What Now?: Meditation for Your Twenties and Beyond

by Yael Shy

Early adulthood is filled with intense emotions and insecurity. What if you never fall in love? What if you can't find work you’re passionate about? You miss home. You miss close friends. You’re lost in the noise of how you think you should be living and worried about wasting what everyone says should be the best years of your life.

What Now? shares mindfulness practices to help twentysomethings learn to identify and accept these feelings and respond—not react—to painful and powerful stimuli without pushing them away or getting lost in them. This is not about fixing oneself or being "better." Readers are encouraged to embrace themselves exactly as they are. You are already completely whole, completely loveable, completely worthy. What Now?   shares practices that help us to wake up to this fact. 

This uniquely tumultuous developmental period is a time when many first live away from home and engage in all kinds of experimentation—with ideas, substances, relationships, and who we think we are and want to be in the world. Yael Shy shares her own story and offers basic meditation guides to beginning a practice. She explores the Buddhist framework for what causes suffering and explores ideas about interconnection and social justice as natural outgrowths of meditation practice.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Ebooks, Personal Growth, Spirituality, Meditation

224 pages, Paperback

Published November 7, 2017

Reviews

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read a lot of meditation books, but this one in particular allowed me to go beyond scratching the surface of how and why we meditate. The writer narrated experiences from her daily life, along with the particular life struggles that she had to work out for herself. She speaks about how meditation helped her process her struggles and make sense and meaning out of the world around her. Her stories do reflect on and respond to typical situations that a millennial might face, whether it relates to career or relationships.

Other meditation books might simply go into the practicality of meditation, how to meditate, or the benefits of meditation. They don't really go into the slow process of how meditation changes our mind and our heart as well as this one does. It's a compassionate and relatable tome that I really enjoyed reading and wholeheartedly recommend.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. My mom got this for me recently, because I struggle with anxiety and she's found benefits from meditation and mindfulness.

Something that hit me quite early on in the book was how much I could relate to the author on her journey to meditation. She talks about her inner voice constantly telling her she is worthless and small; that it caused her to loathe herself; that it made her miserable - and then that fighting with that inner voice made her feel even worse. Instead, she suggests being kind to her inner critic - welcoming her in and understanding her.

I like that throughout this book, the author takes care to mention and bring up evidence that marginalized and oppressed groups experience mental struggles far more than others do. For example, the emotional health of first-year college students is the lowest it has been in 25 years. Mental health is significantly lower for women than men, and there are even more mental and physical stressors for students of color because of daily overt and covert racism.

A few of my favorite quotes:
"In classical Buddhist teachings, the antidote to grasping is either visiting or visualizing a charnel ground where dead bodies are left to decompose. Why? Because remembering the truth that we all die - and remembering how unglamorous and icky it is when it happens - might help us cling tightly to the fleeting wants that hinder our meditations. Can't get a crush out of your mind? Picturing their rotting flesh and decomposing bones might help. Feeling distracted by desires for tasty food or a perfectly decorated apartment? Remembering the grisly reality of death we will all face might put things in perspective."

"...I noted in my journal: I cried for an hour this morning into my kale. I don't think it was about the kale."

All in all, I think this book was entertaining, and the author gave me hope for improving my mental health through meditation because of how much I could relate to her journey. It made meditation sound very approachable. But it didn't tell me HOW to approach it, just what the author experienced through her process.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting, insightful read with practical advice for meditation regarding relationships, youth, culture and social justice. Also filled with memorable quotes and stories from others, like:

“I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” - Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

[Matthew · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is not descriptive of this book, unfortunately. This is essentially a book about the benefits of meditation, and why you should meditate. If the book was titled, "why meditate?" it would absolutely answer that question and then some. But I was looking for advice on how to improve the meditations I was already doing, so in my circumstances this book didn't benefit me much at all.

[Charles Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book for beginning meditators. And, bonus: there doesn’t seem to be many books written on meditation by women, so here’s one!

[Kriti | Armed with A Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

Complete book thoughts on Armed with A Book.

