Hard Pressed

Calm and Chaos #2

by Sharon Maria Bidwell

Sequel to Acting Out

When one man has the worst of reputations and believes any misfortune befalling him is deserved, it’s hard to feel worthy of love. Can absolution arrive in three little words?

Journalist Phillip Drake is beginning to doubt the career he’s chosen, his motivation, his whole existence. When an assignment arises to trail up and coming, and coming out, actor Gary Caldwell he’s well aware it’s his duty to dig for dirt ... and when Caldwell seems less than co-operative, Phillip half-convinces himself he’ll be happy to do so.

Gary has always been attracted to the reporter and finds it difficult to maintain a distance. Something is going on with Drake, not least of all the surprising revelation when Gary realises Drake is gay, and the attraction is mutual.

After an intimate encounter, Drake disappears and Gary sets out to unravel a mystery that not only involves tracking down the reporter’s whereabouts, but may also explain why Drake has done the things he has, why Drake harbours more than a little self-hate and more than emotional scars, and why the one thing Drake doesn’t believe he deserves -- love -- is the one thing he’s worthy of.

Genres: Contemporary

228 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 27, 2014

About the author

During Sharon’s writing career she’s lived in a house with a Harry Potter cupboard under the stairs, shared a publisher with the creator of Roger Rabbit, and has taken a trip to Jupiter. Only one of these has been in her imagination.

The first short story she submitted — Silver Apples of the Moon — was accepted by Roadworks Magazine. The editor announced her as “a writer who is going places” and described the story as having “both a Sci-fi and horror element,” and being “strong on characterisation, and quite literary, in terms of style.” Subsequently, she was approached to write all reports and publicity material, including a piece for translation into Braille for The Really Wild Nursery and Arthritis Care Breaking Down the Barriers garden project, which took place at the Malvern Spring Show.

Since then, her work has appeared steadily in both print and electronic publications, such as Midnight Street, Aoife’s Kiss (Sam’s Dot Publishing), Night To Dawn, and Radgepacket (Byker Books). Her short story — Bitter and Intoxicating — was snapped up for inclusion in the anthology Red Velvet and Absinthe. This compilation, edited by Mitzi Szereto with a foreword by Kelly Armstrong, was designed to evoke the romantic ethos of classic Gothic fiction with a serving of eroticism. With a repertoire of twisted tales and a love of cross-genre writing, it surprised everyone (including herself) when she branched out into erotic romance. These works have been critically acclaimed and often described as ‘deeply passionate’.

Sharon’s worlds are vivid, unexpected and sometimes intensely magical. Sharon writes whatever her warped mind can come up with and is quite capable of writing something darker, grittier, and even outright twisted. Though her love for all things Myth and Legend has led her to write under more than one name, from 2019 she's using S.M.Bidwell for her Dark Fiction.

She was propelled into the Steampunk universe of Space, 1899 and beyond, winning approval of series creator and award-winning game designer, Frank Chadwick, with three books, one of which was co-authored with editor (and writer) Andy Frankham-Allen, and subsequently led to her writing for the Lethbridge-Stewart series, and a short audio story for Doctor Who, performed by Katy Manning.

She's also on Goodreads under the name Sharon Bidwell.

Reviews

[clear skies · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a big fan of Sharon Maria Bidwell and it pains me to rate this book so low. Unfortunately I can't let my judgement be clouded no matter how much I like an author.

I liked the first book in the Calm and Chaos series but this book was hard to get into.

The Characters

Phillip Drake is a journalist for a tabloid basically - despite his issues about being ultimately a paparazzi he does have an element of fear and respect going for him. Phillip has issues about his job and more so because he tends to spend time outing gay men. Not because he's homophobic because he feels like they shouldn't be lying. Phillip is a seriously messed up character and his reasons for outing people is quite scary. As a gay man himself he can't come out but forcing others to do what he couldn't was quite disturbing. His mind read very brainwashed and cultish to me (and maybe not intended but it is what I felt). He was also severely abused as a child - and watched his mother being abused by his father also. He grew up totally messed up and even though his father had died he still haunted Phillip. I can say that Phillip was extremely well developed and interesting and I felt his pain.

Gary Caldwell: The actor Phillip is following (by permission) for a week. Gary is gay and doesn't really care who knows. He is attracted to Phillip and that's it. Gary is a sweet character but ultimately he was there as a fodder for Phillip.

What I liked

Phillip Drake was two-dimensional and well written - he could be hard to read at most times but he was flawed and the author did not pull punches with him. His background and issues weren't mere obstacles to get over. He was damaged and at times I was unsure whether I liked him or not, but he was well written no doubt.

What I didn't like

1. I mentioned this before but the prose needs to be broken down a lot. The dialogue is slim at times and the most of the book is written via inner thoughts. That's fine but I felt like I was reading chucks of paragraphs for 97% of each chapter.

2. Again it came across a bit preachy as per the previous book.

3. The enquiry at the end - whilst current in what has happened in the UK regarding the media. I felt like it read more like a wikipedia page article for those who don't live in the UK. Thus it came across as 101 rather than a part of the story telling.

4. The relationship - I did not buy into the pairing of Phillip/Gary no matter how much time passed. I'm not sure what Gary offered but yeah Gary could have been anyone and it would have evoked the same passion in me...nothing.

5. Interchanging first and surname...I wish author's wouldn't do that.

Overall, I can appreciate the character of Phillip and ultimately the author is a GOOD writer but more often than not the storytelling gets bogged down too much.

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the book at first. The way the relationship came about was different and different usually captures my attention. My biggest problem was that the beginning was the highlight for me. It it a plateau after that. The romance between Phillip and Gary never felt genuine. I knew why Gary wanted to be with Phillip but was never convinced that Phillip loved Gary. Gary was convenient, comforting, and a really nice guy, but there wasn't anything that made him special or "the one" for Phillip.

[CoffeeTimeRomance andMore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Phillip Drake will never win a popularity contest, yet there is much more to the man than his public persona. With Gary’s prodding, his emotions are leaking all over the place, which is not exactly to Phillip’s liking. It is so engaging to watch Gary work his magic on Phillip. You really want him to succeed, even though Phillip throws up every roadblock he can think of.
Lototy
Reviewer for Coffee Time Romance & More
Official Review @ Coffee Time Romance & More