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Before I Go
Known for the wit of her writing, Catherine Cookson was the UK’s most widely read novelist during her lifetime. When her Estate discovered this never-before-published memoir in the attic of her home, it was an astonishing find. Before I Go is the definitive story of her life, in the author’s own candid words.
While Cookson had authored previous autobiographies, none have truly touched upon the tragedy and personal anguish she experienced until now. For the first time, she reveals the worst years of her life—her constant battles with illness and a series of devastating miscarriages, the damaging jealousy of her friend and her struggle to be taken seriously as a writer. But what shines through most is her strength in the face of adversity, her deep love for her husband, Tom, the solace she found in her art and her unmistakable character. Before I Go is an inspiring story of resilience and a must for any Cookson fan.
While Cookson had authored previous autobiographies, none have truly touched upon the tragedy and personal anguish she experienced until now. For the first time, she reveals the worst years of her life—her constant battles with illness and a series of devastating miscarriages, the damaging jealousy of her friend and her struggle to be taken seriously as a writer. But what shines through most is her strength in the face of adversity, her deep love for her husband, Tom, the solace she found in her art and her unmistakable character. Before I Go is an inspiring story of resilience and a must for any Cookson fan.
226 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 13, 2017
485 people are currently reading
861 people want to read
About the author
Catherine Cookson
446 books692 followersCatherine Cookson was born in Tyne Dock, the illegitimate daughter of a poverty-stricken woman, Kate, who Catherine believed was her older sister. Catherine began work in service but eventually moved south to Hastings, where she met and married Tom Cookson, a local grammar-school master.
Although she was originally acclaimed as a regional writer - her novel The Round Tower won the Winifred Holtby Award for the best regional novel of 1968 - her readership quickly spread throughout the world, and her many best-selling novels established her as one of the most popular contemporary woman novelist. She received an OBE in 1985, was created a Dame of the British Empire in 1993, and was appointed an Honorary Fellow of St Hilda's College, Oxford, in 1997.
For many years she lived near Newcastle upon Tyne.
Although she was originally acclaimed as a regional writer - her novel The Round Tower won the Winifred Holtby Award for the best regional novel of 1968 - her readership quickly spread throughout the world, and her many best-selling novels established her as one of the most popular contemporary woman novelist. She received an OBE in 1985, was created a Dame of the British Empire in 1993, and was appointed an Honorary Fellow of St Hilda's College, Oxford, in 1997.
For many years she lived near Newcastle upon Tyne.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
August 30, 2021
*3.5 stars *
Oh dear, another review that’s disappeared! 🤔
Oh dear, another review that’s disappeared! 🤔
January 18, 2023
In the eminence of death, only the truth will do.
I came to this book blind, which is to say that I've never read any of Catherine Cookson's novels and haven't read her first autobiography, which was published when she was 50 years old. That must have seemed like a good time to sum up her life. She was a prolific and popular author and much in demand as a speaker. Given her constant, serious ill health, she must have doubted if she would make old bones and wanted to tell her story while she could.
But in spite of her illnesses, she lived another 36 years. At 86, blind and failing, she wrote this second autobiography. She wanted to tell about her life as a middle-aged and elderly woman. More importantly, she wanted to tell the TRUTH about her early life. When her first autobiography appeared in the 1950's, unpleasant realities of life were kept secret. Alcoholism, especially in women, wasn't acknowledged in society. It was accepted that a man's life could be driven by alcohol addiction, but not a woman. Betty Ford (and others) had not yet broken through the barriers to bring the shameful secret into the light.
Cookson says that her first autobiography ("Our Kate") was marred by her unwillingness to tell the stark truth about her mother. In that book, she wrote about a fantasy mother; the one her mother COULD have been had her life not been controlled by alcohol. It was a typical, sanitized 1950's autobiography. By her 80's, she understood the danger of prettying things up. Evils that are glossed over and denied are unworthy of both the writer and the reader. This time, she was going to tell the truth.
Her life was harsh, by any standards. Born illegitimate at a time when society shunned "bastards", raised in poverty, and bedeviled by one serious illness after another, her very survival seems like a miracle. She survived and (eventually) thrived because of her sharp wits and her capacity for hard work. She was a talented artist and for a time in her teens and early twenties, she was able to make a living doing pen-and-ink drawings. That ended when she was diagnosed with lead poisoning from the ink.
One of the few jobs open to women in the 1920's was that of laundress. She was hired to work in the laundry department at a large workhouse - really an institution for the elderly and disabled. She rose to the position of manager and saved enough money to buy a large house.
Taking in boarders added to her income and allowed her to provide jobs for her mother and her frenemy Annie Smith. One of her boarders was a young school teacher named Tom Cookson. Meeting him changed her life permanently and for the better. They continued to be loving partners until her death at the age of 86. Tom was desolate at the loss of his wife and survived her by only a few weeks.