Even if you are not interested in mindfulness and meditation, read this book to think about the things that you would not admit it to others out aloud, to learn what fear and anxiety it, and to go on a journey to know yourself better.

I will be honest, like many people, I have tired and sucked at meditation. I love the idea of mindfulness though and considering that this book targets my age group, I picked it up to learn something new. I was hoping Yael would be able to share her experiences and guide me. I have read books related to mindfulness before and feverishly highlighted Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Whenever you go, there you are, and one of my biggest takeaways from that was that meditation happens when we are ready for it.

When I saw this book on my shelf last week, I was ready to learn more from What Now?, and really open myself up to what Yael had to say. Sticky notes, pen and highlighter in hand, I read with intention. 🙂

We live in a world where social media gives the impression that life is amazing. Think about all the things that you post on it and the image of yourself that you consciously or unconsciously project. In a time like this, what we need the most are honest conversations. Truths about mistakes that we have made so that others might be able to learn from them or admit their own mistakes and not feel so alone. I am not saying we should post every problem we face on social media, I am just saying that sometimes, we need one person, or one book, to let us admit the dark secrets we hide and share their dark secrets in return.

Yael’s What Now? was this fantastic book for me. Many of the stories that Yael shares from her life, her twenties in particular about holding on to anger, about taking on more and more work, knowing it would not have worked out, delaying conversations, among other things, are situations I have personally experienced in some form. Knowing that it happened to her too made me feel so much better. Some of them might feel like shameful things to share but not all parts of life are shiny.

There is so much more I want to say about this book! There are so many thought provoking ideas and discussion points here that I could probably write a novella about it. 🙂 There are stories from Zen teachings, of Buddha, teachings of other teachers and much more! But most importantly, there are experiences in this book that you will relate to.

[Lisa]

4.5. I especially appreciated her honesty about the kind of thoughts she would have that meditation helped her recognise, like you're telling me girl! The half-memoir half-how-to is short and her insights to the point but so spot on; I highlighted probably half the book and intend to return to it. One of the most memorable passages, to me, was when she talked about being present throughout the day, that at first she was scared that she was missing precious thinking time, but found that not being lost in thought undoubtedly only added to her life and she could let go of reveries or mental planning. I like that. I also liked her thoughs on sex and being with someone completely, not projecting what you want to see in them. I also thought her idea to let arising desire drive you - rather than reactively focusing on the object of desire, or suppressing it - is amazingly useful. The ending of the book didn't really resonate with me that much, I found it a bit airy fairy and read her chapter on social justice ready to push back. In the end I did roughly approve of her points though, like to keep social justice love-centred and not to caricature people into being either completely good or bad. She mentioned a fear of Trump and kept insisting that we should "fight" for a just society and all that. Unexpected but not fundamentally repulsive to me, some people need to read this kind of thing and rather from a place of openness and inner-reflection than from a purely political agenda. Anyway, a good read for anyone interested in mindfulness, not just young people by the way.

[Kailee Eidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every 20ish year old interested in learning how to mediate and the benefits of it should read this book! GREAT starter book and she quotes plenty of Buddhist mentors and teachers that those already practicing are familiar with. In particular I loved the chapter on feeling emotions not being emotions. The RAIN approach is the one of the things I'm hoping to take away from this book and incorporate into my life. I love that she even included a meditation that goes with this book in the appendix. The other phenomenal chapter was the one on activism and I'm pretty sure she wrote the chapter just for me because she was calling my heart out big time. Identifying the "three poisons" in your own heart before you can make a change AND realizing that in order to make a change you have to come from a place of love even with the enemy (rather personal enemy or political enemy). This was one of my biggest goals this year and I LOVE once you speak something into the universe the signs for working on it start showing up everywhere. A book I will pick up again in another season.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading this and really enjoyed it. I've been wanting to get more into meditation but I've struggled and assumed I was just bad at it. I've read a few books on the topic and found most of them inaccessible and disconnected from the reality of modern life and the full messiness of the world. Yael's book was different. It grounded the concepts it discussed in anecdotes from her own life that I could connect with, and the tone was warm and down to earth. The instructions for meditation were straightforward. I definitely recommend this book.

[Payton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe every person, regardless of age, should read this book. Yael Shy writes with such relatedness, that just reading this book makes you feel more interconnected. Throughout the process of reading this book, my awareness of myself and my emotions has increased tenfold, and with that has come tremendous personal growth. This book definitely has changed the way I walk through life, with new coping mechanisms & more presence in my day to day life. I’m sharing this book with all my loved ones; definitely recommend!!

[Harry Jahnke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Remarkable book. I would recommend this to anyone who has always wanted to mediate but can't get past the "spiritual" aspects. Or to anyone who has a pulse. I've started meditating again and practicing mindfulness in my day to day life, taking advice from the book and I already feel like I'm healing age old wounds. Anyone struggling with anxiety/uncertainty/self-loathing? READ THIS.

[tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

took longer than i thought to finish because i hit a slump a little over halfway through.
initially picked this up because i was interested to see how the author’s jewish upbringing influenced her outlook on meditation and mindfulness, and was disappointed in the lack of jewish thought outside of referencing quotes from various rabbis. overall, pretty neat and easy read, even if it just reasserted my existing understanding of and approach to meditation. if anything, it was nice to have the anxiety and sadness of my 20s be affirmed; i know logically that other people feel exactly the same way i do, but it’s easy to feel like i’m the only one losing my mind sometimes. hoping that reading this reignites my love of meditation — i used to do it all the time, and it helped me feel so much more relaxed, but somewhere along the way i fell off.
i also liked the approach she offers in appendix D, where she suggests approaches for adjusting your relationship with social media by examining why you find yourself drawn to specific apps and when, checking in with yourself while on them, and making note of how you feel afterwards.

[Migs Fiel · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author was not much for style, although the book is really helpful.

Notes:
1. Clinging - Imagine a pit of decaying bodies. Does the object (or person) of desire still seem so appealing? It may seem pessimistic, but we will all turn into ashes and by then, our earthly desires may not seem so relevant anymore.

2. Aversion - "Poor baby, you feel so sad, stressed, or whatever it is you feel. I hope you feel better soon."

3. Negative Feelings (even positive) - Think of it as a baby bundled in your arms. Do RAIN (Recognize, Accept, Inquire, Nourish).

4. Mindful Eating - Think of all the processes the food had to go through up until the point it is served in your plate. Eat it with gratitude.

5. Mindful Technology - Set a specific goal to guide your gadget use and limit your time on it. Do not get too deep.

6. Mindful Walking - Feel your feet and feel each step. Experience the moment.

7. Hearfulness:
May ___ feel safe.
May ___ feel at ease.
May ___ feel loved.

Say this about the people you love, people you do not exactly love, everyone, all beings, yourself.

[jocelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars
I wasn't initially sure what to expect when I received this e-arc from NetGalley, but I can confidently say that what little idea I did have was far exceeded.

This is a short and accessible read for practitioners of all walks of life, but being a yoga instructor in my 20s in NYC, this just clicked. Part memoir, part how-to, Yael Shy's way of dissecting meditation into bite sized pieces can not be underestimated. I often found myself highlighting lengthy passages to bring out in my own teachings because her descriptions are just that good. My commute will be a little dimmer without this little book to keep me company, but I'm already looking forward to buying a physical copy that I can write in and refer back to on days when words just fail me. I'm positive a couple of friends will also be getting copies from me this holiday season, and I would recommend this book to any others interested in meditation or Buddhist teachings without reservation.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book focuses primarily on WHY we should meditate, versus HOW to actually meditate. Halfway through, Shy had me convinced we could all use meditation in our lives, but by the end I really didn't have a better understanding of exactly how to do it than before I started reading. I was hoping for more of a how-to for people who don't know what they're doing but think they could benefit from it, and this wasn't really it. The only meditation practices are relegated to a few short appendices at the back of the book. I think this would work much better in visual format, or maybe as an audio book.

