Beautiful Scars: Steeltown Secrets, Mohawk Skywalkers and the Road Home

by Tom Wilson

"I'm scared and scarred but I’ve survived"
 
Tom Wilson was raised in the rough-and-tumble world of Hamilton—Steeltown— in the company of World War II vets, factory workers, fall-guy wrestlers and the deeply guarded secrets kept by his parents, Bunny and George. For decades Tom carved out a life for himself in shadows. He built an international music career and became a father, he battled demons and addiction, and he waited, hoping for the lies to cease and the truth to emerge. It would. And when it did, it would sweep up the St. Lawrence River to the Mohawk reserves of Quebec, on to the heights of the Manhattan skyline.
     With a rare gift for storytelling and an astonishing story to tell, Tom writes with unflinching honesty and extraordinary compassion about his search for the truth. It's a story about scars, about the ones that hurt us, and the ones that make us who we are.
 
From Beautiful Scars :
 
Even as a kid my existence as the son of Bunny and George Wilson seemed far-fetched to me. When I went over it in my head, none of it added up. The other kids on East 36th Street in Hamilton used to tell me stories of their mothers being pregnant and their newborn siblings coming home from the hospital. Nobody ever talked about Bunny's and my return from the hospital. In my mind my birth was like the nativity, only with gnarly dogs and dirty snow and a chipped picket fence and old blind people with short tempers and dim lights, ashtrays full of Export Plain cigarette butts and bottles of rum.
     Once, when I was about four, I asked Bunny, "How come I don't look anything like you and George? How come you are old and the other moms are young?"
      "There are secrets I know about you that I’ll take to my grave," she responded. And that pretty well finished that. Bunny built up a wall to protect her secrets, and as a result I built a wall to protect myself.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Indigenous, Canada, Audiobook, Biography, Music

230 pages, Hardcover

Published November 21, 2017

Reviews

[Jane Mulkewich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure - I am a friend of Sandy, who is Tom's ex-wife and the mother of his children. And I loved this book because this is Tom telling his life story and it is told honestly and with respect and owning up to all the things that he needs to own up to, and a beautiful story because in the end he finds out a little more about himself, and why things happened the way they did. A Hamilton story through and through. Every Hamiltonian should read this book. Well done, Tom.

[Penny (Literary Hoarders) · Rating 5 out of 5]

One hell of a memoir - had the chance to hear a part of Tom Wilson's life story in the Fall and when I found out he was recording the audio of his memoir I HAD to listen to it. If you do plan to read this book, I highly recommend the audio - the whole gamit of emotions ran through me when listening - from sadness and crying to laughter to amazement and jaw dropping into my lap. The ending left me in a puddle of tears. What an incredible life story.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Talk about identity confusion. Tom has acquired a lot of hard-earned wisdom about the subject of truth and the energy that is required to perpetuate living a life of lies. Also he is a transparent soul who hit rock bottom and found his way back towards redemption and second chances. Tom is a guy who not only has amazing musical talents (song writing, singing voice, guitar playing), but turns out he's a gifted writer as well. I found his personal story, of finding his roots and fighting addiction, very inspiring. And it was cool that we grew up in the same hood -East 36th Street, so I could easily landmark the locations mentioned in the book and relate to being a fellow Hamiltonian.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who grew up in Hamilton with parental secrets, a lot of this memoir resonated with me. It’s hard to know but not know. I loved it. Tom Wilson has a great story telling ability.
I also loved the story line involving his own children & the road they’ve travelled together. A lot of people don’t get the opportunity to continue relationships with their kids after the kind of life that rock & roll brings you through but you can tell Tom knows the value of that opportunity & you can tell he’s truly thankful for it.
Side note: if you’re from Hamilton it’s fun to read about all the places you know.
A really great read!

[George Ilsley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full confession — I had no idea who this person was when I picked up this memoir. All of his music scene references mostly just flew past me, as if it concerned a foreign land.

I found myself less engaged as the book went on. The earlier scenes seemed to have been more polished; the later material felt rushed and half-done.

There are many intersecting stories here — adoption, First Nations, addiction, rock-and-roll, World War II lingering trauma — and the material is mostly very well written. However, at times, I felt the emphasis was more on the writing and less on the underlying emotions; in others words, I didn't always believe the beautiful writing (such as when he describes how the sky looked on the day he was born).

I probably would have liked this more if I had any idea who the author was, or if I had ever heard him tell one of his fascinating stories. Blame all my petty criticisms on my utter ignorance.

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every night I look
From star to star
Three thousand miles through these empty bars
And I end up sleeping
Out in my car
And the moon shines off my beautiful scars

– Blackie And The Rodeo Kings

I was at a tribute concert to Leonard Cohen in Toronto the other night – an evening of Canadian singers performing his songs, writers sharing personal anecdotes and reading Cohen's poetry – and one of the performers was Tom Wilson. Not only were his growling interpretations of some of Cohen's songs among the most entertaining of the evening, but when Wilson decided to share an anecdote of his own, I thought, “What a fascinating storyteller.” So I picked up his memoir. Beautiful Scars is Wilson's story of growing up on the poor side of Hamilton in the Sixties and Seventies, finding escape through drugs and music, hitting the peak of international success, and nearly losing everything through his own excess. It might have been just another rock 'n roll memoir, but throughout his entire story, there's a family secret that caused him pain growing up; a mystery that wasn't fully resolved until Wilson was in the process of writing this book. Again, I found him to be a fascinating – if slightly amateur – storyteller, and I found him to be so likeable and genuine that I was happy to have had this reading experience.

We survive, and with those skills, and in that survival, we create art.

Tom Wilson's parents were older than the other kids' folks: His Dad, George, was a WWII RCAF airman who had been blinded during battle, and coming home disabled and addicted to morphine, he was a bitter and hard-drinking man; working at a government-funded concession stand for wounded veterans and collecting a small pension, George brought in just barely enough money to get by. Tom's mother, Bunny, would sit around the kitchen in her underwear and apron, only doing enough housekeeping to keep clear paths for her blind husband to navigate through the mess; spending her free time spying on the neighbours and shoplifting at the stores downtown. Despite obvious clues, Tom had no idea that his family was poor until the Christmas that his classroom's donation box for the “Needy” was delivered to his own home. Ouch. No matter how painful or personal the recollection about his parents, however, Wilson consistently keeps the tone conversational, but sometimes, a bit too crafted:

The most unthinkable stories she would save for supper time. She couldn't help herself. Tales of train wrecks, body parts, mob hits, Hiroshima, Kennedy's day in Dallas, priests and altar boys, shotgun suicides – all got thrown out across my plate of meatloaf and boiled potatoes, the bloody condiment to otherwise boring meals.

It's valid for a professional lyricist to salt his writing with metaphors, but I sometimes found it jarring – which made the writing feel a bit amateur, in an overwritten way – but not a fatal flaw for my enjoyment. I won't get into the rest of Wilson's story – I wouldn't want to ruin any of the mysteries – but I will note that I enjoyed all of the Southwestern Ontario references: from African Lion Safari to Call the Office, folks smoking Player's and drinking stubbies, driving to Port Dover or Tillsonburg – these are my stomping grounds and touchstones and I don't see them enough in print. I also want to note that not everyone who picks up a guitar or sits down to write a book is necessarily an artist, but Tom Wilson seems like the real deal: the way he writes about his processes for making music over the years (as a member of the Florida Razors, Junkhouse, Blackie and the Rodeo Kings, and Lee Harvey Osmond) seems so integral to who he is that not only did I find him to be 100% authentic, but recognised that making art was probably the only way that Wilson could have survived a bizarre childhood and the ensuing years of addictions. Recently, Wilson has been spending some time touring with a group of successful Canadian artists, giving mentoring talks to those just starting out:

For an hour at a time I'd talk to green writers and artists about surviving in a world that does not need what they have to offer. It was an easy hour to kill. My entire life I'd been struggling to maintain my self-respect while doing whatever it was I wanted to do creatively, dodging depression and criticism and resisting the urge to find a closet to hang myself in...I'd start my lecture with a simple line, “If you don't have to do this, don't. If you don't have the burning desire to wake up and create something, if your life does not depend on it, then please stop. You'll end up wasting your time and the time of anyone who crosses paths with your creation.” I would look back into the eyes of my audience and see them thinking, “I can't believe I spent all this money to get lectured to by a guy who looks like he sleeps in his car.”

So, whether you're interested in a story of how art is forged in pain, a travelogue of Canada's most populous corridor, or a rock 'n roll memoir with limos, coke, and orgies (that's all in here too), Tom Wilson has a story to tell you, and he tells it well.

[Christine Blythe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Won on Giveaway! This book was a particular interest to me since I have lived in Hamilton since 1979!....written with Truth, Rawness, Passion and Love...made me laugh and cry.. Tom is a true Artist , in all ways.....BRAVO ! Highly, highly recommended!

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

My wife's book group had a spouses night and this is the book I had to read. I don't think I would have read it otherwise. I was expecting a mess and something I would have to force myself to get through. I was pleasantly surprised when I started reading and realized it was a great story and very well written. It was an easy read and I plowed through it quite quickly. I'm the type of reader that is lucky to get through three pages at night before I fall asleep. This is a book that I wanted to read during the day and thoroughly enjoy it. I've met Tom several times as I live in the same neighbourhood and our sons use to play on the same hockey team. I knew he was a talented musician and I like his music but I never really knew him as a person. I feel like I know him now and what an interesting life he has lived. He came to the book group gathering as it was hosted by friends of his. He was down to earth, well spoken and as interesting as his book.

[John Corr · Rating 5 out of 5]

This might be Tom Wilson's autobiography, but it doubles as a biography of Hamilton, Ontario, and the best one I've read. Tom Wilson is Hamilton's Poet Laureate forever, so it's not surprising that the book is all Hamilton grit all the time. But it's done in a way that transcends cliche, like when a Leonard Cohen song breathes real heart and soul into metaphors that would be played out in anyone else's voice.

The stories in this book are gripping. From start to finish, the thread that ties it all together has nothing to do with music, but with Wilson's quest to understand who he is and where he came from. There are a few twists and turns, right down to the last chapter, so make sure you read this one all the way through.

Full disclosure: I came of age in Hamilton bars loving Junkhouse and the musicians who played locally in the mid-late 1990's. So I'm deeply biased! That being said, the stories are so good, many readers will enjoy.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a touching and lovely book. It's about family, identity, and the importance of knowing who you are. I liked the pace of the book, and how it drew me it - it felt like the author was speaking to me, and confiding in me; there's a lovely intimacy to this book. I also liked that the book was not a zillion pages long - I love to read biographies, and hear about other lives, but many of them seem to get bogged down in irrelevant detail, and are heavy-handed, which cause the reader to wander off the page and lose interest. No such thing here; the book is nice and crisp, well-written, something like what you'd hear a good friend say to you over a cup of coffee.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Won in the First Reads giveaway, will review soon.

I have to admit, I don't seem to like music related non-fiction. I like music, I like non-fiction, but it just doesn't work for me. Any mention about amps or whatever, I dunno. That being said, the parts of the book about his childhood and family are beautiful.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Beautiful Scars” which I won through Goodreads Giveaways is the touching memoir of Canadian musician and songwriter Tom Wilson and his journey from childhood to middle-age as he looks for his self-respect and identity while dealing with family relationships.

It begins with aging parents of Irish-Quebecois extraction, a father blinded in WWII and a secret his feisty but loving mother Bunny holds close to her heart until the day she dies. Living in poverty and taunted by schoolmates who call him an Indian, Tom struggles to find acceptance and satisfaction in life; his musical talent bringing him joy as he strives to be successful in the industry and sorrow as he grapples with drugs, booze, womanizing and a marriage breakup.

Painful in its intensity as Tom not only undergoes therapy determined to put his life back together, but in a chance encounter after his parents have died discovers that he’s adopted, has Mohawk roots and that Janie, Bunny’s niece is actually his biological mother. With pieces of a puzzle that has always plagued him Tom Wilson’s life takes on new meaning as he connects with his biological parents and his Mohawk heritage, becoming the person he was always meant to be.

A natural storyteller Tom brings Hamilton, the rugged “Steeltown” of the 1960’s and 70’s to life with its proud blue-collar neighborhood, wrestlers, World War II veterans, and factory workers. Emotionally powerful with his unwavering honesty and dark humor, he draws us into a life filled with secrets, hardship and bad choices as well as its triumph when a truth is revealed that changes his life forever. Smoothly paced and gripping this is a story you can’t put down until finished.

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book about the life of Canadian musician Tom Wilson. As a boy he never felt that he fit with his parents and eventually he finds his real identity as a Mohawk. Thanks to Goodreads for this giveaway.

[Carrie Sienkowska · Rating 5 out of 5]

I grew up in Port Dover down the highway from Hamilton. It was our big city. I spent my university days wandering around Steeltown finding it to be exactly what Tom has shared in these pages. This book was not only a wandering through his memories but also my own, as he noted places that I know so well.

I recently heard Tom read passages from his book while accompanied by the Hamilton Symphony Orchestra - it was one of the most beautiful and moving performances I have ever seen in my life. It was an honour to watch someone be so strong, vulnerable, creative, and open in front of hundreds of people.

When I was reading this book I found myself humbled by his vulnerability and rawness. He seems to enter a space so many people have hard time engaging with, that space of raw emotion and honesty where we have to acknowledge that we often have conflicting emotions and thoughts in the same moment or with the same experience. I was impressed by his prose and his ability to bring you into the fold of his life on East Hamilton mountain.

Even though this is a memoir, I found it to be much more than that, and more like a guide to navigating complex and paradoxical feelings and experiences; an example of how to sit in spaces of intense emotions, especially ones of longing and acceptance. I would highly recommend this book.

[Caitlin Merritt · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to Doubleday Canada and Tom Wilson for the free advance copy!!

For the most part, this was a mediocre memoir. Full disclosure: I'm not a particular fan of Tom Wilson - I don't dislike him or his music, I'd just never heard of him or his music until I won a copy of this book. I might not be the target audience.

The parts about Tom's childhood and his discovery of his genetic roots were really engaging. The parts about his rock and roll lifestyle - particularly his substance abuse and the family drama, rehab sequence and revelations once he'd found sobriety that come along with that were far less so. I felt as though I read it all before, and written better elsewhere.

Also, I didn't love how harsh he was about his adoptive parents not telling him he was adopted. I understand that it's his truth and their failure to tell him has clearly had a profound effect on his life, but at the same time I always find it unfair when adopted children describe their birth parents as their "real" parents when the adoptive ones raise you and do more to make you who you are (in my completely non-scientific opinion).

Pick this one up if you're a fan of Tom Wilson or rock-and-roll memoirs, skip it if you're not.

[Dianne Everson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book and then waited to finish reading it until closer to the time I was to see him perform again. Sort of like looking forward to a special dessert.
The story of a hard living singer from the poor side of Hamilton Ontario throughout his career and his discovery of his adoption and first nations roots is fascinating, heartbreaking and uplifting.
It is also well written, the use of language often beautiful, as befits a songwriter.
Anyone would enjoy it as a memoir.
As a Tom Wilson fan from Blackie and the Rodeo Kings, to the wonderful creation of Lee Harvey Osmond and the three CDs, the Falk Sinner, A Quiet Evil, and Beautiful Scars, it is a treasure.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a life. I wasn’t able to put this book down. So much love and truth about a family with secrets. The life of Tom Wilson is heart breaking and is so truthful even though he came from a foundation of lies. The one thing that runs thru this beautiful story is the love of family. Hamilton is felt thru every page I turned. The pride and strength of the steel town is undeniable. The heartbreaking pain that single mothers had to endure in that time. Beautiful scars is truly a beautiful story and should be read.

[Mark Archibald · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a sucker for books about Canada through the eyes of actors and artists. The regions of our country mould and shape people distinctly. I’m also a sucker for Canuck Rock. And in the last few years I have come to appreciate the gritty stories of indigenous people who overcome and persevere. This book is the intersection of these three things. Wilson shares his life story with great honesty. Walk in these shoes - these scars speak volumes.

[Darren Waterhouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very brave baring of the soul, and a intimate insight into the mind of a great songwriter and story teller. I was fortunate to win an advance copy, but had the chance to go to a signing and purchased a hardcover copy, signed by Tom.

[Michele Menard · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's hard to review a book that is so narrow in focus. So, I will just say that if you're from SW Ontario, or from Hamilton, AND you were into indie rock/folk in the 80's - you'll love it. If you aren't or weren't - you probably won't.

[Kevin Craig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great read!

[Teena in Toronto · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tom Wilson is a musician in his late fifties who was/is in the groups Junkhouse, LeE HARVeY OsMOND and Blackie and the Rodeo Kings. This is his story.

Wilson was raised in Hamilton, ON, the son of Bunny and George, who were older than his friend's parents. He always felt that something was off and found out about five years ago that he was adopted. It explained a lot about what he was feeling as he was growing up. A couple years later it was confirmed that he was not the only child of Irish-Canadian George and French-Canadian Bunny but was actually the illegitimate son of a young Mohawk woman, someone who had been in his life all his life. He eventually found his half-brothers and half-sisters, children of his father, also a Mohawk.

Wilson was always drawn to music. Though George and Bunny didn't have a lot of money, he was able to scam instruments while in school. He did whatever he had to do to make money ... performing, selling drugs, busking, etc. He met Sandy when he was in this twenties. They ended up married with two children but his wild ways and lifestyle drove them apart. He went into rehab and is clean. He has a good relationship with Sandy, his two children and two grandchildren.

I didn't know who Tom Wilson was before I read this book, though I had heard of the bands he was/is in. I'd read about his book in the newspaper and thought he had an interesting story to tell, which he did. I liked the writing style and found he's quite honest about the experiences he's had in his life. As a head's up, there is swearing.

Blog review post: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2018/01...

[Doris Thomsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was interested in reading this book as I had grown up in the East mountain neighbourhood that Tom came from. I went to school with him at Peace Memorial and Sherwood Secondary as well. Tom did a great job of laying out the characters that frequented that area. He brought back a lot of memories for me.
I lost track of Tom after high school and then heard about his various groups he was in and saw some of his performances at summer festivals.
It's incredible how he found his lost heritage, so glad he did.
It's a fabulous read even if you didn't grow up in the neighbourhood. Reading about his high jinx made me laugh. What a character he is.
I would definitely recommend this book about the struggles of a singer songwriter.

[Mrscheekymonkey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tom’s book was well done, very interesting. Being a Hamiltonian myself, I knew some of the people and most of the places talked about.
Also, loved finding out secrets of people who were close in my life, like Bill and Lynn Powell. Cathy Powell (Bill’s sister) was our neighbour and my parents were on the board of directors for the Festival of Friends and Creative Arts. As a teenager, I volunteered at the festivals and hung out at Bill’s gatherings.
Oooh the secrets! Lol 😂
Great book! Highly recommend!

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heading into this book of memoirs, I knew nothing about Canadian musician Tom Wilson other than being familiar with some of his songs from Blackie and the Rodeo Kings. This was an interesting book about his less than idyllic childhood and the destructive power of secrets and lies. Wilson is a good story teller although it took a little getting used to the raw, unpolished style of the narrative. Thanks to Goodreads Giveaways for providing me with the opportunity to read this book.

[Laura Prinsthal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this with much nostalgia, love and appreciation for my hometown, Hamilton. I also felt connected with Tom's many recollections of the Hamilton music scene. Tom Wilson's writing of his life so far is absolutely incredible.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this memoir, despite not knowing anything about Tom Wilson or his music prior to reading the book. He has had quite the life, and I’m glad he didn’t let his demons get the best of him.

[Jane Spiteri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saw Blackie and the Rodeo Kings before Christmas, and was intrigued by Tom Wilson. He spoke beautifully, eloquently about his past and present life. The only thing that would be better than reading this book, would be to listen to him read the audio version. Can anyone explain what "pinched the queen off the bills" means, when Tom was talking about Bunny saving money to buy booze? I have never heard this phrase before. This song was in my head through the entire book. The man has lived a life!: https://www.google.com/search?q=stone...

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been following Tom Wilson for years, as a Canadian musician and an intriguing character. It's somehow not surprising that he also has a compelling personal story, which he generously shares in this book. I appreciated being let in on this - both sweet and heart-breaking - story. Besides being an accomplished musician and artist, Tom Wilson is also a great story-teller. Numerous situations and conversations in this book stay with me, like the conversation in the car when he finds out who his real father is. Partly hilarious and partly completely ordinary, and at the same time so significant. A few questions and answers clearing up a lifetime worth of confusion. I highly recommend this book and wish Tom Wilson well as he continues to walk down 'the road home'.

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a story! -- and there are really powerful parts of this. However, the writing lacks confidence and Wilson tends to fall back on cliches. A tougher editor would have made this book better.