Conversation Peace: The Power of Transformed Speech, Workbook

by Mary A. Kassian

Here's a women's study that really hits home. Mary Kassian masterfully presents the biblical principles to help women revolutionize their speech habits and improve their relationships by focusing on ways to positively avoid sharing gossip, throwing negative barbs, or snapping sarcastic replies throughout everyday life. Includes leader helps. (7 sessions)

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Religion, Lifestyle, Christianity

145 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2001

About the author

Mary Kassian is an award winning author, popular speaker, and a distinguished professor of women’s studies at Southern Baptist Seminary. She has published several books, Bible studies and videos, including: Girls Gone Wise, In My Father’s House: Finding Your Heart’s True Home, Conversation Peace, Vertically Inclined, and the Feminist Mistake.

Mary graduated from the faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine from the University of Alberta, Canada and has studied systematic theology at the doctoral level. She has taught courses at seminaries across North America She is a popular conference speaker and has ministered to women’s groups internationally. Mary has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Focus on the Family, Family Life Today, and Marriage Uncensored.

Mary was born and raised in Edmonton, Canada. She and her husband, Brent, have three adult sons and one daughter-in-law. Mary has mastered the art of cheering after spending countless hours in rinks, arenas, and gyms: her husband is chaplain for a professional football team, her two older sons play ice hockey, and her youngest, volleyball. The Kassians enjoy biking, hiking, snorkeling (when they can find some warm water!), music, board games, mountains, campfires, and their family pets: Miss Kitty and black lab, General Beau.

Reviews

[Angelyn Vaughan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy reading this book much, but I'm rating it highly because it was one of the most practically helpful books I've read in a long time. Kassian's writing style is all information and no art, except for the lengthy metaphors and personal stories she uses to illustrate her points. Some were helpful and some weren't. There were chapters that I didn't learn anything from, but others were full of conviction and hard truth - I expect this depends on your experiences and struggles. I like that this book branches out from the usual warnings against gossip to include other forms of destructive speech like lashing out in anger, exaggerating for attention, and monopolizing conversations. It also provides helpful instruction on giving effective encouragement as a regular habit. My favorite thing about reading this book was identifying patterns and triggers that tempt me to sin with my tongue. Examples: I lash out when I feel like my rights are being ignored, I mock/ridicule my husband when he does something differently than I would do it, and I withhold praise, thanks, and other forms of grace to people I envy. I would recommend this book to anyone serious about making their speech more fruitful with the caveat that it's dry.

[Tamara Lane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm only on the first week but it's quite convicting. Words have power!

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did this study on my own during the summer of 2019 and really enjoyed. Some of the topics that stood out to me were inputting more goodness, active listening, ineffective listening habits (p.46), focusing on the abundance of God, asking "what" questions instead of "why, pride as a barrier, cultivating peace, humility in offering opinions, not speaking in haste, and more....

I wish there were videos to go with this book, but there is a leader's guide in the back.
Notes:
p.27 I am more interested in understanding than being understood, in listening than being listened to, and in giving than getting. I am less interested in me and more interested in you.
p.73 A focus on scarcity results in stinginess, while a focus on abundance results in generosity, If we focus on the resources of God, we realized we have an abundance to give, On the other hand if we focus on what we should be getting from others, we become stingy and reluctant to give.
p.106 Whenever we enter a discussion with the goal of having others recognize our superior knowledge, strength, or greatness- and push to have our opinion prevail- we put up the same kind of barrier.
p.107 Humble people relinquish the right to control
p.115 Haste creates a barrier to true understanding. (Prov 29:20)
p.116 Not only do they fail to listen to other people, they fail to listen to God. Need to first ask Him for wisdom and understanding on how to handle the situation.
Eccl 8:5, Ephesians 4:29, Is 50:4

[Randy Elster · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is actually a women's Bible study but we used it as a family study. We each individually did the study five days a week, then came together on the weekend to review and watch the video that went with that week. So it's a great study for adults and teens. Teaches you what the Bible says about our speech and also throws in practical thoughts about our conversations. Very thought-provoking. Definitely recommend this study.

[Charlotte Place]

Just finished doing this 7-week Bible study with a small group of friends. It's actually the third time I've worked through the study, and I've learned something new every time. Now if I can just remember to apply the principles I've learned!

[Indira · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this women's bible study. I found that it was well-organized, easy to follow, and loaded with scripture.

[Christine Norman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mary Kassian navigates through reasons we have conflict in our relationships through speech. She addresses many heart issues that need to be worked out with the Lord. Barriers she discusses range from why we stumble over our words, being hasty talkers, not really listening to learn, but listening to talk, impatience, feeling the need to prove oneself, descalating heated situations and many more barriers. I will warn that many of the barriers she discusses for miscommunication often will hit close to home, but with each barrier she offers effective ways to work on these issues. Mary often uses real events to bring to life and better set the stage for the topic she is trying to bring out. Her tone is never condisending, but rather in the manner of speaking to a close friend and desiring her to grow in the Lord.

Mary Kassian's writting is geared toward women who desire to have a deeper relationship with God and her community. I appreciate her transparency about her own struggles as she shares what God has taught her. If you're looking for a Biblically based teaching on how to develop more effective ways of communication and building better relationships, this book is definitely worth reading. I would highly recommend "Conversation Peace" for personal and group study.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conversation Peace is one of the best Bible studies I have done in a long time. It gave me so much to think about, and I found myself very challenged when I applied the principles of the study to my life. The amount of scripture that Kassian used in her study was wonderful. I enjoyed going from New Testament to Old Testament and back again to see what the Bible said about different topics. I highly recommend doing this study. I did it on my own, but would love to do it with a group at some point.

[Lori H · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best studies I’ve done in recent years. I took my time going through this and practicing the tools it gives. Many reaction habits need to be broken and redeemed by God in me and this helped with the lessons, Scripture and ways to practice seeking peace through my words and actions. Words have power and we need to wield them wisely. I will start this study over and again soon.

[Christy Keeler · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book didn't offer any epiphanies, but the regular engagement in discussion about "conversation peace" made at least a minimal difference in my daily speech. Kassian is great with metaphors and using stories to teach Godly principles.

[Tracy Self · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an older version of the new book. This one had videos to go with it and i couldn't find a way to watch them. Other than that it was excellent. If anyone knows where to get the videos great-let me know.

[Rachael Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good study on how to really work at what you say, how you say it and how to better say it. Lots of interesting information and really everyone can find some take aways from this study.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book & workbook. it has shown me the steps to take for improved speech & improved communications. I've learned about the power of navigation: take responsibility for your words, cause & effect: examine your heart, exchange: establish new patterns, the open gate: drop your defenses, construction: build others up, instruction: remain teachable, & return: enjoy the rewards & accept responsibility. The tools are excellent that we learn & can apply in all areas of life.

[Kari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great study that I enjoyed working through with an online small group. This workbook is full of practical help for dealing with conflict, encouraging others, and just using our words for good. It was also a great study of what the Bible has to say about our tongue - which is quite a lot! Definitely worth reading and working through; I plan to go back and read it again as a review. Words are powerful and we can always work on improving our speech!

[Jon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this Bible study. Mary's twenty minute videos were well done and inspiring. All Bible references were instructional and relevant. Mary did an excellent job giving real world examples and practice applications for achieving a controlled, tamed, humble tongue.

[Kelly Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should take some time to read this book and really evaluate how well they communicate with others. It is a treasure trove of information and exercises to help you be more effective and how to improve relationships. I highly recommend it!

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is life changing! I enjoyed this study so much and learned so much about how my speech can hurt or help others. I highly recommend this book to all Christians so that you, too can learn to have Conversation Peace.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the study we completed at WOW (Women of the Word) women's Bible study spring 2008. Good study regarding the all-important subject of "taming the tongue"!

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Bible study!

[Jeanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read for a women's study group at church.

[Kathy Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one you should do more than once!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

fantastic and challenging Bible study.

[Mimi · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite Bible studies that I've done. So practical and applicable.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book on effective communication!