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10 pages, Audiobook
First published March 14, 2017
I took a deep breath, and began searching through my e-mail replies while half of my brain ran circles around my head, screaming in terror. […] I looked at the very first e-mail that came in after the article ran. It began: “Sirs: Your company decision to change the definition of the word ‘marriage’ to include the same-sex perversion is an utter disgrace.”
having a color (such as pale beige or tan) that matches the wearer's skin tones · nude pantyhose · nude lipstick
I rolled my eyes: obviously “irregardless” isn't a valid word, and so it wouldn't be entered into our dictionary. This correspondent had clearly just picked up any old crap dictionary, stumbled across an entry for the nonword “irregardless,” and assumed that we were at fault. Totally frustrating.
I drafted a reply that stated it wasn't in the dictionary, and to prove it, you can visit our website and search our online dictionary for the word, where you will find the following note…. Here I needed the language that we used at that point in time when someone looked up a word that wasn't entered in our online dictionary. I opened up the site, typed in “irregardless,” and promptly lost it: “irregardless” was entered in our dictionary. So great was my surprise that I actually said, out loud and at a normal volume, “You have got to be shitting me.”