For over three decades, this book has been recognized as THE established handbook on relationships between equals. It introduced the concept: cooperation instead of compromise or competition. It gives clear instructions to show you how to be true to yourself and true to your partner at the same time.
The book is designed especially for: * People who seek a model for equal partnership. * Couples who want to transform struggle into teamwork. * Couples who are married, cohabiting, or dating. * Couples who are in a traditional, LGBTQ or alternative relationship. * Couples who’ve discovered their method isn’t working, * Divorced people who are looking for a better way, * LGBTQ people who seek a model from being a couple, * Anyone whose parents showed them how not to be a couple, * Single people seeking loving intimacy as equals.
How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free is the perfect tool for designing and creating a relationship unique to your individual personalities and situation. With it, any couple can learn to work together to create a loving, sustainable, healthy, and equal partnership that you will treasure.
From the Publisher: Authors and Editors know that many worthy and beloved books are fumbled by big publishers. Publishers go out of business, or just drop older, successful books in favor of new ones. Joan and David Lincer of Fumbled Book Press specialize in lovingly restoring and republishing these works. As a result of their work and care, beloved books are once again available, brand new.
How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free sold out 10 printings and two earlier editions. With the assistance of both of the authors, Fumbled Book Press presents it here, brand new, for your learning, growth and well being.
Įdomi, praktiška, naudinga. Reikia laiko įvaldymui metodo, bet net atskiri pratimai labai naudingi. Net suvokimas, kad tai įmanoma padeda sustabdyti beprasmę tarpusavio kovą ir pradėti ieškoti tikrų bendrų sprendimų.
I was delighted to come across this book in our local library and find it has a similar view to ours, that relationships without conflict are possible. Chapter 1 starts out: “In 15 years of working with couples in private therapy and workshops, we have found that no matter how unsolvable a problem seems to the couple presenting it, when we help them apply Cooperative Problem Solving, a solution can always be found.”
How could I not be entranced?
They decry competition: “The belief that some has to ‘win’ in a relationship encourages us to compete rather than to cooperate,” and offer a detailed procedure: “The unique aspect of Cooperative Problem Solving is that both parties attempting to resolve a conflict or make a decision can negotiate so that both get what they want.” They have, like many therapy books, formalized their approach and include many charts, guidelines and exercises. The Negotiation Tree is a multi-page flowchart guiding you through the steps. You might feel this structured approach to be a useful map or a limiting straitjacket. The Negotiation Tree has five steps:
* Define and Communicate the Problem * Agree to Negotiate * Set the Stage * State Your Wants * Explore Your Options and Decide
I liked this book so much, I ordered a second-hand copy from Amazon, and what arrived was the 1987 2nd edition, with the authors’ names reversed. This is a very different book, and although the five steps are identical to the 3rd edition, the guidelines and exercises are not included. It still uses examples of couples working through problems to illustrate its points, and goes into less detail, which in a way makes it clearer.
Either of these editions will be a rewarding read, and they differ so much that you could start with the 2nd edition and then enjoy the more detailed breakdown in the 3rd edition. They are both out of print, but I understand that a new edition is planned for Valentine’s day.
So, her relationship didn't last... and the relationship I had while reading her books didn't last... Does that mean that her material just didn't work for us, any of us... or...?
So, her relationship didn't last... and the relationship I had while reading her books didn't last... Does that mean that her material just didn't work for us, any of us... or... what?