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A Guide to Gender: The Social Justice Advocate's Handbook
The first edition was featured as #1 best-seller in Gender on Amazon, and is being used by gender studies & sociology professors on 3 continents. Now with a new foreword by the author, brand new chapters, fixed tpyos, and more gender!
100% of royalties from this edition go directly to hues, a global justice collective.
Where do we start, when it comes to learning about something that's everywhere, infused into everything, and is often one of the primary lenses through which we see ourselves and others? When it comes to understanding gender, it's best to begin with deep breath, then with section one of this book by social justice advocate Sam Killermann, who uses clear language, helpful examples, and a bit of humor to help the medicine go down.
This book is not overwhelming, it's not overly complicated, and it's not exhausting to read. It is a few hundred pages of gender exploration, social justice how-tos, practical resources, and fun graphics & comics. Sam dissects gender using a comprehensive, non-binary toolkit, with a focus on making this subject accessible and enjoyable. All this to help you understand something that is so commonly misunderstood, but something we all think we gender.
A Guide to Gender is broken into four
Basic Training (which sets the foundation of knowledge for the book, defining concepts of social justice, oppression, privilege, and more); Breaking through the Binary (beginning with a discussion of gender norms, and working toward a more nuanced understanding of gender identity, gender expression, and sex); Feminism & Gender Equity (how feminism can be a solution to the injustices folks of all genders face); and Social Justice Competence (a series of short, practical lessons that will help readers put the learning from the book to work). It's written for people who want to learn for themselves, educators who are hoping to better communicate themes of gender to others, and activists who want to add a gender equity lens to their vision of justice.
It's not meant to be the end of one's journey into understanding gender, but a great place to start. Because gender is something we all deserve to understand.
100% of royalties from this edition go directly to hues, a global justice collective.
Where do we start, when it comes to learning about something that's everywhere, infused into everything, and is often one of the primary lenses through which we see ourselves and others? When it comes to understanding gender, it's best to begin with deep breath, then with section one of this book by social justice advocate Sam Killermann, who uses clear language, helpful examples, and a bit of humor to help the medicine go down.
This book is not overwhelming, it's not overly complicated, and it's not exhausting to read. It is a few hundred pages of gender exploration, social justice how-tos, practical resources, and fun graphics & comics. Sam dissects gender using a comprehensive, non-binary toolkit, with a focus on making this subject accessible and enjoyable. All this to help you understand something that is so commonly misunderstood, but something we all think we gender.
A Guide to Gender is broken into four
Basic Training (which sets the foundation of knowledge for the book, defining concepts of social justice, oppression, privilege, and more); Breaking through the Binary (beginning with a discussion of gender norms, and working toward a more nuanced understanding of gender identity, gender expression, and sex); Feminism & Gender Equity (how feminism can be a solution to the injustices folks of all genders face); and Social Justice Competence (a series of short, practical lessons that will help readers put the learning from the book to work). It's written for people who want to learn for themselves, educators who are hoping to better communicate themes of gender to others, and activists who want to add a gender equity lens to their vision of justice.
It's not meant to be the end of one's journey into understanding gender, but a great place to start. Because gender is something we all deserve to understand.
315 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 4, 2013
232 people are currently reading
1073 people want to read
About the author
Sam Killermann
3 books36 followersSam Killermann is a multi-disciplinary artist who puts his gifts to work to achieve global justice as the Director of Creativity for hues. Sam is also the person behind It’s Pronounced Metrosexual, the comedy show performed at colleges and universities, as well as the online resource, which has educated millions of readers on themes of social justice, gender, and sexuality.
Sam’s work (that he uncopyrighted in 2013) has been downloaded by hundreds of millions of people around the world who utilize it to bolster their educational and advocacy efforts toward equity. His version of the Genderbread Person, a model for understanding and teaching gender and sexual diversity, has been translated into over a dozen languages.
In 2014, Sam designed an all-gender restroom sign that he gifted to the commons, which is now being implemented on three continents, is featured in the White House, and is becoming the standard for dozens of communities around the U.S. and world.
Sam is the author of A Guide to Gender, which is an exploration of gender from a social justice perspective, with humor and comics sprinkled in. The book opened as the #1 bestseller in gender on Amazon, and as a reflection of Sam’s commitment to access as a core social justice value, he’s given away over 10,000 copies of the book. He gave a well-received TEDxTalk that has over 200,000 views called “Understanding the Complexities of Gender,” where he distilled the themes of the book into a few minutes of fun, energetic, and easily-digestible speech.
Sam is the co-creator of TheSafeZoneProject.com, a free online resource for LGBTQ and Ally training materials. The open source curriculum they published is being used by over ten thousand educators in at least 100 countries.
Outside of his key initiatives, Sam is a frequent keynote speaker, serves on the Board of Directors for Healthy Teen Network, is the comedy half of S.E.X., head elf at Socially Just Cards, and is always dreaming up new social good projects. When he’s not on the road, he likes to spend at least a few hours a day bicycling around sunny Austin, TX, where he counts himself lucky to live.
Sam’s work (that he uncopyrighted in 2013) has been downloaded by hundreds of millions of people around the world who utilize it to bolster their educational and advocacy efforts toward equity. His version of the Genderbread Person, a model for understanding and teaching gender and sexual diversity, has been translated into over a dozen languages.
In 2014, Sam designed an all-gender restroom sign that he gifted to the commons, which is now being implemented on three continents, is featured in the White House, and is becoming the standard for dozens of communities around the U.S. and world.
Sam is the author of A Guide to Gender, which is an exploration of gender from a social justice perspective, with humor and comics sprinkled in. The book opened as the #1 bestseller in gender on Amazon, and as a reflection of Sam’s commitment to access as a core social justice value, he’s given away over 10,000 copies of the book. He gave a well-received TEDxTalk that has over 200,000 views called “Understanding the Complexities of Gender,” where he distilled the themes of the book into a few minutes of fun, energetic, and easily-digestible speech.
Sam is the co-creator of TheSafeZoneProject.com, a free online resource for LGBTQ and Ally training materials. The open source curriculum they published is being used by over ten thousand educators in at least 100 countries.
Outside of his key initiatives, Sam is a frequent keynote speaker, serves on the Board of Directors for Healthy Teen Network, is the comedy half of S.E.X., head elf at Socially Just Cards, and is always dreaming up new social good projects. When he’s not on the road, he likes to spend at least a few hours a day bicycling around sunny Austin, TX, where he counts himself lucky to live.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
March 8, 2017
Wow, I learned a lot from this book. After the upsetting controversy at our high school last year over the rights of trans youth, I wanted to educate myself about the topic. This book is the text for a class I'm taking, and it is informative in a way that reads easily and entertainingly. The only thing stopping it from being 5 stars for me is the fact that there were little typos and weird editing issues. It's the English teacher in me; I can't help it.
One of the main things I took away from the book was the idea of being Politically Correct. Being Politically correct, according to the author, is externally driven and has to do with how we want others to see us. Instead, being Inclusive is internally driven and has to do with how we want to treat others. I love that distinction. I want to be Inclusive.
Just the vocabulary section at the end of this book was an education in itself. I feel like I understand terms I'd seen or heard but was embarrassed to ask about because I didn't want to reveal my ignorance. I'm glad I know more now, and I know that knowing is the first part of the battle.
One of the main things I took away from the book was the idea of being Politically Correct. Being Politically correct, according to the author, is externally driven and has to do with how we want others to see us. Instead, being Inclusive is internally driven and has to do with how we want to treat others. I love that distinction. I want to be Inclusive.
Just the vocabulary section at the end of this book was an education in itself. I feel like I understand terms I'd seen or heard but was embarrassed to ask about because I didn't want to reveal my ignorance. I'm glad I know more now, and I know that knowing is the first part of the battle.
August 17, 2017
A well-intentioned book and most of the basic seem OK to me, but it was clear that the intended reader of this book was not me. While speaking about being inclusive to queer folks, the writer assumed that the reader of this book is cis and probably also straight. It in no way addressed the issue one might have of "becoming a social justice advocator" if one belongs to the group for whose rights one is fighting for. Being part of a minority group potentially makes one more sensitive to bigoted language, for example, and I think it also justifies the anger one might feel when someone calls you a derogatory term. In these kinds of situations, I think rules like "don't get angry" and "always be nice", are somewhat condescending, and clearly spoken from an ally's point of view.
Also, binary trans people are binary. And not all binary trans people would like to have the option of checking a "trans woman" or "trans man" box on a form, it might make them feel like they have to out themselves or lie. And the asterisk in trans* has had many more arguments made against it that those the author includes in his short chapter on the critique of its use. I'm not an expert and have read very little of it, but when writing a book about something and adopting a newish way of writing a word in the book, I think one should thoroughly research the critique made against it.
The style of humor used by the author also irritated me, but I'm trying to not let that affect my review _too_ much.
Also, binary trans people are binary. And not all binary trans people would like to have the option of checking a "trans woman" or "trans man" box on a form, it might make them feel like they have to out themselves or lie. And the asterisk in trans* has had many more arguments made against it that those the author includes in his short chapter on the critique of its use. I'm not an expert and have read very little of it, but when writing a book about something and adopting a newish way of writing a word in the book, I think one should thoroughly research the critique made against it.
The style of humor used by the author also irritated me, but I'm trying to not let that affect my review _too_ much.
November 4, 2019
Average. It reads like a freaking blog post.
January 24, 2021
The book not only addresses working for social justice for transgender and gender diverse persons (TGNC), but gender in general, and how there are social norms and roles connected with them. These are said to be used to determined where are own gender identities lay. Sam Killermann first section “Basic Training” covers the basics of social justice in general. The next “Breaking through the Binary” covers gender in all its various modes. He differentiates gender identity, gender expression, anatomical [biological] sex, and sexual orientation trough his graphic gingerbread person. In this section he continues to build on and enhance this model. Following this section is one on feminism and gender equity. The final section is on social justice competence. It includes an interesting view on political correctness (PC) with an alternate to it that still addresses the issues PC is concerned with. In this section is also a good argument for sharing pronouns in introductions and salutations in oral and written communications. After a conclusion there are a number of appendixes including a glossary and an argument for the usage of Trans* as an inclusive term for TGNC.
The following are comments on specific pieces of the text based on notes that I made while reading the book. Numbers in brackets [] indicate page numbers using Kindle pagination.
[13] “First things first: I promise I’m done with the military references, but you should admit it was fun for that first chapter. Admit it, soldier!” No, they were stupid!
[22] “Do you think it’s possible for us to achieve social justice?” He asks for a “yes or no” answer. However, I find it to be yes in that it is not inherently impossible, but no because it seems out of reach. But, I have to add that it shouldn’t matter because if we don’t try it will be a definite no.
[26] “An example of oppression would be a law that allows organizations to legally deny transgender people employment solely because of their gender identity . . .” The Supreme Court has since ruled that it is not legal to discriminate against someone because of gender identity in employment according to title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Justice Gorsuch argued that it uses sex as a criteria to discriminate against a person’s gender identity. And, Biden has now sign an executive order affirming this decision
[42] “Privilege is not something you choose to receive or dismiss. It is automatically granted to you based on your identity, and it informs the ways individuals and groups interact with and view you.” You can choose to be privileged. I feel privilege to be a transgender woman. I am part of a small but unique group of individuals.
[91] “What about folks who are asexual? Or mostly asexual? Or hypersexual?” Or self-sexual?
[104] “Gender is a relative, social construction that varies extremely widely among humans.” Now if we identify with the genders available to us via our cultures, but gender identity is suppose to be innate, than the two notions don’t seem to jive.
[153] “For some people who are trans*, gender confirmation surgery (GCS)[33] or hormone therapy are medical interventions that can allow their minds to align with their bodies in a way they’ve never experienced, a way that most cisgender people take for granted.” Fine, but I prefer “gender affirming surgery” as I need no confirmation of my gender, but having the genitals that fit with my gender would be affirming.
[154] “If you’re not onboard with this analogy, allow me to quote one of our era’s great neuroscientists, Morpheus, who said simply ‘The body cannot live without the mind.’” It is really the brain as the mind is a philosophical construction, just as much as gender is a social construction. Than again maybe not, there must be something in the brain for these social constructs to affect. However, I have no issue with calling gender expectations social constructs, seeing how different times and cultures have differing gender expectations. But, I do not see gender itself as being social constructed.
[260] In the glossary is this definition of transgender as “A person who lives as a member of a gender other than that assigned at birth based on anatomical sex.” First, how can a person be an adjective (he labels the word so). Second, being a transgender person is not determined by how you live or even express your gender. Being a transgender person is to have an internal gender identity that does not match with the sex they were assigned at birth. I am surprised by this definition as it doesn’t jive with what he wrote in the body of the text.
Despite some of my critical comments I did think the book made it’s basic point. The genderbread person, however, seemed unnecessarily connected with his “-ness” way of looking at at the individual parts, which is how much do you identify with each of the parts. But the two views do not need to be connected while both are still valid. But, that gender is an important part of social justice is spot on. He makes a good argument for the exchange of pronouns and the use of trans* as an inclusive term for referring to TGNC.
If you are interested in issues concerning gender identity and/or social justice I think it is worth your while to read this book. There are in my opinion some excellent ways of combing the two therein. If you are wanting to even understand the ins and outs of gender identity, especially the trans* portion of the gender world it is not a bad read either.
The following are comments on specific pieces of the text based on notes that I made while reading the book. Numbers in brackets [] indicate page numbers using Kindle pagination.
[13] “First things first: I promise I’m done with the military references, but you should admit it was fun for that first chapter. Admit it, soldier!” No, they were stupid!
[22] “Do you think it’s possible for us to achieve social justice?” He asks for a “yes or no” answer. However, I find it to be yes in that it is not inherently impossible, but no because it seems out of reach. But, I have to add that it shouldn’t matter because if we don’t try it will be a definite no.
[26] “An example of oppression would be a law that allows organizations to legally deny transgender people employment solely because of their gender identity . . .” The Supreme Court has since ruled that it is not legal to discriminate against someone because of gender identity in employment according to title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Justice Gorsuch argued that it uses sex as a criteria to discriminate against a person’s gender identity. And, Biden has now sign an executive order affirming this decision
[42] “Privilege is not something you choose to receive or dismiss. It is automatically granted to you based on your identity, and it informs the ways individuals and groups interact with and view you.” You can choose to be privileged. I feel privilege to be a transgender woman. I am part of a small but unique group of individuals.
[91] “What about folks who are asexual? Or mostly asexual? Or hypersexual?” Or self-sexual?
[104] “Gender is a relative, social construction that varies extremely widely among humans.” Now if we identify with the genders available to us via our cultures, but gender identity is suppose to be innate, than the two notions don’t seem to jive.
[153] “For some people who are trans*, gender confirmation surgery (GCS)[33] or hormone therapy are medical interventions that can allow their minds to align with their bodies in a way they’ve never experienced, a way that most cisgender people take for granted.” Fine, but I prefer “gender affirming surgery” as I need no confirmation of my gender, but having the genitals that fit with my gender would be affirming.
[154] “If you’re not onboard with this analogy, allow me to quote one of our era’s great neuroscientists, Morpheus, who said simply ‘The body cannot live without the mind.’” It is really the brain as the mind is a philosophical construction, just as much as gender is a social construction. Than again maybe not, there must be something in the brain for these social constructs to affect. However, I have no issue with calling gender expectations social constructs, seeing how different times and cultures have differing gender expectations. But, I do not see gender itself as being social constructed.
[260] In the glossary is this definition of transgender as “A person who lives as a member of a gender other than that assigned at birth based on anatomical sex.” First, how can a person be an adjective (he labels the word so). Second, being a transgender person is not determined by how you live or even express your gender. Being a transgender person is to have an internal gender identity that does not match with the sex they were assigned at birth. I am surprised by this definition as it doesn’t jive with what he wrote in the body of the text.
Despite some of my critical comments I did think the book made it’s basic point. The genderbread person, however, seemed unnecessarily connected with his “-ness” way of looking at at the individual parts, which is how much do you identify with each of the parts. But the two views do not need to be connected while both are still valid. But, that gender is an important part of social justice is spot on. He makes a good argument for the exchange of pronouns and the use of trans* as an inclusive term for referring to TGNC.
If you are interested in issues concerning gender identity and/or social justice I think it is worth your while to read this book. There are in my opinion some excellent ways of combing the two therein. If you are wanting to even understand the ins and outs of gender identity, especially the trans* portion of the gender world it is not a bad read either.
October 17, 2015
I originally rated the book a four, but after thinking about who I would recommend it to, I had to drop it. While the information in it was very useful, easy to read and understand, the style was just so annoying, I couldn't ask anyone already skeptical about gender issues to read it seriously. It was written very much like a blog post, with the same sort of humor (ex. a fake editor's note and then "Tricked you! I am the editor, sillies." which also, the kindle unlimited version had quite a few errors again but I've learned to expect this.) I loved the commentary on The Golden Rule and will definitely be explaining the Platinum Rule to people from here on out. The graphics and comics were very cute as well, but are easier to share through the internet anyway so I would more likely refer someone to his blog than this book.
Other reasons for that being, I had a slight hesitation throughout reading why a self-identified heterosexual cisgender white man would feel that he was the most appropriate person to write this book, especially when he continually used gendered language to address the reader and wrote all slurs out in full with no warning (sorry, you don't even get to type the n-word if you're white). Especially because he spent an entire chapter on normalizing use of the word "partner" and an appendix on his use of the asterisk in trans*. But the mackdaddy of it all was the entire ridiculous chapter where Killermann talked about the mean feminists who once called him a misogynist and were WRONG, and how all of womankind is lucky that he was able to rebound from this incident and still find it in himself not to hate women; more than that, he has written this chapter to tell them all how to be better feminists and not make other men hate them. After that chapter (22), I admit, I read with a much more critical eye. There were still some good definitions in here and I highlighted some very quotable sections. It's pretty annoying that I feel like a bitter feminist finding something to be upset about with everything, though.
Other reasons for that being, I had a slight hesitation throughout reading why a self-identified heterosexual cisgender white man would feel that he was the most appropriate person to write this book, especially when he continually used gendered language to address the reader and wrote all slurs out in full with no warning (sorry, you don't even get to type the n-word if you're white). Especially because he spent an entire chapter on normalizing use of the word "partner" and an appendix on his use of the asterisk in trans*. But the mackdaddy of it all was the entire ridiculous chapter where Killermann talked about the mean feminists who once called him a misogynist and were WRONG, and how all of womankind is lucky that he was able to rebound from this incident and still find it in himself not to hate women; more than that, he has written this chapter to tell them all how to be better feminists and not make other men hate them. After that chapter (22), I admit, I read with a much more critical eye. There were still some good definitions in here and I highlighted some very quotable sections. It's pretty annoying that I feel like a bitter feminist finding something to be upset about with everything, though.
March 3, 2014
Available as a free ebook, so no reason not to pick up a copy. Worth reading for the discussion of the fallacies of The Golden Rule alone - Killermann suggest replacing "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" with the more thoughtful "do unto others as they would have you do to them" and his logic is impeccable; he challenged (and improved!) one of the basic principles I've always followed.
But the book really shines when it leads you through understanding of gender and especially how people who don't conform to the male/female gender binary see themselves in the world. It's eye-opening and will change your perspective in a healthy way for yourself and the people around you.
But the book really shines when it leads you through understanding of gender and especially how people who don't conform to the male/female gender binary see themselves in the world. It's eye-opening and will change your perspective in a healthy way for yourself and the people around you.
March 14, 2017
As part of what seems to be the target audience (cisgender and/or straight people), I found this an informative breakdown of and introduction to gender issues. It did strike me as something that might be better suited to teen readers and students than adults, mostly owing to the simple explanations, the included exercises, and the light tone. At times, though, the light tone was just too light, and I found myself wanting more information with far fewer jokes. (Note: I received a copy of this for free through a Goodreads giveaway.)
October 23, 2019
I have been a fan of the genderbread person for years, I even used it in my first publication on Queerbaiting & Harry Potter (thanks for allowing that Sam), and I finally got to read this handbook in print. I don't think that queer studies has to be difficult (sorry Judith Butler) or super dry, and this Guide to Gender proves that: it's funny, easy to understand while forcing you to re-evaluate your inner convinctions or your privilege.
It's actually a handbook that is making you think while being super informative but never boring. It's my Go-To when trying to find a short and comprehensive definition or if I want to read up on a specific discussion. Of course we still need to work on Judith Butler, but as an introduction this book is really well done.
Five Stars!
It's actually a handbook that is making you think while being super informative but never boring. It's my Go-To when trying to find a short and comprehensive definition or if I want to read up on a specific discussion. Of course we still need to work on Judith Butler, but as an introduction this book is really well done.
Five Stars!
January 15, 2021
O livro é educativo no que se refere a questão de gênero, principalmente para quem ainda tem um conhecimento raso sobre o assunto. Senti que o autor tenta ser engraçado durante o livro inteiro e, apesar de ter dado algumas risadas, não acredito que a pauta do livro deva ser tratada de maneira tão leviana - muitas vezes o assunto principal era ofuscado por isso.
Confesso que pulei o capítulo inteiro sobre feminismo depois de ler as primeiras dez páginas, em que o autor critica mulheres por terem o chamado de misógino e explica porque a visão dele, homem cis, de feminismo, é melhor 🙄. Depois disso, comecei a ler com outro olhar e passei a me perguntar se um livro que trata, em sua maioria, da comunidade genderqueer e da opressão de gênero deveria ter sido escrito por um homem cis.
Confesso que pulei o capítulo inteiro sobre feminismo depois de ler as primeiras dez páginas, em que o autor critica mulheres por terem o chamado de misógino e explica porque a visão dele, homem cis, de feminismo, é melhor 🙄. Depois disso, comecei a ler com outro olhar e passei a me perguntar se um livro que trata, em sua maioria, da comunidade genderqueer e da opressão de gênero deveria ter sido escrito por um homem cis.
May 20, 2021
This is a detailed book with a lot of material that makes you think. My students took issue with someone who is cis gender talking about social justice of folks who happen to be sexual minority folks. We did have a good discussion about voices and perspectives.
October 11, 2020
Enjoyable, understandable book about gender. Though often on the simpler side of explanation, I learned more than I already knew, that's for sure. I'd recommend to anyone curious about gender, trans* rights, and how to be a better ally and advocate.
September 22, 2017
This is the first non-fiction book I've read in a while.
For people reading, PLEASE NOTE THERE IS A 2ND EDITION OF THIS BOOK NOW. If you're thinking "Holy fuck, this has changed. Why is this in here?" Well, guess what? This version came out in 2013, so just calm yo ass down.
First of all, I'd love to be Sam Killermann's friend (also...this WHOLE TIME I thought he was a girl. I honest to God have no idea why. Is it that hard for my mind to fathom that a male would be such an advocate for social justice? All I saw was the name and my mind just assumed it was a girl. What's that about?)
So, there were a few problems I had with the book (mainly some of the typos. Hit me up, Sam, I will edit your books. I love editing), but I honestly am not going to get into that. Mainly the one was saying the word "queer." I have a problem with it, because some people who may fall under that umbrella term don't necessarily appreciate being called that. I mean, you wouldn't say "HEY GAY" or "HEY THERE, LESBIAN," would you? Some people don't mind being called queer, and I think you should call people what they want to be called. But you know, perhaps it's for the context of the book itself that he did this and he DID mention in the glossary that not everyone who falls into the category of 'queer' likes to be called queer. Secondly, was the whole trans* issue, but again...he mentions in a chapter why some people don't like asterisks there. Myself, I prefer the hyphen, but again, this isn't a "HE DID THIS SO NOW I HATE THIS WHOLE FUCKING BOOK" type of situation.
I really appreciated the tone of this book. I love The Genderbread Person and I have v 3.3 hanging up in the teen section of the library I work at. Sam does a great job explaining gender (which in itself is complex and always changing) to those who aren't familiar (although they think they are) with the term and don't know a lot about the LGBTQUIA+ community. There were some terms that I honestly had never heard of, so I appreciated having them defined for me. I also loved Sam's take on feminism and why these man-haters online are not feminists (sorry, but I've always felt that way. Men are allowed to be feminists too). Finally, I loved Sam's chapter on Political Correctness vs. Inclusive. I like the way that whole chapter was spelled out, because you know what? Screw you, I'm not politically correct, I'm inclusive (that was a bit more aggressive than it should have been). We all have to do a better job at helping people become more inclusive without coming off as overly aggressive (like me, sorry).
Overall, I would definitely recommend this book for people who want to know more about gender studies, although I would be more inclined to recommend the 2nd edition (which I need to read).
For people reading, PLEASE NOTE THERE IS A 2ND EDITION OF THIS BOOK NOW. If you're thinking "Holy fuck, this has changed. Why is this in here?" Well, guess what? This version came out in 2013, so just calm yo ass down.
First of all, I'd love to be Sam Killermann's friend (also...this WHOLE TIME I thought he was a girl. I honest to God have no idea why. Is it that hard for my mind to fathom that a male would be such an advocate for social justice? All I saw was the name and my mind just assumed it was a girl. What's that about?)
So, there were a few problems I had with the book (mainly some of the typos. Hit me up, Sam, I will edit your books. I love editing), but I honestly am not going to get into that. Mainly the one was saying the word "queer." I have a problem with it, because some people who may fall under that umbrella term don't necessarily appreciate being called that. I mean, you wouldn't say "HEY GAY" or "HEY THERE, LESBIAN," would you? Some people don't mind being called queer, and I think you should call people what they want to be called. But you know, perhaps it's for the context of the book itself that he did this and he DID mention in the glossary that not everyone who falls into the category of 'queer' likes to be called queer. Secondly, was the whole trans* issue, but again...he mentions in a chapter why some people don't like asterisks there. Myself, I prefer the hyphen, but again, this isn't a "HE DID THIS SO NOW I HATE THIS WHOLE FUCKING BOOK" type of situation.
I really appreciated the tone of this book. I love The Genderbread Person and I have v 3.3 hanging up in the teen section of the library I work at. Sam does a great job explaining gender (which in itself is complex and always changing) to those who aren't familiar (although they think they are) with the term and don't know a lot about the LGBTQUIA+ community. There were some terms that I honestly had never heard of, so I appreciated having them defined for me. I also loved Sam's take on feminism and why these man-haters online are not feminists (sorry, but I've always felt that way. Men are allowed to be feminists too). Finally, I loved Sam's chapter on Political Correctness vs. Inclusive. I like the way that whole chapter was spelled out, because you know what? Screw you, I'm not politically correct, I'm inclusive (that was a bit more aggressive than it should have been). We all have to do a better job at helping people become more inclusive without coming off as overly aggressive (like me, sorry).
Overall, I would definitely recommend this book for people who want to know more about gender studies, although I would be more inclined to recommend the 2nd edition (which I need to read).
October 31, 2015
Killermann's 2013 handbook is potentially informative for the novice and a great step in the inclusive direction, to be sure. What it lacks is serious drive to mobilize readers - and really to express the subject in all seriousness. I appreciate, in some cases, the step down from academic jargon to "plain talk," but the rhetoric is mostly reductive, and Killermann pigeonholes much of the important complex narrative between seemingly light-hearted remarks and fluff.
This all said, I appreciate Killermann's social justice narrative and would hand this to a partner who can't recall ever calling himself a "feminist." Where it lacks in taste, it makes up for in plain information, and for that it receives its two star rating. I want to be clear that this book is keenly aware of itself in relation to current social justice activism. Alas, its writer and instigator cannot seem to pull up into the more realistic investigation of sociology, public speaking, and steps forward in the movement toward "gender equity."
This all said, I appreciate Killermann's social justice narrative and would hand this to a partner who can't recall ever calling himself a "feminist." Where it lacks in taste, it makes up for in plain information, and for that it receives its two star rating. I want to be clear that this book is keenly aware of itself in relation to current social justice activism. Alas, its writer and instigator cannot seem to pull up into the more realistic investigation of sociology, public speaking, and steps forward in the movement toward "gender equity."
December 31, 2015
I have mixed feelings about this book. It is immensely useful, and I got a lot out of it as I stumbled through my own questioning process. On the other hand, I have heard since that the idea was stolen from someone else, and that credit was not properly obtained. I have since bought other books directly from queer authors and I hope that this author rectifies this issue.
May 24, 2020
This is a really great primer to gender and sexuality that is accessible for people of any experience with the topic. However, I would love to see future editions co-authored by someone who is not a straight, white, cisgender male. I truly appreciate Sam’s efforts here and would love to see him use his privilege to better elevate the voices of marginalized individuals in this book.
September 14, 2015
It gives one way to look at sex/gender identity stuff. It tries to be academic but not quite, then tries to be persuasive but a little boring and sometimes nonsense... I like the platinum rule, the takeaway message.
April 6, 2020
It's a good guide to start immersing yourself in the world of the genre, but, as I have been checking, there are ideas that don't fit completely. Nor am I convinced by the vision from which the author treats feminism.
December 16, 2017
Total nonsense. Killerman is a very confused person giving bad advice to more confused persons.
February 7, 2018
I skimmed through this book briefly awhile back after purchasing it at a conference on sexuality, but I recently re-discovered it in a pile of books at work and thought it deserved a more thorough read. I use Sam Killermann’s ‘Genderbread Person’ a lot in my work (it’s a brilliant way to help explain– and highlight the differences between– gender identity, expression, romantic attraction, and biological sex), and it turns out his writing is just as useful.
There are three things I really love about Sam Killermann’s work that deserve mention here. First, he writes in an incredibly accessible way. Whether you’re new to social justice and gender issues or a seasoned advocate, there’s something to be learned from Killermann and it’s all written and explained in a way that nearly anyone could understand and digest.
The second thing I really love is that Sam Killermann leaves his work uncopyrighted. A lot of it can be found online and printed for free. He does this for a couple of reasons. It seems that he wants others to have full access to print, download, and utilize the models he’s put together in efforts to educate about these social justice issues. But not only does he want others to use his work, he wants them to build on it. Killermann encourages progress in this area, no matter what it takes, and his humility allows him space to recognize that we work better and accomplish more when we come together.
Which leads me to the last thing I really love. I love that Sam Killermann seems to be incredibly open-minded and eager to learn in a way that most humans aren’t. He fully understands that there’s no way to be an infallible ‘expert’ in any of this, and he seems to genuinely welcome feedback, even (and especially) if it’s critical. He talks candidly about the many times he’s been called out and re-educated in relation to mistakes he made unintentionally and how that learning has led to many drafts and editions of his work.
Authentic openness to new information and a genuine sense of compassion for others is one of the most rare and respectable qualities these days. In the drama of today’s world, we have become so unproductively polarized and desensitized to the feelings and needs of others. It’s easy to dismiss other people’s concerns and attempts to educate by throwing around derogatory labels or mistakenly equating kind and inclusive intentions with political correctness and censorship (different things, by the way).
Is it really that hard to be kind? Is it too much to ask to simply be mindful of the power of language? I think not. And Sam Killermann gives me hope that there are others who are willing to learn and grow and make efforts to help those around them feel safe, heard, and included.
There are three things I really love about Sam Killermann’s work that deserve mention here. First, he writes in an incredibly accessible way. Whether you’re new to social justice and gender issues or a seasoned advocate, there’s something to be learned from Killermann and it’s all written and explained in a way that nearly anyone could understand and digest.
The second thing I really love is that Sam Killermann leaves his work uncopyrighted. A lot of it can be found online and printed for free. He does this for a couple of reasons. It seems that he wants others to have full access to print, download, and utilize the models he’s put together in efforts to educate about these social justice issues. But not only does he want others to use his work, he wants them to build on it. Killermann encourages progress in this area, no matter what it takes, and his humility allows him space to recognize that we work better and accomplish more when we come together.
Which leads me to the last thing I really love. I love that Sam Killermann seems to be incredibly open-minded and eager to learn in a way that most humans aren’t. He fully understands that there’s no way to be an infallible ‘expert’ in any of this, and he seems to genuinely welcome feedback, even (and especially) if it’s critical. He talks candidly about the many times he’s been called out and re-educated in relation to mistakes he made unintentionally and how that learning has led to many drafts and editions of his work.
Authentic openness to new information and a genuine sense of compassion for others is one of the most rare and respectable qualities these days. In the drama of today’s world, we have become so unproductively polarized and desensitized to the feelings and needs of others. It’s easy to dismiss other people’s concerns and attempts to educate by throwing around derogatory labels or mistakenly equating kind and inclusive intentions with political correctness and censorship (different things, by the way).
Is it really that hard to be kind? Is it too much to ask to simply be mindful of the power of language? I think not. And Sam Killermann gives me hope that there are others who are willing to learn and grow and make efforts to help those around them feel safe, heard, and included.
November 17, 2017
I have to say this is a good educational book, it has helped to provide a reference when discussing gender and challenging the binary focus when the subject arises. That said there is nothing especially tailored to the trans/nonbinary reader like myself, and the tone appears to assume the reader will always be cis themselves. Though this is not too surprising as it is cisgender people who are the majority who would need this information the most, as usually trans/nonbinary people already have some at least rudimentary understanding that gender is not just limited to being cis from their own experiences. However this is by no means a reason not to read this book, as it can (and did mostly* for me) still provide much needed validation and help to trans/nonbinary people who are struggling to explain their experience and identity, and find acceptance in a cisnormative world where we are all too often subject to societal erasure.
* My only other issue with the book (off topic, but in no way minor) was one joke (re: pizza toppings) that was insensitive to another minority of which I am a part of as an allergy sufferer. Albeit not a racial, gender, or sexual minority, it strikes me as a low blow to needlessly and micro-aggressively kick down one group to help another up. This definitely spoiled the otherwise good message of that particular chapter, and as I am the sum of my parts not just my gender it did not make me feel any less invalidated or devalued as a person. This is not necessarily a deal breaker in terms of the whole book but has led to my having to sharpie out that part of the text before I could lend the book to another allergy sufferer. Who I know would also find the implication that those with specific dietary requirements "despise happiness" insensitive.
(Please note I read, and am therefore reviewing the second edition of this book.)
* My only other issue with the book (off topic, but in no way minor) was one joke (re: pizza toppings) that was insensitive to another minority of which I am a part of as an allergy sufferer. Albeit not a racial, gender, or sexual minority, it strikes me as a low blow to needlessly and micro-aggressively kick down one group to help another up. This definitely spoiled the otherwise good message of that particular chapter, and as I am the sum of my parts not just my gender it did not make me feel any less invalidated or devalued as a person. This is not necessarily a deal breaker in terms of the whole book but has led to my having to sharpie out that part of the text before I could lend the book to another allergy sufferer. Who I know would also find the implication that those with specific dietary requirements "despise happiness" insensitive.
(Please note I read, and am therefore reviewing the second edition of this book.)
July 8, 2025
A book of even more importance now than when it was written, a decade ago. In a series of chapters that read like blog posts Killermann addresses pretty much all you need to know on the subject of gender, feminism and ally-ship (if that’s a word, but if it isn’t, Killermann coins a few words himself, so he won’t be upset). It’s a quick, easy read that is mostly a lot of fun, except when it needs to get really serious once in a while. If anything this book explains, and actually celebrates all the colours of the rainbow, acknowledging the problems, but avoiding negativity or problematising. It’s aimed at people who want to be an ally or a social justice warrior. It tries to convince its audience. I don’t need a lot of convincing on most of these subjects, so that made me a little less of the target audience.
This is an area I’m already kind of familiar with (I try to be an ally and have used the genderbread person in workshops), but still held a few new insights for me, especially the Platinum Rule and the general introduction on oppression and privilege. The genderbread person gained more depth for me. The relationship with feminism was a useful element.
A book like this can’t be exhaustive and it doesn’t need to be. But I missed a subcategory of agender: cassgender (I don’t think my gender is an important part of my personality) and more generally the relationship between gender and identity. Also: I recognise problems with the genderbread person that Killermann very briefly addresses and than (rightfully) dismisses: they are still very much based on the binary, stereotypical view of gender. And there are other things that would be very nice to discuss with Killermann himself. But this is for further thought and clearly beyond the scope of this primer.
All in all a very nice read, containing a few editing mistakes, unfortunately, that would have been very easy to fix. But there are also StarWars references. And Matrix references. And more. Good times.
This is an area I’m already kind of familiar with (I try to be an ally and have used the genderbread person in workshops), but still held a few new insights for me, especially the Platinum Rule and the general introduction on oppression and privilege. The genderbread person gained more depth for me. The relationship with feminism was a useful element.
A book like this can’t be exhaustive and it doesn’t need to be. But I missed a subcategory of agender: cassgender (I don’t think my gender is an important part of my personality) and more generally the relationship between gender and identity. Also: I recognise problems with the genderbread person that Killermann very briefly addresses and than (rightfully) dismisses: they are still very much based on the binary, stereotypical view of gender. And there are other things that would be very nice to discuss with Killermann himself. But this is for further thought and clearly beyond the scope of this primer.
All in all a very nice read, containing a few editing mistakes, unfortunately, that would have been very easy to fix. But there are also StarWars references. And Matrix references. And more. Good times.
May 11, 2017
If you only read one book on gender issues this year... let it be a book by a trans* author. Sam Killermann is not that author, but he does provide a lighthearted survey of gender for the awkward beginner. The first part of the book is strong and does a great job of explaining identity and gender stereotypes. The "genderbread person" concept is most problematic, since Killermann's design is based off other sources which he never attributes. (See a brief explanation here at storify.com for more info.) The writing style is a little too casual and too steeped in transient pop-culture references to qualify as an investment to any respectable library of gender resources.
HOWEVER, it's a topic worth writing about, and Killermann does a decent job of including activities and thought questions for cis readers who want to be allies and might be feeling stuck. The illustrations are funny and on-point. Don't be shy to pick this book up and skim it for any useful metaphors and talking points if you're working with a nervous audience. Make sure you give at least as much attribution as Killermann did for his sources.
HOWEVER, it's a topic worth writing about, and Killermann does a decent job of including activities and thought questions for cis readers who want to be allies and might be feeling stuck. The illustrations are funny and on-point. Don't be shy to pick this book up and skim it for any useful metaphors and talking points if you're working with a nervous audience. Make sure you give at least as much attribution as Killermann did for his sources.
July 12, 2019
This is an excellent introduction to the social justice aspect of gender, pronoun, and queer advocacy. It's got some excellent resources and allows the reader to verbalize actionable points within both legal and social arguments. The book is written towards a cisgender reader, but that doesn't diminish the value of the content. This book is excellent as both a classroom textbook on gender and gender expression, as well as a good resource book for those persons doing advocacy. I would also recommend it for anyone who's looking to become more informed about gender, gender expression, pronoun etiquette, and the more complex nature of non-binary and non-gendered individuals.
Also, all proceeds of the books sales goes towards a queer justice legal fund.
Also, all proceeds of the books sales goes towards a queer justice legal fund.
February 28, 2022
This is a really good introduction to gender and sexuality issues. It's written in a really accessible way -- it's fun and easy to read, never trying to overwhelm readers who may be new to the information with an exorbitant amount of facts and definitions. Even though I knew most of the information presented in it I was never really bored. There are also a lot of really fun cartoons and visuals to make some harder-to-understand topics easier to digest. I think that this would be really helpful for someone looking to learn about gender and activism but aren't sure where to start.
The thing that holds me back from rating this 5 stars is the fact that the author, despite how good he is at writing, is a cisgender heterosexual white man. This isn't a bad thing, but I do think that a person who identifies as genderqueer may be able to explain some of the feelings associated with certain gender issues better than he could. And also the fact that he is the one who has been praised for this guide feels a little weird when we could (and should) be lifting up and amplifying the voices of genderqueer people and helping them educate if they feel driven to.
The thing that holds me back from rating this 5 stars is the fact that the author, despite how good he is at writing, is a cisgender heterosexual white man. This isn't a bad thing, but I do think that a person who identifies as genderqueer may be able to explain some of the feelings associated with certain gender issues better than he could. And also the fact that he is the one who has been praised for this guide feels a little weird when we could (and should) be lifting up and amplifying the voices of genderqueer people and helping them educate if they feel driven to.
March 26, 2019
Let me get my only two negative comments out of the way.
1. I didn't like the style the author uses in his writing. The constant joking and bantering was distracting. If the author wants his readers to take this subject seriously, then I think it should be presented as such.
2. There was quite a bit of redundant material which only contributed to more pages to read.
Now, let me tell you the positives. This was an excellent book. It is incredibly informative. I learned a lot of new things. It was a quick read and well organized. This is a good book to keep as a reference source on the many issues surrounding social justice.
1. I didn't like the style the author uses in his writing. The constant joking and bantering was distracting. If the author wants his readers to take this subject seriously, then I think it should be presented as such.
2. There was quite a bit of redundant material which only contributed to more pages to read.
Now, let me tell you the positives. This was an excellent book. It is incredibly informative. I learned a lot of new things. It was a quick read and well organized. This is a good book to keep as a reference source on the many issues surrounding social justice.
June 20, 2020
good overview but i had some issues with it. i was irritated by his use of humor at times. being written by a cis straight male, you also felt that at times. i haven't done much research but his use of the trans* (asterisk) distracted me away from the inclusivity he was trying to advocate for and it appears that the arguments for not using it are more valid than his for using. again being written by a cis male, he shouldn't be the one to decide if that should be the universal usage or not. but this was also written in 2013, so perhaps he's changed his mind.
October 29, 2023
Book serves best to be lent to fellow cis het peeps when they hit you with that “I don’t understand pronouns???” thing. It’s written simple enough for them, has plenty of pictures and metaphors, is funny enough to hold their attention, and it isn’t mean so they won’t get defensive and turn that brain of theirs off. It’s great!
But also it’s like that two-paneled meme:
Raphael’s School of Athens that says “discussing gender with trans people”
Picture of a toddler with blocks that says “discussing gender with cis people”
This book is the blocks to give to us toddlers out there.
But also it’s like that two-paneled meme:
Raphael’s School of Athens that says “discussing gender with trans people”
Picture of a toddler with blocks that says “discussing gender with cis people”
This book is the blocks to give to us toddlers out there.
August 3, 2017
A lot of this book is a really good education and source of information about some very important and relevant issues. However, I think some of Killermann's arguments are unconvincing, and I wish he'd done better. (In his defence, he's working hard to promote equitable rights on many tricky issues and he is doing a good job - no one is going to be perfect, and the work he's doing is very valuable.)
February 26, 2018
This is a good introduction to different terms and ideas around gender and it has helped me to educate myself about the problems experienced by those who do not identify as cisgender. The tone strikes the right balance between being informative and entertaining, with paragraph 'chunks' of useful knowledge and information broken up by helpful illustations, cartoons and diagrams. It also gives you help with how to apply this knowledge in everyday contexts, which I found useful.
May 2, 2018
This was an interesting read. I taught me quite a lot, not just about gender but also about the way society looks at genders (because that's not the way I look at it). It has made me understand other people more. The illustrations were nice and helpful and funny, and I liked the humour in the text too. I also liked the references to food, movies, animals. Overall I found it an interesting read and one I'll probably think on for a while.
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