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98 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 30, 2012
OMG Did this remind me of my high school experience. I had hoped more things had changed but I guess not.
The story is a quick read with both highs and lows. Well worth the read.


I looked over at him and felt an ache in my chest when I realized how much I liked him. I had never felt like I did with Kyle. I couldn’t get close enough to him, and knowing how much I needed to be with him scared the bejeezus out of me. But that fear always ran like a bitch every time he smiled at me.

If she understood the difference between referring to me as “the gay guy” and using my actual name, the knowledge was lost between her vapid gaze and her single AAA-battery brain.

There is a physical reaction that comes when you realize someone is talking directly to you. It’s a bit like a flush, but instead of warmth, it’s a chill that transcends any reaction you have had from a drop in temperature. It runs down your spine, and it’s what I must imagine being chased in a horror movie must feel like: that moment when the fear turns to panic, and no matter how hard you scream at yourself to move, nothing in your body wants to listen to anything you have to say on the matter.
Yes, I’m gay. Yes, I’m dating Brad. I have no idea if he’s gay; if you want to know, ask him. And if you want to know what we’ve done, feel free to describe to me in detail what you’ve done sexually, and I’ll be more than willing to share.” “It’s the twenty-first century; I cannot believe my sex life warrants this much conversation. Are we done?”
I had imagined how horrible it would be if I ever had to come out, but those images were nothing compared to the reality. We sat on the steps of the music room in silence as people walked by, staring at us like we were rare animals on display.
“And if you look to your right you will see a mated pair of North American homosexuals. Please don’t get too close, they spit.”
But as I looked up and realized that this guy, this wonderful boy who never wanted more than to be invisible, had just gone toe to toe with the school’s running back to defend my honor, I knew for a fact that everyone who had come before meant nothing compared to him. I had possessed acquaintances and lackeys, sycophants and hangers-on, in every shape and variety. In all my eighteen years I had never seen what I saw sitting on a crappy nurse’s bed as he knelt next to me.
It was at that very moment I realized I was in love with Kyle Stilleno.

“You are so beautiful,” he said, moving back toward me. His lips touched my shoulder and began to move down as he talked. “You shouldn’t”—kiss—“hate anything”—kiss—“anything so perfect.”
“I didn’t have a life before you. All of that was… was just a waste of time.” I put my hand over his heart. “This, this is the first real thing I have ever felt. You didn’t ruin my life, dummy.” I smiled at him as my own eyes began to mist up. “You saved my life.”