Although her ill health continued, the support and encouragement of her husband gave her the confidence to write. Her stories about working class people became immensely popular. At the time of her death, she was the best-selling author in England. Her success brought them financial security and even some luxury. It's heartwarming to think that this woman who suffered so much was granted some comfort and success in later life.
For all that, it's a strange story. Her tales of her trouble-making mother, her jealous friends, and the things that she suffered at the hands of doctors, landlords, relatives, and others sounds like a modern "Perils of Pauline." Sometimes it seems as if she attached herself to toxic people so that she could be hurt and complain about it. I don't think that was the case. I think she let people take advantage of her and hurt her because she lacked the confidence to push them away or to stand up to them. Growing up friendless, she craved friendship and popularity. Sometimes she bought friendship at a harsh price.
Her touchiness reminds me of friends who are children of alcoholics. Today, we understand the constant uncertainly and fear that comes from growing up with an alcoholic parent. We acknowledge the lasting emotional scars it leaves. Ms. Cookson lived in an era when no one talked about it. She had to find her way as best she could.
It's a gripping book and an eye-opening one. Cookson is remembered for her novels, but she should also be remembered for her tenacity and grit. I'm glad to have the opportunity to get to know this remarkable woman.
I came to this book blind, which is to say that I've never read any of Catherine Cookson's novels and haven't read her first autobiography, which was published when she was 50 years old. That must have seemed like a good time to sum up her life. She was a prolific and popular author and much in demand as a speaker. Given her constant, serious ill health, she must have doubted if she would make old bones and wanted to tell her story while she could.
But in spite of her illnesses, she lived another 36 years. At 86, blind and failing, she wrote this second autobiography. She wanted to tell about her life as a middle-aged and elderly woman. More importantly, she wanted to tell the TRUTH about her early life. When her first autobiography appeared in the 1950's, unpleasant realities of life were kept secret. Alcoholism, especially in women, wasn't acknowledged in society. It was accepted that a man's life could be driven by alcohol addiction, but not a woman. Betty Ford (and others) had not yet broken through the barriers to bring the shameful secret into the light.
Cookson says that her first autobiography ("Our Kate") was marred by her unwillingness to tell the stark truth about her mother. In that book, she wrote about a fantasy mother; the one her mother COULD have been had her life not been controlled by alcohol. It was a typical, sanitized 1950's autobiography. By her 80's, she understood the danger of prettying things up. Evils that are glossed over and denied are unworthy of both the writer and the reader. This time, she was going to tell the truth.
Her life was harsh, by any standards. Born illegitimate at a time when society shunned "bastards", raised in poverty, and bedeviled by one serious illness after another, her very survival seems like a miracle. She survived and (eventually) thrived because of her sharp wits and her capacity for hard work. She was a talented artist and for a time in her teens and early twenties, she was able to make a living doing pen-and-ink drawings. That ended when she was diagnosed with lead poisoning from the ink.
One of the few jobs open to women in the 1920's was that of laundress. She was hired to work in the laundry department at a large workhouse - really an institution for the elderly and disabled. She rose to the position of manager and saved enough money to buy a large house.
Taking in boarders added to her income and allowed her to provide jobs for her mother and her frenemy Annie Smith. One of her boarders was a young school teacher named Tom Cookson. Meeting him changed her life permanently and for the better. They continued to be loving partners until her death at the age of 86. Tom was desolate at the loss of his wife and survived her by only a few weeks.
Although her ill health continued, the support and encouragement of her husband gave her the confidence to write. Her stories about working class people became immensely popular. At the time of her death, she was the best-selling author in England. Her success brought them financial security and even some luxury. It's heartwarming to think that this woman who suffered so much was granted some comfort and success in later life.
For all that, it's a strange story. Her tales of her trouble-making mother, her jealous friends, and the things that she suffered at the hands of doctors, landlords, relatives, and others sounds like a modern "Perils of Pauline." Sometimes it seems as if she attached herself to toxic people so that she could be hurt and complain about it. I don't think that was the case. I think she let people take advantage of her and hurt her because she lacked the confidence to push them away or to stand up to them. Growing up friendless, she craved friendship and popularity. Sometimes she bought friendship at a harsh price.
Her touchiness reminds me of friends who are children of alcoholics. Today, we understand the constant uncertainly and fear that comes from growing up with an alcoholic parent. We acknowledge the lasting emotional scars it leaves. Ms. Cookson lived in an era when no one talked about it. She had to find her way as best she could.
It's a gripping book and an eye-opening one. Cookson is remembered for her novels, but she should also be remembered for her tenacity and grit. I'm glad to have the opportunity to get to know this remarkable woman.
September 27, 2017
Ugh.... dreadful book. I thought I would enjoy reading about the woman who wrote so many of the very entertaining books that I have read over the years. But this work was just an outlet for the elderly author to vent her anger and bitterness at the world 'before I go.' Even if the author truly did suffer as dreadfully as she claims to have done, the book still reads as just one last angry attempt to lash out and to get things off her chest before the end. A miserable book that I could not even make myself finish reading.
October 9, 2017
I have no idea how Catherine managed to write as many books as she did experiencing all the illnesses she did. She had so much to deal with, but did so with courage, determination and the help of her husband, Tom. She wrote (narrated) this not long before she died so that she didn't have regrets about not having her say about life and her experiences of it. This covers aspects of her life in more detail than her early autobiography and reads as though Catherine is having a chat with you. I highly recommend this if you're fan of her books, or if you want to find out more about her.
March 3, 2018
Another win from Goodreads and one I entered in the hope of a surprise for my mom - a big Catherine Cookson fan. Hands up from me - I've never read a book of hers but I am told that they aren't your typical family saga. No reason why only middle aged women should be the only ones to read a particular genre but there are genres that do have audiences of a particular demographic. The majority of Cookson's readers (and there will be many - she was the most borrowed author from British libraries for several decades) will be women.
When I was about ten I was given the responsibility of running the book stall at a fundraising jumble sale at my local chapel. People brought bags of old books as donations and I arranged them and sold them for a few pennies in aid of the church. My mom left me with a little instruction: "If anyone brings 'Our Kate' by Catherine Cookson then put it to one side and I'll put the money in the pot". I was so happy to open almost the first donated lot to find that very book and Mom was just as happy too as she dropped the pennies in the pot. She'll be delighted when she gets this too.
This book follows on from previous biographies and autobiographies (such as 'Our Kate') and is a previously unpublished memoir. To be honest, as my first experience of Cookson I wish it had stayed hidden. Cookson doesn't come across as particularly likeable to me and I feel bad about that.
Catherine Cookson came late to writing. Before then she earned a living through hard work running laundries and as a landlady. During this time she kept patience with her chronic alcoholic mother and was taken advantage of by several people she befriended, some for many decades and well into her years of fame. Cookson knew she was being taken advantage of but, and this is going to sound awful, she does seem to relish the victim state. She had several various serious illnesses and conditions throughout her life that eventually left her blind. She suffered a lifetime of bleeding and there is no doubt suffered long bouts of pain. Coupled with several heartbreaking miscarriages and it seems harsh of me to say she enjoyed relished being a victim but on top of this we hear about her debilitating fear of heights (she cowered on the back seat when driving on mountain roads) and other conditions that, to be honest, aren't really that serious and sometimes one can perhaps understand why several doctors fobbed her off even when she was ill. As well as illness the book also details many, many people who did Mr and Mrs Cookson wrong. In fact, one suspects the memoirs are little more than a black book of hate. The only person who has Cookson's unswerving love and devotion is Tom, her beloved husband. The love appears mutual and together they faced the endless trials like Mr and Mrs Pooter.
The book does touch upon the journey to becoming a famous writer but not enough to make this a book about her career. I am assuming that aspect is covered elsewhere. All told, this is one for the fan who has read everything else - the tagline on the back "A story of talent, good humour and determination" is quite misleading.
When I was about ten I was given the responsibility of running the book stall at a fundraising jumble sale at my local chapel. People brought bags of old books as donations and I arranged them and sold them for a few pennies in aid of the church. My mom left me with a little instruction: "If anyone brings 'Our Kate' by Catherine Cookson then put it to one side and I'll put the money in the pot". I was so happy to open almost the first donated lot to find that very book and Mom was just as happy too as she dropped the pennies in the pot. She'll be delighted when she gets this too.
This book follows on from previous biographies and autobiographies (such as 'Our Kate') and is a previously unpublished memoir. To be honest, as my first experience of Cookson I wish it had stayed hidden. Cookson doesn't come across as particularly likeable to me and I feel bad about that.
Catherine Cookson came late to writing. Before then she earned a living through hard work running laundries and as a landlady. During this time she kept patience with her chronic alcoholic mother and was taken advantage of by several people she befriended, some for many decades and well into her years of fame. Cookson knew she was being taken advantage of but, and this is going to sound awful, she does seem to relish the victim state. She had several various serious illnesses and conditions throughout her life that eventually left her blind. She suffered a lifetime of bleeding and there is no doubt suffered long bouts of pain. Coupled with several heartbreaking miscarriages and it seems harsh of me to say she enjoyed relished being a victim but on top of this we hear about her debilitating fear of heights (she cowered on the back seat when driving on mountain roads) and other conditions that, to be honest, aren't really that serious and sometimes one can perhaps understand why several doctors fobbed her off even when she was ill. As well as illness the book also details many, many people who did Mr and Mrs Cookson wrong. In fact, one suspects the memoirs are little more than a black book of hate. The only person who has Cookson's unswerving love and devotion is Tom, her beloved husband. The love appears mutual and together they faced the endless trials like Mr and Mrs Pooter.
The book does touch upon the journey to becoming a famous writer but not enough to make this a book about her career. I am assuming that aspect is covered elsewhere. All told, this is one for the fan who has read everything else - the tagline on the back "A story of talent, good humour and determination" is quite misleading.
November 7, 2017
I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway. Thank you to Thomas Allen & Son.
I have enjoyed several of Catherine Cookson's novels over the years and when I saw that there was a memoir, I was intrigued to learn more about the author. I quickly learned that this was not the first memoir penned by Cookson. She often makes reference to things in her past, finishing with "but you can read more about that in 'Our Kate'".
This memoir focuses primarily on the health issues Cookson faced throughout her life and the jealousies of the people in her life and how that impacted her. Based on this memoir, you are left with the impression that, except for her husband, there was no one in her life who was kind or supportive. In fact, one friend (and I use the term very loosely) is actually labelled pure evil by the end of the memoir. This particular 'friend' is identified for her manipulative, cruel and bordering on criminal actions. Cookson indicates she knew this for many years, but continued to give way because it was easier. When the 'friend' was cut from her life, it never stuck. Cookson kept allowing her back in. She was either a much more forgiving and kind person than I will ever be, or glutton for punishment.
While I was very sorry to realize the struggles Cookson had in her life and I feel badly for her, I simply couldn't overcome the voice Cookson wrote in. It reminds of someone I once knew who constantly had health issues, but would soldier on - as long as she was able to tell you all about it. Everyone in her life always was jealous or spiteful or mean to her and again, you heard all about it. You felt sorry for her, didn't want to contradict her experience and perceptions, but you just felt like shaking her. I also felt the writing was somewhat disjointed and rambling.
I have enjoyed several of Catherine Cookson's novels over the years and when I saw that there was a memoir, I was intrigued to learn more about the author. I quickly learned that this was not the first memoir penned by Cookson. She often makes reference to things in her past, finishing with "but you can read more about that in 'Our Kate'".
This memoir focuses primarily on the health issues Cookson faced throughout her life and the jealousies of the people in her life and how that impacted her. Based on this memoir, you are left with the impression that, except for her husband, there was no one in her life who was kind or supportive. In fact, one friend (and I use the term very loosely) is actually labelled pure evil by the end of the memoir. This particular 'friend' is identified for her manipulative, cruel and bordering on criminal actions. Cookson indicates she knew this for many years, but continued to give way because it was easier. When the 'friend' was cut from her life, it never stuck. Cookson kept allowing her back in. She was either a much more forgiving and kind person than I will ever be, or glutton for punishment.
While I was very sorry to realize the struggles Cookson had in her life and I feel badly for her, I simply couldn't overcome the voice Cookson wrote in. It reminds of someone I once knew who constantly had health issues, but would soldier on - as long as she was able to tell you all about it. Everyone in her life always was jealous or spiteful or mean to her and again, you heard all about it. You felt sorry for her, didn't want to contradict her experience and perceptions, but you just felt like shaking her. I also felt the writing was somewhat disjointed and rambling.
February 5, 2024
Having read the previous memoirs I thought I'd see if there was anything new here, keeping in mind this was issued after Cookson's death and the author may not have intended it to be published as is. Having lost her sight, she dictated it.
This expands on some things mentioned in the previous autobiographies but rambles in parts. There is a lot about illness, hers and others, and money problems which got wearisome in the repetition. A lot is also said about her good "friend" Nan Smith, who was a bizarre individual, hard to believe someone could really act that hateful at times and that Catherine hung in with her.
Catherine complains a lot about being taken advantage of by many people in various ways, but it sounds like she often had herself to blame. Generosity is a good quality, but she overdid it and should have known better as she got older. Her very nice and saintly husband counseled her to do differently but occasionally enabled it, too.
Cookson's popularity has faded from being the bestselling author in Britain, but several of her 100 books are still in print. She was an interesting and thoughtful person with an unusual life. Her ability to describe her experiences and give them context on very personal levels provides insight into the changed times that evolved during her lifespan. She was surprisingly open about herself, yet several aspects remain unclear.
Later note: I accessed some past articles which said there have been doubts about some things Cookson said about herself, and it's likely she did not reveal certain aspects. There was speculation "masculine." Nan and Catherine had been lovers, which continued even after she met Tom and married him. Catherine said they loved each other as friends but denied they had a sexual relationship. She indicated Nan was jealous of her marriage and spread rumors about the author's supposed checkered past, which Cookson also denied. Some thought Nan's allegations (i.e., the letters) may have contained some truth in that Catherine did have an affair with a married man before and possibly several. I suppose a former lesbian relationship could explain Nan's vindictive behavior and Cookson's odd obligation toward her over the years. In addition, biographer Kathleen Jones (I've not read her book) evidently concludes Catherine was likely sexually abused by the step grandfather and brother and also by her mother, Kate. Jones suggested that may have been the reason for Catherine's hatred of her besides the drinking. If that's true, then no wonder she had mental problems, and any empathy I'd felt toward Kate would be gone. Cookson did not indicate her mother had behaved along those lines, only that the grandfather and brother had often harassed and beat Kate. Cookson's goal was to be open and honest, it seemed, but these things were potentially toxic and nobody's business anyway. I expect these controversies were/are familiar in Britain about their famous author. I wish I'd been aware of the speculations before reading the various memoirs. There appears a certain logic to these theories, but could it have just been salacious stories to generate public interest and sell books after her death? It seems to be working on my curiosities even now. However, if any of this were true, it doesn't diminish the relevancy of the author's rags to riches achievements and put light on the conditions of the poor in the twentieth century. We are left with just Catherine Cookson's word as to how things really happened in her life.
This expands on some things mentioned in the previous autobiographies but rambles in parts. There is a lot about illness, hers and others, and money problems which got wearisome in the repetition. A lot is also said about her good "friend" Nan Smith, who was a bizarre individual, hard to believe someone could really act that hateful at times and that Catherine hung in with her.
Catherine complains a lot about being taken advantage of by many people in various ways, but it sounds like she often had herself to blame. Generosity is a good quality, but she overdid it and should have known better as she got older. Her very nice and saintly husband counseled her to do differently but occasionally enabled it, too.
Cookson's popularity has faded from being the bestselling author in Britain, but several of her 100 books are still in print. She was an interesting and thoughtful person with an unusual life. Her ability to describe her experiences and give them context on very personal levels provides insight into the changed times that evolved during her lifespan. She was surprisingly open about herself, yet several aspects remain unclear.
Later note: I accessed some past articles which said there have been doubts about some things Cookson said about herself, and it's likely she did not reveal certain aspects. There was speculation "masculine." Nan and Catherine had been lovers, which continued even after she met Tom and married him. Catherine said they loved each other as friends but denied they had a sexual relationship. She indicated Nan was jealous of her marriage and spread rumors about the author's supposed checkered past, which Cookson also denied. Some thought Nan's allegations (i.e., the letters) may have contained some truth in that Catherine did have an affair with a married man before and possibly several. I suppose a former lesbian relationship could explain Nan's vindictive behavior and Cookson's odd obligation toward her over the years. In addition, biographer Kathleen Jones (I've not read her book) evidently concludes Catherine was likely sexually abused by the step grandfather and brother and also by her mother, Kate. Jones suggested that may have been the reason for Catherine's hatred of her besides the drinking. If that's true, then no wonder she had mental problems, and any empathy I'd felt toward Kate would be gone. Cookson did not indicate her mother had behaved along those lines, only that the grandfather and brother had often harassed and beat Kate. Cookson's goal was to be open and honest, it seemed, but these things were potentially toxic and nobody's business anyway. I expect these controversies were/are familiar in Britain about their famous author. I wish I'd been aware of the speculations before reading the various memoirs. There appears a certain logic to these theories, but could it have just been salacious stories to generate public interest and sell books after her death? It seems to be working on my curiosities even now. However, if any of this were true, it doesn't diminish the relevancy of the author's rags to riches achievements and put light on the conditions of the poor in the twentieth century. We are left with just Catherine Cookson's word as to how things really happened in her life.
August 14, 2017
Rather surprised by this
Not a reader of Catherine Cookson books but thought this final summary of her life would make interesting reading. What surprised me was where on earth she got the money to buy a fifteen roomed house on a laundry manager's wage. I know she claims to have been thrifty and saved every penny but single women were poorly paid in those days and bank managers not very receptive to the idea of lending money to women. Considering her poor health which appeared to have very serious effects on her ,how on earth did she manage to do such a demanding job ? Is she telling us the whole story here ?
Not a reader of Catherine Cookson books but thought this final summary of her life would make interesting reading. What surprised me was where on earth she got the money to buy a fifteen roomed house on a laundry manager's wage. I know she claims to have been thrifty and saved every penny but single women were poorly paid in those days and bank managers not very receptive to the idea of lending money to women. Considering her poor health which appeared to have very serious effects on her ,how on earth did she manage to do such a demanding job ? Is she telling us the whole story here ?
August 9, 2017
Catherine Cookson’s memoir, “Before I Go,” is delightful to read. She sets the record straight about her personal life, from childhood through to the writing of this autobiography. There are brief references to the previous autobiographies, then she moves on in her narrative. She ponders how “two thirds of every letter I receive tells me of the strength that the reader perceives in me and how it has helped them carry on.” After reading this memoir, I understand what those admirers discovered in their favorite author. That Catherine is indeed a heroine, showing us that we can overcome life’s obstacles to achieve our goals.
