What do you think?
Rate this book
At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed
Saint James Street James is a tall, extremely muscular, 32-year-old man whose attributes and possessions include a mind stronger than Socrates on acid; a magnificent horse he loves more than anything in the world; a package so large that it requires a signature; a beautiful, passionate wife with a rack so perfect it belongs on a billiard table; a shit ton of children; and his own personal gold mine. His life, set in 1849 against the backdrop of the California gold rush, is one long parade of amazing sex, dynamite montages, and whiskey. But when the Schlager Brothers come to town, so too comes the end of the good times. St. James is forced to defend everything that matters to him. God help anyone who stands in his way.
Audible Audio
First published January 1, 2015
38 people are currently reading
320 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
August 24, 2015
Freaking ridiculous; awful and funny.
July 28, 2015
After reading this book, I've hit puberty for the second time due to the testosterone oozing from these pages. A quick synopsis is imagine Sterling Archer being dropped into the west during the gold rush.
Saint James Street James is a cocky (he will tell you in more ways than one) a-hole. His brashness and machismo is extremely entertaining for the first half of the book, but it then gets repetitive. The story follows our "hero" through his ups and downs while he searches for revenge. It's an excellent send up of typical western romances (ahem...I would assume...not that I read that stuff). A fun read, especially if your an Archer fan and just picture him as SJSJ.
Helpful hint: there are some mature drawings at the start of most chapters, so careful if you are reading this at work.
Saint James Street James is a cocky (he will tell you in more ways than one) a-hole. His brashness and machismo is extremely entertaining for the first half of the book, but it then gets repetitive. The story follows our "hero" through his ups and downs while he searches for revenge. It's an excellent send up of typical western romances (ahem...I would assume...not that I read that stuff). A fun read, especially if your an Archer fan and just picture him as SJSJ.
Helpful hint: there are some mature drawings at the start of most chapters, so careful if you are reading this at work.
October 11, 2020
Such a cool idea for a book, and then page 1 happens. There's actual writers out there that can't get book deals, yet this shit gets published. It's like Tucker Max had brain damage and got a hold of a crayon. Ross Patterson should be ashamed of himself.
June 26, 2015
A lot of people have seen me reading this and asked how it is. I hand them the book and say "open to literally any page." 90% do so, say something like "wtf?" and have a good laugh. These are people I want to know. 10% will look over a page and make a face like I just handed them a medical textbook with full color photos of advanced venereal disease symptoms [which I think may actually be in the book, come to think of it…]. These are people with whom I want nothing further to do. So, hey, good value. You get a funny book and a friendship touchstone in one.
August 9, 2015
There is genuinely a laugh out loud moment on every single page. It might be the craziest book I've ever read.
Read
July 27, 2015Talk about a funny library find. A real surprise from the 'new arrivals' shelf. Enough so that I think I will start doing these reviews again. It helps me keep up! An intentionally silly, goofy, nasty book (look at the cover). A spoof I guess, though it's tough to say what it is a spoof OF... maybe the Clint Eastwood style Western. Or a romance novel. Not sure. The back page summary is as good as what I could come up with:
"Our hero, Saint James Street James is a tall, extremely muscular, 32-year-old man whose attributes and possessions include a mind stronger than Socrates on acid, a magnificent horse he loves more than anything in the world, a package so large that it requires a signature, a beautiful, passionate wife with a rack so perfect it belongs on a billiard table, a ton of children, and his own personal gold mine. His life, set in 1849 against the backdrop of the California Gold Rush, is one long parade of amazing sex, dynamite montages, whiskey, and explosive gunfights. The kinds of things men could do when men were actually men. He is the richest man in town, loved and feared by all. But when the Schlager Brothers come to town, so too comes the end of the good times. St. James is forced to defend everything that matters to him: his prostitutes, his horse, his money, and his drugs. Oh, and his wife and children too, sort of. God help anyone who stands in his way."
"Our hero, Saint James Street James is a tall, extremely muscular, 32-year-old man whose attributes and possessions include a mind stronger than Socrates on acid, a magnificent horse he loves more than anything in the world, a package so large that it requires a signature, a beautiful, passionate wife with a rack so perfect it belongs on a billiard table, a ton of children, and his own personal gold mine. His life, set in 1849 against the backdrop of the California Gold Rush, is one long parade of amazing sex, dynamite montages, whiskey, and explosive gunfights. The kinds of things men could do when men were actually men. He is the richest man in town, loved and feared by all. But when the Schlager Brothers come to town, so too comes the end of the good times. St. James is forced to defend everything that matters to him: his prostitutes, his horse, his money, and his drugs. Oh, and his wife and children too, sort of. God help anyone who stands in his way."
September 21, 2015
I read this on a dare after taking a picture of it at Barnes and Noble due to how ridiculous it looked.
Imagine that Seth McFarlane and Sylvester Stallone decided to team-up and co-write a harlequin romance/comedy set during the gold rush. It’s full of unoriginal racist, misogynist, homophobic, classist, sophomoric, frat-boyesque jokes. And by that, I don’t mean that there are occasional jokes that skirt these subjects. I mean that the entire narrative takes pride in constantly reminding you are reading a book where someone says these things ALL THE TIME.
There are regular moments where the protagonist says something clearly anachronistic that entertained me, and I did chuckle at one bit where a clown scares a child, but that’s about it. It’s stupid, but it’s not stupid enough to pass as a parody, and not stupid enough to be stupid-funny.
I mean, I feel like you don’t need this review to tell you that you should avoid reading this. But still. Don’t read this.
Imagine that Seth McFarlane and Sylvester Stallone decided to team-up and co-write a harlequin romance/comedy set during the gold rush. It’s full of unoriginal racist, misogynist, homophobic, classist, sophomoric, frat-boyesque jokes. And by that, I don’t mean that there are occasional jokes that skirt these subjects. I mean that the entire narrative takes pride in constantly reminding you are reading a book where someone says these things ALL THE TIME.
There are regular moments where the protagonist says something clearly anachronistic that entertained me, and I did chuckle at one bit where a clown scares a child, but that’s about it. It’s stupid, but it’s not stupid enough to pass as a parody, and not stupid enough to be stupid-funny.
I mean, I feel like you don’t need this review to tell you that you should avoid reading this. But still. Don’t read this.
November 3, 2015
I had high hopes for this book when I first read the slip cover and skimmed a few pages before picking it up. A Romance Novel For Dudes? How could this not be good? I now know how. I expected humour mixed with satire and a little over the top adventure and while some of these elements are present they are few and far between. Removing the few decent bits from this novel leaves you with what is essentially a teenage boys' wet dream. Might have been a good read when I was 12-16 years old but not now. I have grown up and moved on and therefore can't recommend this to anyone who has graduated High School.
Read
August 29, 2017Wow.
So. This is a thing that happened.
This book was bought on a whim because look at that that title. Look at that cover. It's a "romance novel for dudes." Plus the summary is insane.
This was 40% over-the-top-hilarious and 60% offensive/demeaning. Yes, it's an equal opportunity offender, but it was too much most of the time. Yet, when it was funny, it was funny.
I cannot in good conscience recommend this (especially not to women), but if you read it and laugh like a lunatic and then immediately feel bad about yourself? I get it. I'm sorry and I get it.
The audiobook is read by the author and he has a great voice.
I need to go bleach my brain now.
So. This is a thing that happened.
This book was bought on a whim because look at that that title. Look at that cover. It's a "romance novel for dudes." Plus the summary is insane.
This was 40% over-the-top-hilarious and 60% offensive/demeaning. Yes, it's an equal opportunity offender, but it was too much most of the time. Yet, when it was funny, it was funny.
I cannot in good conscience recommend this (especially not to women), but if you read it and laugh like a lunatic and then immediately feel bad about yourself? I get it. I'm sorry and I get it.
The audiobook is read by the author and he has a great voice.
I need to go bleach my brain now.
June 3, 2015
What a quick, fun read! This book was an offensive (but in an amazingly humourous way!) escape away from the real world for half a day. If you want a satirical, adventurous romp back into California in the 1850s, then this one is for you! Provided that it takes a lot to offend you, that is. This girl thought it was pretty epic!
June 6, 2015
I feel like Tucker Max and Seth MacFarlane had a male child and sent him back in time to the Wild West... From there a whole lot of sex, killing, and general wild west debauchery ensues.. Very funny, and even though horribly offensive, makes you laugh..
August 14, 2015
I read this cover to cover in just over a day and I can honestly say that I've never laughed this hard in my entire life reading a book. I'm sure some people will be pissed off because of how non PC this is, but who cares.
June 29, 2015
Absolutely ridiculous, shameless and crass, but in a top-shelf, comedy gold, laugh-out-loud kind of way. What else could we expect of a romance novel for dudes?
December 14, 2015
This is a fantastic novel! If one likes crude humor and is not faint of heart, then one should read this book. It is an autobiography of a filthy rich man born in the mid west that became so filthy rich he lived to the age of 186. This book is the autobiography of Saint James Street James which is a very masculine and buff man who is a total jerk that everyone wants to be. Thought out the novel you see the change of heart. From the man who would kill another for even looking at him wrong to the guy who shows respect to another male named samantha. This is for anyone who wants to read the awesome life story of a guy who has lived 186 years.
September 1, 2015
"in a world where Feminism meets Christian Grey, Ross Patterson has absolutely nailed it (pun intended) when it comes to showing how much we need comedy and hyperbole in a conversation that’s gotten very stuffy and claustrophobic as of late. A lot of people will definitely be offended by this “romance novel for dudes,” but its unapologetic comedic genius cannot be overlooked."
December 23, 2015
This book had me laughing out loud more often than most books I read. It was occasionally difficult to get through St. James St. James' more assholeish moments but got easier as I manned up and realized it was all in good fun. Strongly recommend for those with a sense of humor and their own hints (or full dose) of assholeishness.
January 7, 2026
This is a book that I read. Morally repugnant and, shamefully?, the funniest thing I've ever read. Good night. This is terrible for all the wrong reasons. And hilarious for all those exact same reasons. The narrator was absurd, but the Audible recording of it was so pitch perfect I cried from laughing multiple times. Horrible. Do not recommend. At all. But. Oh. My. Gosh.
What did I just read.
What did I just read.
June 5, 2016
Absolutely ridiculous in the perfect ways. If you've ever seen and enjoyed a Patterson film then you'll pretty much know what to expect and not be disappointed. If you're looking for serious, insightful literature you're in the wrong place. I laughed out loud more times than I can recall.
December 10, 2016
An asshole cowboy abuses his wife and kids, while at the same time trying to protect them. Many laugh out loud moments. I couldn't finish it though as I really wanted to finish some other more interesting books. But I'll still say that I read it.
July 12, 2015
It's on the line between deeply offensive and not. I enjoyed it for the absurdity, but be prepared for a treatise on a manly man and the manly things he mans. And women that are things.
October 4, 2015
This is book is completely batshit crazy. I enjoyed it.
September 12, 2015
Completely ridiculous but absolutely hilarious
July 11, 2015
Freaking Hilarious
December 20, 2019
This is a fascinating character study in... WHAT IN THE HELL DID I JUST READ!?
Huh? Well...
Huh? Okay, now I want you to pay attention here because this is gonna be confusing and all over the damn place. Like most of my reviews.
This book is crass as hell and probably the most offensive thing you'll ever read. In fact, it's so absurd and offensive that when you do laugh you take a hard look at yourself and ask "what is wrong with me". But you laugh all the same.
There's some folks who are offended by this book. Like really offended to the point of swearing it off almost to the point of book burning not the offended like "holy shit, I cant believe you just did that." And I don't understand why. Like I get it, it's offensive but on purpose. There's no way anyone reads this book without realizing that at some point shit's gonna get really dark. It happens, ON EVERY PAGE. Getting legitimately offended over this book is the equivalent of being offended over being called a poo poo head. There's really no need for anyone to go to that length its clearly offensive.
And damn the sexuality in this book... like damn. That is some of the most hardcore mock intimacy I've ever had the discomfort of reading.
But anyway as I said in my update this reminds me of Acapulco Goldie by Dr Hook. It also reminds me of South Park. And if Kevin Smith ever made a western with Jay and Silent Bob... holy shit I would watch that movie.
It's funny. In fact it's downright hilarious at parts but you have to put away all your sensitivities and just allow yourself to enjoy some of the most ridiculous shit you'll ever read in your life. And its not eloquent it's 200 plus pages of what the f- dude.
If you read this review you either hated this book and you're looking for a redeeming quality you missed, which you didn't and truthfully you didn't want to find it to begin with. The book is twisted but we're all a little warped. If you're looking to read it but you're fearful you'll be upset be honest with yourself you're never going to read it. Finally, if you really wanna read it my review will either push you that way because well, curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought him back, or your warped and looking for something so damn crazy that there's no way someone actually okayed it for publication. Surprise, they totally did.
There it is and there you have it. There's not much more to say. I know that was incoherent and I'm okay with that, because damn.
Huh? Well...
Huh? Okay, now I want you to pay attention here because this is gonna be confusing and all over the damn place. Like most of my reviews.
This book is crass as hell and probably the most offensive thing you'll ever read. In fact, it's so absurd and offensive that when you do laugh you take a hard look at yourself and ask "what is wrong with me". But you laugh all the same.
There's some folks who are offended by this book. Like really offended to the point of swearing it off almost to the point of book burning not the offended like "holy shit, I cant believe you just did that." And I don't understand why. Like I get it, it's offensive but on purpose. There's no way anyone reads this book without realizing that at some point shit's gonna get really dark. It happens, ON EVERY PAGE. Getting legitimately offended over this book is the equivalent of being offended over being called a poo poo head. There's really no need for anyone to go to that length its clearly offensive.
And damn the sexuality in this book... like damn. That is some of the most hardcore mock intimacy I've ever had the discomfort of reading.
But anyway as I said in my update this reminds me of Acapulco Goldie by Dr Hook. It also reminds me of South Park. And if Kevin Smith ever made a western with Jay and Silent Bob... holy shit I would watch that movie.
It's funny. In fact it's downright hilarious at parts but you have to put away all your sensitivities and just allow yourself to enjoy some of the most ridiculous shit you'll ever read in your life. And its not eloquent it's 200 plus pages of what the f- dude.
If you read this review you either hated this book and you're looking for a redeeming quality you missed, which you didn't and truthfully you didn't want to find it to begin with. The book is twisted but we're all a little warped. If you're looking to read it but you're fearful you'll be upset be honest with yourself you're never going to read it. Finally, if you really wanna read it my review will either push you that way because well, curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought him back, or your warped and looking for something so damn crazy that there's no way someone actually okayed it for publication. Surprise, they totally did.
There it is and there you have it. There's not much more to say. I know that was incoherent and I'm okay with that, because damn.
December 13, 2025
This was HILARIOUS! I’d classify this as satirical cowboy man smut — man smut meaning there’s nothing romantic about the smut in this and is purely meant to make you laugh at how ridiculous these sexual encounters are.
This book is definitely not for the average book girlie, feeling will get hurt and it’s just not for a sensitive audience. Definitely more for the male audience and for the girls who hang with the guys and don’t give a shit about what would be “offensive” to people these days. You have to have a sick and dark sense of humor to find this amusing.
I listened to this book with my husband and laughed pretty hard at everything that is St James St James. He’s the big dicked, sex crazed, rich, powerful MMC who everyone in the book is either threatened by or yearns for (depending on if the minor character is male or female). He finds himself in so many wild and outlandish predicaments to where it’s so mindblowingly comical. The entire tone of this book is 100% Ross Patterson’s humor, and my husband and I enjoyed it very much!
This book is definitely not for the average book girlie, feeling will get hurt and it’s just not for a sensitive audience. Definitely more for the male audience and for the girls who hang with the guys and don’t give a shit about what would be “offensive” to people these days. You have to have a sick and dark sense of humor to find this amusing.
I listened to this book with my husband and laughed pretty hard at everything that is St James St James. He’s the big dicked, sex crazed, rich, powerful MMC who everyone in the book is either threatened by or yearns for (depending on if the minor character is male or female). He finds himself in so many wild and outlandish predicaments to where it’s so mindblowingly comical. The entire tone of this book is 100% Ross Patterson’s humor, and my husband and I enjoyed it very much!
February 2, 2019
The greatest book of all time, written by the greatest writer, movie producer, actor, podcast host, and all around amazing human being.
You’ll notice a few reviews here complain about the content of the book. That it’s too over the top, that it’s vulgar, too much sex and violence. Racism and other horrible things that make overly sensitive nancys cry themselves to sleep at night.
They failed to note this is a Romance Novel for DUDES. (And some pretty cool women). Those that fail to grasp why this is the greatest book of all time are the sissy boys that buy Gillette razors and kneel during the national anthem. This book is written by a real man, for real men.
This is indeed the greatest book of all time. Saint James Street James is the man, the character, and the ledgers that we should all aspire to be. Every line, paragraph, and chapter will have your testosterone levels rising and your mind thirsting for more.
You’ll notice a few reviews here complain about the content of the book. That it’s too over the top, that it’s vulgar, too much sex and violence. Racism and other horrible things that make overly sensitive nancys cry themselves to sleep at night.
They failed to note this is a Romance Novel for DUDES. (And some pretty cool women). Those that fail to grasp why this is the greatest book of all time are the sissy boys that buy Gillette razors and kneel during the national anthem. This book is written by a real man, for real men.
This is indeed the greatest book of all time. Saint James Street James is the man, the character, and the ledgers that we should all aspire to be. Every line, paragraph, and chapter will have your testosterone levels rising and your mind thirsting for more.
March 6, 2019
Great idea but the author can't sustain the craziness.
To say the book is politically incorrect is like noticing the Atlantic is large, wet and salty to the taste.
It's not always funny, though. And sometimes it's just tedious.
But if you watch Patterson's films, such as "FDR: American Badass" or "Poolboy 2" you'll figure it out pretty quick.
He tosses the kitchen sink at the reader or viewer, and dares you not to laugh at the funny parts -- you wimpy liberals.
"Steed" gets three stars for sheer audacity and some pretty funny stuff, and loses two stars for getting bogged down in the middle.
It does not lose anything for being politically incorrect.
To say the book is politically incorrect is like noticing the Atlantic is large, wet and salty to the taste.
It's not always funny, though. And sometimes it's just tedious.
But if you watch Patterson's films, such as "FDR: American Badass" or "Poolboy 2" you'll figure it out pretty quick.
He tosses the kitchen sink at the reader or viewer, and dares you not to laugh at the funny parts -- you wimpy liberals.
"Steed" gets three stars for sheer audacity and some pretty funny stuff, and loses two stars for getting bogged down in the middle.
It does not lose anything for being politically incorrect.
July 17, 2019
I think you have to be a certain kind of person, or be in a certain kind of mood to listen to this book (liking it is another matter).
I was amused enough by it to keep listening. I did have enough once I had finished about 3/4.
This book is sexist, racist, and just plain outrageous. Definitely not for anyone who would get offended at anything. This is not a book to be taken seriously.
Is it a parody? I'm not quite sure. It sure is a hot mess though.
Audiobook - the book is narrated by the author, who does an amazing job. His narration is as out there as the story itself. Perfect fit.
I was amused enough by it to keep listening. I did have enough once I had finished about 3/4.
This book is sexist, racist, and just plain outrageous. Definitely not for anyone who would get offended at anything. This is not a book to be taken seriously.
Is it a parody? I'm not quite sure. It sure is a hot mess though.
Audiobook - the book is narrated by the author, who does an amazing job. His narration is as out there as the story itself. Perfect fit.
October 19, 2023
Saw this in Indigo a few years ago and it definitely caught my attention and finally bit the bullet and bought it. It's silly, ridiculous, and kept me laughing the whole time. The main character is misogynistic, a douche bag, totally high on himself and thinks he's God's gift to earth. This may anger some people but I just thought it was all so bonkers and outrageous that it was funny to me. Currently reading the second book after this one and it's not as good, I bought the third as well so will see how they go.
August 29, 2017
This book was hilarious!! If you're looking for great writing, this isn't it. If you're looking for a well constructed story, this isn't it. If you want political correct-ness and proper English, this also isn't it. This is, however, one twisted, hilarious, disgustingly funny novel that will make you laugh out loud! Why not spend a couple days taking yourself a little less serious and enjoy this book?
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews