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Brainchew
It was supposed to be a simple jewel heist, but it went badly wrong. Chuck got shot and died.
Lance hid his friend's corpse in the Pleasant Street Cemetery. But that was a big mistake—there was something undead, something extremely hungry . . . something eXXXtremely horrible, buried in the Pleasant Street Cemetery.
And Lance had just woken it up.
They called the monster Brainchew because it ate brains. Human brains. And it preferred those brains fresh from the heads . . . of the living.
And now it was awake again, Brainchew planned on feeding big-time tonight. Oh hell yes, it did.
Lance hid his friend's corpse in the Pleasant Street Cemetery. But that was a big mistake—there was something undead, something extremely hungry . . . something eXXXtremely horrible, buried in the Pleasant Street Cemetery.
And Lance had just woken it up.
They called the monster Brainchew because it ate brains. Human brains. And it preferred those brains fresh from the heads . . . of the living.
And now it was awake again, Brainchew planned on feeding big-time tonight. Oh hell yes, it did.
220 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 14, 2017
2 people are currently reading
205 people want to read
About the author
Wol-vriey
70 books202 followersWol-vriey writes eXXXtreme horror fiction, and also some surrealist stuff.
To date, he has published over forty novels in both genres.
His horror novels include: EnterPAINment, LGBT, The Virgin, Marriage, Women, Nightmare Fuel 1 & 2, Haunted House XXX 1 & 2, and How To Succeed in Life.
On the surrealist side of things, he is the author of Vegan Zombie Apocalypse, Vegan Vampire Vaginas, Vagina Mundi, and the disturbing and unsettling Dr. Orgasm.
To date, he has published over forty novels in both genres.
His horror novels include: EnterPAINment, LGBT, The Virgin, Marriage, Women, Nightmare Fuel 1 & 2, Haunted House XXX 1 & 2, and How To Succeed in Life.
On the surrealist side of things, he is the author of Vegan Zombie Apocalypse, Vegan Vampire Vaginas, Vagina Mundi, and the disturbing and unsettling Dr. Orgasm.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
February 26, 2017
Knock-knock. Who's there? Brainchew. Brainchew who? Brainchew YOU! The pygmy tiki with the major cranium has arisen after a long nap, eager to suck brains and drain bodily fluid cocktails. Where the monster originates from is unclear, but he smells bad and is very hungry. With a ragtag group of robbers, murderers and schemers conveniently located in one area, Mr. Chew begins his hunt. The lives that he disrupts (actually, is it a "he?") are already involved in dubious matters. Robbery, murder and deviant sex unroll like a crazy carpet to set the scene. Some people are massacred in gruesome ways, while others find pop-up surprises in ... well, hidden areas. Heh. This is a monster story through and through, with a clueless, primitive beast on the loose and horny, greedy humans in its path. The final showdown between Brainchew and his drunken archenemy is hilarious, and the author tips his hat to the three anti-heroines of his previous novel. This was a fun, quick and gory read, although it ended altogether too neatly for me. Well, maybe not neatly. Let's call it simply.
Many thanks to the author, who provided me with a free e-copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
3.5 mangled stars
Many thanks to the author, who provided me with a free e-copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
3.5 mangled stars
July 7, 2017
Loved this book by a new author for me, Wol-vriey! This story was my favorite kind. Campy, gory, full of crazy sex and violence. It also has the dark humor only these kinds of stories can take. The characters are well developed and interesting, and I never lost interest in the plot. Brainchew is a great monster, and highly recommended by me :)
February 18, 2017
Okay, it was a wild ride. Fast-paced and entertaining as hell. Gory, campy and fun. But... it was also more than that. And this *more* is what makes me happy I've read this book and will make me remember it.
When I set out to read it, I expected a lot of splatterpunk goodness: blood, guts, filth, other gross things and dirty sex. And it was there for sure. Brainchew is, you can say, a classic monster who - yes, likes to eat brains :) And is nearly invulnerable. And it plays its role perfectly. But I actually was much more fascinated with the human cast of the book - their stories, their past and present, and how wonderfully complex every one of them was.
No one was one-dimensional; every one had a secret, a hidden side, showed something unexpected. There was something to sympathize with even in those characters I hated (Dusty, you bitch!); and those characters I liked - well, let's say, none of them would qualify as a poster boy of anything and their redeeming qualities were few and far between. But they were there.
Ambrose and Crystal were a strangely appealing pair. Who maybe didn't smell nicely but I couldn't help liking them both.
And Summer... oh, Summer was a wonderful surprise. Never saw it coming and... I have to say I enjoyed EVERY part of her story so much.
So, a band of criminals whose latest affair turned horribly wrong. Hotel owners without a shred of morality. A drunk-out-of-his-mind unlikely hero. A couple of prostitutes. And a probably-alien monster against them. Who's gonna survive, who's gonna die... but it's not the right question.
The right one is: is the brain-eating monster's evil scarier than the evil in people who appear perfectly normal in everyday life? And that's what I liked about this story - that it made me ask this question and not just be there for gory fun.
I loved the writing, too. It was crisp, starightforward, neat even when it came to the grossest fragments - and with the sparks of dry humor here and there.
"It was a beautiful mess in a way, one a drunk could be proud of. It was something he'd created himself, something that had required a diligent effort of neglect to bring about." Sigh, what a poetic way to describe the mess :)
It's the first Wol-vriey's book I've read but surely won't be the last.
When I set out to read it, I expected a lot of splatterpunk goodness: blood, guts, filth, other gross things and dirty sex. And it was there for sure. Brainchew is, you can say, a classic monster who - yes, likes to eat brains :) And is nearly invulnerable. And it plays its role perfectly. But I actually was much more fascinated with the human cast of the book - their stories, their past and present, and how wonderfully complex every one of them was.
No one was one-dimensional; every one had a secret, a hidden side, showed something unexpected. There was something to sympathize with even in those characters I hated (Dusty, you bitch!); and those characters I liked - well, let's say, none of them would qualify as a poster boy of anything and their redeeming qualities were few and far between. But they were there.
Ambrose and Crystal were a strangely appealing pair. Who maybe didn't smell nicely but I couldn't help liking them both.
And Summer... oh, Summer was a wonderful surprise. Never saw it coming and... I have to say I enjoyed EVERY part of her story so much.
So, a band of criminals whose latest affair turned horribly wrong. Hotel owners without a shred of morality. A drunk-out-of-his-mind unlikely hero. A couple of prostitutes. And a probably-alien monster against them. Who's gonna survive, who's gonna die... but it's not the right question.
The right one is: is the brain-eating monster's evil scarier than the evil in people who appear perfectly normal in everyday life? And that's what I liked about this story - that it made me ask this question and not just be there for gory fun.
I loved the writing, too. It was crisp, starightforward, neat even when it came to the grossest fragments - and with the sparks of dry humor here and there.
"It was a beautiful mess in a way, one a drunk could be proud of. It was something he'd created himself, something that had required a diligent effort of neglect to bring about." Sigh, what a poetic way to describe the mess :)
It's the first Wol-vriey's book I've read but surely won't be the last.
February 16, 2017
Another gruesome giggle-fest. (Ok, I might be a little odd, I admit it) from one of my favourite authors. A heist gone wrong, a brain munching monster and a group of morally challenged people; what more could you want!
As a side note, for those that are yet to enter the weird and wonderful world of Wol-Vriey, if you are going to read the horror titles (his bizarro work is excellent too, I actually started with them and have read them all and loved them) then read them in order as they are loosely linked in that some characters are recurring. Start with Hell Dancer, and then Girls Are Not Smiling before going on to this one.
As a side note, for those that are yet to enter the weird and wonderful world of Wol-Vriey, if you are going to read the horror titles (his bizarro work is excellent too, I actually started with them and have read them all and loved them) then read them in order as they are loosely linked in that some characters are recurring. Start with Hell Dancer, and then Girls Are Not Smiling before going on to this one.
November 27, 2019
Excellent read
Great read. I loved this story with branches being a mythical monster and how he was described as looking. You could picture him in your minds eye and him doing his murderous brain kills with the added extras. He was quite disturbing but you were enthralled by his ways. Then the couple's wow. Summer was a complete surprise and definitely what she did made you squirm. I love how in Mr Wol-vriey 's books the places and towns an some of the people seem to flow in parts together.It's a great way to read and learn about the places in the books so you can immerse yourself further into the story. A great read that has you captivated from the start.
Great read. I loved this story with branches being a mythical monster and how he was described as looking. You could picture him in your minds eye and him doing his murderous brain kills with the added extras. He was quite disturbing but you were enthralled by his ways. Then the couple's wow. Summer was a complete surprise and definitely what she did made you squirm. I love how in Mr Wol-vriey 's books the places and towns an some of the people seem to flow in parts together.It's a great way to read and learn about the places in the books so you can immerse yourself further into the story. A great read that has you captivated from the start.
February 21, 2017
This was the first book by this author I've
read but it won't be the last by any means.
The writing style here does indeed show
thinking outside the traditional box on
many levels.
For those looking for more mainstream
horror fiction this might not appease their
palate but for those willing to expand their
literary horizons in this genre it can turn out
to be a quite delectable.
I developed a taste for it right off the bat
and would have given it a higher rating
if I could sink my teeth in to more interaction
with the creature itself. This fucker is hungry
and his appetite knows no limits, so having
him unleash his unwholesome cravings on
more hapless victims would have been the tipping
point for me.
The book has some very nice surprises concealed
within. Kind of like thinking you're going to
sit yourself down to a steak dinner and once
you get the plate you find you've got Kobe
Fillet Mignon instead of Black Angus.
If the want was there Brainchew could be
back again doing what he does best, savoring
all the delicacies he loves so well within
the human body.
Bottom line; I give major props to the author
and would suggest this to readers who are
willing to dine on some in your face succulent
horror fare. No need for manners or using
a napkin, just lick your fingers clean and enjoy!
read but it won't be the last by any means.
The writing style here does indeed show
thinking outside the traditional box on
many levels.
For those looking for more mainstream
horror fiction this might not appease their
palate but for those willing to expand their
literary horizons in this genre it can turn out
to be a quite delectable.
I developed a taste for it right off the bat
and would have given it a higher rating
if I could sink my teeth in to more interaction
with the creature itself. This fucker is hungry
and his appetite knows no limits, so having
him unleash his unwholesome cravings on
more hapless victims would have been the tipping
point for me.
The book has some very nice surprises concealed
within. Kind of like thinking you're going to
sit yourself down to a steak dinner and once
you get the plate you find you've got Kobe
Fillet Mignon instead of Black Angus.
If the want was there Brainchew could be
back again doing what he does best, savoring
all the delicacies he loves so well within
the human body.
Bottom line; I give major props to the author
and would suggest this to readers who are
willing to dine on some in your face succulent
horror fare. No need for manners or using
a napkin, just lick your fingers clean and enjoy!
March 1, 2017
Disclaimer - This book was given by the author at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review.
I must say, Brainchew is definitely a creature that is unlike any you've ever encountered before! I really enjoyed the story, especially in regards to the characters which I felt were very well developed. And the fact that, after all the books I've read, this was something unlike anything I've read before, well that is saying something. I struggled between giving it 3 or 4 stars, but like other stories I've read there were parts of it that were a bit too much for me, graphically speaking. Honestly, I think that is a credit to the writer, but in order for my review to feel honest I have to base it off of how much I liked the story in its entirety. Overall, I would definitely read more from this author, and loved the plot. I have to say that not many of the characters were the kind that you would normally root for, but somehow I felt myself cheering them on at certain moments.
I must say, Brainchew is definitely a creature that is unlike any you've ever encountered before! I really enjoyed the story, especially in regards to the characters which I felt were very well developed. And the fact that, after all the books I've read, this was something unlike anything I've read before, well that is saying something. I struggled between giving it 3 or 4 stars, but like other stories I've read there were parts of it that were a bit too much for me, graphically speaking. Honestly, I think that is a credit to the writer, but in order for my review to feel honest I have to base it off of how much I liked the story in its entirety. Overall, I would definitely read more from this author, and loved the plot. I have to say that not many of the characters were the kind that you would normally root for, but somehow I felt myself cheering them on at certain moments.
February 11, 2018
Camp 80's horror
Go into this book knowing that it's a camp 80's style horror complete with sex (graphic) and gore, and you'll have a great time with it.
A little too much use of parentheses for my liking (including parentheses WITHIN parentheses), but if you leave your brain at the door, this is a lot of fun.
Just remember to pick your brain back up before you leave or it's likely to get eaten!
Go into this book knowing that it's a camp 80's style horror complete with sex (graphic) and gore, and you'll have a great time with it.
A little too much use of parentheses for my liking (including parentheses WITHIN parentheses), but if you leave your brain at the door, this is a lot of fun.
Just remember to pick your brain back up before you leave or it's likely to get eaten!
October 12, 2017
Alien or not?Brainchew is full of action packed horrible things happening surrounding a weird statue and the stone knife that arrived with it.Just keep reading to see who/if anyone survives and if Brainchew is put to rest or continues on.Also consider the answer to the question-does crime pay and at what price?
February 24, 2017
If you like gore, sex, and monsters, you gotta give Brainchew a bite of your time.
Reading this was truly a fun and wild ride. It's reminiscent of those campy monster movies you know and love.
I'd become a little disenchanted with the splatterpunk genre, but this story hit all the right places to keep me genuinely excited to see the end, and remind me why I love it.
Reading this was truly a fun and wild ride. It's reminiscent of those campy monster movies you know and love.
I'd become a little disenchanted with the splatterpunk genre, but this story hit all the right places to keep me genuinely excited to see the end, and remind me why I love it.
February 18, 2017
This was my first introduction into the world of Wol-vriey and it was quite an introduction! The general story revolves around a robbery gone wrong and the accidental awakening of a monster known as 'Brainchew'. Why is it called Brainchew? No prizes for guessing that one :)
You may be forgiven to think that this is an all out gorefest but I was actually really impressed with the writing style. Wol-vriey has a nice fluid style to his writing that makes the story easy to read and I had easily settled into it by the first 10 pages. I loved his character development, the back story for each of them was well thought out and lent a bit of sympathy/hatred towards each one. The characters have quite low morals and self esteem and how they interact is actually really amusing at time (Summer & Shane have quite a surprise scene in particular).
Brainchew has all the ingredients of a modern horror novel and I would have been quite happy if it had gone on for another 200 pages. Brainchew the monster would certainly give Rawhead Rex a run for his money in terms of rampaging violence! It is quite nice to see an author taking on the monster horror genre and doing it really well.
Overall, I really enjoyed this novel and that is what it is about at the end of the day. I will definitely be checking out more of Wol-vriey's novels in the near future.
You may be forgiven to think that this is an all out gorefest but I was actually really impressed with the writing style. Wol-vriey has a nice fluid style to his writing that makes the story easy to read and I had easily settled into it by the first 10 pages. I loved his character development, the back story for each of them was well thought out and lent a bit of sympathy/hatred towards each one. The characters have quite low morals and self esteem and how they interact is actually really amusing at time (Summer & Shane have quite a surprise scene in particular).
Brainchew has all the ingredients of a modern horror novel and I would have been quite happy if it had gone on for another 200 pages. Brainchew the monster would certainly give Rawhead Rex a run for his money in terms of rampaging violence! It is quite nice to see an author taking on the monster horror genre and doing it really well.
Overall, I really enjoyed this novel and that is what it is about at the end of the day. I will definitely be checking out more of Wol-vriey's novels in the near future.
February 26, 2017
I found this book to be thrilling and suspenseful. The "monster" just loves eating brains and drinking urine. I really enjoyed reading this book
December 24, 2017
Awesome shoot'em up Saturday morning monster movie, all wrapped up in this nice compact book. While reading you feel like you are sitting in front of the TV waiting for the early morning monster movie to come on. The anticipation for this movie started Friday night and now it's Saturday morning and you are ready to go. Action.......The story is set in a small town where everyone knowing your name is not necessarily a good thing. This small town has a reputation for extreme violence, sex, and utter tragedy. You follow four thieves on a big jewelry/money heist. Things of course go bad, and they go bad so fast it is not even funny. Hired by some odd persons to steal some priceless diamonds, turns into a run for your life situation. Getting out of this city should be this groups number one option, but it turns out that it really is their last option, and that is not a good thing. They and other characters go through some of the weirdest, scariest, and life ending situations ever. There is gore, sex, violence, and an awesome monster in this story. This monster is too cool!! The author has a scary imagination to come up with this beast, it has a good history too. The author has done a fantastic job on the backstory for characters and the small town. After you find some "easter eggs" and want to know more about those stories, pick up "Girls Are Not Smiling" by this very talented author. My review for that book is posted on Amazon and Goodreads. You really should grab that book, if you like this you will love that, it is more intense and more extreme.
March 5, 2017
This is my first exposure to Wol-vriey, who sent me a copy of Brainchew in exchange for an honest review. I'm glad he did. I'll admit that I began this book not expecting much, guessing it'd be more of the usual fare where splatterpunk horror is concerned, just so much sex, violence, and gore to compensate for the lack of a worthwhile story. I was wrong and had a blast reading it for the same reason I enjoy the occasional grindhouse film: campy, cheesy goodness. Along with said campy, cheesy goodness, the pacing of the novel is solid, with the exception of a couple of scenes that dragged longer than necessary, and keeps the reader turning the pages. The characters are much more complex than I thought they'd be, and I was impressed that I was able to either loathe or care about them (truth be told, there's a lot more of the former happening here--hell, there were times I was actually rooting Brainchew on), which goes far beyond the usual indifference I feel when reading in this sub-genre, where, for the most part, the characters can all go fuck right off. Finally, Wol-vriey's use of humor is well placed and varied, ranging anywhere from the subtle/ironic to the absurd/outlandish, and had me flat-out guffawing on a couple occasions. All in all, I'll be reading more of Wol-vriey's work and recommend this one to fans of grindhouse movies, creature features and 80s slasher films (yes, many elements from those are in here to, but that is for another time).
January 7, 2019
“It had three fingers on each hand and three toes on each foot. It was completely hairless. It was also sexless— all it had between its legs were folds of warty skin”
This description of Brainchew hit the right note. It was simple yet sinister. Many of Brainchew’s scenes involved gory chomping of brains and also the occasional urine slurping. That was so funny hahaha.
Brainchew also has a nemesis, whom we find out later as Ambrose, a drunkard who miraculously managed to bring down Brainchew every single time despite being drunk for most parts. His celebration of victory includes snoozing on the hardened skull of Brainchew in a flooded enclosure which goes ankle deep.
This book, like Wolvriey’s others, made me laugh a few times, and that is why I keep reading his books! It was quick and easy entertainment, even more so after trudging through boring non fiction books.
However, 3 stars because it felt like a normal read for me. The story is there yes, but it felt more like a TV dinner than a plate of juicy steak. There were many suggestions made but some of them not clarified. For example it was repeated many times that there was no reason how Thomas appeared out of thin air and ambushed them. It sounded like the author wanted to develop something there, but it was never followed up.
This description of Brainchew hit the right note. It was simple yet sinister. Many of Brainchew’s scenes involved gory chomping of brains and also the occasional urine slurping. That was so funny hahaha.
Brainchew also has a nemesis, whom we find out later as Ambrose, a drunkard who miraculously managed to bring down Brainchew every single time despite being drunk for most parts. His celebration of victory includes snoozing on the hardened skull of Brainchew in a flooded enclosure which goes ankle deep.
This book, like Wolvriey’s others, made me laugh a few times, and that is why I keep reading his books! It was quick and easy entertainment, even more so after trudging through boring non fiction books.
However, 3 stars because it felt like a normal read for me. The story is there yes, but it felt more like a TV dinner than a plate of juicy steak. There were many suggestions made but some of them not clarified. For example it was repeated many times that there was no reason how Thomas appeared out of thin air and ambushed them. It sounded like the author wanted to develop something there, but it was never followed up.
March 31, 2017
Richard Laymon with a boner!
Like that's a bad thing right? All you really need to know is that this is a violent and sexy book. Big crime, big heist gone wrong. Good looking people wheeling and dealing, with their bodies and minds. A ...thing. It's hungry.
This is a fun read, if you dig this kind of thing. Could the writing be better? In some places, yes. But please remember this is a newer author who is still developing his voice. the meat of the novel is tasty. Mmmm....meat!
Like that's a bad thing right? All you really need to know is that this is a violent and sexy book. Big crime, big heist gone wrong. Good looking people wheeling and dealing, with their bodies and minds. A ...thing. It's hungry.
This is a fun read, if you dig this kind of thing. Could the writing be better? In some places, yes. But please remember this is a newer author who is still developing his voice. the meat of the novel is tasty. Mmmm....meat!
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews