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Little Green Men—Attack!
It’s all-out laugh warfare when Little Green Men – Attack!
From the far reaches of outer space they come – inscrutable aliens, malicious invaders, wacky tourists from another planet – to conquer, study, and tickle us. From the battlefields of the Ozarks to the marble halls of the Boston Library, from Central Park to the skies above Washington, on the moon and in the seediest bars of Kansas City, they’re here!
But do they really know who they’re up against?
Here are nineteen top-notch science fiction stories guaranteed to make you think –and- laugh, featuring such major writers as Robert Silverberg, Mike Resnick, Allen M. Steele, Esther Friesner, Elizabeth Moon, Seanan McGuire, Jody Lynn Nye, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, James Gunn and many more. From Hugo-nominated editor Bryan Thomas Schmidt and Nebula nominated author Robin Wayne Bailey, Little Green Men – Attack! will attack your funny bone!
Mike Resnick “The Little Green Men take Their Hideous Vengeance, Sort Of”
Kristine Kathryn Rusch “Little (Green) Women”
Dantzel Cherry “Good Neighbor Policy”
Ken Scholes “Stuck in Buenos Aires With Bob Dylan On My Mind”
Jody Lynn Nye “Rule The World”
Seanan McGuire “School Colors”
Martin L. Shoemaker “Meet The Landlord”
Steven H. Silver “Big White Men – Attack”
Selina Rosen “The Green, Green Men of Home”
Beth L. Cato “A Fine Night For Tea and Bludgeoning”
Peter J. Wacks & Josh Vogt “The Game-a-holic’s Guide”
Allen M. Steele “Day of The Bookworm”
Elizabeth Moon “A Greener Future”
Esther M. Friesner “A Cuppa, Cuppa Burnin’ Love”
K.C. Ball “Little Green Guys”
James Gunn “The March Of The Little Green Men”
Bryan Thomas Schmidt & Alex Shvartsman “First Million Contacts”
Robert Silverberg “Hannibal’s Elephants” (reprint)
Robin Wayne Bailey “The Fine Art Of Politics”
From the far reaches of outer space they come – inscrutable aliens, malicious invaders, wacky tourists from another planet – to conquer, study, and tickle us. From the battlefields of the Ozarks to the marble halls of the Boston Library, from Central Park to the skies above Washington, on the moon and in the seediest bars of Kansas City, they’re here!
But do they really know who they’re up against?
Here are nineteen top-notch science fiction stories guaranteed to make you think –and- laugh, featuring such major writers as Robert Silverberg, Mike Resnick, Allen M. Steele, Esther Friesner, Elizabeth Moon, Seanan McGuire, Jody Lynn Nye, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, James Gunn and many more. From Hugo-nominated editor Bryan Thomas Schmidt and Nebula nominated author Robin Wayne Bailey, Little Green Men – Attack! will attack your funny bone!
Mike Resnick “The Little Green Men take Their Hideous Vengeance, Sort Of”
Kristine Kathryn Rusch “Little (Green) Women”
Dantzel Cherry “Good Neighbor Policy”
Ken Scholes “Stuck in Buenos Aires With Bob Dylan On My Mind”
Jody Lynn Nye “Rule The World”
Seanan McGuire “School Colors”
Martin L. Shoemaker “Meet The Landlord”
Steven H. Silver “Big White Men – Attack”
Selina Rosen “The Green, Green Men of Home”
Beth L. Cato “A Fine Night For Tea and Bludgeoning”
Peter J. Wacks & Josh Vogt “The Game-a-holic’s Guide”
Allen M. Steele “Day of The Bookworm”
Elizabeth Moon “A Greener Future”
Esther M. Friesner “A Cuppa, Cuppa Burnin’ Love”
K.C. Ball “Little Green Guys”
James Gunn “The March Of The Little Green Men”
Bryan Thomas Schmidt & Alex Shvartsman “First Million Contacts”
Robert Silverberg “Hannibal’s Elephants” (reprint)
Robin Wayne Bailey “The Fine Art Of Politics”
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First published March 7, 2017
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About the author
Robin Wayne Bailey
94 books40 followersRobin Wayne Bailey is an American fantasy and science fiction author and is a past president (2005-2007) of SFWA, the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America. Robin also served as SFWA's South-Central Regional Director for nine years and has hosted three of SFWA's annual Nebula Awards weekends; two of those Nebula events were held in his home town of Kansas City, Missouri.
Bailey was one of the founders of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer's Hall of Fame in 1996, which merged with Paul G. Allen's Vulcan Enterprises in Seattle in 2004 to become part of the Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame. Robin continues to serve on its annual induction committee.
Bailey graduated from North Kansas City High School, and received a B.A. in English and Anthropology and an M.A. in English Literature from Northwest Missouri State University.
Bailey was one of the founders of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer's Hall of Fame in 1996, which merged with Paul G. Allen's Vulcan Enterprises in Seattle in 2004 to become part of the Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame. Robin continues to serve on its annual induction committee.
Bailey graduated from North Kansas City High School, and received a B.A. in English and Anthropology and an M.A. in English Literature from Northwest Missouri State University.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
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August 11, 2017Not a review. Includes my story "A Fine Night for Tea and Bludgeoning."
October 29, 2024
Wanted a change of pace. Some of the stories were funny...some fell flat, in my opinion.
But yes, definitely different for me!
But yes, definitely different for me!
April 17, 2017
One of the advantages of going to science fiction conventions is that you learn of books you'd never otherwise hear of. In this case, the book was Little Green Men - Attack!, which is a (mostly) humorous collection of short stories featuring, well, little green men.
I learned of the anthology when Martin Shoemaker read his short story "Meet the Landlord." In it, humans have colonized Mars and 30-some years after that "Martians" show up looking for back rent. It was hilarious. Most of the stories were funny, although in "First Million Contacts" the joke was on the humans. In every anthology, there's a story that's the exception to the rule, which in this case was Steven H. Silver's "Big White Men - Attack!" in which the green dust kicked up by Armstrong an Aldrin on the moon isn't dust at all.
This is the third anthology that I've read which was assembled by Bryan Thomas Schmidt, and I've enjoyed them all. Schmidt is becoming a mark of quality for me, and I recommend his stuff.
I learned of the anthology when Martin Shoemaker read his short story "Meet the Landlord." In it, humans have colonized Mars and 30-some years after that "Martians" show up looking for back rent. It was hilarious. Most of the stories were funny, although in "First Million Contacts" the joke was on the humans. In every anthology, there's a story that's the exception to the rule, which in this case was Steven H. Silver's "Big White Men - Attack!" in which the green dust kicked up by Armstrong an Aldrin on the moon isn't dust at all.
This is the third anthology that I've read which was assembled by Bryan Thomas Schmidt, and I've enjoyed them all. Schmidt is becoming a mark of quality for me, and I recommend his stuff.
June 28, 2021
I bought this as part of a monthly Baen bundle a while back and finally have gotten around to reading it. The stories have a nice mix of authors and the tales are fun. Some of my favorite tales were "Stuck in Bueonos Aires with Bob Dylan On My Mind" by Ken Scholes, "School Colors" by Seanan McGuire, and "Day of the Bookworm" by Allen M. Steele. If you enjoy comedy and science fiction, you are likely to find something to enjoy here.
July 29, 2018
Very solid, amusing collection of little green men stories. Very original takes, very different approaches, all humorous. Definitely recommended for someone looking for some light, fun, fast reading.
May 8, 2017
I can highly recommend this book! Some seriously great writing by a lot of authors! I know I'll be rereading this collection again and again.
June 2, 2017
Okay but stories became tedious about 2/3 way through.
June 30, 2017
Horribly funny
This book had me groaning and laughing out loud. Not just a funny book it contains insight into human nature.
This book had me groaning and laughing out loud. Not just a funny book it contains insight into human nature.
November 21, 2017
Great selection of stories. Enjoyed reading this book
May 28, 2018
What an interesting collection! So funny. The Green, Green Men of Home by Celina Rosen was hilarious!!!
April 24, 2022
A fun collection of 19 stories about :little green men" -- mostly. What more could anyone want, except maybe 21 stories?
April 3, 2017
From psychic cats to french-kissing aliens, Baen's Little Green Men--Attack! offers up a variety of laughs from seasoned story tellers and editors.
Each author takes the idea of little green men and runs with it in their own direction, sometimes playing with SF and conspiracy theory tropes, and sometimes shooting off into the unexpected--unless you were expecting Japanese mythological demons (“A Cuppa, Cuppa Burnin' Love” by Esther M. Friesner), or Victorian roller-skate-offs (“A Fine Night for Tea and Bludgeoning” by Beth L. Cato) complete with satirically stiff Victorian style. And speaking of sportswomen who take their sport seriously, “School Colors” by Seanan McGuire is another particularly funny story featuring a paranormal-fighting cheer leading team that may remind readers of shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Turn the ridiculousness up another notch for “Big White Men—Attack!” by Steven H Silver, in which aliens the size of dust motes (Mars dust, to be precise) face off against unwitting astronauts Buzz and Neil.
Elizabeth Moon delivers plenty of creepy factor in “A Greener Future,” where an entertaining troop of little green men are more trouble than they appear. Then in “Rule the World” by Jody Lynn Nye, we get suspiciously charismatic aliens who just want to sign a peace treaty with us, but psychic cats object.
“Stuck in Buenos Aires With Bob Dylan On My Mind” by Ken Scholes is an escapist piece with a beatnik feel (beatnik because... Bob Dylan) in which the narrator is stranded on Earth with the ability to play Bob Dylan songs and speak Spanish, which isn't quite as helpful as one would think in France.
Kristine Kathryn Rusch gives us a wonderfully cynical essay from student to teacher in “Little (Green) Women," because in a universe where little green men might exist, maybe they're bizarre enough to like Little Women.
Martin L. Shoemaker's “Meet the Landlord” is a tale of one-upmanship that zips along with clever dialogue and running jokes after invisible aliens demand back-payment for humanity's use of the moon.
Little green men can be quite belligerent in “The Little Green Men Take Their Hideous Vengeance, Sort Of” by Mike Resnick. In “Good Neighbor Policy” by Dantzel Cherry, bad attitudes are met with good ole Texas hospitality, which includes pie--the fire ants aren't nearly so accommodating. “Little Green Guys” by K. C. Ball brings us another goofy tall tale in which aliens with attitude demand help in recovering their ship.
Closing the anthology out is “The Fine Art of Politics” by Robin Wayne Bailey, an appropriately over-the-top riff on enthusiastic military who like to shoot every thing out of the sky. “Day of the Bookworm” by Allen M. Steele earlier in the line-up offers the opposite approach, where librarians handle the aliens before the military even knows about them. “First Million Contacts” by Bryan Thomas Schmidt and Alex Shvartsman take the idea of appeasing aliens in another direction--what if your first alien tried to french kiss you...in Walmart?
Also included is “Hannibal's Elephants” by Robert Silverberg, a classic 1988 reprint from Omni.
Each author takes the idea of little green men and runs with it in their own direction, sometimes playing with SF and conspiracy theory tropes, and sometimes shooting off into the unexpected--unless you were expecting Japanese mythological demons (“A Cuppa, Cuppa Burnin' Love” by Esther M. Friesner), or Victorian roller-skate-offs (“A Fine Night for Tea and Bludgeoning” by Beth L. Cato) complete with satirically stiff Victorian style. And speaking of sportswomen who take their sport seriously, “School Colors” by Seanan McGuire is another particularly funny story featuring a paranormal-fighting cheer leading team that may remind readers of shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Turn the ridiculousness up another notch for “Big White Men—Attack!” by Steven H Silver, in which aliens the size of dust motes (Mars dust, to be precise) face off against unwitting astronauts Buzz and Neil.
Elizabeth Moon delivers plenty of creepy factor in “A Greener Future,” where an entertaining troop of little green men are more trouble than they appear. Then in “Rule the World” by Jody Lynn Nye, we get suspiciously charismatic aliens who just want to sign a peace treaty with us, but psychic cats object.
“Stuck in Buenos Aires With Bob Dylan On My Mind” by Ken Scholes is an escapist piece with a beatnik feel (beatnik because... Bob Dylan) in which the narrator is stranded on Earth with the ability to play Bob Dylan songs and speak Spanish, which isn't quite as helpful as one would think in France.
Kristine Kathryn Rusch gives us a wonderfully cynical essay from student to teacher in “Little (Green) Women," because in a universe where little green men might exist, maybe they're bizarre enough to like Little Women.
Martin L. Shoemaker's “Meet the Landlord” is a tale of one-upmanship that zips along with clever dialogue and running jokes after invisible aliens demand back-payment for humanity's use of the moon.
Little green men can be quite belligerent in “The Little Green Men Take Their Hideous Vengeance, Sort Of” by Mike Resnick. In “Good Neighbor Policy” by Dantzel Cherry, bad attitudes are met with good ole Texas hospitality, which includes pie--the fire ants aren't nearly so accommodating. “Little Green Guys” by K. C. Ball brings us another goofy tall tale in which aliens with attitude demand help in recovering their ship.
Closing the anthology out is “The Fine Art of Politics” by Robin Wayne Bailey, an appropriately over-the-top riff on enthusiastic military who like to shoot every thing out of the sky. “Day of the Bookworm” by Allen M. Steele earlier in the line-up offers the opposite approach, where librarians handle the aliens before the military even knows about them. “First Million Contacts” by Bryan Thomas Schmidt and Alex Shvartsman take the idea of appeasing aliens in another direction--what if your first alien tried to french kiss you...in Walmart?
Also included is “Hannibal's Elephants” by Robert Silverberg, a classic 1988 reprint from Omni.
April 7, 2017
An overall really enjoyable anthology of comedic SF stories built off of the classic SF trope that aliens are "little green men." In most of these stories, the aliens are in fact some combination of "little," "green," and "men," although not necessarily all three at the same time (and in one or two of the stories, the aliens are none of the three, exceptions that prove the rule if you will).
There are some themes that recur (for instance, the idea that aliens learn what they know of Earth from our television transmissions or aliens who think looking like cats will help them conquer the Earth), but even so the stories are very individual. Some are gut-laugh funny, others are whimsical. Some are subtle, some are slapstick.
To mention a few favorites:
"Little Green Guys" by K.C. Ball. Given my love for "Guys & Dolls" and for Damon Runyon in general, how could I not love this Runyon-esque Roswell alien landing story? Really, how could I not wish I had written it? Absolutely my favorite story in the anthology. Great voice, great fun.
"Stuck In Buenos Aires With Bob Dylan On My Mind" by Ken Scholes starts out as a "shipwrecked" type of tale, with music as the tool that crosses cultural divides -- almost too well. Again, great voice, great subtle jokes, and a bit of a heart-tugger.
"School Colors" by Seanan McGuire. This is not the first story McGuire has written featuring the Johnson's Crossing Fighting Pumpkins Cheerleaders, but it might now be my favorite. Cheerleaders from Earth versus cheerleaders from an alien world? Cool.
"A Fine Night For Tea and Bludgeoning" by Beth Cato. Victorian setting, confused aliens, and proto-roller-derby of a sort. Again, another great character voice. Cato is fully in her element.
"Big White Men -- Attack!" by Steven H. Silver gives us a look at the Armstrong/Aldrin moon landing from a very different, and much closer-to-the-ground, perspective. Fun.
I could go on: every story in the book has something to recommend it. Definitely worth seeking out!
There are some themes that recur (for instance, the idea that aliens learn what they know of Earth from our television transmissions or aliens who think looking like cats will help them conquer the Earth), but even so the stories are very individual. Some are gut-laugh funny, others are whimsical. Some are subtle, some are slapstick.
To mention a few favorites:
"Little Green Guys" by K.C. Ball. Given my love for "Guys & Dolls" and for Damon Runyon in general, how could I not love this Runyon-esque Roswell alien landing story? Really, how could I not wish I had written it? Absolutely my favorite story in the anthology. Great voice, great fun.
"Stuck In Buenos Aires With Bob Dylan On My Mind" by Ken Scholes starts out as a "shipwrecked" type of tale, with music as the tool that crosses cultural divides -- almost too well. Again, great voice, great subtle jokes, and a bit of a heart-tugger.
"School Colors" by Seanan McGuire. This is not the first story McGuire has written featuring the Johnson's Crossing Fighting Pumpkins Cheerleaders, but it might now be my favorite. Cheerleaders from Earth versus cheerleaders from an alien world? Cool.
"A Fine Night For Tea and Bludgeoning" by Beth Cato. Victorian setting, confused aliens, and proto-roller-derby of a sort. Again, another great character voice. Cato is fully in her element.
"Big White Men -- Attack!" by Steven H. Silver gives us a look at the Armstrong/Aldrin moon landing from a very different, and much closer-to-the-ground, perspective. Fun.
I could go on: every story in the book has something to recommend it. Definitely worth seeking out!
May 4, 2017
I enjoyed some of the perspectives, particularly when the aliens interact with regular humans. And I loved the library.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews