The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law

by Mark Herrmann

This collection of essays written by The Curmudgeon, offers practical, honest and you need to know this advice for surviving and thriving in a law firm. The book covers the basics of law practice and law firm etiquette, from doing effective research and writing to dressing for success, dealing with staff and clients and building a law practice. Concise, humorous and full of valuable (albeit curmudgeonly) insight, this is a must-read for every newly minted law school graduate or new lawyer.

Genres: Law, Nonfiction, Humor, Reference, Legal

135 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Kitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

During my third year of law school, an associate at the firm I was clerking for gave this book to me to read. I believe whole heartily this is the one book your should read (apart from your textbooks) during law school. Read it earlier rather than later in your career. It is not only hilarious, but accurate...scary accurate to what you should be doing your first few years out of law school.

The book is small, but contained within its pages are years of wisdom that can make or break your legal career. It contains not only common sense, but also enlightening advice that every clerk and associate should know.

[Brendan Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book for lawyers. Very well-written and, depending on your sense of humor, very funny. I enjoyed the style and content. I would recommend this book to all lawyers in private practice, especially young litigators.

[JK · Rating 1 out of 5]

The about the author section let’s you know Mark graduated top of his class from a fancy law school and is a partner at a firm whose name you know.

There is no denying that Mark has attained the dream that fuels many sleep deprived 1Ls. But for all his success, his advice can be lumped into 2 categories. The first category is as useful as it is harmful: not very. Write clearly, be nice to subordinates.

The second category of advice is how to be as unethical as possible, yet still legally permissible. (I’m not sure how anyone read the deposition chapter thinking otherwise. But looking at the overall rating of this book, I guess I’m in a small minority) Mark makes it clear that he not only knows the “game,” but he loves it.

Creating an alter ego is cringy. Embracing that alter ego to write a book a little cringier. Writing fake and didactic memos in character a little bit cringier. But I think even Nathan Fielder would wince at “let me get a fourth beer” with the reader.

The book is at its best when he complains about voicemail etiquette. He is correct, he is a curmudgeon, but it takes more than observation and irritation to become even an ersatz Larry David.

[Dany Campos-Rojano · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick, breviloquent, pithy, memorable, witty, and most importantly 'useful' (in a very narrow sense of the word), there are many curmudgeonly adjectives attributable to this guide. Curmudgeon wrote this book not to teach us about law, but to establish a systematic framework for approaching the fundamentally unteachable practice of the legal industry. It's a learned game, a dirty battle, a frighteningly fragile race to find out the winners. There are no rules, only rulers at the end of the day.

This viewpoint is of course inherently narrow and not encompassing of our actual reality; and that's not the point. Rather, it is an intentional mental register that Curmudgeon turns on when it's go time. When it's time to show up and get results. In an argument, which is the primary function of a lawyer on behalf of their client, Curmudgeon chides us to use active verbs: 'be more persuasive' transforms into 'persuade better'; 'be faster' transforms into 'respond faster'; 'be confident' transforms into 'act confidently'; you get the point. However, if you've noticed, I use a lot of 'to be' verbs in this review. Why is that? Because I'm not engaged in that argumentative mode right now, and I don't want [to be]. Why not? Because I am writing a review: I wish to formulate interesting takeaways I had from the book, to reflect and connect the dots, to linger on intuitions and reactions. I am on a different intellectual mode when writing this reflection. This review would most definitely not constitute an argumentative essay I might expect a college professor to assign me in a classroom setting, and it shouldn't. There are different contexts for different types of writing, and I am disciplining myself to practice multiple writing styles. I want to practice writing reviews; I wish to continue practicing to write argumentative essays; I need to persistently train my email-writing correspondence for my job. One thing Curmudgeon absolutely nails is the essence of habitual learning, initially formalized under Aristotle if I recall correctly. Under this system, virtue can be reckoned as the net sum of a set of habitualized practices and disciplines. The aesthetic of writing towards the procurement of virtue is the process of writing per se, with no viable substitutions. There isn't any other way to get better at writing or being a lawyer; just do. 'Practice makes better' - page 85 of the book. Great line.

As I have said with my previous book on the history of cryptocurrency, this book is inevitably a product of its time. It is quite rough on the edges with regards to technological innovations; having been written in 2006, this is completely understandable and makes for some rough, laughable, and truly curmudgeonly talking points with regards to email correspondence and technology usage during meetings. Times have changed, remote work is everywhere, efficiency has increased, things are different in good and bad ways.

Nevertheless, I got super inspired by the last chapter on how to expand business and potentially start your own practice as a litigator in your own right. How do you do it? Interact with the legal world: contribute, work, put your name out there, talk, meet, learn, love, respect, argue, disagree, shout, fight. There are a bunch of lovely suggestions that I will most DEFINITELY be coming back to refer to later on when I start implementing those suggestions into my lawyerly routine at some point.

This book is clearly made with a bunch of love and heart. It inspired me to write more, to read more, to be aggressive, to follow what I love, to get involved, to be part of the community, and to produce good work. Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law was a great read. 4.25 stars.

[Bartlett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I constantly reference this text. Many of the good habits I've picked up as a litigator have come from poring over the short and to-the-point pages of the Curmudgeon's Guide.

This is one of the few books that I look forward to recommending to new lawyers. Why? It is supremely practical. No fluff. None. No wasted anecdotes or navel-gazing, just chock-full of sensible, well-reasoned advice. I can almost guarantee that Curmudgeon's Guide can transform any half-wit that barely stumbled through their law school exams into a functional, competent young litigator.

While I have just graduated beyond legal n00b status (8+ years in), I still refresh from Curmudgeon's Guide from time to time.

An excellent reference text. 5 stars. Would read again.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book buried in a cabinet at work and, after skimming a few pages, decided to read the whole thing. I’m glad that I did. I thought it was full of solid advice for young legal professionals and gave an insightful view into the mind of a seasoned attorney. As a librarian in a law firm, I found the section on legal research particularly interesting because, even if the technology has changed, the fundamentals of the practice of law haven’t.

[Jonathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book to rate yourself as a lawyer. I felt like reading Catcher in the rye book once again. Jokes apart there is no yelling, only correcting as a senior counsel to a upcoming lawyer. Tips, nitty gritty things new lawyers do, it is the best thing to bully ourself to read this book.

Well good attempt on mocking the lawyers, what are the pitfalls, growing like a developed lawyer, calling what, it is that it is. So simple.

[Christen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good summary for how a junior attorney can best work with a senior attorney. I reread this every few years when I get ready to give away another copy. It suffers a bit from age, due to changing technology. But the overall ideas and much of the specific advice is still very applicable and important.

[Leigh Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick read, great advice! Going to recommend it to all my interns.

[Lia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This text was informative, sarcastic, and witty. Herrmann gives a good "heads-up" for aspiring lawyers. I learned a lot from this text, and I will continue to look back on it in the upcoming future.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Geared more towards litigation, however, a nice, short book with some helpful tips and reminders about how to be respectful, responsible, and successful early on in one’s legal career.

[Ala · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome light read, with great tips and solve sense of humor.

[Michael Pepe · Rating 5 out of 5]

After 13 years of practice, i re-read this once a year, and give this to every new associate in my office.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful and informative. Focused on starting a career in litigation.

[Mikayli Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given this to read at work but it was actually so funny and gave really solid advice.

[Stephen Bling · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great read for a 1L.

[Robert Bunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing Book!!

Every attorney should read this and give it to their staff for them to read, understand, and implement. Straight talk, and invaluable perspective!

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read off the shelf at my in-laws.

Made note of:
- general preferring “that” to “which.”
- not beginning a sentence with “however.”
- don’t bill time; learn the piano.
- use your first year as an associate to really read and learn the law.
- publish in trade publications while an associate.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would say that my love for this book is a sure sign that I am getting old, but I have kept a copy close-at-hand since law school (right next to my treasured copy of The Bluebook), so I guess it just means that I am a nerd. It sets forth expectations for young associates in a concise, grumpy manner -- not unlike the manner of many of the partners for whom they will be working. I have given copies to a number of my mentees over the years; I think firms should give a copy to all new associates. An example:

"If the brief is due on Monday, do no deliver a first draft to me at 7:00 on Friday night. What will I think? 'This jerk has decided to blow up my weekend so that I can review this and put it in final form.' Even worse, do not hand me a brief at 7:00 on Tuesday and offer to come in early Wednesday to get my comments. Trust me: This is an offer I can refuse. What's the idea? You get to work during business hours, and I'm forced to work nights and weekends? If there is any chance that your draft will require substantial revisions -- and I promise you, there is -- deliver it early. That is the only way to ensure that you and I can perform our work on a mutually convenient schedule."

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law by Mark Hermann is a short, snappy guide full of years of law firm wisdom for young associates delivered tongue-in-cheek–and yet quite seriously at the same time.

Hermann lives up to the “curmudgeon” in the title with page after page of “the truth hurts” kind of knowledge, offering advice on writing memoranda as an associate, entering time so clients will pay for it, building a practice, and so much more. Several parts of the book were laugh-out-loud funny for me; the Curmudgeon’s Law Dictionary is especially entertaining.

But beneath the cutting remarks and sarcasm, the reader should never lose sight of the solid information contained in this slim volume; the part about why turning to the computer first for research causes the Curmudgeon to “foam at the mouth” is likely one of the most illuminating points in the book for young associates.

Entertaining, compact, and simply a pleasure to read, The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law would be a great choice for anyone entering the legal profession including aspiring law students, which is why I give it my highest recommendation.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my professors told me this book would be the most helpful book I ever read before I graduated law school. I waited for it to come in the mail with baited breath. When it arrived, I was appalled. It was so... Shrimpy.

It. Was. Amazing.

The book is full of practical advice that I wish I had known my first year of law school, let alone now. Additionally, it is written in the charming and hilarious voice of the "Curmudgeon"- Mark Herrmann. I recommend this book to any young professional.

Go read it now!

Re-read it!

[YouMo Mi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Received this concise tongue-in-cheek guide during law school, written from the perspective of a fictionalized humorously harsh BigLaw partner. Didn't really understand it at the time, but having worked at a large law firm for the past 6 months, the sage advice offered is a great wake up call on where associates fail, how to do basic tasks to the satisfaction of partners/clients, and how to develop your own practice. Give yourself a few months in a large law firm and this book will become a great reference.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know, I know, there's something sad about reading books about practicing law in your spare time from practicing law. But this one was a great primer. While my head was fogged at work with work details of memos and briefs, this book helped remind me of the simple truths of firm practice. Consider it LRW for the 1st yr associate. Worth the short time required to read it.

[Nelson Rosario · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading this book I feel sufficiently curmudgeonly to practice law. Joking aside, this book is a fantastic straightforward collection of practical tips on practicing law. A lot of it is common sense, but presented in a way that drives home the importance of what seems obvious. Sumed up: be nice, be courteous, be thorough, and be thoughtful.

[Foster · Rating 3 out of 5]

The curmudgeon provides good information for all of us, not just lawyers. These include good advice on how to write, how to argue, and how to set up your voicemail message. Recommended for general "how to do good work" advice.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a fun and cute read for any new or young lawyers. It is full of the Curmudgeon's tongue and cheek advice on practicing law, some of which I agree with and have reiterated to our starting associates.

[Zeb Snyder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful insights are hidden behind the author's biting sarcasm. This is a must-read because it teaches young lawyers that they are replaceable cogs until they prove themselves. A copy should be issued to every law student before they start their first clerkship.

[Ke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book succinctly informs law students and junior lawyers of the legal profession, especially litigation. While I think there is much more to learn about legal writing, taking depositions, etc, this guide provides a pithy overview.

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good advice; read it.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Too expensive on a dollar-per-page basis but still worth it