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Confess-O-Rama
When Tony's mother's fourth husband dies, Tony ends up taking care of his mother and himself. As the new kid in high school, he vows to blend in with the crowd and avoid attachments. But he soon meets Jordan, who's both intriguing and flamboyant, dressed in black, adorned in padlocks and chains and a sign saying "Instant Chastity."
It's no wonder Tony often dials a self-help hotline called Confess-O-Rama. While Tony pours out his heart and secrets, little does he know that Jordan runs Confess-O-Rama and plans to use all the dialogue for an auditory art exhibit.
It's no wonder Tony often dials a self-help hotline called Confess-O-Rama. While Tony pours out his heart and secrets, little does he know that Jordan runs Confess-O-Rama and plans to use all the dialogue for an auditory art exhibit.
- GenresYoung AdultHumorArtTeen
176 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1996
1 person is currently reading
24 people want to read
About the author
Ron Koertge
71 books103 followersAsk Ron Koertge what he brings to the realm of young adult fiction, and the seasoned author responds matter-of-factly. "I write dialogue well, and I'm funny," he says--an assessment few would argue with. "I like iconoclasm and practice it in my fiction. I don't like pretense or hypocrisy. I'm almost always irreverent."
A faculty member for more than 35 years at Pasadena City College, where he has taught everything from Shakespeare to remedial writing, Ron Koertge is the author of several acclaimed novels, most of them for young adults. That Ron Koertge is a master at capturing teenagers' voices--often in witty repartee--is fully evident in MARGAUX WITH AN X, the story of a sharp-tongued beauty and a quirky, quick-witted loner. "MARGAUX WITH AN X started as a short story, but the heroine wouldn't let me alone," the author says. "She had a story to tell, and she wanted a whole novel to tell it in." Another unlikely pairing is found in STONER & SPAZ, Ron Koertge's funny, in-your-face tale of a young cinephile with cerebral palsy and the stoner who steals his heart. "My wife works with the disabled," the writer says of his inspiration for the novel, which quickly garnered critical acclaim. "One night she came home and told me about a young man she'd been working with. He had C.P. and a terrific sense of humor. Coincidentally, that day I had talked to a former student of mine who'd recently been in rehab for substance abuse. What would happen, I wondered, if those two knew each other?"
In addition to his young adult novels, Ron Koertge writes poetry, and has been dubbed "the wisest, most entertaining wiseguy in American poetry" by poet-laureate Billy Collins. SHAKESPEARE BATS CLEANUP is narrated by a straight-talking, fourteen-year-old first baseman who has been benched by mono and decides to take a swing at writing poetry. Written entirely in free verse, with examples of several poetic forms slipped into the mix--including a sonnet, haiku, pastoral, and even a pantoum--SHAKESPEARE BATS CLEANUP is a veritable English teacher's dream. "The interest in SHAKESPEARE BATS CLEANUP is less with the arc of the plot than with the individual poems, some of which demonstrate poetic form, some of which tell the story," the author says. "One of my biggest challenges was to write like a fourteen-year-old who has a knack for writing poetry, and not just sound like a sixty-one-year-old pretending to be one!"
The author's first book with Candlewick, THE BRIMSTONE JOURNALS, is also a novel written in free verse, with 15 different teenage characters narrating four or five poems each. "The book started to nag me a few months before the shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado, and I started to make notes in the form of poems," he says of the hauntingly prescient work. "BRIMSTONE needed to move at high velocity, and this form is perfect for that: no tail fins, no leather seats, no moon roof. Just get in and go."
Ron Koertge grew up in an agricultural area in an old mining town in Illinois, just across the Mississippi from St. Louis, Missouri. There he learned to "drive a tractor and buck hay bales, which are clearly useful skills in Los Angeles," he quips. He and his wife live in South Pasadena, California.
A faculty member for more than 35 years at Pasadena City College, where he has taught everything from Shakespeare to remedial writing, Ron Koertge is the author of several acclaimed novels, most of them for young adults. That Ron Koertge is a master at capturing teenagers' voices--often in witty repartee--is fully evident in MARGAUX WITH AN X, the story of a sharp-tongued beauty and a quirky, quick-witted loner. "MARGAUX WITH AN X started as a short story, but the heroine wouldn't let me alone," the author says. "She had a story to tell, and she wanted a whole novel to tell it in." Another unlikely pairing is found in STONER & SPAZ, Ron Koertge's funny, in-your-face tale of a young cinephile with cerebral palsy and the stoner who steals his heart. "My wife works with the disabled," the writer says of his inspiration for the novel, which quickly garnered critical acclaim. "One night she came home and told me about a young man she'd been working with. He had C.P. and a terrific sense of humor. Coincidentally, that day I had talked to a former student of mine who'd recently been in rehab for substance abuse. What would happen, I wondered, if those two knew each other?"
In addition to his young adult novels, Ron Koertge writes poetry, and has been dubbed "the wisest, most entertaining wiseguy in American poetry" by poet-laureate Billy Collins. SHAKESPEARE BATS CLEANUP is narrated by a straight-talking, fourteen-year-old first baseman who has been benched by mono and decides to take a swing at writing poetry. Written entirely in free verse, with examples of several poetic forms slipped into the mix--including a sonnet, haiku, pastoral, and even a pantoum--SHAKESPEARE BATS CLEANUP is a veritable English teacher's dream. "The interest in SHAKESPEARE BATS CLEANUP is less with the arc of the plot than with the individual poems, some of which demonstrate poetic form, some of which tell the story," the author says. "One of my biggest challenges was to write like a fourteen-year-old who has a knack for writing poetry, and not just sound like a sixty-one-year-old pretending to be one!"
The author's first book with Candlewick, THE BRIMSTONE JOURNALS, is also a novel written in free verse, with 15 different teenage characters narrating four or five poems each. "The book started to nag me a few months before the shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado, and I started to make notes in the form of poems," he says of the hauntingly prescient work. "BRIMSTONE needed to move at high velocity, and this form is perfect for that: no tail fins, no leather seats, no moon roof. Just get in and go."
Ron Koertge grew up in an agricultural area in an old mining town in Illinois, just across the Mississippi from St. Louis, Missouri. There he learned to "drive a tractor and buck hay bales, which are clearly useful skills in Los Angeles," he quips. He and his wife live in South Pasadena, California.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
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September 18, 2019Apparently I read this in middle school, according to my diary at the time. No review, though, unfortunately!
May 19, 2011
Another funny Koertge novel, with a typical teen boy and lots of quirky others. I like Tony’s passion for cooking, and how he handles his Mom’s lingering depression. He has some good one-liners, but that makes me wish for more story-driven laughs.
More significantly, it seems like a few pages are missing. There are times when Tony’s plans and reactions feel like too much too soon. Local radio voice Larry Deluxe hops from scenes to relationships with no clear indication of how he gets anywhere. His son Barry is equally hard to account for. He’s an obnoxious macho-boy, but then maybe he has an OK side. At any rate, he’s too insignificant for an explanation, so he just gums up the fringes.
Another problem: the “big cause,” freedom of expression, isn’t all that interesting in this context. Neither is Tony’s artsy like-interest Jordan. She’s OK, but nothing to redefine your life for. Needless to say, this book falls in the same category.
More significantly, it seems like a few pages are missing. There are times when Tony’s plans and reactions feel like too much too soon. Local radio voice Larry Deluxe hops from scenes to relationships with no clear indication of how he gets anywhere. His son Barry is equally hard to account for. He’s an obnoxious macho-boy, but then maybe he has an OK side. At any rate, he’s too insignificant for an explanation, so he just gums up the fringes.
Another problem: the “big cause,” freedom of expression, isn’t all that interesting in this context. Neither is Tony’s artsy like-interest Jordan. She’s OK, but nothing to redefine your life for. Needless to say, this book falls in the same category.
February 11, 2016
Another funny Koertge novel, with a typical teen boy and lots of quirky others. I like Tony 19s passion for cooking, and how he handles his Mom 19s lingering depression. He has some good one-liners, but that makes me wish for more story-driven laughs.
More significantly, it seems like a few pages are missing. There are times when Tony 19s plans and reactions feel like too much too soon. Local radio voice Larry Deluxe hops from scenes to relationships with no clear indication of how he gets anywhere. His son Barry is equally hard to account for. He 19s an obnoxious macho-boy, but then maybe he has an OK side. At any rate, he 19s too insignificant for an explanation, so he just gums up the fringes.
Another problem: the 1Cbig cause, 1D freedom of expression, isn 19t all that interesting in this context. Neither is Tony 19s artsy like-interest Jordan. She 19s OK, but nothing to redefine your life for. Needless to say, this book falls in the same category.
More significantly, it seems like a few pages are missing. There are times when Tony 19s plans and reactions feel like too much too soon. Local radio voice Larry Deluxe hops from scenes to relationships with no clear indication of how he gets anywhere. His son Barry is equally hard to account for. He 19s an obnoxious macho-boy, but then maybe he has an OK side. At any rate, he 19s too insignificant for an explanation, so he just gums up the fringes.
Another problem: the 1Cbig cause, 1D freedom of expression, isn 19t all that interesting in this context. Neither is Tony 19s artsy like-interest Jordan. She 19s OK, but nothing to redefine your life for. Needless to say, this book falls in the same category.
December 16, 2015
I didn't find this book quite as interesting as I thought it would be. It had a good story to it but I personally was not able to get into it and stay hooked. I found I had to make myself finish it but it might be that my school work load had me somewhat distracted. I did find the characters to be interesting like Tony, the new kid and Jordan, who ran the hotline Confess-O-Rama. I like how Tony takes care of his widowed mother. I feel pretty bad for him.
July 24, 2020
I still remember asking my dad to buy me this book when I was a teen. It’s been one of my comfort books ever since.
I love all these artist characters and then there’s the main character who is aggressively boring (or trying to be). I enjoyed the cooking scenes, and I thought the protest at school is a great teaching moment for teen readers, but my fave was Jordan’s project. I loved the idea of it and the execution as well.
I knew right away from reading this that Koertge writes poetry.
I love all these artist characters and then there’s the main character who is aggressively boring (or trying to be). I enjoyed the cooking scenes, and I thought the protest at school is a great teaching moment for teen readers, but my fave was Jordan’s project. I loved the idea of it and the execution as well.
I knew right away from reading this that Koertge writes poetry.
April 5, 2016
Probably the last book I'll read of his (except new ones maybe) Not a verse book, but very good. Tony has moved multiple times because his mother has married 4 times and become a widow for each. Tony becomes friends with some wacky kids and wants to stay in "West Paradise, CA." The books has a lot of witty dialogue and likeable, albeit strange characters. I really liked this one.
September 29, 2009
enjoyable, though not the best ron koertge ever. still, it had lots of his classic snappy diologue, and i'm glad that i have another of his books read seeing as how he's my new favourite ya author and all.
January 28, 2010
Cute YA, but a little corny.
August 25, 2023
Another boring teenage boy, despite the intriguing premise.
May 26, 2013
my friend's brother in law wrote this- I like his stuff- heart felt coming of age stuff, outsider looking to fit in. where is my place as a 17n year old- guess they are just stories I need to hear.
December 21, 2015
I first read this book back when I was 13, and I have picked it up a few times since. It never fails to amuse me and I always find something different in it.
April 20, 2016
This book is really funny. Although I find the characters annoying, the dialouges are pretty good.
July 3, 2017
This was funny. Tony makes a very witty protagonist.
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November 17, 2009fjghje56ijyth6y
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews