Being 14

by Madonna King

SHORTLISTED FOR NON-FICTION BOOK OF THE YEAR, ABIA AWARDS 2018

Is your daughter 14? Are you struggling to know what's going on inside her head? Are you worried?

This is the book that can help you understand how she's feeling, what she's thinking and what you need to do to help her navigate her tricky teens to become a fabulous woman.

BEING 14 gives a voice to every teen girl in Australia. Madonna King has interviewed 200 14-year-old girls across the country, talked to successful school principals, psychologists, CEOs, police, guidance and neuroscientists to reveal the social, psychological and physical challenges every 14-year-old girl is facing today.

-How much independence do they need?
-What is the power of a friendship group?
-How do you help build self-confidence?
-Why the obsession with selfies, social media and FOMO?
-How are parents unknowingly making life so much harder for them?

Overwhelmingly, these young girls - on the brink of womanhood - struggle to tell their parents how they feel. That's why BEING 14 gives you the answers you are looking for. It's your daughter, talking to you. And her hope, beyond anything, is that you will listen.

'valuable for any parents of teens or pre-teens' SUNDAY TIMES

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Self Help, Psychology

223 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 16, 2017

About the author

Madonna King is an award-winning journalist, commentator and author. She has spent 25 years working as a journalist in Brisbane, Sydney, the Canberra press gallery and the United States.

Ian Frazer: The man who saved a million lives is Madonna’s fourth book. Her previous titles include Catalyst, which looks at the media, politics and the law; One-Way Ticket (co-authored with Cindy Wockner), an investigation into the lives of the Bali 9; and A Generous Helping (co-authored with Alison Alexander), which drew on the community to create a best-selling recipe collection to raise money for victims of the 2011 Queensland floods.

Madonna also writes a weekly column for The Courier-Mail, sits on three not-for-profit boards, and travels Australia facilitating and moderating events.

Reviews

[Ceinwen Jones · Rating 1 out of 5]

I normally don’t bother actually writing a review for books on good reads but this book really bothered me. Masquerading as a helpful resource for parents of pre teen and teen girls, this book was many things but helpful was not one of them. Most of the anecdotes began interestingly enough but ended without resolution and without any indication of what actions may have been helpful in the circumstances, or what the parent or school had done and whether it worked. As a parent of teenage girls, I would have appreciated reading about tried and tested methods of talking, problem solving and dealing with the fallout when things don’t go to plan. Instead, the only time the book ever really becomes directive is when it talks about dropping children off at parties (apparently you’re a terrible parent if you don’t walk them in, or if you make arrangements for them to get home which don’t involve you picking them up) - and it demonises the girls who may have strayed from the “acceptable “ path, declining to offer any advice at all for parents who find themselves with a teen who puts up any resistance to a parent’s insistence they do as they’re told.
This book relies on expert opinions from private school principals and the police, neither of whom probably deal with the median experience of teenage behaviour (65% of Australian kids are publicly educated and most situations involving police are worst case scenarios). In fact, I would go so far as to say this book engages in the worst type of scaremongering, without much guidance for parents already in troubled territory with their teens, but a hell of a lot of judgement!
If you have a child who mostly does the right thing then this book will be useless to you , as it won’t tell you anything helpful you don’t already know, and it may put the fear of god into you about what MIGHT happen. If your teen is a boundary pusher, or involved in anything to do with social media, drugs or sex, this book will be depressing because it articulates all your worst fears while marginalising what in many cases is fairly normal (if not that palatable) teenage behaviour.

[Carmel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative, current, topical and didn't feel at all like I was being preached at. Thank you Madonna King for sharing the voices of Australia's 14year old girls in such a well written and organized manner.

[TheMadHatter · Rating 2 out of 5]

A friend gave me this book saying that it revolutionized the way he saw his teenage daughter. Given my daughter will be turning 14 soon I thought it would be an interesting read.

Now I am not sure if it is because my friend is male or because I work with teenagers every day, but I found this book a little mind-numbingly obvious, very stereotypical of a very specific type of 14 year old girl (most likely the type who would nominate to be interviewed) and overly descriptive with very little guidance/helpful hints.

To be honest, I got nothing from this book. But the fact that he said it was transforming means that it may work for you and so take my opinion with a grain of salt as I am quite biased against these type of "self-help" books...I have never found one that I think is really worth reading and this one just cemented the thought.

Reading Challenge
Aussie Readers 2021 Summer Challenge: Read books that have titles that have a first word that spells out the word Beach (B = Being)

[gemsbooknook Geramie Kate Barker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being 14 gives a voice to the 14-year-old girls of Australia. Madonna King interviewed 200 14-year-old girls from around Australia, as well as Teachers, Principles, Psychologists, Police and Neuroscientists, to unravel the social, psychological and physical challenges facing 14-year-old girls today. Answering the many questions surrounding the mysterious species that is the 14-year-old girl, this book will help you understand and give you some insights to help you help her navigate the tricky teen years.

