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Arta de a fi fericit într-o lume zbuciumată
„Scopul vieţii noastre este căutarea fericirii“, spunea Sanctitatea Sa Dalai Lama. Dar cum putem ajunge la o viaţă împlinită într-o lume dominată de suferinţă, violenţă, rasism, naţionalism, prejudecăţi, singurătate? Arta de a fi fericit într-o lume zbuciumată încearcă să găsească soluţii la această dilemă, împletind preceptele filozofiei budiste cu psihologia şi psihiatria modernă. În întâlnirile dintre dr Howard Cutler şi Dalai Lama, tonul e mereu pozitiv, proaspăt şi plin de speranţă: orice greutate poate fi depăşită dacă abordăm lucrurile dintr-o perspectivă optimistă, dar realistă. Prin empatie, solidaritate, restabilirea legăturilor cu semenii noştri şi înţelegerea valorilor comunităţii, ne regăsim pe noi înşine şi suntem fericiţi.
„Dalai Lama discută diverse strategii pentru a învinge prejudecăţile şi convingerile stereotipe; ele includ contactul personal, educaţia şi perceperea celorlalţi ca indivizi... Sanctitatea Sa consideră că violenţa este înrădăcinată în emoţiile umane şi modurile de a gândi, şi socoteşte că frica reprezintă una dintre forţele care distrug cel mai mult fericirea umană... Dalai Lama ne indică paşii care trebuie urmaţi pentru a rezolva aceste probleme, cum ar fi încercarea de a-ţi împărtăşi temerile cu ceilalţi, anumite tehnici cognitive şi recursul la credinţă.“ (Spirituality & Practice)
„Dalai Lama discută diverse strategii pentru a învinge prejudecăţile şi convingerile stereotipe; ele includ contactul personal, educaţia şi perceperea celorlalţi ca indivizi... Sanctitatea Sa consideră că violenţa este înrădăcinată în emoţiile umane şi modurile de a gândi, şi socoteşte că frica reprezintă una dintre forţele care distrug cel mai mult fericirea umană... Dalai Lama ne indică paşii care trebuie urmaţi pentru a rezolva aceste probleme, cum ar fi încercarea de a-ţi împărtăşi temerile cu ceilalţi, anumite tehnici cognitive şi recursul la credinţă.“ (Spirituality & Practice)
412 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2008
399 people are currently reading
2052 people want to read
About the author
Dalai Lama XIV
1,553 books6,195 followersJetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso (born Lhamo Döndrub), the 14th Dalai Lama, is a practicing member of the Gelug School of Tibetan Buddhism and is influential as a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, the world's most famous Buddhist monk, and the leader of the exiled Tibetan government in India.
Tenzin Gyatso was the fifth of sixteen children born to a farming family. He was proclaimed the tulku (an Enlightened lama who has consciously decided to take rebirth) of the 13th Dalai Lama at the age of two.
On 17 November 1950, at the age of 15, he was enthroned as Tibet's ruler. Thus he became Tibet's most important political ruler just one month after the People's Republic of China's invasion of Tibet on 7 October 1950. In 1954, he went to Beijing to attempt peace talks with Mao Zedong and other leaders of the PRC. These talks ultimately failed.
After a failed uprising and the collapse of the Tibetan resistance movement in 1959, the Dalai Lama left for India, where he was active in establishing the Central Tibetan Administration (the Tibetan Government in Exile) and in seeking to preserve Tibetan culture and education among the thousands of refugees who accompanied him.
Tenzin Gyatso is a charismatic figure and noted public speaker. This Dalai Lama is the first to travel to the West. There, he has helped to spread Buddhism and to promote the concepts of universal responsibility, secular ethics, and religious harmony.
He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, honorary Canadian citizenship in 2006, and the United States Congressional Gold Medal on 17 October 2007.
Tenzin Gyatso was the fifth of sixteen children born to a farming family. He was proclaimed the tulku (an Enlightened lama who has consciously decided to take rebirth) of the 13th Dalai Lama at the age of two.
On 17 November 1950, at the age of 15, he was enthroned as Tibet's ruler. Thus he became Tibet's most important political ruler just one month after the People's Republic of China's invasion of Tibet on 7 October 1950. In 1954, he went to Beijing to attempt peace talks with Mao Zedong and other leaders of the PRC. These talks ultimately failed.
After a failed uprising and the collapse of the Tibetan resistance movement in 1959, the Dalai Lama left for India, where he was active in establishing the Central Tibetan Administration (the Tibetan Government in Exile) and in seeking to preserve Tibetan culture and education among the thousands of refugees who accompanied him.
Tenzin Gyatso is a charismatic figure and noted public speaker. This Dalai Lama is the first to travel to the West. There, he has helped to spread Buddhism and to promote the concepts of universal responsibility, secular ethics, and religious harmony.
He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, honorary Canadian citizenship in 2006, and the United States Congressional Gold Medal on 17 October 2007.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 160 reviews
December 29, 2010
I would have given it 4 stars if the author didn't repeat himself so much. The content in the book that is actually by the Dalai Lama is minimal, but nice. The author's addition of relevant scientific studies was nice as well, but he didn't need to reiterate, and reiterate, and then summarize, his discussions with the Dalai Lama so much (I understood it the first time). At one point I noticed two paragraphs back to back that said the same thing in different words. I even stumbled across two sentences, that were the exact same, back to back. It made me think I was going a little crazy actually.
Read
February 21, 2018DNFing this one at 15%. It's not bad, but not what I was looking for. The fact that it says it is by the Dalai Lama is quite misleading. It is by a psychologist, Howard Cutler, and includes a few snippets of "talks" with the Dalai Lama. Needless to say, it feels like he used the Dalai Lama's name as an "author" to get it more attention. This one is a third in a series, which I hadn't realized, maybe the first one is better? I am not sure. I think maybe The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World might be a better one to check out. Who knows. I might have stuck with this one longer but Cutler talks in circles a bit and I was getting sleepy just listening to him. He did make some great points about community, but honestly, it felt just like Brene Brown's Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone, that I just finished.
November 18, 2020
Finding Happiness In Oneself And Others
In 1998, H.H. the Dalai Lama and Dr. Howard C. Cutler, an American psychiatrist, wrote a book, "The Art of Happiness" which became a surprise best-seller. The book taught the importance of looking within and of controlling destructive emotions in finding happiness. Then, in 2003, the Dalai Lama and Dr. Cutler again collaborated in a book "The Art of Happiness at Work" which explores the reasons why many people suffer from job dissatisfaction and offers suggestions about improving one's life in the workplace.
The Dalai Lama and Dr. Cutler have again collaborated on this third book, "The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World" (2009) which is substantially more ambitious in scope than its predecessors. The book is based upon a series of conversations between the two men held over the course of several years. Dr. Cutler wrote and formatted the book which was then read and approved by the Dalai Lama's interpreter. The book is roughly structured in the form of conversation and follow-up. Dr. Cutler and the Dalai Lama meet for, roughly, one hour per day during which Cutler questions the Dalai Lama on various matters pertaining to finding happiness. The Dalai Lama responds, frequently by reformulating Cutler's questions, and the two attempt to elaborate their ideas. Cutler usually takes the role of questioner. Following Cutler's descriptions of the meetings, he elaborates and expounds upon the Dalai Lama's ideas in his own voice. Sometimes Cutler offers a commentary upon what he has heard. But more often he uses his experience as a psychiatrist and his familiarity with recent psychological and neurological literature to put the Dalai Lama's ideas in a scientific context. The Dalai Lama's teachings, of course, are ultimately drawn from Buddhism; but this is not a religious book. Instead, the Dalai Lama presents what he calls "secular ethics" which he believes will be of value to people regardless of their religious commitments. Cutler writes from the perspective of Western science with the aim of showing the wisdom to be found in the Dalai Lama's teachings.
The book examines a common dichotomy in thinking about happiness. Some people believe happiness is an individual matter and must be pursued by each person for him or herself independently of social issues. Other people think, roughly, that happiness is social and that it is necessary to look at political and related conditions, such as poverty, war, and prejudice, and alleviate them if people are to be happy. In a variety of ways, the Dalai Lama and Cutler attempt to break down this dichotomy. They try to show that happiness is not an either-or situation but that the individual and the social depend upon each other. Thus, in the first part of the book, titled "I, Us, and Them" they reject both the dichotomy between "I or we" and the further dichotomy between "Us or Them." in favor of an understanding "Me and We" and "Us and Them." Their view is predicated on an understanding of the common humanity everyone shares in which the differences among people, while important and to be treasured and respected, pale in comparison to the qualities shared by all human beings.
In the second part of the book, "Violence versus Dialogue", the Dalai Lama expounds his teaching by focusing on the essential goodness and universality of human nature. He tries to explain the roots of violence in human destructive emotions and in the failure to understand reality. Realizing the difficulty and apparent intractability of some situations, the Dalai Lama and Cutler discuss the importance of seeing questions from many sides and from trying to understand the views of other persons. The authors believe these teachings have relevance to matters such as marriages, friendships, and the workplace, as well as to dealings between nations. Here again, there is a recognition on the Dalai Lama's part of the realistic, situational nature of this approach. It is not offered as a metaphysical or religious teaching.
The final part of the book "Happiness in a Troubled World" draws on the teaching of Buddhism that suffering is endemic to life. Perfection is not to be expected. The Dalai Lama and Cutler describe the importance of positive emotions, including hope, optimism and resilience in finding the way to happiness. Great emphasis is thinking about three things, 1. the social character of human life; 2. the interconnection and interdependence of people in the modern world; and 3. the common nature and character of all persons, in finding a way to individual and societal peace. The ultimate source of the teaching is empathy and compassion for both oneself and for others. In a brief summary in the Introduction to the book, Cutler describes its "key argument" that "positive emotions in general - and the supreme `positive emotions' of compassion and empathy in particular - lie at the intersecting point between inner and outer happiness, with the capacity to simultaneously bring about personal happiness and provide a potential solution to many of the problems plaguing society today (at least as the first step in overcoming these societal problems)"
(Introduction at xvi).
Of the three Dalai Lama - Cutler collaborations, this one is the most challenging. The book is difficult to read. It is written for the lay reader, certainly, but both the Dalai Lama and Cutler conduct their discussions at a learned, serious level. Regardless of one's religious commitments, there is much to be learned about redirecting one's thinking from reading this book. I found it auspicious to read this work at the beginning of a new year.
Robin Friedman
In 1998, H.H. the Dalai Lama and Dr. Howard C. Cutler, an American psychiatrist, wrote a book, "The Art of Happiness" which became a surprise best-seller. The book taught the importance of looking within and of controlling destructive emotions in finding happiness. Then, in 2003, the Dalai Lama and Dr. Cutler again collaborated in a book "The Art of Happiness at Work" which explores the reasons why many people suffer from job dissatisfaction and offers suggestions about improving one's life in the workplace.
The Dalai Lama and Dr. Cutler have again collaborated on this third book, "The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World" (2009) which is substantially more ambitious in scope than its predecessors. The book is based upon a series of conversations between the two men held over the course of several years. Dr. Cutler wrote and formatted the book which was then read and approved by the Dalai Lama's interpreter. The book is roughly structured in the form of conversation and follow-up. Dr. Cutler and the Dalai Lama meet for, roughly, one hour per day during which Cutler questions the Dalai Lama on various matters pertaining to finding happiness. The Dalai Lama responds, frequently by reformulating Cutler's questions, and the two attempt to elaborate their ideas. Cutler usually takes the role of questioner. Following Cutler's descriptions of the meetings, he elaborates and expounds upon the Dalai Lama's ideas in his own voice. Sometimes Cutler offers a commentary upon what he has heard. But more often he uses his experience as a psychiatrist and his familiarity with recent psychological and neurological literature to put the Dalai Lama's ideas in a scientific context. The Dalai Lama's teachings, of course, are ultimately drawn from Buddhism; but this is not a religious book. Instead, the Dalai Lama presents what he calls "secular ethics" which he believes will be of value to people regardless of their religious commitments. Cutler writes from the perspective of Western science with the aim of showing the wisdom to be found in the Dalai Lama's teachings.
The book examines a common dichotomy in thinking about happiness. Some people believe happiness is an individual matter and must be pursued by each person for him or herself independently of social issues. Other people think, roughly, that happiness is social and that it is necessary to look at political and related conditions, such as poverty, war, and prejudice, and alleviate them if people are to be happy. In a variety of ways, the Dalai Lama and Cutler attempt to break down this dichotomy. They try to show that happiness is not an either-or situation but that the individual and the social depend upon each other. Thus, in the first part of the book, titled "I, Us, and Them" they reject both the dichotomy between "I or we" and the further dichotomy between "Us or Them." in favor of an understanding "Me and We" and "Us and Them." Their view is predicated on an understanding of the common humanity everyone shares in which the differences among people, while important and to be treasured and respected, pale in comparison to the qualities shared by all human beings.
In the second part of the book, "Violence versus Dialogue", the Dalai Lama expounds his teaching by focusing on the essential goodness and universality of human nature. He tries to explain the roots of violence in human destructive emotions and in the failure to understand reality. Realizing the difficulty and apparent intractability of some situations, the Dalai Lama and Cutler discuss the importance of seeing questions from many sides and from trying to understand the views of other persons. The authors believe these teachings have relevance to matters such as marriages, friendships, and the workplace, as well as to dealings between nations. Here again, there is a recognition on the Dalai Lama's part of the realistic, situational nature of this approach. It is not offered as a metaphysical or religious teaching.
The final part of the book "Happiness in a Troubled World" draws on the teaching of Buddhism that suffering is endemic to life. Perfection is not to be expected. The Dalai Lama and Cutler describe the importance of positive emotions, including hope, optimism and resilience in finding the way to happiness. Great emphasis is thinking about three things, 1. the social character of human life; 2. the interconnection and interdependence of people in the modern world; and 3. the common nature and character of all persons, in finding a way to individual and societal peace. The ultimate source of the teaching is empathy and compassion for both oneself and for others. In a brief summary in the Introduction to the book, Cutler describes its "key argument" that "positive emotions in general - and the supreme `positive emotions' of compassion and empathy in particular - lie at the intersecting point between inner and outer happiness, with the capacity to simultaneously bring about personal happiness and provide a potential solution to many of the problems plaguing society today (at least as the first step in overcoming these societal problems)"
(Introduction at xvi).
Of the three Dalai Lama - Cutler collaborations, this one is the most challenging. The book is difficult to read. It is written for the lay reader, certainly, but both the Dalai Lama and Cutler conduct their discussions at a learned, serious level. Regardless of one's religious commitments, there is much to be learned about redirecting one's thinking from reading this book. I found it auspicious to read this work at the beginning of a new year.
Robin Friedman
May 24, 2012
This is the third book in the series (a.k.a. the one you get when you put a hold on the wrong version at the library). The parts about group connections, how collectivites work, etc. were interesting, however primarily because I had just read about this from a different perspective in The Tipping Point and coincidentally heard some Ted Talks on the subject as well. Overall, too much Cutler, not enough Dalai Lama.
September 11, 2014
This is probably one of the best non-fiction books I have ever read. It gave me a lot to think about regarding how I view others and how I fit into my community. It showed me that a lot of what makes up the quality of my life is how I view and react to the world around me. This book couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I appreciate that my wife read it and the numerous conversations that this book has motivated.
July 20, 2023
A chart of how much I liked this book over the course of reading it (and the correlated metric of how much I got out of it) would look something like this 📈. I got the vibe early on that Howard Cutler is just a big Dalai Lama fanboy and wanted to brag about how much time he had spent with that great leader. By the end I decided that Howard was simply trying to present his interviews exactly as they occurred, perhaps due to a lack of desire (or a sense of inadequacy) to summarize the Dalai Lama’s teachings. This didn’t make for a particularly readable book, as the finished product is a series of interviews copied verbatim, with interpretations interspersed. You would have more luck with this book if you went into it expecting to follow the author’s personal journey to figuring out how we can be happy in today’s world, rather than expecting to read a summary of those principles (which is what I was expecting). It probably didn’t help that I listened to this book, so it wasn’t as apparent what was dialogue and what wasn’t.
A lot of the content in this book feels generic and repetitive. I imagine you just have to be in the right mindset to “get” it. I thought I would be in a good mindset for it (seeing as I picked this book up in the first place), but apparently that wasn’t the case 🤷♂️ I think I’m learning that I’m more skeptical than I once thought. I was similarly less than impressed with The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.
By the end, however, I was sold on several of the ideas propounded in the book, including:
- The lack of social contact and sense of community is one of the greatest social problems of our day.
- A good humor can go a long way towards dealing with our differences. Indeed, this seems to be one of the Dalai Lama’s superpowers.
- Stereotypes are a helpful tool developed as a sort of shortcut to remembering things about people by putting them in groups. We get into trouble when these shortcuts are used on too individual of a level.
- Studies show that we display in-group favoritism even for arbitrarily created groups and when there is no material advantage for doing so. Whenever I make a judgment about someone (whether they are in my in-group or not), it’s worth recognizing that it probably isn’t completely unbiased.
- Our personal biases and prejudices need to be brought into the open (not repressed or denied) and directly challenged in order to be overcome.
- Viewing humans as inherently good (despite the temptation to view those who do bad things as inherently bad) affords us the ability to give everyone the opportunity to change.
- During the 1990s, the homicide rate decreased by 33% while the homicide coverage rate by the news increased by 473%. We have to be careful with the information we consume.
- The Milgram experiment on obedience to authority (which has apparently been reproduced many times around the world) resulted in 2/3 of all subjects proceeding with the experiment until completion. I might assume 2/3 of all the people I know/meet (including me) would do the same. What a sobering thought.
- We should relate to strangers at our most fundamental level as humans. In that sense, everyone we meet is part of our in-group. This is a powerful strategy to combat prejudice (even subconscious prejudice).
- The book suggests a logical approach to arguing against those who hold racially prejudiced views, like the view that African-Americans earn less money and score worse on scholastic aptitude tests because of inherent racial inferiority. To combat that specific racist viewpoint, Howard suggests as a fact that given the opportunity, those kinds of measured differences can be closed. I would love to learn about specific examples of income/educational gaps being closed as a result of opportunity provided over time. I feel uninformed on that topic.
- I noticed several parallels to Christian doctrines:
- “The positive emotions tend to expand the boundaries of our identity…[they] cause changes in our thinking that result in a tendency to perceive ourselves and others as being more similar.” This expansion of our identity reminds me a lot of a quote by D. Todd Christofferson: “We become more substantive as we serve others - indeed, it is easier to ‘find’ ourselves because there is so much more of us to find!”
- “Increasing happiness and positive emotions…would tend to bring about social change more rapidly than if we attempting to tackle one social problem at a time.” This reminds me of two quotes: 1) “The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment” (Ezra Taft Benson) and 2) “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior” (Boyd K. Packer).
- “Buddha nature, sometimes called the original clear light of mind, is what gives every human being the potential for enlightenment.” This sounds a lot like what I would refer to as the Light of Christ.
I feel more positively about this book now than I did upon completing it. Reviewing the principles I resonated with has left me with a more cohesive view of the principles discussed. I might have to read a physical copy of this book after all.
I looked up the following terms while reading this book: maverick, garden-variety, grassroots, equanimity
A lot of the content in this book feels generic and repetitive. I imagine you just have to be in the right mindset to “get” it. I thought I would be in a good mindset for it (seeing as I picked this book up in the first place), but apparently that wasn’t the case 🤷♂️ I think I’m learning that I’m more skeptical than I once thought. I was similarly less than impressed with The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.
By the end, however, I was sold on several of the ideas propounded in the book, including:
- The lack of social contact and sense of community is one of the greatest social problems of our day.
- A good humor can go a long way towards dealing with our differences. Indeed, this seems to be one of the Dalai Lama’s superpowers.
- Stereotypes are a helpful tool developed as a sort of shortcut to remembering things about people by putting them in groups. We get into trouble when these shortcuts are used on too individual of a level.
- Studies show that we display in-group favoritism even for arbitrarily created groups and when there is no material advantage for doing so. Whenever I make a judgment about someone (whether they are in my in-group or not), it’s worth recognizing that it probably isn’t completely unbiased.
- Our personal biases and prejudices need to be brought into the open (not repressed or denied) and directly challenged in order to be overcome.
- Viewing humans as inherently good (despite the temptation to view those who do bad things as inherently bad) affords us the ability to give everyone the opportunity to change.
- During the 1990s, the homicide rate decreased by 33% while the homicide coverage rate by the news increased by 473%. We have to be careful with the information we consume.
- The Milgram experiment on obedience to authority (which has apparently been reproduced many times around the world) resulted in 2/3 of all subjects proceeding with the experiment until completion. I might assume 2/3 of all the people I know/meet (including me) would do the same. What a sobering thought.
- We should relate to strangers at our most fundamental level as humans. In that sense, everyone we meet is part of our in-group. This is a powerful strategy to combat prejudice (even subconscious prejudice).
- The book suggests a logical approach to arguing against those who hold racially prejudiced views, like the view that African-Americans earn less money and score worse on scholastic aptitude tests because of inherent racial inferiority. To combat that specific racist viewpoint, Howard suggests as a fact that given the opportunity, those kinds of measured differences can be closed. I would love to learn about specific examples of income/educational gaps being closed as a result of opportunity provided over time. I feel uninformed on that topic.
- I noticed several parallels to Christian doctrines:
- “The positive emotions tend to expand the boundaries of our identity…[they] cause changes in our thinking that result in a tendency to perceive ourselves and others as being more similar.” This expansion of our identity reminds me a lot of a quote by D. Todd Christofferson: “We become more substantive as we serve others - indeed, it is easier to ‘find’ ourselves because there is so much more of us to find!”
- “Increasing happiness and positive emotions…would tend to bring about social change more rapidly than if we attempting to tackle one social problem at a time.” This reminds me of two quotes: 1) “The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment” (Ezra Taft Benson) and 2) “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior” (Boyd K. Packer).
- “Buddha nature, sometimes called the original clear light of mind, is what gives every human being the potential for enlightenment.” This sounds a lot like what I would refer to as the Light of Christ.
I feel more positively about this book now than I did upon completing it. Reviewing the principles I resonated with has left me with a more cohesive view of the principles discussed. I might have to read a physical copy of this book after all.
I looked up the following terms while reading this book: maverick, garden-variety, grassroots, equanimity
August 25, 2018
Not actually by Dalai Lama but by a psychiatrist who interviews him. There are snippets from the DL. The writing is repetitive and could use editing. The style is unpleasant. This wasn’t the book I had hoped for.
There are good bits on us vs them thinking. That there isn’t evil. See each person through a lens of compassion. Acts of compassion can increase happiness including ones one. At about 45% there is good info on stress response.
This book should have been about 20% of the length it was.
There are good bits on us vs them thinking. That there isn’t evil. See each person through a lens of compassion. Acts of compassion can increase happiness including ones one. At about 45% there is good info on stress response.
This book should have been about 20% of the length it was.
October 19, 2020
Cutler and the Dalai Lama push the psychology of happiness envelope outward till they are talking about the economics, the culture, the politics and the sociology of happiness. The Dalai Lama sounds simply common-sensical in explaining how empathy and compassion benefit everyone concerned. Cutler scuttles about showing how psychological studies offer evidence that it's true. The division between helping yourself and helping the world starts to look highly artificial, and the way of mutual benefit seems open to all: "Instead of perceiving the pursuit of greater personal happiness as a self-absorbed, self-indulgent luxury, it could be argued that if you are truly concerned about the others' welfare and building a better world, it is your duty to be happy, or to do what you can to become happier."
January 19, 2015
Fairly, and surprisingly, disappointing. Butter spread over too much bread, or whatever the LOTR saying is. There was just so little of the actual words of the Dalai Lama in this book that having him as an author seems really disingenuous. The topic itself, mostly positive psychology and social relations theory are interesting enough, but not for the length of this book, especially without some other narrative to keep it going besides occasional conversations with the Dalai Lama which all seemed to be approximately 4 minutes in length and filled mostly with Cutler's presenting to the Dalai Lama the same info he gives us, and then the Dalai Lama nodding sagely and agreeing. Oh well, still a lot of things to think about.
April 12, 2019
Very Repetitive.
August 19, 2021
This book is like a great conversation between an accomplished psychologist who goes deep into understanding the problems that impact our day-to-day happiness as a species and a great spiritual leader who shares his wisdom to solve these (internal) problems in the form of some practical insights that will help you increase your self-awareness.
NOTE: You don't have to buy something new or consume more to feel happy.
NOTE: You don't have to buy something new or consume more to feel happy.
February 21, 2018
My brain needed this book right now.
December 15, 2020
As many other reviewers have stated, there is a lot of redundancy in this book. The Dalai Lama really shouldn't be listed as the first author either. Much of the book is interviews of the Dalai Lama, the lead-ups to which are pretty tedious. I did very much enjoy the research-based info that was presented in-between the interviews that supported the authors' opinions. Three stars are for awkwardness.
March 4, 2025
Z całym szacunkiem dla Pana Dalajlamy, ale nic odkrywczego nie powiedział. Całą książkę ratują opisy badań i eksperymentów psychologicznych, bo gdyby nie to, to można się zanudzić czytając to.
June 24, 2012
Caveat: as I see it, one could view the DL as a Tibetan Pope, in the medieval sense ... the pinnacle of a theocracy under which all people do not at all share equal access to economic and other opportunities.
So it is rather easy to map all that on to the worst of the worst in Liberal Democratic terms.
Of course there is more to it than that: He and his respected fellows are expert (in the eyes of many) spokesMEN (of course) within the reasonably open world of Buddhist discourse.
Also, is it true that to Western audiences his (stereotypical?) paternal Asian persona of a chuckling gentle self-deprecating, even 'cute', leader maps on to Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, and Father Christmas?
And as the darling of a raft of celebrities, whose judgement is sometimes a little average?
In an era when there is no lack of Greco-Roman (especially US) energy flowing into taking Asian traditions, (Buddhism, Taoism, but not squat toilets!! Huh?) into a process of plucking out the plums and developing hi-speed paths to enlightenment and ..."come to my website and sign up for the CD set".
(Is that the world's longest sentence?)
Also, of course (? :-) that for many people all the above relates to thoughts about inner peace and happiness, where the poor remote Tibetans opened their homes to one of my twee Han Bejingese young woman friends in a way that left her feeling very 'warm-hearted',( ... a stereotypical usage among Chinese learners of English ...)leaving us, with our 8x average personal environmental impact, feeling uneasy about pointing the finger at people in caste-iron (oppressive?) social structures.
"It's their choice ... leave them alone!" Well no, it's not, actually!
And then the regional history, especially referred to by Beijing, and of which I have little knowledge, and little trust in the competing self-interested accounts (and not an overwhelming interest :-( ).
Who fought who(m) and who won, etc.?
Given all that, DL has a lot of interesting things to say, in the nicest possible way.
Given that this book follows the 'No.1 Bestseller 'The Art of Happiness' on personal living, to now attempt to discuss issues such as 'prejudice', 'the roots of violence', 'fear', and 'extreme nationalism' is a chewier task.
Good for him!
He heads toward BIG words such as 'hope, optimism, and resilience', 'humanity', 'empathy', and 'compassion'.
Double good for him!
It's at this point that pundits tend to go vague, and it will be interesting to see whether this happens here in this bi-lingual discussion between His Holiness and His Psychiatristness, Howard C. Cutler, the interviewer.
(Good for him too! :-)
I hope that the rest of the book is as engaging as the first 20 pages. :-)
Update: It's either read-it-in-a-flash, or like most such books, putting each page into practice could take a lifetime.
Relating on a basic human level, knowing your neighbors, suffering with the selfish and insensitive, forming communities without creating warring factions. Totally practical, very much dirt under your fingernails stuff.
And given all that ... is it ultimately a little stodgy, or is 'stodgy' in the eye of the reader?
Unbearably difficult. Exquisitely ... to the point.
So it is rather easy to map all that on to the worst of the worst in Liberal Democratic terms.
Of course there is more to it than that: He and his respected fellows are expert (in the eyes of many) spokesMEN (of course) within the reasonably open world of Buddhist discourse.
Also, is it true that to Western audiences his (stereotypical?) paternal Asian persona of a chuckling gentle self-deprecating, even 'cute', leader maps on to Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, and Father Christmas?
And as the darling of a raft of celebrities, whose judgement is sometimes a little average?
In an era when there is no lack of Greco-Roman (especially US) energy flowing into taking Asian traditions, (Buddhism, Taoism, but not squat toilets!! Huh?) into a process of plucking out the plums and developing hi-speed paths to enlightenment and ..."come to my website and sign up for the CD set".
(Is that the world's longest sentence?)
Also, of course (? :-) that for many people all the above relates to thoughts about inner peace and happiness, where the poor remote Tibetans opened their homes to one of my twee Han Bejingese young woman friends in a way that left her feeling very 'warm-hearted',( ... a stereotypical usage among Chinese learners of English ...)leaving us, with our 8x average personal environmental impact, feeling uneasy about pointing the finger at people in caste-iron (oppressive?) social structures.
"It's their choice ... leave them alone!" Well no, it's not, actually!
And then the regional history, especially referred to by Beijing, and of which I have little knowledge, and little trust in the competing self-interested accounts (and not an overwhelming interest :-( ).
Who fought who(m) and who won, etc.?
Given all that, DL has a lot of interesting things to say, in the nicest possible way.
Given that this book follows the 'No.1 Bestseller 'The Art of Happiness' on personal living, to now attempt to discuss issues such as 'prejudice', 'the roots of violence', 'fear', and 'extreme nationalism' is a chewier task.
Good for him!
He heads toward BIG words such as 'hope, optimism, and resilience', 'humanity', 'empathy', and 'compassion'.
Double good for him!
It's at this point that pundits tend to go vague, and it will be interesting to see whether this happens here in this bi-lingual discussion between His Holiness and His Psychiatristness, Howard C. Cutler, the interviewer.
(Good for him too! :-)
I hope that the rest of the book is as engaging as the first 20 pages. :-)
Update: It's either read-it-in-a-flash, or like most such books, putting each page into practice could take a lifetime.
Relating on a basic human level, knowing your neighbors, suffering with the selfish and insensitive, forming communities without creating warring factions. Totally practical, very much dirt under your fingernails stuff.
And given all that ... is it ultimately a little stodgy, or is 'stodgy' in the eye of the reader?
Unbearably difficult. Exquisitely ... to the point.
February 18, 2017
This second sequel to the original Art of Happiness discuses how to cultivate happiness both on the individual level and a societal level. The more involved one is within one's community (whether it's a church, book club, knitting group, etc.), the happier one tends to be - and the longer one tends to live. Dr. Cutler supplements the Dalai Lama's precious few words in the book with lots of scientific studies supporting the methods discussed. I agree with the comment from other reviewers that I would have preferred more content from His Holiness and a bit less from Dr. Cutler. The one sentence summary is: If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.
March 11, 2013
I haven't read the original The Art of Happiness book. So I just want to highlight some important things.
"Every man tends to be good and positive minded."
"Our reason for having an aggressive mindset is to protect us from immediate dangers (predator/fire/enemy)."
"By making others happy, we make our self happy."
"Hope, optimism, resilience."
"By taking others' perspective, we learn compassion."
"When we see other groups/races/ethnics, we tend to differ them from us. When we realize that we are all the same, things will get better."
The book is great and useful, I don't give it a perfect 5 stars because there are parts in this book that I don't like. Howard Cutler seems to be taking the western perspective when considering Muslims. Both in the Middle East, and worldwide. In the Israeli/Palestinian Conflicts, it's obvious that he considers the Muslims as the "Bad guys", and the Israeli as the protagonists/sufferers. While he is a psychologist and was writing books about societal problems, certainly he hasn't achieve what he was saying (He didn't apply this in his own writing).
Overall, just be patient when reading this book. Set aside your ego and negative emotions, for these are what will be taught to you in this book.
"Every man tends to be good and positive minded."
"Our reason for having an aggressive mindset is to protect us from immediate dangers (predator/fire/enemy)."
"By making others happy, we make our self happy."
"Hope, optimism, resilience."
"By taking others' perspective, we learn compassion."
"When we see other groups/races/ethnics, we tend to differ them from us. When we realize that we are all the same, things will get better."
The book is great and useful, I don't give it a perfect 5 stars because there are parts in this book that I don't like. Howard Cutler seems to be taking the western perspective when considering Muslims. Both in the Middle East, and worldwide. In the Israeli/Palestinian Conflicts, it's obvious that he considers the Muslims as the "Bad guys", and the Israeli as the protagonists/sufferers. While he is a psychologist and was writing books about societal problems, certainly he hasn't achieve what he was saying (He didn't apply this in his own writing).
Overall, just be patient when reading this book. Set aside your ego and negative emotions, for these are what will be taught to you in this book.
July 7, 2010
I'd really give this book three and a half stars. It is written by Howard Cutler, a psychiatrist, based upon a series of interviews he conducted with the Dalai Lama. This is also one in a series of books written by the duo, specifically focusing on how to achieve happiness in a world filled with racism, hatred, stereotypes and fear. What I particularly enjoyed about this book was that Howard supported the Dalai Lama's exercises with scientific proof based upon psychological studies. However, as much as I enjoyed this book for its mental stimulation, at times it was just an information overload and not really applicable to my person journey of finding happiness.
June 5, 2010
Such a shame... since inherently I think both authors may have some interesting things to say... but the verbatim descriptions of the conversations with the Dalai Lama were enough to make me almost put the book down. And, in the end, it really didn't say anything new at all. Some nice points, but overall a huge disappointment.
Read
July 28, 2011This book is good but not what I expected. This is mostly the author and psychiatrist Dr. Cutler asking convoluted questions of the Dalai Lama and very little of the Dalai Lama's answers. I would have much preferred hearing more of the Dalai Lama. However, there are some interesting statistics that make it worth reading.
December 31, 2013
There’s way too much of Cutler's thoughts and not enough of the Dalai Lama. This is more an advertisement for the books written by Cutler and a vehicle for sharing his world view with the express hope that the Dalai Lama would agree with him. Cutler's isn’t an opinion I’d ordinarily care for and I had to give up when his unwitting condescending treatment finally got on my nerves.
May 9, 2017
Terrible. There are some good ideas here, but they're buried in long winded repetitious questions followed by long winded answers, then it's all repeated again and again. Its like there was not an editor involved in this project. Read from any of the researchers mentioned in the book instead like Daniel Gilbert.
May 28, 2019
The author was going around in circles over simplistic points, so I wasn't surprised that the Dalai Lama responded to the author in the way he did. I didn't find the book to add any meaningfully new insights into the human world. A lot of the points were pretty obvious to me. Perhaps this is because I am already from an Eastern culture.
August 24, 2025
This might be the worst book I have ever finished, and only because I wanted to stick with it to the end so I could write a comprehensive review. First of all, starting with the fact that the Dalai Lama has very little involvement, as this book is mostly Howard’s “scientific” drivel, many of the Dalai Lama’s contributions are just “Yes, that’s right” or “I agree”. When he does actually speak, Howard either disagrees, trying to push his “scientific” western narrative or simply being too dense to understand what the Lama is saying. To which he sometimes admits and then pats himself on the back for finally understanding what he was told many sessions ago.
Despite being marketed as an effort to bring eastern and western perspectives together and make Buddhist ideas more interesting to the western (ie. American) public, the vast majority of the book presents studies from social psychology from the western perceptive. Here is the problem: the author takes what the Dalai Lama says and then needs to find validation of each point in psychological experiments. Could have called the book the SCIENCE of happiness then, eh Howard? Of course as it is usually the case with these types, no critical analysis of the studies presented, let alone acknowledgment that they have all been conducted in America (except that one in ISRAEL) and the results are probably not as universal as the author would like us to think. If only he was a bit more open minded.
There is a section in the book that is all about violence, prejudices and all other kinds of threats we live in, where the author intends to prove that human nature is essentially good (which I don’t think he believes himself, but hey the Dalai Lama does so he’ll pretend to agree for the sake of the book) and essentially ends up proving the opposite. My problem with this section was it was overwhelmingly focused on the Holocaust and 9/11 - both terrible tragedies in human history, of course, but what about anything else? Colonisation, slavery, anything? The chapter overwhelmingly deals with prejudices and bias yet the author doesn’t seem to notice his own, constantly bringing up “Palestinian terrorists” and how bad the people of Israel have it, even telling a story of a little girl in Saudi Arabia being taught on national news to hate non-Muslims and become a future suicide bomber. What? Oh, he does bring up one other genocide, namely the Balkan wars, in which again one of the sides was Muslim. Curious as to the same people always being at fault in all the atrocities that Howard here cares about.
Towards the end of the book we see the typical “man discovers empathy” as he seems to think that empathy and compassion are such foreign ideas and are innately connected to Buddhism, and asks the Dalai Lama how a non-Buddhist person can practice them. Man could use a little embarrassment.
He even admits to being a terrible therapist at one point, being shocked that a patient of his felt better after simply talking to him about his problems. I have no words.
All in all I truly believe that the only reason this book succeeded on any level is the Dalai Lama-heavy marketing, his face on the cover, and Howard basically using him as a selling point. Even if it you took out Howard’s never ending, repetitive waffle and the descriptions of how the Dalai Lama sat, multiple mentions of the fact that he paused to think before answering (some should learn) and constantly repeating what was said in previous sessions before getting to any new topic, and only took the Dalai Lama’s words, this book could be a leaflet.
As someone educated in social psychology, I have learnt absolutely nothing new about happiness, Buddhism, or how to be more optimistic about “the troubled world” we live in. And it’s a shame, because I truly believe if Howard stepped aside for once, instead of dismissing what the Dalai Lama said and actually understood some of it, this book could really be something.
Despite being marketed as an effort to bring eastern and western perspectives together and make Buddhist ideas more interesting to the western (ie. American) public, the vast majority of the book presents studies from social psychology from the western perceptive. Here is the problem: the author takes what the Dalai Lama says and then needs to find validation of each point in psychological experiments. Could have called the book the SCIENCE of happiness then, eh Howard? Of course as it is usually the case with these types, no critical analysis of the studies presented, let alone acknowledgment that they have all been conducted in America (except that one in ISRAEL) and the results are probably not as universal as the author would like us to think. If only he was a bit more open minded.
There is a section in the book that is all about violence, prejudices and all other kinds of threats we live in, where the author intends to prove that human nature is essentially good (which I don’t think he believes himself, but hey the Dalai Lama does so he’ll pretend to agree for the sake of the book) and essentially ends up proving the opposite. My problem with this section was it was overwhelmingly focused on the Holocaust and 9/11 - both terrible tragedies in human history, of course, but what about anything else? Colonisation, slavery, anything? The chapter overwhelmingly deals with prejudices and bias yet the author doesn’t seem to notice his own, constantly bringing up “Palestinian terrorists” and how bad the people of Israel have it, even telling a story of a little girl in Saudi Arabia being taught on national news to hate non-Muslims and become a future suicide bomber. What? Oh, he does bring up one other genocide, namely the Balkan wars, in which again one of the sides was Muslim. Curious as to the same people always being at fault in all the atrocities that Howard here cares about.
Towards the end of the book we see the typical “man discovers empathy” as he seems to think that empathy and compassion are such foreign ideas and are innately connected to Buddhism, and asks the Dalai Lama how a non-Buddhist person can practice them. Man could use a little embarrassment.
He even admits to being a terrible therapist at one point, being shocked that a patient of his felt better after simply talking to him about his problems. I have no words.
All in all I truly believe that the only reason this book succeeded on any level is the Dalai Lama-heavy marketing, his face on the cover, and Howard basically using him as a selling point. Even if it you took out Howard’s never ending, repetitive waffle and the descriptions of how the Dalai Lama sat, multiple mentions of the fact that he paused to think before answering (some should learn) and constantly repeating what was said in previous sessions before getting to any new topic, and only took the Dalai Lama’s words, this book could be a leaflet.
As someone educated in social psychology, I have learnt absolutely nothing new about happiness, Buddhism, or how to be more optimistic about “the troubled world” we live in. And it’s a shame, because I truly believe if Howard stepped aside for once, instead of dismissing what the Dalai Lama said and actually understood some of it, this book could really be something.
June 12, 2024
Excellent review of perspectives to take (empathy, compassion, etc) to improve your day-to-day happiness.
Takeaways:
People who are members of 1 community group have half the risk of dying in the next year, compared to non-members, and people who are members of 2 have half the risk of dying in the next year, compared to those who are members of 1 group; so go join a community group. If you're in Philly, you can join a few of my friends and me at the Bowl in Clark Park every night to watch the sunset. :)
I heard this insight before from another book the Dalai Lama cowrote, The Book of Joy, but it always strikes me as something I wish I embodied more completely: if you are afraid of something, and you can do something about it, there is no need for fear, since you can do something about the thing you are afraid of; if you are afraid of something and cannot do anything about it, there is no need for fear, since you cannot do anything about the thing you are afraid of. If this seems circular and obtuse, consider these examples: 1) you see a snake and are afraid the snake may bite you, so you walk away from the snake, so there is no need to fear, since the snake cannot bite you from your safe distance; 2) if you live in a large city and are afraid that your city could be the target of a large-scale attack, there is nothing you can do about this (and moving to the countryside would greet you with its own fears and worries), so your fears cannot do anything productive for you, so there is no need to fear.
Cutler discusses two kinds of hope, one rooted in pathways thinking and the other rooted in agency thinking. Pathways hope says there are steps I can take to get to the place I want to be, while agency hope says I am capable of taking action to get to the place I want to be. The difference may be subtle, but I feel like this will help me in my own life to clarify exactly what kind of hope I'm feeling in a given moment and which is most helpful for me.
My one gripe with Cutler and with this book is his persistent return to the idea that our brains were "designed" for the Pleistocene era and that our "caveman brains" are not well adapted to our modern world, although to be fair to Cutler, this may be a gripe with the state of neuroscience around the time this book was written. In any case, I disagree with this take: 1) designed by whom exactly? our brains were no more designed for stone tool use in the context of hunter-gatherer life as they are for computer use in the context of modern life; our brains have evolved in ways that maximize (relative to the surrounding worse alternatives) our chances to have kids before we die; and 2) I would contend -- as Cutler seems to imply at one point -- that our brains, in order to maximize our chances to have kids before we die, are extraordinarily flexible and not stiffly adapted to a prehistoric world. I would think we would be dead by now if our brains were so rigid that they only work well for the Pleistocene era. Sure, there are some aspects of our neuroanatomy and neurophysiology that are maladaptive, but it is better to think you are being chased by a tiger (or a threatening person in the street) when you are not than it is to be chased by the same and not respond appropriately. I am not convinced that our overgeneralization of anxiety responses, for example, is a bug.
Takeaways:
People who are members of 1 community group have half the risk of dying in the next year, compared to non-members, and people who are members of 2 have half the risk of dying in the next year, compared to those who are members of 1 group; so go join a community group. If you're in Philly, you can join a few of my friends and me at the Bowl in Clark Park every night to watch the sunset. :)
I heard this insight before from another book the Dalai Lama cowrote, The Book of Joy, but it always strikes me as something I wish I embodied more completely: if you are afraid of something, and you can do something about it, there is no need for fear, since you can do something about the thing you are afraid of; if you are afraid of something and cannot do anything about it, there is no need for fear, since you cannot do anything about the thing you are afraid of. If this seems circular and obtuse, consider these examples: 1) you see a snake and are afraid the snake may bite you, so you walk away from the snake, so there is no need to fear, since the snake cannot bite you from your safe distance; 2) if you live in a large city and are afraid that your city could be the target of a large-scale attack, there is nothing you can do about this (and moving to the countryside would greet you with its own fears and worries), so your fears cannot do anything productive for you, so there is no need to fear.
Cutler discusses two kinds of hope, one rooted in pathways thinking and the other rooted in agency thinking. Pathways hope says there are steps I can take to get to the place I want to be, while agency hope says I am capable of taking action to get to the place I want to be. The difference may be subtle, but I feel like this will help me in my own life to clarify exactly what kind of hope I'm feeling in a given moment and which is most helpful for me.
My one gripe with Cutler and with this book is his persistent return to the idea that our brains were "designed" for the Pleistocene era and that our "caveman brains" are not well adapted to our modern world, although to be fair to Cutler, this may be a gripe with the state of neuroscience around the time this book was written. In any case, I disagree with this take: 1) designed by whom exactly? our brains were no more designed for stone tool use in the context of hunter-gatherer life as they are for computer use in the context of modern life; our brains have evolved in ways that maximize (relative to the surrounding worse alternatives) our chances to have kids before we die; and 2) I would contend -- as Cutler seems to imply at one point -- that our brains, in order to maximize our chances to have kids before we die, are extraordinarily flexible and not stiffly adapted to a prehistoric world. I would think we would be dead by now if our brains were so rigid that they only work well for the Pleistocene era. Sure, there are some aspects of our neuroanatomy and neurophysiology that are maladaptive, but it is better to think you are being chased by a tiger (or a threatening person in the street) when you are not than it is to be chased by the same and not respond appropriately. I am not convinced that our overgeneralization of anxiety responses, for example, is a bug.
November 21, 2024
I had a bad feeling when it began with Cutler admitting he had $ in his eyes from the first book in this series (which, I’m sorry, kinda confirmed that bad feeling for me that he also admitted after its success he decided to turn this into a series).
HH Dalai Lama is featured very prominently on the cover and the summary suggests that he is very involved in the “conversations” of this book but it was misleading imo. There were tiny snippets here and there and honestly, it felt like Cutler just really couldn’t relate to what he was saying.
I feel like I can see probably where Cutler’s politics are, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I do feel it kept him from wanting to delve deeper into societal issues. This all felt very shallow for that reason. There was a part where HH uses WWII as an example that we can’t blame only Hitler for what happened, we have to look at what was happening at the time as well. And it felt like Cutler just kinda breezed past that because while he was discussing racism and terrorism, he did not even attempt to discuss the systemic issues with either issue. There was also a part that I’m sure was supposed to be endearing but Cutler was too surprised that HH was kind to a server at an event where he referred to the “rich and powerful” as “movers and shakers” and something about that just really put me off.
Considering how long the book is, I just don’t really understand the justification in not discussing deeper these issues. Given that, to me, this book did an all around disservice to everyone involved because without that it felt a bit like empty platitudes at the end.
Which isn’t to say that there isn’t helpful advice in here. And the many studies that were referenced were extremely interesting. That was actually what kept my interest in finishing the book.
Overall I wanted to read this book because I was hoping that, with our current political climate, I could find a way to cope and relate to people better. I do feel like I came away with a better perspective on that.
HH Dalai Lama is featured very prominently on the cover and the summary suggests that he is very involved in the “conversations” of this book but it was misleading imo. There were tiny snippets here and there and honestly, it felt like Cutler just really couldn’t relate to what he was saying.
I feel like I can see probably where Cutler’s politics are, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I do feel it kept him from wanting to delve deeper into societal issues. This all felt very shallow for that reason. There was a part where HH uses WWII as an example that we can’t blame only Hitler for what happened, we have to look at what was happening at the time as well. And it felt like Cutler just kinda breezed past that because while he was discussing racism and terrorism, he did not even attempt to discuss the systemic issues with either issue. There was also a part that I’m sure was supposed to be endearing but Cutler was too surprised that HH was kind to a server at an event where he referred to the “rich and powerful” as “movers and shakers” and something about that just really put me off.
Considering how long the book is, I just don’t really understand the justification in not discussing deeper these issues. Given that, to me, this book did an all around disservice to everyone involved because without that it felt a bit like empty platitudes at the end.
Which isn’t to say that there isn’t helpful advice in here. And the many studies that were referenced were extremely interesting. That was actually what kept my interest in finishing the book.
Overall I wanted to read this book because I was hoping that, with our current political climate, I could find a way to cope and relate to people better. I do feel like I came away with a better perspective on that.
October 22, 2018
I listened to the audio book version narrated by Marc Cashman.
I thought this was an interesting academic analysis of the causes of unhappiness in the world. I liked the way the book was presented as a series of one-on-one dialogues with the Dalai Lama. It gave the book a personal feel, as if the reader were present, listening in while the Dalai Lama spoke.
One thing that stands out is the idea that the preference for one's own kind is pretty much hardwired in our brains and people must overcome this tendency by recognizing it in ourselves and consciously reminding ourselves of our common humanity. Human brains evolved to handle threats that no longer exist in the modern world. Humans needed to quickly recognize friend or foe, without thinking about it, so the process was made automatic. However, our frontal lobes have the ability to override unconscious racist reactions. In the modern world, getting along with others peacefully is more important to human survival than a quick fight or flight response. We just have to have the will to do it and develop some useful ways of training our brains.
Another interesting idea is that happy people are more generous toward others. So, it is important for us to do things in our lives to promote our own happiness. This doesn't mean giving in to every selfish whim we have, but there are things we can do that science proves makes us happier. Having fun social interactions with our neighbors for example. Another way is through helping others. The more happy people out there, the better off society in general will be.
I thought this was an interesting academic analysis of the causes of unhappiness in the world. I liked the way the book was presented as a series of one-on-one dialogues with the Dalai Lama. It gave the book a personal feel, as if the reader were present, listening in while the Dalai Lama spoke.
One thing that stands out is the idea that the preference for one's own kind is pretty much hardwired in our brains and people must overcome this tendency by recognizing it in ourselves and consciously reminding ourselves of our common humanity. Human brains evolved to handle threats that no longer exist in the modern world. Humans needed to quickly recognize friend or foe, without thinking about it, so the process was made automatic. However, our frontal lobes have the ability to override unconscious racist reactions. In the modern world, getting along with others peacefully is more important to human survival than a quick fight or flight response. We just have to have the will to do it and develop some useful ways of training our brains.
Another interesting idea is that happy people are more generous toward others. So, it is important for us to do things in our lives to promote our own happiness. This doesn't mean giving in to every selfish whim we have, but there are things we can do that science proves makes us happier. Having fun social interactions with our neighbors for example. Another way is through helping others. The more happy people out there, the better off society in general will be.
July 16, 2025
The content of the book is so important for today’s world but the writing style and length just didn’t do it for me. I think this book could’ve been written with half its current length and still all its important messages.
Major theme: The origin of all societal “diseases” - lack of community and trust, prejudice, racism, violence - can be traced back to how we relate to other people, whether we relate to others based on how we are different or how we are similar. When we see others as a “them”, that’s when the problems arise. The antidote is to relate to others in ways that unify and cultivate an awareness of our common humanity. To not let one’s cultural or national identity, or whatever, to override norms basic identity as a human being, as also being a member of the human community. We need to cultivate compassion and empathy for others based on a deep sense of our common humanity.
Common humanity is the underlying human experience. That we all have the same basic aspiration to seek happiness and to overcome suffering. We have all the same human body, the same human emotions and the same human mind. All the features which differentiate us, like wealth, position, status, and so on, are secondary.
Finally, I’m reminded that while the message of the book seems like common sense and basic truths, it’s the actual practice of these basic truths in every day life that’s hard. It’s the practice of cultivating awareness, empathy and compassion towards others and engaging every day life with a “realistic approach” that requires intentionality and mindfulness.
Major theme: The origin of all societal “diseases” - lack of community and trust, prejudice, racism, violence - can be traced back to how we relate to other people, whether we relate to others based on how we are different or how we are similar. When we see others as a “them”, that’s when the problems arise. The antidote is to relate to others in ways that unify and cultivate an awareness of our common humanity. To not let one’s cultural or national identity, or whatever, to override norms basic identity as a human being, as also being a member of the human community. We need to cultivate compassion and empathy for others based on a deep sense of our common humanity.
Common humanity is the underlying human experience. That we all have the same basic aspiration to seek happiness and to overcome suffering. We have all the same human body, the same human emotions and the same human mind. All the features which differentiate us, like wealth, position, status, and so on, are secondary.
Finally, I’m reminded that while the message of the book seems like common sense and basic truths, it’s the actual practice of these basic truths in every day life that’s hard. It’s the practice of cultivating awareness, empathy and compassion towards others and engaging every day life with a “realistic approach” that requires intentionality and mindfulness.
November 4, 2018
It feels fitting that this book took me a lot longer than most to read -- it's been a tough year. It also feels fitting that I finished it today, sitting in the sun on a beautiful day in the midst of many cloudy, grey, and draining days. A few thoughts...
There are many books that I read that induce a basic sense of learning something useful or at least interesting to one aspect of life -- and then there are books that are fundamental.
This is my fourth book by the Dalai Lama, and my reading of it is not only timely -- as we are certainly in some troubling times -- but it also contains timeless wisdom that we are seriously lacking in today's society.
One of the most compelling underlying facts is how shallow most Western thinking around happiness (and all states of mind) is, and how we often don't take the time for the depth of thought necessary to truly understand our own emotions, our minds, and how we relate to others.
The whole series of "The Art of Happiness" books should not be dismissed as simply "self-help", or "Buddhist", or "spiritual".
If you take the time to read and reflect, I think most people will find that the fundamental teachings are also practical, scientifically backed, and based on an outlook on life that can be mutually beneficial to the individual and to society. It certainly has for me.
There are many books that I read that induce a basic sense of learning something useful or at least interesting to one aspect of life -- and then there are books that are fundamental.
This is my fourth book by the Dalai Lama, and my reading of it is not only timely -- as we are certainly in some troubling times -- but it also contains timeless wisdom that we are seriously lacking in today's society.
One of the most compelling underlying facts is how shallow most Western thinking around happiness (and all states of mind) is, and how we often don't take the time for the depth of thought necessary to truly understand our own emotions, our minds, and how we relate to others.
The whole series of "The Art of Happiness" books should not be dismissed as simply "self-help", or "Buddhist", or "spiritual".
If you take the time to read and reflect, I think most people will find that the fundamental teachings are also practical, scientifically backed, and based on an outlook on life that can be mutually beneficial to the individual and to society. It certainly has for me.
November 1, 2025
The Dalai Lama shares a lot of insightful thoughts about human nature and how humans can improve themselves, reduce hate towards "the other," and embrace people who hold different beliefs than themselves. His thoughts were wise and empathetic, and I was able to reduce some of my own prejudices while reflecting on his ideas. I really appreciate how he did not judge people for having prejudice, having certain beliefs, or doing certain things (even if those things might usually be seen in a negative way). The Dalai Lama's ability to step back and view situations without bias is very impressive, and I would definitely recommend reading his thoughts!
I am giving this book 3 stars because it was not entirely what I expected. I thought it would be almost entirely conversations with the Dalai Lama, plus some reflections from the author. Instead, the book was about 50% conversations with the Dalai Lama and about 50% commentary from the author. While Howard Cutler did occasionally give relevant historical background or dive deeper into a topic, I felt that his reflections mostly attempted to clarify ideas that the Dalai Lama had already fully explained. I did not gain much when reading Cutler's clarifications, and I felt they were repetitive.
Despite the repetition, I still highly recommend reading this book, even if you just focus on the conversation part.
I am giving this book 3 stars because it was not entirely what I expected. I thought it would be almost entirely conversations with the Dalai Lama, plus some reflections from the author. Instead, the book was about 50% conversations with the Dalai Lama and about 50% commentary from the author. While Howard Cutler did occasionally give relevant historical background or dive deeper into a topic, I felt that his reflections mostly attempted to clarify ideas that the Dalai Lama had already fully explained. I did not gain much when reading Cutler's clarifications, and I felt they were repetitive.
Despite the repetition, I still highly recommend reading this book, even if you just focus on the conversation part.
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