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Start, Love, Repeat: How to Stay in Love with Your Entrepreneur in a Crazy Start-up World
A prescriptive guide to how to keep your relationship strong when there's a start-up in the family.
The idea of starting your own business is exhilarating and inspiring. It's one over 30 million Americans pursue. But being the significant other of an entrepreneur is not so glamorous. Boundaries between work and home disappear. Personal savings and business funds become intertwined. You can feel like a single parent as your spouse travels, works late hours, and answers calls and e-mails 24-7.You may even sacrifice a career or move your home for the sake of the business.
But there are strategies you can use to combat all this stress and uncertainty. Whether you're new to the start-up world, or a long-term entrepreneurial partner, Start, Love, Repeat will help you understand exactly how a start-up affects your lives-and what you can do to build a happy and healthy relationship in the midst of the madness. Dorcas Cheng-Tozun has not only done extensive research, she has lived through the perils and pitfalls of being with an entrepreneur as the wife of the CEO and cofounder of successful start-up d.light. She offers clear-sighted, first-hand advice for any couple considering making the same leap. She further draws on interviews with other successful entrepreneurs and their significant others, executive coaches, marriage-family therapists, venture capitalists, and start-up authorities to provide practical insights and steps any couple can take to build a strong relationship while launching that dream business.
The idea of starting your own business is exhilarating and inspiring. It's one over 30 million Americans pursue. But being the significant other of an entrepreneur is not so glamorous. Boundaries between work and home disappear. Personal savings and business funds become intertwined. You can feel like a single parent as your spouse travels, works late hours, and answers calls and e-mails 24-7.You may even sacrifice a career or move your home for the sake of the business.
But there are strategies you can use to combat all this stress and uncertainty. Whether you're new to the start-up world, or a long-term entrepreneurial partner, Start, Love, Repeat will help you understand exactly how a start-up affects your lives-and what you can do to build a happy and healthy relationship in the midst of the madness. Dorcas Cheng-Tozun has not only done extensive research, she has lived through the perils and pitfalls of being with an entrepreneur as the wife of the CEO and cofounder of successful start-up d.light. She offers clear-sighted, first-hand advice for any couple considering making the same leap. She further draws on interviews with other successful entrepreneurs and their significant others, executive coaches, marriage-family therapists, venture capitalists, and start-up authorities to provide practical insights and steps any couple can take to build a strong relationship while launching that dream business.
- GenresBusiness
352 pages, Hardcover
Published November 7, 2017
11 people are currently reading
220 people want to read
About the author
Dorcas Cheng-Tozun
8 books39 followersDorcas Cheng-Tozun is an award-winning writer, editor, speaker, and international communications consultant. Previously, she was a columnist for Inc.com. Her work has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Christianity Today, BlogHer, The Entrepreneurial Leader, and dozens of other publications in the U.S. and Asia. She currently serves as the editorial director of the Asian American Christian Collaborative.
Dorcas has more than a decade of experience as a nonprofit and social enterprise professional. She served as the first director of communications for d.light, one of the world's leading social enterprises. A Silicon Valley native, she has lived in mainland China, Hong Kong, and Kenya. She and her entrepreneur husband, d.light cofounder Ned Tozun, have been married for fifteen years and have two young sons.
Dorcas has a BA in communication and an MA in sociology from Stanford University, as well as a professional editing certificate from the University of California, Berkeley.
Dorcas has more than a decade of experience as a nonprofit and social enterprise professional. She served as the first director of communications for d.light, one of the world's leading social enterprises. A Silicon Valley native, she has lived in mainland China, Hong Kong, and Kenya. She and her entrepreneur husband, d.light cofounder Ned Tozun, have been married for fifteen years and have two young sons.
Dorcas has a BA in communication and an MA in sociology from Stanford University, as well as a professional editing certificate from the University of California, Berkeley.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
November 12, 2017
***********ARC FROM GIVEAWAY***********
While it's marketed for couples where one or both halves are entrepreneurs, I think all committed relationships could benefit from this read. There are some aspects that are directly aimed at entrepreneurs and their spouses, but her candid writing delivers a connection everyone can relate to. It's an honest look at the conflicts that arise in relationships and realistic ways to address them.
"Even when things are hard and exhausting and uncertain, they can still be good."
Pet peeve: The author switched (sometimes several times in as many paragraphs) between using he and she to refer to spouses. I think it would have flowed better had she just used them/they throughout the book to keep it sensitive and consistent.
While it's marketed for couples where one or both halves are entrepreneurs, I think all committed relationships could benefit from this read. There are some aspects that are directly aimed at entrepreneurs and their spouses, but her candid writing delivers a connection everyone can relate to. It's an honest look at the conflicts that arise in relationships and realistic ways to address them.
"Even when things are hard and exhausting and uncertain, they can still be good."
Pet peeve: The author switched (sometimes several times in as many paragraphs) between using he and she to refer to spouses. I think it would have flowed better had she just used them/they throughout the book to keep it sensitive and consistent.
November 7, 2017
Maybe you've heard people described as "married to their work." This might sound like just an expression but for entrepreneurs, it's almost literally true. The problems can start when they actually get married--to a living, breathing human being with wants, needs, and desires.
That's when they'll want to get a copy of "Start Love Repeat." The author has been through this herself as the spouse of an entrepreneur. She knows how hard it can be. But in addition to offering empathy, she passes along her wisdom to others, so perhaps they won't have to suffer quite as much as she did. She does it in an easy-to-read, conversational style that's backed up by lots of interviews with entrepreneurial families and therapists. The book chapters are cleverly arranged to be familiar to anyone who has been through the startup experience, with sections such as "Market Research" and "Scaling Up."
I really enjoyed all the glimpses into the lives of the entrepreneurial spouses/partners Cheng-Tozun interviewed, as well as the picture of her own life married to an entrepreneur, and appreciated how honest she was about what worked and what didn't.
That's when they'll want to get a copy of "Start Love Repeat." The author has been through this herself as the spouse of an entrepreneur. She knows how hard it can be. But in addition to offering empathy, she passes along her wisdom to others, so perhaps they won't have to suffer quite as much as she did. She does it in an easy-to-read, conversational style that's backed up by lots of interviews with entrepreneurial families and therapists. The book chapters are cleverly arranged to be familiar to anyone who has been through the startup experience, with sections such as "Market Research" and "Scaling Up."
I really enjoyed all the glimpses into the lives of the entrepreneurial spouses/partners Cheng-Tozun interviewed, as well as the picture of her own life married to an entrepreneur, and appreciated how honest she was about what worked and what didn't.
November 4, 2017
“Start, Love, Repeat: How to Stay in Love with Your Entrepreneur in a Crazy Start-up World” by Dorcas Cheng-Tozun is poised to become the new bible for couples navigating life with a startup in the family.
As the wife of one of the founders of the social enterprise d.light, Dorcas intimately understands the challenges of being married to an entrepreneur. She’s also the kind of person who tends to worry about things, which makes her husband’s entrepreneurial journey all the more nerve-wracking for her. I love how Dorcas doesn’t shy away from sharing some of her worst moments in the process. But more importantly, she offers valuable advice, backed by research and interviews with top experts in marriage counseling and entrepreneurship, to help couples survive those hardships with their marriage intact.
For entrepreneurs in China and their spouses, Dorcas’ memoir has additional value thanks to her time in Shenzhen, where her husband opened offices to expand the business abroad.
“Start, Love, Repeat” has a conversational tone that will hook you from the beginning, and it delivers sound guidance that you’ll want to return to time and again as the business in your family continues to evolve. I can’t recommend this book enough for anyone who is an entrepreneur or married to one.
As the wife of one of the founders of the social enterprise d.light, Dorcas intimately understands the challenges of being married to an entrepreneur. She’s also the kind of person who tends to worry about things, which makes her husband’s entrepreneurial journey all the more nerve-wracking for her. I love how Dorcas doesn’t shy away from sharing some of her worst moments in the process. But more importantly, she offers valuable advice, backed by research and interviews with top experts in marriage counseling and entrepreneurship, to help couples survive those hardships with their marriage intact.
For entrepreneurs in China and their spouses, Dorcas’ memoir has additional value thanks to her time in Shenzhen, where her husband opened offices to expand the business abroad.
“Start, Love, Repeat” has a conversational tone that will hook you from the beginning, and it delivers sound guidance that you’ll want to return to time and again as the business in your family continues to evolve. I can’t recommend this book enough for anyone who is an entrepreneur or married to one.
November 26, 2017
Start, Love, Repeat is a very timely book, not only for those married to entrepreneurs, but really for everyone. It hit home for me because my husband has the entrepreneur personality - to a tee - but he started and ran two non-profits since 1984. I wish this book had been there for me before he started his first one, at least, if not both. I like the writing style, and particularly the fact that she injects many personal stories, along with those that she interviewed. It's also extremely well-researched and grounded, and offers good old fashioned common sense. The premise is, of course, that the couple has a good solid relationship, based on mutual love and respect, and the ability to communicate effectively and to grow with the ups and downs of starting a business. An excellent read also on how to make and maintain a good marriage - period. Bravo!
December 9, 2017
This excellent book by Dorcas Cheng-Tozun is written for anyone who lives with a partner committed to a startup business. Often entrepreneurs are more committed to their startups than to anything or anybody else. Dorcas describes how to build a good life together anyway. She is not claiming it is easy, but that it is possible. As evidence she offers her own interesting story with her entrepreneur husband.
This book will help you immensely if you are that significant other who is often alone in your relationship. It will show you how to manage when it gets really hard to stay together. If you haven’t already you can start the work of creating the life you want for yourself today. It can also help your entrepreneur. One concept the author explains is “stress spillover.” I think a ‘calm spillover’ can happen for an entrepreneur even if only his/her significant other takes the time to read the book. This is similar to how therapy for one individual can have a ripple effect in the whole family.
Dorcas writes in an intelligent clear way. She offers concrete tips, ideas, and worksheets for a busy reader, and also inspires an interested individual to use her footnotes and bibliography to read more in depth on specific topics. She did her research, homework, and most importantly some personal inner work in order to write this book.
As I read this book I thought about the many entrepreneurs, self-employed people, and artistst I have worked with in individual or couples counseling in my office in Silicon Valley over the past 27 years. Most of those people would have benefitted from reading it. I highly recommend it.
Helene Brun, Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor, Los Altos, California.
This book will help you immensely if you are that significant other who is often alone in your relationship. It will show you how to manage when it gets really hard to stay together. If you haven’t already you can start the work of creating the life you want for yourself today. It can also help your entrepreneur. One concept the author explains is “stress spillover.” I think a ‘calm spillover’ can happen for an entrepreneur even if only his/her significant other takes the time to read the book. This is similar to how therapy for one individual can have a ripple effect in the whole family.
Dorcas writes in an intelligent clear way. She offers concrete tips, ideas, and worksheets for a busy reader, and also inspires an interested individual to use her footnotes and bibliography to read more in depth on specific topics. She did her research, homework, and most importantly some personal inner work in order to write this book.
As I read this book I thought about the many entrepreneurs, self-employed people, and artistst I have worked with in individual or couples counseling in my office in Silicon Valley over the past 27 years. Most of those people would have benefitted from reading it. I highly recommend it.
Helene Brun, Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor, Los Altos, California.
November 7, 2017
Start, Love, Repeat is the first book that I’ve seen that addresses the challenges of a couple during the early years of a start up company. Dorcas Cheng-Tozun shares first hand the many challenges an entrepreneurial couple can face; especially the spouse of the entrepreneur. As a wife of a cofounder of a start up company in Silicon Valley, she candidly shares how her marriage was tested and some grueling times for her and her husband; times when she felt the company was taking all of her husband’s time and focus and how they dealt with that. She writes from a positive place of ways to overcome these challenges.
Ms. Cheng-Tozun freely shares about the hurt, loneliness, and resentment she felt as the spouse. She addresses the need for both spouses to negotiate and shares her personal experience of what it takes to sustain a new business, a relationship and the things that matter most to each person.
Dorcas includes many interviews with other entrepreneurial couples both in the Silicon Valley and other places. There is a wealth of guidance in this new book. She shares a lot of hope for resolving the challenges of marriage; whether an entrepreneurial couple of not. Ms. Cheng-Tozun share a lot of pearls of wisdom for the getting through the challenges of any marriage.
Ms. Cheng-Tozun freely shares about the hurt, loneliness, and resentment she felt as the spouse. She addresses the need for both spouses to negotiate and shares her personal experience of what it takes to sustain a new business, a relationship and the things that matter most to each person.
Dorcas includes many interviews with other entrepreneurial couples both in the Silicon Valley and other places. There is a wealth of guidance in this new book. She shares a lot of hope for resolving the challenges of marriage; whether an entrepreneurial couple of not. Ms. Cheng-Tozun share a lot of pearls of wisdom for the getting through the challenges of any marriage.
November 27, 2017
Anyone who is in a relationship with an entrepreneur knows the costs involved to grow both the business and the relationship. Whether this knowledge is gained up-front or learned from experience, the risks are very real for the significant other. Dorcas Cheng-Tozun has experienced both the personal and financial risks as she has traversed the globe with her entrepreneur husband. In this book, Dorcas honestly recounts the loneliness, the stress, as well as the joys of being married to a self-starter. Her journey hasn't always been easy, but if you, like Dorcas, have ever loved an entrepreneur, you will find her story and her advice both encouraging and helpful.
October 28, 2017
I will definitely recommend this read to all my entrepreneurial friends & their spouses. This is my new go-to gift for entrepreneur friends! And love the interesting 'start-up' stories and examples throughout the book. I'm not in start-up world, but have a busy and stressed corporate job and the book is also super helpful for me to be more pro-active in managing my relationships. Plus I think anyone in general who might consider an entrepreneurial path should read this book well in advance! Well written.
November 9, 2017
I think this isn't just for the entrepreneur or their spouse. This will prove insightful for people in relationship with one another...anyone. It talks about how you can pursue the work you love and have a strong relationship...there are small steps that you can take in your relationship that will make a big impact. So this is great for the entrepreneur, the spouse of one or for anyone that could use relationship advice.
November 2, 2017
Using stories from a variety of families, candor, and insightful research, Dorcas walks alongside entrepreneurs and their loved ones through the upside-down world of startups. This book is a practical, empathetic resource that will help families avoid burnout, resentment, and estrangement. It's a needed resource for every family dreaming of the rewards of DIY business success.
December 4, 2017
Dorcas Cheng-Tozun has created an indispensable marriage manual for all of us who are romantically involved with creative partners. Start, Love, Repeat is an astute offering and a must-read for every entrepreneurial couple. Super practical, well written, and insightful.
November 7, 2017
I thoroughly enjoyed this book--full of real-life stories, practical wisdom, and helpful insights on the unique combination of business and marriage. An excellent resource for entrepreneurial couples and those who love them.
December 6, 2017
I'm always fascinated with the start-up world, and this book kept me engaged. Highly recommended for entrepreneurs and those who love them. Full of anecdotes, studies, and Cheng-Tozun's personal journey. Good stuff.
November 21, 2017
I’m not even married to an entrepreneur and still found this book profoundly helpful and insightful. Bravo!
January 17, 2018
Must read for entrepreneurial families. Lots of wisdom here.
February 24, 2019
Amazing read... it’s a book written with entrepreneurs in mind though it’s a good reference for those married and in committed relationships as a source for communication.
I loved the stories shared and lessons learned by both Dorcas and Ned. They are very relatable to what we go through in life.
Thank you Dorcas.
I loved the stories shared and lessons learned by both Dorcas and Ned. They are very relatable to what we go through in life.
Thank you Dorcas.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews