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I Am Not Okay with This
Sydney seems like a normal 15-year-old freshman. She hangs out underneath the bleachers, listens to music in her friend’s car, and gets into arguments with her annoying little brother — but she also has a few secrets she’s only shared in her diary. Like how she’s in love with her best friend Dina, the bizarreness of her father's death, and those painful telekinetic powers that keep popping up at the most inopportune times. In this collection of the self-published minicomic series, Forsman expertly channels the teenage ethos in a style that evokes classic comic strips while telling a powerful story about the intense, and sometimes violent, tug of war between trauma and control.
160 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2017
147 people are currently reading
7912 people want to read
About the author
Charles Forsman
38 books373 followersCharles Forsman was born in Pennsylvania in 1982. He is arguably the most acclaimed talent to come out of the Center for Cartoon Studies, a school founded in 2004 by graphic novelist James Sturm and educator Michelle Ollie in White River Junction, VT. Forsman graduated in 2008 and is a two-time Ignatz Award-winner for his self-published minicomic, Snake Oil. He lives in Hancock, MA, where he runs Oily Comics. - See more at: http://www.fantagraphics.com/index.ph...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,175 reviews
April 21, 2025
4/20/25: I keep assigning this and/or TEOTFW by Charles Forsman because it speaks to kids not addressed by mainstream YA. So many trigger warnings here. Not just about somewhat "troubled" kids but very messed up kids, a kind of punk aesthetic, much angry and trauma. But again and again, it resoanates with students as offering something brutally real. But with simple, ironic Elzie Crisler (EC) Segar-style (Popeye) artwork (1929 was Popeye's first year), and out mc Sidney as twisted Olive Oyl.
4/10/24: Yet another class reading of this book, which I think students appreciate for its honesty about how dysfunctional some kids' lives are. It stays with you. And not in a comforting way.
9/23/21: Reread for a fall YA class that sort of flatly and dismally concludes a unit on YA romance, because it is essentially an anti-romance, or features a girl, Sydney, who is so alienated that she can only hope for romance, though hope for it she really does, and makes mistakes galore along the way. But rage and angst and so many other emotional hurdles get in the way. A sadly disturbing book in so many ways. In the summer the class voted for it as their favorite book, but in this class it did not generate much discussion, and certainly not much admiration. Lots of triggers in the book, so maybe that was part of it?
8/3/21: Reread with summer comics class, and surprise, it was the top vote getter, as the favorite book of the summer! I say surprise because it has a very hard [trigger warning!] ending and all along the way the main girl goes through mostly hard things in her life. Not a happy teen Archie comic, shall we say. There are other disaffected, alienated teens in what we read: in Ghost World, the two girls, but many teens are alienated and unhappy. Both might be described as quasi-punk.
I also reread and talked today about TEOTFW (The End of the Fucking World), also by Forsman, and we looked at Magical Beatdown by Jenn Woodall; all of these involve anger and feature lost kids who resort to violence (okay, not Ghost World, but there is still cruelty in that one) as a way of responding to what the world has given them. Not affirming that violence, but helping us see where that anger might be coming from.
Art style: Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Hi and Lois, Dennis the Menace, Popeye (and Olive Oyl) by E.C. Sugar, but ironic, right? Those simple days are gone in the story world this comic depicts.
4/28/20: Update after having read this with me Spring 2020 Growing Up class. I still have not seen any of the tv series, but see Ivan says he really liked it, so will see. [still have not seen it in 4/2024!]
A second read review, 7/11/18, somewhat edited: I had just read this bleak little graphic novel a couple months ago, ordered it for my summer graphic novels course with a focus on (kick ass) girls, and just read it with the class. No one liked it as much as I did. Sydney is despondent, alienated, makes bad mistakes, gets angry and takes it out on others. I used this comic to contrast a hippie/happy pastel fantasy comic such as Taproot, which is a feel-good trip (that I love), but Sydney lives in a different world, a darker one, and is unhappy. I think people need to read about sad and despondent and inarticulate kids, too, and I like how the comic captures all of that.
I did think on this reading that the (sad) resolution comes too quickly and that it all moves too quickly, but it is also supposedly the diary of an inarticulate and largely unreflective girl, so it's not going to get all literary on us. Forsman can't suddenly make her into Virginia Woolf, which is I think one of his points. But I acknowledge some of my class disliking it and so many readers not liking it, so you have been warned. It is not escapist, it is not so pleasant, as many kids's lives are not pleasant, but it is also not nihilist.
5/20/18: I Am Not Okay With This is a comic by the guy who also did The End of the Fucking World, which maybe gets read now more because it was made into a tv series. If you are looking for something raw and real, you read Forsman, who doesn’t soften his “message.” Forsman is good at communicating teen angst and trauma, I think.
This pretty short story features Sydney, friends with Dina, who has a bully misogynist asshole boyfriend. Syd, a scrawny, unpopular girl, is maybe bi and constantly horny and at one point kisses Dina, who then asks her to leave. But she is partly needy because she is traumatized; she is dealing with the loss of her Dad, who himself had Iraqi-war PTSD. Mom is also constantly sad from this loss, and of course they never talk about it. Like Dad, Syd self-medicates with pot. Most people think she is a dyke, or a witch, or just weird; she is alienated and alienating, but she does have this friend Dina, and another friend, Stuart, whom she gets high with and has sex with that she pretty much regrets. A(n adult) woman from a convenience story also takes her home and “goes too far” with her, which is unhelpful to lonely Syd, and she knows it. Sad, yes, I know.
What I like about this comic is the raw language, the honest portrayal of kid boredom, and her struggles with sexuality and loss. I especially like how inarticulate Syd and almost all of the people in the story really are. Books sometimes speak of the unspeakable, and giving voice to the voiceless, but sometimes, people just don’t know what to say, and are not all talkative and poetic in narrating their hard experiences. Syd, for instance, says she “does stuff” with Stuart. It feels like real kid talk when the kids hang out. None of them are really likable, but they seem normal. I am reminded a bit of Noah Van Sciver's lost and depressed young people.
The one thing that distinguishes this comic from other similar teen-angst stories is that Syd also has psychic powers--telekinesis--that enable her to hurt assholes like Dina's boyfriend. Like, really hurt them. Which feels a little bit empowering, I guess, even to this pacifist, but it is also disturbing and sad, too. And finally doesn't accomplish much but release some frustration for her. And in a comic about loss, do we need her to have super powers that mainly get used for ill? Maybe the superpower is really just a metaphor for wanting to hurt people? Or avenging pain? But I do actually find this aspect of the book super interesting.
At a glance I see some other Goodreads readers really hate this book. Because they hate Syd and all her friends and the ending. Okay, I get that. But Syd is not supposed to be likable. She makes mistakes, she is inarticulate, she is lost. I'm a teacher and want to be a little protective of the Sydneys I teach, even if they don't want me to reach them (though Syd IS reached somewhat by her English teacher, yay!). I found this real and haunting. Visceral. It feels like Jeffery Brown territory in its accessible, sketchy, simple drawing that conveys so much, and is relatable for the unsophisticated; it feels like art that is like Syd, not glossy or cleaned up or sanitized. If we don't make an attempt to understand and reach out to these young folks we have lost them, that's the basic point of the comic, I think.
4/10/24: Yet another class reading of this book, which I think students appreciate for its honesty about how dysfunctional some kids' lives are. It stays with you. And not in a comforting way.
9/23/21: Reread for a fall YA class that sort of flatly and dismally concludes a unit on YA romance, because it is essentially an anti-romance, or features a girl, Sydney, who is so alienated that she can only hope for romance, though hope for it she really does, and makes mistakes galore along the way. But rage and angst and so many other emotional hurdles get in the way. A sadly disturbing book in so many ways. In the summer the class voted for it as their favorite book, but in this class it did not generate much discussion, and certainly not much admiration. Lots of triggers in the book, so maybe that was part of it?
8/3/21: Reread with summer comics class, and surprise, it was the top vote getter, as the favorite book of the summer! I say surprise because it has a very hard [trigger warning!] ending and all along the way the main girl goes through mostly hard things in her life. Not a happy teen Archie comic, shall we say. There are other disaffected, alienated teens in what we read: in Ghost World, the two girls, but many teens are alienated and unhappy. Both might be described as quasi-punk.
I also reread and talked today about TEOTFW (The End of the Fucking World), also by Forsman, and we looked at Magical Beatdown by Jenn Woodall; all of these involve anger and feature lost kids who resort to violence (okay, not Ghost World, but there is still cruelty in that one) as a way of responding to what the world has given them. Not affirming that violence, but helping us see where that anger might be coming from.
Art style: Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Hi and Lois, Dennis the Menace, Popeye (and Olive Oyl) by E.C. Sugar, but ironic, right? Those simple days are gone in the story world this comic depicts.
4/28/20: Update after having read this with me Spring 2020 Growing Up class. I still have not seen any of the tv series, but see Ivan says he really liked it, so will see. [still have not seen it in 4/2024!]
A second read review, 7/11/18, somewhat edited: I had just read this bleak little graphic novel a couple months ago, ordered it for my summer graphic novels course with a focus on (kick ass) girls, and just read it with the class. No one liked it as much as I did. Sydney is despondent, alienated, makes bad mistakes, gets angry and takes it out on others. I used this comic to contrast a hippie/happy pastel fantasy comic such as Taproot, which is a feel-good trip (that I love), but Sydney lives in a different world, a darker one, and is unhappy. I think people need to read about sad and despondent and inarticulate kids, too, and I like how the comic captures all of that.
I did think on this reading that the (sad) resolution comes too quickly and that it all moves too quickly, but it is also supposedly the diary of an inarticulate and largely unreflective girl, so it's not going to get all literary on us. Forsman can't suddenly make her into Virginia Woolf, which is I think one of his points. But I acknowledge some of my class disliking it and so many readers not liking it, so you have been warned. It is not escapist, it is not so pleasant, as many kids's lives are not pleasant, but it is also not nihilist.
5/20/18: I Am Not Okay With This is a comic by the guy who also did The End of the Fucking World, which maybe gets read now more because it was made into a tv series. If you are looking for something raw and real, you read Forsman, who doesn’t soften his “message.” Forsman is good at communicating teen angst and trauma, I think.
This pretty short story features Sydney, friends with Dina, who has a bully misogynist asshole boyfriend. Syd, a scrawny, unpopular girl, is maybe bi and constantly horny and at one point kisses Dina, who then asks her to leave. But she is partly needy because she is traumatized; she is dealing with the loss of her Dad, who himself had Iraqi-war PTSD. Mom is also constantly sad from this loss, and of course they never talk about it. Like Dad, Syd self-medicates with pot. Most people think she is a dyke, or a witch, or just weird; she is alienated and alienating, but she does have this friend Dina, and another friend, Stuart, whom she gets high with and has sex with that she pretty much regrets. A(n adult) woman from a convenience story also takes her home and “goes too far” with her, which is unhelpful to lonely Syd, and she knows it. Sad, yes, I know.
What I like about this comic is the raw language, the honest portrayal of kid boredom, and her struggles with sexuality and loss. I especially like how inarticulate Syd and almost all of the people in the story really are. Books sometimes speak of the unspeakable, and giving voice to the voiceless, but sometimes, people just don’t know what to say, and are not all talkative and poetic in narrating their hard experiences. Syd, for instance, says she “does stuff” with Stuart. It feels like real kid talk when the kids hang out. None of them are really likable, but they seem normal. I am reminded a bit of Noah Van Sciver's lost and depressed young people.
The one thing that distinguishes this comic from other similar teen-angst stories is that Syd also has psychic powers--telekinesis--that enable her to hurt assholes like Dina's boyfriend. Like, really hurt them. Which feels a little bit empowering, I guess, even to this pacifist, but it is also disturbing and sad, too. And finally doesn't accomplish much but release some frustration for her. And in a comic about loss, do we need her to have super powers that mainly get used for ill? Maybe the superpower is really just a metaphor for wanting to hurt people? Or avenging pain? But I do actually find this aspect of the book super interesting.
At a glance I see some other Goodreads readers really hate this book. Because they hate Syd and all her friends and the ending. Okay, I get that. But Syd is not supposed to be likable. She makes mistakes, she is inarticulate, she is lost. I'm a teacher and want to be a little protective of the Sydneys I teach, even if they don't want me to reach them (though Syd IS reached somewhat by her English teacher, yay!). I found this real and haunting. Visceral. It feels like Jeffery Brown territory in its accessible, sketchy, simple drawing that conveys so much, and is relatable for the unsophisticated; it feels like art that is like Syd, not glossy or cleaned up or sanitized. If we don't make an attempt to understand and reach out to these young folks we have lost them, that's the basic point of the comic, I think.
March 2, 2020
I don't get to say this a lot but adaptation was better. Yesterday I finished Netflix show and liked it a lot so I decided to try graphic novel right away and ended disappointed.
June 11, 2022
My dude.... this was not good....at all.
It's like... I am not okay with this *wait for it* book.
.
.
.
.
Okay I'll see myself out now.
It's like... I am not okay with this *wait for it* book.
.
.
.
.
Okay I'll see myself out now.
September 14, 2019
you're telling me netflix got acting legends wyatt oleff and sophia lillis for a new show and THIS is the source material?
July 17, 2018
15 year old Sydney explores her burgeoning sexuality against a typical high school and home life background. But Syd is extraordinary in one way: she gots the telekinesis!
Chuck Forsman returns to what he does best: teenage angst. And, like in Celebrated Summer and The End of the Fucking World, I Am Not Okay With This is a compelling character portrait of contemporary American adolescence. Forsman convincingly explores the inner life of a gay teen girl, slowly revealing the story behind her father’s absence and her part in it, as well as her superpower.
That said, I felt that her superpower was a misstep - the narrative didn’t need a fantastical element to it; the realism of Syd’s life was more than enough for this book. All the superpower provides are the two stupidest scenes in this book, one of which was the ending. And the ending was the only part of the book I really disliked. It was needlessly nihilistic, unimaginative, hopeless, and too easy. Besides being uninspired and abrupt, what a negative message it sends to gay kids dealing with their sexuality!
It might’ve worked if it had been metaphorical telekinesis – a symbolic representation of her outsider status/alienation/frustration - except the other stupid scene removes any ambiguity.
The art style is effectively minimalist, appropriately reflecting the bleak tone of the story. Though many of the characters are drawn cartoonishly, it somehow works and adds to the surrealism. I wonder if Syd being drawn like Popeye’s Olive Oyl was a visual pun on the name of Chuck’s imprint, Oily Comics?
Unnecessary characteristics and terrible ending aside, I Am Not Okay With This is an effortlessly compelling and enjoyable read. If you like indie comics, check out anything with Chuck Forsman’s name on the cover – dude is a brilliant creator!
Chuck Forsman returns to what he does best: teenage angst. And, like in Celebrated Summer and The End of the Fucking World, I Am Not Okay With This is a compelling character portrait of contemporary American adolescence. Forsman convincingly explores the inner life of a gay teen girl, slowly revealing the story behind her father’s absence and her part in it, as well as her superpower.
That said, I felt that her superpower was a misstep - the narrative didn’t need a fantastical element to it; the realism of Syd’s life was more than enough for this book. All the superpower provides are the two stupidest scenes in this book, one of which was the ending. And the ending was the only part of the book I really disliked. It was needlessly nihilistic, unimaginative, hopeless, and too easy. Besides being uninspired and abrupt, what a negative message it sends to gay kids dealing with their sexuality!
It might’ve worked if it had been metaphorical telekinesis – a symbolic representation of her outsider status/alienation/frustration - except the other stupid scene removes any ambiguity.
The art style is effectively minimalist, appropriately reflecting the bleak tone of the story. Though many of the characters are drawn cartoonishly, it somehow works and adds to the surrealism. I wonder if Syd being drawn like Popeye’s Olive Oyl was a visual pun on the name of Chuck’s imprint, Oily Comics?
Unnecessary characteristics and terrible ending aside, I Am Not Okay With This is an effortlessly compelling and enjoyable read. If you like indie comics, check out anything with Chuck Forsman’s name on the cover – dude is a brilliant creator!
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May 12, 2019I am so disturbed. I don’t even know how to rate this...
All I can say is this was super fucked up. I can see why this is one of the worst rated books on my TBR.
All I can say is this was super fucked up. I can see why this is one of the worst rated books on my TBR.
October 30, 2018
There has been some discussion in various writing circles, and online about whether it's okay to write a story from the perspective of someone from a different race or gender or gender-attraction. I have yet to see anyone on either side of the argument reach an understanding with someone on the other side.
I have read some books by male-identified writers, in the voice of female-identified characters that I have loved, and thoroughly believed in the characters presented.
This was not one of those books.
I think you can tell from page one that this wasn't written by a girl or woman. This reads as being written by a man who watched a bunch of movies about women that were also written by men, and maybe also read some books by actual women. But, if so, he didn't really get them. The voice of the narrator is entirely how certain men imagine certain women see themselves. And while I can't and won't say that there aren't a few women who've ever thought/behaved like the narrator of this story, I am confident that they're in the minority.
The fantasy of the queer girl with the power to asplode dudes with her mind is either a story for a female-identified person, or a men's right's activist to tell, and Charles Forsman is neither of those things. I don't think this book is something to apologize for or that its existence is offensive, but it's poorly thought out, not well constructed, and it's a bummer to read.
I don't recommend it. And between this and "The End Of The Fucking World", I don't think I'm likely to pick up any of his books in the future.
I have read some books by male-identified writers, in the voice of female-identified characters that I have loved, and thoroughly believed in the characters presented.
This was not one of those books.
I think you can tell from page one that this wasn't written by a girl or woman. This reads as being written by a man who watched a bunch of movies about women that were also written by men, and maybe also read some books by actual women. But, if so, he didn't really get them. The voice of the narrator is entirely how certain men imagine certain women see themselves. And while I can't and won't say that there aren't a few women who've ever thought/behaved like the narrator of this story, I am confident that they're in the minority.
The fantasy of the queer girl with the power to asplode dudes with her mind is either a story for a female-identified person, or a men's right's activist to tell, and Charles Forsman is neither of those things. I don't think this book is something to apologize for or that its existence is offensive, but it's poorly thought out, not well constructed, and it's a bummer to read.
I don't recommend it. And between this and "The End Of The Fucking World", I don't think I'm likely to pick up any of his books in the future.
March 14, 2020
¿Les ha pasado que ven la película o serie de algo antes de leer el libro o novela gráfica que inspiró esa adaptación? Pues así me sucedió con I Am Not Okay With This. Vi primero la serie de Netflix, que es una maravilla, y luego llegué a las páginas de esta novela gráfica y todo se sentía como... vacío.
Antes de explicarme más, les cuento un poco de qué va esta novela gráfica. Esta es la historia de Syd, una adolescente que es tímida, rarita y que, además, tiene una especie de poderes mentales que están cambiando su vida para mal. Su padre los tenía y nada acabó muy bien para él. Así que en medio de típicos problemas de adolescente, Syd va a intentar lidiar con esa cosa que está en su cabeza al tiempo que se descubre a sí misma.
La novela gráfica tiene, de alguna manera, escenas mucho más oscuras y con un trasfondo más perturbador que la serie, pero sentí que había súper poco desarrollo para llegar a ellas. Mientras que en la serie se toman su tiempo para crear un ambiente de confusión y desasosiego con respecto a los poderes de Sydney, en la novela gráfica ella sencillamente los tiene y los acepta. Y sé que es raro comparar todo el tiempo, pero ya en este punto es imposible.
Creo que mi problema fue que llegué de una serie en la que le dedicaban mucho tiempo a todo y pasé a las páginas de una novela gráfica que, si hubiera sido más larga, habría estado fantástica.
En fin, pero más allá de todo, creo que I Am Not Okay With This, tanto en la novela gráfica como en la serie, es una historia muy interesante y que habla descarnadamente de la parte más oscura de la adolescencia, de todos los pensamientos que se nos cruzan por la cabeza, del afán de ser aceptado, del miedo a ser diferente y de cómo vivimos todos los sentimientos amplificados por mil cuando estamos en esa etapa.
Antes de explicarme más, les cuento un poco de qué va esta novela gráfica. Esta es la historia de Syd, una adolescente que es tímida, rarita y que, además, tiene una especie de poderes mentales que están cambiando su vida para mal. Su padre los tenía y nada acabó muy bien para él. Así que en medio de típicos problemas de adolescente, Syd va a intentar lidiar con esa cosa que está en su cabeza al tiempo que se descubre a sí misma.
La novela gráfica tiene, de alguna manera, escenas mucho más oscuras y con un trasfondo más perturbador que la serie, pero sentí que había súper poco desarrollo para llegar a ellas. Mientras que en la serie se toman su tiempo para crear un ambiente de confusión y desasosiego con respecto a los poderes de Sydney, en la novela gráfica ella sencillamente los tiene y los acepta. Y sé que es raro comparar todo el tiempo, pero ya en este punto es imposible.
Creo que mi problema fue que llegué de una serie en la que le dedicaban mucho tiempo a todo y pasé a las páginas de una novela gráfica que, si hubiera sido más larga, habría estado fantástica.
En fin, pero más allá de todo, creo que I Am Not Okay With This, tanto en la novela gráfica como en la serie, es una historia muy interesante y que habla descarnadamente de la parte más oscura de la adolescencia, de todos los pensamientos que se nos cruzan por la cabeza, del afán de ser aceptado, del miedo a ser diferente y de cómo vivimos todos los sentimientos amplificados por mil cuando estamos en esa etapa.
Read
January 19, 2019At a certain point, as a lesbian, I get tired of meeting lesbian characters whose entire story builds up to a violent and tragic climax. As someone who's suffered depression, I get tired of meeting mentally ill and struggling characters whose entire story builds up to a violent and tragic climax. As an afab person, I get tired of meeting female characters whose entire story builds up to a violent and tragic climax.
Pros of this book: Syd is a really charming character and Forsman used a great art style. Forsman has a good eye for design and it was nice to read a book with lesbians who looked and felt like lesbians. The book has a timeless and somewhat nostalgic feel that I also really enjoyed and the style reminded me of Popeye, which I liked.
Cons of this book - THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILERS START -
The mental illness and woman elements I could honestly get over, but considering just how openly the bury/kill your gays trope has been discussed lately, I was honestly shocked by the sudden and violent end to Syd's story. Every writer seems to think they're the special, beloved author who is allowed to let their LGBT+ characters die for their vision. Unless you're a lesbian, you should be very careful about having lesbian characters die in your story because two of the last three books I read had lesbians die, and the other one I specifically sought out as a happy lesbian book. There is a moment where Syd tries to hit on one of her friends and it did not feel authentic, The suicide aspect was also not well handled. Ending on a violent image of suicide feels like a cheap trick to get a reaction and, while it could be argued the diary format of the story didn't allow a chance to show subsequent events, I think all stories with a suicide benefit from showing the downsides of suicide. This is also yet another YA book that shows school counselors as actively pushing their students in need away, so... know that.
Lots of reviews on here say the supernatural element wasn't necessary, but I don't think it harmed the book - I do think it could have been better used. Getting into the LGBT+ issues again, Syd's violent telekinesis is heavily linked to her sexuality and I don't really think that works, since her dad also had this incredibly painful power. This story was too short to make proper use of the metaphors, but that has an interesting implication regarding his own sexuality that isn't explored, and prompts a question about Syd and her brother's existence that isn't answered. Personally, I didn't like seeing a lesbian having sex for the first time and almost dying/killing because of it. Forsman also shies away from committing to a lesbian. Syd says they can get off on thinking about anyone, but this psychic issue only crops up around sex with women or when masturbating. They have sex with a man, with no repercussions.
The story is unpredictable, but it's unpredictable because you aren't given enough to really understand it. You don't expect Syd to murder someone, because it's not built up and you don't tend to expect people to murder other people. You don't expect Syd to self harm, or commit suicide for the same reason.
This book was visually enjoyable to read, but it was not emotionally or psychologically enjoyable to read, and after finishing it I experienced gay rage and irritation, not whatever profound feeling Forsman thought a teenager committing suicide would give me, and my respect for him lessened.
Pros of this book: Syd is a really charming character and Forsman used a great art style. Forsman has a good eye for design and it was nice to read a book with lesbians who looked and felt like lesbians. The book has a timeless and somewhat nostalgic feel that I also really enjoyed and the style reminded me of Popeye, which I liked.
Cons of this book - THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILERS START -
The mental illness and woman elements I could honestly get over, but considering just how openly the bury/kill your gays trope has been discussed lately, I was honestly shocked by the sudden and violent end to Syd's story. Every writer seems to think they're the special, beloved author who is allowed to let their LGBT+ characters die for their vision. Unless you're a lesbian, you should be very careful about having lesbian characters die in your story because two of the last three books I read had lesbians die, and the other one I specifically sought out as a happy lesbian book. There is a moment where Syd tries to hit on one of her friends and it did not feel authentic, The suicide aspect was also not well handled. Ending on a violent image of suicide feels like a cheap trick to get a reaction and, while it could be argued the diary format of the story didn't allow a chance to show subsequent events, I think all stories with a suicide benefit from showing the downsides of suicide. This is also yet another YA book that shows school counselors as actively pushing their students in need away, so... know that.
Lots of reviews on here say the supernatural element wasn't necessary, but I don't think it harmed the book - I do think it could have been better used. Getting into the LGBT+ issues again, Syd's violent telekinesis is heavily linked to her sexuality and I don't really think that works, since her dad also had this incredibly painful power. This story was too short to make proper use of the metaphors, but that has an interesting implication regarding his own sexuality that isn't explored, and prompts a question about Syd and her brother's existence that isn't answered. Personally, I didn't like seeing a lesbian having sex for the first time and almost dying/killing because of it. Forsman also shies away from committing to a lesbian. Syd says they can get off on thinking about anyone, but this psychic issue only crops up around sex with women or when masturbating. They have sex with a man, with no repercussions.
The story is unpredictable, but it's unpredictable because you aren't given enough to really understand it. You don't expect Syd to murder someone, because it's not built up and you don't tend to expect people to murder other people. You don't expect Syd to self harm, or commit suicide for the same reason.
This book was visually enjoyable to read, but it was not emotionally or psychologically enjoyable to read, and after finishing it I experienced gay rage and irritation, not whatever profound feeling Forsman thought a teenager committing suicide would give me, and my respect for him lessened.
June 5, 2018
*Warning* This review contains spoilers!
I'm not exactly experienced with leaving reviews, but feel the need to say a little something about this book. I think I understand what the author was trying to do, which was communicate a message in regards to trauma and how it is dealt with in the angsty teenage mind. I get that it was probably supposed to feel "raw," and blunt. However, as an adult that has Complex PTSD, which was developed around the age of 15 (the age of the protagonist), I found this story a bit on the irresponsible side. It is essentially a graphic novel for teens. Teens aren't always going to understand the message here that is lurking underneath what looks at first sight like a 15-year-old girl killing herself on the last page of the book. I related to certain parts of the book in a painful and almost uncomfortable way, and was really hoping that it would be handled well at the end. I had some hope for it. Ultimately, I just find it more irresponsible than presenting any meaningful message to a teenager on how harmful these intense feelings can be for them if kept inside. I even had to reach to find such a message in it. I am left with a very uneasy feeling that is reflective of my own teen experiences and what *could* have happened to me. This graphic novel comes off as yet another story about trauma written by someone that has not experienced such complexities in their teens. I do not know if that's the case or not, however.
I'm not exactly experienced with leaving reviews, but feel the need to say a little something about this book. I think I understand what the author was trying to do, which was communicate a message in regards to trauma and how it is dealt with in the angsty teenage mind. I get that it was probably supposed to feel "raw," and blunt. However, as an adult that has Complex PTSD, which was developed around the age of 15 (the age of the protagonist), I found this story a bit on the irresponsible side. It is essentially a graphic novel for teens. Teens aren't always going to understand the message here that is lurking underneath what looks at first sight like a 15-year-old girl killing herself on the last page of the book. I related to certain parts of the book in a painful and almost uncomfortable way, and was really hoping that it would be handled well at the end. I had some hope for it. Ultimately, I just find it more irresponsible than presenting any meaningful message to a teenager on how harmful these intense feelings can be for them if kept inside. I even had to reach to find such a message in it. I am left with a very uneasy feeling that is reflective of my own teen experiences and what *could* have happened to me. This graphic novel comes off as yet another story about trauma written by someone that has not experienced such complexities in their teens. I do not know if that's the case or not, however.
February 5, 2018
Yeah, not a fan of books that make suicide seem as an easy option.
January 21, 2020
if i could rate lower, i promise i would.
April 25, 2018
Hated this, I went in knowing the author also wrote a graphic novel that formed the basis for a popular Netflix series and figured it might be good. All I knew going in was it's a diary of a teen girl who harbors a secret and some telekinetic powers, sounds good right? What I got was a (pardon my french) masturbatory exercise in how a guy would write an angsty teen coming to terms with who she is. I'd maybe like this more if the telekinetic powers were just a metaphor, but really who gives a shit, SPOILERS she gives kills her PTSD riddled father because it's what she knows he wants. Also she has this awful hatred of her mom because of how much her mom works to provide for her family...? Oh and there's lots of shitty treatment of women by men to help further her plot. I'm not sorry for a messy and poorly written review, but I just don't care and I don't use the word hate but boy howdy do I want to do that with this book.
February 29, 2020
I just finished watching the show based on this which recently came out, and I loved it so much I thought, if the show is this cool the comics must be ridiculously good. I should've learned from my previous mistakes *cough* the walking dead *cough*
for the first time in my life I'm glad I watched the show first. having the comics spoiled is far more tolerable
for the first time in my life I'm glad I watched the show first. having the comics spoiled is far more tolerable
January 22, 2020
Pretty screwed up story that has a teenager questioning her sexual identity and has super powers. She kills a homophobic bully, then at the end kills herself cause she doesn’t want to feel. I hate this narrative. Give LGBTQ kids something to live for, not have them kill themselves. There’s tons of symbolism but that ending has me livid. Hated it
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 24, 2020
Well, that was all kinds of problematic.
Actually, really quite irresponsible & pointless.
Fingers crossed Netflix fixes it for the better like they did The End of the Fucking World.
Actually, really quite irresponsible & pointless.
Fingers crossed Netflix fixes it for the better like they did The End of the Fucking World.
February 26, 2020
Skip this and just go watch the show, you can thank me later
March 19, 2020
I enjoyed this graphic novel. It deals with a 15 year old girl who is dealing with death, family, friends and her sexuality. I seen it was a Netflix show I'm sure it will be a little different since some of the content in this book was both mature content and a little dark.
March 17, 2020
Yeah no don’t read this if you’re struggling with your mental health. Stay safe
September 2, 2021
How Paris Hilton Ruined my Summer Vacation and Other Disappointments
So, it took me a while to get around to it, but I finally watched season 1 of I Am Not Okay With This on Netflix, a show about a teenage outcast named Syd. Syd lives in a dumpy dead-end small town with her mom and little brother and is secretly in love with her best friend, Dina, who is dating a super jerky jock boy. She also discovers she has superpowers. Or a super curse, maybe. Did she get them from her dad? Is this why her dad killed himself recently?
Then I Googled season 2, only to find it had been renewed and then cancelled because of pandemic logistics.
(Okay, it was actually cancelled last year I just didn't know. I'm not a scientist, you guys!)
Since S1 ended on a cliffhanger, I got the graphic novel from the library thinking I could maybe see where the story was going to go. First, I wasn't crazy about the animation style. Tell me Syd doesn't look like exactly like emo Olive Oyl:
My bigger complaint is holy cats! The graphic novel is pretty different from the show. And turns out, I liked the show much more.
Some of this is because the show obviously had more time to flesh out characters like Syd's mom and brother, Stanley, Dina. But the characters are different too and can we talk about The story starts out similar but quickly diverges to arrive at a completely different ending. And again, the show's ending was much better.
So now I'll never know what was going to happen in S2.
The burning question, as always, is what's the deal with Paris Hilton? I realize there's not a one-to-one relationship programming-wise. But still, while this show was cancelled, Netflix greenlit a trashy dating show about rent boys, a trashy dating show about furries, a reality show about some dumbass TikTok people, and a cooking show with Paris Hilton.
I bet Paris Hilton doesn't even know what a mirepoix is. The moral turpitude of it all.
tl;dr: The show was better than the book, it ended on a cliffhanger, and it's all goddamn Paris Hilton's fault.
Edited to add: This is sitting in my memory like yesterday's PBR in my stomach. Downgrading to two stars.
So, it took me a while to get around to it, but I finally watched season 1 of I Am Not Okay With This on Netflix, a show about a teenage outcast named Syd. Syd lives in a dumpy dead-end small town with her mom and little brother and is secretly in love with her best friend, Dina, who is dating a super jerky jock boy. She also discovers she has superpowers. Or a super curse, maybe. Did she get them from her dad? Is this why her dad killed himself recently?
Then I Googled season 2, only to find it had been renewed and then cancelled because of pandemic logistics.
(Okay, it was actually cancelled last year I just didn't know. I'm not a scientist, you guys!)
Since S1 ended on a cliffhanger, I got the graphic novel from the library thinking I could maybe see where the story was going to go. First, I wasn't crazy about the animation style. Tell me Syd doesn't look like exactly like emo Olive Oyl:
My bigger complaint is holy cats! The graphic novel is pretty different from the show. And turns out, I liked the show much more.
Some of this is because the show obviously had more time to flesh out characters like Syd's mom and brother, Stanley, Dina. But the characters are different too and can we talk about The story starts out similar but quickly diverges to arrive at a completely different ending. And again, the show's ending was much better.
So now I'll never know what was going to happen in S2.
The burning question, as always, is what's the deal with Paris Hilton? I realize there's not a one-to-one relationship programming-wise. But still, while this show was cancelled, Netflix greenlit a trashy dating show about rent boys, a trashy dating show about furries, a reality show about some dumbass TikTok people, and a cooking show with Paris Hilton.
I bet Paris Hilton doesn't even know what a mirepoix is. The moral turpitude of it all.
tl;dr: The show was better than the book, it ended on a cliffhanger, and it's all goddamn Paris Hilton's fault.
Edited to add: This is sitting in my memory like yesterday's PBR in my stomach. Downgrading to two stars.
September 23, 2022
I watched the show with my friend over the summer and it was amazing. Because I loved the show so much I dug a little for the book it was based on and found this. The book is good but the show is better. The show has a better placement than the book. I fully recommend the show but the book is a little less good.
January 20, 2021
I Am Not Okay With this is a simply drawn graphic novel that has since been turned into a Netflix series. I have not seen the Netflix series, I therefore have no opinion on it or whether it's better or worse than the book.
That said, judging by the reviews I read of the book a lot of people who like the series really hate the book. That's not the typical opinion for readers. But I Am Not Okay With This seems to be quite polarizing. I can understand why but I'm going to break down why a lot of the reviews are hating for the wrong reasons.
The book stars Sydney, a very depressed teenager who happens to have some weird mind control powers. She doesn't fully understand what they are or how best to use them but she knows that she can cause some physical harm to people just by thinking about it.
The book follows Sydney as she navigates a less than ideal puberty. She experiements with drugs and sex and generally attempts to fill the void she is feeling. Her coping mechanisms are unhealthy but not unrealistic. It's a fairly honest examination of the most confusing and hormonal years of a person's life. It may not be a universal experience but whether you like it or not it is an accurate one for many young people.
To continue to the full review with some spoilers and a lot of reasons why readers are hypocrites please visit https://amanjareads.com/2021/01/15/i-...
That said, judging by the reviews I read of the book a lot of people who like the series really hate the book. That's not the typical opinion for readers. But I Am Not Okay With This seems to be quite polarizing. I can understand why but I'm going to break down why a lot of the reviews are hating for the wrong reasons.
The book stars Sydney, a very depressed teenager who happens to have some weird mind control powers. She doesn't fully understand what they are or how best to use them but she knows that she can cause some physical harm to people just by thinking about it.
The book follows Sydney as she navigates a less than ideal puberty. She experiements with drugs and sex and generally attempts to fill the void she is feeling. Her coping mechanisms are unhealthy but not unrealistic. It's a fairly honest examination of the most confusing and hormonal years of a person's life. It may not be a universal experience but whether you like it or not it is an accurate one for many young people.
To continue to the full review with some spoilers and a lot of reasons why readers are hypocrites please visit https://amanjareads.com/2021/01/15/i-...
August 3, 2020
What a weird book. First I was really digging it, then it just got super-depressing and didn't really go anywhere, to be honest. I hate when I see great potential in something, but feel like the author wasted it.
A 15-year-old lesbian girl has the power to inflict pain and even kill with her mind. I thought this was going to be a stunning graphic novel about adolescence and having a dangerous power. Unfortunately, it was just depressing and cruel. And not depressing and cruel with a story arc, like LOGAN. Just depressing and cruel and pointless.
Of all the ways to end the book, the fifteen-year-old is such a copout. Neither she nor Forsman explores her options. Nor does Forsman do anything with all the side characters he includes in here. It's such a fucking waste.
I feel like maybe he wanted to be edgy? There was edgy potential in this, but writing a short, pointless novel that ends with your 15-year-old protagonist is not edgy. It's not even clever. It's tired and pointless and has no meaning.
TL;DR Fuck this shit.
NAMES IN THIS BOOK
A 15-year-old lesbian girl has the power to inflict pain and even kill with her mind. I thought this was going to be a stunning graphic novel about adolescence and having a dangerous power. Unfortunately, it was just depressing and cruel. And not depressing and cruel with a story arc, like LOGAN. Just depressing and cruel and pointless.
Of all the ways to end the book, the fifteen-year-old is such a copout. Neither she nor Forsman explores her options. Nor does Forsman do anything with all the side characters he includes in here. It's such a fucking waste.
I feel like maybe he wanted to be edgy? There was edgy potential in this, but writing a short, pointless novel that ends with your 15-year-old protagonist is not edgy. It's not even clever. It's tired and pointless and has no meaning.
TL;DR Fuck this shit.
NAMES IN THIS BOOK
February 1, 2018
I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS by Charles Forsman is the most realistic superhero comic I’ve read, and I’ve read a lot of superhero comics. In short episodic chapters we’re introduced to Sydney, a sad teen, whose dad is dead and her best friend is in love with an asshole. The simple drawings and angsty story captures the restless questioning of adolescence, while the superpower gives the comic what would be called magic realism in literature, but is cape crusades in comic books. All that’s missing is the cape and the super-villain foil. But there is an antagonist and she’s the same person as the protagonist. Instead of the cliched with great power, comes great responsibility motif, Forsman asks, What if we were our own worst enemy?
October 13, 2018
This is a complicated little yellow book. It’s the story of Sydney a working class 15 year old grieving her dad and coming to terms with her sexuality. It was written with tenderness, insight and humour. I really love that this shows what life is like for average teenagers, smoking weed, hating school. There’s a lot of authenticity in the dialogue and atmosphere. I guess the things that I made it not 5 stars for me were the clunky supernatural aspect, which I thought was unnecessary and the drawing style which doesn’t do much for the story. I think these would be better if he collaborated with another artist.
The other thing I’m not sure about is that these are written by a man in his mid 30s. Why is he writing about teenage girls and their orgasms? Like, I’m not a prude but I’m a bit suss of it. Is he throwing the sex in there for the wrong reasons? I don’t want 15 year old girls who are feeling fucked up to be objectified by adult men.
The other thing I’m not sure about is that these are written by a man in his mid 30s. Why is he writing about teenage girls and their orgasms? Like, I’m not a prude but I’m a bit suss of it. Is he throwing the sex in there for the wrong reasons? I don’t want 15 year old girls who are feeling fucked up to be objectified by adult men.
June 2, 2020
A bleak and nihilistic look at a teenage girl struggling with high school, her sexuality, and her psionic powers. Stephen King's Carrie drawn as if she were Olive Oyl.
Trigger warnings:
Trigger warnings:
March 27, 2020
I’ve heard the show is better than the book? 😬
January 21, 2020
20/01/21: the reasons why people seem to dislike this book are exactly the reasons why i love this book. the book is too straightforward? well, it's supposed to written like it's a diary. would you go into extensive detail about every moment in your life in a diary? maybe, but to me, it made sense that this 15 year old girl is being so bleak about her tragic life. she doesn't want to think about how terrible she's got it, so she writes down her thoughts like it's nothing. she's so hopeless that things will turn around - she's already got it ingrained in her mind that her life sucks. there's no point in sugar coating it to make it seem like there's a false bit of hope. sure, it would definitely help if there was more information about the people in the story, but to me, it made sense that bits and pieces were left out. we know only a little about the people in Syd's life, but that's kinda what you'd expect in a diary, right? whatever is most important to the person at the time of writing it. plus, it's not like the diary entries would keep coming, considering how the story ends.
the fact that the book is so linear in how it explains characters and events is what really intrigued me about this story. there's no beef and potatoes, it's really just a skeleton of a story. in most cases, this isn't super desirable. but this format works so well with this story that i don't see any problem with it. yeah this girl's got a fucked up life! that's it! just a girl with a super messed up, shitty way of living! that's all there is to it folks! what's wrong with that? it's a very "in your face" read. it just pushes all these crazy scenarios without the skip of a beat, which i think is why so many people dislike this story. there's no buildup when big events occur. they kinda just... happen. and then Syd moves on. nothing more, nothing less. there's no elaboration afterwards. just, "yup, this fucked up thing just happened to me. i kinda feel terrible about it! ok, anyways-" like, i just love how cut to the chase this story is. no bullshit in between, no filler. it's all just My Life Has Gone To Shit, and Here's How I'm Not Coping With It.
the fact that the book is so linear in how it explains characters and events is what really intrigued me about this story. there's no beef and potatoes, it's really just a skeleton of a story. in most cases, this isn't super desirable. but this format works so well with this story that i don't see any problem with it. yeah this girl's got a fucked up life! that's it! just a girl with a super messed up, shitty way of living! that's all there is to it folks! what's wrong with that? it's a very "in your face" read. it just pushes all these crazy scenarios without the skip of a beat, which i think is why so many people dislike this story. there's no buildup when big events occur. they kinda just... happen. and then Syd moves on. nothing more, nothing less. there's no elaboration afterwards. just, "yup, this fucked up thing just happened to me. i kinda feel terrible about it! ok, anyways-" like, i just love how cut to the chase this story is. no bullshit in between, no filler. it's all just My Life Has Gone To Shit, and Here's How I'm Not Coping With It.
September 8, 2021
This was an interesting book!
The story is about Syd who is dealing with being a teenager but with a twist, she has telekinesis!
I think the simplicity to the book was good, it felt blunt which worked for the story but meant some moments like the ending felt off. However, the book as a whole had a charm to it and to see Syd dealing with her friends, sexuality and other teenage problems was fun to read.
Overall I definitly liked this book and enjoyed reading it, I just have mixed feelings about the ending. I think it has an acquired taste and may not be for everybody though.
The story is about Syd who is dealing with being a teenager but with a twist, she has telekinesis!
I think the simplicity to the book was good, it felt blunt which worked for the story but meant some moments like the ending felt off. However, the book as a whole had a charm to it and to see Syd dealing with her friends, sexuality and other teenage problems was fun to read.
Overall I definitly liked this book and enjoyed reading it, I just have mixed feelings about the ending. I think it has an acquired taste and may not be for everybody though.
February 14, 2020
Here's hoping that the Netflix series will be better.
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