I feel the need to read For Young Women Only.
August 12, 2016
I found this book in our church library and read it to see if I should recommend it to a couple of the young guys in our youth group. Here are my thoughts:
On the positive side: this book has a lot of great wisdom and is written in a teen-friendly style, both conversational and accessible. It’s most effective in getting beyond surface actions and exploring why girls act the way they do. Generally speaking, it encourages the male reader to be authentic and confident (as opposed to cocky and/or timid).
On the negative side: whenever a book uses pop culture to appeal to teenagers, it runs the risk of becoming quickly dated. Even though this book was only published back in 2008, its references to Myspace and its outdated vocabulary are a bit cringe-worthy. At best, the book has solid truths wrapped up in slightly quirky word choice. At worst, it feels like the book is trying too hard and would miss the mark of a young reader in 2014.
I might have given it 4 stars in 2008.
On the positive side: this book has a lot of great wisdom and is written in a teen-friendly style, both conversational and accessible. It’s most effective in getting beyond surface actions and exploring why girls act the way they do. Generally speaking, it encourages the male reader to be authentic and confident (as opposed to cocky and/or timid).
On the negative side: whenever a book uses pop culture to appeal to teenagers, it runs the risk of becoming quickly dated. Even though this book was only published back in 2008, its references to Myspace and its outdated vocabulary are a bit cringe-worthy. At best, the book has solid truths wrapped up in slightly quirky word choice. At worst, it feels like the book is trying too hard and would miss the mark of a young reader in 2014.
I might have given it 4 stars in 2008.
April 10, 2012
This book was really awesome as far as a guide. I definitely will be more confident around the other gender, AKA Females and I think I know more about them. I learned some really interesting facts that I think all guys should know. If you read this book you will be able to respect the female species more. And ladies just because it says for young men only doesn' mean you can'tread it to see how you are all portrayed.
May 13, 2009
This a great little book designed to shed some light onto how most girls think and feel.
It is written based on real life interviews of the general public and shared from a Christian perspective. The book is not "preachy"!
I recommend this book to any young man seeking to better understand the girls around them.
It is written based on real life interviews of the general public and shared from a Christian perspective. The book is not "preachy"!
I recommend this book to any young man seeking to better understand the girls around them.
October 12, 2008
Great book to help young men better understand female thinking. If only we could get them to read it!
August 15, 2013
A great book with exceedingly valuable insight for all young males. It offers much needed perspective to help us relate better to those of the opposite gender.
May 18, 2014
Finally. Solid data on how women think.
September 15, 2015
I think it was great!!! It really let me understand how women really think. I would recommend it for teen years. I like the author and think he is great.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews