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I'd Like You More If You Were More like Me: Getting Real about Getting Close
I'd Like You More if You Were More like Me takes on one of life's most important questions: How can I get closer to God and other people?
We were created for deep connections. When people have deep connections, says John Ortberg, they win in life. When they don't have deep connections, they cannot win in life. I'd Like You More if You Were More like Me offers help in overcoming one of the biggest obstacles to making deep connections: the fact that we're so different. Different from God and different from each other.
The good news is that connectedness is not based on similarity, but on shared experiences. When one person invites another to share an experience, they're connected. It can be sharing a beautiful sunset or a meal, having a great conversation over cup of coffee, going for walk, or even teasing somebody. And when we share those same experiences with God, we get closer to him, too. God wants to connect with us--so much that he sent his son to live as a human being. God took on flesh and shared every human experience. So we don't have to wonder what a close relationship with God looks like anymore.
An intimate relationship with God and other people doesn't have to be a cliche, it can be a daily way of life.
We were created for deep connections. When people have deep connections, says John Ortberg, they win in life. When they don't have deep connections, they cannot win in life. I'd Like You More if You Were More like Me offers help in overcoming one of the biggest obstacles to making deep connections: the fact that we're so different. Different from God and different from each other.
The good news is that connectedness is not based on similarity, but on shared experiences. When one person invites another to share an experience, they're connected. It can be sharing a beautiful sunset or a meal, having a great conversation over cup of coffee, going for walk, or even teasing somebody. And when we share those same experiences with God, we get closer to him, too. God wants to connect with us--so much that he sent his son to live as a human being. God took on flesh and shared every human experience. So we don't have to wonder what a close relationship with God looks like anymore.
An intimate relationship with God and other people doesn't have to be a cliche, it can be a daily way of life.
320 pages, Hardcover
Published October 3, 2017
113 people are currently reading
821 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
January 27, 2019
This was my first encounter with John Ortberg and I love his way of presenting an idea. We used the DVD version in our small study group. We had many deep, good discussions generated by this material. I think I'd really enjoy reading this one or others, so I'll put Ortberg's books on my wishlist.
December 17, 2017
This is a really good book, classic Orterg. In it, he deals with the topic of intimacy in relationships. He addresses it in a wise, and thoughtful way. I did not rate it five because he did not really talk much about the importance of boundary. As humans this side of heaven, we are simply incapable of developing the type of intimacy that he is discussing with as many people as may desire it with us. He began to touch on it, I think, in the chapter about who will cry at your funeral, though I would like to have seen him take it further. Regardless, like so many of his books, I will happily recommend this one.
March 10, 2018
1.5 stars
I was under the impression that this was a book about intimacy - specifically, intimacy found in friendship and Christian community. It was really more focused on marriage and parenting, with a bit of our relationship with God thrown in to make it "Christian" and just a blip here and there on friendship or work relationships.
It was one of those books that is so unfocused I didn't walk away with any distinct memory of what it was even about. It used a lot of stories/quotes from other books, Ortberg rambled a lot (I had a hard time seeing how many of his anecdotes were tied to whatever he was writing before and after them), and the book was repetitive. In addition, I found some of Ortberg's interpretations of Scripture a bit sketchy (as in, he read more into the Bible than what is actually there).
While someone could read this and walk away with a good nugget or two (especially if this is their first foray into relationship self-help books), I think most people would be better off skipping this one and going straight to the tried-and-true books on relationships - particularly if they're looking for books that cover more than marriage and parenting.
I was under the impression that this was a book about intimacy - specifically, intimacy found in friendship and Christian community. It was really more focused on marriage and parenting, with a bit of our relationship with God thrown in to make it "Christian" and just a blip here and there on friendship or work relationships.
It was one of those books that is so unfocused I didn't walk away with any distinct memory of what it was even about. It used a lot of stories/quotes from other books, Ortberg rambled a lot (I had a hard time seeing how many of his anecdotes were tied to whatever he was writing before and after them), and the book was repetitive. In addition, I found some of Ortberg's interpretations of Scripture a bit sketchy (as in, he read more into the Bible than what is actually there).
While someone could read this and walk away with a good nugget or two (especially if this is their first foray into relationship self-help books), I think most people would be better off skipping this one and going straight to the tried-and-true books on relationships - particularly if they're looking for books that cover more than marriage and parenting.
August 16, 2021
Super knižka, ktorá rozširuje pohľad o téme intimity vo vzťahu s Bohom, partnerom a priateľmi. Autor použil množstvo jednoduchých príbehov, aby vysvetlil svoju pointu, čo sa mi osobne veľmi páčilo. Žiaľ v slovenskom preklade to párkrát nebolo "ono". Preložené slovné spojenia ako "príbehy o láske" neevokujú to isté, ako keď sa povie "lovestory" :) No aj napriek tomu si myslím, že si knižka zaslúži 5 hviezdičiek, lebo vážne brilantne opisuje a vysvetľuje dôležitosť intimity v našich životoch :)
April 4, 2025
Knižka ktorú by som ozaj dala prečítať každému. Smiala som sa, plakala, veľa sa zamýšľala a verím že sa i v niečom posunula...
Buďme odvážni byť zraniteľní pre vzťahy, na ktorých záleží. Budujme intimitu. Boli sme pre ňu stvorení.
Buďme odvážni byť zraniteľní pre vzťahy, na ktorých záleží. Budujme intimitu. Boli sme pre ňu stvorení.
October 15, 2017
“EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE LOVED. TO BE CELEBRATED AND RESPECTED. TO BE KNOWN. WHAT IF CREATING DEEPER, MORE MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS IS EASIER THAN YOU THINK?
We want people in our lives we can trust, confide in, and turn to when life gets tough—people who not only appreciate our gifts, but who are also fully aware of our flaws and failures, yet want to be with us anyway.
In I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me, bestselling author John Ortberg shows us how to overcome obstacles and create the kind of deep, meaningful relationships we all crave—with God and with others. You’ll learn:
how to recognize and respond to bids for connection
how to get past your fear of intimacy
how to sidestep common relationship pitfalls
how to make God an active part of your everyday life
Whether you’re a man or a woman; whether you’re the life of the party or a wallflower; whether you’re a thinker or a feeler or a category not yet known to social science, you were made for connection.”
The book I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me by John Ortberg is a principle-based work categorized in the genre of Christian living. It pursues the themes of intimacy, family, and practical love. Ortberg, through experience and research, walks the reader through many obstacles to intimacy, through learning what true intimacy is, and through ways to achieve true intimacy in every area of life.
Honestly, I feel like this whole book was enjoyable for me as a reader. This is the first book I’ve officially reviewed where I can find little to nothing to criticize. I laughed. I cried. I worried. I rejoiced. I learned. And I was able to apply. Ortberg named some of the big areas of difficulty for me in the area of intimacy, and God used this book to highlight some habits and ways of thinking that I’ve always known were bent but didn’t know how to make straight.
Still, for the sake of clarity and to avoid all the pitfalls of being vague, I will specifically name a few.
The first thing is hard, self-reflective questions. In several of the beginning chapters, Ortberg calls the reader to self-reflection concerning the “season of relationship” they’re in (e.g., “Do you have several people you could visit with little advance warning—and without apology?”), their perspective of those relationships (e.g., “Are you able to discuss differences of opinion without losing your sense of connectedness with one another?”), and even their use of technology (e.g., “Do you feel bummed when you forget to bring your cell phone into the bathroom?”). These questions brought me in and set me up to listen.
The second thing is the practical applications offered. With each obstacle to intimacy discussed, the chapter ended with hope, with “you are able to make this change/defeat this obstacle,” and Ortberg consistently brought the hope back to Christ’s example in His relationships with the disciples and God’s relationship with Israel, and then brought it closer to home with bringing in our relationship with Him. The truth ringing throughout the book is that true intimacy can be experienced with God, and it is His true intimacy that enables us to seek true intimacy with others. As we seek intimacy with God, how do we also practically seek intimacy with others? I think this aspect was the most important to me as a reader.
The third thing is the humor. Ortberg balanced the serious principles with bits of humor from his perspective and life experience, particularly from his marriage to his wife Nancy and some of his most embarrassing moments as a pastor, which made the seriousness much easier to digest. “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down” truly applied here.
In light of all this, I would recommend this book to everybody…But, specifically, I would recommend this book to anyone who feels lonely or disconnected from the people in their lives, from themselves, and especially from the God who created it all.
About the Author:
“John Ortberg is the senior pastor at Menlo Church. John’s teaching centers around how faith in Christ can impact our everyday lives with God. He has written books on spiritual formation including, The Life You’ve Always Wanted, Who is This Man?, The Me I Want To Be, Soul Keeping, and most recently, All The Places To Go. John teaches around the world at conferences and churches.
Born and raised in Rockford, Illinois, John graduated from Wheaton College with a degree in psychology. He holds a Master of Divinity and doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Fuller Seminary, and has done post-graduate work at the University of Aberdeen, Scotland. Prior to joining Menlo Church, John served as teaching pastor at Chicago’s Willow Creek Community Church.
John is a member of the Board of Trustees at Fuller Seminary, and is on the board for the Dallas Willard Center for Spiritual Formation. He has served on the board of Christianity Today International. Now that their children are grown, John and his wife Nancy enjoy surfing the Pacific to help care for their souls. He can be followed on Twitter (@johnortberg) and is on Facebook.”
*A complimentary copy of this book was given to me by Tyndale Press.
We want people in our lives we can trust, confide in, and turn to when life gets tough—people who not only appreciate our gifts, but who are also fully aware of our flaws and failures, yet want to be with us anyway.
In I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me, bestselling author John Ortberg shows us how to overcome obstacles and create the kind of deep, meaningful relationships we all crave—with God and with others. You’ll learn:
how to recognize and respond to bids for connection
how to get past your fear of intimacy
how to sidestep common relationship pitfalls
how to make God an active part of your everyday life
Whether you’re a man or a woman; whether you’re the life of the party or a wallflower; whether you’re a thinker or a feeler or a category not yet known to social science, you were made for connection.”
The book I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me by John Ortberg is a principle-based work categorized in the genre of Christian living. It pursues the themes of intimacy, family, and practical love. Ortberg, through experience and research, walks the reader through many obstacles to intimacy, through learning what true intimacy is, and through ways to achieve true intimacy in every area of life.
Honestly, I feel like this whole book was enjoyable for me as a reader. This is the first book I’ve officially reviewed where I can find little to nothing to criticize. I laughed. I cried. I worried. I rejoiced. I learned. And I was able to apply. Ortberg named some of the big areas of difficulty for me in the area of intimacy, and God used this book to highlight some habits and ways of thinking that I’ve always known were bent but didn’t know how to make straight.
Still, for the sake of clarity and to avoid all the pitfalls of being vague, I will specifically name a few.
The first thing is hard, self-reflective questions. In several of the beginning chapters, Ortberg calls the reader to self-reflection concerning the “season of relationship” they’re in (e.g., “Do you have several people you could visit with little advance warning—and without apology?”), their perspective of those relationships (e.g., “Are you able to discuss differences of opinion without losing your sense of connectedness with one another?”), and even their use of technology (e.g., “Do you feel bummed when you forget to bring your cell phone into the bathroom?”). These questions brought me in and set me up to listen.
The second thing is the practical applications offered. With each obstacle to intimacy discussed, the chapter ended with hope, with “you are able to make this change/defeat this obstacle,” and Ortberg consistently brought the hope back to Christ’s example in His relationships with the disciples and God’s relationship with Israel, and then brought it closer to home with bringing in our relationship with Him. The truth ringing throughout the book is that true intimacy can be experienced with God, and it is His true intimacy that enables us to seek true intimacy with others. As we seek intimacy with God, how do we also practically seek intimacy with others? I think this aspect was the most important to me as a reader.
The third thing is the humor. Ortberg balanced the serious principles with bits of humor from his perspective and life experience, particularly from his marriage to his wife Nancy and some of his most embarrassing moments as a pastor, which made the seriousness much easier to digest. “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down” truly applied here.
In light of all this, I would recommend this book to everybody…But, specifically, I would recommend this book to anyone who feels lonely or disconnected from the people in their lives, from themselves, and especially from the God who created it all.
About the Author:
“John Ortberg is the senior pastor at Menlo Church. John’s teaching centers around how faith in Christ can impact our everyday lives with God. He has written books on spiritual formation including, The Life You’ve Always Wanted, Who is This Man?, The Me I Want To Be, Soul Keeping, and most recently, All The Places To Go. John teaches around the world at conferences and churches.
Born and raised in Rockford, Illinois, John graduated from Wheaton College with a degree in psychology. He holds a Master of Divinity and doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Fuller Seminary, and has done post-graduate work at the University of Aberdeen, Scotland. Prior to joining Menlo Church, John served as teaching pastor at Chicago’s Willow Creek Community Church.
John is a member of the Board of Trustees at Fuller Seminary, and is on the board for the Dallas Willard Center for Spiritual Formation. He has served on the board of Christianity Today International. Now that their children are grown, John and his wife Nancy enjoy surfing the Pacific to help care for their souls. He can be followed on Twitter (@johnortberg) and is on Facebook.”
*A complimentary copy of this book was given to me by Tyndale Press.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 29, 2017
The author has a sense of humor and quirks; I laughed more than once. Good little book on why being different from one another does not necessarily doom your relationship.
December 1, 2017
Ortberg in my opinion is a fantastic writer. In "I'd Like You More if You were More Like Me," he writes with intentionality about how we are all hard wired for deep connections with God and with one another. I can't express how much I enjoyed this book. We are all created uniquely different, but we can all benefit from one another's differences. This book is about getting close with your co-workers, spouse, children, family and church members despite how difficult it may be. Despite how difficult these hard wire connections may be, we were created for them and with God. Based on God's truth through scripture, personal experience and psychology, Ortberg draws from several avenues to bring his point across. You will find this book fascinating and you'll leave with a deeper appreciation of how you were created. I really enjoyed this book and felt that it made me learn more about people rather than myself. I highly recommend this book. I give this book 5/5 stars. A favorable review was not required. If you want to dig deeper, be more connected with God, understand why you were created for relationships and figure out how to handle differences, this book is for you!
June 20, 2023
Dr Ortberg writes in a way that makes you feel like he’s right in front of you, guiding you and genuinely caring about your well-being. I liked the flow in and out of the intimacy with ourselves, with others, and with God.
June 6, 2022
It felt like I was having coffee with John while I was reading it. Good sense of humor. Great read.
December 10, 2017
In his new book I’d like you more if you were more like me John Ortberg challenged many of my preconceived notions of intimacy. I’ve read a few books on topics such as this, such as Scary Close by Donald Miller. In Ortberg’s book he takes a fresh perspective and presents some great questions to pause on and reflect. Switching through the book from intimacy with God to a spouse to children and friends, he confronts the barriers and opportunities to create intimacy with skill.
As it pertains to God, some of the particularly challenging questions were:
What is my appetite for reading Scripture?
How naturally do I find myself experiencing gratitude and expressing it to heaven?
Is my personal and social conscience growing clearer?
Am I more patient?
Am I noticing under-resourced people more?
As it relates to marital relationships, I was surprised by the statistics referenced – that “husbands headed for divorce disregard their wives’ bids for connection 82 percent of the time, while husbands in stable relationships disregard their wives’ bids just 19 percent of the time.” Wow! To put this into practice, Ortberg points out that it is often in these small “bids” that relationships are built or eroded. “Every Big Exit is preceded by a thousand Little Exits that have eroded the foundation of commitment. Just because we haven’t taken a Big Exit doesn’t mean we’re keeping our commitments; it may just mean we’re refusing to acknowledge the reality that we are living separate lives under one roof.” With this information, Ortberg crafts an enjoyable read and builds a compelling narrative around the beauty and difficulty of intimacy in marriage relationships.
Overall, I enjoyed this book and found it to be another strong book in the list of great reads by John Ortberg! Please note that Tyndale House Publishers provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.
As it pertains to God, some of the particularly challenging questions were:
What is my appetite for reading Scripture?
How naturally do I find myself experiencing gratitude and expressing it to heaven?
Is my personal and social conscience growing clearer?
Am I more patient?
Am I noticing under-resourced people more?
As it relates to marital relationships, I was surprised by the statistics referenced – that “husbands headed for divorce disregard their wives’ bids for connection 82 percent of the time, while husbands in stable relationships disregard their wives’ bids just 19 percent of the time.” Wow! To put this into practice, Ortberg points out that it is often in these small “bids” that relationships are built or eroded. “Every Big Exit is preceded by a thousand Little Exits that have eroded the foundation of commitment. Just because we haven’t taken a Big Exit doesn’t mean we’re keeping our commitments; it may just mean we’re refusing to acknowledge the reality that we are living separate lives under one roof.” With this information, Ortberg crafts an enjoyable read and builds a compelling narrative around the beauty and difficulty of intimacy in marriage relationships.
Overall, I enjoyed this book and found it to be another strong book in the list of great reads by John Ortberg! Please note that Tyndale House Publishers provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.
November 26, 2020
Probably it wasn’t the right time for me to read this book. I love John Ortberg and there are so many of his books that impacted me. Just not this one!
I might give it another try later on ... who knows!
I might give it another try later on ... who knows!
December 12, 2017
We are made for intimacy, Ortberg writes. He shares here his experiences and insights into having meaningful relations with others and with God. He believes “God uses our relationships with other people to teach us how to love him.” (Loc 182/4380)
He has ideas on what intimacy is and is not. He shares obstacles to intimacy, why we fear intimacy, myths about intimacy, how people differ in their ideas about intimacy, and the various way intimacy is developed.
My favorite part of the book was his section on intimacy with God. Our image of God, Ortberg says, will shape how we interact with others and the world around us, and how we see ourselves. I was intrigued about his ideas on lack of self awareness and self knowledge. I also appreciated his teaching on self deception and how sin blinds us. He included many psychological insights that also reflect Scripture truth.
Ortberg's writing style is easy reading. He tells lots of stories from his own life and from the Bible to illustrate his points. He also quotes other books at length. Readers who enjoy stories and quotes will like that aspect of the book while I liked more his sections with actual teaching points.
This is a good book for anyone wanting insight into intimacy in relationships, what sabotages it, and how it can be developed, including aspects like suffering. You'll get some good teaching on psychological issues too.
I received a complimentary egalley f this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.
He has ideas on what intimacy is and is not. He shares obstacles to intimacy, why we fear intimacy, myths about intimacy, how people differ in their ideas about intimacy, and the various way intimacy is developed.
My favorite part of the book was his section on intimacy with God. Our image of God, Ortberg says, will shape how we interact with others and the world around us, and how we see ourselves. I was intrigued about his ideas on lack of self awareness and self knowledge. I also appreciated his teaching on self deception and how sin blinds us. He included many psychological insights that also reflect Scripture truth.
Ortberg's writing style is easy reading. He tells lots of stories from his own life and from the Bible to illustrate his points. He also quotes other books at length. Readers who enjoy stories and quotes will like that aspect of the book while I liked more his sections with actual teaching points.
This is a good book for anyone wanting insight into intimacy in relationships, what sabotages it, and how it can be developed, including aspects like suffering. You'll get some good teaching on psychological issues too.
I received a complimentary egalley f this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.
January 29, 2018
The title is deceiving and the book was not what I expected. The book is intimacy with others and with God, but it does not, at least adequately, tackle how to better find intimacy with those who communicate their intimacy in different ways. In this book Ortberg explores, in a rather dry way, obstacles to intimacy, the reasons for fear of intimacy, the different way people experience intimacy and most notably intimacy with God.
I did not appreciate the I do this because I am a Christian style of writing as though someone who weren’t a Christian might have made a different choice, because I don’t feel that was true in every instance. Regardless, he backed up reasons for choices, decisions and intimacy with great biblical references.
This book is a great book for a Christian that is looking to deepen and improve their intimacy with their significant other and God, although it could be said that these principals could be easily applied outside of this narrow box. In general, I found the information helpful, but not my style. If I’m to read a book like this, I’d rather read the who, what, when, where and why and then be given information about why and how it aligns with the bible, more like "The Love Dare."
Thank you to Tyndale House Publishers for providing me with a complimentary copy of this book for the purpose of review.
I did not appreciate the I do this because I am a Christian style of writing as though someone who weren’t a Christian might have made a different choice, because I don’t feel that was true in every instance. Regardless, he backed up reasons for choices, decisions and intimacy with great biblical references.
This book is a great book for a Christian that is looking to deepen and improve their intimacy with their significant other and God, although it could be said that these principals could be easily applied outside of this narrow box. In general, I found the information helpful, but not my style. If I’m to read a book like this, I’d rather read the who, what, when, where and why and then be given information about why and how it aligns with the bible, more like "The Love Dare."
Thank you to Tyndale House Publishers for providing me with a complimentary copy of this book for the purpose of review.
April 5, 2019
This is an excellent, clearly written book looking at different aspects of connection, communication and (in the broadest sense of the word) intimacy.
Ortberg writes in an engaging manner, peppering his teaching with anecdotes, many of them against himself. Whereas I struggle to read more than a couple of pages at a time with some authors, I read a chapter of this every day for a fortnight. Pausing was in order to process and think about the contents, not because of my mind wandering.
While there isn't anything new as such, there are many points made in ways that struck me afresh. I particularly appreciated comments about love languages, and the way that in each interaction with anyone else, we can choose to respond positively or negatively, moving towards or away from that person in ways that can mount up over time.
The intended audience is Christian; there are many Biblical references, and Ortberg gives examples from Jesus' life of his ideal way of relating to those around him. But much of the content could be of relevance to anyone wanting better communication, and closer relationships.
Highly recommended.
Ortberg writes in an engaging manner, peppering his teaching with anecdotes, many of them against himself. Whereas I struggle to read more than a couple of pages at a time with some authors, I read a chapter of this every day for a fortnight. Pausing was in order to process and think about the contents, not because of my mind wandering.
While there isn't anything new as such, there are many points made in ways that struck me afresh. I particularly appreciated comments about love languages, and the way that in each interaction with anyone else, we can choose to respond positively or negatively, moving towards or away from that person in ways that can mount up over time.
The intended audience is Christian; there are many Biblical references, and Ortberg gives examples from Jesus' life of his ideal way of relating to those around him. But much of the content could be of relevance to anyone wanting better communication, and closer relationships.
Highly recommended.
October 26, 2017
This book is just an outstanding read that can really benefit one in all areas of ones life, whether in your marriage, relationship with children, family, church,coworkers,etc it is inevitable that you are going to run into people who think a little (or a lot!) different from you and how to truly get close to those people despite struggling to know where they comes from.
We are really made for deep human connection and to fellowship with those around us, but so often we are not able to make deep connections with those around us because of differences and this book really helps break down some of those things that separate us and ways to make those deep connections.
Drawing on the scriptures, real life stories and modern psychology this book is deeply fascinating and utterly enthralling and sticks with you long after the last page is read.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
We are really made for deep human connection and to fellowship with those around us, but so often we are not able to make deep connections with those around us because of differences and this book really helps break down some of those things that separate us and ways to make those deep connections.
Drawing on the scriptures, real life stories and modern psychology this book is deeply fascinating and utterly enthralling and sticks with you long after the last page is read.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
October 18, 2017
I received a complimentary copy.
Review Q&A
- What did you like about the book and why? It is honest and open which helps to express the author's beliefs.
- What did you not like about the book and why? I feel like it is centered around God in an way that may be offputting to non believers, but at the same time that is a very positive part of the book.
- What did you learn? The author really values God and wants his readers to find a connection within themselves as well as with each other.,
- To whom would you recommend this book and why? I would say older adults because children do not really get this type of connecting as much and this book while could be discussed with younger ages, might not have such an impact as it would with older ages that may have or currently be living in the situations.
Review Q&A
- What did you like about the book and why? It is honest and open which helps to express the author's beliefs.
- What did you not like about the book and why? I feel like it is centered around God in an way that may be offputting to non believers, but at the same time that is a very positive part of the book.
- What did you learn? The author really values God and wants his readers to find a connection within themselves as well as with each other.,
- To whom would you recommend this book and why? I would say older adults because children do not really get this type of connecting as much and this book while could be discussed with younger ages, might not have such an impact as it would with older ages that may have or currently be living in the situations.
January 22, 2019
Ortberg is one of my favorite writers in this genre. This book though was largely a compilation of what other people have written. Whether it was C.S. Lewis, Gary Chapman, Philip Yancey, or Dallas Willard (he really loves Willard), this felt like a derivative work. There were a few original anecdotes, and this is where the book is at its best.
In most Ortberg books, I'll get 4 to 7 pages worth of notes or highlights. For this one, it was less than a page. That said, there were some good takeaways. But the book is informational and explanational but not actionable regarding the development of intimacy. It defines intimacy, debunks what isn't intimacy, quotes a lot of studies, and uses some children's stories to try to explain it.
The writing is engaging, but the book doesn't deliver on its promises. This was a passable read but in the lower tier of Ortberg's writings.
In most Ortberg books, I'll get 4 to 7 pages worth of notes or highlights. For this one, it was less than a page. That said, there were some good takeaways. But the book is informational and explanational but not actionable regarding the development of intimacy. It defines intimacy, debunks what isn't intimacy, quotes a lot of studies, and uses some children's stories to try to explain it.
The writing is engaging, but the book doesn't deliver on its promises. This was a passable read but in the lower tier of Ortberg's writings.
July 11, 2019
In short, this book is a good book. It conveys the message of intimacy, how to make connections and deal with disappointment well.
My problems are on the author's usage of sometimes "not-so-good" illustration that may give the wrong idea of what he intended to. There's also several minor (not that much as far I remember) secular psychology instead of giving a biblical solutions.
Another one is his usage on multiple Bible translations. This could cause readers to miss what the Bible actually says on something's in the passage he's referring too and instead the author choose to "nitpicking" Bible translation that supports his ideas.
Overall it's still a good book you can read. And yet, you may need to discern some of what he says.
Personally, I would recommend more on "Relationships" by Paul David Tripp and Timothy S. Lane as a better books on this topic.
My problems are on the author's usage of sometimes "not-so-good" illustration that may give the wrong idea of what he intended to. There's also several minor (not that much as far I remember) secular psychology instead of giving a biblical solutions.
Another one is his usage on multiple Bible translations. This could cause readers to miss what the Bible actually says on something's in the passage he's referring too and instead the author choose to "nitpicking" Bible translation that supports his ideas.
Overall it's still a good book you can read. And yet, you may need to discern some of what he says.
Personally, I would recommend more on "Relationships" by Paul David Tripp and Timothy S. Lane as a better books on this topic.
October 24, 2017
This book was an amazing writing and compelling to read with also guiding you and taking you to the next level by comfort you to pursuing intimacy having relationship with God from the very begging to the end. God has been speaking to us all along, and we’ve been hearing without realizing the whisper comes for him? This is how to drawing us to getting closer to God without realizing that it’s happening? In fact of the more we pursue intimacy in our relationship, the more we see and understand God’s incredible, audacious love for us. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “I received complimentary a copy of this book from Tyndale House Publishers for this review”.
December 13, 2017
Two stars seems low, but the book was not horrible even though I ended up not finishing it. Maybe readers in the author’s age group (he has grandchildren) would appreciate the book more aince it is laced with personal anecdotes. I found some of his ramblings funny, but unorganized.
This book about intimacy did not feel very intimate at all. He borrowed a lot of material from other authors - a lot of direct quotes - so the lessons did not seem original. I did like how he related every point back to Jesus, but that’s about all I liked.
This book about intimacy did not feel very intimate at all. He borrowed a lot of material from other authors - a lot of direct quotes - so the lessons did not seem original. I did like how he related every point back to Jesus, but that’s about all I liked.
January 23, 2018
This was a great book and so challenging and in some ways has changed how I think about God and the desires He has for His relationship with me. I’m so glad Ortberg took the time to so thoroughly research how our minds work in the areas of love, connection and intimacy and then Christianize that psychology. It’s so applicable and powerful.
This book loses a star for his incessant Dad jokes. There is just too much and it’s lost when it’s written down and not said really. I think people who know him personally would enjoy that bit more.
This book loses a star for his incessant Dad jokes. There is just too much and it’s lost when it’s written down and not said really. I think people who know him personally would enjoy that bit more.
June 24, 2018
A faith-based exploration of intimacy and how you can foster it in your relationships with your partner, family, friends, and God. Ortberg shares Scripture references and ties them in with his own stories to provide practical and applicable ways to become more intimate in your life. I love what he has to say about vulnerability and how it affects your ability to be intimate. Wonderful read. *ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
July 14, 2018
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, as I have all of his books I've read. Ortberg writes (and teaches) in a very sensitive manner, yet probes deeply into the areas of our lives where we are least likely to do ourselves. This book is all about relationships; in it the author digs into the subject in a variety of ways. And while the purpose of the book is to help the reader build healthy relationships among those closest, the ultimate relationship is between God and man.
May 12, 2018
Well I quite liked the last hald of the book. I think he could have cut the first half in half and the book would be excellent. The topics he covers is important - intimacy - and he really does a good job of bringing out ways we live that affect intimacy and what we can do to grow in intimacy with our friends and spouse.
May 11, 2020
An easy read, and Ortberg feels like a companion that is alongside to give you insight into yourself and others. A good devotional type read. However,
I was preparing sermons on appreciating the diversity of gifting and cultures that we have in the church and I think I hoped for more depth and meat than this book ever offered.
I was preparing sermons on appreciating the diversity of gifting and cultures that we have in the church and I think I hoped for more depth and meat than this book ever offered.
December 15, 2017
I liked the book and found it helpful both in work and personally
I liked the many quotes and clear biblical references. Highly recommended
Really like the applications for communication and relationships awesome
I liked the many quotes and clear biblical references. Highly recommended
Really like the applications for communication and relationships awesome
July 16, 2018
A great perspective on relationships and intimacy not only with each other but with God as well. An easy read that I would recommend for anyone who struggles with relationships (and those who think they don't.)
February 19, 2020
Leisurely read alongside our missional community over several months. Some good points to ponder mixed with lighthearted pop culture references helped move discussions along but I’m looking forward to something a little deeper next go-round.
April 24, 2021
This book was written in an easy to digest way, all the while still giving deep insights that were explained, and then further linked back to how Jesus/ God loves and relates. A good book! Learnt alot and enjoyed reading it
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