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Lucky Jim
This is Jim Hart's story: how he survived a violent childhood home, how he overcame obsessive dependencies, and how he finally found the strength to be his true self. A master at building relationships, Jim is charming, funny, and a great listener. His success in life and business was based on his ability to connect with others, from people recovering in 12-step groups in Upstate New York to those living in the rarefied air of Martha's Vineyard. But after more than twenty years of being sober, one slip-up triggered an active addiction that threatened his relationships with his then-wife, singer-songwriter Carly Simon, his recovery friends, his severely disabled son, and--as he began to confront his own sexuality--even with himself. With profound clarity and thoughtful language, Jim weaves together the beautiful and all-too-often heartbreaking events of his life into an inspiring tale of bravery, healing, and above all, love.
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Published April 11, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
May 6, 2018
I very much enjoyed this book about broken people. Unfortunately, it was a reminder that some things in life can't be fixed and that love often has little to do with the reality of just how happy one can be, or just how good a relationship can be. Ultimately, it is the individual self and its flaws that controls (and limits) contentment and happiness, despite other circumstances and people.
That said, I often do get a bit upset reading about people who have the opportunity to indulge their individual needs, or even their own idiosyncracies and unhappiness. Many people have to put that aside in life, especially when they are responsible, or more importantly, responsible for someone else. I think there were a lot of selfish people in this book, and they were selfish in the varying ways in which many are selfish. Not that they were bad or ungenerous or not hurting themselves, but there were a lot of instances where the central characters were just able to abdicate any responsibility at all in order to deal with their mental issues, and, of course, that meant that someone else had to pick up the pieces. Sometimes they had to pick up the pieces for each other, but more often, it was the same people who were left holding the bag (like Alanna) and who never had the opportunity to bow out for a while because they couldn't handle things. I don't think the author would disagree with this assessment. There are just those who will always be the ones to have to "suck it up" and make up for the people who can't. And those people aren't usually the ones who have the time to write a book.
That said, I often do get a bit upset reading about people who have the opportunity to indulge their individual needs, or even their own idiosyncracies and unhappiness. Many people have to put that aside in life, especially when they are responsible, or more importantly, responsible for someone else. I think there were a lot of selfish people in this book, and they were selfish in the varying ways in which many are selfish. Not that they were bad or ungenerous or not hurting themselves, but there were a lot of instances where the central characters were just able to abdicate any responsibility at all in order to deal with their mental issues, and, of course, that meant that someone else had to pick up the pieces. Sometimes they had to pick up the pieces for each other, but more often, it was the same people who were left holding the bag (like Alanna) and who never had the opportunity to bow out for a while because they couldn't handle things. I don't think the author would disagree with this assessment. There are just those who will always be the ones to have to "suck it up" and make up for the people who can't. And those people aren't usually the ones who have the time to write a book.
October 6, 2017
2-1/2 stars. He's led a very interesting life but is not a great storyteller and I got a bit tired of hearing him tell us how often he heard that he was handsome.
June 18, 2017
I read this book because I'm a huge Carly Simon fan, and Mr Hart used to be married to her. The book was a pleasant surprise, because he is a very good writer with a lot to say. In many ways it's a typical Hollywood memoir - boy is an alcoholic from an abusive home, boy stops drinking, boy meets girl, boy decides crack cocaine is better than alcohol, boy gets clean and discovers he's gay. There were fun parts of the book where he talks about celebrities he met, but very serious and touching parts where he talks about his son Eamon, a young man with serious disabilities. A surprisingly good read.
November 30, 2020
Difficult childhood - check, good looks - check, things fell in his lap - check, he shat on them and self indulged - check. Lucky Jim for sure, grateful Jim likely not. Not trying to take away from the difficulty of anyone's struggle, however, this story just didn't do it for me. Another example of what lack of connection to self manifests in lack of ability to truly connect with the world around you. A better read to illustrate the correlation between addiction and lack of connection is Johann Hari's Lost Connections.
February 11, 2020
OK, call me shallow but after reading Carly Simon's latest book, Touching the Sun, I wanted to know more about her marriage to Jim Hart and to also find out his side of the story.
May 25, 2017
I took great comfort in this book and your stories. I found the last 25% the most interesting and curious as this is where the deeper dive took place. Reading the pages as it all unraveled was truly enlightening. Anyone that finds relevancy in their own lives to you, your pain, any of your stories or the people closest to you, will find this book helpful and meaningful. You explained things and feelings that many other men (and women) in similar situations struggle with, but won't or don't verbalize or share. I found the clarity extremely helpful, almost as if pieces of a puzzle were handed to me. I realize every person and situation is completely different, but hearing and learning your perspective was beneficial. Your authenticity is admirable and I believe this book can and will help others work through their own personal demons.
On the lighter side, it's a also a great multi faceted celebrity story chock full of interesting anecdotes and details for the reader. Good luck and congratulations on your continued success and happiness! Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
On the lighter side, it's a also a great multi faceted celebrity story chock full of interesting anecdotes and details for the reader. Good luck and congratulations on your continued success and happiness! Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
April 20, 2017
This was an intriguing book to read immediately following a reading of Carly Simon's book "Boys in Trees." As a person who is probably too introspective, I struggle to understand how people as intelligent and both Carly Simon and Jim Hart seem to be can be so clueless about themselves. For example, all of Hart's sexual experience prior to his marriages had been with men, but he did not realize until his 50s that he was bisexual? How does that happen? I was reading this entire book wondering how he missed all the clues. Nevertheless, there were just enough interesting parts to keep me reading, and I will admit, his writing is not bad.
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June 11, 2017Overall it was a good read. A little slow in places, hard to believe in others. Reading between the lines
I felt sorry for his ex wife as he was of no help to her. Hard to believe he and Carly spent so much time apart as a married couple for no good reasons that I could decipher. How did she not know of his drug abuse? Also it seems like he was treated kind of like the poor relative. She married him knowing he didn't have a pot to pee in. Why then was he supposed to try and make a pittance of a salary? If roles were reversed and he was the female nobody would say a word about it. Crazy lifestyles.
I felt sorry for his ex wife as he was of no help to her. Hard to believe he and Carly spent so much time apart as a married couple for no good reasons that I could decipher. How did she not know of his drug abuse? Also it seems like he was treated kind of like the poor relative. She married him knowing he didn't have a pot to pee in. Why then was he supposed to try and make a pittance of a salary? If roles were reversed and he was the female nobody would say a word about it. Crazy lifestyles.
November 18, 2017
Jim Hart is an insurance salesman who looks like James Taylor. When he meets Carly Simon, he doesn't know who she is. But they soon start dating and his ordinary life, as a divorced father of a mentally challenged son, becomes a fairy tale life filled with writers, actors, politicians, and money. It's a world he loves from the outside, but he never quite fits in. As a sober alcoholic, his demons catch up with him when his marriage begins to fail. Interesting read paired with Boys in the Trees by Carly Simon.
May 3, 2017
I was curious about this book as I worked with his wonderful ex-wife Alannah and knew her love for her severely disabled son, Eammon, whose father was James Hart. I found this to be a tribute to the strength of Alannah and the love of a mother who never gave up on her son and had to deal with the lack of support from Eammon's dad. Alannah, herself, is an accomplished musician and professional woman and Mom of three other children who she is just as devoted to.
August 1, 2018
I found this book to be a great read with compelling stories and a great chronicle of his life and perspectives. An amazing ride, entertaining, honest, and definitely witty! I recommend and cannot understand the harsh criticism to his respectful and loving attitudes to those special relationships he had with so many people.
June 13, 2017
As one reviewer said, this was like reading an extended People Magazine article, and I mean that in the most enjoyable way. Great star-f*cker moments in here, as well as some meaningful prose; this guy can write!
May 23, 2018
Self serving. Sad and not worth reading.
January 11, 2022
This is a hard one to rate, because I adore Carly Simon, and she's the reason I read this book. It kept my interest, for sure. But in the first half he drops more names than most celebs do in their entire memoirs, and in the second half he does more drugs than John Phillips wrote about in his. I just wanted to slap him and tell him to knock it off.
Would love to hear Carly's version of their story.
Would love to hear Carly's version of their story.
July 8, 2017
The book was beautifully written and I loved reading it. The pain of the author's relationship with his father, the drama and sexual awakening at the seminary, struggles with drugs and alcohol, the loving yet tragic relationship with his severely handicapped son…all kept my rapt attention. Throw in dinner parties and kitchen table talks with the biggest entertainment and political celebrities on the planet, and you have the makings of great book. Five stars.
April 21, 2017
Near the end of James Hart’s memoir “Lucky Jim,” Hart expresses frustration with publishers who won’t accept his first novel submission without another rewrite. Well, he can’t complain about not having any source material to draw on—a rough childhood with an abusive alcoholic father, raising a special needs child from a first marriage, a chance train meeting with a women whose music and face he didn’t recognize (Carly Simon), a “fish out of water” marriage with Simon where he was welcomed into the close-knit artistic community of Martha’s Vineyard, a late marriage relapse in his sobriety and realization that he was gay. Any one of those stories could have (and have been) the source of whole books by other writers. Hart wisely chose to direct his writing talent to non-fiction. That Hart manages to be both empathetic and brutally honest is a testament to his writing skill as well as his character. Readers may be drawn to this book for the warm anecdotes about the famous people with whom Hart met (Jackie Onassis, Mike Nichols, Bill Clinton), but they’ll stay for his very human struggle of being overwhelmed by the hold that addiction has on the brain. Though he’s now her ex, Carly Simon has endorsed this book; indeed, it does a great job of complementing her recent memoir, “Boys in the Trees.” Recommended.
September 30, 2017
This was an interesting story by a good writer. His prose moves easily, cleanly and he can evoke images well. He glossed over anything about his life in recovery, especially during the times when it would have been the most interesting to know how, if at all, he was practicing a program of recovery from addiction. Maybe the omission was evidence of his omission.
One of the most prolific Goodreads reviewers panned the book as a whiny expose of self pity. It seemed more honest and self searching than the self pity label. Each of us have a journey and his included a great deal of fame. I succumbed to the fame and read the book. So much for my ability to judge others! His life with Carly Simon was so much more than Carly. He was exposed to so much talent and "luck" the book does reveal how the famous are not so special. The book is worth the read if for no other point that this.
Selfishness is a terrible evil within each human, supplying sharp incisors and canines to the "self will" problem of the human condition. The book reveals plenty of selfishness, how a faith can help build tools to deal with it and how a loss of faith can feed it.
One of the most prolific Goodreads reviewers panned the book as a whiny expose of self pity. It seemed more honest and self searching than the self pity label. Each of us have a journey and his included a great deal of fame. I succumbed to the fame and read the book. So much for my ability to judge others! His life with Carly Simon was so much more than Carly. He was exposed to so much talent and "luck" the book does reveal how the famous are not so special. The book is worth the read if for no other point that this.
Selfishness is a terrible evil within each human, supplying sharp incisors and canines to the "self will" problem of the human condition. The book reveals plenty of selfishness, how a faith can help build tools to deal with it and how a loss of faith can feed it.
July 4, 2017
If I could have dinner with only one person in the world, it would be Carly Simon. Her lyrics have been the story of my life and I've connected to her songs all my adult life, as many of us have. Therefore, I didn't know if I was going to like this book, especially if there was anything negative said about her. Although she has been part of the events in this book, the book is not centrally about her. I found Jim Hart's writing brought out many different emotions; at times I though he was impudent, egotistical but also very in tune with what people needed and a good storyteller. His life has been fascinating and at the end, it made me feel great compassion, not only to the people in this book but to the world in general. We all struggle to walk the journey we've been given but not many of us could be so direct and forthcoming. I'm looking forward to future writing by Jim Hart.
February 6, 2020
I recently finished listening to "Boys in the Trees", a memoir by Carly Simon and read by the author. It was focused on her childhood up to and through her marriage/divorce to James Taylor (1981). As it was written in 2016, and I wondered about her life over the past 40 years.
Enter James Hart's memoir, "Lucky Jim". Truth is stranger than fiction! What an amazing life story. A large part of the book addresses his nearly 20-year tumultuous marriage to Carly. The tumult was caused in part by his own dysfunction, personal demons and the denial of his inner self to himself as well as her own emotional fragility, celebrity, extreme wealth vis a vis his poverty.
Excellent writing, poignant, humorous, tragic and loving.
Enter James Hart's memoir, "Lucky Jim". Truth is stranger than fiction! What an amazing life story. A large part of the book addresses his nearly 20-year tumultuous marriage to Carly. The tumult was caused in part by his own dysfunction, personal demons and the denial of his inner self to himself as well as her own emotional fragility, celebrity, extreme wealth vis a vis his poverty.
Excellent writing, poignant, humorous, tragic and loving.
November 21, 2019
A hard book to read and even harder to finish reading
This is a story that is hard to read but it's sad to finish reading it. I missed Him Hart's voice as soon as I unwittingly read the last page. I just wasn't prepared for it to end .
The warmth and humanity of his writing is so inviting and welcoming.
There was such heartache and yet it felt like the book exuded light and compassion.
This book helped me to understand how he became such a wonderful counselor for people struggling with addiction.
This is a story that is hard to read but it's sad to finish reading it. I missed Him Hart's voice as soon as I unwittingly read the last page. I just wasn't prepared for it to end .
The warmth and humanity of his writing is so inviting and welcoming.
There was such heartache and yet it felt like the book exuded light and compassion.
This book helped me to understand how he became such a wonderful counselor for people struggling with addiction.
June 14, 2017
Extremely well-written a la James Joyce, yet this is not a book to be loved. I appreciates the insight into marriage to, and life with, my favorite singer. The mere fact of Carly's presence in the cover photo with Hart tells you that she supports him; they are still friends even though they divorced after 20 years when Hart came out as gay. Though he spares us none of Carly's foibles, he is hardest of all on himself. One gets that they remain in each other's lives as a benediction.
June 11, 2017
Excellent and well-written memoir about marrying into fame and wealth as Carly Simon's husband. I most enjoyed reading about his coming to terms with his homosexuality and journey from recovery into addiction and back.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 2, 2019
A breathtakingly brave book. It is so intimate and unflinching look at one’s own life. What courage Mr Hart possesses to put it out there in a book. I feel lucky for having ready it and somehow braver to face my weaknesses and short comings and be more accepting of others’.
March 28, 2017
Please see my review on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-re...
May 19, 2017
The best parts were the ones related to the Martha's Vineyard social scene.
June 5, 2017
Haunting and literate. Jim Hart is a sculptor not a watercolorist. He has crafted a work from sweat and blood and fire.
July 22, 2018
Surprisingly well-written. It lost a bit of its shine in the later chapters, but then, so did Hart's life.
August 21, 2018
A very interesting story of this man's complicated life. I loved the book and felt sadness at its ending, but hopeful that the author has found peace and joy in his life.
August 22, 2025
Quite simply one of the best memoirs ever written. It's packed with so many different aspects of life, and insights about all of them, that it should satisfy just about any reader. If there's anything to fault it for, it's that it's too short and makes you long for more (the author stops in 2009 but the book was published in 2017).
But I suspect that the words have been so carefully selected and paragraphs crafted with the help of pre-publication "readers" like Carl Bernstein, Edna O'Brien and Christopher Kennedy Lawford that it almost becomes a textbook for how to put together a taut compelling autobiography.
It's hard to know where to start--what other life has this kind of story? It's movie-like in how hard to believe all that James Hart experienced. It really should be optioned for a Netflix mini-series or something Ryan Murphy adds to his collection of oddities based on truth. It contains a childhood where he started in seminary at age 14, lost his closest school friend in a horrific drowning, gave up any belief in God, fathers a son with a major mental and physical handicap that's beyond a parent's imagination, and gets hooked on alcohol before finally turning to AA. All of that would be enough to write a book about, but it makes up only a few chapters here.
Somehow this average Jim from Long Island, New York, gets introduced to Carly Simon and she falls for him. This leads him to wealth, famous politicians, authors, singers, celebrities--and all seem to become his best friend! This is the first book where I feel Jackie Kennedy (yes, his friend) is shown in her most human form. But your jaw doesn't stop dropping there as he namedrops all sorts of people he becomes close to, from Mike Nichols (who I still can't figure out why everyone overpraises) to Bill Clinton (ditto). All of Hart's celebrity references contain insights that are beyond what others have revealed.
Heck, this guy even helped Carly Simon write her Oscar-winning song! It was the first to ever win a Grammy, Golden Globe and Oscar, and he gave her the words that were the foundation for a song. Pretty good for someone with no writing or musical background. (Though Hart doesn't address why she didn't give him co-writer's credit nor a portion of the song's profits!)
Then just when you think he has it all, he feels like he can't live up to his wife's success and starts acting on his desires for other men while secretly getting addicted to crack and other drugs. So the final fourth of the book is a wild ride, almost unbelievable that such a transformation could take place as he gives up on his cheating wife while still proclaiming his love for her.
He goes through rehab (including at Betty Ford Clinic, which he slams for its dictatorial methods) and at one point is institutionalized in a mental health facility for being suicidal. While there he receives calls from pals like Alec Baldwin and Michael J. Fox. You know Hart's life must have been bad if Michael J. Fox feels sorry for him! But the oddest part is that Fox says to him, "You helped save my f-ing life," which doesn't get explained beyond Jim adding "we spent time working on our recovery together a few years before." This is where it makes the reader even more fascinated by the author's life but also long for more detail.
There is so much profound in the book:
--that having Carly Simon fall for him "changed my sense of self...I could barely stand being me. I felt a surge of new male power. Every man should experience this at least once, to possess a woman everyone else desires."
--after his son was born his first wife announced that she'd fallen in love with a younger guy and divorced Hart, which made him binge at local bars, concluding, "I am sure alcohol saved my life...the exquisite pain of helplessly watching my son in his daily struggle was nothing compared to the loss of my wife. I had bet my entire emotional life on her love."
--he commits to AA and as part of the healing process is supposed to forgive his horribly abusive alcoholic father, who himself was part of AA and became a shining light in the lives of others. Yet Jim still had trouble forgiving the childhood abuse. When confronting his dad, the father responded, "It's worse than you think....I stole from you with my abuse. I was the person who was supposed to give you the ability to forgive and I stole it with my violence....To forgive me, you're going to have to learn it from strangers, but I know you can and will. You have to forgive me, not for me but for you."
--around the same time Jim and Carly were partying with all sorts of famous people, including Walter Cronkite, Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer. But his only barb is given to Washington Post elitist Kay Graham, one of the richest women in America, who he said had "a poor-little-rich-girl quality that her stuttering, dragon-lady veneer never hid very well...She seemed adrift in the heights of unseemly (male) power and yet completely addicted to it. She could have used a constant BS monitor, but no one would ever have the balls to suggest it to her."
--his portrait of Bill Clinton, who Hart likes, is not flattering and shows the politician to be a smarmy celebrity skirt chaser. Jim calls Clinton "the kid in high school who does the same (crap) as me and never gets caught." And reveals that the future president "strong-armed" him to support the campaign, which made him "suspicious."
There is a fascinating section where Hart (easily the least famous person in the room) "interviews" President Clinton in front of all the famous journalists assembled at a party. Bill says the world leader he is most impressed with is Russia's Boris Yeltsin because he told his people things would get worse before they get better. Hart comments, "No American politician would be able to do that...(voters) would never support you or elect you!" It's interesting that Donald Trump has praised the current Russian leader and been torn apart by the same Democrats that thought Clinton was the brilliant savior.
Hart was even staying with the Clintons at Camp David the weekend the president was impeached! Jim writes, "They actually translated the impeachment as a final victory." Wow.
As for Carly Simon, whose own first memoir I also gave a rare five stars to, Hart tries his best to make her look angelic but truly she's a devil in disguise. I see why her little-girl qualities mixed with her sensuality charm every man she encounters, and her rich cultured upbringing make her a magnet for all those NYC elitists, but underneath she's just a quivering shell containing hyperactive nerves, using everyone around her to calm them. I felt sorry for Jim Hart, not only for how she emotionally abused him but that he was so taken by her that he couldn't see how she destroyed the marriage and sent him into the tailspin that led him to embrace serious drug abuse while swearing off ever bedding a woman again.
The only flaw in his thinking seems to be that he's Job-like in what he calls all the "impenetrable woes" that were inflicted upon him "especially the one concerning boys and men." To be honest, much of his problems were in how he reacted to some tough situations. And I'm not sure too many in the gay community will appreciate his calling same-sex attraction a "woe," but in his case he gave up one of the most sexually attractive women in the world to be comforted in the bed of a strange male that turned into a boyfriend (who, by the way, ended up being a drug counselor!).
Hart writes that when Carly finally confesses her affairs, "The most powerful sexual feelings of my life had been formed with her, and I had found one of the only imaginable paths to extinguish it. It vanished in a cloud of smoke, and it felt as though the effects of this drug had forever switched my wiring. Women would never turn me on again, something had rerouted the pleasure centers in my brain and permanently altered me."
Then the final reality check. "I had jumped into an almost completely gay world, and it lacked so much of the allure and texture of the life I was leaving."
This is raw honesty that rarely confronts the simplistic common thinking of the LGBT community. When severe trauma occurs, your body can be permanently altered and change what gives you pleasure. And choosing to find your affection needs met with someone of the same sex may lack what you used to have. Those are tough truths for most to swallow since they want to claim that were "born this way" and try to categorize all in the LGBTQ community into stereotypes. It's more complex than that.
This book is evidence that there is a whole different way of looking at a multifaceted life. And in the end, despite his giving up on God, it's a testimony to his childhood spirit and seminary training that Jim considers himself lucky.
But I suspect that the words have been so carefully selected and paragraphs crafted with the help of pre-publication "readers" like Carl Bernstein, Edna O'Brien and Christopher Kennedy Lawford that it almost becomes a textbook for how to put together a taut compelling autobiography.
It's hard to know where to start--what other life has this kind of story? It's movie-like in how hard to believe all that James Hart experienced. It really should be optioned for a Netflix mini-series or something Ryan Murphy adds to his collection of oddities based on truth. It contains a childhood where he started in seminary at age 14, lost his closest school friend in a horrific drowning, gave up any belief in God, fathers a son with a major mental and physical handicap that's beyond a parent's imagination, and gets hooked on alcohol before finally turning to AA. All of that would be enough to write a book about, but it makes up only a few chapters here.
Somehow this average Jim from Long Island, New York, gets introduced to Carly Simon and she falls for him. This leads him to wealth, famous politicians, authors, singers, celebrities--and all seem to become his best friend! This is the first book where I feel Jackie Kennedy (yes, his friend) is shown in her most human form. But your jaw doesn't stop dropping there as he namedrops all sorts of people he becomes close to, from Mike Nichols (who I still can't figure out why everyone overpraises) to Bill Clinton (ditto). All of Hart's celebrity references contain insights that are beyond what others have revealed.
Heck, this guy even helped Carly Simon write her Oscar-winning song! It was the first to ever win a Grammy, Golden Globe and Oscar, and he gave her the words that were the foundation for a song. Pretty good for someone with no writing or musical background. (Though Hart doesn't address why she didn't give him co-writer's credit nor a portion of the song's profits!)
Then just when you think he has it all, he feels like he can't live up to his wife's success and starts acting on his desires for other men while secretly getting addicted to crack and other drugs. So the final fourth of the book is a wild ride, almost unbelievable that such a transformation could take place as he gives up on his cheating wife while still proclaiming his love for her.
He goes through rehab (including at Betty Ford Clinic, which he slams for its dictatorial methods) and at one point is institutionalized in a mental health facility for being suicidal. While there he receives calls from pals like Alec Baldwin and Michael J. Fox. You know Hart's life must have been bad if Michael J. Fox feels sorry for him! But the oddest part is that Fox says to him, "You helped save my f-ing life," which doesn't get explained beyond Jim adding "we spent time working on our recovery together a few years before." This is where it makes the reader even more fascinated by the author's life but also long for more detail.
There is so much profound in the book:
--that having Carly Simon fall for him "changed my sense of self...I could barely stand being me. I felt a surge of new male power. Every man should experience this at least once, to possess a woman everyone else desires."
--after his son was born his first wife announced that she'd fallen in love with a younger guy and divorced Hart, which made him binge at local bars, concluding, "I am sure alcohol saved my life...the exquisite pain of helplessly watching my son in his daily struggle was nothing compared to the loss of my wife. I had bet my entire emotional life on her love."
--he commits to AA and as part of the healing process is supposed to forgive his horribly abusive alcoholic father, who himself was part of AA and became a shining light in the lives of others. Yet Jim still had trouble forgiving the childhood abuse. When confronting his dad, the father responded, "It's worse than you think....I stole from you with my abuse. I was the person who was supposed to give you the ability to forgive and I stole it with my violence....To forgive me, you're going to have to learn it from strangers, but I know you can and will. You have to forgive me, not for me but for you."
--around the same time Jim and Carly were partying with all sorts of famous people, including Walter Cronkite, Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer. But his only barb is given to Washington Post elitist Kay Graham, one of the richest women in America, who he said had "a poor-little-rich-girl quality that her stuttering, dragon-lady veneer never hid very well...She seemed adrift in the heights of unseemly (male) power and yet completely addicted to it. She could have used a constant BS monitor, but no one would ever have the balls to suggest it to her."
--his portrait of Bill Clinton, who Hart likes, is not flattering and shows the politician to be a smarmy celebrity skirt chaser. Jim calls Clinton "the kid in high school who does the same (crap) as me and never gets caught." And reveals that the future president "strong-armed" him to support the campaign, which made him "suspicious."
There is a fascinating section where Hart (easily the least famous person in the room) "interviews" President Clinton in front of all the famous journalists assembled at a party. Bill says the world leader he is most impressed with is Russia's Boris Yeltsin because he told his people things would get worse before they get better. Hart comments, "No American politician would be able to do that...(voters) would never support you or elect you!" It's interesting that Donald Trump has praised the current Russian leader and been torn apart by the same Democrats that thought Clinton was the brilliant savior.
Hart was even staying with the Clintons at Camp David the weekend the president was impeached! Jim writes, "They actually translated the impeachment as a final victory." Wow.
As for Carly Simon, whose own first memoir I also gave a rare five stars to, Hart tries his best to make her look angelic but truly she's a devil in disguise. I see why her little-girl qualities mixed with her sensuality charm every man she encounters, and her rich cultured upbringing make her a magnet for all those NYC elitists, but underneath she's just a quivering shell containing hyperactive nerves, using everyone around her to calm them. I felt sorry for Jim Hart, not only for how she emotionally abused him but that he was so taken by her that he couldn't see how she destroyed the marriage and sent him into the tailspin that led him to embrace serious drug abuse while swearing off ever bedding a woman again.
The only flaw in his thinking seems to be that he's Job-like in what he calls all the "impenetrable woes" that were inflicted upon him "especially the one concerning boys and men." To be honest, much of his problems were in how he reacted to some tough situations. And I'm not sure too many in the gay community will appreciate his calling same-sex attraction a "woe," but in his case he gave up one of the most sexually attractive women in the world to be comforted in the bed of a strange male that turned into a boyfriend (who, by the way, ended up being a drug counselor!).
Hart writes that when Carly finally confesses her affairs, "The most powerful sexual feelings of my life had been formed with her, and I had found one of the only imaginable paths to extinguish it. It vanished in a cloud of smoke, and it felt as though the effects of this drug had forever switched my wiring. Women would never turn me on again, something had rerouted the pleasure centers in my brain and permanently altered me."
Then the final reality check. "I had jumped into an almost completely gay world, and it lacked so much of the allure and texture of the life I was leaving."
This is raw honesty that rarely confronts the simplistic common thinking of the LGBT community. When severe trauma occurs, your body can be permanently altered and change what gives you pleasure. And choosing to find your affection needs met with someone of the same sex may lack what you used to have. Those are tough truths for most to swallow since they want to claim that were "born this way" and try to categorize all in the LGBTQ community into stereotypes. It's more complex than that.
This book is evidence that there is a whole different way of looking at a multifaceted life. And in the end, despite his giving up on God, it's a testimony to his childhood spirit and seminary training that Jim considers himself lucky.
January 1, 2022
I read this because I love Carly Simon and her two books. I hope to get another glimpse into her world. I had no idea I’d get such an unfiltered, raw and truthful story let alone really learn something. Yes, this book has elite and celebs in it but they are second fiddle to the love, and loss and rising from the ashes James describes so vulnerably and authentically. This is a hidden gem of a book.
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