I really wanted to love Chris Kattan's "Baby Don't Hurt Me," but the truth is that I found it to be a slow, cumbersome read and an underlying whine that permeates virtually every chapter of the book.
Yet, somehow, there are pieces of the book I genuinely enjoyed and it's not a book I would ever trash. It's simply not a book that I found appealing - I finished it, but I'll openly admit that about halfway through I found myself struggling to finish.
Kattan spends about every other chapter recounting memories from his days on Saturday Night Live, up to and including the neck injury he acquired during a skit that seemingly went as planned but was so physically demanding that he fell in just the right way to basically break his neck.
The problem is that Kattan seems to blame everyone but himself...the Emmy-winning props team that used a chair that he knew increased the risks and even, in a kind of subtle way, Tina Fey herself for having penned the skit that was so physically demanding. This issue of blaming seems to float throughout the book, from the divorce of his parents in his childhood to broken relationships to shattered friendships, etc.
While on occasion he takes responsibility for his role in it all, more often than not he seems to lay responsibility on everyone else.
I always find these celebrity memoirs interesting. Sometimes, I end up really admiring the person. Sometimes, I think it would be really cool to meet the person. Other times, as with this one, I think to myself "I bet we wouldn't get along."
While much is made about the many scars in Kattan's life, I must admit that I didn't see nearly as much as people are talking about. I mean...okay, he's a child of divorce and grew up in an isolated rural area. So? He's had relationships end badly? Again, so? He's had friends who found fame before he did? It's Hollywood. Those things tend to happen. I mean, I think we can all testify that Will Ferrell is, in fact, more talented than Chris Kattan in pretty much every way.
Even with the neck injury, a definite life-altering tragedy, the simple truth is that he made it immensely worse by significantly delaying treatment. SNL only paid for 2 of 5 surgeries? Well, again, you delayed treatment and made it worse. You were concerned about burning that bridge, but then you turn around and write a book accusing Lorne Michaels of essentially trying to get you to have sex with a certain film director (which Michaels denies).
Again, weird and why inconsistencies.
However, my biggest problem with the book is this...The vast majority of Kattan's humor is physical. He himself, in this book, acknowledges that the actual dialogue isn't the thing. So, um, reading about these sketches? Not particularly interesting. There's certainly very little spark.
Oh sure, there's fun stuff in here including certain relationships, friends, encounters, and such. You just have to wade through the slog to get to it. "Baby Don't Hurt Me" is occasionally entertaining, but frequently maddening.
When he makes himself vulnerable, the book hits a nice emotional core. There's a section on the ending of his friendship with Will Ferrell, for example, that is rather touching. However, there's several other times where he'll wax eloquently about someone but never identify them.
What's the point?
I didn't hate "Baby Don't Hurt Me," but it almost seems like a book that Kattan should have waited to write maybe a couple more years. It seems like he's on the verge of an emotional breakthrough, but it's hard to imagine this experience is going to help much. It's not a particularly empowering book and I think it's fair to say he's burning a handful of bridges that could have helped him bounce back a bit.
We'll see. For now, I'll chalk this up as a decent enough read and probably a good read for those who enjoy the SNL memoirs or simply celebrity memoirs.