As I was reading, I felt like I was an old friend of Catherine’s, over for a cup of afternoon tea, while she related stories of her life “back in the day.”
As I was reading, I felt like I was an old friend of Catherine’s, over for a cup of afternoon tea, while she related stories of her life “back in the day.”
June 23, 2017
A candid story of a rags to riches story of an extremely prolific author - forthright and truthful to the end.
Catherine Cookson's life was hard from the word go. An alcoholic mother who played on the child's emotions, a friend who played her out ruthlessly not just whilst living but even after she was dead (keeping letters in a place where she knew it will be found and hoping that it will hurt and destroy her marriage) and the worst of it all undiagnosed illnesses which would have killed off a less strong willed person.
The illness alone was enough for a biography. It was continuous and Catherine Cookson talks about it so matter of factly it is unbelievable. Even depression after bouts of miscarriages did not mar her spirit, and the jealousy of peers and those around her at her literary success did not affect her generosity of mind. The enduring love and support of her husband is the beacon of light in this story and it shines throughout.
This book was discovered after her death and its publication is a wonderful story of a very brave woman who fought astounding odds to gain the literary position she did.
Catherine Cookson's life was hard from the word go. An alcoholic mother who played on the child's emotions, a friend who played her out ruthlessly not just whilst living but even after she was dead (keeping letters in a place where she knew it will be found and hoping that it will hurt and destroy her marriage) and the worst of it all undiagnosed illnesses which would have killed off a less strong willed person.
The illness alone was enough for a biography. It was continuous and Catherine Cookson talks about it so matter of factly it is unbelievable. Even depression after bouts of miscarriages did not mar her spirit, and the jealousy of peers and those around her at her literary success did not affect her generosity of mind. The enduring love and support of her husband is the beacon of light in this story and it shines throughout.
This book was discovered after her death and its publication is a wonderful story of a very brave woman who fought astounding odds to gain the literary position she did.
September 6, 2021
I'm definitely going to write a review for this one. Sad that her last writing depicted her so poorly.
August 30, 2017
I had never enjoyed Cookson's novels - I found they made me depressed. Reading this memoir I understand why! Not only did she have a terrible life, with chronic illness and rejection for being illegitimate, but she comes across as an incredibly bitter woman, and at the same time, very naive. Not a good combination really.
August 22, 2020
At some point one has to wonder...are all the Doctors wrong...are all the people who ‘wronged’ me bad, or do I have some small role in the drama? The author never has this realization after 90+ years....
November 14, 2017
This is my first encounter with Mrs. Cookson in her writing. What a world of writing she immersed herself in out of the melee! The book is one of her post mortem work discovered by her estate with the other unpublished novel, and I can see Mrs. Cookson must have intended to have this memoir published after she’s long gone because of the self-evident title of “Before I go”. This book is filled with her innermost feelings towards her family – her mother whom she called “Our Kate” and her dearest husband Tom and the people who entered her life, such as Nan Smith, the various doctors who attended to her lifelong health frailty, and her faith as a doubting Catholic. As an illegitimate child of a unwed mother from a poverty-stricken family, Mrs. Cookson however did not yield herself to the the bare necessities of life as it demanded;
Mrs. Cookson was a true example of a triumph of will and hope over experience and condition. Working as a manageress in a laundry, the author did not resign herself to the complacency of her social class. Instead, she raised herself above the hubbub of life and arrived as a fine writer who wrote about people whom the readers could relate to based upon her experiences. Also, her Catholic faith, which she had been fighting with reason to n o avail, was the bedrock of her character and shaped the way she looked at the world around her. For it was her faith to which she held on in times of trouble from which her compassion and pity, and forgiveness sprang.
What I liked about Mrs. Cookson was her feistiness and pride which distinguished her from her peers and people of similar social origins. Also, Mrs. Cookson still retained her charitable nature although she often lamented about such qualities for the heartaches she received from inappreciation thereof.
Reader will be able to read the mind and heart of this fine and very human writer. It’s not about her lifelong health problems of nose-bleeding, 8 miscarriages, and a peripheral vision by advanced age; this memoir is about Mrs. Cookson’s resilient spirit that enabled her to rise above the planes of biological hindrance and societal prejudices.
Mrs. Cookson was a true example of a triumph of will and hope over experience and condition. Working as a manageress in a laundry, the author did not resign herself to the complacency of her social class. Instead, she raised herself above the hubbub of life and arrived as a fine writer who wrote about people whom the readers could relate to based upon her experiences. Also, her Catholic faith, which she had been fighting with reason to n o avail, was the bedrock of her character and shaped the way she looked at the world around her. For it was her faith to which she held on in times of trouble from which her compassion and pity, and forgiveness sprang.
What I liked about Mrs. Cookson was her feistiness and pride which distinguished her from her peers and people of similar social origins. Also, Mrs. Cookson still retained her charitable nature although she often lamented about such qualities for the heartaches she received from inappreciation thereof.
Reader will be able to read the mind and heart of this fine and very human writer. It’s not about her lifelong health problems of nose-bleeding, 8 miscarriages, and a peripheral vision by advanced age; this memoir is about Mrs. Cookson’s resilient spirit that enabled her to rise above the planes of biological hindrance and societal prejudices.
December 2, 2017
Not until I read Cookson's last memoir 'Before I Go' did I realise the full extent of this remarkable writer and all she had endured and struggled to overcome in her long eventful life. This is an honest insightful account of her origin and the early years, the great love she shared with her supportive husband Tom, school teacher and courageous RAF officer during the war years, the ill health endured as the result of the inherited blood disease and the family jealousy, spite and betrayals, never allowing any of them to dent her generous indomitable spirit. Despite it all she persevered writing over 100 books with true genius, using similar themes but with endlessly different variations. Much loved she sold millions and topped the libraries favourite, most read books for years. In my time I read and enjoyed many of her books , my favourite, the epic 'A Dinner of Herbs' the title taken from the biblical saying 'Better a dinner of herbs taken with love than a banquet with hate' her books 'Our Kate' written about her relationship with her mother whom she believed until she was seven to be her sister and the fictional character 'Kate Hannigan's Daughter' are the most autobiographical of her works. But every book she wrote held the seeds of her own experience growing up in the Tyneside. Not until I read ' Before I go' did I come to fully appreciate the wonder of this remarkable writer whose life and works were humorous at times, always insightful and rich in characters and above all, a triumph of the human spirit over the trials and obstacles encountered along the way. A must read.
August 11, 2017
I received this book free from Good Reads.
I have a few questions about this book, which will obviously never be answered.
It seems a bit like the programme about Princess Diana, which has just been on the TV & raised a lot of differing opinions.
As this was found in her attic, did she really want it to be published?? If not should it have been published?? It seems that some of the people that she wrote about, would not have been very pleased, with some of the things that she said about them.
Nevertheless it has been published. It seems to give her private opinions on things & people, that I do not really think she would have wanted to be see. To me these were her personal thoughts, not for anyone else to read, but just offloading her thoughts.
From a medical point of view, what a lot of illnesses she had. I must admit, I have never heard of the inherited disease known as telangiectasia, but this sounds bad enough, without all the other things she had to suffer.
To me she seems to spend too much time dwelling on the negative side of things & not enough on the positive. But I think most people do that, so that is not unusual.
The positive things from her life to me, are her great love she had for her husband & he for her, & that despite everything, she became a great author & survived to a ripe old age.
I have a few questions about this book, which will obviously never be answered.
It seems a bit like the programme about Princess Diana, which has just been on the TV & raised a lot of differing opinions.
As this was found in her attic, did she really want it to be published?? If not should it have been published?? It seems that some of the people that she wrote about, would not have been very pleased, with some of the things that she said about them.
Nevertheless it has been published. It seems to give her private opinions on things & people, that I do not really think she would have wanted to be see. To me these were her personal thoughts, not for anyone else to read, but just offloading her thoughts.
From a medical point of view, what a lot of illnesses she had. I must admit, I have never heard of the inherited disease known as telangiectasia, but this sounds bad enough, without all the other things she had to suffer.
To me she seems to spend too much time dwelling on the negative side of things & not enough on the positive. But I think most people do that, so that is not unusual.
The positive things from her life to me, are her great love she had for her husband & he for her, & that despite everything, she became a great author & survived to a ripe old age.
May 28, 2018
An insight of Catherine Collison which took me by surprise
I always imagined she lived in Newcastle so I was surprised to learn it was only in her latter years she lived there. I was sorry to read of her health issues and the inferior medical care she received but glad she finally got the treatment she deserved though having to pay for it privately. All in all aside from having a wonderful husband who adored her I don,t think her life was very happy I reckon she diverted her attention into property when I expect she would have preferred to focus on the children she never had. For some reason I was disappointed with this book or perhaps it was the character Catherine Collison was. I did learn of her life but it wasn't, at all how I imagined it. Perhaps she could be regarded as an introvert probably because of her accident of birth. Worth reading if you are a fan otherwise you might be a bit bored.
I always imagined she lived in Newcastle so I was surprised to learn it was only in her latter years she lived there. I was sorry to read of her health issues and the inferior medical care she received but glad she finally got the treatment she deserved though having to pay for it privately. All in all aside from having a wonderful husband who adored her I don,t think her life was very happy I reckon she diverted her attention into property when I expect she would have preferred to focus on the children she never had. For some reason I was disappointed with this book or perhaps it was the character Catherine Collison was. I did learn of her life but it wasn't, at all how I imagined it. Perhaps she could be regarded as an introvert probably because of her accident of birth. Worth reading if you are a fan otherwise you might be a bit bored.
November 6, 2021
Catherine Cookson was my mother’s favourite author and I thought my mother had a hard life dying at the age of 49. However, Catherine suffered for most of her life and was able to overcome and achieve so much with her loyal husband by her side. After reading/listening to this autobiography it makes me grateful for my own health and appreciate life in a new light.
I was hoping to find out more about her challenges in developing her writing and painting but I guess that she covered that in her earlier autobiographies.
I was hoping to find out more about her challenges in developing her writing and painting but I guess that she covered that in her earlier autobiographies.
October 13, 2017
Although I'm not a Catherine Cookson reader I was intrigued by the idea of the story of Catherine's life entirely through her own lives.
To live with so many illnesses, and how Catherine was treated so badly by doctors that she began to think it was normal.
A whole lifetime of happiness with her husband, success with her writing and strength she found to survive through it all is admirable.
A highly recommended true story.
I received this book as part of the Goodreads giveaway.
To live with so many illnesses, and how Catherine was treated so badly by doctors that she began to think it was normal.
A whole lifetime of happiness with her husband, success with her writing and strength she found to survive through it all is admirable.
A highly recommended true story.
I received this book as part of the Goodreads giveaway.
July 27, 2021
Enjoyable reading
It was interesting and enjoyable to read about Catherine Cookson’s life. I didn’t know that she had that severe medical condition and how it impacted her life. I have always enjoyed reading books written by Catherine Cookson and often feel that I am in the places she writes about. It’s great to see someone overcome adversity the way she did. I also didn’t know a lot about her early life.
It was interesting and enjoyable to read about Catherine Cookson’s life. I didn’t know that she had that severe medical condition and how it impacted her life. I have always enjoyed reading books written by Catherine Cookson and often feel that I am in the places she writes about. It’s great to see someone overcome adversity the way she did. I also didn’t know a lot about her early life.
August 27, 2019
I just can't imagine Catherine Cookson writing as many books as she did during all her illnesses. I had no idea her life had been like that. All the searching for a doctor who could help her and so many brushoffs. She was and is a very courageous lady, and her husband is one in a million for all the support he gave her. Theirs is truly a beautiful love story.
July 5, 2021
I read many Catherine Cookson novels in my late teens and early twenties but haven't in many years. Was trying to find a good read for an elderly friend and thought of Cookson, and saw this title and read it myself. I understand it was published posthumously and I can't help wondering if she would have been unhappy about that.
July 3, 2017
An interesting look at one of my favorite authors of all time, Catherine Cookson. I definitely think this is worth a read for her fans. I learned so many things about her private life that I had never known before.
October 4, 2017
Memoirs
I've enjoyed reading this and finding out just how much she suffered throughout her life, she has my complete admiration. I have all her books and after reading this one I'm even more in awe wondering how she managed.
I've enjoyed reading this and finding out just how much she suffered throughout her life, she has my complete admiration. I have all her books and after reading this one I'm even more in awe wondering how she managed.
August 10, 2017
What could be better than an unpublished memoir from one of your most favourite authors? I couldn't put Before I Go, down. There is a reason Catherine Cookson was one of my favourite writers, and this memoir is one of those reasons.
September 8, 2017
I received this book as a Good Reads Giveaway. I really enjoyed reading Catherine's account of her own life. It explains much of why the hard knocks she faced in her own life were the basis of many of her novels in later years.
December 15, 2017
Autobiography
An interesting insight into the authors life and love. Very sad to understand her continued ill health throughout her life but from this her strength and undying love for her husband Tom shines through.
An interesting insight into the authors life and love. Very sad to understand her continued ill health throughout her life but from this her strength and undying love for her husband Tom shines through.
February 25, 2018
Excellent and a pleasure to read as all her books are.an amazing author
Beautifully written and a pleasure to read.liking forward to reading more of her books and pleased i can get them on my kindle.
Beautifully written and a pleasure to read.liking forward to reading more of her books and pleased i can get them on my kindle.
January 5, 2019
Lovely
Now I am looking forward to reading Catherine's works. I enjoyed her attitude towards life, her work ethic, her vulnerability, honesty, humor, and appreciation of those who loved and cared for her.
Now I am looking forward to reading Catherine's works. I enjoyed her attitude towards life, her work ethic, her vulnerability, honesty, humor, and appreciation of those who loved and cared for her.
Read
October 30, 2019I bought this on a whim ... an ebook bargain. It's kind of bits and pieces of a memoir. Cookson, a prolific British novelist, had a lot of personal and health challenges to overcome. I liked her writing and admired her resilience.
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