[Yoric · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great, it's simple and illustrated with the author's unique point of view (as if we were friends).
I love the story of the two waves, it illustrates both our uniqueness and our wholeness. We have to deal with them both, without ignoring one or the other:

“Tall Wave, I can tell you in seven words why this situation that you observe is not a problem.”. The little wave said, “You’re not just a wave. You’re water.”

The three marks of existence according to Buddha: Impermanence, Suffering, Wholeness.

[Linh Nguyen · Rating 4 out of 5]

“We are all broken and in need of healing, and at the same time we are perfectly whole.”
What now? is a great book on meditation for young people and beginners. It’s very patient, very calming and very relatable. Both the how and why on meditation are addressed (though the why is a bit clearer). Sometimes it sounded a bit too good, too easy, too theoretical. But for a beginner book on mindfulness? It’s already cover almost every field and every experience a person can go through while meditating. Many great tips and advices throughout.

[Allison Carone · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite introductory books on meditation and mindfulness. Her writing style was so insightful because she didn't purport to be a perfect meditator as I feel many other authors do. She addresses the benefits of meditation, how to get started, and how to tackle possible roadblocks that will come up as you deepen your practice. She also integrates many profound Buddhist teachings that I don't normally encounter while reading Western authors' accounts of meditation, without coming off as exploitative of these teachings. I highly recommend to anyone of any age, regardless of the title.

[Erik Rocha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that I will not be lending out, because I think that I could read this book once a year and feel like the message is brand new and completely relevant to my life. Yael Shy really put Buddhism in terms that a millennial/Gen Z (what I am technically called) could understand. I recommend reading whether you are at the highest of highs or the lowest of lows -- it'll help put things into perspective and groom positive habits.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soo good! A great entry-level guide to meditation. I love how she included tips for different issues you might face with meditation like restlessness, tiredness, aversion, etc. I think the title might scare away older readers but I think her meditation advice is universal to practitioners of all ages. I appreciate that she was very real about how people struggle with meditation and staying positive.

[Kevin Page · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent book on meditation practice (and relationships, and self-worth, etc.) for emerging adults of college-age. As an author of a book on meditation for college-aged persons myself, I can confidently say there are not that many books out there specifically for this age demographic and of the ones that are out there, Yael Shy's What Now? is one of the best!

[Ireland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unfortunately I had to DNF this book. I got about 70% done with this book and finally had to make the decision to leave it to read at another point in time. It’s a very secular and Buddhist-based take on meditation and calmness, which I don’t particularly agree with. But I gave it a shot because it was a gift from my grandma. Even though I didn’t finish it this time, I will finish it eventually.

[Liv · Rating 2 out of 5]

As an individual that seems to be the target demographic of this book, I couldn’t say that I found any actionable steps as the title may suggest.

The book tackles reasons to meditate, inclusive of many Buddhist examples as well as real-life studies and personal events. A more appropriate title would have been “Why Meditate?”

[Katie Moynihan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This resonated with me a surprising amount! I like that it is targeted toward young adults going through big life changes, but also that it is just a practical how-to guide/crash course on meditation. I’ve been meditating on and off for about the past year, & this book will definitely remain a tool I refer back to as my practice continues 🧘‍♀️

[Cary Rodriguez Vera · Rating 3 out of 5]

What Now? Meditation for Your Twenties and Beyond

I found it a really honest book, I mean, in many parts of your life you have wondered What Now? And the author give us some tools especially meditation to ease ourselves and give us permission to be vulnerable.

[Liana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick and easy read that introduced mindfulness and meditation without overcomplicating it or making the reader feel overwhelmed. Yael Shy was relatable and kept the book short and to the point. Great book for learning about meditation practices in a light and easy way.

[Amelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots to reread. I wish the book went into a little more depth, and provided some more explanations for the quotes. Sometimes I was confused by the surface level explanations, but the book still helped me a lot. Some tears were shed, and now I'm ready to meditate.

[Julie Roth · Rating 4 out of 5]

New insights into meditation and very readable.

[Alba Veliu · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is a particular passage on forgiveness that I will keep with me forever.

[Moe Jawich · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Do not use your prize jewels as a begging bowl."