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Confessions of a Frigid Man: A Philosopher’s Journey into the Hidden Layers of Men’s Sexuality
Confessions of a Frigid Man: A Philosopher's Journey into the Hidden Layers of Men's Sexuality is the translation of a Japanese 2005 bestseller Kanjinai Otoko. Soon after the publication, this book stirred controversy over the nature of male sexuality, male "frigidity," and its connection to the "Lolita complex." Today, this work is considered a classic in Japanese men's studies.
The most striking feature of this book is that it was written from the author's first-person perspective. The author is a professor who teaches philosophy and ethics at a university in Japan, and in this book he talks about his own sexual fetishism, his feeling of emptiness after ejaculation, and his huge obsession with young girls and their developing female bodies. He undertakes a philosophical investigation of how and why sexuality took such a form within a person who had grown up as a "normal," heterosexual man.
This may be the first case in which a philosopher delves deep into his own sexuality and poses an ambitious hypothesis about the formation of male "frigid" sexuality, which might actually be shared by many "normal" men in our society in a hidden way. Reading this book, female readers will come to know, for the first time, some hidden aspects of male sexuality which men have skillfully submerged in a deep layer of their psyches.
Table of Contents:
Foreword to English Readers
Preface
Chapter 1: As Long as There's a Miniskirt I Don't Need a Flesh and Blood Woman!?
Chapter 2: Men Who Avert Their Eyes from "Male Frigidity"
Chapter 3: Why am I Attracted to School Uniforms?
Chapter 4: Delving into the Psychology of Men with "Lolita Complexes"
Chapter 5: Moving Beyond Being a "Frigid Man"
Epilogue: Further Thoughts on a Frigid Man - Year 2013
From "Preface"
"In this book I am going to write about the idea that men may not feel much sexual pleasure or satisfaction, and that it is because of this lack of feeling that they become absorbed in sexual fantasies involving things like miniskirts, uniforms, "lolicon" [a Japanese term for "Lolita complex"], and rape. In order to support this assertion I will speak extensively about myself. I intend to consider this issue not in terms of a general theory of male sexuality but rather from the point of view of my own specific case.
But I hope male readers read this text as if it were written just for them. I hope female readers read it with a sense of urgency, imagining that the man they are with may be subject to some of the same psychological workings it describes. I have resolved to speak with complete frankness; I intend to explore this unknown world without any fear or reservation.
The most striking feature of this book is that it was written from the author's first-person perspective. The author is a professor who teaches philosophy and ethics at a university in Japan, and in this book he talks about his own sexual fetishism, his feeling of emptiness after ejaculation, and his huge obsession with young girls and their developing female bodies. He undertakes a philosophical investigation of how and why sexuality took such a form within a person who had grown up as a "normal," heterosexual man.
This may be the first case in which a philosopher delves deep into his own sexuality and poses an ambitious hypothesis about the formation of male "frigid" sexuality, which might actually be shared by many "normal" men in our society in a hidden way. Reading this book, female readers will come to know, for the first time, some hidden aspects of male sexuality which men have skillfully submerged in a deep layer of their psyches.
Table of Contents:
Foreword to English Readers
Preface
Chapter 1: As Long as There's a Miniskirt I Don't Need a Flesh and Blood Woman!?
Chapter 2: Men Who Avert Their Eyes from "Male Frigidity"
Chapter 3: Why am I Attracted to School Uniforms?
Chapter 4: Delving into the Psychology of Men with "Lolita Complexes"
Chapter 5: Moving Beyond Being a "Frigid Man"
Epilogue: Further Thoughts on a Frigid Man - Year 2013
From "Preface"
"In this book I am going to write about the idea that men may not feel much sexual pleasure or satisfaction, and that it is because of this lack of feeling that they become absorbed in sexual fantasies involving things like miniskirts, uniforms, "lolicon" [a Japanese term for "Lolita complex"], and rape. In order to support this assertion I will speak extensively about myself. I intend to consider this issue not in terms of a general theory of male sexuality but rather from the point of view of my own specific case.
But I hope male readers read this text as if it were written just for them. I hope female readers read it with a sense of urgency, imagining that the man they are with may be subject to some of the same psychological workings it describes. I have resolved to speak with complete frankness; I intend to explore this unknown world without any fear or reservation.
- GenresJapan
206 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
9 people are currently reading
94 people want to read
About the author
Masahiro Morioka
42 books15 followersMasahiro Morioka (森岡 正博 Morioka Masahiro) is a Japanese philosopher, who has contributed to the fields of philosophy of life, bioethics, gender studies, media theory, and civilization studies. He is a professor of philosophy and ethics at Waseda University, Japan. He coined the term "life studies" for an integrated approach to the issues of life, death, and nature in contemporary society. Since 2006 he has proposed a new philosophical discipline he calls "philosophy of life". He has published numerous academic books and articles, mainly in Japanese, and has regularly contributed commentaries and book reviews to major Japanese newspapers and magazines. His books include Painless Civilization, which criticizes the incessant attempts to escape from pain and suffering in modern civilization, Confessions of a Frigid Man: A Philosopher's Journey into the Hidden Layers of Men's Sexuality, which illuminates some of the darker sides of male sexuality such as the "Lolita complex" and male frigidity, and Lessons in Love for Herbivore Boys, one of the books that helped popularize the term "herbivore men". He is the editor-in-chief of Journal of Philosophy of Life and an associate editor of Eubios Journal of Asian and International Bioethics.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
May 22, 2021
Seeing the mixed reviews here, I knew I had to leave my own.
First, a background of Masahiro Morioka. He is a Japanese philosopher particularly concerned with "life studies", an emerging type of study method accomplished by "never detaching oneself from the subject being investigated." That is to say, this method is deeply personal, subjective and concerned with deeply reflecting on one's own desires, both good and bad, as honestly as possible. The end goal is to bring to light unconscious but problematic ways of thinking within the subject.
For those of you who are clever, you understand that this means he isn't making grand sweeping claims about the sexuality of other people, but rather getting at the truth of his own. However, the method itself is meant to be applicable to anybody, and it's worth acknowledging that perhaps some of the experiences he has may also be reflective of others.
In "Confessions of a Frigid Man" Morioka applies the methodology of life studies using himself as the subject of study. In so doing, he honestly expresses the kind of thoughts and desires he has. Sexuality is the forefront of focus, particularly aspects that people often keep quiet about. He talks about where the desire to rape springs forth from, why does he have an attraction to school uniforms, and indeed, schoolgirls themselves. It's not a light reading, if this isn't already clear, and certainly not for somebody unwilling to examine their beliefs and desires with unflinching honesty.
At the core of his sexual desires, Morioka finds that he has a deeply embedded dissatisfaction with his own body and sexuality. For example in Chapter 4, he explains two main aspects to his attraction to young teen girls (known as a lolicon-- lolita complex): the escapist desire to become a young girl and the psychological conflict with his own mother. In essence, these two combined results in a self-fulling fantasy wherein he can be a young girl, adored by many, then be able to impregnate her, such that he can be reborn free from external influence. No mother, no external voices or pressures. He describes it as such:
"Lolicon results in a self-enclosed world in which this convoluted drama of self-affirmation is repeated over and over again like a tape playing in an endless loop. It is I who impregnate, it is I who am impregnated, and it is I who am given birth to. It is a self-centered labyrinth of extreme self-reference with no way out."
In other words, it ignores the life, desires, and feelings of a real girl, in order to superimpose this self-centred fantasy onto her. It points at somebody trying to run away from reality, ignoring other real people. And the reality he wants to run from, he explores much more in-depth in other chapters of the book. It discusses about how this feeling developed, and provides a solid baseline for utilizing the "life studies" approach in one's own life.
Overall, I recommend this book to anybody interested in engaging this this type of self-reflection, or someone who is interested in the lolicon phenomena, as well as a Japanese perspective on sexuality. The brutal honesty and courage needed to share his deeply personal thoughts to the public is worth 5 stars, alone.
Plus, it is free to read online on his website here.
First, a background of Masahiro Morioka. He is a Japanese philosopher particularly concerned with "life studies", an emerging type of study method accomplished by "never detaching oneself from the subject being investigated." That is to say, this method is deeply personal, subjective and concerned with deeply reflecting on one's own desires, both good and bad, as honestly as possible. The end goal is to bring to light unconscious but problematic ways of thinking within the subject.
For those of you who are clever, you understand that this means he isn't making grand sweeping claims about the sexuality of other people, but rather getting at the truth of his own. However, the method itself is meant to be applicable to anybody, and it's worth acknowledging that perhaps some of the experiences he has may also be reflective of others.
In "Confessions of a Frigid Man" Morioka applies the methodology of life studies using himself as the subject of study. In so doing, he honestly expresses the kind of thoughts and desires he has. Sexuality is the forefront of focus, particularly aspects that people often keep quiet about. He talks about where the desire to rape springs forth from, why does he have an attraction to school uniforms, and indeed, schoolgirls themselves. It's not a light reading, if this isn't already clear, and certainly not for somebody unwilling to examine their beliefs and desires with unflinching honesty.
At the core of his sexual desires, Morioka finds that he has a deeply embedded dissatisfaction with his own body and sexuality. For example in Chapter 4, he explains two main aspects to his attraction to young teen girls (known as a lolicon-- lolita complex): the escapist desire to become a young girl and the psychological conflict with his own mother. In essence, these two combined results in a self-fulling fantasy wherein he can be a young girl, adored by many, then be able to impregnate her, such that he can be reborn free from external influence. No mother, no external voices or pressures. He describes it as such:
"Lolicon results in a self-enclosed world in which this convoluted drama of self-affirmation is repeated over and over again like a tape playing in an endless loop. It is I who impregnate, it is I who am impregnated, and it is I who am given birth to. It is a self-centered labyrinth of extreme self-reference with no way out."
In other words, it ignores the life, desires, and feelings of a real girl, in order to superimpose this self-centred fantasy onto her. It points at somebody trying to run away from reality, ignoring other real people. And the reality he wants to run from, he explores much more in-depth in other chapters of the book. It discusses about how this feeling developed, and provides a solid baseline for utilizing the "life studies" approach in one's own life.
Overall, I recommend this book to anybody interested in engaging this this type of self-reflection, or someone who is interested in the lolicon phenomena, as well as a Japanese perspective on sexuality. The brutal honesty and courage needed to share his deeply personal thoughts to the public is worth 5 stars, alone.
Plus, it is free to read online on his website here.
Read
March 14, 2021very unsettling, and although the author deals with extremes I do think a lot of his conclusions ring true for more men who are attracted to women in a diluted form. But I shuddered during some chapters
July 13, 2017
I was hoping for an insightful and creative examination of male sexuality,
Instead what i read was feminist rhetoric demonizing man and their very basic urges.
The author bases many of his thoughts on theoreticians who see male sexuality as basically oppressive and harmful, as opposed to a standard of sexual health that is identified with female sexuality.
It is true that this book aims to focus on an abnormality of male sexuality, yet it projects basic motivations and expressions of the abnormal unto what may be considered as normal.
The author also sees these issues through a particulary Japanese paradigm, aspects of do not translate to a Western audience.
The book obviously lacks on an empirical ground for its claims, as it is mostly based on the author's individual thoughts and experiences.
Instead what i read was feminist rhetoric demonizing man and their very basic urges.
The author bases many of his thoughts on theoreticians who see male sexuality as basically oppressive and harmful, as opposed to a standard of sexual health that is identified with female sexuality.
It is true that this book aims to focus on an abnormality of male sexuality, yet it projects basic motivations and expressions of the abnormal unto what may be considered as normal.
The author also sees these issues through a particulary Japanese paradigm, aspects of do not translate to a Western audience.
The book obviously lacks on an empirical ground for its claims, as it is mostly based on the author's individual thoughts and experiences.
December 4, 2025
Here’s what I thought after I finished this book:
If I had to explain it in my own words, I think we all have desires. Even though we may not want them at first, as long as we exist, there will always be some kind of desire or need. This desire drives us to fulfill it. Once we satisfy that desire, we feel good for a while, but the feeling fades, and then we have to start again, satisfying another need to feel fulfilled. However, if we fail to satisfy our desire, we feel unfulfilled.
But I see it like this: both satisfaction and dissatisfaction can ultimately lead to feeling unfulfilled. It could be because we can’t fully fulfill what we want or because fulfillment doesn’t last long.
So, in my somewhat silly view, this might be what a "frigid man" represents—constantly searching but never truly fulfilled.
We all have basic desires. For example, when we're hungry, we eat to satisfy that hunger. When we want sexual desires, we might try to do something to fulfill or satisfy. But I think there are also desires that go beyond the basics—desires that give us a sense of fulfillment, purpose, meaning, and morality.
For example, while sexual pleasure might feel good in the moment, it often lacks a deeper sense of fulfillment. Afterward, we can feel unsatisfied or the tiredness of constantly trying to fulfill your desires, which can be so hard to reach, and the emptiness that comes when all your hard work never lasts long—then the cycle repeats again. We might then crave something that feels more fulfilling, something that lasts longer, and maybe even feels more ethical.
Desires are powerful. Sometimes they’re simple, like an itch that needs scratching, but other times, they can be more complex. We might have weird curiosity or strange sexual fantasies that we want to explore, or maybe we want to see something unusual or try something out of the ordinary. But these desires can also bring up ethical concerns: Should we satisfy them? Are they harmful or wrong?
For me, it's okay to acknowledge these desires without suppressing them. We can ask ourselves: What’s happening here? Why do I have this desire? How does it make me feel? What do I want to achieve? What don’t I like about it? And how should I respond?
Maybe we feel the need to satisfy these “weird” desires, much like dealing with intrusive thoughts. But I believe fulfillment from such desires is fleeting. Even if we satisfy them, it only feels good for a short time, and afterward, we might feel guilt, shame, or even emptiness.
So, how we respond is crucial. I recognize these desires as intrusive thoughts, and I understand the exhaustion of constantly trying to fulfill them. I also know that fulfillment never lasts long.
What do we do, then?
I think we can find fulfillment not by satisfying every desire, but by doing something else—something that gives us a sense of control, where we realize not every desire needs to be fulfilled. Pursuing other activities can lead to fulfillment and help us feel we’re doing what’s morally right (or at least, that’s my take).
For instance, imagine you unintentionally see someone’s private parts while walking upstairs. You might have the urge to look out of curiosity or desire, but you also feel morally conflicted. You might be tired of constantly satisfying this desire and might choose to look away. In that moment, I feel control, moral righteousness, and fulfillment because I acted in a way that aligns with my values. It makes me happy, knowing I did what I believe was the right thing and didn’t hurt that person who I accidentally saw private parts of. They are human, not just an object for my sexual desires that I can treat however I want without their consent. So, it’s not worth the brief satisfaction.
The same idea applies to masturbation. We may want that quick satisfaction, but I find fulfillment without the exhaustion of sexual activity by engaging in other things, like reading, working out, watching helpful videos, or improving my skills. These activities give me a sense of control, a feeling of being above my desire for a bit, like a master who can control their desires rather than being a slave to them, constantly doing things just to satisfy whatever pops up in my head. This brings me fulfillment through personal achievements.
That said, I don’t think masturbation is inherently shameful, as long as it’s done in a healthy and morally responsible way. However, I also enjoy distracting myself with other activities, like participating in No Nut November (NNN), because it gives me a sense of fulfillment too.
In Short: I believe that understanding your desires, but choosing to release them in a healthy way, leads to a deeper sense of fulfillment. Even though that fulfillment doesn’t last forever, I feel great knowing I can control my desires and channel them into something healthier.
If I had to explain it in my own words, I think we all have desires. Even though we may not want them at first, as long as we exist, there will always be some kind of desire or need. This desire drives us to fulfill it. Once we satisfy that desire, we feel good for a while, but the feeling fades, and then we have to start again, satisfying another need to feel fulfilled. However, if we fail to satisfy our desire, we feel unfulfilled.
But I see it like this: both satisfaction and dissatisfaction can ultimately lead to feeling unfulfilled. It could be because we can’t fully fulfill what we want or because fulfillment doesn’t last long.
So, in my somewhat silly view, this might be what a "frigid man" represents—constantly searching but never truly fulfilled.
We all have basic desires. For example, when we're hungry, we eat to satisfy that hunger. When we want sexual desires, we might try to do something to fulfill or satisfy. But I think there are also desires that go beyond the basics—desires that give us a sense of fulfillment, purpose, meaning, and morality.
For example, while sexual pleasure might feel good in the moment, it often lacks a deeper sense of fulfillment. Afterward, we can feel unsatisfied or the tiredness of constantly trying to fulfill your desires, which can be so hard to reach, and the emptiness that comes when all your hard work never lasts long—then the cycle repeats again. We might then crave something that feels more fulfilling, something that lasts longer, and maybe even feels more ethical.
Desires are powerful. Sometimes they’re simple, like an itch that needs scratching, but other times, they can be more complex. We might have weird curiosity or strange sexual fantasies that we want to explore, or maybe we want to see something unusual or try something out of the ordinary. But these desires can also bring up ethical concerns: Should we satisfy them? Are they harmful or wrong?
For me, it's okay to acknowledge these desires without suppressing them. We can ask ourselves: What’s happening here? Why do I have this desire? How does it make me feel? What do I want to achieve? What don’t I like about it? And how should I respond?
Maybe we feel the need to satisfy these “weird” desires, much like dealing with intrusive thoughts. But I believe fulfillment from such desires is fleeting. Even if we satisfy them, it only feels good for a short time, and afterward, we might feel guilt, shame, or even emptiness.
So, how we respond is crucial. I recognize these desires as intrusive thoughts, and I understand the exhaustion of constantly trying to fulfill them. I also know that fulfillment never lasts long.
What do we do, then?
I think we can find fulfillment not by satisfying every desire, but by doing something else—something that gives us a sense of control, where we realize not every desire needs to be fulfilled. Pursuing other activities can lead to fulfillment and help us feel we’re doing what’s morally right (or at least, that’s my take).
For instance, imagine you unintentionally see someone’s private parts while walking upstairs. You might have the urge to look out of curiosity or desire, but you also feel morally conflicted. You might be tired of constantly satisfying this desire and might choose to look away. In that moment, I feel control, moral righteousness, and fulfillment because I acted in a way that aligns with my values. It makes me happy, knowing I did what I believe was the right thing and didn’t hurt that person who I accidentally saw private parts of. They are human, not just an object for my sexual desires that I can treat however I want without their consent. So, it’s not worth the brief satisfaction.
The same idea applies to masturbation. We may want that quick satisfaction, but I find fulfillment without the exhaustion of sexual activity by engaging in other things, like reading, working out, watching helpful videos, or improving my skills. These activities give me a sense of control, a feeling of being above my desire for a bit, like a master who can control their desires rather than being a slave to them, constantly doing things just to satisfy whatever pops up in my head. This brings me fulfillment through personal achievements.
That said, I don’t think masturbation is inherently shameful, as long as it’s done in a healthy and morally responsible way. However, I also enjoy distracting myself with other activities, like participating in No Nut November (NNN), because it gives me a sense of fulfillment too.
In Short: I believe that understanding your desires, but choosing to release them in a healthy way, leads to a deeper sense of fulfillment. Even though that fulfillment doesn’t last forever, I feel great knowing I can control my desires and channel them into something healthier.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 10, 2023
One of the more disturbing books I have read.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews