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265 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 1, 2017
**0.0 stars**
Look, I've had 2 Campari spritzers, so please DO NOT TAKE MY WORD as gospel. Spoilers below.
There are no words to describe the bipolarism (it so is a word) that was this book.
Bristol, our FMC, is an industry top-dog. She's a boss, y'all. How do I know? Cos she told us, relentlessly. She is a badass boss. Hersubjectssubordinates dare not look her in the eye, else, off with their heads!
Our Bri is one tune short of a looney. Dear sweet lawd. This woman, this woman. I jus caint deal.
Bri likes to get her rocks off once a month and, lo and behold, her calendar shows she missed last month's bar pick-up.
I should at this point tell you that Bri has had a one-night-stand every month for the past 5 years. That's 1, times 12, times 5, which means 1000 rock-offers. NO? One hundred? No. 60? Yes. 60. Men. Who put their thingy in her jingy. Eeeeewwwwww.
So yeah, Bri needs her monthly fix. Enter Madeline, Bri's assistant who set Bri up with a swipeleft (that's Tinder for you poor souls) account. But, Bri gets catfished (look it up). Her date is a greasy, stinky, humanoid, whom she meets at the movies. So not what Bri ordered. Off with his head! *forgive me*
I ask. Who goes to the movies with a swipeleft-er? Coffee, yes. Dinner, yes. But the movies? I don't think so.
Anyway, Bri is at the movies with the humanoid and in walks Noah and his best bud, Chase. This is where the book's title kicks in. Chase bets Noah $15,000 and all he has to do is finger-fuck Bri while they watch the movie. And you know what? She lets him. A stranger fingers you? While you're at the movies with another guy?
I jus caint deal. I need to bleach my brain.
Anyway, this sets the premise for a story that was painful to read. I don't care if their love is a cross between Titanic/Romeo and J/Pretty Woman. I couldn't deal. Just no.
All I could do was laugh. At the ridiculousness that was this story. And boy did I laugh.
*forgive me, blame the Campari*