What do you think?
Rate this book


329 pages, Hardcover
First published August 7, 2018
It’s first period and only one person definitely wants me dead. Things are going better than expected.
“I’m Sister Joseph Marie. You can call me Sister.”
Sister. Father. It’s like getting a whole other family I don’t want to spend time with.
I looked for other symbols from old heretical Christian groups, but I liked the meaning of the five-fold. We're all in this together. Catholicism never felt like that, for me. It always seemed like I had to squeeze myself in, leave parts of me behind. Now, I feel like my religion wants all of me, because everything and everyone is connected—no matter what we believe.
If it's important to one of us, it's important to all of us. Isn't that what our symbol means?
“Don’t worry,” she tells me. “There’s room at this school for people like us.”
Us?
As I follow her through the door, I hold on to that word like it's a life preserver.
My personal motto has always been if you've already dug yourself a hole too deep to climb out of, you may as well keep digging.
When you hurt people, even if you don't mean to, you don't get to choose where they go from there. When you hurt someone, it stops being about you, or what you want.
It's their deal that you can wear a saint medal, but I can't wear earrings with my religious symbols on them? It's their deal that girls have to constantly check how much skin they're showing, and get shamed if they don't?
Pain isn't beautiful. Suffering isn't pretty. But maybe that's the point.
Saint Clare of Assisi herself said, 'We become what we love. Who we love shapes what we become.' And I would add something else: The way we treat each other proves who we've become. Who are we, St. Clare's? What do we want to become?
I don’t know why people assume shit like that. Like being an atheist requires some sort of tragic backstory.
“Don’t worry,” she tells me. “There’s room at this school for people like us.”
“Sister Joseph Marie made me take my earrings off today. Because they have these Celtic spirals on them, and she said that was a pagan symbol so I couldn’t wear it, which is—ugh. Just because it isn’t a cross doesn’t mean it’s evil.”
This is the calmest cannibalization ritual I’ve ever seen.
“You don’t have a monopoly on suffering, okay? Other people get to be mad about their lives. Your broken leg doesn’t make my sprained ankle hurt any less.”
“You can make mistakes, you can be human, but—you’re still the greatest good I’ve ever known.”
”I didn’t lose my faith or anything, I just never had it in the first place. I never believed in any kind of God.”
“Why?” Eden asks. “It hurts people you care about. It hurts you. Why can’t you leave?”
“Because it’s my home!” Lucy bursts out. “And it’s a mess. I know it’s a mess. But it’s my home, and I’m going to stay, I have to stay, and make it better.”
“What happened to Ms. Simon isn’t my fault.”
“If you put money in the collection plate, you’re supporting them. You’re literally financially supporting what they do.”
“There will always be people you have to listen to,” Dad says. “There will always be rules you think are wrong or unfair, and you know what? Too bad. You’ll have to learn to make better choices.”
“You can decide you were wrong about something, and it doesn’t mean you were stupid. You just know more now. If I still thought the same as I did in seventh grade, I’d be worried.”
“My personal motto has always been if you've already dug yourself a hole too deep to climb out of, you may as well keep digging.”
“You don’t have a monopoly on suffering, okay? Other people get to be mad about their lives. Your broken leg doesn’t make my sprained ankle hurt any less.”
“It's theology. Were you expecting sex, drugs, and rock and roll?"
"One out of the three would be nice.”


