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Loving-Kindness in Plain English: The Practice of Metta
The bestselling author of Mindfulness in Plain English invites us to explore the joyful benefits of living with loving-kindness.
With his signature clarity and warmth, Bhante Gunaratana shares with us how we can cultivate loving-kindness to live a life of joyful harmony with others. Through personal anecdotes, step-by-step meditations, conversational renderings of the Buddha’s words in the suttas, and transformative insights into how we live in and relate to the world, we learn that peace here and now is possible—within ourselves and in all our relationships. Bhante G speaks directly to how we can cultivate loving-kindness to find emotional clarity, overcome anger, and become more peaceful—both on and off the meditation cushion.
Loving-Kindness in Plain English was chosen for the Spirituality & Practice Book Award as one of the 50 Best Spiritual Books of 2017 by the website Spirituality & Practice.
With his signature clarity and warmth, Bhante Gunaratana shares with us how we can cultivate loving-kindness to live a life of joyful harmony with others. Through personal anecdotes, step-by-step meditations, conversational renderings of the Buddha’s words in the suttas, and transformative insights into how we live in and relate to the world, we learn that peace here and now is possible—within ourselves and in all our relationships. Bhante G speaks directly to how we can cultivate loving-kindness to find emotional clarity, overcome anger, and become more peaceful—both on and off the meditation cushion.
Loving-Kindness in Plain English was chosen for the Spirituality & Practice Book Award as one of the 50 Best Spiritual Books of 2017 by the website Spirituality & Practice.
156 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 14, 2017
176 people are currently reading
904 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
August 30, 2019
Gave it 3 stars after finishing but after a week I gave it 5. I realised my mistake.
October 1, 2025
Loved Bhante G's Mindfulness in Plain English. It was one of my favourite books for one of my yin yoga trainings' reading lists.
I decided to check this book out! I realize my personal experience and practice of metta meditation is more limited than mindfulness meditations, so this likely impacted my experience reading this book. There are some stories and teachings that leaped out, while others I cannot remember. Will reread this after more metta practices.
I decided to check this book out! I realize my personal experience and practice of metta meditation is more limited than mindfulness meditations, so this likely impacted my experience reading this book. There are some stories and teachings that leaped out, while others I cannot remember. Will reread this after more metta practices.
December 28, 2017
Metta explained in practical terms
Wonderful, comprehensive introduction to Metta. Bhante G also, in his usual compassionate style, keeps the practice practical and grounded without it losing efficacy.
Wonderful, comprehensive introduction to Metta. Bhante G also, in his usual compassionate style, keeps the practice practical and grounded without it losing efficacy.
September 13, 2019
Oh my god. I think metta has changed my life. If you've read this book and you live in DFW, please be my friend. I need to talk to someone about this. I want to meet people whose minds are oriented in this way.
April 20, 2020
This book has been a true gamechanger to my mental health and ability to help others and myself during quarantine.
November 12, 2022
Metta is just my favorite form of meditation.
I'm convinced that the world would be significantly better if metta became as popular as mindfulness.
And so, I'm recommending it everywhere I go.
I'm convinced that the world would be significantly better if metta became as popular as mindfulness.
And so, I'm recommending it everywhere I go.
September 7, 2025
good food
February 14, 2020
In this book Bhante G explains what Metta is. Translated by the author it comes down to loving kindness. When we talk about "normal" love, we usually mean that we like or love something with conditions. As what we love would change, our love also changes or disappears. An example: "I love you if you love me," or "I love you if you behave the way I want." As a conclusion of what metta is, we arrive at a love that knows no boundaries.
We should of course feel the feeling of metta for ourselves, but also for all other people and beings. Even our enemies are worth our metta. This may sound like an impossible task to perform, but if our enemies were happy, healthy and calm, there would be no reason to be enemies. The fact is that everyone is bothered by stress, pain, suffering, neuroses, psychoses, paranoia, anxiety, tension, panic, or nervousness, which can cause their behavior to collide with ours. Or of course ours with theirs.
The saying "practice makes perfect" also applies to metta. The loving kindness that you practice becomes stronger the more you practice and use it. Furthermore, we are not dependent on the outside world for metta. We do not practice saving the world or making the world perfect. We practice it primarily for ourselves, for our own well-being (this has been scientifically researched and found to be effective). This will then have an effect on the environment in which you find yourself.
Imagine trying to fulfill your desire for a certain object. When you realize that the core of the feeling is in you and not in the object, you will see that our desire is the problem and not the object outside of ourselves. So here we have the opportunity to practice. It is therefore very important to be aware (mindful) of your own emotions and behavior so that you can clearly see whether you suffer from jealousy, hatred or illusions (misunderstanding). According to the Buddha, these are the three poisons that we have to deal with during our lifetime and that cause us so much suffering and discomfort.
The Buddha said that a hatchet comes to life in the mouth of a person at birth. The things we say can have a huge impact on other people. You can see for yourself being mindful during the day how often we say mean or hurtful things. This would be a wonderful place to start our metta practice.
Do yourself a big favor, read and live this book to the best that you can!
We should of course feel the feeling of metta for ourselves, but also for all other people and beings. Even our enemies are worth our metta. This may sound like an impossible task to perform, but if our enemies were happy, healthy and calm, there would be no reason to be enemies. The fact is that everyone is bothered by stress, pain, suffering, neuroses, psychoses, paranoia, anxiety, tension, panic, or nervousness, which can cause their behavior to collide with ours. Or of course ours with theirs.
The saying "practice makes perfect" also applies to metta. The loving kindness that you practice becomes stronger the more you practice and use it. Furthermore, we are not dependent on the outside world for metta. We do not practice saving the world or making the world perfect. We practice it primarily for ourselves, for our own well-being (this has been scientifically researched and found to be effective). This will then have an effect on the environment in which you find yourself.
Imagine trying to fulfill your desire for a certain object. When you realize that the core of the feeling is in you and not in the object, you will see that our desire is the problem and not the object outside of ourselves. So here we have the opportunity to practice. It is therefore very important to be aware (mindful) of your own emotions and behavior so that you can clearly see whether you suffer from jealousy, hatred or illusions (misunderstanding). According to the Buddha, these are the three poisons that we have to deal with during our lifetime and that cause us so much suffering and discomfort.
The Buddha said that a hatchet comes to life in the mouth of a person at birth. The things we say can have a huge impact on other people. You can see for yourself being mindful during the day how often we say mean or hurtful things. This would be a wonderful place to start our metta practice.
Do yourself a big favor, read and live this book to the best that you can!
September 6, 2018
This is such a great book which not only limits Loving-Kindness to the meditation cushion but also to everyday life. I read this book during a time when I had feelings of anger within me. The words just blew me away and whatever the anger that was within me was to a fraction of what it was after finishing this book - yes, reading itself works on the mind (so one can only imagine the benefits of applying them principles into practice).
It is written in a clear lucid style. Bhante G takes whatever the relevant content from the Pali Canon to support the practice of Loving-Kindness but is also careful not to give an air of academia to avoid intimation of readers from non-academic backgrounds.
It does not matter which school of Buddhism you follow, this is essential for all Buddhists.
It is written in a clear lucid style. Bhante G takes whatever the relevant content from the Pali Canon to support the practice of Loving-Kindness but is also careful not to give an air of academia to avoid intimation of readers from non-academic backgrounds.
It does not matter which school of Buddhism you follow, this is essential for all Buddhists.
February 11, 2019
Inspiring down-to-earth introduction to the practice of Metta, popularly known in English as "loving-kindness" but Gunaratana helpful translates as "loving-friendliness." Gunaratana instructs on the practice of directing a friendly attitude towards ourselves in meditation and how this manifests as more ease in ourselves. Through short stories and illustrates how the metta practice is always available in everyday life, not just on the cushion. Becoming friendly to ourselves is then expanded outward to people near and far, those we like and those we don't, eventually we can have this quality of heart expanded to encompass all beings.
April 17, 2018
Гарна книга, проста для прочитання і розуміння основних відтінків "метти". У додатках можна побачити різні формули для цієї практики і додатки із першоджерелами Палійського канону для тих, хто хоче дізнатися більше.
August 21, 2021
Metta, one of the great teachings of the Buddha.
Highly recommended for all Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike that are looking for ways to cultivate qualities of loving-kindness towards oneself and others.
May all beings be well and happy!
Highly recommended for all Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike that are looking for ways to cultivate qualities of loving-kindness towards oneself and others.
May all beings be well and happy!
May 22, 2017
Simple but profound and the anecdotes are really interesting (particularly the one about how the monastic community outlasted the hostility of their West Virginia neighbors).
February 28, 2018
I'd say it's ok. Knowing very little about Buddhism, mediation etc can't compare the quality of it, but there's a few points I liked and plan to use in my every day life.
February 21, 2020
I've fallen in love with Bhante G's writing after reading this beautiful and practical little book. He explains things with such clarity, simplicity, and heart.
August 31, 2021
Short but contains some good teachings to get you to think about mettā in different ways. I really appreciated the parts where he discussed his own practical use of mettā in different settings.
April 10, 2021
Esta semana tuve la oportunidad de revisar el libro “Loving-Kindness in Plain English: The Practice of Metta” de Henepola Gunaratana.
Anteriormente al leer otro libro del mismo autor, me gustó mucho como escribió su experiencia, sus pensamientos, y reflexiones sobre la meditación, y esta línea de meditación compasiva, en la cual el autor nos invita a reflexionar cómo convivir con nuestros estado posiblemente más natural de evocar por el bienestar, salud, y tranquilidad mental tanto propia como para todos los demás, así como algunas reflexiones sobre el resultado de diversos estudios donde se encontró cómo ayuda a reducir el estrés, a generar neurotransmisores que reducen la ansiedad, depresión, lo que puede ayudarnos a manejar nuestras emociones en el mundo caótico que vivimos en los tiempos contemporáneos.
Algunas frases que quisiera recordar e invitarlos a reflexionar:
“Metta can be practiced in every aspect our life, in the little and big actions we engage in throughout our day and throughout our lives, and even in the simple acts of listening.
Sometimes people come to you to unload a heavy burden. If you have time, you can listen with metta. Just listening, you help them. Your attentive and patient listening might be all you can offer - but just that is actually a great and vast gift. Don’t feel you have to have a solution to someone’s problem, or answers, or a way to fix things. People often do not expect - or want! - a solution from you. They simply need someone to listen to them patiently. This is a metta practice in action”
“Metta se puede practicar en todos los aspectos de nuestra vida, en las pequeñas y grandes acciones que realizamos a lo largo de nuestro día y a lo largo de nuestras vidas, e incluso en los simples actos de escuchar.
A veces, la gente se acerca a ti para descargar una carga pesada. Si tienes tiempo, puedes escuchar con metta. Solo escuchando, les ayudas. Su escucha atenta y paciente puede ser todo lo que pueda ofrecer, pero eso es en realidad un gran y vasto regalo. No sienta que tiene que tener una solución al problema de alguien, o respuestas, o una forma de arreglar las cosas. La gente a menudo no espera - ¡o no quiere! - una solución tuya. Simplemente necesitan que alguien los escuche con paciencia. Esta es una práctica de metta en acción "
--------
“Loving-friendliness meditation also enhances interpersonal attitudes and emotions and increases helping behavior, social connection, compassion, and empathic responses to others’ distress, and decreases bias. In order studies, loving-friendliness mediation decreased migraine headaches and lower-back pain, depression, PTSD, and even schizophrenia-spectrum disorders.
Practicing loving-friendliness regularly activates and strengthens areas of the brain responsible for empathy and emotional just ten minutes of metta meditation facilitated entry into a relaxing, restorative state and increased anti-aging markets.
Other studies show that loving-friendliness meditation reduces self-criticism and improves self-compassion.”
“La meditación de amor y amistad también mejora las actitudes y emociones interpersonales y aumenta el comportamiento de ayuda, la conexión social, la compasión y las respuestas empáticas a la angustia de los demás, y disminuye los prejuicios. En el orden de los estudios, la mediación de la simpatía amorosa disminuye los dolores de cabeza por migraña y el dolor lumbar, la depresión, el trastorno de estrés postraumático e incluso los trastornos del espectro de la esquizofrenia.
Practicar la simpatía amorosa activa y fortalece regularmente las áreas del cerebro responsables de la empatía y la emoción. Solo diez minutos de meditación metta facilitaron la entrada en un estado relajante y reparador y aumentaron los mercados antienvejecimiento.
Otros estudios muestran que la meditación del amor y la amistad reduce la autocrítica y mejora la autocompasión ".
Anteriormente al leer otro libro del mismo autor, me gustó mucho como escribió su experiencia, sus pensamientos, y reflexiones sobre la meditación, y esta línea de meditación compasiva, en la cual el autor nos invita a reflexionar cómo convivir con nuestros estado posiblemente más natural de evocar por el bienestar, salud, y tranquilidad mental tanto propia como para todos los demás, así como algunas reflexiones sobre el resultado de diversos estudios donde se encontró cómo ayuda a reducir el estrés, a generar neurotransmisores que reducen la ansiedad, depresión, lo que puede ayudarnos a manejar nuestras emociones en el mundo caótico que vivimos en los tiempos contemporáneos.
Algunas frases que quisiera recordar e invitarlos a reflexionar:
“Metta can be practiced in every aspect our life, in the little and big actions we engage in throughout our day and throughout our lives, and even in the simple acts of listening.
Sometimes people come to you to unload a heavy burden. If you have time, you can listen with metta. Just listening, you help them. Your attentive and patient listening might be all you can offer - but just that is actually a great and vast gift. Don’t feel you have to have a solution to someone’s problem, or answers, or a way to fix things. People often do not expect - or want! - a solution from you. They simply need someone to listen to them patiently. This is a metta practice in action”
“Metta se puede practicar en todos los aspectos de nuestra vida, en las pequeñas y grandes acciones que realizamos a lo largo de nuestro día y a lo largo de nuestras vidas, e incluso en los simples actos de escuchar.
A veces, la gente se acerca a ti para descargar una carga pesada. Si tienes tiempo, puedes escuchar con metta. Solo escuchando, les ayudas. Su escucha atenta y paciente puede ser todo lo que pueda ofrecer, pero eso es en realidad un gran y vasto regalo. No sienta que tiene que tener una solución al problema de alguien, o respuestas, o una forma de arreglar las cosas. La gente a menudo no espera - ¡o no quiere! - una solución tuya. Simplemente necesitan que alguien los escuche con paciencia. Esta es una práctica de metta en acción "
--------
“Loving-friendliness meditation also enhances interpersonal attitudes and emotions and increases helping behavior, social connection, compassion, and empathic responses to others’ distress, and decreases bias. In order studies, loving-friendliness mediation decreased migraine headaches and lower-back pain, depression, PTSD, and even schizophrenia-spectrum disorders.
Practicing loving-friendliness regularly activates and strengthens areas of the brain responsible for empathy and emotional just ten minutes of metta meditation facilitated entry into a relaxing, restorative state and increased anti-aging markets.
Other studies show that loving-friendliness meditation reduces self-criticism and improves self-compassion.”
“La meditación de amor y amistad también mejora las actitudes y emociones interpersonales y aumenta el comportamiento de ayuda, la conexión social, la compasión y las respuestas empáticas a la angustia de los demás, y disminuye los prejuicios. En el orden de los estudios, la mediación de la simpatía amorosa disminuye los dolores de cabeza por migraña y el dolor lumbar, la depresión, el trastorno de estrés postraumático e incluso los trastornos del espectro de la esquizofrenia.
Practicar la simpatía amorosa activa y fortalece regularmente las áreas del cerebro responsables de la empatía y la emoción. Solo diez minutos de meditación metta facilitaron la entrada en un estado relajante y reparador y aumentaron los mercados antienvejecimiento.
Otros estudios muestran que la meditación del amor y la amistad reduce la autocrítica y mejora la autocompasión ".
November 12, 2022
This book changed my life for the better. It did so in a surprisingly simple way: it translated one word, metta, in a way I've never seen before. Metta is normally translated as 'loving-kindness'. I have never liked this phrase because, to me, kindness is passive and solitary. Kindness opens doors, utters compliments, refrains from gossip, etc., but a society of people who do those things can still be very cold. Think of Japan. The stereotypical Japanese is respectful, accommodating, nonconfrontational--and profoundly lonely. This is what loving-kindness felt like to me. Metta meditations made me feel warm, fuzzy, and alone.
Until I read this book.
Apparently, the root of the word metta is mitta, which means friend. So Gunaratana translates metta as 'loving-friendliness'. This translation changed everything; my metta meditations immediately transformed!
Loving-friendliness meditation has already helped me make new friends. I've started approaching colleagues, sitting down and talking with them, sharing stories, and building genuine rapport, when previously I'd smile and say something superficially nice and kind as I passed by on my way to somewhere else. I've started thinking about how I can make more friends, and how I can be a better friend to the friends I already have. I've become more proactively social.
This book doesn't explicitly encourage this kind of prosocial reaching out. Most of its examples are about monks being incredibly patient, longsuffering, and forbearing more than anything else. And there's some weak evidence that ordinary loving-kindness makes people more prosocial anyways. Aaaaand loving-kindness trains us to widen our circles of moral concern to encompass not just our friends and people we're well-disposed towards, but people we dislike, and animals, and the human species itself, as well. This is all well and good.
But still!
Understanding metta as becoming friends-with instead of nice-to the world seems to me like a radical change of intention. No longer are we expected to stand on the sidelines and wave politely at life's chaotic procession. Mitta meditation, much like engaged Buddhism, pushes us to engage with the world, to stand up from our meditation cushions and go out into the world, hugging people, bringing people together, actually enacting goodwill and benevolence.
Don't just love the world. Frankly, that's as useless as saying, Thoughts and prayers! Even if you mean it, really, what good does it do? Instead, love the world and make friends with it. Do with the world what Buddha did with Mara, the god of all antagonisms: invite it in for tea.
Get off your cushion and go make friends.
Until I read this book.
Apparently, the root of the word metta is mitta, which means friend. So Gunaratana translates metta as 'loving-friendliness'. This translation changed everything; my metta meditations immediately transformed!
Loving-friendliness meditation has already helped me make new friends. I've started approaching colleagues, sitting down and talking with them, sharing stories, and building genuine rapport, when previously I'd smile and say something superficially nice and kind as I passed by on my way to somewhere else. I've started thinking about how I can make more friends, and how I can be a better friend to the friends I already have. I've become more proactively social.
This book doesn't explicitly encourage this kind of prosocial reaching out. Most of its examples are about monks being incredibly patient, longsuffering, and forbearing more than anything else. And there's some weak evidence that ordinary loving-kindness makes people more prosocial anyways. Aaaaand loving-kindness trains us to widen our circles of moral concern to encompass not just our friends and people we're well-disposed towards, but people we dislike, and animals, and the human species itself, as well. This is all well and good.
But still!
Understanding metta as becoming friends-with instead of nice-to the world seems to me like a radical change of intention. No longer are we expected to stand on the sidelines and wave politely at life's chaotic procession. Mitta meditation, much like engaged Buddhism, pushes us to engage with the world, to stand up from our meditation cushions and go out into the world, hugging people, bringing people together, actually enacting goodwill and benevolence.
Don't just love the world. Frankly, that's as useless as saying, Thoughts and prayers! Even if you mean it, really, what good does it do? Instead, love the world and make friends with it. Do with the world what Buddha did with Mara, the god of all antagonisms: invite it in for tea.
Get off your cushion and go make friends.
January 7, 2025
Flew through this, it was so good! I’ve practiced metta meditation casually for awhile now, but this was my first time really diving into the Buddhist concept of it and how to practice it in everyday life. Similar to bell hooks’s concept of a ‘love ethic’ but I find metta to be even more meaningful and powerful and I’m so glad to be learning more about this practice and how to live it. I really enjoyed this as an introduction, I liked that the primary texts are at the end, and I’m excited to learn more about it and make metta a core part of my spiritual practice moving forward :)
August 27, 2025
A reminder for me to keep practicing metta meditation.
It was a good reminder for me to practice metta meditation more sincerely, I already have seen its effect but this book reminded me to keep metta practice 24/7 routines.so instead of just being mindful now I will cultivate metta bhawana whenever my mind wonders.this a wonderful practice and it works like magic, I am fully aware of it.
It was a good reminder for me to practice metta meditation more sincerely, I already have seen its effect but this book reminded me to keep metta practice 24/7 routines.so instead of just being mindful now I will cultivate metta bhawana whenever my mind wonders.this a wonderful practice and it works like magic, I am fully aware of it.
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January 25, 2020I won an advanced reading copy of this book during a Goodreads giveaway. I am under no obligation to leave a review or rating and do so voluntarily.
So that others may also enjoy this book, I am paying it forward by donating it to a “take-one, leave-one” free library box so someone else may enjoy this book too.
So that others may also enjoy this book, I am paying it forward by donating it to a “take-one, leave-one” free library box so someone else may enjoy this book too.
May 12, 2021
This is a little book on the value of kindness from the Buddhist perspective. It's accessible and reads quickly. But its treatment of the topic is fairly superficial. If kindness were so easy to practice, everyone would be doing it already! In some ways it'd be more compelling to hear from someone who's really struggled to integrate genuine care and friendliness into their lives.
October 8, 2023
The book "The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion" changed my life. Most of the prayers, hymns and meditation techniques that are briefed there are elaborated here. This book was more like a refresher to me, but if this is your first in loving-kindness perhaps this would change your life too. At any rate, "loving-kindness" practise changes life.
October 26, 2024
I'd been obsessed with mindfulness meditation for so long, I never considered the existence of loving-kindness. This was a great complement to one of the earliest books on meditation I read in my teens; Mindfulness in Plain English. I really found the practice to be helpful.
September 1, 2021
I really enjoyed this book and got a lot out of it. I love how simple the writing is, it makes it so easy to connect with the material vs. other similar books.
January 4, 2022
This is a wonderful book that I can see myself turning back to again and again. It is powerful and simple - which I appreciate.
February 21, 2022
It could be a bit more specific on techniques on how to meditate on loving kindness but still a very inspiring book.
February 23, 2022
To this day, Bhante G's metta continues to permeate throughout ten-thousand world-systems with this book being one of the the many resultants. :)
January 15, 2024
great book on metta, in line with the writing style of Bhante G's other books
November 22, 2025
Excellent book.I wish that everyone should read this book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews