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SMART Love: How Improving Your Emotional Intelligence Will Transform Your Marriage
The principles of emotional intelligence have long been applied to the business world with remarkable results. But what would happen if they were applied to that most important of relationships--marriage?
SMART Love is a system for understanding emotions--both your own and your spouse's--managing those emotions, and walking hand in hand through those situations when emotions run high. Drs. David and Jan Stoop break the book into five sections:
- Self-awareness of your emotions
- Managing your emotions
- Accountability to yourself, your spouse, and others
- Reading the other person's emotions
- Together in the land of emotions
A SMART Love inventory helps readers see where they are strong and where they need improvement, and each section includes action steps couples can take to implement what they've learned. Perfect for couples' counseling, small groups, and anyone who wants to connect with their spouse more deeply.
SMART Love is a system for understanding emotions--both your own and your spouse's--managing those emotions, and walking hand in hand through those situations when emotions run high. Drs. David and Jan Stoop break the book into five sections:
- Self-awareness of your emotions
- Managing your emotions
- Accountability to yourself, your spouse, and others
- Reading the other person's emotions
- Together in the land of emotions
A SMART Love inventory helps readers see where they are strong and where they need improvement, and each section includes action steps couples can take to implement what they've learned. Perfect for couples' counseling, small groups, and anyone who wants to connect with their spouse more deeply.
210 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 14, 2017
44 people are currently reading
329 people want to read
About the author
David Stoop
97 books18 followersDavid Stoop, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist in California. He received a master's in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary and a doctorate from the University of Southern California.
He is frequently heard as a cohost on the nationally syndicated New Life Live! radio and TV program.
David is the founder and director of the Center for Family Therapy in Newport Beach, California. He is also an adjunct professor at Fuller Seminary and serves on the executive board of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
David is a Gold Medallion-winning author who has written more than thirty books, including Forgiving the Unforgivable, and Rethink How You Think.
He resides with his wife Jan in Newport Beach, California, and has three sons and six grandchildren.
Connect with David on:
DrStoop.com
Facebook
Twitter
He is frequently heard as a cohost on the nationally syndicated New Life Live! radio and TV program.
David is the founder and director of the Center for Family Therapy in Newport Beach, California. He is also an adjunct professor at Fuller Seminary and serves on the executive board of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
David is a Gold Medallion-winning author who has written more than thirty books, including Forgiving the Unforgivable, and Rethink How You Think.
He resides with his wife Jan in Newport Beach, California, and has three sons and six grandchildren.
Connect with David on:
DrStoop.com
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
June 2, 2025
75 down, 225 to go.
Genre - Christian
Smart Love
It is a system for understanding emotions, knowing the strengths and weaknesses and how to manage these emotions for better relationships.
Lessons:
1. To truly know God is to experience His love.
2. For love to grow, you must learn to confront emotions, especially negative ones.
3. Emotions form the foundation of who you are. They are closest to your innermost being.
4. Most often, blames accomplish nothing except to add hurt.
5. If you can’t identify your emotions, you won't be able to manage them.
6. Maintaining the balance between the emotional brain and the reasoning brain requires that you act based on your values, not your impulses.
7. Empathy involves the willingness to understand another person’s thoughts, feelings, and struggles from their perspective.
8. Love is everywhere. It goes deeper and lasts far longer than any of the emotion.
Genre - Christian
Smart Love
It is a system for understanding emotions, knowing the strengths and weaknesses and how to manage these emotions for better relationships.
Lessons:
1. To truly know God is to experience His love.
2. For love to grow, you must learn to confront emotions, especially negative ones.
3. Emotions form the foundation of who you are. They are closest to your innermost being.
4. Most often, blames accomplish nothing except to add hurt.
5. If you can’t identify your emotions, you won't be able to manage them.
6. Maintaining the balance between the emotional brain and the reasoning brain requires that you act based on your values, not your impulses.
7. Empathy involves the willingness to understand another person’s thoughts, feelings, and struggles from their perspective.
8. Love is everywhere. It goes deeper and lasts far longer than any of the emotion.
December 20, 2017
A practical look at EQ (Emotional Intelligence) from Christian Counselors who use this in their practice. I have been working on this topic at work for some time now, with the purpose of training staff. This book added a practical dimension to my study and research. Also, they tie in Biblical insights as well, making this material helpful in applying Biblical truth as it relates to one's emotional responses as a believer.
October 1, 2022
mmmm ok. Yes, improving your emotional intelligence will transform any relationship, or show you that it's not where you should be putting your energy. More than theory, the book does have action plans, tactical ways to try new behaviours, habits, rituals, ways of being, so I believe it's worth reading or skimming if you can read/see past the sexist "traditional" roles described and believed to be the way men and women should interact.
June 6, 2017
Excellent boot for all married couples or to be married. Emotional intelligence is key to successful marriage and in our age of being raised in unstable home where emotional health was lacking and feelings were suppressed this is an essential read
July 13, 2017
The principles of emotional intelligence have long been applied to the business world with remarkable results. But what would happen if they were applied to that most important of relationships--marriage?
My Review
Smart Love is written by the doctors, who are married. So they must know a thing or two.
I must admit I was a little skeptical when I picked up Smart love. I have read a boatload of these kinds of books, and while they are wonderful, they really only work if your spouse reads them too.
What if your spouse does not read ya'll?
I digress, I found this book to give me many "Ah-ha" moments and the authors use real people in real situations to illustrate their point. Add to that just the right amount of geeky science stuff (that I love) and this girl is a happy camper.
(Well, figuratively speaking .... because I hate camping.)
And, there are quizzes!!! Yes, I did take pencil to the page and fill them out and was impressed and somewhat surprised at my EQ. EQ=Emotional Intelligence
I think if you have read all those other marriage books (nothing wrong with them) but you did not get what you wanted out of it, try this one. For me, it really taught me more about myself and why I do what I do. That, right there was worth it.
And I learned a few new ways to react. Win-win!
Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
My Review
Smart Love is written by the doctors, who are married. So they must know a thing or two.
I must admit I was a little skeptical when I picked up Smart love. I have read a boatload of these kinds of books, and while they are wonderful, they really only work if your spouse reads them too.
What if your spouse does not read ya'll?
I digress, I found this book to give me many "Ah-ha" moments and the authors use real people in real situations to illustrate their point. Add to that just the right amount of geeky science stuff (that I love) and this girl is a happy camper.
(Well, figuratively speaking .... because I hate camping.)
And, there are quizzes!!! Yes, I did take pencil to the page and fill them out and was impressed and somewhat surprised at my EQ. EQ=Emotional Intelligence
I think if you have read all those other marriage books (nothing wrong with them) but you did not get what you wanted out of it, try this one. For me, it really taught me more about myself and why I do what I do. That, right there was worth it.
And I learned a few new ways to react. Win-win!
Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews