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My Tutu Went Awol
ON THE TWO HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR, IESTYN EDWARDS, BASS BARITONE, BOARDED H.M.S. VICTORY TO SING AT A NAVAL SUPPER IN THE PRESENCE OF HER MAJESTY.
Stacks, Royal Marines Commando, was there on duty. He was also on duty when Iestyn turned up in the middle of the Iraq war on a Combined Services Entertainment tour, this time in a tutu...
(Or if you all really think: in his alter-ego guise as Madame Galina (Ballet Star Galactica).)
Despite trying to dry his ballet tights on the anti-blast wall,singing from a tank turret and confiscating the President of Estonia’s custard creams, the most unlikely friendship was formed.
They even invited him back…
Stacks, Royal Marines Commando, was there on duty. He was also on duty when Iestyn turned up in the middle of the Iraq war on a Combined Services Entertainment tour, this time in a tutu...
(Or if you all really think: in his alter-ego guise as Madame Galina (Ballet Star Galactica).)
Despite trying to dry his ballet tights on the anti-blast wall,singing from a tank turret and confiscating the President of Estonia’s custard creams, the most unlikely friendship was formed.
They even invited him back…
- GenresMemoir
192 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2017
22 people want to read
About the author
Iestyn Edwards
4 books1 follower “A rare and perfect synthesis of art and larkiness…the audience howled with laughter, stamped and cheered”.
The Times, London
From stints entertaining the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, the sell-out West End Hippodrome Boom and Bang Circus, a private performance for Her Majesty, the Olivier Award winning show “C’est Barbican”, two series on Channel 4.
My early experience came touring from age four with my father, Country and Western singer Terry Edwards. Often being on Variety bills with a troupe of all singing animal puppets featuring an emu that belted out “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better” while a giraffe behind it took its knickers off.
I had my formal training as a Hammerstein Chanter at Southwark Cathedral, where I was given three Cadbury Cream Eggs by the Bishop of London for my top A’s on Easter Day and often tripped on the hem of my surplice because my mother rinsed it in Blue Whitener and it blinded me. Shakers thought I was Saint Veronica and, during Schubert’s Mass in G, would roll around on the tomb of High Sheriff Victualler Robert Mason.
At eighteen I went to Guildhall, and first played Madame Galina during the Rag Week Revue there. I later did seasons with British Youth Opera, gave recitals at Southwark Cathedral, Loseley Hall and the Chelsea Arts Club, and held a singing tutorship at the Guildford School of Acting. I performed as Galina at a private party at the Thorpeness Country Club and was spotted by club booker Emily Latham, who arranged for me to audition for Club Kabaret. Within a week I was on a West End stage in front of Madonna, Jude Law and Kate Moss.
In 2000 Simon Casson offered me a wild card entry into Busker of the Year at Duckie. I won that, and was then asked to take part in a showcase for Chrysalis TV, which led to Edinburgh. I won the As Seen on the Big Breakfast Edinburgh Special.
Since Edinburgh, I have been coached by Diana Quick and directed by Neale Simpson (I live in mortal terror of their judgements) touring theatres in “Anything for a Tenor”, “Madame Galina Ballet Star Galactica/New Forces’ Sweetheart” and “Along Came Bill”. After a private performance for Her Majesty, wires got crossed and I ended up on four tours to Iraq and Afghanistan entertaining for Combined Services Entertainment.
The Times, London
From stints entertaining the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, the sell-out West End Hippodrome Boom and Bang Circus, a private performance for Her Majesty, the Olivier Award winning show “C’est Barbican”, two series on Channel 4.
My early experience came touring from age four with my father, Country and Western singer Terry Edwards. Often being on Variety bills with a troupe of all singing animal puppets featuring an emu that belted out “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better” while a giraffe behind it took its knickers off.
I had my formal training as a Hammerstein Chanter at Southwark Cathedral, where I was given three Cadbury Cream Eggs by the Bishop of London for my top A’s on Easter Day and often tripped on the hem of my surplice because my mother rinsed it in Blue Whitener and it blinded me. Shakers thought I was Saint Veronica and, during Schubert’s Mass in G, would roll around on the tomb of High Sheriff Victualler Robert Mason.
At eighteen I went to Guildhall, and first played Madame Galina during the Rag Week Revue there. I later did seasons with British Youth Opera, gave recitals at Southwark Cathedral, Loseley Hall and the Chelsea Arts Club, and held a singing tutorship at the Guildford School of Acting. I performed as Galina at a private party at the Thorpeness Country Club and was spotted by club booker Emily Latham, who arranged for me to audition for Club Kabaret. Within a week I was on a West End stage in front of Madonna, Jude Law and Kate Moss.
In 2000 Simon Casson offered me a wild card entry into Busker of the Year at Duckie. I won that, and was then asked to take part in a showcase for Chrysalis TV, which led to Edinburgh. I won the As Seen on the Big Breakfast Edinburgh Special.
Since Edinburgh, I have been coached by Diana Quick and directed by Neale Simpson (I live in mortal terror of their judgements) touring theatres in “Anything for a Tenor”, “Madame Galina Ballet Star Galactica/New Forces’ Sweetheart” and “Along Came Bill”. After a private performance for Her Majesty, wires got crossed and I ended up on four tours to Iraq and Afghanistan entertaining for Combined Services Entertainment.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
April 21, 2017
Declaration - I have known the author for many years and worked with him professionally, but truly, I was blown away by this book otherwise I would not have posted this review. It is exquisitely written, extremely funny - not many writers can switch from Evelyn Waugh to Victoria Wood in a single sentence - and fascinating. An enchanting and unlikely mixture of showbiz memoir, war reportage and romantic comedy, the tale of how a male ballerina in drag won over our forces fighting in hot dry places has much more to offer than the surface conceptual amusement. Warm, witty, and often very wise, this should be top of your pile for delightful summer reading.
May 18, 2022
The title, “My Tutu Went AWOL” perfectly describes the overall tone/mood/flavour/atmosphere and showbiz feel that the book has. I can’t tell you too much about the ins and-outs (don’t want to ruin it), but I can tell you that it’s a “true story” and I loved it just as much the second time around.
An abridged explanation of the book: The author very bravely went on two tours; one to Iraq and one to Afghanistan to perform his ballet drag act “Madame Galina, Ballet Star Galactica”, and he/she lived to tell the tale.
About the stage act itself, the Liverpool Post said: “Madame Galina had to be the result of a drunken one-night stand between Captain Mainwaring and Anna Pavlova.”
Iestyn Edwards, the author, describes his stage act as: “Character comedy with advanced stooge work and classical ballet skills.”
Well, I think it is so much more than that.
I’ll start by saying that the author was brave in two ways for undertaking the performance tours in two war zones.
One: there was the “theatre of war” just a hand grenade throw away, literally!
And Two: rowdy soldiers are not known for being the easiest audience; especially so when you are a man wearing fuchsia knickers, a tutu, pointe shoes, sparkly tiara and you’re liberally covered in white powder with heavily rouged cheeks.
And among all this “dusty fog of war” and stage performance “carry on” – where to put the tutu when not performing? where to leave the body armour in between acts? should I wear my tiara over the helmet? – an unlikely friendship developed between Madame Galina and Royal Marine Stacks. Stacks became the author’s most ardent protector and who (affectionately) called him Chick and always had the last word. Until the very end of the book, I suppose.
But against all odds, and in the stifling heat of the desert, Madame Galina entertained, impressed, and won over all the soldiers with her dancing. She fouettéd, jeted, and pirouetted herself into a comedic frenzy (though her hamstring was not in full fettle). But wait!
Madame Galina could also sing! I mean “really” SING. Madame Galina in a droopy white tutu, white tights, pointe shoes, and tiara is comedy enough. But add to that a rich, resonant baritone voice and the drag act mould is broken. Well, no wonder the soldiers loved her.
The author is a trained baritone to a high professional level, trained at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama and also held a singing tutorship at the Guildford School of Acting. But there’s much more to her stage show and to the book. And this is the full account of it all. In Two Parts.
Part One: Iraq.
Part Two: Afghanistan.
But will there be a Part Three? Act Three. That is the question.
I’ve watched and listened to several of the author’s performances on YouTube and he can definitely sing. As Royal Marine Stacks had said, “It’s the man with the kryptonite lungs. Decibel count off the scale.” And it’s true. His performance of Fly Home, Little Heart in particular (for me) is hauntingly beautiful. And the comedy sections of the act had the audience in stiches, and I can see why.
I can say that the author has masterfully translated Madame Galina’s adventures and escapades into the written word.
The book’s title must have been inspired by the moment when an alarm went off and Madame Galina went against “camp” protocol during nearby explosions, skipping down the hangar, looking for her tutu, and bleating, “My tutu’s gone AWOL!” Royal Marine Stacks was none too happy when he heard.
Being that this is a book review, maybe I should mention a little about the writing itself.
Straight off the bat, Iestyn Edwards can certainly write and has a unique turn of phrase that can quickly go from “fun, funny, and farcical” to “poignant, touching, and plaintive” and everything in between without feeling artificial or strained. He is quite obviously well-read and has a broad spectrum of knowledge in his mental archive. He references many literary greats, countless events, people, authors, actors, stage shows, operas, ballets, plays, films, and such.
Unsurprisingly, he has been around theatre and performance his entire life. I discovered that he’s the son of a Welsh country and western singer father and failed operatic and stage psychic mother. Interesting mix, especially if you add a young Madame Galina. Imagine that! There’s a comedy TV show in there somewhere. Welsh accents are currently very in. Anyone? Anyone?
Reading this book, I enjoyed living the military day to day happenings from the civilian/drag perspective and also learnt some new things about war and its inner machinations, while being delivered by the idiosyncratic voice of Madame Galina, Ballet Star Galactica through a lot of “show don’t tell”.
If you find yourself struggling with some of the in-jokes and theatrical lingo, just stay with it and enjoy the ride. And if you do, you might just learn something different while having a good giggle. Like with most books, you don’t need to comprehend every single word. All you need to keep in mind is that Madame Galina, Ballet Star Galactica is a comedy ballet drag act on a mission to put a smile on your face (and the soldiers’ faces). And the book does exactly that with words.
To end, I’d like to share a few paragraphs from the book that exhibit Iestyn Edwards’ distinctive, quirky, and eccentric narrative voice at work. Here are some random paragraphs that I liked:
“All too soon we were passing jaundiced brick in rural Oxfordshire, and I could see the Brize Norton airfield, looking a lot like Alcatraz, but minus the redeeming water feature.”
“Callum was short, squat and pasty. No use onstage as a warrior. Would be cast as comedy vicar, village squire murder victim or ship’s steward inevitably left out of lifeboat. I tried to work out his rank from his insignia.”
“The Japanese and the Germans have always taken prostitutes to their soldiers, whereas we have always taken out our very finest. Including some of my own entertainment heroes: Coward, Gielgud, McCormack, Novello and Fonteyn.”
“Oxey ate in that over-dainty way of the morbidly obese pleading underactive thyroid, slow metabolism, or panic-state water retention.”
And here’s my favourite which cleverly references several opening lines from books like: Daphne Du Maurier’s REBECCA, Dicken’s TALE OF TWO CITIES, Austen’s PRIDE AND PREJUDICE and more, but done in the author’s very own inimitable way. I should mention that the author wrote this in answer to a message he had received one Sunday from Royal Marine Stacks who had become (jokingly) proprietorial about the upcoming book by saying: “I want the opening line. Chapter one, paragraph one, line one – mention of me.
The author wrote back saying, “Here are some suggestions for the opening line for your ‘Own’ book:
“Last night I dreamt I went to Marine Base Lydd again… Call him Stacks… It was a dark and stormtroopery night… It was the Stacksiest of times, it was the age of Stacks, it was the epoch of Stacks, it was the season of Stacks… It is a truth universally acknowledged that a drag ballet act sent to entertain in the deserts of Iraq must be in want of a knockabout, shouty, balding Royal Marines Commando…”
And lastly, I think this book would make a wonderful film. Look out “Priscilla Queen of the Desert”! But who would play Madame Galina? The author might have to get that tutu out (if it hasn’t already gone AWOL!).
I generally review only books that I like, and this one is worthy of 5 Stars in my opinion. Certainly worth the money.
Sergiu Pobereznic (author)
An abridged explanation of the book: The author very bravely went on two tours; one to Iraq and one to Afghanistan to perform his ballet drag act “Madame Galina, Ballet Star Galactica”, and he/she lived to tell the tale.
About the stage act itself, the Liverpool Post said: “Madame Galina had to be the result of a drunken one-night stand between Captain Mainwaring and Anna Pavlova.”
Iestyn Edwards, the author, describes his stage act as: “Character comedy with advanced stooge work and classical ballet skills.”
Well, I think it is so much more than that.
I’ll start by saying that the author was brave in two ways for undertaking the performance tours in two war zones.
One: there was the “theatre of war” just a hand grenade throw away, literally!
And Two: rowdy soldiers are not known for being the easiest audience; especially so when you are a man wearing fuchsia knickers, a tutu, pointe shoes, sparkly tiara and you’re liberally covered in white powder with heavily rouged cheeks.
And among all this “dusty fog of war” and stage performance “carry on” – where to put the tutu when not performing? where to leave the body armour in between acts? should I wear my tiara over the helmet? – an unlikely friendship developed between Madame Galina and Royal Marine Stacks. Stacks became the author’s most ardent protector and who (affectionately) called him Chick and always had the last word. Until the very end of the book, I suppose.
But against all odds, and in the stifling heat of the desert, Madame Galina entertained, impressed, and won over all the soldiers with her dancing. She fouettéd, jeted, and pirouetted herself into a comedic frenzy (though her hamstring was not in full fettle). But wait!
Madame Galina could also sing! I mean “really” SING. Madame Galina in a droopy white tutu, white tights, pointe shoes, and tiara is comedy enough. But add to that a rich, resonant baritone voice and the drag act mould is broken. Well, no wonder the soldiers loved her.
The author is a trained baritone to a high professional level, trained at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama and also held a singing tutorship at the Guildford School of Acting. But there’s much more to her stage show and to the book. And this is the full account of it all. In Two Parts.
Part One: Iraq.
Part Two: Afghanistan.
But will there be a Part Three? Act Three. That is the question.
I’ve watched and listened to several of the author’s performances on YouTube and he can definitely sing. As Royal Marine Stacks had said, “It’s the man with the kryptonite lungs. Decibel count off the scale.” And it’s true. His performance of Fly Home, Little Heart in particular (for me) is hauntingly beautiful. And the comedy sections of the act had the audience in stiches, and I can see why.
I can say that the author has masterfully translated Madame Galina’s adventures and escapades into the written word.
The book’s title must have been inspired by the moment when an alarm went off and Madame Galina went against “camp” protocol during nearby explosions, skipping down the hangar, looking for her tutu, and bleating, “My tutu’s gone AWOL!” Royal Marine Stacks was none too happy when he heard.
Being that this is a book review, maybe I should mention a little about the writing itself.
Straight off the bat, Iestyn Edwards can certainly write and has a unique turn of phrase that can quickly go from “fun, funny, and farcical” to “poignant, touching, and plaintive” and everything in between without feeling artificial or strained. He is quite obviously well-read and has a broad spectrum of knowledge in his mental archive. He references many literary greats, countless events, people, authors, actors, stage shows, operas, ballets, plays, films, and such.
Unsurprisingly, he has been around theatre and performance his entire life. I discovered that he’s the son of a Welsh country and western singer father and failed operatic and stage psychic mother. Interesting mix, especially if you add a young Madame Galina. Imagine that! There’s a comedy TV show in there somewhere. Welsh accents are currently very in. Anyone? Anyone?
Reading this book, I enjoyed living the military day to day happenings from the civilian/drag perspective and also learnt some new things about war and its inner machinations, while being delivered by the idiosyncratic voice of Madame Galina, Ballet Star Galactica through a lot of “show don’t tell”.
If you find yourself struggling with some of the in-jokes and theatrical lingo, just stay with it and enjoy the ride. And if you do, you might just learn something different while having a good giggle. Like with most books, you don’t need to comprehend every single word. All you need to keep in mind is that Madame Galina, Ballet Star Galactica is a comedy ballet drag act on a mission to put a smile on your face (and the soldiers’ faces). And the book does exactly that with words.
To end, I’d like to share a few paragraphs from the book that exhibit Iestyn Edwards’ distinctive, quirky, and eccentric narrative voice at work. Here are some random paragraphs that I liked:
“All too soon we were passing jaundiced brick in rural Oxfordshire, and I could see the Brize Norton airfield, looking a lot like Alcatraz, but minus the redeeming water feature.”
“Callum was short, squat and pasty. No use onstage as a warrior. Would be cast as comedy vicar, village squire murder victim or ship’s steward inevitably left out of lifeboat. I tried to work out his rank from his insignia.”
“The Japanese and the Germans have always taken prostitutes to their soldiers, whereas we have always taken out our very finest. Including some of my own entertainment heroes: Coward, Gielgud, McCormack, Novello and Fonteyn.”
“Oxey ate in that over-dainty way of the morbidly obese pleading underactive thyroid, slow metabolism, or panic-state water retention.”
And here’s my favourite which cleverly references several opening lines from books like: Daphne Du Maurier’s REBECCA, Dicken’s TALE OF TWO CITIES, Austen’s PRIDE AND PREJUDICE and more, but done in the author’s very own inimitable way. I should mention that the author wrote this in answer to a message he had received one Sunday from Royal Marine Stacks who had become (jokingly) proprietorial about the upcoming book by saying: “I want the opening line. Chapter one, paragraph one, line one – mention of me.
The author wrote back saying, “Here are some suggestions for the opening line for your ‘Own’ book:
“Last night I dreamt I went to Marine Base Lydd again… Call him Stacks… It was a dark and stormtroopery night… It was the Stacksiest of times, it was the age of Stacks, it was the epoch of Stacks, it was the season of Stacks… It is a truth universally acknowledged that a drag ballet act sent to entertain in the deserts of Iraq must be in want of a knockabout, shouty, balding Royal Marines Commando…”
And lastly, I think this book would make a wonderful film. Look out “Priscilla Queen of the Desert”! But who would play Madame Galina? The author might have to get that tutu out (if it hasn’t already gone AWOL!).
I generally review only books that I like, and this one is worthy of 5 Stars in my opinion. Certainly worth the money.
Sergiu Pobereznic (author)
July 10, 2020
Both my husband and I loved this book. An unusual story, in a time when the world was starting to change and open up. Really entertaining, funny and engaging set in difficult place . Lovely story of friendship too...
October 14, 2022
Fabulous read, really enjoyed it. Although extremely funny, it also made you understand how the army live with the pressure of danger at a moments notice! After reading it I have since met Iestyn and he was very sweet and awfully funny.
May 22, 2017
a nice, light hearted read that made me chuckle.
Read
October 13, 2018Gave up. Wasn’t enjoying.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews