A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic

by Doogie Horner, J.J. Harrison (Illustrations)

A delightful Christmas storybook for adults based on the action-packed Die Hard movie

All John McClane wants for Christmas is to reunite with his estranged family. But when his wife’s office holiday party turns into a deadly hostage situation, he has to save her life before he can get home in time for Christmas!

The unconventional fan-favorite movie Die Hard is now an illustrated storybook—complete with machine guns, European terrorists, and a cop who’s forced to rely on all his cunning and skills (and the help of a fellow officer) to save the day. Based on the classic "Night Before Christmas" poem and filled with whimsical illustrations, this cleverly reimagined homage is destined to become a holiday classic.

*Contains adult material including violence and strong language. Reader discretion is advised. Ho-ho-ho.

Genres: Humor, Christmas, Fiction, Picture Books, Holiday, Poetry, Graphic Novels

32 pages, Hardcover

First published October 24, 2017

About the author

Doogie Horner is the author of This Might Hurt a Bit, Some Very Interesting Cats Perhaps You Weren’t Aware of, Everything Explained Through Flowcharts, A Die Hard Christmas, and other books. His comedy album A Delicate Man was an AV Club staff pick. He won over a hostile NYC audience on America’s Got Talent and is a frequent guest on Doug Loves Movies.

(source: Amazon)

Reviews

[Jakob J. 🎃 · Rating 3 out of 5]

In simpler times, there was this stupid debate among nerds interested in even more trivial matters than I am as to whether the correctly regarded best action movie ever, Die Hard, should be considered a Christmas movie. The obvious answer is ‘yes,’ but the correct answer, as it turned out after a Reddit parley, is ‘who cares?’ Even Macaulay Culkin weighed in on the controversy with a fatuous case against the motion. No, it would not have had the same impact if it took place on St. Patrick’s Day.

It was natural to exploit the sensibilities of such a contentious business by sending up the movie, a classic Christmas poem, and the debate itself by removing any nuance from it in my favorite literary genre: cash-grab novelty hardcover picture books for adults.

I’ll give it credit; not for making me laugh or marvel at its regifted cleverness, but for reminding me that the source material holds up better than most action (and Christmas) movies in the intervening decades.

And wasn’t Alan Rickman just a paradoxical beacon of wry darkness in every role? Damn, I miss him.

[Bill · Rating 5 out of 5]

As it's now December I decided to read this short, but brilliantly fun, story again. Why ? Because Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!
I love Christmas and I love the film Die Hard, so this was a perfect read for me. Taking the classic poem Twas The Night Before Christmas and adapting it to this brilliant 1988 action movie was a superb idea. Fun artwork accompanies a highly amusing text. Inspired!

[Artiom Karsiuk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked this book. Why? Because DIE HARD. Case closed.

P.S. In all seriousness, they covered the essential movie scenes, the illustrations are beautiful, the story is now a poem (as if it wasn't) and they even teased you with leaving out "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!" until the very last page. Perfect.

[The_5ft_reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

cheeky fun little read 😂

[Stace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Reviewed on www.whisperingstories.com

My husband is a massive Die Hard fan, I think I have lost count of how many times he has seen the movie and he states that it is the best Christmas movie ever (if you don’t think it is a Christmas movie just take a look at the plot and think again!) Because of his love for the film a couple of Christmases ago, I saw this book and bought it for him as a present. Now every week on the blog we run ‘Friday Fun Reads’ and I thought this book would be perfect for that segment.

This hardback book follows the plot of the original movie and is told in the poem style of ‘Twas a Night Before Christmas. It begins ‘Twas the night before Christmas and up in the tower, everyone was partying, except one wallflower.

The story is fun, covers most of the main plot, and has some fabulous artwork. Let it be known that this is very much a book for adults as it contains illustrations of blood and gore, plus a few swear words too, but then it wouldn’t be a book about Die Hard if it didn’t.

This is a book for those that love the movie. After seeing the face of my hubby on Christmas morning when he received it I can be confident that other fans will love it too.

[Rosemary Standeven · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading a review on Goodreads for this book, I had to buy it for my husband, who is a die-hard Die Hard fan. He can quote the whole film off by heart – and watches it whenever he needs cheering up (i.e. when England loses at football).
The book did not disappoint either one of us.
Although in the book, John McClane looks nothing like Bruce Willis, the other characters are readily recognisable. The story is written in verse – and pretty much covers all that happens in the film.
There is one point where you think that an important quote has been omitted - but no fear, you just have to wait for it.
The book ends on a real high note for any Die Hard fan

[Sita_belen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A die hard Christmas es un cuento de navidad para adultos basado en la famosa película de Bruce Willis, La jungla de cristal.

Parece un cuento infantil a primera vista pero por dentro está lleno de sangre y disparos. Las ilustraciones son geniales, JJ Harrison ha clavado a los personajes.

Lo que más me ha gustado es que el libro está escrito en rima, como muchos cuentos infantiles (o los muy conocidos cuentos de Dr. Seuss), es muy divertido.

Pero lo cierto es que me ha sabido a poco, hay muchas partes geniales de la película que no aparecen en la historia, me he quedado con ganas de más versos explosivos. 🤭

Yipee-ki - yay HDP!!

[Tony Vacation · Rating 4 out of 5]

An adorable picture-book adaptation of a movie which needs no introduction that is told in the verse styling of "A Visit from St. Nicholas."

[AleJandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 yippee ki yay STARS

Esta adaptación para niños, es muy fiel a la película, sin las groserías, pero con la misma violencia. Así que tengan eso en cuenta si piensan leérselo a un niño.



¿Adivinen que amiguitos?
Yo nunca he visto las películas de Die Hard o como las conocemos en México, Duro de Matar.

Pero yo y mi pequeña hija de 7 años, somos fans extremas de la serie de televisión Brooklyn 99. Y si están familiarizados con esa serie, sabrán que en ella mencionada mucho esa película.
Por lo que mi hija ha querido verla, pero no creo que sea apropiada para su edad. Así que al ver este libro sabía que sería el regalo perfecto para ella.



Lo recomiendo mucho y mi hija más.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading this I might stop fighting Die Hard as a Christmas movie. This is a very enjoyable picture book.

Parents beware - this is definitely for adults as there is blood, violence, and profanity.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read it!

[Jessica Frances · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE IT!

[Zai Zai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Glad I have this. Perhaps the cutest book among my Christmas titles!

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like Die Hard, buy this book.

[Martha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Die Hard. As a book. In rhyme. Genius.

[Garrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute. A must for any Xmas loving cinephile.

[Lorrie (Clockworkbookworm) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This isn't my usual read, but my husband, my youngest daughter and her husband consider Die Hard to be their favorite Christmas movie (mine is White Christmas, lol). This is in full color illustrations and set to The Night Before Christmas's rhyme scheme and, surprisingly, I loved it. Remember this is an adult movie/book and it has violence, blood and has the famous colorful tag line on the last page.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so much fun, especially as a fan of Die Hard! It's told in the style of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and pretty much hits all the major plot points.

[Clint · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sure to be an instant Holiday classic. Yippee-ki-yay motherfuckers.

[Jenn Lopez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ha! Picture book of the Die Hard movie. Genius! In the words of John McClane, "Yippie-Ki-Yay, Motherfucker!"

[Brandon Forsyth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant. The particularly great thing about this charming little book is that each individual terrorist gets a call out, like Santa's reindeer, about halfway through, and they even get the "fists with your toes" thing in. Sure to become a tradition in my household as hallowed as putting up the advent calendars my mom made for us. Only subtracting a star because there is not enough Argyle in this - there should be more Argyle.

[Ken French · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious. I especially liked the way they drew Alan Rickman.

[Hobart · Rating 5 out of 5]

This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
---
This is going to be short and sweet. The premise: Take Die Hard one of the greatest action films ever made, one of the greatest Christmas movies ever made, and an all-around pop culture touchstone and turn it into a ( NOT for kids) rhyming picture book.

I'm not sure I really need to say more, do I?

Horner does an admirable job with taking the flick and turning it into a series of rhymes -- it doesn't feel like a gimmick. A lot of what he doesn't grab, Harrison takes care of in the illustrations. It's not perfect, things are left out, but with only 32 pages -- you pretty much have to. Only 1 four-letter word, too (technically, 12 letters, but you get the point).

The art is great -- although you could make the case that Harrison gave McClane too much hair. The art is dynamic, you can feel the action, the characters all look just right. Some samples of the illustrations are here on Harrison's site.

One complaint? No Argyle. Which I guess makes sense given the limited space, but man . . .

This is a hoot -- yeah, a novelty book, but well executed and well worth a read. Something to bring out every December (if you're the type to do that).

[Jeffrey Bumiller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a lucky man. This past Friday night I won this at the Prince Music Theater in Philadelphia during a pre-screening Die Hard Trivia Battle. This is a beautiful love letter to the greatest Christmas movie of all time and I'm so happy to have it. Die Hard is special to me for many reasons. I have great memories of hanging out with my dad and watching movies that I was perhaps too young to be watching, and Die Hard is one of the first that comes to mind. My wonderful cat Hans is named after the movie's villain, the greatest villain ever, Hans Gruber, an exceptional thief. Hans (the cat) too is an exceptional thief, mostly of bread. Hell, I've modeled my hair style after Holly McClane, nee Gennero. Die Hard is not a perfect movie of course, it hasn't aged well in some spots. It certainly doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, it suffers from misogyny, and treats drug abuse with mockery instead of compassion (I worry that Ellis had a serious problem, even for the 1980s). This book however, is perfect, or as close as you can get. The illustrations are filled with loving detail. You get to see Sgt. Al Powell's Twinkies, John's skull and top hat tattoo and all the terrorist, sorry, thief, hair you could possibly hope for. And just in case you forgot about him, Argyle makes an appearance at the end. A true retelling of an unimpeachable classic.

[A.J. Bauers · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband got this for Christmas. So of course, he read it out loud from our wingback chair as me and my dog sat on the floor with snacks (me: hot chocolate, Charlie dog: rawhide). I see this heartwarming rendition of John McClane versus Hans Gruber becoming a story time Christmas tradition.

(Also, A+ to my narrator. He may sound nothing like Alan Rickman and Bruce Willis, but his enthusiasm is unparalleled.)

[Hilary Scroggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best Christmas movie of all time becomes the best Christmas book of all time.

[Zach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful retelling of a cherished Christmas classic.

[Jon Nikrich]

I received it as a fun Christmas present from my brother. The book earned some goodwill in advance because I like Die Hard and I really like my brother.

[Brandi Briscoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

The perfect holiday book. Will convince you that Die Hard is in fact a Christmas movie/story if you had any (wrong) doubts.

[Syntha Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

In case you even wanted a 2 minute Die Hard in rhyme, this is the book for you. Definitely not for children.