Прервавшиеся начинания: Исцеление утрат, связанных с деторождением

by Claudia Panuthos, Catherine Romeo, Клаудия Панутос

Мы живем в культуре, отрицающей смерть; мы боимся смерти и стесняемся сильных эмоций, сопровождающих любую утрату. Особенно тяжело приходится родителям, потерявшим ребенка во время беременности, родов или в раннем младенчестве - их переживания зачастую обесцениваются самыми близкими людьми при неловких попытках отвлечь, защитить от горя и боли. По мнению авторов настоящей книги, общепринятые методы помощи горюющим родителям направлены на подавление эмоций и являются по сути разрушительными. Что может помочь на самом деле - это наше участие в горе и утрате другого человека. Мы не в силах вернуть утраченную жизнь, но можем помочь ужиться с нашей беспомощностью перед лицом смерти.
Книга призвана поддержать родителей, переживших выкидыш, внематочную беременность, мертворождение, смерть новорожденного, гибель ребенка в результате синдрома внезапной детской смерти. Кроме того, горечь утраты - утраты надежд - испытывают бесплодные пары и родители, пережившие необоснованное медикаментозное и хирургическое вмешательство в роды, а также родители детей с тяжелыми врожденными пороками. Авторы рассказывают, как позаботиться о физическом здоровье людей в трауре, как создать правильный психологический настрой на выздоровление, описывают эмоции, обычно сопровождающие утрату, и учат не пугаться их, приводят примеры разрешения конфликтов на духовном уровне. В книге звучит множество рассказов родителей, потерявших детей или утративших надежды, но, в конце концов, нашедших умиротворение. Книга также станет помощником для психологов и психотерапевтов, акушерок и доул.

Genres: Nonfiction

277 pages, Paperback

First published August 30, 1984

Reviews

[Amie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is truly a treasure. What I found most compelling was the observation that we live in a "death-denying" culture and that most people are expected to grieve their loss for a certain amount of time and then get on with their lives as before. Ended Beginnings offers a different approach, which is a holistic path to true healing, at the end of which comes not normal life as before, but a sort of "new normal" which incorporates that grief into the fabric of life. Anyone who has lost a child knows that the pain is never forgotten and the grief cannot be cast aside which is what society expects them to do. So this book is a wonderful alternative. Included are excellent suggestions for healing the physical body after loss including nutrition and exercise, as well as lots and lots of ways to heal the spirit including meditations and suggested exercises to do with a partner.

This book is heavy and the stories of loss make it heartbreakingly difficult to get through. But I feel enriched for having read it, knowing I am armed with a resource to tap if any major loss enters my life, and also a new sensitivity and some tools to help parents I may encounter who have experienced loss.

[Art · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew I was going to like this book right from the preface, when Nancy Cohen says "In my dream, I found a safe and loving place where all people who have ever lost a ... baby ... or a dream of their own, are together". She goes on to say "In my dream, all these people are helped to mend their hearts, revitalize their soul, restore their spirit."
Claudia Panuthos and Catherine Romeo weave together so many stories of childbearing loss, and pay special attention to those who also experienced grieving losses of infertility, and of traumatic labors, and of C-Section surgeries.
I like their practical advice for healing: ways to pay attention to nutrition and exercise, and ways to help the hurts of siblings who also feel the loss. They had some helpful therapeutic advice, too, about using recall processing, and using visualization as part of healing. I appreciated reading about people who felt the loss of their sanity while working through their grieving process.
I share Nancy's dream and have seen the reality of that safe and loving place in Jesus Christ. I read this book in conversation with God and I have some more direction. I'm glad my friend recommended this book!

[Lillibet Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really love their philosophies of experiencing and accepting grief, which I believe can be transferred to other areas of life as well. It certainly is helping me relate to friends who have lost children and I highly recommend it.

[Juanita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Still reading, but very helpful book. Deals with childbearing losses of all kinds in a gentle, loving and healing way.

[Heather Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm anxious to read this book because my mother-in-law wrote a chapter of the book. Her sister is one of the coauthors.