The Miranda

by Geoff Nicholson

Out of work psychologist Joe Johnson has a plan: one that will take a thousand days, cover twenty-five thousand miles, and never go beyond the backyard of his new home. Joe is going to walk around the world, or at least the same distance as the Earth's circumference. As he begins circling the small path--twenty-five miles a day--Joe ruminates on everything from his recent divorce and career struggles, to Greek philosophers and the Bataan Death March. Meanwhile Joe makes friends, and a few enemies, of his surrounding neighbors who vary from the earnestly nosy to the outwardly hostile. What's the point of Joe's eccentric project? Joe himself may not be sure, though the impetus might just be Joe's aforementioned career, a job which had become increasingly untenable, and led to trouble in his marriage. It wasn't that he hadn't been good at his job, but the work - -training- operatives before they enter war zones - had not been necessarily a healthy career path, even for a psychologist. Indeed, he was only preparing his subjects for the worst. Of course, Joe doesn't tell any of his new friends about his old job, though his particular skillset comes in handy when he decided to finally deal with the out-of-control neighbors terrorizing the block. No one can tell what Joe is really thinking--clever and resourceful, both a know-it-all and a humble eccentric, Joe suspects that humor really can be the best way to heal. But Joe's past is catching up to him, and he knows even a thousand days could be a stretch. Funny, irreverent, and finally shocking, Geoff Nicholson's novel is a profound meditation on the extreme's of what human beings can tolerate.

Genres: Fiction

271 pages, Paperback

Published October 10, 2017

About the author

Geoff Nicholson was a British novelist and nonfiction writer. He was educated at the Universities of Cambridge and Essex.

The main themes and features of his books include leading characters with obsessions, characters with quirky views on life, interweaving storylines and hidden subcultures and societies. His books usually contain a lot of black humour. He has also written three works of nonfiction and some short stories. His novel Bleeding London was shortlisted for the 1997 Whitbread Prize.

Reviews

[Darcia Helle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wish I could share in the adoration other early reviewers have shown for this book. The writing is engaging and the concept intriguing, but, honestly, I was bored through much of the story.

The book opens with Joe telling us about his intimate knowledge of torture. This immediately hooked me. Yes, it's morbid and gruesome, but it's definitely an attention-grabber. I wanted to know more about Joe, about his background, and about how and why he understood torture so well.

And then, soon after this introduction to our main character, we go walking. Joe embarks on his 25,000 mile walk, never leaving his backyard, for reasons that are unclear, even to him. We're in his head as he philosophizes, reminisces, meets and shuns neighbors, all while walking circles around his yard. And that's pretty much all that goes on until the last quarter of the book.

As I walked with Joe, I found I didn't like him at all. He is unnecessarily rude. He lacks basic compassion. He's fixated on his walking to the point where he does absolutely nothing else. He's actually quite dull. Yes, there is a reason, sort of, for his reclusiveness, but all the walking and waiting needed some proactive intervention.

I also continually wondered about the weather, Joe's feet, and the path he walked. Did it ever rain? Did he wear out a pair of sneakers? Get blisters? Experience leg cramps? Walk a trench through his yard? The story is light on any sort of detail.

We do have interesting moments along the way, with a rare break from the walking, along with flashbacks to past events. These scenes gave me hope that all this walking would lead me somewhere worth going.

Then we get to the last quarter of the book, when the story finally explodes with action. We go from a snail pace to a mad dash. Joe, for all his waiting around expecting something, is totally unprepared. More people get involved and the scene becomes almost comical in its chaos.

And then things are mostly resolved, the story ends, and I have this urge to go walking circles around my yard in search of existential meaning. I'm not sure whether Joe found his, if he was indeed searching for it. Maybe he was just killing time, waiting for something to happen, and none of this really meant anything at all.

*I received an ARC from the publisher, via Amazon Vine, in exchange for my honest review.*

[Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

In all my years meeting authors, both before and after working in a bookstore, I have never once had the urge to ask-where did you get the idea? That may change if I ever meet Geoff Nicholson. His books are crazy strange, and some of the most fun I've had reading.

[Tracy Rowan · Rating 4 out of 5]

What can you say about a man who tortures people for a living?  That's what Joe Johnson used to do for the government.  He's a psychoanalyst who fell into treating torture victims and was recruited to help prepare contractors for the possibility that they will be kidnapped and tortured during the course of their jobs.

Yeah, I'd say it's all fairly weird and that I find it hard to believe, but Nicholson manages to sell Joe as a man who believed in what he was doing until he didn't anymore.  Then he quit his job, divorced his wife and set himself to walk 25,000 miles, roughly the circumference of the earth, in the yard of his new house.  He just walks around and around the house, twenty-five miles a day, every day, and figures it'll take him something like six years.

The why of this isn't something that's easy to figure, and even Joe doesn't seem particularly certain of his intentions.  He just knows he has to walk.  Along the way he meets his neighbors, in spite of preferring not to be bothered with them, and the story of his career epiphany that drove him out of his government work, his home and his marriage comes out slowly.  Someone is coming for Joe.  He knows it, and he's not sure how he's going to deal with it.  So he walks.

Geoff Nicholson has produced a protagonist who isn't particularly admirable or likeable, and isn't particularly anything.  He seems to be a good example of the banality of evil, and yet I'm hard pressed to think of him as evil.  He's just sort of dull.  And then again, he isn't dull at all.  Joe is a cypher, and I never quite figured out what made him tick.  And yet, when his stalker does confront him, I was in his corner.  And at the end, when we're given an indication that his torture therapy actually does work, at least for some, it's both a vindication and a somewhat creepy reminder that this man is not right, and never will be.

I enjoyed the book.  I never want to read it again.  But I would read more of Nicholson.  I feel very much about this story the way Joe feels about his life: Neither of us have a clue about what's really going on, but we kept going.

[Eugene · Rating 2 out of 5]

Given the fact that concentrating on anything but screaming hysterics on CNN and seen people jump in front of the moving cars to maintain 100 feet safe distance, the month of April had been a tough going in terms of reading anything. Having said all that I don't know if the book was truly terrible or the reader was not up to the task adjusting to the life during the crisis.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very odd book but east short chapters. Reminded me a little of Pulp Fiction with the absurdness

[Alice Bash · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story is about Joe Johnson, a psychoanalyst for a shadowy government agency. He prepares contractors for the possibility of being kidnapped and tortured during the course of their jobs. It sounds exciting, but it turned out to be rather boring. I had to force myself to keep reading the first half of this book. It became a little easier during the second half. I finished this book because I felt I had to, not because I wanted to. I received this book in a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.

[Ann Wrathall · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is hard for me to say that I liked this book. It wasn't at all what I thought I was getting into when I got this book. When I read the first chapter I was like what have I gotten myself into. Others have told about the torture that goes on in the book which I found disturbing and gruesome but I kept reading. I liked the way the story came together and you realize why Joe, the main character, does the things that he does. I liked the story of the book but I don't know if I would recommend it to anyone else that has troubles getting some images out of their heads.

[Katie Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I don't even know how to articulate why. A pretty quiet, steady pace; far less predictable than most books. Steady characters that don't jump and leap outside of their true selves to accommodate a prescribed story line.

Boy does this quote from the book just resonate with real life:
"Again, I did what I could. I didn't doubt, and didn't deny, that there were people who could have done a better job than me, people with more skill and experience, but I played the hand I was given, dealt with the problem, and the person, in front of me, and at least I felt reasonably sure I was doing no harm."

[Andrew Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed The Miranda. It kept me on my toes and smiling throughout. It's fun and funny. Dark and medieval (I mean, not sure where the forms of torture originated, but it is full of torture facts and experience). And like anything I've read from Nicholson, it focuses on and analyzes the act of walking in ways I never knew possible. All in all, The Miranda is a real treat if you like strange, satirical, and darkly comedic fiction.

[Viva · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars = "it was ok" by GR's rating system. This is a neutral rating from me.

The book was ok but I didn't really like the writing style. I found the writing to be heavy. I had to concentrate to read this and the plot advanced very slowly. A lot of words were written to advance the plot a little, so I found it boring. I didn't really enjoy it. It's one of those books where I felt I had to read to get to the end rather than because I wanted to.

I got this book as a free ARC.

[Seth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this story. I dug the slow-motion pacing and the fact that the humor, drama and action are all delivered in the same deliberate, stoic tone. It's dry and sparse, sure, but I found it quite easy to keep up with and difficult to put down. Then again, the style is right up my alley. Different strokes, I s'pose.

[David Olsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderfully dark, satirical, and morbidly funny. Really a great read.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

That didn't go the way I thought, but it was a good read. It's a bit of a page-turner. I laughed out loud many times. Check it out on Hoopla.

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

adored this. so unique and so unlike anything i’ve read in a very, very, very long while!

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charming novel with a unique style. Read it all in one day.