I really enjoyed this book.

I was really impressed by the way Madonna King was able to put this book together. The interviews she conducted were impressive and respectful yet completely enlightening.

I can remember the struggles of being 14, I look back at that time of my life and cringe. As someone who doesn't have children and is way past the awful teen years, I was not only deeply moved by these stories but also completely shocked by some of the situations these girls are dealing with.

While reading this book I was so glad that I didn't have to grow up in the world that these girls are navigating.

Madonna King has gifted parents with this amazing book. I definitely learned a lot whilst reading Being 14, so I can only imagine how helpful this book is going to be for anyone with a 14-year-old girl.

Madonna King's writing is so beautiful, her openness and warm-ness radiate off the pages and really captures the message that the girls she spoke to wanted to express.

Being 14 was a definite eye opener that I have recommended to many people already.

If you have a 14-year-old girl in your life than this book is a must have. Go and buy it now, you can thank Madonna King later.

Written by Geramie Kate Barker
https://gemsbooknook.wordpress.com

[Lealea ❤️ · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got pretty much nothing out of this book. With the cover promising “helping fierce teens become awesome women” I was expecting some sound advice on how to do exactly that. But all the book offered me was stats, endless quotes from school principals and instilling even more fear into me about the dangers of social media which I think most parents are very well aware of. The book unfortunately didn’t offer any real solutions to actually helping our girls get through these difficult years. Also lacking was any discussion on LGBTQI kids and the anxiety that many girls experience as they work out their identity and the pressure to “label” themselves before even understanding who they are. As a mum, how can I help my daughter get through this difficult time? No answers here. Perhaps this would have been a great university thesis, but unfortunately not something that will help parents much.

[Heidi Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of hearing Madonna speak at a seminar and picked up a copy of her book on my way home.

This book is very informative and gives wonderful insight into the lives of our 14 year olds.

The book is exceptionally well researched and written and my only bug bear would be that when the Author references a source, she puts the whole name and where they are from every single time... It was small, but annoying after a while.

A must read for parents and educators. A wonderful resource.

[Minnie . · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was genuinely curious to understand teenagers better, and this book made that journey so much easier. It opened my eyes to truths I had never been aware of. I had often heard comments about today’s teenagers being unruly, rude, or disrespectful toward their teachers, and about bullying being on the rise. But no one ever spoke about the deeper reasons behind these behaviours—people simply said, “That’s just how they are these days.”

This book finally gave me those real reasons. I’m grateful to now understand what lies beneath the surface, but it also left me feeling upset and helpless, knowing that many parents either don’t seek out such resources or end up blaming their children instead. We truly need to have honest conversations, and we need to stand up for our teens. They deserve understanding, not judgement, they need support.

It does talk about the reasons and issues, but the solutions were missing and this is what prompted me to write the book i wrote, to bring in solutions from my journey and recovery from Anxiety, depression, addiction of chocolates and scrolling through phone. Every book has a different reason and learning to share. This book talks about facts and experiences, It's the first step towards acceptance of a problem to be able to handle/ resolve it if we wish..
This book inspired me to write my book and i suggest my readers to read this book as this does bring in the acceptance of the issues.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic, just fantastic. Clearly I did not rush this one. Having three daughters, two who are teenagers, I wanted to read, observe and read more.
I highly recommend this book. It is great, as the research is Australian based on Australian girls.
I have recommended this book to many of my friends who like myself also have teenage daughters and had similar stories to share.
This book is really helpful and also has provided me with some further interesting reading on similar topics.
Thank you Madonna King.

[Sarah Swarbrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

A look at what teenage girls say are the most important things in their life, and what they wish their mums understood. Even if every issue does not affect your teenager, it will be impacting her friends and other girls she knows. It was scary and interesting, and I plan on referring back to it often over the next couple of years.

[Linley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this and particularly liked reading the research found from interviewing 14 year old girls. Some interesting thinking around money and it has made me reflect on some of the conversations that go on when we live on the fly. It has some take away points on open communication, thinking about what's happening in the 14 year old world and discussions. Recommend.

[Jane Payne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointed I bought this hoping to understand my 14 year old granddaughter better. Most of the book I knew anyway and I felt it dwelled too much on worst case scenarios. I had 2 daughters of my own but struggle to understand this world of technology and self doubt which is crippling teenagers.

[Catherine Sweeney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helps make sense of the roller coaster of parenting in this century 😕

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really great read for parents. Lots of points to discuss with your teen and plenty of advice for parents.

[KAdelaide · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent advice and very thought provoking

[Dimity Powell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full review and blog post on effectiveness at DIM'S re VIEWS: http://dimswritestuff.blogspot.com/

[Nathalie Bilinsky · Rating 5 out of 5]

With 2 daughters aged 14 and just shy of 13, this book could not have come along at a better. Some excellent insights and practical advice for the parenting adventure.

[Ang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read, well laid out with lots of good advice and ideas to try and make the ride through adolescence a little smoother!