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Slab Rat
Zachary Arlen Post is an up-and-coming editor at It magazine, one of the glossiest jewels in the crown of Versailles Publishing. The son of socialite parents, Zack was educated at the right schools, is an excellent golfer....
Or maybe not.
He is really Allen Zachary Post from Long Island, a guy with a background too downmarket for someone who wants to move up the ladder at It. Despite his pose, Zack's ascent up the masthead has stalled, and his love life is complicated by two a cool English beauty with a hyphenated name and an eager, sweet-natured intern Zack could bring home to Mom. With the arrival of Mark Larkin, a determined, Harvard-educated editor who knows all the right moves, Zack's prospects for promotion grow dimmer. Mark seems to be the source of all of Zack's woes. Zack wishes Mark were dead.
Ted Heller has written a biting, outrageous story of how the rats that battle for dominance amid New York's skyscrapers -- or "slabs" -- survive and triumph, and the price they must pay to win.
Or maybe not.
He is really Allen Zachary Post from Long Island, a guy with a background too downmarket for someone who wants to move up the ladder at It. Despite his pose, Zack's ascent up the masthead has stalled, and his love life is complicated by two a cool English beauty with a hyphenated name and an eager, sweet-natured intern Zack could bring home to Mom. With the arrival of Mark Larkin, a determined, Harvard-educated editor who knows all the right moves, Zack's prospects for promotion grow dimmer. Mark seems to be the source of all of Zack's woes. Zack wishes Mark were dead.
Ted Heller has written a biting, outrageous story of how the rats that battle for dominance amid New York's skyscrapers -- or "slabs" -- survive and triumph, and the price they must pay to win.
- GenresFiction
336 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2000
1 person is currently reading
93 people want to read
About the author
Ted Heller
6 books40 followersHello, Reader.
I am the author of three—no, make that FOUR—novels. They are, in order of appearance: Slab Rat, Funnymen, Pocket Kings, and West of Babylon.
Slab Rat was a dark novel about office politics in the magazine business and how one man (the book's narrator) would sink to any level to succeed. The Washington Post named it one of the year's 10 best books.
Funnymen was a slightly less dark, fictitious "oral biography" about a Martin-and-Lewis-type comedy team. It followed them from cradle to grave. If there's a better novel out there about comedians, I don't know about it.
Pocket Kings, which came out in 2012, was a very, very dark novel about a failed writer who achieves playing online poker the success and glory he sought in the literary world. Thought he makes hundreds of thousands of dollars playing, he still manages to lose everything else.
And now comes West of Babylon. It's not really that dark at all but, compared to Pocket Kings, neither is a black room with no windows, doors, light and air. West of Babylon is about a Long Island-based rock band that's been together for almost forty years. Although their heyday is long gone, they still record and play. They now face their most serious crisis ever, though, as one of the band members is seriously ill.
My agent and I sent out West of Babylon on the heels of the rave reviews for Pocket Kings, but publishers passed on it. I thought that this book was too good to not publish so I am publishing it myself, in electronic format only. There was no way I was going to let this story and these characters die.
I had a lot of fun writing and researching West of Babylon. I listened to music I hadn't listened to for a while and read books about the Rolling Stones, the Band, the Allman Brothers, etc.
I hope you read West of Babylon and really like it.
Thanks
I am the author of three—no, make that FOUR—novels. They are, in order of appearance: Slab Rat, Funnymen, Pocket Kings, and West of Babylon.
Slab Rat was a dark novel about office politics in the magazine business and how one man (the book's narrator) would sink to any level to succeed. The Washington Post named it one of the year's 10 best books.
Funnymen was a slightly less dark, fictitious "oral biography" about a Martin-and-Lewis-type comedy team. It followed them from cradle to grave. If there's a better novel out there about comedians, I don't know about it.
Pocket Kings, which came out in 2012, was a very, very dark novel about a failed writer who achieves playing online poker the success and glory he sought in the literary world. Thought he makes hundreds of thousands of dollars playing, he still manages to lose everything else.
And now comes West of Babylon. It's not really that dark at all but, compared to Pocket Kings, neither is a black room with no windows, doors, light and air. West of Babylon is about a Long Island-based rock band that's been together for almost forty years. Although their heyday is long gone, they still record and play. They now face their most serious crisis ever, though, as one of the band members is seriously ill.
My agent and I sent out West of Babylon on the heels of the rave reviews for Pocket Kings, but publishers passed on it. I thought that this book was too good to not publish so I am publishing it myself, in electronic format only. There was no way I was going to let this story and these characters die.
I had a lot of fun writing and researching West of Babylon. I listened to music I hadn't listened to for a while and read books about the Rolling Stones, the Band, the Allman Brothers, etc.
I hope you read West of Babylon and really like it.
Thanks
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
January 1, 2016
You must think magazines are fun. Hell, you’re reading one right now. But a new salvo from the inside blares that it ain’t no picnic. Ted Heller’s thinly veiled Slab Rat paints a portrait of the magazine world with venom: Protagonist Zack Post — an underling at a fairly vain glossy called It — must run a gauntlet of callow backstabbers to bust out of his cream - colored cubicle. Even though Ted Heller’s prose doesn’t do his wit justice, his bile is perfectly, depressingly corrosive. If this sounds like a book you actually want to read, then you’ve probably already read it in galleys. But if you just want to fake it, read on….
November 16, 2012
Slab Rat comes dripping with praise from various highbrow publications, including one cover quote comparing it favourably to Heller's father's most famous work, Catch 22. This is unfair on him (who can compete with a cultural landmark like that?) and even more unfair on the reader, as expectations can only be dashed.
And dashed they are, but not necessarily because it's a bad book. On the contrary, it's well-written, pacy and readable. But it's throwaway fluff, and derivative to boot. Billed as satire, this is a story of Manhattan office life in the high-powered, superficial world of glossy magazine journalism. The satire, presumably, stems from the fact that everyone is selfish, jealous and happy to scramble over others on their way to the top. Not least our protagonist who has lied about his background and is quite happy to watch his best friend go slowly insane, as long as he can benefit in some way.
It's only satirical, however, if you work in publishing and get the references to feature commissioning and review writing. Otherwise it's just a caricature of slimy yuppies, which means that it comes across as American Psycho without the serial killing or graphic sex. My recommendation would be that if that floats your boat Kill Your Friends is far funnier, more coruscating and genuinely satirical without being a horrible read (American Psycho's downfall). And if you want real, life-changing satire, Heller Sr knew exactly how to do it.
And dashed they are, but not necessarily because it's a bad book. On the contrary, it's well-written, pacy and readable. But it's throwaway fluff, and derivative to boot. Billed as satire, this is a story of Manhattan office life in the high-powered, superficial world of glossy magazine journalism. The satire, presumably, stems from the fact that everyone is selfish, jealous and happy to scramble over others on their way to the top. Not least our protagonist who has lied about his background and is quite happy to watch his best friend go slowly insane, as long as he can benefit in some way.
It's only satirical, however, if you work in publishing and get the references to feature commissioning and review writing. Otherwise it's just a caricature of slimy yuppies, which means that it comes across as American Psycho without the serial killing or graphic sex. My recommendation would be that if that floats your boat Kill Your Friends is far funnier, more coruscating and genuinely satirical without being a horrible read (American Psycho's downfall). And if you want real, life-changing satire, Heller Sr knew exactly how to do it.
June 16, 2019
This sat on my shelf for 9 years. Every time I picked it up, I looked at the cover and thought "meh", and put it back. Finally I started reading it, and it was great fun. So a win for the writer, but a loss for the book cover designer?
June 30, 2017
God! Awful!
I cannot even begin to describe what I hated in this book because there were too many things. I fully understand this is satire and I fully understand how it's worked in books but there is a certain storyline that goes along and unfortunately I couldn't find it. Not a strong one anyway. There were moments throughout the book where one paragraph ended in a different scene and the next started from a completely different scene that happened hundred pages ago with no caution beforehand. I was confused at first and slowly that confusion turned into annoyance and later into disbelief because it just kept getting worse with every line.
The idea of black comedy was interesting but so abruptly written I couldn't sink in one incident when the next poured down on me altogether all of a sudden.
And don't even get me started at the characters. There were too many of them and all so frickin' stupid and lame and selfish and fraudulent that I hated them all. That's the point of satire, I know, but at least bring in something original? All of their deaths had somehow abruptly occurred I would have given this book five stars, for sure. Anything to get rid of the pests.
There were few good elements for which I give it two stars like humour in the beginning which started getting annoying as the pages turned.
I cannot even begin to describe what I hated in this book because there were too many things. I fully understand this is satire and I fully understand how it's worked in books but there is a certain storyline that goes along and unfortunately I couldn't find it. Not a strong one anyway. There were moments throughout the book where one paragraph ended in a different scene and the next started from a completely different scene that happened hundred pages ago with no caution beforehand. I was confused at first and slowly that confusion turned into annoyance and later into disbelief because it just kept getting worse with every line.
The idea of black comedy was interesting but so abruptly written I couldn't sink in one incident when the next poured down on me altogether all of a sudden.
And don't even get me started at the characters. There were too many of them and all so frickin' stupid and lame and selfish and fraudulent that I hated them all. That's the point of satire, I know, but at least bring in something original? All of their deaths had somehow abruptly occurred I would have given this book five stars, for sure. Anything to get rid of the pests.
There were few good elements for which I give it two stars like humour in the beginning which started getting annoying as the pages turned.
April 27, 2009
This wasn't a bad book...and was entertaining....but, I have a hard time with books where none of the characters are likeable. Especially the main character who wants his boss dead...but, manipulates his best friend into doing it for him. I don't even understand why he wants the life he's desperate to have. It's just a unpleasant life.
If this is how magazine life is in reality, it is completely unappealing.
If this is how magazine life is in reality, it is completely unappealing.
October 2, 2012
Dark comedy. It was okay but halfway through I thought I might just stop reading it. I perservered and finished it. Clever writing but I never warmed to the main character and didn't feel the sense of wanting him to succeed.
August 30, 2007
Fun, but not substantial. A cotton candy book on dysfunctional office life.
April 29, 2019
"But a rat's got to do what a rat's got to do."
This is a dark, satirical tale filled with mostly repellant and morally vacuous characters occupied in the intraoffice power grabs and daily backstabbing grind of publishing a glossy, trendy, (somehow) successful magazine. Our protagonist, Zachary "Zeke" Post, is an a-hole, but he works with and for bigger a-holes, and together they're politically incorrect in pretty much every way possible. It's more amusing than funny, though it is well-paced. Set in pre-9/11 New York, it did strike me as oddly dated--not sure if that's the result of some of the then-celebrities occasionally mentioned or the fact that the Concorde is still making leaps across the Pond or that you could still rent a ride from the "Jihad Car Service" or, for that matter, work for a magazine industry that was still a glitzy, thriving force. That said, this mostly works, especially if you like your comedy black--and ruthless.
First line:
"Sleek, glossy art deco chrome, everything is sparkling silver and black and white."
This is a dark, satirical tale filled with mostly repellant and morally vacuous characters occupied in the intraoffice power grabs and daily backstabbing grind of publishing a glossy, trendy, (somehow) successful magazine. Our protagonist, Zachary "Zeke" Post, is an a-hole, but he works with and for bigger a-holes, and together they're politically incorrect in pretty much every way possible. It's more amusing than funny, though it is well-paced. Set in pre-9/11 New York, it did strike me as oddly dated--not sure if that's the result of some of the then-celebrities occasionally mentioned or the fact that the Concorde is still making leaps across the Pond or that you could still rent a ride from the "Jihad Car Service" or, for that matter, work for a magazine industry that was still a glitzy, thriving force. That said, this mostly works, especially if you like your comedy black--and ruthless.
First line:
"Sleek, glossy art deco chrome, everything is sparkling silver and black and white."
May 17, 2025
Zachary "Zeke" Post ist der kommende Star beim Lifestyle-Magazin It. Er kommt aus bestem Haus, hat einen exzellenten Abschluss an einer Eliteuniversität gemacht und lebt in einem schicken Apartment. Das Leben könnte nicht schöner sein. Oder doch?
Zacharys Leben könnte wirklich nicht schöner sein, wenn es nur wahr wäre. Er wäre gerne der kommende Star bei It. In Wirklichkeit muss er immer anderen den Vortritt lassen. Da hilft es ihm auch nicht, mit einem der echten Stars des Magazins zu schlafen oder Intrigen zu spinnen. Er kommt sicherlich aus einem Haus, aber nicht aus dem besten und schämt sich so sehr für seine Herkunft, dass er seinen Eltern verboten hat, ihn jemals bei der Arbeit zu besuchen. Einen Abschluss hat er, aber nicht an einer Eliteuni und sein Apartment? Reden wir nicht darüber.
Ted Heller erzählt die Geschichte eines oberflächlichen jungen Mannes in einer oberflächlichen kalten Welt.
Zacharys Leben könnte wirklich nicht schöner sein, wenn es nur wahr wäre. Er wäre gerne der kommende Star bei It. In Wirklichkeit muss er immer anderen den Vortritt lassen. Da hilft es ihm auch nicht, mit einem der echten Stars des Magazins zu schlafen oder Intrigen zu spinnen. Er kommt sicherlich aus einem Haus, aber nicht aus dem besten und schämt sich so sehr für seine Herkunft, dass er seinen Eltern verboten hat, ihn jemals bei der Arbeit zu besuchen. Einen Abschluss hat er, aber nicht an einer Eliteuni und sein Apartment? Reden wir nicht darüber.
Ted Heller erzählt die Geschichte eines oberflächlichen jungen Mannes in einer oberflächlichen kalten Welt.
May 24, 2022
Hilarious book that satires the high-pace, material work culture of the 1990's... with a dark twist. No book has ever made me laugh as much as this one.
July 14, 2008
The only reason I finished this book was because it gives me hope as a writer - if something like this can be published, there's hope for me!
In the story (an office drama in a New York City magazine), the protagonist gives an honest, scathing review of a book. His nemesis, who also hated it, gives it a glowing, academic review, calling for it to win lots of fancy prizes. The book does. The protagonist decides that's because all the other reviewers just followed suit, copying and pasting from his nemesis's review. I wondered if the same were true for this book - an awful book that seemed to get lots of raving reviews. That would be a cool hat trick, I'd give him that.
In the story (an office drama in a New York City magazine), the protagonist gives an honest, scathing review of a book. His nemesis, who also hated it, gives it a glowing, academic review, calling for it to win lots of fancy prizes. The book does. The protagonist decides that's because all the other reviewers just followed suit, copying and pasting from his nemesis's review. I wondered if the same were true for this book - an awful book that seemed to get lots of raving reviews. That would be a cool hat trick, I'd give him that.
July 16, 2012
After reading [i]Pocket Kings[/i] I wanted more Ted Heller. I found out that he is the son of Joseph Heller, who wrote [i]Catch 22[/i]. He seems to have inherited his father's gifts of satire and black comedy.
This book deals with the magazine publishing business, but the office politics he describes exist everywhere. The main character, Zachary Post, has gotten his job with a fictitious resume. He wants to advance to the position of Senior Editor and to marry a well connected but frigid British coworker with a hyphenated last name. But golden boy Mark Larkin always seems to thwart his ambitions. Larkin must be eliminated. The question is can Zachary get away with murder?
This book deals with the magazine publishing business, but the office politics he describes exist everywhere. The main character, Zachary Post, has gotten his job with a fictitious resume. He wants to advance to the position of Senior Editor and to marry a well connected but frigid British coworker with a hyphenated last name. But golden boy Mark Larkin always seems to thwart his ambitions. Larkin must be eliminated. The question is can Zachary get away with murder?
April 16, 2016
This was so "not my thing". It was interesting enough in "that's how it can be in real life" light, but idk. I'm not in the least inspired by all these descriptions of main hero's different positions between girls' legs etc. Though some thoughts concerning corpsewalking and sraightforward manipulation have been excluded from the book. I guess all that could be delivered better. Main theme of it is very Dr.House-ish -- "Everybody lies".
They seem somehow similar, but i liked The Pathology of Lies more.
They seem somehow similar, but i liked The Pathology of Lies more.
May 14, 2013
This book is funny,it creates a world of back biting and populates it with a cast of morally bankrupt characters.
Heller has a beautifully clipped style, he sets a very pace and manages to keep it up, revelation follows revelation and the world gets blacker and blacker.
It does has echoes of other writers Coupland for one, but is original enough for that not to be an issue.
This book is clever, slightly sassy (whatever that means) and well plotted which for literary fiction is a nice change. You should read this book especially if you like McSweeney'sstyle literature.
December 3, 2012
Snarky. Satirical. Biting, Brilliant. A must read for anyone who encounters jealousies-petty and not so petty-in the workplace or among colleagues and friends. Like THE OFFICE on crack! If one doubts whether or not talent is inherited, look no further than Mr. Heller. He seems to validate his late father's legacy of saucy story telling with every turn of the phrase, quip, and mind expanding paragraph. At his son's unique approach and style, he would, I believe, smile with wry bemusement.
June 12, 2015
I like the story line. Make your best friend kill your enemy.
I found the writing style too difficult to really get along with the book. There were FAR to many references to old and obscure movie stars (and things/concepts), that a younger person like myself constantly needed to google.
I wanted to give up after 70 pages. I did smile at maybe 2 points. I was shocked once.
It was not a good book. No.
I found the writing style too difficult to really get along with the book. There were FAR to many references to old and obscure movie stars (and things/concepts), that a younger person like myself constantly needed to google.
I wanted to give up after 70 pages. I did smile at maybe 2 points. I was shocked once.
It was not a good book. No.
January 10, 2008
I can't even imagine the tremendous pressure of being the famous offspring of a famous author, but Ted Heller has a wicked and black sense of humor in the workplace. While a lot didn't work for me, it really was a book that stuck with me after the fact. If you're looking for a fairly good take on the magazine industry you just might enjoy this book.
June 16, 2011
My sister lent this book to me (it's a personally signed copy and everything!). It's zippy and funny and is familiar enough that I believe all of these characters could exist (I've met people in magazines who are like many of these characters) but also unbelievable enough (enter: satire) that Heller can get away with some things.
August 2, 2015
This book really does feel like a kinder, gentler version of American Psycho. It's mostly shallow people overreacting to office slights and minor infractions, and generally treating each other terribly. That said, it is wonderfully entertaining.
June 21, 2007
One of my all-time favorite novels. Satire on the world of New York magazine publishing. Ted Heller is the son of Joseph Heller (Catch-22).
May 30, 2008
Eh? This cubicle based romantic comu-drama could be left or not. I say again, eh?
October 16, 2008
Random book I picked up in the library. Turned out to be hillarious.
January 6, 2009
I enjoyed this wayyyy more than I should have.
Read
February 21, 2010Slab Rat : A Novel by Ted Heller (2000)
July 19, 2010
I devoured this book--twice! Heller has real attitude.
April 22, 2011
A novel of corporate ladder-climbing. Some very not-nice people in the book made it difficult to enjoy.
February 21, 2013
Very funny book. Like his father, his protagonists are flawed.
April 18, 2015
Terrible book, in my opinion. I almost never want to read another book by this author. The audio book reader's voice was irritating. A bad experience in both arenas.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews