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Fat, Fifty and F****ed!
Martin Carter is having a crook day. His home life's a misery, he's been retrenched by the bank and everyone's forgotten his birthday. But a million-dollar payroll, a pistol, and a split-second decision change everything. Hurtling north on a motorcycle with the intriguing Faith, Martin encounters a mysterious hit-man, a new-age bikie gang, a reclusive media mogul, and the booby-trapped mountain hideout of an old schoolmate. With Faith's help he learns about love again, along with some bitter truths about instant coffee, brown suede shoes, and the legendary Great Aussie Truck-stop Breakfast.
300 pages, Paperback
First published August 9, 2004
5 people are currently reading
98 people want to read
About the author
Geoffrey McGeachin
12 books87 followersAfter a career as a world-travelling photographer and then photo-educator, Melbourne born Geoffrey McGeachin eventually settled in Sydney’s Bondi Beach where he decided one day to sit down and see if he had a book in him.
His first novel, the award winning Fat, Fifty and Fu*ked! (definitely not an autobiography) was published by Penguin and followed by three tongue-in-check spy novels featuring photographer/secret agent Alby Murdoch: D-E-D Dead, Sensitive New Age Spy, and Dead & Kicking.
In 2010 Geoffrey wrote the first of the Charlie Berlin trilogy, The Diggers Rest Hotel; followed by Blackwattle Creek and St Kilda Blues. The series, set in 1947, 1957 and 1967, earned him two prestigious Ned Kelly Awards (2011 and 2013) for Best Australian Crime Fiction.
In 2023 Clan Destine republished Fat, Fifty and Fu*ked!, praised by iconic author Kerri Greenwood as, ‘hilariously funny,’ adding, ‘this wonderful book . . . is a hymn of joyful praise for this Big, Brown Land. If you love Australia as it actually is, warts and all, then you will love this book.’
In 2025 McGeachin’s laconic larrikin photographer/spy Alby Murdoch is back in action with Clan Destine’s republication of D-E-D Dead, Sensitive New Age Spy, and Dead & Kicking.
Geoffrey now lives on the gorgeous NSW central coast.
His first novel, the award winning Fat, Fifty and Fu*ked! (definitely not an autobiography) was published by Penguin and followed by three tongue-in-check spy novels featuring photographer/secret agent Alby Murdoch: D-E-D Dead, Sensitive New Age Spy, and Dead & Kicking.
In 2010 Geoffrey wrote the first of the Charlie Berlin trilogy, The Diggers Rest Hotel; followed by Blackwattle Creek and St Kilda Blues. The series, set in 1947, 1957 and 1967, earned him two prestigious Ned Kelly Awards (2011 and 2013) for Best Australian Crime Fiction.
In 2023 Clan Destine republished Fat, Fifty and Fu*ked!, praised by iconic author Kerri Greenwood as, ‘hilariously funny,’ adding, ‘this wonderful book . . . is a hymn of joyful praise for this Big, Brown Land. If you love Australia as it actually is, warts and all, then you will love this book.’
In 2025 McGeachin’s laconic larrikin photographer/spy Alby Murdoch is back in action with Clan Destine’s republication of D-E-D Dead, Sensitive New Age Spy, and Dead & Kicking.
Geoffrey now lives on the gorgeous NSW central coast.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
December 29, 2023
More review at: https://theburgeoningbookshelf.blogsp...
Set in the fictitious small country town of Burrinjuruk, Fat, Fifty and Fu*ked is the quintessential Australian novel. The small town is dying since the main road was diverted and the local bank is the latest business to be closed down. Get ready for the ride of your life with an armed hold-up, murder, mayhem, benevolent bikies, Government cover-ups and a madcap journey in a sidecar.
Martin Carter's life couldn't get any lower. His wife is playing the field, his step-children hate him and the bank he manages is closing today; his fiftieth birthday.
With a mid-life crisis looming Martin decides to hold up the armoured car delivering the payouts for the local miners. He steals a police car and goes on the run. Along the way he meets up with Faith, an ex-librarian ready to have some fun.
Originally published in 2003, and re-released this year by Clan Destine Press, McGeachin decided to stick with the year 2000 setting. It was a simpler time before smartphones, limited social media and the search for the perfect cup of coffee.
It is very easy to like Martin, the underdog, and barrack for him along the way. Faith is also a fabulous character, putting her librarian smarts to use throughout the journey.
Fat, Fifty & Fu*ked is fast-paced, witty, wild and outrageously funny, served with a side dish of romance.
It's a book I found hard to put down wanting to know how Martin and Faith would get out of this mess.
Fat, Fifty & Fu*ked is the funniest book I have read in a while.
Set in the fictitious small country town of Burrinjuruk, Fat, Fifty and Fu*ked is the quintessential Australian novel. The small town is dying since the main road was diverted and the local bank is the latest business to be closed down. Get ready for the ride of your life with an armed hold-up, murder, mayhem, benevolent bikies, Government cover-ups and a madcap journey in a sidecar.
Martin Carter's life couldn't get any lower. His wife is playing the field, his step-children hate him and the bank he manages is closing today; his fiftieth birthday.
With a mid-life crisis looming Martin decides to hold up the armoured car delivering the payouts for the local miners. He steals a police car and goes on the run. Along the way he meets up with Faith, an ex-librarian ready to have some fun.
Originally published in 2003, and re-released this year by Clan Destine Press, McGeachin decided to stick with the year 2000 setting. It was a simpler time before smartphones, limited social media and the search for the perfect cup of coffee.
It is very easy to like Martin, the underdog, and barrack for him along the way. Faith is also a fabulous character, putting her librarian smarts to use throughout the journey.
Fat, Fifty & Fu*ked is fast-paced, witty, wild and outrageously funny, served with a side dish of romance.
It's a book I found hard to put down wanting to know how Martin and Faith would get out of this mess.
Fat, Fifty & Fu*ked is the funniest book I have read in a while.
September 18, 2014
An enjoyable read that is not meant to be taken too seriously. Very Australian in language and at times Laugh Out Loud funny. It reminded me a lot of Robert G. Barrett's Les Norton novels, and is a pre-cursor to the DED spy books that McGeachin subsequently wrote.
June 24, 2015
I loved the snappy dialogue and often very Australian humour. For example the following discussion with the owner of a hamburger joint:
“… left my wallet … back at the station” Martin explained. The man shrugged “Don’t worry about it that’s cool. … We usually give free lunches to cops in uniform.” “Just like McDonald’s” Martin said. The man considered this. “I guess you could say we’re very like McDonalds in many respects, apart from the international franchise aspect, the consistent food quality and the customer focussed service plus that whole business success side of things”. “And the uniforms” Martin suggested.
“… left my wallet … back at the station” Martin explained. The man shrugged “Don’t worry about it that’s cool. … We usually give free lunches to cops in uniform.” “Just like McDonald’s” Martin said. The man considered this. “I guess you could say we’re very like McDonalds in many respects, apart from the international franchise aspect, the consistent food quality and the customer focussed service plus that whole business success side of things”. “And the uniforms” Martin suggested.
September 13, 2020
What a fabulously ozfunk book, you couldn’t get any more okker than this. In the same vein as croc Dundee, you’ll laugh out loud in all the right places, especially the “on point” one liners at the end of a chapter.
Do not expect literary amazement, just strap yourself in, crab a can, snacks and your best thongs or slippers and enjoy the ride.
Do not expect literary amazement, just strap yourself in, crab a can, snacks and your best thongs or slippers and enjoy the ride.
June 25, 2018
I listened to the audiobook. A new to me author. This was a funny tale from start to finish. Many laugh out loud moments. The author has a wonderful talent to tell a tale. I’ll definitely be reading more from this author.
September 13, 2020
What a ride! A great audio book with plenty of laugh out loud moments. Easy to listen to, very witty and so Australian! 3.5 stars.
December 1, 2021
Perfect studio audio book. 3.5 for the slap and tickle!
This is my second McGeachan and won’t be the last!
Funny and fast paced with great characters that seem to be interwoven in other books and story lines.
Really easy listening.
💥
This is my second McGeachan and won’t be the last!
Funny and fast paced with great characters that seem to be interwoven in other books and story lines.
Really easy listening.
💥
March 29, 2013
I got to the end of this book and I was really unsure about what I thought.
In a nutshell, Martin, your every friendly bank manager is not having the best of days. His wife, is cheating on him, he does not exist as far as the step kids are concerned and today is the last day on the job as the bank is closing for good. Martin has been thinking his life is so bad that suicide seems like a really good option instead he decides to rob the bank of its last payroll. From here the adventure begins as Martin meets Faith a savvy and sexy Librarian and with a million dollars worth of dosh decide to head up North and catch up with an old school friend of Martin's.
There is humour, there is lectures on asylum seekers and racism and a sympathetic ear for breast cancer and old age homes.
There were a couple of things that bugged me, first was so many off the wall characters. You would think from this novel that driving around Australia every person you meet is going to be a larger than life character. There were too many crammed into this novel. You never get to appreciate a character they meet because the next character is more outrageous than the one you just met.
The there was a lot of coincidences in the novel, a lot and though they kept the story moving along a couple of times I groaned as it was just so obvious.
The relationship between Martin and Faith was nicely built up and was well developed. I found it odd that it was only in the last handful of pages that we find out what happened to Martin's family. It almost seemed like the author went oops better tie that loose end up.
One last annoyance was that this story really was all about how money makes you happier, it was not that Martin found Faith, it was that he had money to impress Faith.
Plus there was no way Martin was losing weight, sorry not with the amount of food that was described in this novel, there was tons of it.
The book was ok, it had moments but it was a quick read for a slow day.
In a nutshell, Martin, your every friendly bank manager is not having the best of days. His wife, is cheating on him, he does not exist as far as the step kids are concerned and today is the last day on the job as the bank is closing for good. Martin has been thinking his life is so bad that suicide seems like a really good option instead he decides to rob the bank of its last payroll. From here the adventure begins as Martin meets Faith a savvy and sexy Librarian and with a million dollars worth of dosh decide to head up North and catch up with an old school friend of Martin's.
There is humour, there is lectures on asylum seekers and racism and a sympathetic ear for breast cancer and old age homes.
There were a couple of things that bugged me, first was so many off the wall characters. You would think from this novel that driving around Australia every person you meet is going to be a larger than life character. There were too many crammed into this novel. You never get to appreciate a character they meet because the next character is more outrageous than the one you just met.
The there was a lot of coincidences in the novel, a lot and though they kept the story moving along a couple of times I groaned as it was just so obvious.
The relationship between Martin and Faith was nicely built up and was well developed. I found it odd that it was only in the last handful of pages that we find out what happened to Martin's family. It almost seemed like the author went oops better tie that loose end up.
One last annoyance was that this story really was all about how money makes you happier, it was not that Martin found Faith, it was that he had money to impress Faith.
Plus there was no way Martin was losing weight, sorry not with the amount of food that was described in this novel, there was tons of it.
The book was ok, it had moments but it was a quick read for a slow day.
August 28, 2015
Expletives in the title? Yeah, let's dash a few letters out, wouldn't want anyone to realise someone wrote a "naughty" word.
The story follows the adventure of Martin Carter, a bank manager in a small dying town. Martin's life is a huge disappointment, so instead of buying a sports car he robs his bank and goes on the run. Pursued by a security agency, meeting all sorts of interesting Aussie characters, and trying to find the elusive perfect breakfast, Martin does the midlife crisis in style.
As a long time fan of Geoff McGeachin's writing, it was a pleasure to pick up one of his humorous novels again, after reading his award winning Black Wattle Creek. Can't have humour in a book and have it win awards. There are rules. Fat, Fifty and Fucked is Geoff's first novel and sets the template for his irreverent, humorous, fun, and foodie writing style that his Alby Murdoch novels utilised. I also think Geoff captures the stereotypical Aussie characters and humour in a way that few other authors manage, even if some would find this off-putting, despite how he doesn't go the full Alf Stewart.
Great yarn: well worth a read.
The story follows the adventure of Martin Carter, a bank manager in a small dying town. Martin's life is a huge disappointment, so instead of buying a sports car he robs his bank and goes on the run. Pursued by a security agency, meeting all sorts of interesting Aussie characters, and trying to find the elusive perfect breakfast, Martin does the midlife crisis in style.
As a long time fan of Geoff McGeachin's writing, it was a pleasure to pick up one of his humorous novels again, after reading his award winning Black Wattle Creek. Can't have humour in a book and have it win awards. There are rules. Fat, Fifty and Fucked is Geoff's first novel and sets the template for his irreverent, humorous, fun, and foodie writing style that his Alby Murdoch novels utilised. I also think Geoff captures the stereotypical Aussie characters and humour in a way that few other authors manage, even if some would find this off-putting, despite how he doesn't go the full Alf Stewart.
Great yarn: well worth a read.
July 13, 2019
Got this from the Wyndham Library as on audio book, listened to it for about an hour each day on my morning walk.
Is the story of Martin Carter, a bank manager going through a mid-life crisis who has a brain-snap and robs his own bank. Much like the scene in the Simpsons where Homer is shown his life would be much better if he marries Mindy, doing the worst possible thing works out for the best.
The plot may be pure male wish-fulfillment and I kept expecting it to end badly but I was happy that it didn't real life is far too depressing as it is. I have been watching too many bleak arthouse movies and films where people get beaten into the shape of a pretzel.
Narration by Peter Hosking was handled well including the voices of all the characters.
Is the story of Martin Carter, a bank manager going through a mid-life crisis who has a brain-snap and robs his own bank. Much like the scene in the Simpsons where Homer is shown his life would be much better if he marries Mindy, doing the worst possible thing works out for the best.
The plot may be pure male wish-fulfillment and I kept expecting it to end badly but I was happy that it didn't real life is far too depressing as it is. I have been watching too many bleak arthouse movies and films where people get beaten into the shape of a pretzel.
Narration by Peter Hosking was handled well including the voices of all the characters.
July 2, 2022
Great fun & had me giggling quite frequently.
Martin is on the run. Well, when you feel life is going nowhere it's either end it or rob your local bank, is it not? Lucky for Martin he's got somewhere to run to - an old friend, Jack Stark, if he's still alive. He meets the absolutely brilliant Faith along the way, as well as some other delightful characters in passing - I think that's the retirement home for me!
This is McGeachin's first published work &, I only realised when I was partway in, a bit of a prequel to the Alby Murdoch series. I'd just finished his wonderful St Kilda Blues so this was just the comic relief I needed after that very serious tale.
Peter Hosking does a wonderful job, as usual.
Martin is on the run. Well, when you feel life is going nowhere it's either end it or rob your local bank, is it not? Lucky for Martin he's got somewhere to run to - an old friend, Jack Stark, if he's still alive. He meets the absolutely brilliant Faith along the way, as well as some other delightful characters in passing - I think that's the retirement home for me!
This is McGeachin's first published work &, I only realised when I was partway in, a bit of a prequel to the Alby Murdoch series. I'd just finished his wonderful St Kilda Blues so this was just the comic relief I needed after that very serious tale.
Peter Hosking does a wonderful job, as usual.
March 18, 2020
What a Bloody Hoot!
The first few chapters had me questioning what i had picked up to be honest. The further I read the more enjoyable the story got.
A very far fetched, humorous tale indeed! I wouldn't mind growing old in that resthome however, oceanside was it?
The aussie slang may be a bit much for anyone not familiar with the country but as a kiwi I found it spot on.
Look forward to reading more from you Geoffery McGeachin
The first few chapters had me questioning what i had picked up to be honest. The further I read the more enjoyable the story got.
A very far fetched, humorous tale indeed! I wouldn't mind growing old in that resthome however, oceanside was it?
The aussie slang may be a bit much for anyone not familiar with the country but as a kiwi I found it spot on.
Look forward to reading more from you Geoffery McGeachin
April 5, 2018
not his best work (his 1st novel). unfortunately i read this after the charlie berlin books which are much better. it is a better than average holiday read. but the characters and plot are implausible and dont ring true, even though they are all likeable enough.
August 5, 2019
Stand-alone prequel to DED Dead. Another rollicking good yarn of a bank manager in mid-life crisis on the run with the million dollars he took from his bank, and the larger-than-life characters he encounters along the way
October 20, 2024
The story telling style and sense of humour reminded me a lot of Jonas Jonasson - with an Australian twist.
I'll be adding more Geoffrey McGeachin books to my reading wishlist. Hope htey live up to this.
I'll be adding more Geoffrey McGeachin books to my reading wishlist. Hope htey live up to this.
November 13, 2025
Quite a hilarious heist cum road trip, if you enjoy the style of white colonialist rural humour. Still have no idea why the initial bank robbery was suppressed and the thief followed all the way to FNQ.
June 10, 2017
A great read with enough twists and turns to keep you wondering how it would end. It doesn't disappoint. I would read other novels by this author. Recommended.
June 20, 2017
A fun read that's farcical in places and quite amusing.
July 1, 2017
Crocodile Dundee meets MacGyver in a bank heist. Very enjoyable, very Aussie & an easy entertaining read!
September 19, 2020
I love almost anything this dude writes! He captures all the tropes of a typical Australian life but without it being eye-rollingly cliche.
September 23, 2020
This started great end was ok too but there was just a lot of nothing in between
November 15, 2020
An entertaining gem of a book full of Aussie humour.
Well worth the read!
Well worth the read!
November 21, 2020
Was a fun read
August 31, 2021
Great fun!
December 11, 2021
Loved it.
Entertaining, fun read.
Entertaining, fun read.
August 17, 2023
Hilarious!
October 23, 2023
Enjoyed this pretty fast paced and amusing read
January 2, 2025
I love books that feature kick-ass librarians and this has a great one!
It’s a slapstick comedy of a crime adventure and one could just see it becoming a Netflix series.
It’s a slapstick comedy of a crime adventure and one could just see it becoming a Netflix series.
November 18, 2025
Really funny take of a guy who's had enough & becomes an outlaw
January 18, 2024
‘Thank God for the Innovations mail order catalogue. Infidelity could now be made easily visible and timed right down to the minute.’
Excuse me while I get ready to tell you about the most entertaining story I’ve read for quite a while. [Hang on a minute (… muffled inaudible voice in the background, abruptly silenced…) I just had to have words with my internal moral police. For some reason they are objecting to my finding humour in a bank robbery.] Anyway, where was I?
Meet Martin Carter. Poor bloke, he is miserable at home, no-one has remembered his birthday, and today is his last day as the manager of the Burrinjuruk branch of the Federal Austwide Sansho Banking Corporation. You’ve never heard of Burrinjuruk? That could be because it is a small, dying, fictitious town in regional Australia. The meatworks (the major employer) is about to close and so is the bank. So, there’s Martin, an unemployed overweight bank manager who has just turned fifty. But the last day will be a big one: because the meatworks employees are paid in cash, the bank receives a huge payroll delivery.
Okay, so Martin and his staff prepare. The cash is delivered, and Martin makes a split-second decision which changes the course of his life. Yes, Martin robs the bank! He gets away in a stolen police car, is involved in a murder and then heads north in the sidecar of a stolen Indian motorcycle with Faith, a former librarian.
[Hang on a minute, my internal moral police are protesting again (… inaudible voice, followed by a yelp and then silence…) finally sorted.]
This story has it all: a bikie gang running an aged care facility (it would have five-star reviews), a reclusive rich guy, a crazy hitman, and some strange government people in black cars. Strangely, there does not seem to be any media coverage of the bank robbery. Hmm.
Martin and Faith head north, to an old schoolmate of Martin’s. What will happen next? Will Martin find the Great Aussie Truckstop Breakfast of his dreams? Will he learn that the best coffee is not (shudder) instant? What does the future hold for Martin and Faith?
This outrageously funny novel, set in 2000 was first published in 2003. This re-release takes us back twenty years, to life before ubiquitous smartphones and social media. Bravo Mr McGeachin: I love your work!
I really enjoyed this novel and offer my thanks to Clan Destine Press for offering me a review copy.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Excuse me while I get ready to tell you about the most entertaining story I’ve read for quite a while. [Hang on a minute (… muffled inaudible voice in the background, abruptly silenced…) I just had to have words with my internal moral police. For some reason they are objecting to my finding humour in a bank robbery.] Anyway, where was I?
Meet Martin Carter. Poor bloke, he is miserable at home, no-one has remembered his birthday, and today is his last day as the manager of the Burrinjuruk branch of the Federal Austwide Sansho Banking Corporation. You’ve never heard of Burrinjuruk? That could be because it is a small, dying, fictitious town in regional Australia. The meatworks (the major employer) is about to close and so is the bank. So, there’s Martin, an unemployed overweight bank manager who has just turned fifty. But the last day will be a big one: because the meatworks employees are paid in cash, the bank receives a huge payroll delivery.
Okay, so Martin and his staff prepare. The cash is delivered, and Martin makes a split-second decision which changes the course of his life. Yes, Martin robs the bank! He gets away in a stolen police car, is involved in a murder and then heads north in the sidecar of a stolen Indian motorcycle with Faith, a former librarian.
[Hang on a minute, my internal moral police are protesting again (… inaudible voice, followed by a yelp and then silence…) finally sorted.]
This story has it all: a bikie gang running an aged care facility (it would have five-star reviews), a reclusive rich guy, a crazy hitman, and some strange government people in black cars. Strangely, there does not seem to be any media coverage of the bank robbery. Hmm.
Martin and Faith head north, to an old schoolmate of Martin’s. What will happen next? Will Martin find the Great Aussie Truckstop Breakfast of his dreams? Will he learn that the best coffee is not (shudder) instant? What does the future hold for Martin and Faith?
This outrageously funny novel, set in 2000 was first published in 2003. This re-release takes us back twenty years, to life before ubiquitous smartphones and social media. Bravo Mr McGeachin: I love your work!
I really enjoyed this novel and offer my thanks to Clan Destine Press for offering me a review copy.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews