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Dead Reckoning: How I Came to Meet the Man Who Murdered My Father
In this gripping and emotional memoir, a woman confronts the man who murdered her father twenty years earlier.
When Carys Cragg was eleven, her father, a respected doctor, was brutally murdered in his own home by an intruder. Twenty years later, and despite the reservations of her family and friends, she decides to contact his murderer in prison, and the two correspond for a period of two years. She learns of his horrific childhood, and the reasons he lied about the murder; in turn, he learns about the man he killed. She mines his letters for clues about the past before agreeing to meet him in person, when she learns startling new information about the crime.
With gripping suspense and raw honesty, Dead Reckoning follows one woman's determination to confront the man who murdered her father, revealing her need for understanding and the murderer's reluctance to tell―an uneasy negotiation between two people from different worlds both undone by tragedy. This is a powerful and emotional memoir about how reconciling with the past doesn't necessarily provide comfort, but it can reveal the truth.
When Carys Cragg was eleven, her father, a respected doctor, was brutally murdered in his own home by an intruder. Twenty years later, and despite the reservations of her family and friends, she decides to contact his murderer in prison, and the two correspond for a period of two years. She learns of his horrific childhood, and the reasons he lied about the murder; in turn, he learns about the man he killed. She mines his letters for clues about the past before agreeing to meet him in person, when she learns startling new information about the crime.
With gripping suspense and raw honesty, Dead Reckoning follows one woman's determination to confront the man who murdered her father, revealing her need for understanding and the murderer's reluctance to tell―an uneasy negotiation between two people from different worlds both undone by tragedy. This is a powerful and emotional memoir about how reconciling with the past doesn't necessarily provide comfort, but it can reveal the truth.
272 pages, Paperback
Published November 14, 2017
9 people are currently reading
242 people want to read
About the author
Carys Cragg
2 books5 followersCARYS CRAGG writes narrative nonfiction. As a graduate of SFU’s The Writer’s Studio, her personal essays have appeared in The Globe & Mail, The Tyee, Understorey, and 48 North, amongst others. She is faculty in Child, Family & Community Studies programs at Douglas College, and holds a BA in Human & Social Development and MA in Child & Youth Care from the University of Victoria. She is a new volunteer with Thursdays Writing Collective and Roots of Empathy and is a member of the Child & Youth Care Association of BC, BC Association of Clinical Counsellors, and Crime Writers of Canada. Dead Reckoning: How I Came to Meet the Man Who Murdered My Father (Arsenal Pulp Press, Fall 2017) is her first book. She lives with her son in Vancouver.
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
January 16, 2019
DEAD RECKONING : To attempt to figure out where you are and where you are going based on where you have been.
When Carys Cragg was eleven, her father was murdered by an intruder in their family home. As a Social Worker nearly twenty years later, Cragg became aware of a restorative justice initiative – in which facilitators would carry letters between her and the incarcerated murderer of her father, with a view to eventually meeting him if that's what she desired – and realising that this was finally her chance to take control of the experience (to no longer be a passive victim of violent crime; to finally confront the facts as an adult and not a shielded child), Cragg eased herself into a correspondence with Sheldon Klatt; the man serving a life sentence for stabbing her father to death when he was a twenty-one-year-old drug addict/petty thief. Maybe it's because she is a life-long diarist, or maybe it's tied to the personality traits that led Cragg to become interested in social work and justice, but I found this memoir to be unusually self-aware and self-reflective; the narrative in Dead Reckoning is highly crafted. Some of this craftedness worked for me – Clagg's father was a sailing enthusiast and she uses nautical terms (as with the definition provided above) to plot out the stages of her journey – and some of it didn't: Clagg inserts brief vignettes from her childhood/adolescence in which she refers to herself in the third person; I get the emotional before and after she's trying to convey, but I found it jarring and distancing every time. Overall, however, this is a compelling record of Clagg's quest for truth and an interesting meditation on the meaning of “justice”.
I paused, a little confused by some of his wording and disappointed with some of his conclusions, yet surprised by his ability to reflect. Then sadness took over. I could have told myself that I was feeling sad for him, for the world created for him, for the world he then created for himself. But I found myself sad that this man's life, the darkness of which I could only imagine, was so incredibly unfair, and because no one was capable of caring for him, my dad had crossed his destructive path and died.
Right from the beginning you realise that the murder revealed a philosophical rift in the victim's family: the dead man's brothers show up to Klatt's parole hearings to curse and threaten him as the ruination of their lives, whereas Carys Clagg's own mother (who had the nearly impossible task of raising four broken children on her own) gives statements asking for clemency at these same hearings. Raised in this liberal environment and privy to the failures of the social services system through her own work, Clagg assures Klatt in her first letter that she feels no anger or hatred towards him, only curiosity. When he responds to her questions with a tale of a broken home and childhood abuse, Clagg answers with understanding and empathy, but insists that he take responsibility as well. It's a tough line for someone with self-described “socialist values” to walk: Clagg states she isn't vengeful, but does want Klatt to make a reckoning; she agrees that the conservative government/judiciary of Alberta probably gave Klatt a life sentence because her father was a respected doctor and not a drug dealer, but she states that only means that the deaths of drug dealers aren't taken seriously enough; she doesn't like the psychobabbly word “closure”; she finds the word “forgiveness” to have too many religious overtones; and other than taking control of her own story, it's hard to know what Clagg wants from the experience.
Writing those words confirmed everything I had done up to that point. Why I had chosen my career. Why I believed what I did. I'd known it when I was younger, after my father died, but I hadn't really known it until the offender wrote it in his letter to me. People stopped caring for him, and he fell down. He stopped caring, and my family fell down. The world stops caring, and we all fall down.
In an Author's Note at the beginning, Clagg explains the nature of memoir (Memories, inherently flawed, are subjective experiences and are thus authentically truthful), and in addition to stating that she won't tell her siblings' stories, she explains that she never asked Klatt's permission to publish long excerpts from his letters in her book (Permission was not sought from the offender as this was not his story to give permission for me to tell.) And I don't know how I feel about that: Klatt was sharing his personal history and memories, and on the face of it, attempting a personal connection with and trying to offer what was healing for Clagg. As a not angry/hateful/vengeful participant in the correspondence, as someone who recognises the many opportunities lost to intervene with Klatt when he was still a young offender, after reassuring him that she was not collecting information for “a novel or thesis”, what duty did Clagg owe to her father's murderer in return? When the two do eventually meet, it is in the presence of two facilitators from the restorative justice project – and it is clear that they are neutral to the process, there for the perpetrator's needs as much as for the victim's. When one of them asks if Clagg and Klatt wanted to discuss confidentiality expectations, Clagg thought:
Surely I had no guarantee of confidentiality or privacy. That seemed to be their problem, not mine. I wanted the power to reclaim my story. Murder had so often silenced the least powerful in this room. I wanted to know my story, have access to my story, share my story, and I didn't want anyone in my way.
In the end, although I can't really define what she got from the process, and even though it would turn out that Klatt wasn't as open and honest as he presented himself to be, Clagg did feel a burden lifted from herself through this experience. It makes for a very interesting read, and if it leads other victims of crime to seek out restorative justice initiatives that might ease their burdens too, then it's a very important read as well. I'm taking off a couple of stars for the third-person bits and the use of Klatt's letters without permission (in the context of the person Clagg presents herself as). If nothing else, this process helped Clagg make a dead reckoning of her own life:
I'd become a child and youth worker to have more flexibility to support vulnerable people. Then I'd become a practice analyst to observe how the Ministry of Children and Family Development was and was not providing ethical and effective care. Now I was a teacher in a classroom, asking a new generation of learners to do the same. What if I could offer what I instinctively knew how to do when I was young; to make sure no unjust act went unnoticed, that no voice went unheard.
May 16, 2019
Interesting story of the process of restorative justice.
November 27, 2017
this is a very moving book about the complexities of compassion. highly recommended.
October 20, 2017
Loved this!
January 17, 2025
Complicated, beautiful, worth a read. Thank you for sharing.
January 23, 2025
This book was so good I started and finished in one day. It was so captivating, how open she was to meeting him. What a beautiful story and I hope after all of this she has gotten the answers she was looking for
October 29, 2018
Who controls your story? For Carys Cragg, the story she was living—an idyllic family, loving parents, happy kids, trips to Disneyland—shattered in a single night, when her father was killed during a home invasion. At eleven years old, certainty and stability were replaced with questions, and a gaping hole where her father should have been.
Cragg’s memoir, Dead Reckoning, sees an adult Cragg still raging against the new normal that began the night of her father’s murder. After 20 years of frustration, she decides that the path to healing lies in finding answers: she decides to talk to her father’s murderer. The book is told through the alternating viewpoints of Cragg as an adult and as a child. The child narrative is written in the third person, a choice that I found alienating as a reader but perhaps reflective of the distance Cragg feels between her life Before and After.
Through a restorative justice program, Cragg enters first into a written correspondence and eventually into face-to-face conversation with Sheldon Klatt, the man who took her father’s life and changed her story forever. For readers new to the concept of restorative justice, Dead Reckoning is very informative about the process. Cragg is very detailed about her journey, and her emotional experience is given center stage throughout. This gives the reader an honest account of the particular difficulties surrounding such a charged encounter, where the path to healing comes through finding empathy for a man she has ample reason to despise. It would be a beautiful message.
...Except, the biggest problem with Dead Reckoning is that its message is undercut by its existence. From the opening page, Cragg states that Klatt’s permission was not sought before publication, as she claims it is not his story to give permission for. Except that’s not true. Included throughout the memoir are large passages of text directly from Klatt’s letters, which include quite intimate details about his family life and upbringing. In fact, the raw honesty of Klatt’s letters stands in stark contrast with the highly curated details Cragg sprinkles in about her own family. It's a flat-out betrayal of trust (one of the first questions Klatt asks is if she is writing a book, and she says no) and of the restorative justice system. If stories heal, as Dead Reckoning implies they do, then Cragg has enacted a different form of retributive justice—demanding not Klatt’s life in recompense, but his story. It’s a highly disappointing move, and the book could have survived with a lot more integrity if it had given Klatt the full respect that restorative justice demands.
By following the restorative justice process, Cragg necessarily encounters the myriad social factors that lead both to her living in the fancy house and to Klatt robbing it. But what becomes most apparent is that the road to justice is complicated, frustrating, and filled with emotional roadblocks. And by the end, she still doesn't get it: Klatt's story was stolen too. She managed to find empathy for him, but at what price?
Cragg’s memoir, Dead Reckoning, sees an adult Cragg still raging against the new normal that began the night of her father’s murder. After 20 years of frustration, she decides that the path to healing lies in finding answers: she decides to talk to her father’s murderer. The book is told through the alternating viewpoints of Cragg as an adult and as a child. The child narrative is written in the third person, a choice that I found alienating as a reader but perhaps reflective of the distance Cragg feels between her life Before and After.
Through a restorative justice program, Cragg enters first into a written correspondence and eventually into face-to-face conversation with Sheldon Klatt, the man who took her father’s life and changed her story forever. For readers new to the concept of restorative justice, Dead Reckoning is very informative about the process. Cragg is very detailed about her journey, and her emotional experience is given center stage throughout. This gives the reader an honest account of the particular difficulties surrounding such a charged encounter, where the path to healing comes through finding empathy for a man she has ample reason to despise. It would be a beautiful message.
...Except, the biggest problem with Dead Reckoning is that its message is undercut by its existence. From the opening page, Cragg states that Klatt’s permission was not sought before publication, as she claims it is not his story to give permission for. Except that’s not true. Included throughout the memoir are large passages of text directly from Klatt’s letters, which include quite intimate details about his family life and upbringing. In fact, the raw honesty of Klatt’s letters stands in stark contrast with the highly curated details Cragg sprinkles in about her own family. It's a flat-out betrayal of trust (one of the first questions Klatt asks is if she is writing a book, and she says no) and of the restorative justice system. If stories heal, as Dead Reckoning implies they do, then Cragg has enacted a different form of retributive justice—demanding not Klatt’s life in recompense, but his story. It’s a highly disappointing move, and the book could have survived with a lot more integrity if it had given Klatt the full respect that restorative justice demands.
By following the restorative justice process, Cragg necessarily encounters the myriad social factors that lead both to her living in the fancy house and to Klatt robbing it. But what becomes most apparent is that the road to justice is complicated, frustrating, and filled with emotional roadblocks. And by the end, she still doesn't get it: Klatt's story was stolen too. She managed to find empathy for him, but at what price?
July 6, 2022
I read this book for my book club and I'm glad I did. It was interesting and reasonably well written.
Lets start with what I didn't enjoy, the memory interludes, especially the detailed ones from her childhood. Perhaps I'm in the minority but I can't recall anything with great clarity from before I was eleven as the narrator does. Perhaps these recollections are burned into her due to the events that transpired after or she's using photos to expand on the memories she does have but it does come across as oddly specific. I also felt like there was a disconnect in the way she described her family in some instances versus descriptions of interactions at other times. But perhaps it's like him recalling the process to the parole board. She never mentioned nightmares but that is how he remembers the events, he's invented his own script of what transpired, his own narrative about what she was trying to achieve. The book is her opportunity to tell her story but that was a glimpse of his version through her eyes. How convoluted!
I'm curious to know if the letters that are included have been edited in any way prior to publication? She mentions she would overlook typos which are present but not nearly so terribly as I would expect based on any need to comment, but perhaps she is a stickler for such things and tends to pick things apart. Like fingers in photos - oooohhh, those always get me.
Learning of the process she went through was fascinating, the steps that were taken and the support she had along the way. I was completely riveted when reading the letters from both parties and the judges findings.
Yet, what is my take away? It reminds me a little of the podcast Serial and how much more invested I was. I think because the narrator was mostly outside of the events she could be sympathetic and use different vantage points. This book is clearly an important outlet for the narrator to tell her story as she understands it while giving some insight into those around her but it's primarily for her and thus subject to her biases and beliefs. I suppose I wish this was a book about the event more generally rather that her narrative but clearly that would be a different book.
Lets start with what I didn't enjoy, the memory interludes, especially the detailed ones from her childhood. Perhaps I'm in the minority but I can't recall anything with great clarity from before I was eleven as the narrator does. Perhaps these recollections are burned into her due to the events that transpired after or she's using photos to expand on the memories she does have but it does come across as oddly specific. I also felt like there was a disconnect in the way she described her family in some instances versus descriptions of interactions at other times. But perhaps it's like him recalling the process to the parole board. She never mentioned nightmares but that is how he remembers the events, he's invented his own script of what transpired, his own narrative about what she was trying to achieve. The book is her opportunity to tell her story but that was a glimpse of his version through her eyes. How convoluted!
I'm curious to know if the letters that are included have been edited in any way prior to publication? She mentions she would overlook typos which are present but not nearly so terribly as I would expect based on any need to comment, but perhaps she is a stickler for such things and tends to pick things apart. Like fingers in photos - oooohhh, those always get me.
Learning of the process she went through was fascinating, the steps that were taken and the support she had along the way. I was completely riveted when reading the letters from both parties and the judges findings.
Yet, what is my take away? It reminds me a little of the podcast Serial and how much more invested I was. I think because the narrator was mostly outside of the events she could be sympathetic and use different vantage points. This book is clearly an important outlet for the narrator to tell her story as she understands it while giving some insight into those around her but it's primarily for her and thus subject to her biases and beliefs. I suppose I wish this was a book about the event more generally rather that her narrative but clearly that would be a different book.
February 15, 2019
How do you reclaim a life that has been stollen by a person? Better yet a series of lives? When Dr. Cragg was killed it destroyed a family and a community. The ripple effect of the one act of a unwell individual reached farther than I think anyone can understand. This book was difficult to read but also one that I think is important for people to read to better understand trauma.
Carys Cragg wrote with such bravery and honesty that I felt honoured and a little guilty to be reading many parts of the book. It takes unbelievable strength to share the pain and aftermath that violent death can hold over a person and community. Her commitment to reconciliation and public well being shines throughout this book and I feel that anyone who works with at risk members of the community should read this book. It is well written, heart breaking but beautiful and thought provoking.
I feel that I can't really review much more of the book without giving away too many details or offering my own bias into the mix. I am thankful that Carys wrote this book and hope that others may learn from her words and her belief in public well being.
Carys Cragg wrote with such bravery and honesty that I felt honoured and a little guilty to be reading many parts of the book. It takes unbelievable strength to share the pain and aftermath that violent death can hold over a person and community. Her commitment to reconciliation and public well being shines throughout this book and I feel that anyone who works with at risk members of the community should read this book. It is well written, heart breaking but beautiful and thought provoking.
I feel that I can't really review much more of the book without giving away too many details or offering my own bias into the mix. I am thankful that Carys wrote this book and hope that others may learn from her words and her belief in public well being.
September 2, 2024
For my August 2024 read, I chose to read “Dead Reckoning: How I Came To Meet The Man Who Murdered My Father”. This was a moving and interesting book about the complexities of compassion and forgiveness. When the author, Carys Cragg was 11-years old her family’s home was broken in to one night & the intruder stabbed & killed her dad while he was trying to protect his family. The story included some lovely memory interludes of times the author spent with her dad & family growing up, and this book also showed the ripple effect of a murder on an entire family & community. Cragg showed great bravery & courage to begin a correspondence relationship with her father’s murderer, Sheldon Klatt; speaking as someone that has had a family member murdered, reading about the benefits of restorative justice for both the perpetrator & the victim was very intriguing. I can honestly say that I don’t know if I could have that openness in my heart for the person that took my Aunt’s life, but it’s definitely something to think about. Reading the letters between Cragg & Klatt was emotional and raw, and I would definitely recommend this read. 👍🏼📕🥺💔⚓️
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 1, 2022
This book was just okay for me. Not sure it was what I was expecting it to be.
Don't get me wrong, I am in awe of Carys bravery and courage to come face to face with the man who murdered her father. I'm not sure I would ever be able to do that if in the situation. Honestly, I don't know how someone moves on from that. Being a child and having someone break into your home and stab your father to death... How do you come back from that? How do you sleep at night? How do you not live in constant fear? How do you move past it? I'm glad to see that she has been able to build a life for herself and be a positive influence in her community and that this tragedy didn't completely stop her life.
Don't get me wrong, I am in awe of Carys bravery and courage to come face to face with the man who murdered her father. I'm not sure I would ever be able to do that if in the situation. Honestly, I don't know how someone moves on from that. Being a child and having someone break into your home and stab your father to death... How do you come back from that? How do you sleep at night? How do you not live in constant fear? How do you move past it? I'm glad to see that she has been able to build a life for herself and be a positive influence in her community and that this tragedy didn't completely stop her life.
September 9, 2018
This beautifully written memoir held my attention long after the final page. It's a powerful love story from the writer to her father, who she lost to a horrific act of random violence while still a child. What makes the book such a profoundly different read is how the writer used the system of restorative justice to heal that loss. What would have remained an abstract concept, is now in clear sharp focus through careful, heartfelt storytelling. I applaud the honesty and bravery it took to both live and write this major life event.
May 26, 2019
Instead of the eerie and dramatic story I was expecting (which the cover indicates), I found this to be actually a really inspiring read. At 30-years-old (it impacted me that she was the same age as me) Carys displays such maturity and understanding towards the offender instead of hate or rage. I was impressed by her outlook of the bigger picture of the offender’s upbringing and how this contributed towards the killing of her father.
July 29, 2019
This book went above and beyond my expectations. This book is not an angry story about what happened to Cragg’s father more than 25 years ago, it is an honest and deeply personal account of how Cragg communicated with her father’s murderer. Cragg uses honesty and truthfulness to try to understand what happened the night her father was killed in her very own home. This memoir has taught me so much, much of it will stay with me for a very a long time.
March 11, 2023
I picked this one up thinking it was going to be a regular true crime memoir, what I didn't realize was that it was going to be an incredibly powerful story of transformative justice. The authors strength and compassion was beautiful and inspiring. Definitely recommend for anyone interested in the ideas of healing beyond incarceration.
February 19, 2018
This was an excellent memoir and one of the best explorations of the limits of the criminal justice system, and benefits of restorative justice, from the perspective of a victim that I've read.
All of my lawyer friends should read this.
All of my lawyer friends should read this.
May 24, 2018
An incredibly written, engaging and deeply moving book. It felt like such a privilege to move through this journey with the author. I couldn’t put it down and continued to reflect on every facet of my own life and the world we live in. Amazing.
September 16, 2021
What does it take to meet the man, decades later, who murdered her father? It did answer a few nagging questions that she had, such as why, was it random or targeted but it was still such a senseless crime when all was said and done.
January 1, 2018
A very moving memoir of Cragg's truth.
January 15, 2018
Bold woman; well crafted and uplifting read
February 20, 2018
An amazing memoir on restorative justice, finding peace, forgiveness and the complexity of the connections we have. I couldn’t put it down.
February 27, 2018
Insightful book on what effect a crime has on the victims and how restorative justice was used to help one move forward.
October 18, 2019
Insightful. Powerful to see restorative justice in action.
November 3, 2019
Although very sad and well written/articulated, the story is not all that interesting.
April 26, 2024
This book still haunts me, years later.
January 23, 2025
I don’t know what to say other then fact that I enjoyed it and thought it takes courage to do what she did
September 2, 2025
Author's father, an Orthopedic resident from Vancouver, was killed in 1992 in a break-in at his home in Calgary. He was defending his wife and 4 small children, The author, at the time of the murder, was 11 years old.
Twenty years later she wished to learn more about the event and about the murderer, Sheldon Klatt. Through the Restorative Justice Program, she began corresponding with Klatt, who at the time was in prison in Drumheller, AB. They each wrote 8 letters. Then Cragg and Klatt met in person. Cragg learned many more details and divulged much about father and herself to Klatt. She wanted Klatt to know about the man who was savagely ripped from her and her family's life.
In the end Cragg found out the truth and she found peace.
Twenty years later she wished to learn more about the event and about the murderer, Sheldon Klatt. Through the Restorative Justice Program, she began corresponding with Klatt, who at the time was in prison in Drumheller, AB. They each wrote 8 letters. Then Cragg and Klatt met in person. Cragg learned many more details and divulged much about father and herself to Klatt. She wanted Klatt to know about the man who was savagely ripped from her and her family's life.
In the end Cragg found out the truth and she found peace.
April 10, 2020
Bogus!
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