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Fear of Flying Workbook: Overcome Your Anticipatory Anxiety and Develop Skills for Flying with Confidence
Leads readers step-by-step with proven techniques that finally make it possible to conquer their fear of flying
You’ve tried to face your fear of flying, but the harder you try to control it, the worse it gets. This book teaches how to work constructively with your brain so you can address your anxiety in different ways that truly help you let go of the fear.
Packed with hands-on exercises, this book helps you better understand both the anticipatory anxiety prior to a flight as well as the fear experienced on board—and provides the tools needed to successfully fill the role of passenger,
• Questionnaires and fill-in-the-blanks
• Pre-flight checklists and practice flight itinerary
• In-flight panic journal and symptom graphs
• Symptom and response inventories
• Breathing and meditation exercises
Drawing from exposure therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, the methods in this book will help
• Understand how you became afraid
• Discard safety objects and behaviors
• Identify signal fears and false alarms
• Use the AWARE steps onboard the plane
• Recognize and respond to symptoms
• Restore your ability to fly and travel
You’ve tried to face your fear of flying, but the harder you try to control it, the worse it gets. This book teaches how to work constructively with your brain so you can address your anxiety in different ways that truly help you let go of the fear.
Packed with hands-on exercises, this book helps you better understand both the anticipatory anxiety prior to a flight as well as the fear experienced on board—and provides the tools needed to successfully fill the role of passenger,
• Questionnaires and fill-in-the-blanks
• Pre-flight checklists and practice flight itinerary
• In-flight panic journal and symptom graphs
• Symptom and response inventories
• Breathing and meditation exercises
Drawing from exposure therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, the methods in this book will help
• Understand how you became afraid
• Discard safety objects and behaviors
• Identify signal fears and false alarms
• Use the AWARE steps onboard the plane
• Recognize and respond to symptoms
• Restore your ability to fly and travel
- GenresSelf Help
136 pages, Paperback
Published July 27, 2021
36 people are currently reading
228 people want to read
About the author
David A. Carbonell
5 books33 followersDavid Carbonell, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist who specializes in treating anxiety. He is the author of four self-help books: Panic Attacks Workbook, The Worry Trick, Fear of Flying Workbook, and Outsmart Your Anxious Brain. He is also the “coach” of the popular self-help site, anxietycoach, and his books are all available for purchase there. In his spare time, he is the founding member of The Therapy Players, an improvisational comedy troupe of professional psychotherapists in the Chicago area.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 8, 2022
I mean. I guess it's kind of useful. I'm still terrified though. I'm gonna fly, but I'll just be shit scared while I do it.
May 14, 2025
As a fearful flyer, I listened to this audiobook in the few days leading up to a recent flight. Although my fear was not completely eliminated, and I still had moments of SHEER TERROR AND PANIC during the flight (particularly during turbulence), I was able to engage with them more calmly and with greater presence of mind than I have in the past.
The things I found most helpful:
- Discovering that it is not the actual flying that I fear, but that I fear my feelings of fear and entrapment during the flight. This was a real light-switch moment for me.
- Expect fear.
- Using the AWARE acronym:
- Acknowledge and Accept my feelings (don’t try to distract myself as this only strengthens the fear habit)
- Wait for the feelings to pass and Watch for the role I am taking on (victim or observer)
- Act (grounding exercises, mindfulness, other techniques)
- Repeat as often as needed
- End (know that the feelings of fear will end)
- Imagining the plane in a block of jello.
I doubt I will ever fly without feeling any fear. But I am hopeful for improvement.
The things I found most helpful:
- Discovering that it is not the actual flying that I fear, but that I fear my feelings of fear and entrapment during the flight. This was a real light-switch moment for me.
- Expect fear.
- Using the AWARE acronym:
- Acknowledge and Accept my feelings (don’t try to distract myself as this only strengthens the fear habit)
- Wait for the feelings to pass and Watch for the role I am taking on (victim or observer)
- Act (grounding exercises, mindfulness, other techniques)
- Repeat as often as needed
- End (know that the feelings of fear will end)
- Imagining the plane in a block of jello.
I doubt I will ever fly without feeling any fear. But I am hopeful for improvement.
January 6, 2020
I’ve read a lot of books to try and help me overcome my fear of flying, however this book has been the most useful. With exercises throughout to guide you along, it’s a new and effective approach to tackling this particular fear/phobia. An easy 5*, with much gratitude sent to the author!
February 7, 2026
This review is really long because it’s for my benefit, not yours. I can’t look at the book when I’m on the way to or at the airport, but I could look at this review and refresh my recollection.
The reason I chose this book is because the other ones were all by pilots. What could they possibly know about being afraid to fly? I don’t need to hear a technical description of why planes are safe; that’s not what my problem is. This book is written by a clinical psychologist who understands anxiety pretty well.
It took me (hardcore procrastinator) about five months to get through this book. Not the kind of thing to leaf through in one sitting, and there are a lot of exercises.
Spoiler alert, this book does not promise to take your fear of flying away. The end goal is to be able to fly anyway even though you are terrified. That was a bit disappointing because that’s basically where I am already, but it seems realistic.
The author divides the most common fears into two categories: fear of plane crash and fear of being trapped/just can’t stand it. I’m mostly the second type. The author’s description “fearful thoughts of being so afraid that they lose their mind and never get it back” pretty much nailed it. “People with this type of fear usually imagine it ending with the crew and passengers overpowering them, restraining them with handcuffs, duct tape, rope...” Yep, I have imagined this! He also mentions that people can bring other pre-existing fears onto planes. Yep, also me. The author takes pains not to label these fears as irrational. “For one thing, the term ‘irrational’ sounds kind of critical and insulting. For another, it’s common for people who struggle with fear of flying to start thinking of themselves as irrational, rather than the fears.”
With some questions for you so you can figure out where you are in this, the author divides the fearful people into four groups. 1. People who fear crashing and are strongly convinced they can predict which planes will crash on the basis of their feelings. 2. People who have in the past disrupted air travel (like my fear about going berserk and being carried off in plasticuffs, only if it actually happened.) (He makes it clear that shouting aloud once, asking to be let off while the plane is still boarding, being surly to the flight attendant, or grabbing the hand of the person next to you don’t count. Those things are not actually disruptive.) 3. People who are afraid of crashing but don’t truly believe that they can predict it. 4. People who fear losing control and their mind giving way, but this has never actually happened to them. The author says that this book probably can’t help groups 1 and 2 and they should consult a professional in real life if they want to fly. I’m in group 4, so I kept on reading.
The biggest takeaway for me was that we are trying to avoid fear/panic/anxiety, but we need to live through it and learn that while unpleasant, we can survive it and be okay. Accept the symptoms of fear rather than resist them. “You experience discomfort and treat it like danger.” He acknowledges that “discomfort” is a mild word! But he wanted something that starts with D. “You don’t have to wait for a day when you feel fearless.”
Another major part of the book that spoke to me was about “safety behaviors.” If you have a “safety behavior” like carrying a lucky object, closing your eyes, gripping the armrest, lots of alcohol--something that provides a few moments of relief--this will backfire in the long run as you become more dependent on the safety behaviors and erode your confidence in yourself. This sounds sensible to me but I kind of don’t care. I am never going to stop [some of] my safety behaviors! You will only get my hei matau necklace off me if you are carrying me away in those plasticuffs. (However I have sometimes forgotten to wear it and it didn’t make any difference.) The author suggests using a counterintuitive response to all your little coping mechanisms. For example, instead of waiting to be the last one to get on the plane, get on as soon as possible. Hahaha, no.
Some of the other safety behaviors I felt personally called out about: “Extra efforts to be healthy ... and sleep, as if in training for an athletic event.” “An unusual amount of time and effort devoted to meditation... as if on an emergency basis.” You mean... it’s not an emergency? “Very thorough attention and excessive time given to packing your luggage, perhaps as a distraction or a strong desire to feel in control.” “Seeking opinions about the flight; seeking reassurance that you will be okay.” “Trying to hide your fear from others.” “Treating minor decisions, like what shirt to wear, as if they will be of importance.” But they will be important!? “Trying to sit in a ‘good seat,’ whatever you think it is.” But the window seat IS the good seat! There are studies! “Looking at pictures of loved ones.” A friend of mine also does this, and one time the man sitting beside her said, “Wow, you really like that singer. You were looking at photos of him for the whole flight.” Rude!! I think the author goes overboard calling emptying your fridge before your trip a safety behavior. Surely you are supposed to do this?
Final comment on safety behaviors: “Do you have any items on your list that have actually helped you become less afraid so that you are willing to fly again? Or have they just helped you ‘get through’ that particular moment at the price of making you more afraid the next time?”
Some of the book’s other notable recommendations or comments:
-There’s an exercise on cataloguing your symptoms of fear, just observing them. There are fearful thoughts (“We tend to think our thoughts are really important and accurate. But thoughts are just what the brain does, in the same way that digestion is what the stomach does,”) negative emotions (shame, embarrassment), physical sensations (labored breathing, feeling lightheaded, urge to pee), and involuntary fearful behaviors (crying or drumming your fingers. These he says you can just observe. Hyperventilating or holding your breath, for that he recommends breathing exercises, although he notes some other mental health professionals say it’s fine to just observe them while they’re happening too.)
After cataloguing the symptoms he has a few questions about: are any of them dangerous, unforgivable, permanent etc. The last question is, “Does it seem like a good trade to you to give up flying for the rest of your life, if that’s what it takes to avoid these symptoms?”
-There’s an exercise on making a list of your fearful thoughts. “Did you find that you’re a little fearful of writing out your fearful thoughts?”
-“Fearful fliers often try to hide their fear, to keep it a secret. What’s the opposite of secrecy? Self-disclosure!” He suggests mentioning your fears to the flight attendant when you get on the plane, because it’s actually not that big a deal, no one cares!
-He suggests that you don’t have to do anything special (go to bed early/late, alcoholic beverage, etc) the night before your practice flight (for me, it was a “real” flight.) You’re not the flight crew; your job is going to be to “sit and be afraid, and practice responding to those emotions in an accepting way. You don’t need to be well-rested for that.” I did find this liberating.
-He says sometimes people cope with anticipatory anxiety by telling themselves they haven’t made the final decision yet about if they’re going on the trip or not. He doesn’t recommend this because it increases the chance you won’t go.
-On the flight you can graph your anxiety from zero to 100 every ten minutes. I didn’t actually do this but it sounded like it might be helpful. Basically be “an observer, not a victim.”
-“Every panic attack ends regardless of what the person does.”
Did this book help me become less afraid of flying? Yes, it did! Not that much, but some. I think it was helpful to find out that my fears are common and not unique, much as I like to think of myself as unique. The book also made me realize I’m lucky because a lot of people are much more afraid of flying than I am. I liked that the fearful people were sorted into four categories and I felt that I ended up in a "good" category. Just having a framework and tasks to do was helpful; any rational, positive attention to this problem is probably helpful. The idea that I am not going to actually lose my mind forever was revelatory and comforting.
What is missing from this book? It was written in 2017, so any fears that are related to the Covid era are not addressed. The author does not talk at ALL about going through security. I realized I am actually even more afraid of going through security than the flight itself.
Since I read this book nine months ago I have taken twelve flights, which is a lot of flights, sorry Mother Earth. I would say that at first I was less afraid of flying but then by the end I was more afraid again. (“I made it through this time but how many more times can I keep doing this until I can’t take it anymore?”) Hoping that revisiting this book and writing this review may help, because some of the material stayed with me but some I had forgotten. I know I am already at the gold standard of being afraid but doing it anyway, but I gotta believe maybe it could get easier.
What did I not like about the book or not agree with?
-I thought the description of what the amygdala does and how your brain works seemed simplistic and probably not accurate, but whatever.
-Justifying your fears/doubling down on feeling trapped. The author says people blame the confinement of the plane, the fact that they can’t leave. But “they’ve often sat in a chair that’s no bigger than the airline seat for hours--at home, in a football stadium, at a concert, or at a funeral service--without any trouble. This has more to do with their thoughts about being ‘trapped’ than it does the actual space and circumstances.” Disagree! In all those examples, if you start to have a panic attack you can get up and leave. You can’t do that when the plane is in the air; you actually are trapped. And if you’re flying to the other coast or to Europe, that trip is 7+ hours! When is the last time you were at a funeral or any of the other examples for 7 hours?
(I have enough self-awareness to realize this is exactly the kind of justification the author is talking about. “People are naturally inclined to take their thoughts literally, and either argue with them, trying to prove that their fears are mistaken, or agree with the thoughts and try to justify them.” Okay. But I still think I’m right.) One thing the author said that did make sense to me is that while you are flying, the safest place to be is in the plane. So in that sense you are not trapped. You’re merely “inconvenienced.”
-“Worrying is a leisure-time activity. We only engage with it when we don’t have something really important to do, in the present, and in the environment around us.” Buddy, no, I can multi-task.
The reason I chose this book is because the other ones were all by pilots. What could they possibly know about being afraid to fly? I don’t need to hear a technical description of why planes are safe; that’s not what my problem is. This book is written by a clinical psychologist who understands anxiety pretty well.
It took me (hardcore procrastinator) about five months to get through this book. Not the kind of thing to leaf through in one sitting, and there are a lot of exercises.
Spoiler alert, this book does not promise to take your fear of flying away. The end goal is to be able to fly anyway even though you are terrified. That was a bit disappointing because that’s basically where I am already, but it seems realistic.
The author divides the most common fears into two categories: fear of plane crash and fear of being trapped/just can’t stand it. I’m mostly the second type. The author’s description “fearful thoughts of being so afraid that they lose their mind and never get it back” pretty much nailed it. “People with this type of fear usually imagine it ending with the crew and passengers overpowering them, restraining them with handcuffs, duct tape, rope...” Yep, I have imagined this! He also mentions that people can bring other pre-existing fears onto planes. Yep, also me. The author takes pains not to label these fears as irrational. “For one thing, the term ‘irrational’ sounds kind of critical and insulting. For another, it’s common for people who struggle with fear of flying to start thinking of themselves as irrational, rather than the fears.”
With some questions for you so you can figure out where you are in this, the author divides the fearful people into four groups. 1. People who fear crashing and are strongly convinced they can predict which planes will crash on the basis of their feelings. 2. People who have in the past disrupted air travel (like my fear about going berserk and being carried off in plasticuffs, only if it actually happened.) (He makes it clear that shouting aloud once, asking to be let off while the plane is still boarding, being surly to the flight attendant, or grabbing the hand of the person next to you don’t count. Those things are not actually disruptive.) 3. People who are afraid of crashing but don’t truly believe that they can predict it. 4. People who fear losing control and their mind giving way, but this has never actually happened to them. The author says that this book probably can’t help groups 1 and 2 and they should consult a professional in real life if they want to fly. I’m in group 4, so I kept on reading.
The biggest takeaway for me was that we are trying to avoid fear/panic/anxiety, but we need to live through it and learn that while unpleasant, we can survive it and be okay. Accept the symptoms of fear rather than resist them. “You experience discomfort and treat it like danger.” He acknowledges that “discomfort” is a mild word! But he wanted something that starts with D. “You don’t have to wait for a day when you feel fearless.”
Another major part of the book that spoke to me was about “safety behaviors.” If you have a “safety behavior” like carrying a lucky object, closing your eyes, gripping the armrest, lots of alcohol--something that provides a few moments of relief--this will backfire in the long run as you become more dependent on the safety behaviors and erode your confidence in yourself. This sounds sensible to me but I kind of don’t care. I am never going to stop [some of] my safety behaviors! You will only get my hei matau necklace off me if you are carrying me away in those plasticuffs. (However I have sometimes forgotten to wear it and it didn’t make any difference.) The author suggests using a counterintuitive response to all your little coping mechanisms. For example, instead of waiting to be the last one to get on the plane, get on as soon as possible. Hahaha, no.
Some of the other safety behaviors I felt personally called out about: “Extra efforts to be healthy ... and sleep, as if in training for an athletic event.” “An unusual amount of time and effort devoted to meditation... as if on an emergency basis.” You mean... it’s not an emergency? “Very thorough attention and excessive time given to packing your luggage, perhaps as a distraction or a strong desire to feel in control.” “Seeking opinions about the flight; seeking reassurance that you will be okay.” “Trying to hide your fear from others.” “Treating minor decisions, like what shirt to wear, as if they will be of importance.” But they will be important!? “Trying to sit in a ‘good seat,’ whatever you think it is.” But the window seat IS the good seat! There are studies! “Looking at pictures of loved ones.” A friend of mine also does this, and one time the man sitting beside her said, “Wow, you really like that singer. You were looking at photos of him for the whole flight.” Rude!! I think the author goes overboard calling emptying your fridge before your trip a safety behavior. Surely you are supposed to do this?
Final comment on safety behaviors: “Do you have any items on your list that have actually helped you become less afraid so that you are willing to fly again? Or have they just helped you ‘get through’ that particular moment at the price of making you more afraid the next time?”
Some of the book’s other notable recommendations or comments:
-There’s an exercise on cataloguing your symptoms of fear, just observing them. There are fearful thoughts (“We tend to think our thoughts are really important and accurate. But thoughts are just what the brain does, in the same way that digestion is what the stomach does,”) negative emotions (shame, embarrassment), physical sensations (labored breathing, feeling lightheaded, urge to pee), and involuntary fearful behaviors (crying or drumming your fingers. These he says you can just observe. Hyperventilating or holding your breath, for that he recommends breathing exercises, although he notes some other mental health professionals say it’s fine to just observe them while they’re happening too.)
After cataloguing the symptoms he has a few questions about: are any of them dangerous, unforgivable, permanent etc. The last question is, “Does it seem like a good trade to you to give up flying for the rest of your life, if that’s what it takes to avoid these symptoms?”
-There’s an exercise on making a list of your fearful thoughts. “Did you find that you’re a little fearful of writing out your fearful thoughts?”
-“Fearful fliers often try to hide their fear, to keep it a secret. What’s the opposite of secrecy? Self-disclosure!” He suggests mentioning your fears to the flight attendant when you get on the plane, because it’s actually not that big a deal, no one cares!
-He suggests that you don’t have to do anything special (go to bed early/late, alcoholic beverage, etc) the night before your practice flight (for me, it was a “real” flight.) You’re not the flight crew; your job is going to be to “sit and be afraid, and practice responding to those emotions in an accepting way. You don’t need to be well-rested for that.” I did find this liberating.
-He says sometimes people cope with anticipatory anxiety by telling themselves they haven’t made the final decision yet about if they’re going on the trip or not. He doesn’t recommend this because it increases the chance you won’t go.
-On the flight you can graph your anxiety from zero to 100 every ten minutes. I didn’t actually do this but it sounded like it might be helpful. Basically be “an observer, not a victim.”
-“Every panic attack ends regardless of what the person does.”
Did this book help me become less afraid of flying? Yes, it did! Not that much, but some. I think it was helpful to find out that my fears are common and not unique, much as I like to think of myself as unique. The book also made me realize I’m lucky because a lot of people are much more afraid of flying than I am. I liked that the fearful people were sorted into four categories and I felt that I ended up in a "good" category. Just having a framework and tasks to do was helpful; any rational, positive attention to this problem is probably helpful. The idea that I am not going to actually lose my mind forever was revelatory and comforting.
What is missing from this book? It was written in 2017, so any fears that are related to the Covid era are not addressed. The author does not talk at ALL about going through security. I realized I am actually even more afraid of going through security than the flight itself.
Since I read this book nine months ago I have taken twelve flights, which is a lot of flights, sorry Mother Earth. I would say that at first I was less afraid of flying but then by the end I was more afraid again. (“I made it through this time but how many more times can I keep doing this until I can’t take it anymore?”) Hoping that revisiting this book and writing this review may help, because some of the material stayed with me but some I had forgotten. I know I am already at the gold standard of being afraid but doing it anyway, but I gotta believe maybe it could get easier.
What did I not like about the book or not agree with?
-I thought the description of what the amygdala does and how your brain works seemed simplistic and probably not accurate, but whatever.
-Justifying your fears/doubling down on feeling trapped. The author says people blame the confinement of the plane, the fact that they can’t leave. But “they’ve often sat in a chair that’s no bigger than the airline seat for hours--at home, in a football stadium, at a concert, or at a funeral service--without any trouble. This has more to do with their thoughts about being ‘trapped’ than it does the actual space and circumstances.” Disagree! In all those examples, if you start to have a panic attack you can get up and leave. You can’t do that when the plane is in the air; you actually are trapped. And if you’re flying to the other coast or to Europe, that trip is 7+ hours! When is the last time you were at a funeral or any of the other examples for 7 hours?
(I have enough self-awareness to realize this is exactly the kind of justification the author is talking about. “People are naturally inclined to take their thoughts literally, and either argue with them, trying to prove that their fears are mistaken, or agree with the thoughts and try to justify them.” Okay. But I still think I’m right.) One thing the author said that did make sense to me is that while you are flying, the safest place to be is in the plane. So in that sense you are not trapped. You’re merely “inconvenienced.”
-“Worrying is a leisure-time activity. We only engage with it when we don’t have something really important to do, in the present, and in the environment around us.” Buddy, no, I can multi-task.
January 31, 2019
One of the best books on the subject. Helpful for other types of phobias as well.
June 4, 2019
This is a great book to read if you have a fear of anything. It has great insight into the science of fear and anxiety and provides real solutions on how to face them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 12, 2024
This book helped me work through my fear and anxiety. I loved that it has a workbook inside too
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews