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218 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 14, 2017
Mama told me over and over, “Hush, honey. Never you mind all that. The meek will inherit the earth.”
Well, Charles Darwin would disagree. The lord-of-the-flies culture at my high school had only made matters worse for me. They called me “Crap Knife”…I’ll tell you about that late, as you’ll need time to prepare for such a lovely story.
Carver Canute is more ape than man, God love him. He’s part hick, part “full-blooded Cherokee.” Thunderbolt tribe, specifically. He stands only five-foot-nine but he has all the top-heavy girth of a Minotaur. His shoulders look like football pads, but down at his little hooves he comes to a point like an ice cream cone. And that wild, ruddy head is just the cherry on top.
He’s a cocky Elvis-haired hell-raiser who keeps his pompadour aloft with pork drippin’s, sweat, and a wafting circle of lies. He’s constantly telling whoppers, and he doesn’t give a crap what people think about him. In fact, he just left his truck dumped in someone’s ditch down the road. It’s what he calls his “Holler Mobile,” a vehicle that’s won MARSHALL COUNTY’S UGLIEST TRUCK CONTEST three years in a row. It’s enough to make him display his usual quirk of pride: adjusting the crotch of his pants, as if no pair of jeans Earth could possibly contain his girth
The “Old Spur Line” is the name of the abandoned railroad bed that cuts a path directly toward this mortal coil of legend. Both the railroad and the House —plus the sea of trees that swallows them both —can be found in the western swamplands of Kentucky. Our eight little counties have little to no violent crime to speak of, transfixed as we are on our lazy rivers. It is a place utterly cut off from the rest of the commonwealth. Almost an island unto itself.
It is called the “Jackson Purchase.” That’s because President Andres Jackson Old Hickory himself, huckstered it away from the Chickasaw. Local native Chief Paduke, who may or may not have really existed, was swindled out of his land too, done in by George Rogers Clark, kin to those “Lewis and Clark” guys. This area shares borders with other local castoffs: the “Bootheel” of Missouri and a sad section of Southern Illinois known as “Little Egypt.”
