If You Lived Here You'd Already be Home: Stories

by John Jodzio

“These stories were my kind of stories--a little weird and magical and bittersweet.” --Roxane Gay, New York Times bestselling author of Bad Feminist and HungerA middle-aged masochist in love with a comatose man. A gay birthday clown lamenting the loss of his beloved dog. An amateur veterinarian keeping watch over his suicidal daughter. And a bikini model with a barnacle stuck to her butt cheek. These are just a few of the characters who populate the quirky, offbeat world of If You Lived Here You’d Already Be Home a world that feels at once alien and strangely familiar.In these twenty-one brief, funny stories, John Jodzio documents his characters disappointment, frustration, and longing for a home that seems forever out of reach. By turns bleak and hopeful, cruel and tender, this is an exciting literary debut by a writer to watch, a writer with a unique and compelling voice.“John Jodzio is the best kind of modern fiction a thematic traditionalist who feels totally new.” —Chuck Klosterman, New York Times bestselling author

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Book Club, The United States Of America

210 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 15, 2010

About the author

John Jodzio's work has been featured in a variety of places including This American Life, McSweeney's, and One Story. He's the author of the short story collections, Knockout, Get In If You Want To Live and If You Lived Here You’d Already Be Home. He lives in Minneapolis. Find out more at johnjodzio.net

Reviews

[Mike Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

reminded me of how when you're burning a pizza there is also someone knocking on your back door who is naked and wearing clogs, and your father is also contacting you via video chat to tell you he's thinking of moving to west virginia and shaving his head

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great batch of stories, all of them written succinctly, but not underwritten. I like the way each of them takes us to the very boundaries of what and who we are willing to believe but still keeps us grounded in realism. Of course one character's father has a butterfly farm! And yes, I'm willing to believe that a barnacle will sooner or later find a home on a human's butt-cheek.

With all the lovely absurd and profane humor this book has to offer it's easy to overlook some wonderful tender moments along the way. These characters are nothing if not vulnerable, and they often reveal it in surprising ways(a well-placed grenade in a one of the short-shorts might win the award for most-surprising).

I'll admit to having moments where I wanted more time with a character here and there, but it was never a case where the story didn't work. It was more of a simple desire for another helping of a good thing. It would be great to see some of these lives with the breathing room of a novella or even a novel. Dare to dream.

For now I'm satisfied with these very pleasurable glances at a mixed up, funny, and heartsick world. Their inhabitants are at once surprising and wholly recognizable lost souls.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quirky, offbeat, and darkly funny. Each story has a surreal tone while also exploring very real themes of loss and trauma. Simultaneously bleak and hopeful. One of the most unique short story collections I’ve ever read.

[Graham Catt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Often very funny.

[Hollowspine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Things are swallowed that should not be swallowed, barnacles cling where they do not belong, experiments conclude in unexpected results and butterflies are freed. Jodzio tells his stories with a refreshing lightness, even in his characters often desperate situations. The stories flow well, creating a common theme of loneliness, attempts at self-realization and ploys for attention. His stories also have a lot of humor to them, but then again, something that might be funny to some, a gay clown receiving prank calls, Jodzio creates a very sympathetic and dramatic character, answering the phone every time, certain that his beloved missing dog is about to be returned. There was often an unexpected sweetness to the weird tales, something extra that took the stories from just funny and strange to quirky and haunting.

I enjoyed all the stories, some more than others, including favorites Gravity and Protocol. I look forward to seeing more stories from Jodzio.

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hours after finishing “Gravity” one of the stories in John Jodzio’s debut story collection If You Lived Here You’d Be Home Already, I met with my writing group. As we talked about what we were reading at home, I started in with a rushed and breathless description of the story.

“It’s about this guy who is obsessed with throwing pennies out his office window. He’s on like the eighteenth floor. And as you keep reading you find out that his wife likes to have dangerous sex, and okay, I’m just going to ruin it for you right now and tell you the whole thing. . . ”

Then I told them the entire story, and we all exhaled at once.

Read More

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jodzio is new to me, even though he's published a bunch of stories the last few years, and he can now count me as a fan. This book is full of solid, highly enjoyable stories told from various perspectives with vivid and hilarious details. His talent resides in the same neighborhood as other contemporary young greats like Joe Meno, Wells Tower, and Ryan Boudinot.

[Kate Ledger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, quirky, bizarre stories, each with a emotional punch that takes your breath away. Totally recommended.

[Matt Starr · Rating 4 out of 5]

After having read two of his books, there are certain things I've come to expect from a John Jodzio story. Absurdity. Bittersweetness. Bleak humor. A little bit of magic, in some cases. I don't think this one is quite as polished as Knockout, which makes sense because it came first, but it's still damn good. Some of these stories, like Whiskers (still thinking about it), are just plain special. When he's at his best, Jodzio might be one of my favorite contemporary short storytellers.

[Robert Morgan Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every story a winner. As long as Jodzio's publishing collections of short stories, I'm buyin'.

[Sara G · Rating 3 out of 5]

A somewhat mixed bag. Some stories are captivating and incredibly layered, some are just... nothing, a half baked idea that the author didn't really now how to expand on.

[Casie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Horrible- not my style

[Anna Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

strange, fun, a treat!

[robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

not sure what he was on about here!

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a morbid little collection of short stories, but the writing is good. I'm not sure where Jodzio got his inspiration and I definitely don't want to visit there. Honestly, these stories are creepy, but I kept reading them. There's a kid who's paid to pretend to be the neighbor's dead son, a woman who "cleans up" after her mother's one-night stands, a teenager visiting his paranoid father--not at all the warm, fuzzy, feel good stories.

And yet, there is something about them that kept me reading. I felt something for each of these sick characters, something more than pity or disgust (well, not in every case).

[Matthew Kunnari · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first publication of Replacement Press (Andrew and Sarah De Jong's new publishing venture). This is a collection of short storied by Minneapolis native John Jodzio. Some of the stories I really enjoyed and some I didn't think much of them. A common theme is broken relationships (split families, a dead parent, negligent parents). Most of the stories are very sparse in detail, and for some it seemed to work better than others. I found the storied more compelling as I read, which is foretold by the reviews on the back cover.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am generally not a fan of short stories but decided to try this collection. They are all written by the same author instead of an anthology of different writers. It took me getting through a few stories to get used to the abrupt endings but after a few stories I found I really enjoyed them particularly the endings. They are very cute, quirky stories that occasionally made me laugh out loud and with really interesting characters.

I would recommend this for anyone who is trying to get a different take on the short story genre.

[Loren Kantor · Rating 4 out of 5]

These stories are funny, sad, painful, unpredictable. Jodzio isn't afraid to go deep into his characters' inner turmoil and explore there vulnerabilities and fears. I wouldn't call these stories life-affirming but they are funny and original. This guy can write and if you like your stories ala Raymond Carver, Etgar Karet & Richard Brautigan this book is for you.

[Dena Urbano · Rating 5 out of 5]

The short stories in here really give a person's imagination a run for his/her money. GREAT collection of short stories. I bought two more of his books, because I enjoy the way he tells a story and finds ways to write about things no one else would ever think of. I highly recommend reading any of Jodzio's books! They are entertaining, thoughtful, and adventurous!

[Jason Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

John Jodzio's debut is impressive. If You Lived Here You'd Already Be Home unnerved me several times in different stories, and evoking a reaction--good or bad--is always a small victory for a writer.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Steve Senior is a nice man with a thick head of wavy hair and hazel eyes. He brings grcoery bags brimming with soup labels for the class. You collect all the soup labels and the school gets something. I have yet to see what we get. In the end it is probably just more soup in bigger cans.

[Darci Schummer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the type of book that you don't want to put down. However, you also don't want to finish it because then it will be over. So, you find yourself in a bit of bind while reading. Great story collection.

[Ben · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jodzio's characters spiral through their lives, trying to create unity in their fragmented universes. These stories ache.

[Kerri · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of quirky stories. Funny, sad, bizarre, disturbing. A little bit of everything. Themes of love, death, obsession and swallowing.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

A couple of really standout stories, and all of them well worth reading. John's sardonic voice holds together worlds that hang slightly askew at the hinges.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this offbeat collection of modern short stories. The characters' quirks were convicing and kept me wanting to read just one more story. Kudos, John Jodzio!

[Roxane · Rating 5 out of 5]

http://htmlgiant.com/reviews/two-thin...

[Timothy Faust · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uneven, but some of these really stuck with me. I'll come back and reread it in a few months. Especially liked the title story and "Monarch." Oh, man, did I like "Monarch."

[tee]

I want to read this solely because of his interview that I read here:

http://htmlgiant.com/author-spotlight...

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fresh, distinctive, engaging - - a great debut! I will definitely read more from this author.