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Shattered Dreams: God's Unexpected Pathway to Joy
If God loves me, why does life hurt so much?
“A new way to live is available to us,” writes widely respected author and counselor Larry Crabb, “a way that leads to a joy-filled encounter with Christ, to a life-arousing community with others, and to a powerful transformation of our interior worlds that makes us more like Jesus.”
You’ll see how God moves you from shattered dreams to better dreams to the highest dream– and the joy that comes from dreaming it.
This is a book that will...
draw you to your closest Friend,
help you discover your deepest
spiritual desires,
point you to your greatest hope,
help you face your deepest pain,
and invite you to your highest joy.
Join Larry Crabb on a life-changing adventure of encountering God in the midst of life’s most difficult times. And learn to live beyond your Shattered Dreams.
“A new way to live is available to us,” writes widely respected author and counselor Larry Crabb, “a way that leads to a joy-filled encounter with Christ, to a life-arousing community with others, and to a powerful transformation of our interior worlds that makes us more like Jesus.”
You’ll see how God moves you from shattered dreams to better dreams to the highest dream– and the joy that comes from dreaming it.
This is a book that will...
draw you to your closest Friend,
help you discover your deepest
spiritual desires,
point you to your greatest hope,
help you face your deepest pain,
and invite you to your highest joy.
Join Larry Crabb on a life-changing adventure of encountering God in the midst of life’s most difficult times. And learn to live beyond your Shattered Dreams.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2001
240 people are currently reading
1778 people want to read
About the author
Larry Crabb
113 books240 followersLawrence J. Crabb Jr.
Larry Crabb is a well-known Christian psychologist, conference and seminar speaker, Bible teacher, and author of more than 25 books—including his most recent, When God’s Ways Make No Sense and two Gold Medallion award-winners Inside Out and Understanding People. He is also the founder/director of NewWay Ministries & most recently his "legacy ministry", LargerStory.com. In addition to various other speaking and teaching opportunities, Crabb offers a week-long School of Spiritual Direction held each year here at The Cove and the Glen Eyrie in CO. He currently is scholar-in-residence at Colorado Christian University. Larry and his wife of 50 years, Rachael, reside near Charlotte, N.C.
Larry Crabb is a well-known Christian psychologist, conference and seminar speaker, Bible teacher, and author of more than 25 books—including his most recent, When God’s Ways Make No Sense and two Gold Medallion award-winners Inside Out and Understanding People. He is also the founder/director of NewWay Ministries & most recently his "legacy ministry", LargerStory.com. In addition to various other speaking and teaching opportunities, Crabb offers a week-long School of Spiritual Direction held each year here at The Cove and the Glen Eyrie in CO. He currently is scholar-in-residence at Colorado Christian University. Larry and his wife of 50 years, Rachael, reside near Charlotte, N.C.
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January 1, 2013
This was exactly the right book at exactly the right time in my life.
Shattered Dreams gave me permission to freely process the grief of realizing that God owes me nothing, in spite of the ubiquitous teaching that "if I do this, then God will (or has to) do that for me". Nowhere in Scripture does God promise to fix my life up the way I wanted-- therefore I don't have to feel guilty about bad things happening in my life. Not only am I not in control and may never understand, it's okay because a God who is Love is in control and does understand not only His plan, but what I am going through.
Whatever I value, desire, think I need or should have or be; in God's eyes none of that outweighs His desire for an intimate relationship with Him.
This is not an easy truth to take, but this book was so healing as I worked through my anger and grief and disappointment with life, the universe, God Himself, and everything.Shattered Dreams showed me that God is big enough to take all that; and that having worked through it, I understood His love on an even deeper level than before. It was life-changing for me.
Shattered Dreams gave me permission to freely process the grief of realizing that God owes me nothing, in spite of the ubiquitous teaching that "if I do this, then God will (or has to) do that for me". Nowhere in Scripture does God promise to fix my life up the way I wanted-- therefore I don't have to feel guilty about bad things happening in my life. Not only am I not in control and may never understand, it's okay because a God who is Love is in control and does understand not only His plan, but what I am going through.
Whatever I value, desire, think I need or should have or be; in God's eyes none of that outweighs His desire for an intimate relationship with Him.
This is not an easy truth to take, but this book was so healing as I worked through my anger and grief and disappointment with life, the universe, God Himself, and everything.Shattered Dreams showed me that God is big enough to take all that; and that having worked through it, I understood His love on an even deeper level than before. It was life-changing for me.
September 8, 2007
I found it mediocre at best. There were some reasonable thoughts - but they seemed obvious to me, (joy is not the same as happiness...pain points us to Christ because we need him most when we are hurting...etc.), while other points seemed to complicate the thesis he was trying to prove.
And my first problem is with his thesis: "Shattered Dreams are necessary for spiritual growth."
I disagree. BROKENESS is the necessity for spiritual growth...a broken and contrite heart. While a shattered dream MAY lead to brokenness, it is not a 'given.' They ARE NOT the same thing.
I have known peoople with broken and contrite hearts who have never had a shattered dream. They are simply broken over their sin and seperation from a holy God. The sad thing is that many people with shattered dreams never reach that same conclusion.
So MY conclusion (after losing my mom as a young child):
I am not in need of Christ because my heart is grieving...though it may be a by product. I am in need of the savior because I am a sinner.
And my first problem is with his thesis: "Shattered Dreams are necessary for spiritual growth."
I disagree. BROKENESS is the necessity for spiritual growth...a broken and contrite heart. While a shattered dream MAY lead to brokenness, it is not a 'given.' They ARE NOT the same thing.
I have known peoople with broken and contrite hearts who have never had a shattered dream. They are simply broken over their sin and seperation from a holy God. The sad thing is that many people with shattered dreams never reach that same conclusion.
So MY conclusion (after losing my mom as a young child):
I am not in need of Christ because my heart is grieving...though it may be a by product. I am in need of the savior because I am a sinner.
August 24, 2021
"There's never a moment in all our lives, from the day we trusted Christ till the day we see Him, when God is not longing to bless us. At every moment, in every circumstance, God is doing us good. He never stops. It gives Him too much pleasure. God is not waiting to bless us after our troubles end. He is blessing us right now, in and through those troubles. At this exact moment, He is giving us what He thinks is good" (1).
"Because He can't resist giving us the highest good, He's determined to give us an encounter with Himself. It's the greatest blessing He can think of. It's the highest dream the self-aware human soul envisions. But we are not self-aware...We dream lower dreams and think there are none higher...So God goes to work to help us see more clearly. One way He works is to allow our lower dreams to shatter" (3-4).
"It is more blessed to give than to receive-- that's true. But for needy adults, who in this respect are like sick infants, something of value must be received before anything of value can be given. Receiving always precedes giving" (19).
"It's hard enough to develop a personal relationship with an invisible God, one whose voice I never hear the way I hear a friend's voice over the phone; it's even harder to feel close to an unresponsive God" (21).
"The problem sincere Christians have with God often comes down to a wrong understanding of what this life is meant to provide. We naturally and wrongly assume we are here to experience something God has never promised. More than perhaps ever before in history, we assume we are here for one fundamental reason: to have a good time. So we invent 'biblical' strategies for seeing to it that our dreams come true...As long as our purpose is to have a good time, to have sole-pleasure exceed soul-pain, God becomes merely a means to an end, an object to be used, never a subject rightfully demanding a response, never a lover to be enjoyed" (31-32).
"Shattered dreams open the door to better dreams, dreams that we do not properly value until the dreams that we improperly value are destroyed" (35).
"Happy people rarely look for joy. They're quite content with what they have. The foundation of their life consists of the blessings they enjoy. Although they may genuinely care about those less fortunate and do great things to help, their central concern is to keep what they have. They haven't been freed to pursue a greater dream" (57).
"It's a great tragedy when Christian people make it through life without ever discovering that their happiness is no different from the happiness of circumstantially well-off pagans" (58).
"The Christian community is often a dangerous place to be when your dreams shatter. Initially, friends are warmly understanding and supportive...But two unwritten rules eventually surface in our response to one who hurts. First, mourning has a time limit...Second, we think there's a proper way to mourn" (65).
"Deaden pain. That's Buddha's way. It eliminates all hope of joy. Deepen desire. That's the way of Jesus. His way awakens passion within our souls that transcends all other passions, that puts them in their place without weakening them. We still yearn for a friend to be faithful, and we hurt when he isn't. But we long so deeply to know Christ that our hurt has no power to drive us toward revenge" (70).
"No one discovers the fullness of their desire for God without entering the fullness of lesser desires...For Jesus, the answer to suffering is to suffer intensely...and then to walk through that pain...toward the center of your soul where above all else you desire God" (73-4).
"When dreams shatter, we long to experience God's nearness in a way that dries our tears. Instead, deeper tears are released...God does want us to be happy; he's gone to great lengths to ensure our eternal joy. But the happiness He provides now is the strange happiness of longing for what we were designed to experience but must wait to fully enjoy" (88-9).
"When we attempt to serve two masters, we end up bowing before the one who is more apparently responsive to our needs and hating the other...God, it appears, accommodates our immaturity not to keep us there, but to give us a confidence in His Presence that will sustain the search for a deeper, more relational expression of His Presence. The farther we travel on our spiritual journey, the less responsive God becomes to our requests for a pleasant life" (96, 98).
"Until we realize how badly we need God, how empty we are without Him, we can sing 'Great Is Thy Faithfulness' without worrying about whether God really shows up" (97).
"Seminars on centering prayer and books on spiritual disciplines, though often presenting vital truth, can appeal to our desire not to discover God but to control Him. Spiritual activities can become spiritual maneuvers designed to make something happen...There is nothing we can do to make Him show up. We merely invite. God chooses whether to respond...And in His mercy, we'll find a confidence developing that He is there. That he has indeed entered our space" (109-111).
"it's more difficult for Christ to restrain Himself from making all our dreams come true than for us to watch them shatter...in the middle of our shattered dreams, Jesus is restraining Himself, for reasons we cannot fully understand, from ending our pain...our unresponsive God is really a restrained lover" (116-7).
"We conceive of the spiritual journey as a cooperative enterprise where we pool our resources with God's to see to it that life works well enough to keep us relatively happy till we reach the world where life works perfectly and we always feel great... We cannot count on God to arrange what happens in our lives in ways that will make us feel good. We can count on God to patiently remove all the obstacles to our enjoyment of Him" (141, 144).
"The cure...for every form of slavery to something other than God is worship. Not the dull worship of rote routine or the shallow worship of contrived excitement, but worship that creates deep pleasure in the One who receives it and the one who gives it" (185-6).
"Because He can't resist giving us the highest good, He's determined to give us an encounter with Himself. It's the greatest blessing He can think of. It's the highest dream the self-aware human soul envisions. But we are not self-aware...We dream lower dreams and think there are none higher...So God goes to work to help us see more clearly. One way He works is to allow our lower dreams to shatter" (3-4).
"It is more blessed to give than to receive-- that's true. But for needy adults, who in this respect are like sick infants, something of value must be received before anything of value can be given. Receiving always precedes giving" (19).
"It's hard enough to develop a personal relationship with an invisible God, one whose voice I never hear the way I hear a friend's voice over the phone; it's even harder to feel close to an unresponsive God" (21).
"The problem sincere Christians have with God often comes down to a wrong understanding of what this life is meant to provide. We naturally and wrongly assume we are here to experience something God has never promised. More than perhaps ever before in history, we assume we are here for one fundamental reason: to have a good time. So we invent 'biblical' strategies for seeing to it that our dreams come true...As long as our purpose is to have a good time, to have sole-pleasure exceed soul-pain, God becomes merely a means to an end, an object to be used, never a subject rightfully demanding a response, never a lover to be enjoyed" (31-32).
"Shattered dreams open the door to better dreams, dreams that we do not properly value until the dreams that we improperly value are destroyed" (35).
"Happy people rarely look for joy. They're quite content with what they have. The foundation of their life consists of the blessings they enjoy. Although they may genuinely care about those less fortunate and do great things to help, their central concern is to keep what they have. They haven't been freed to pursue a greater dream" (57).
"It's a great tragedy when Christian people make it through life without ever discovering that their happiness is no different from the happiness of circumstantially well-off pagans" (58).
"The Christian community is often a dangerous place to be when your dreams shatter. Initially, friends are warmly understanding and supportive...But two unwritten rules eventually surface in our response to one who hurts. First, mourning has a time limit...Second, we think there's a proper way to mourn" (65).
"Deaden pain. That's Buddha's way. It eliminates all hope of joy. Deepen desire. That's the way of Jesus. His way awakens passion within our souls that transcends all other passions, that puts them in their place without weakening them. We still yearn for a friend to be faithful, and we hurt when he isn't. But we long so deeply to know Christ that our hurt has no power to drive us toward revenge" (70).
"No one discovers the fullness of their desire for God without entering the fullness of lesser desires...For Jesus, the answer to suffering is to suffer intensely...and then to walk through that pain...toward the center of your soul where above all else you desire God" (73-4).
"When dreams shatter, we long to experience God's nearness in a way that dries our tears. Instead, deeper tears are released...God does want us to be happy; he's gone to great lengths to ensure our eternal joy. But the happiness He provides now is the strange happiness of longing for what we were designed to experience but must wait to fully enjoy" (88-9).
"When we attempt to serve two masters, we end up bowing before the one who is more apparently responsive to our needs and hating the other...God, it appears, accommodates our immaturity not to keep us there, but to give us a confidence in His Presence that will sustain the search for a deeper, more relational expression of His Presence. The farther we travel on our spiritual journey, the less responsive God becomes to our requests for a pleasant life" (96, 98).
"Until we realize how badly we need God, how empty we are without Him, we can sing 'Great Is Thy Faithfulness' without worrying about whether God really shows up" (97).
"Seminars on centering prayer and books on spiritual disciplines, though often presenting vital truth, can appeal to our desire not to discover God but to control Him. Spiritual activities can become spiritual maneuvers designed to make something happen...There is nothing we can do to make Him show up. We merely invite. God chooses whether to respond...And in His mercy, we'll find a confidence developing that He is there. That he has indeed entered our space" (109-111).
"it's more difficult for Christ to restrain Himself from making all our dreams come true than for us to watch them shatter...in the middle of our shattered dreams, Jesus is restraining Himself, for reasons we cannot fully understand, from ending our pain...our unresponsive God is really a restrained lover" (116-7).
"We conceive of the spiritual journey as a cooperative enterprise where we pool our resources with God's to see to it that life works well enough to keep us relatively happy till we reach the world where life works perfectly and we always feel great... We cannot count on God to arrange what happens in our lives in ways that will make us feel good. We can count on God to patiently remove all the obstacles to our enjoyment of Him" (141, 144).
"The cure...for every form of slavery to something other than God is worship. Not the dull worship of rote routine or the shallow worship of contrived excitement, but worship that creates deep pleasure in the One who receives it and the one who gives it" (185-6).
January 13, 2024
This book was given to me by a friend, to return to another friend by the end of this week, and because I had read another of Larry Crabb’s books and was pleasantly surprised by the way it impacted me, I decided to read it on my travels to Chiang Mai.
It didn’t disappoint, but it also didn’t change my life. Our view of suffering is extremely important in our understanding of God, and it was good to be reminded again that the world does not revolve around me, and that God does not exist to make me comfortable (which I knew, already, but sometimes you just need a blunt person to shout in your face what you already know), and that continuing pain does not mean God is not present and listening.
I think I’d come back to this book, in the case that I am ever confronted with oceans of deeply shattering dreams or sorrows, and need a foundation of truth to help me find solid ground again.
It didn’t disappoint, but it also didn’t change my life. Our view of suffering is extremely important in our understanding of God, and it was good to be reminded again that the world does not revolve around me, and that God does not exist to make me comfortable (which I knew, already, but sometimes you just need a blunt person to shout in your face what you already know), and that continuing pain does not mean God is not present and listening.
I think I’d come back to this book, in the case that I am ever confronted with oceans of deeply shattering dreams or sorrows, and need a foundation of truth to help me find solid ground again.
March 25, 2026
"If we believe there's more pleasure in something other than God, then our obedience will never rise above required duty, our prayers will never aim higher than using God, and our joy will always leave an emptiness that drives us to further self-centered efforts to find the fullness we demand... Does knowing God really provide the pleasure our souls were designed to enjoy? Can we enjoy God more than anyone or anything else?" ahhhh
June 11, 2025
The overarching message of God allowing pain-not because he enjoys watching us struggle, but because He knows any hard thing has great potential to draw us to Himself- was one of the biggest blessings of this book. To know that the author was able to proclaim God’s goodness in the face of the cancer that ultimately took his life only adds to its validity.
One of the biggest takeaways for me is that God knows the deepest longing of our heart is not to experience ease, happiness, and comfort; rather, it is to experience more of Himself, and more of His presence. So in whatever way He sees best to work in our lives; whether through seasons of joy or pain- our lives our His, and He will continue to shape and mold us in ways we may never understand on this side of Heaven.
Fantastic book!
One of the biggest takeaways for me is that God knows the deepest longing of our heart is not to experience ease, happiness, and comfort; rather, it is to experience more of Himself, and more of His presence. So in whatever way He sees best to work in our lives; whether through seasons of joy or pain- our lives our His, and He will continue to shape and mold us in ways we may never understand on this side of Heaven.
Fantastic book!
January 22, 2011
I received this book through LibraryThing's Early Reviewers program and I wasn't that excited. I find many Christian self-help books to be formulaic and oversimplified. Might I also point out that Christian self-help is a moronic classification since Christianity is all about Christ working in people unable to save themselves. So it was with great trepidation that I cracked open the cover and read the Author's Note and Introduction. "Not bad," I thought, "but I don't hold out much hope for the rest."
The rest blew me away. It was the antithesis of self-help, the flip side of the prosperity gospel, the inverse of American Christianity. There are no steps to follow. There is simply an attitude shift and a different view of problems. This is not a way to become happy but a way to find God.
It reminded me of Revelations 3:17,18 - "Because you say, 'I am rich and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,' and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire, that you may become rich, and white garments, that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes, that you may see."
Ten out of ten bookmarks.
http://toomanybooknotenoughtime.blogs...
The rest blew me away. It was the antithesis of self-help, the flip side of the prosperity gospel, the inverse of American Christianity. There are no steps to follow. There is simply an attitude shift and a different view of problems. This is not a way to become happy but a way to find God.
It reminded me of Revelations 3:17,18 - "Because you say, 'I am rich and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,' and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire, that you may become rich, and white garments, that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes, that you may see."
Ten out of ten bookmarks.
http://toomanybooknotenoughtime.blogs...
July 5, 2019
Maybe 98% of the Christian population is not ready to read this book. In so many ways it is everything that your sinful self does not want to hear. But this book puts our pain and suffering into perspective so that we may find our deepest longings and fulfillments in Christ and Christ alone.
This book is ESSENTIAL reading for the Christian who desires to find and truly encounter God.
This book is ESSENTIAL reading for the Christian who desires to find and truly encounter God.
March 30, 2024
An equally very difficult and encouraging read, reinforcing familiar truths, but not necessarily ones easy to hear. The book dives into the purpose of suffering, suggesting that all suffering is God’s way of shattering dreams which stop us from lifting our eyes to eternal dreams. It was a great perspective change, and encouraging reminder all suffering is used by God. However, the book does not explore lament or grieving, so it might be difficult, depending on circumstances, to read about ‘eternal dreams’ if the reader is still processing their ‘shattered dreams’. The book is focused on purpose, not on processing.
May 5, 2010
We led a community group in our neighborhood. On September 17, 2007, a couple in our group lost their 11 month old baby in an accident at home. We grieved, we prayed, we celebrated life and then we listened as our group wanted to understand what had happened in relationship to God. So, we began a study of Dr. Larry Krabb's book Shattered Dreams. A roller coaster ride of emotion, enlightenment and human experience commenced and for almost three months we worked through understanding shattered dreams.
From the outset Dr. Krabb's candid and often difficultl writing produced frustration and opposition to the ideas presented. Several comments and ideas were presented in the first few chapters that challenged our core beliefs and left us bitter but in wonder. At several points I thought about dropping the study altogether considering the reactions of everyone including myself, but I hoped that by continuing we would eventually come to understand God better than we ever had. That hope became a reality.
As we moved through chapter after chapter we began to understand exactly what Dr. Krabb meant in those introductory comments. Through transparent exploration of our experiences we realized what sounded audacious was actually true, and what was originally dismissed as ridiculous became our accepted philosophy going forward.
At some point in your life you will experience shattered dreams…some smaller than others…but it will happen. Read this book to understand them now. Read this book to be prepared. Read this book to understand God's relationship to us in the midst of shattered and completed dreams.
From the outset Dr. Krabb's candid and often difficultl writing produced frustration and opposition to the ideas presented. Several comments and ideas were presented in the first few chapters that challenged our core beliefs and left us bitter but in wonder. At several points I thought about dropping the study altogether considering the reactions of everyone including myself, but I hoped that by continuing we would eventually come to understand God better than we ever had. That hope became a reality.
As we moved through chapter after chapter we began to understand exactly what Dr. Krabb meant in those introductory comments. Through transparent exploration of our experiences we realized what sounded audacious was actually true, and what was originally dismissed as ridiculous became our accepted philosophy going forward.
At some point in your life you will experience shattered dreams…some smaller than others…but it will happen. Read this book to understand them now. Read this book to be prepared. Read this book to understand God's relationship to us in the midst of shattered and completed dreams.
Read
August 10, 2021dont read walking w god through pain and suffering. dont read its not supposed to be this way. dont read a grief observed dont read wounded healer dont even read cry of the soul. this is the only book so far that even makes a dent
October 24, 2025
Skvelá kniha, zmenila môj pohľad na život
April 28, 2022
I really enjoyed this book. It counteracts the cultural idea that God’s promise for his followers is an easy, comfortable life with the greater truth that God’s desire for us is to experience the true joy of knowing Him deeply and highlighted how the offer to this joy comes with much suffering. Crabb follows the story of the book of Ruth and reveals the journey of Naomi from having a good life to one filled with sorrow to eventually one of great joy and hope. Honestly this book took me a long time to get through because it felt really uncomfortable at times and revealed ugly parts of my heart and how I think about and treat God. Sometimes I felt like the wording lacked compassion and yet it was the times when I felt shattered dreams pressing down on me that I picked up the book and found it to be exactly what I needed to hear.
Just a side note, the author compares our modern day Western Christianity view of suffering/desire/happiness to Buddhism quite a few times which I found really interesting living in a majority Buddhist culture.
Just a side note, the author compares our modern day Western Christianity view of suffering/desire/happiness to Buddhism quite a few times which I found really interesting living in a majority Buddhist culture.
August 26, 2023
This book has significantly impacted my faith. Using Naomi’s example in Ruth, Crabb lays out the path for how suffering and pain can lead us into a deeper intimacy with the Lord. If this is something you’re looking for or curious about, I can’t recommend this book enough.
August 26, 2024
3.2*
Clar în unele idei.
Exagerare în altele.
E mai mult o carte despre experiența personală de viață despre durere decât o perspectivă mai amplă.
Rămâne un autor pe care îl apreciez și citesc dar cu cartea asta mi se pare că a deviat în unele aspecte.
Clar în unele idei.
Exagerare în altele.
E mai mult o carte despre experiența personală de viață despre durere decât o perspectivă mai amplă.
Rămâne un autor pe care îl apreciez și citesc dar cu cartea asta mi se pare că a deviat în unele aspecte.
March 19, 2023
So much to say about this amazing little book but truly no way to put it into the appropriate amount of words to do it justice. If you’ve walked the path of suffering or found yourself in long suffering and struggled with the weight of devastation and desperation, perhaps you’ve found yourself asking God the same question I did - when will enough be enough? When is it my turn to have some peace?
This book answers that question and more.
Mostly, it helped to confirm the whispers of the Spirit that have been so graciously given to me in my suffering, and that others, like Crabb, have also been given the same considerations of what it means to be blessed and to suffer under Christ.
It’s a simple book. With straight forward take aways. A difficult message that I’ll wrestle with for the rest of my life. But if the spirit has lead you to it, you can trust that He’ll deliver whatever word needs to be spoken to you through its message.
Here’s to dreaming bigger and better dreams, and rising above the lesser ones that God has allowed to be shattered.
This book answers that question and more.
Mostly, it helped to confirm the whispers of the Spirit that have been so graciously given to me in my suffering, and that others, like Crabb, have also been given the same considerations of what it means to be blessed and to suffer under Christ.
It’s a simple book. With straight forward take aways. A difficult message that I’ll wrestle with for the rest of my life. But if the spirit has lead you to it, you can trust that He’ll deliver whatever word needs to be spoken to you through its message.
Here’s to dreaming bigger and better dreams, and rising above the lesser ones that God has allowed to be shattered.
September 1, 2014
I hated this book. He just says the same thing over and over. God shatters your dreams and you find something better, Joy. I don't feel his example of the story of Naomi and Ruth illustrates the point at all. God takes away her husband and son and then they are rescued by a rich relative and Ruth has children, etc. There is nothing in the story about their relationship with God. Yes they are both happy, they have been delivered from poverty. "Naomi has a son. They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David."
Let's talk about god takes everything away and you don't get any of it back.
I understand we must lose our life to gain it.
He says the same thing over and over and never anything about the process. How do people make it through, etc. Also he implies, don't worry, there will be a happy ending. There isn't always a happy ending and for that reason the story of Ruth and Naomi does not illustrate his point.
I forced myself to finish this book. Christians far too often want to provide simplistic platitudes to solve really hard problems. I do like that he acknowledges that one can experience real grief and problems, and yes there will be very few Christians who understand...usually what you get are Job's "counselors". But I don't feel that he provides anything helpful for someone going through serious problems. God has burned down my life more than once and in the fullness of time I was able to see God's purpose. That He did work it for good. That said I still HATED this book. I kept waiting for him to say SOMETHING helpful for the person going through a terrible trial and it never came.
Let's talk about god takes everything away and you don't get any of it back.
I understand we must lose our life to gain it.
He says the same thing over and over and never anything about the process. How do people make it through, etc. Also he implies, don't worry, there will be a happy ending. There isn't always a happy ending and for that reason the story of Ruth and Naomi does not illustrate his point.
I forced myself to finish this book. Christians far too often want to provide simplistic platitudes to solve really hard problems. I do like that he acknowledges that one can experience real grief and problems, and yes there will be very few Christians who understand...usually what you get are Job's "counselors". But I don't feel that he provides anything helpful for someone going through serious problems. God has burned down my life more than once and in the fullness of time I was able to see God's purpose. That He did work it for good. That said I still HATED this book. I kept waiting for him to say SOMETHING helpful for the person going through a terrible trial and it never came.
January 11, 2011
Who hasn't experienced shattered dreams - moments when our lives feel as if they are falling off their axis, spinning out of control, crashing down at our feet. Who hasn't found themselves devastated and broken, spilled out and hurting, desperate for restoration and redemtpion. What is happiness- True contentment - Security - Blessing? Where does one find these things in this broken and stained world filled with disappointments and heartaches?
Larry Crabb bodly declares the compassion and immeasurable grace of God our Father who desires above all else to bless His children.
I recommended this title to a friend in crisis - she laughed at the title - saying "This doesn't sound very encouraging". Oh - but this is the essence of life, we must experience the shattering to experience true grace, to appreciate the fullness of God's love, to find ourselves in total surrender to a faith that will forever change us and restore us.
I began reading this book after my husband preached a sermon about being "fully equipped" out of II Timothy. How true that God does equip us for the storms of life that batter us and threaten to destroy us.
I have a new-found respect for Larry Crabb as he teaches the doctrines of Christ and tells of the vast love and grace out of his own experience with shattered dreams. Living in the middle of a world shattered by health issues he has experienced grace and restoration and testifies of it in this powerful, life-changing book.
Thank you Waterbrook for this review copy
Larry Crabb bodly declares the compassion and immeasurable grace of God our Father who desires above all else to bless His children.
I recommended this title to a friend in crisis - she laughed at the title - saying "This doesn't sound very encouraging". Oh - but this is the essence of life, we must experience the shattering to experience true grace, to appreciate the fullness of God's love, to find ourselves in total surrender to a faith that will forever change us and restore us.
I began reading this book after my husband preached a sermon about being "fully equipped" out of II Timothy. How true that God does equip us for the storms of life that batter us and threaten to destroy us.
I have a new-found respect for Larry Crabb as he teaches the doctrines of Christ and tells of the vast love and grace out of his own experience with shattered dreams. Living in the middle of a world shattered by health issues he has experienced grace and restoration and testifies of it in this powerful, life-changing book.
Thank you Waterbrook for this review copy
February 21, 2009
This book was a really interesting meditation on Naomi in the book of Ruth and the role of suffering in the Christian life. I enjoyed the parts about Ruth and Naomi the most, and appreciated the way the book rejected the notion that Christianity should bring wealth and comfort. The book also had intriguing thoughts about how one can strengthen a relationship with God even in suffering. I guess the three stars are because I find it difficult to praise suffering as much as the author seems to. I'm all for recognizing the ways that suffering can make us grow, but is it as necessary (and even desirable) to suffer as the author suggests? I don't know that that's really what God is hoping for...
May 25, 2010
What I'm learning...
"Something bad happens. I hurt. I feel unhappy. I long to feel good. I ask God for help. I am resolved to feel better. I do whatever I can to make at least a few dreams come true. That is the way of the flesh.
Something bad happens. I hurt. I feel unhappy. I long to feel good. But I trust God. His pleasure matters more than mine. But His pleasure includes mine. I believe that. So I abandon myself to His pleasure. I live to please Him. I work hard and live responsibly and strive to put balance in my life because that pleases Him. Making Him feel good is a higher priority than making me feel good. And somehow inevitably, at some point, I discover joy. That is the way of the Spirit." pg 154-155
September 21, 2013
"Learn hot to look through life's tragedies and see the blessings God has for you."
"Shattered dreams are never random. They are always a pc of a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story."
Didn't work for me in light of Jenn and Mike's suffering. It didn't give Satan credit for world's evils and sicknesses. Plowed through most of book, about 180 pages, but couldn't finish.
And someone's going to teach on this in my Sunday school class? Please let me miss that class because I doubt I'll be able to keep my mouth shut.
Good God ~ bad devil. How difficult is that for people to understand? To say God orchestrated and pre-planned everything--even tragedy and trauma is to reduce my heavenly Father to a child abuser. I find that theology highly offensive!
"Shattered dreams are never random. They are always a pc of a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story."
Didn't work for me in light of Jenn and Mike's suffering. It didn't give Satan credit for world's evils and sicknesses. Plowed through most of book, about 180 pages, but couldn't finish.
And someone's going to teach on this in my Sunday school class? Please let me miss that class because I doubt I'll be able to keep my mouth shut.
Good God ~ bad devil. How difficult is that for people to understand? To say God orchestrated and pre-planned everything--even tragedy and trauma is to reduce my heavenly Father to a child abuser. I find that theology highly offensive!
March 15, 2012
We used this book in a Bible study. It was either loved or hated. I hated it.
While reading the first chapter, it took everything in me not to throw that book across the room. Apparently the author has had problems with being angry with God and assumes his entire audience has suffered the same experience. I'm sure there are people that struggle with the issue, but not everyone.
Throughout the entire book, there were things I disagreed with.
I hated the book. If you ever struggled with being angry with God, perhaps this would be a good read for you. But, for me, I look at things from a different perspective than this author and have to give it a one star.
While reading the first chapter, it took everything in me not to throw that book across the room. Apparently the author has had problems with being angry with God and assumes his entire audience has suffered the same experience. I'm sure there are people that struggle with the issue, but not everyone.
Throughout the entire book, there were things I disagreed with.
I hated the book. If you ever struggled with being angry with God, perhaps this would be a good read for you. But, for me, I look at things from a different perspective than this author and have to give it a one star.
January 6, 2009
This book really challenged the way I pray and how I see the difficulties that our family faces. Finished it and then immediately read the whole book again and took notes.
September 3, 2012
Fabulous -
December 14, 2021
Excellent. Read in a women's study. Recommended!
April 23, 2020
What do you do when your dreams have been shattered? Maybe even deeper, why would God allow our dreams to be shattered? In Shattered Dreams, Larry Crabb argues that the way to intimacy with Christ and true spiritual maturity is through shattered dreams. “Shattered dreams are necessary for spiritual growth,” Crabb says.
I picked up Crabb’s book with low expectations. I didn’t really know Crabb and his writing before Shattered Dreams and (unfairly) lumped him in the category of self-help Christianity. I expected the gospel-light and the book to be framed by a therapeutic model. I was wrong. So wrong.
If John Piper had a brother who was a counselor, he would write this book. If there can be such a thing, Shattered Dreams is a loving punch in the nose.
Crabb walks through the life of Naomi to navigate what it looks like to have our dreams shattered and how God uses that shattering for our spiritual good. Crabb argues that God is always working for our highest blessing. He says, “There’s never a moment in all our lives, from the day we trusted Christ till the day we see Him, when God is not longing to bless us. At every moment, in every circumstance, God is doing us good. He never stops. It gives Him too much pleasure. God is not waiting to bless us after our troubles end. He is blessing us right now, in and through those troubles. At this exact moment, He is giving us what He thinks is good.”
The conflict comes in that what God’s good for us and what we think is good for us are often not just different but in direct conflict. Our good is constrained to the blessings of this earth. Crabb says, “Our chief aim is to feel better.” Because of this, for us, “God becomes merely a means to an end.” God’s good is found in intimacy with him. Crabb says, “The highest dream we could ever dream, the wish that if granted would make us happier than any other blessing, is to know God, to actually experience Him. The problem is that we don’t believe this idea is true. We assent to it in our heads. But we don’t feel it in our hearts.”
We envision our Christian life as a life where God will be glorified by our prosperity. “The nature of our spiritual journey, we assume, is that God’s glory will be revealed in our prosperity, whether financial, relational, physical, or emotional. As long as we believe that, we walk in the flesh.” Crabb says that, “Satan’s masterpiece is not the prostitute or the skid-row bum. It is the self-sufficient person who has made life comfortable, who is adjusting well to the world and truly likes living here, a person who dreams of no better place to live, who longs only to be a little better—and a little better off—than he already is.”
God so longs for our best—an intimate relationship with him—that he will lead us through the valley of the shadow of death that we might know him intimately. When we see our lives through the lens of experiencing and knowing him, then we see that shattered dreams are a gift, not a catastrophe. I’ve experienced this shattering and know the goodness of it. I’m grateful for Crabb’s wisdom in reframing the Christian’s experience. I commend Shattered Dreams to you and pray that in reading it you grow in your knowledge and trust of our holy and good God.
For more reviews see www.thebeehive.live.
I picked up Crabb’s book with low expectations. I didn’t really know Crabb and his writing before Shattered Dreams and (unfairly) lumped him in the category of self-help Christianity. I expected the gospel-light and the book to be framed by a therapeutic model. I was wrong. So wrong.
If John Piper had a brother who was a counselor, he would write this book. If there can be such a thing, Shattered Dreams is a loving punch in the nose.
Crabb walks through the life of Naomi to navigate what it looks like to have our dreams shattered and how God uses that shattering for our spiritual good. Crabb argues that God is always working for our highest blessing. He says, “There’s never a moment in all our lives, from the day we trusted Christ till the day we see Him, when God is not longing to bless us. At every moment, in every circumstance, God is doing us good. He never stops. It gives Him too much pleasure. God is not waiting to bless us after our troubles end. He is blessing us right now, in and through those troubles. At this exact moment, He is giving us what He thinks is good.”
The conflict comes in that what God’s good for us and what we think is good for us are often not just different but in direct conflict. Our good is constrained to the blessings of this earth. Crabb says, “Our chief aim is to feel better.” Because of this, for us, “God becomes merely a means to an end.” God’s good is found in intimacy with him. Crabb says, “The highest dream we could ever dream, the wish that if granted would make us happier than any other blessing, is to know God, to actually experience Him. The problem is that we don’t believe this idea is true. We assent to it in our heads. But we don’t feel it in our hearts.”
We envision our Christian life as a life where God will be glorified by our prosperity. “The nature of our spiritual journey, we assume, is that God’s glory will be revealed in our prosperity, whether financial, relational, physical, or emotional. As long as we believe that, we walk in the flesh.” Crabb says that, “Satan’s masterpiece is not the prostitute or the skid-row bum. It is the self-sufficient person who has made life comfortable, who is adjusting well to the world and truly likes living here, a person who dreams of no better place to live, who longs only to be a little better—and a little better off—than he already is.”
God so longs for our best—an intimate relationship with him—that he will lead us through the valley of the shadow of death that we might know him intimately. When we see our lives through the lens of experiencing and knowing him, then we see that shattered dreams are a gift, not a catastrophe. I’ve experienced this shattering and know the goodness of it. I’m grateful for Crabb’s wisdom in reframing the Christian’s experience. I commend Shattered Dreams to you and pray that in reading it you grow in your knowledge and trust of our holy and good God.
For more reviews see www.thebeehive.live.
October 9, 2017
(Can I give a book 6 stars? If so, this one would have 6.)
Generally, I'm not a Larry Crabb fan. But, like any believer does, his faith, through his personal experiences which have drawn Him closer to the Lord, have deepened and reshaped his understanding and given him deeper wisdom about the workings of God in our lives. From this vantagepoint, he writes this excellent book. What does it mean when your dreams - your GOOD dreams like a healthy marriage or a meaningful ministry - are shattered, and possibly never are revived? God works for our good - this is true. But that good, asserts Crabb, is not about our happiness, or resolving our problems in this lifetime. In fact, God's greatest good for us is drawing us so close to Him - often through our shattered dreams and broken idols - that our desire for Him far exceeds our desire for anything or anyone on earth. Crabb's theology is solid as a rock, and is utterly in line with Scriptures teaching on God's purposes for our lives, and the ways that He uses suffering - even extended suffering - for great spiritual benefit.
I filled a journal with quotes from this book, only because he gives such good, accurate expression to things I don't often read in Christian writing - that the bottom line, and the deepest aspirations of our lives are all about our desire and relationship for God. And to that end, any loss that He allows in our lives is only to increase the capacity of our hearts to experience joy in Him.
I personally would say this is a must-read for any believer who's been walking with the Lord long enough to have suffered great sorrows and griefs. Joy is here!
Generally, I'm not a Larry Crabb fan. But, like any believer does, his faith, through his personal experiences which have drawn Him closer to the Lord, have deepened and reshaped his understanding and given him deeper wisdom about the workings of God in our lives. From this vantagepoint, he writes this excellent book. What does it mean when your dreams - your GOOD dreams like a healthy marriage or a meaningful ministry - are shattered, and possibly never are revived? God works for our good - this is true. But that good, asserts Crabb, is not about our happiness, or resolving our problems in this lifetime. In fact, God's greatest good for us is drawing us so close to Him - often through our shattered dreams and broken idols - that our desire for Him far exceeds our desire for anything or anyone on earth. Crabb's theology is solid as a rock, and is utterly in line with Scriptures teaching on God's purposes for our lives, and the ways that He uses suffering - even extended suffering - for great spiritual benefit.
I filled a journal with quotes from this book, only because he gives such good, accurate expression to things I don't often read in Christian writing - that the bottom line, and the deepest aspirations of our lives are all about our desire and relationship for God. And to that end, any loss that He allows in our lives is only to increase the capacity of our hearts to experience joy in Him.
I personally would say this is a must-read for any believer who's been walking with the Lord long enough to have suffered great sorrows and griefs. Joy is here!
May 10, 2018
Larry Crabb offers perspective on how to dig into difficult moments by tracing the story of Naomi in the book of Ruth.
I don't agree with everything Crabb says, but I do like the way he offers no excuses or easy answers for when bad things happen. While I had learned some of this material in the "knocks of life", I imagine this would be a valuable resource for those going through any difficult transition for the first time. I really love his emphasis on "feeling" that God is gone doesn't mean that he IS gone. I love how he pointed out that our main goal is usually "to feel better/good" and how this can become idolatry. This has given me a good bit to think about. We want the triumphant story, but that's not always how life goes.
I did get a little annoyed at his "Trust me, wait and see" writing style about what is supposed to motivate us/fill us with joy (spoiler - serving God). I wish he had talked about this more at length because while I definitely agree that God can bring us to this place, I'm wondering what this looks like re: our human desires. Still, this book is making me ask some good questions - I'm learning to ask, "Do I want to let God do what he's going to do or do I want to 'get better'?" I also think this book addresses the significant flaws in the "health and wealth" gospel, ( especially Christian MLMs) and I'm sure a blog post will bubble up about this topic eventually.
I haven't looked very closely at the workbook in the back, but I do want to work through the material. I'll report back once I've worked through it (if I remember - ha).
Pairings: The Problem of Pain,
I don't agree with everything Crabb says, but I do like the way he offers no excuses or easy answers for when bad things happen. While I had learned some of this material in the "knocks of life", I imagine this would be a valuable resource for those going through any difficult transition for the first time. I really love his emphasis on "feeling" that God is gone doesn't mean that he IS gone. I love how he pointed out that our main goal is usually "to feel better/good" and how this can become idolatry. This has given me a good bit to think about. We want the triumphant story, but that's not always how life goes.
I did get a little annoyed at his "Trust me, wait and see" writing style about what is supposed to motivate us/fill us with joy (spoiler - serving God). I wish he had talked about this more at length because while I definitely agree that God can bring us to this place, I'm wondering what this looks like re: our human desires. Still, this book is making me ask some good questions - I'm learning to ask, "Do I want to let God do what he's going to do or do I want to 'get better'?" I also think this book addresses the significant flaws in the "health and wealth" gospel, ( especially Christian MLMs) and I'm sure a blog post will bubble up about this topic eventually.
I haven't looked very closely at the workbook in the back, but I do want to work through the material. I'll report back once I've worked through it (if I remember - ha).
Pairings: The Problem of Pain,
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 25, 2025
Read as part of church Sunday school/book club. I saw "shattered dreams" and thought "yep, I can relate" and signed up. To get the "bad" out of the way (not even really a dig), I think the book is a little repetitive. Crabb says basically the same thing slightly differently multiple times. However, it's not really a dig because I think for this kind of concept, you need to have it hammered into your head repeatedly for it to really stick on the 7th time. This book basically addresses why a good God allows suffering, especially the dream-shattering kind to devout Christians. Well, first of all, it doesn't matter if you're a devout Christian, Christian, or not a Christian, God does not promise good times. What he does promise is that good will come out of bad times. Things hinge on how you define "good." I think this book is about upending all the conscious and unconscious beliefs we hold that have been shaped by our parents, how we grew up, culture, and worldly expectations and challenging us to redefine our perspectives and expectations to align with God's. We need to fight the self-centeredness and entitlement we hold, about how life should be comfortable and happy, and shift our focus off of ourselves and onto God. Shattered dreams help strip away all the inessential things so that we can discover our deep desire for God, after which the things of this life, while still deserving of our attention and effort, pale in comparison to what we are looking forward to in the next life.
October 22, 2022
There was much of this book that ministered significantly to me. Crabb is one that does not hold back from taking a deep dive into a solid theology of suffering, yet he also does quite well do to so with much pastoral wisdom. Overall this work is about maintaining priority of affection as a Christian, first and foremost on Jesus and our heavenly home, and secondly on the things of this world. Chapter 22 in this book summarized this quite well.
Although Crabb was far better than many Christian counselor authors he still did have some of the common tendencies such as not writing very directly and instead in many circular and somewhat abstract ideas. The thing I did not enjoy about the most was that there was often pretty sloppy exegetical ideas including adding much of his own narration to the book of Ruth. I understand why he did this, but it also was not the most helpful and made me whence several times.
For those that find Tim Keller to dense and hard to read this will be a go to recommendation for navigating suffering. However, for most I will still make Keller’s book on suffering the most recommended.
Although Crabb was far better than many Christian counselor authors he still did have some of the common tendencies such as not writing very directly and instead in many circular and somewhat abstract ideas. The thing I did not enjoy about the most was that there was often pretty sloppy exegetical ideas including adding much of his own narration to the book of Ruth. I understand why he did this, but it also was not the most helpful and made me whence several times.
For those that find Tim Keller to dense and hard to read this will be a go to recommendation for navigating suffering. However, for most I will still make Keller’s book on suffering the most recommended.
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