Best Laid Plans

by Kathy Lette

TO DO LIST
1) Buy hummus
2) Pay Pilates teacher
3) Find prostitute for son...

When it comes to sex, even the best laid plans come unstuck – in the stickiest way possible

As a crossword-addicted English teacher, Lucy never expected to be arrested for kerb-crawling. But her autistic twenty-year-old son Merlin is desperate to lose his virginity, and a prostitute seems like the only option . . . only Lucy picks up an undercover policewoman instead.

Let off with a suspended sentence, Lucy resigns herself to the fact that her son will never have sex, let alone find love… until the morning she miraculously discovers Merlin in bed with a girl.

But is tough, tattooed Kayleigh just taking Merlin for a ride? If so, why? And what has brought Lucy’s snake of an ex-husband wriggling back into their lives?

As all her best laid plans for Merlin’s happiness chaotically unravel, will Lucy ever be able to cut her son’s psychological umbilical cord and start to live her own life? And will the funny, quirky and marvellously magical Merlin ever find real love?

With plenty of comic twists and emotional turns, Kathy Lette’s riotous yet heartrending novel tackles the taboo subject of sex for the ‘differently abled’ – and shows us that when it comes to sex, we all have special needs …

Genres: Chick Lit, Fiction, British Literature, Humor

352 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 18, 2017

About the author

Kathy Lette divides her time between being a full time writer,
demented mother (now there's a tautology) and trying to find a shopping trolley that doesn't have a clubbed wheel.

Kathy first achieved succés de scandale as a teenager with the novel Puberty Blues, now a major motion picture.

After several years as a singer with the Salami Sisters and a newspaper columnist in Sydney and New York (collected in the book "Hit and Ms") and as a television sitcom writer for Columbia Pictures in Los Angeles, her novels, "Puberty Blues" (1979) "Girls Night Out" (1988), "The Llama Parlour" (1991), "Foetal Attraction" (1993), "Mad Cows" (1996),"Altar Ego" (1998) "Nip'N'Tuck" (2001), "Dead Sexy" (2003) and "How To Kill Your Husband (and other handy household hints)" (2006) became international best-sellers. Kathy Lette's plays include "Grommits", "Wet Dreams", "Perfect Mismatch" and "I'm So Happy For You I Really Am".

She lives in London with her husband and two children and has just finished a stint as writer in Residence at London's Savoy Hotel.

Kathy says that the best thing about being a writer is that you get to work in your jammies all day, drink heavily on the job and have affairs and call it research! (Although her husband says he should have the affair as it would give her a better book!)

Reviews

[Dash fan · Rating 5 out of 5]

5☆ A Mother's Hilarious & Crazy Journey to help her Autistic Son get Laid

Best Laid Plans had me laughing out loud and often cringing at the crazy Antics Lucy gets up to in order to help her Autistic Son Merlin lose his Virginity for he's 21st birthday.

Merlin is soon to be 21 and all he wants is to be loved, have sex and get a girlfriend.
See Merlin has Autism and not everyone shares Merlins unique and special outlook on life.

Lucy sees Merlins heart break, and when he start to say he wishes he had never been born. It tears Lucy apart.
All she has ever wanted was to see Merlin happy.

Merlin has never had a girlfriend, girls can be cruel and when Merlin says inappropriate comments to women, innocently not understanding what he has said is not the right thing to say. He gets rejected. Lucy struggles to believe Merlin may never find love, so she decides to take matters in to her own hands!

So she talks to her sister Phoebe and they come up with a plan to take Merlin to visit a Lady of the Night. 
Unfortunately this plan is about to become horribly wrong, when Lucy is arrested for Kerb Crawling.

Now poor Lucy's run of bad luck don't just end there. She is determined more than ever to help Merlin lose his virginity.
Rightly or wrongly I can understand and sympathise with Lucy.

I don't want to say anymore about the plot as it really will spoil it.

But let's just say Lucy is in for one hell of a ride. More visits to the police station, cougers, drug dealers, infuriating Ex Husbands, a gay wedding and crazy girlfriends.

Trust me when I say this book will have you laughing out loud, leave you with tears and upset, make you feel angry, then back to laughing again.

I really felt for Lucy. All she wanted to do was protect her Son. She may not of gone about it in appropriate ways. But she always had his best interest at heart.

Lucy came across as an easy target.
People took her for granted and walked all over her. I just wanted to shake her sometimes.
She was so busy protecting her son she didn't notice he was growing up to be a beautiful young Man, with a huge heart and a fun, caring personality.

I have lots of experience with Autism and Merlin fascinated me. He was incredibly clever with such a huge heart,which he wore on his sleeve.
Due to the fact Merlin sees life in a completely innocent way. He was an easy target. Which you will come to discover several occasions throughout the book.
I wanted to jump I'm the book and scream at these disgraceful people.
Merlin comes across as vulnerable and his need to be loved gets him used and abused.

Oh I just also want to mention Lucy's Ex, (Merlins's Dad) he's  a nasty piece of work. I really, really disliked him. He's a sneak, a cheat, a disgusting excuse for a father. Trust me these words are not used lightly!

This truly is a beautiful, fun, humorous, a little bit rude, Saucy, crazy, emotional, rollercoaster of a book.
But i loved every minute of it.

So much going on, short fun chapters with humorous titles. Enough to keep you reading till the early hours. It's a book you just have to know what on earth will happen next!

Will Merlin ever find love?
Will he ever lose his virginity?
What on earth will Lucy get herself into next!

I urge you to Read the book to find out more. You won't be disappointed!

A perfect read for those who love Fun, Adult Humour, Romance, Crazy Antics, Page Turner.

I received this book from the Publisher for free via Netgalley, In which I voluntarily reviewed.

You can also find my review on my Blog :
http://dashfan81.blogspot.com/2017/09...

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh Wow!! What a hilarious and uplifting story. I cannot remember a book making me laugh out loud as much as this one did. A beautiful story about the lengths a mother will go to, to try and make her son's life better. With her heart in the right place, mum Lucy's life turns into one unfortunate disaster after another as she tries to make her son Merlin happy. If you are after a good belly-laugh I highly recommend this funny, fantastic novel.

[Karen ⊰✿ · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this really silly. And I know from the synopsis it is meant to be, but it kind of went beyond the pale. The characters were caricatures and it just all seemed to try a bit hard. I ended up pretty bored and annoyed with the whole story.

Just not for me I guess. Apologies and thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Poornima · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have never read anything by Kathy Lette before & I don't intend to ever again either. Such a let down of a book! With an interesting premise, this could have been a wonderfully perceptive story of an autistic boy's search for love. Instead it's a book in which the author shamelessly shows off her linguistic skills in nearly every paragraph. Too clever by half, the protagonist seems to run a caustic monologue like a movie soundtrack at all times. I felt no empathy for any of the characters & couldn't wait to get through the book purely to finish it. A one and a half star from me!

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

BEST LAID PLANS by Kathy Lette

This is Kathy Lette’s sixteenth book. On her website Kathy mentions “her deranged world” and recommends fastening our psychological seat belts for what could be a bumpy ride. This is the first book I have read by Kathy Lette, and I would happily read another.

The premise of the story, a doting and dedicated mother who is desperate to find a lover for her 21 year old autistic son, makes for a very ‘enlightening’ read with plenty of chuckles along the way. Creatively written with honesty and realism, we are presented with the sensitive, ‘extraordinary’ autistic mind of Merlin, up against the ‘ordinary’ and shallow minds of his peers, many of them bullies.

We are also made aware of the personal sacrifices Merlin’s mother Lucy makes for her son, with regard to her own love life and companionship.

We meet some very ‘interesting’ characters, the script is often very colourful, with events taking place which are very comical, and at other times demonstrating how judgemental some people can be.

I really enjoyed Merlin’s animal totems for everyone. You’ll have to read the book to find out what they are!

An educational read, and another of Kathy Lette’s books that could easily be a movie. Thank you for the ride!

[Lorraine Lipman · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was really labored with one smart crack after another. I didn't find it funny at all. In fact it wore me down and I was thankful I had borrowed it from the library rather than have spent my own money on it. As a guest speaker Kathy Lette is terrific but this book was really over the top.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

SOOOOOOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

Ok so I have discovered that our library provided the awesome service of placing holds on new books coming in. While having a late night check on the library website saw that a new Kathy Lette book was coming in so i placed it on hold.

Well you can imagine my super stokedness upon receiving said book and discovering it was about none other than Lucy and Merlin! BONUS.

I loved this book just as much as I adored The boy who fell to Earth.

I can totally recommend this book to all my friends, once they read the previous book of course.

[Roman Clodia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another big-hearted, warm and witty read from Lette as a mother seeks to help her autistic son get a sex life... Merlin is just adorable but so-called 'normal' girls just can't see it - cue his mother's antics first to buy him a prostitute, then to intervene in his own attempts at romance.

This isn't quite as wonderful as Lette's Courting Trouble but is genuinely funny, brash, outrageous and just so much fun, while making important points about social inclusivity. Any book which makes me both giggle and well up on the tube gets my vote! Oh, and Lette is great at surprising and sexy love interests...

Thanks to the publisher for an ARC via NetGalley

[Julie Spratt · Rating 4 out of 5]

To fully understand this story you have to probably be a parent with a young person who has any sort of communication difficulty. For this that thought the story was silly perhaps they need to think more about the subject matter. Kathy Lette has an autistic son and understandably adores him but also sees the difficulties of ASD in becoming independent and doing all the things that a young man of 21 is usually doing. Most 21 year olds are out with their mates, at uni or just starting a new career, This progression is not for us. We are the ones who still take out young people to the cinema, on holiday or have to accept another phone call where it has all gone wrong again.

Everybody deserves relationships and that is what this book is about. It may be funny and tongue in cheek but it is probably written from the heart from a parent with a lot of experience of how life with ASD affects the whole family. I am sure that many parents would not go to these lengths to find their child a partner but the thought of them never finding love is heartbreaking and something most parents take for granted.

Merlin is a great character and I know a lot of Merlin's who say it as it is. For those of us that understand this is not a problem but there are more people around who do not understand than do. I have had to make excuses, apologies for my son in many situations but no longer do this. Kids with communication disorder of any sort are who they are, aren't going to change and why should they. I think that there are far more people around who offend me who are "normally" developing adults than all the ASD people I have met.

Read this book as it is funny but behind the laughter is the true story of ASD so have a think about that and the next time you meet someone whi you think is slightly "odd" try to give them a chance. You never know you might like them

[Rina · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

This book started very strong. Lucy, an English teacher and a mother of an autistic 21-year old boy/guy who was so lonely and desperate to connect with a girl (any girl) t0 the point of having suicidal thoughts, got caught trying to solicit a prostitute who was actually an undercover police for his son. Now, who wouldn't immediately be hooked with an astounding premise like that?!

Part One of the book was thoroughly entertaining - it was crass, unapologetic, real, heartfelt and I had a few laugh-out-loud moments I was too scared of reading the book in public in case I couldn't contain myself.

Unfortunately Part Two didn't really work for me - the plot felt like an exaggerated mother's nightmare story used for daytime soap opera. It still had a few funny moments, but the entertainment level plateaued for me. There was no character growth for Lucy, and lots of things just happened for comic relief purposes.

Part Three was a bit better than Part Two, but it didn't offer anything new. This part resembled Evanovich, Janet's Stephanie Plum books. The end of the book offered a glimpse of character learning for Lucy (the message that she needed to prioritise herself, doh!), but unfortunately it needed to be repeated multiple times throughout parts Two and Three before she finally realised it was true, and didn't really get to show much of the implementation before the book ended.

It had so much unfulfilled potential - the story and characters could've been developed a lot more. Hence, 2.5 stars for me.

[FNM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full Review @https://nzfnmblog.wordpress.com/

This is a book that is definitely full of laughs! It starts of with mother and son kerb-crawling to pick up a women for her Merlin to lose his virginity and manages to keep up the pace until the end of the book.

The characters themselves are well thought out and incredible diverse. It has to be said though Lucy as a character probably has some of the worst luck I have seen for awhile, nothing seems to ever go right for the poor women which leads to some pretty serious situations. Merlin bless his soul was my favourite character though, his love of facts and the inability to read any social situation means you never know what is going to come out of his mouth and most of the time is brutally honest. The reactions he gets makes up some of the best dialogue in the book. This book is also unique with the fact that it had a character that I utterly despised, one that truly had no redeeming qualities what so ever and just got increasingly more irritating as the book went on. The winner of this being Lucy's Ex Husband. It is seriously very rare that I have read a book where there is nothing good about a character usually I can find something that at least gives some understanding into there actions, but there was nothing absolutely nada, quite impressive really.

As I mentioned before poor Lucy doesn't seem to have anything going for her, the situations she finds herself in border on unbelievable but the author describes them in such a realistic way that it becomes believable. Overall a fun lighthearted read.

Rating: 3.5/5

[Desiree · Rating 4 out of 5]

RATING: 3.5

I really like the premise of this book. It is the first time I’ve seen one that tackles sex which involves a person on the spectrum. It sure is intriguing. Also, it is well-written and I like how the author attacks the issue with humor. It is definitely hilarious. However, I feel like it gets over the top with the humor that it appears so comical and well…silly. There were times I feel bored especially when the characters started showing off their linguistic prowess and spewing unfamiliar words and I have to stop and look for its meaning. A few words are fine but that’s not really the case as there’s a lot of them. But then, that’s just me.

As for the characters, they are sure an interesting lot. From Lucy, who’s willing to do everything for her son, to the point of looking for a girl for him to lose his virginity with. To Merlin, who’s such a fascinating character despite being misunderstood and taken advantage of by many because of his condition. Even Lucy’s sister, Phoebe, is a delightful one with her unwavering support to her sister. In the end, Lucy’s character development is wonderful and is something where we can glean a thing or two about motherhood and letting your offspring be free at some point.

And despite the silliness, I appreciate how the author tried to normalize autism by incorporating sex in the story. A dilemma that is experienced by some people in reality. And reading such books give awareness and deeper understanding of autism.

So, overall, Best Laid Plans is a crazy yet fun read. Despite my issues, I still kind of enjoyed it.

[Brooke Hutchinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, a somewhat unique storyline about a subject that most people wouldn't think to explore day to day. It's covered in an intentionally comical, lighthearted way with some *original / witty humour (though moments could certainly cause offence due to the backwards-thinking, old-timey nature of it).

While it may have been slightly ahead of its time by focusing on an autistic young person as part of the main subject matter, some of the values / perspectives (especially around women, their age, their relationships, the role of mothers, sexuality, "feminists" who project oppressive views onto other women, and dealing with divorce) are outdated, unoriginal and quite frankly boring to read about in the way this book presents them.

It also became quite outlandish and random in the path that it inevitably follows, to a point that it becomes so far stretched that you lose sight on what the point of the book was in the first place.

I didn't hate it but I certainly wouldn't describe it as a book that I'd read again nor recommend to a friend (or anyone for that matter).

I think it's important to shine a light on the experience of people on the spectrum, but I feel this was less a tale of that and more about a woman having a mid-life crisis. There's just a lot more that could have to make it a really thoughtful-yet-uplifting story. But instead, it was quite plain and lacked depth.

Not one to revisit.

[Katie Burns · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel as though I may have been somewhat stingy with my 3 stars, as this was an enjoyable book. One which made me look forward to bedtime, so I could read a bit more. However I simply cannot get past the fact that this book is trying far too desperately to be funny and clever, to the point that I feel the author sets up situations simply so that they can lead to a 'joke'. I believe the style of humour could only really appeal to a certain type of woman - 60+ and easily shocked. You know the type - "oh my god Brenda! You are so BAD!" - and all because Brenda made some vaguely sexual reference. Perhaps that's not fair, as these woman are generally harmless and fair play to them if this is their style of humour, however it's more than that - it is the transparent way in which the author sets up her own jokes and the language she uses to make the whole thing SEEM so much cleverer than it is, that was hard to swallow. It was overall a pretty enjoyable reading experience though - it would make for very good poolside reading if you are not looking to engage your brain in the slightest whilst relaxing on holiday.

[David Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the funniest book I have read in a long time. The laughs started on page 1 and continued apace. I spent quite a lot of the first half of the book wondering if was autobiographical. The situations seemed so real and delightfully described. Whilst I sincerely enjoyed the book I need to make some minor criticisms. In the dialogue Merlin, the Asperger's suffering son, issues forth with a few old cliches that were around when I was a lad. That disappointed me. I also felt that the end was too convenient. I did spend some time wondering how she would get out of the corner she had written herself into. I just did not believe the choice she made. Overall, the book was a great read. It is a brave person who creates humour based on disability. I think she gets away with it well.

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now I have to be honest, this sort of humour isn't usually my thing, but having an autistic teenage son myself, I could see the real story behind the incongruity of the various situations that mum Lucy, and 21 year old son Merlin find themselves in. I loved the character of Merlin, so prosaic in speech, and yet so unaware of its impact on the world around him; and I identified with Lucy, so desperate to ease the burden on her son's shoulders of a world he struggled with - to the point of breaking the law. I felt that some of the metaphors were a little strained, but felt the irony of their use in a book with a central autistic character.
The book is written with great sensitivity and tenderness, despite the sometimes raucous humour, by an author with the voice of real experience.

[TheLifeinHeels Blog · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t like it, sadly. Why? Because the storytelling came out as trying too hard to impress. Sure, the author does have a fantastic vocab, but that does not mean she has to exercise it in every single sentence. It becomes exhausting to go through the sarcasm one after the other. All of the lines are clever but I didn’t really appreciate the linguistic carnival. Sadly, halfway through the story, I stopped reading. Only for the reason it was too much for me. The book definitely has some good coffee mug quotes and t-shirt slogans for daily humor, but having it all together in each page didn’t help.
Full Review at: https://www.thelifeinheels.com/best-l...

[Billy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I consider myself to have a pretty decent vocabulary, but I learnt a lot of new words from this book. Words such as insouciant, anthracite, ardour, aperitif, aspic, brio, pulchritudinous, bonhomie, priapic, pudenda, crepuscular, coruscating, clavicle, firmament, menagerie, aureole, assiduous, anaphoras, enjambments, odious, lachrymosity, dolorous, jocosity, truculent, soupçon, frottage, imperious...and many, many more. Seems I couldn't read a single page without coming across a word I didn't know. This didn't detract at all from my enjoyment of the book, however. It was well written by a very accomplished writer and was outrageously funny throughout.

[Tamika Hewitt · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick and easy read. Somewhat funny. It almost sounds funnier explaining the story to someone else then reading it yourself. It was a little bit smutty but there was still a lot of humour. I did enjoy the storyline though. Having an autistic child and what sacrifices a mother would make to ensure that he is happy. I did also like reading the consequences that come along with falling in love if you are on the spectrum. Poor boy loved so much that he was played and I’m sure it happens in the real world too but again his mother was there to save him as I suppose any mother would do. I did enjoy the book but not my usual type of read.

[Casey Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me happy. It’s a really quick read - I managed to get through it in just a couple of hours during “non stop bum on couch” action. First of all - I absolutely loved Lucy , in my mind she is that woman who enjoys a glass of white with chip and dip, while watching Midsummer Murders after a long days work and occasionally enjoys a cheeky fag out of her bathroom window to make herself feel half normal. Ok - I totally made that description up, but these types of stories are the best when you get to create these things yourself. I hope there will be another follow up book!

[Chrissie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not my normal type of book but having a son with special needs I thought I'd give it a go!
It was a funny book and I definitely had a giggle at the over the topness of it all but it really did exaggerate what it's like to have a child with autism.
The lengths us mothers will go to for our children can be extreme but I just can't picture trying to get my son a prostitute for his birthday!
All in all the book was funny and it was a feel good book, great for some comic relief between slightly more serious books!

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the parent of a young man with autism, I get it. This book made me laugh at the similarities, cry with how hard it hit in the right places, grimace in horror at some of the decisions Lucy makes to try to make sure her son is happy. Ending up arrested not once but twice and turning herself into someone not even she recognises. Strap in for a bumpy ride with this one, at times I wanted to slap her hard, but at the same time I got it.

[Elayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A roller coaster ride for the reader of emotions - from empathy to astonishment to incredulity. And even laughter. But the humour is often dark.

Autism is always a challenge for the carers especially as it is often accompanied by other issues as so well portrayed here, including the inability to judge the appropriate behaviour in social situations.

Loved the book.

[Steph Hayward-bailey · Rating 2 out of 5]

A funny quirky book. However, I felt it tried to hard to make situations funny in places and found the narration jumpy in places. As I work with autistic individuals I enjoyed the premise of the book helping an autistic boy find love however I felt the book didn't quiet deliver and many of the scenarios were too far fetched.

[Rita Chapman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun book about looking after an autistic adult who is amusing and brilliant but without people skills - especially those needed to get a desperately needed girlfriend. When his mother attempts to help out the results are disastrous and hilarious. If you are looking for something light and engaging to read, this is the one!

[Laura Weller · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are after a easy reading but hilarious book this is what you need. Perfect for lazing on a sunbed somewhere. I was hooked from the very beginning. The characters are portrayed very well and gives you a good image in your head of what they'd be like. A light-hearted insight into life as a 'special needs' Mum. Really enjoyed it

[Ophelia Gold · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a solid 10/10. So funny and gives a real look into autism. Anyone with a family member or friend with autism will completely relate to this book. And any parents of autistic children will surely carry this round like a bible knowing they are not alone in the amazing and bizarre world of autism.

[Angie Rhodes · Rating 5 out of 5]

How far would you as a mother go, to help your son? Well for Lucy, a crossword addicted teacher this involves being arrested by an undercover policewoman, when she goes kerb crawling to find her autistic son Merlin a girlfriend!!
Laugh out loud, funny and tender at the same time,,

[Janettef · Rating 3 out of 5]

The back cover of the story read well so I was interested to see how the story unfolded. A bit too cliche laden for my liking, I did read to the end. The story did give some insight into life with a person with a disability which is great, but just a bit too frothy for mine.

[Brittany M · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought that this book was written very well. I loved the humor in it. There was a couple of times where I was unsure about what was going on.
I really enjoyed reading your book and I can't wait until next time.