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Chaos Trims My Beard
A Fantasy Noir
Edwayn Sattler is a half-dwarf with a beard and a dead end job. One night when serving drinks to the city's rich and famous, a fiery playboy loses control of his magic and goes on a burning rampage. After some ill-advised heroics aided by the magic that lives in Edwayn's beard, he finds himself unemployed and socially exiled. With no other job or friends to fall back to, he signs on with an inscrutable ratman sporting a badge and a fetching hat, and together they dive beard and whiskers first into a magical murder conspiracy that threatens to consume the city.
Armed with sub-par wits, a dry sense of humor, and a handful of magical tricks, Edwayn encounters conflagrating cops, smooth-talking trolls, shadowy corporate enforcers, and an air-headed vixen with a fatalistic streak. When his easy-going life spirals into a thrilling, darkly hilarious tale of intrigue and deception, Edwayn will find out just how close this newfound chaos will trim his beard.
Edwayn Sattler is a half-dwarf with a beard and a dead end job. One night when serving drinks to the city's rich and famous, a fiery playboy loses control of his magic and goes on a burning rampage. After some ill-advised heroics aided by the magic that lives in Edwayn's beard, he finds himself unemployed and socially exiled. With no other job or friends to fall back to, he signs on with an inscrutable ratman sporting a badge and a fetching hat, and together they dive beard and whiskers first into a magical murder conspiracy that threatens to consume the city.
Armed with sub-par wits, a dry sense of humor, and a handful of magical tricks, Edwayn encounters conflagrating cops, smooth-talking trolls, shadowy corporate enforcers, and an air-headed vixen with a fatalistic streak. When his easy-going life spirals into a thrilling, darkly hilarious tale of intrigue and deception, Edwayn will find out just how close this newfound chaos will trim his beard.
460 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 23, 2017
17 people are currently reading
227 people want to read
About the author
Brett Herman
7 books14 followersBrett Herman is a writer and comedian living in Southern California. With a lifelong obsession with video games, comic books, tabletop gaming, role-playing and pretty much every other hobby that keeps his head up in the clouds with dragons and star fighters, Brett has been making up stories and testing the patience of anyone who will listen for decades. When he's not writing or immersed in some new game or book, Brett can be found performing comedy throughout Orange County and Los Angeles, or wandering around with his dog Penny and enjoying the outdoors. He predominantly writes science fiction and fantasy.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
October 5, 2021
So, here it is - our winner of the fantasy faction batch of SPFBO 2017!
It is definitely not a book I would have picked up by cover or blurb. As it was in my #SPFBO pile a while ago, I did start it, and was soon sucked in. Such a fun romp!
First off - no, the book isn't perfect. What book ever is? Worst part about this one for me were the typos. this really needed a copy edit, or at least a close proofread. But as that is something rather easily resolved compared to a weak plot or badly written characters/dialogue I didn't take it into account on the rating much. I really hope this has gotten an updated version since 2017.
To the story:
I saw the cover and went "what the heck?" with a snort. And that is the whole book! You start it and you kinda shake your head and snort some more. I had so much fun reading this completely crazy story I can't even tell you.
The main character is a dwarf, though his beard almost is a character of it's own. He gets hired by a ratman of all things, to help put an end to some recent murders and an assumed conspiracy. And those two just work so well for me! Very unlikely characters who just bounce banter off each other in a very amusing way. The plot itself is almost as ridiculous - beardfire playing an important part for example... There's plenty of action, mysteries, friends and allies and it all plays out in a really cool setting. a magic city that is build on top of the normal city, full of all types of creatures, mages, flying vehicles, bridges between spellsteel skyscrapers and only god (or the author) knows what else!
If you are looking for serious fantasy - this is NOT at all the book for you. But if you are looking for some "What the hell?!?" moments, some giggles, snorts and an all around fun time - Chaos trims my beard definitely is worth a very close look! It definitely is unique in it's utter strangeness.
Yes, I know how often I used the word snort - and it isn't even often enough. Even now weeks after finishing it, it still makes me snort just thinking of it.
It is definitely not a book I would have picked up by cover or blurb. As it was in my #SPFBO pile a while ago, I did start it, and was soon sucked in. Such a fun romp!
First off - no, the book isn't perfect. What book ever is? Worst part about this one for me were the typos. this really needed a copy edit, or at least a close proofread. But as that is something rather easily resolved compared to a weak plot or badly written characters/dialogue I didn't take it into account on the rating much. I really hope this has gotten an updated version since 2017.
To the story:
I saw the cover and went "what the heck?" with a snort. And that is the whole book! You start it and you kinda shake your head and snort some more. I had so much fun reading this completely crazy story I can't even tell you.
The main character is a dwarf, though his beard almost is a character of it's own. He gets hired by a ratman of all things, to help put an end to some recent murders and an assumed conspiracy. And those two just work so well for me! Very unlikely characters who just bounce banter off each other in a very amusing way. The plot itself is almost as ridiculous - beardfire playing an important part for example... There's plenty of action, mysteries, friends and allies and it all plays out in a really cool setting. a magic city that is build on top of the normal city, full of all types of creatures, mages, flying vehicles, bridges between spellsteel skyscrapers and only god (or the author) knows what else!
If you are looking for serious fantasy - this is NOT at all the book for you. But if you are looking for some "What the hell?!?" moments, some giggles, snorts and an all around fun time - Chaos trims my beard definitely is worth a very close look! It definitely is unique in it's utter strangeness.
Yes, I know how often I used the word snort - and it isn't even often enough. Even now weeks after finishing it, it still makes me snort just thinking of it.
Read
January 4, 2018I haven't read this yet but it is one of the ten finalists for the Self-Published Fantasy Blog-Off 2017.
That's one of 10 selected from 300 entrants, so it must have something going for it!
Read about the contest here:
http://mark---lawrence.blogspot.co.uk...
Check out the finalists here:
http://mark---lawrence.blogspot.co.uk...
That's one of 10 selected from 300 entrants, so it must have something going for it!
Read about the contest here:
http://mark---lawrence.blogspot.co.uk...
Check out the finalists here:
http://mark---lawrence.blogspot.co.uk...
November 28, 2017
**Edit** I'm changing this to a 5 star for the STORY and CHARACTERS. The editing is an issue, but I'd like to think that will be fixed with time and I want to promote this book because the ideas are awesome.
This book is part of Fantasy Factions grouping, and so far doesn’t have official feedback yet, but on Goodreads Laura Hughes said:
“This book was way more entertaining than it had any right to be. Lots of spelling and grammatical errors that would have been fixed with a basic copy edit, but plenty of laugh out loud moments that more than made up for the rough edges. Full SPFBO review to come on Fantasy-Faction!”
This will appeal to people who like non-human protags, fantasy noir, and are looking for something wildly different. I’ve never read anything quite like it before and it was such a nice breath of fresh air.
----------------------------------------------------------
Plot:
The book starts out with the Ratman interviewing Edwayn (main character) about a series of events that happened recently that lead up until that moment. Edwayn is speaking in front of a recorder and starts to tell his story. He was working as a caterer when some asshole ends up lighting himself on fire – but not just a normal fire – it looks like this was murder and that’s the last thing Edwayn feels like dealing with.
He has to chase this fire guy all over the manor he was catering for until finally the guy dies. He ends up getting blamed for what happened and lands in a lot of trouble with his employer.
After he loses his job he finds a ghostly looking girl who wants to hire him to kill her. Elana is totally serious that she’s tired and wants to die, but can’t figure out anyone who can do it. Since Edwayn recently helped dispatch the guy on fire, she thought maybe he could help her.
As it turns out, when a person is consumed by elemental magic it’s called being “overrun”, and the Ratman wants Edwayns help during his investigation of why there’s a sudden increase in “overruns”. They are usually rare events but there have been 11 in the past week, all “fire-overruns”, and 10/11 are police officers – and so the meat of the story begins.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Characters:
* Edwayn – the main character and a dwarf. His beard is almost a character in and of itself it gets referenced and used so often, and Edwayn is also rather protective of his beard – really pisses him off when someone tries to light it on fire. He’s a caterer when the book starts out, and from the sound of it has been job hopping and getting fired frequently. He has an awesome self-deprecating sense of humor that landed for me rather than feeling angsty. He’s a fan of pockets and magicless culture and lifestyle – he reads a lot of books on the way things were before the “elves infected everything with magic”. Since he’s only a half-dwarf he doesn’t really fit in anywhere, dwarves will usually greet each other, even strangers, with open arms and go get a drink with each other, but not with Edwayn because he’s clearly half human.
* The Ratman, or “This One” or Venrick the Unabashed. Since he is one of 1600 siblings in his family, he refers to himself simply as “This One”. He’s very odd, but it seems like most rat people are. He wears a bowler hat and carries a gun, and seems to be a rather no-nonsense kind of character.
* Elara – Ghost girl that needs help, Edwayn tries really hard to just nope out of it, but she convinces him to help her. She’s actually a suicidal ghost-like entity and wants to hire Edwayn to kill her.
--------------------------------------------------------------
World Building:
* Elves are almost all tall, lithe, and gorgeous – and if there enough of them in one room the rest of the crowd sort of gets mesmerized. They have long lifespans
* There are other typical fantasy races like Ogres, Orcs, Trolls and Dwarves
* Magerock is a popular decorative stone that people use because it absorbs magic. It serves a few purposes, one being security – no one covered in an illusion could enter an archway made of magestone and have their illusion stay in tact.
* Magic is everywhere in this book, it integrates with the every day mundane things, like going places in a building. There’s a magical air current in most buildings that whisks you away to where you want to go just by thinking about it
* New Sketlin is the city where most of the story takes place, and it was well realized. It was described as a city of bridges where all of the bridges that connect the buildings are just as much a part of the cityscape as the buildings
----------------------------------------------
Pacing/Prose/Tone:
I blew through this book fairly quickly. It took me a little while to adjust to the main character since he was so different from anything I’ve read this year – but once I did this was a page turner for me.
I think with a solid editor this would have been a 5 star book, but because there were a bunch of spelling and editing errors it ended up being a 4 for me. That said though, I loved this book – it didn’t detract from my enjoyment, but I couldn’t give it 5 stars.
The tone was light, funny and adventurous – all of my favorite things. The self-deprecating sense of humor really hit home for me, the language was modernized but it worked well because it was a more modern setting with fantasy races in it.
------------------------------------------
Audience:
For people who like single POV
For people who like non human POV
For people who like traditional fantasy races
For people who like comedy in their fantasy
For people who like noir
For people who like lots of magic
For people who like books with a lighter tone
This book is part of Fantasy Factions grouping, and so far doesn’t have official feedback yet, but on Goodreads Laura Hughes said:
“This book was way more entertaining than it had any right to be. Lots of spelling and grammatical errors that would have been fixed with a basic copy edit, but plenty of laugh out loud moments that more than made up for the rough edges. Full SPFBO review to come on Fantasy-Faction!”
This will appeal to people who like non-human protags, fantasy noir, and are looking for something wildly different. I’ve never read anything quite like it before and it was such a nice breath of fresh air.
----------------------------------------------------------
Plot:
The book starts out with the Ratman interviewing Edwayn (main character) about a series of events that happened recently that lead up until that moment. Edwayn is speaking in front of a recorder and starts to tell his story. He was working as a caterer when some asshole ends up lighting himself on fire – but not just a normal fire – it looks like this was murder and that’s the last thing Edwayn feels like dealing with.
He has to chase this fire guy all over the manor he was catering for until finally the guy dies. He ends up getting blamed for what happened and lands in a lot of trouble with his employer.
After he loses his job he finds a ghostly looking girl who wants to hire him to kill her. Elana is totally serious that she’s tired and wants to die, but can’t figure out anyone who can do it. Since Edwayn recently helped dispatch the guy on fire, she thought maybe he could help her.
As it turns out, when a person is consumed by elemental magic it’s called being “overrun”, and the Ratman wants Edwayns help during his investigation of why there’s a sudden increase in “overruns”. They are usually rare events but there have been 11 in the past week, all “fire-overruns”, and 10/11 are police officers – and so the meat of the story begins.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Characters:
* Edwayn – the main character and a dwarf. His beard is almost a character in and of itself it gets referenced and used so often, and Edwayn is also rather protective of his beard – really pisses him off when someone tries to light it on fire. He’s a caterer when the book starts out, and from the sound of it has been job hopping and getting fired frequently. He has an awesome self-deprecating sense of humor that landed for me rather than feeling angsty. He’s a fan of pockets and magicless culture and lifestyle – he reads a lot of books on the way things were before the “elves infected everything with magic”. Since he’s only a half-dwarf he doesn’t really fit in anywhere, dwarves will usually greet each other, even strangers, with open arms and go get a drink with each other, but not with Edwayn because he’s clearly half human.
* The Ratman, or “This One” or Venrick the Unabashed. Since he is one of 1600 siblings in his family, he refers to himself simply as “This One”. He’s very odd, but it seems like most rat people are. He wears a bowler hat and carries a gun, and seems to be a rather no-nonsense kind of character.
* Elara – Ghost girl that needs help, Edwayn tries really hard to just nope out of it, but she convinces him to help her. She’s actually a suicidal ghost-like entity and wants to hire Edwayn to kill her.
--------------------------------------------------------------
World Building:
* Elves are almost all tall, lithe, and gorgeous – and if there enough of them in one room the rest of the crowd sort of gets mesmerized. They have long lifespans
* There are other typical fantasy races like Ogres, Orcs, Trolls and Dwarves
* Magerock is a popular decorative stone that people use because it absorbs magic. It serves a few purposes, one being security – no one covered in an illusion could enter an archway made of magestone and have their illusion stay in tact.
* Magic is everywhere in this book, it integrates with the every day mundane things, like going places in a building. There’s a magical air current in most buildings that whisks you away to where you want to go just by thinking about it
* New Sketlin is the city where most of the story takes place, and it was well realized. It was described as a city of bridges where all of the bridges that connect the buildings are just as much a part of the cityscape as the buildings
----------------------------------------------
Pacing/Prose/Tone:
I blew through this book fairly quickly. It took me a little while to adjust to the main character since he was so different from anything I’ve read this year – but once I did this was a page turner for me.
I think with a solid editor this would have been a 5 star book, but because there were a bunch of spelling and editing errors it ended up being a 4 for me. That said though, I loved this book – it didn’t detract from my enjoyment, but I couldn’t give it 5 stars.
The tone was light, funny and adventurous – all of my favorite things. The self-deprecating sense of humor really hit home for me, the language was modernized but it worked well because it was a more modern setting with fantasy races in it.
------------------------------------------
Audience:
For people who like single POV
For people who like non human POV
For people who like traditional fantasy races
For people who like comedy in their fantasy
For people who like noir
For people who like lots of magic
For people who like books with a lighter tone
November 27, 2018
The custom cocktail for this novel is available at The Fantasy Inn!
Chaos Trims My Beard is my second Fantasy Noir in a pretty short space of time (the first being Lords of Asylum by Kevin Wright), and while they share a fair bit in common (including both being SPFBO entries!), it’s impressive to see just how varied this very specific subgenre can be. While both contain a hard boiled murder mystery at their core, Herman has opted for a darkly comic tone that is much lighter and quirkier than Wright’s heavy, oppressive atmosphere.
Edwayn is a very typical Noir protagonist—depressed, hard drinking, observant and a bit of a drifter—imagine Rick Blaine from Casablanca in Half-Dwarf form and you’re not far off the mark. He’s working a dead-end job in a bar waiting tables and clearing glasses for the city’s elite—Elves and Humans who get their kicks performing ostentatious magical feats in public—when one of them turns himself into an inferno by mistake. When the fireball takes off, Ed follows in hot pursuit to prevent him from doing too much damage to the bar and its patrons. He chases the guy down and eventually manages to subdue him using a small bag of charms he keeps hidden in his beard, but ends up taking the blame for the damage and the hit to his boss’s reputation.
In short (heh), he’s pretty fucked.
Two encounters follow that set Edwayn’s course for the rest of the story. The first is a cop named Venrick, a rat-like creature with a fondness for natty hats and guns. He wants to hire Ed for his skills in observation and reasoning. The second is Elara, a woman in the form of an air elemental who wants to die but can’t, and believes that Ed is the only person who can help her.
So, is it successful? In some respects, definitely. In others, it’s not quite there. After Fantasy and Classics, hardboiled is one of my favorite genres. I’m a huge fan of Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammett, James Ellroy, Mickey Spillane, John Dunning, etc. So my hope was for a tightly plotted thrill ride with bags of tension and wit. What I received was very enjoyable, but it was also loose and a little convoluted. There were several scenes that weren’t necessary to the plot, or that ran on too long. But oh, the worldbuilding! Now that was delicious, and absolutely worth the occasional detour. The dialogue was also a highlight, and Edwayn made for a humble and likable protagonist. The sense of humor is understated but ever-present, and overall I found myself having a very good time.
There are some grammatical and spelling errors that are frequent enough to be noticeable, which is a great shame. However, my copy of the book is several months old so it’s possible that this is no longer the case. Nonetheless, I’d definitely recommend this novel if you’re a fan of detective stories and are looking to dip your toes into the fantasy equivalent, or if you’re a fantasy fan looking for something a little different. Its originality and inventiveness alone make it worth the ride, and the author’s wit and warmth more than make up for its issues. With another round of editing this would be something quite special, and I’ll definitely be interested to take a look at the author’s future novels.
Chaos Trims My Beard is my second Fantasy Noir in a pretty short space of time (the first being Lords of Asylum by Kevin Wright), and while they share a fair bit in common (including both being SPFBO entries!), it’s impressive to see just how varied this very specific subgenre can be. While both contain a hard boiled murder mystery at their core, Herman has opted for a darkly comic tone that is much lighter and quirkier than Wright’s heavy, oppressive atmosphere.
Edwayn is a very typical Noir protagonist—depressed, hard drinking, observant and a bit of a drifter—imagine Rick Blaine from Casablanca in Half-Dwarf form and you’re not far off the mark. He’s working a dead-end job in a bar waiting tables and clearing glasses for the city’s elite—Elves and Humans who get their kicks performing ostentatious magical feats in public—when one of them turns himself into an inferno by mistake. When the fireball takes off, Ed follows in hot pursuit to prevent him from doing too much damage to the bar and its patrons. He chases the guy down and eventually manages to subdue him using a small bag of charms he keeps hidden in his beard, but ends up taking the blame for the damage and the hit to his boss’s reputation.
In short (heh), he’s pretty fucked.
Two encounters follow that set Edwayn’s course for the rest of the story. The first is a cop named Venrick, a rat-like creature with a fondness for natty hats and guns. He wants to hire Ed for his skills in observation and reasoning. The second is Elara, a woman in the form of an air elemental who wants to die but can’t, and believes that Ed is the only person who can help her.
So, is it successful? In some respects, definitely. In others, it’s not quite there. After Fantasy and Classics, hardboiled is one of my favorite genres. I’m a huge fan of Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammett, James Ellroy, Mickey Spillane, John Dunning, etc. So my hope was for a tightly plotted thrill ride with bags of tension and wit. What I received was very enjoyable, but it was also loose and a little convoluted. There were several scenes that weren’t necessary to the plot, or that ran on too long. But oh, the worldbuilding! Now that was delicious, and absolutely worth the occasional detour. The dialogue was also a highlight, and Edwayn made for a humble and likable protagonist. The sense of humor is understated but ever-present, and overall I found myself having a very good time.
There are some grammatical and spelling errors that are frequent enough to be noticeable, which is a great shame. However, my copy of the book is several months old so it’s possible that this is no longer the case. Nonetheless, I’d definitely recommend this novel if you’re a fan of detective stories and are looking to dip your toes into the fantasy equivalent, or if you’re a fantasy fan looking for something a little different. Its originality and inventiveness alone make it worth the ride, and the author’s wit and warmth more than make up for its issues. With another round of editing this would be something quite special, and I’ll definitely be interested to take a look at the author’s future novels.
May 3, 2018
Brett Herman’s Chaos Trims My Beard is one of the ten finalists in the 2017 Self-Published Fantasy Blog Off contest. To view the status of all finalists, please visit this site.
The mashing up of two genres can be a high-risk, high-reward endeavor. Chocolate and peanut butter, pretzels and peanut butter, peanut butter and jelly: all successful and timeless pairings, yet the merging of two or more written genres can be a bit more challenging. Brett Herman’s Chaos Trims My Beard attempts to blend hard-boiled noir in an urban fantasy setting. Does it work? Yes and no.
Outside of fantasy, hard-boiled mystery is my favorite fictional genre, as well as my most read. Influential legends such as Raymond Chandler, Jim Thompson, and Elmore Leonard are masters of complex plotting, sharp dialogue, and high tension. Therefore, I was very much looking forward to reading a high fantasy story revolving around a half-dwarf and a rat-man who try to unravel a murderous conspiracy in their city. Police officers who are using too much magic are becoming ‘overrun’ and ending up dead, and our hero Edwayn wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time’s himself into being a prime suspect. Edwayn, who sports a huge braided beard that he’s had since birth, is not gifted in wielding magic like his human and elven peers. Instead, he carries a hidden pouch under his chin that holds a few magical and reusable charms. He’s soon approached by a dual-gun wielding, feathered-hat wearing rat-man named Venrick who works for the police department’s internal affairs division. Their journey to discovery takes them through a multitude of oddities, including a fatalistic air elemental, a boar-shaped ornithopter, trigger-happy arsonists, and shady corporate politics.
If you think it sounds convoluted, you’re right. What also doesn’t help the story is that the first-person POV that we spend inside Edwayn’ mind is sometimes choppy and meandering. The full motivations of the supporting characters aren’t abundantly clear, even as the novel escalates into its final act. The resolution ties many of the plot threads together, but I was left questioning several plot holes. I came away feeling like another round of editing to tighten up the story and lose some of the extraneous oddities could be beneficial to the story.
On the flip side, I think Herman handled the tone very well. About a third of the way through the novel, I imagined Edwayn’s narration using the voice of Humphrey Bogart, and it greatly improved my reading experience. The clipped nature of Edwayn’s delivery of the story’s events seemed to fit much better when emulating the vocal styling and personality of a Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe. The dry humor started to shine through a bit more, and the few puns that landed, landed big. Herman also did an admirable job of incorporating some of the more infamous tropes of these types of books or films: the hard-drinking, working class loner for a hero; untrustworthy cops; a femme fatale with her own agenda; plenty of fist fights and goons knocking each other unconscious; a plot so thick with double-crossings that it easy to forget what side they started on.
All in all, this was a mostly enjoyable read, other than a few standout passages that could benefit from another editing pass. I commend the author’s attempt to pay respectful homage to both the fantasy and noir genres while creating something fresh and interesting. This is a book that targets a niche audience, and if you fall into that category, you owe it yourself to give it a shot.
6.3 / 10
The mashing up of two genres can be a high-risk, high-reward endeavor. Chocolate and peanut butter, pretzels and peanut butter, peanut butter and jelly: all successful and timeless pairings, yet the merging of two or more written genres can be a bit more challenging. Brett Herman’s Chaos Trims My Beard attempts to blend hard-boiled noir in an urban fantasy setting. Does it work? Yes and no.
Outside of fantasy, hard-boiled mystery is my favorite fictional genre, as well as my most read. Influential legends such as Raymond Chandler, Jim Thompson, and Elmore Leonard are masters of complex plotting, sharp dialogue, and high tension. Therefore, I was very much looking forward to reading a high fantasy story revolving around a half-dwarf and a rat-man who try to unravel a murderous conspiracy in their city. Police officers who are using too much magic are becoming ‘overrun’ and ending up dead, and our hero Edwayn wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time’s himself into being a prime suspect. Edwayn, who sports a huge braided beard that he’s had since birth, is not gifted in wielding magic like his human and elven peers. Instead, he carries a hidden pouch under his chin that holds a few magical and reusable charms. He’s soon approached by a dual-gun wielding, feathered-hat wearing rat-man named Venrick who works for the police department’s internal affairs division. Their journey to discovery takes them through a multitude of oddities, including a fatalistic air elemental, a boar-shaped ornithopter, trigger-happy arsonists, and shady corporate politics.
If you think it sounds convoluted, you’re right. What also doesn’t help the story is that the first-person POV that we spend inside Edwayn’ mind is sometimes choppy and meandering. The full motivations of the supporting characters aren’t abundantly clear, even as the novel escalates into its final act. The resolution ties many of the plot threads together, but I was left questioning several plot holes. I came away feeling like another round of editing to tighten up the story and lose some of the extraneous oddities could be beneficial to the story.
On the flip side, I think Herman handled the tone very well. About a third of the way through the novel, I imagined Edwayn’s narration using the voice of Humphrey Bogart, and it greatly improved my reading experience. The clipped nature of Edwayn’s delivery of the story’s events seemed to fit much better when emulating the vocal styling and personality of a Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe. The dry humor started to shine through a bit more, and the few puns that landed, landed big. Herman also did an admirable job of incorporating some of the more infamous tropes of these types of books or films: the hard-drinking, working class loner for a hero; untrustworthy cops; a femme fatale with her own agenda; plenty of fist fights and goons knocking each other unconscious; a plot so thick with double-crossings that it easy to forget what side they started on.
All in all, this was a mostly enjoyable read, other than a few standout passages that could benefit from another editing pass. I commend the author’s attempt to pay respectful homage to both the fantasy and noir genres while creating something fresh and interesting. This is a book that targets a niche audience, and if you fall into that category, you owe it yourself to give it a shot.
6.3 / 10
January 18, 2018
This is a book I read as part of the #SPFBO as it's one of the finalists, but I knew from the start that it's probably not going to be my particular style of reading. This is kind of an urban-noir, cross-over, mash-up, genre-blend (yes, it's doing a lot in one book) and it focuses on a half-dwarf outcast from most of the magical society.
Ed, our main character, is someone who works as a waiter, but he quickly becomes wrapped up into a magical plot of people spontaneously combusting, ratmen, and air-girls. He's kind of 'in the wrong place at the wrong time' and that's basically the premise for how he ends up involved in all sorts of bizarre situations.
I'd say that the book is definitely mostly about the world and less about the characters themselves and what they're mixed up in. Although there is definitely a story to the book, it feels like it's mostly focused on the peculiar backdrop of this mixed-world and also on the strange occurrences of the mages, dwarves, elves and other odd magical beings. There's a lot about the world which feels reminiscent of noir fantasy, and yet it does have a sort of charm to it too at times. Overall, it's a decent world, but for me the back-drop didn't keep me as engaged as I think it was meant to and I found some sections rather frustratingly dull.
In the end, there was no emotional connection, and the story ended in a way that all felt too convenient and over the top for me. I know I don't tend to love urban-fantasy blends, and yet I know too that I've read others which fall under that tag-line but which I preferred to this one. I gave it a 2.5*s overall out of 5 (or a 5* out of 10 for the purposes of SPFBO).
Ed, our main character, is someone who works as a waiter, but he quickly becomes wrapped up into a magical plot of people spontaneously combusting, ratmen, and air-girls. He's kind of 'in the wrong place at the wrong time' and that's basically the premise for how he ends up involved in all sorts of bizarre situations.
I'd say that the book is definitely mostly about the world and less about the characters themselves and what they're mixed up in. Although there is definitely a story to the book, it feels like it's mostly focused on the peculiar backdrop of this mixed-world and also on the strange occurrences of the mages, dwarves, elves and other odd magical beings. There's a lot about the world which feels reminiscent of noir fantasy, and yet it does have a sort of charm to it too at times. Overall, it's a decent world, but for me the back-drop didn't keep me as engaged as I think it was meant to and I found some sections rather frustratingly dull.
In the end, there was no emotional connection, and the story ended in a way that all felt too convenient and over the top for me. I know I don't tend to love urban-fantasy blends, and yet I know too that I've read others which fall under that tag-line but which I preferred to this one. I gave it a 2.5*s overall out of 5 (or a 5* out of 10 for the purposes of SPFBO).
October 26, 2017
This book was way more entertaining than it had any right to be. Lots of spelling and grammatical errors that would have been fixed with a basic copy edit, but plenty of laugh out loud moments that more than made up for the rough edges. Full SPFBO review to come on Fantasy-Faction!
January 14, 2018
Read for the SPFBO, this is the first book I dove into once we had our shortlist of ten.
As the title shows, this book has a noir-style element to it, in the way that it’s told and the mood it sets. It worked in that it assisted with the world building and made it stand out from the crowd and gives it a bit more of an urban fantasy feel whilst keeping it grittier than most.
What we have here is a dwarf and his rat-police friend (also as we can see from the cover), who are far more relatable than most protagonists we get as they’re stuck in dead-end jobs, doing and fixing things that no one else wants to get involved in, and not getting much thanks for it either most of the time.
I really liked the worldbuilding in this one, which is good as that is primarily what drives the storyline. While the characters are engaging and fun they don’t entirely drive the story – and they are the primary cause for concern at the ending which I will admit was a little disappointing.
What let this one down for me, other than the fact it’s in dire needs of an editor (so many typos!), is that while I get it was trying to be zany and hilarious it didn’t quite balance it well throughout the book. Pratchett is zany, and yet the world makes sense and so forth – in this, it kind of felt like a NaNo novel where you literally just write anything to keep the pace going and hit those 1,667 words a day so you can give yourself a tick. And hell, it keeps you reading if nothing else – parts were highly entertaining… but does a fun book mean it should win? *shrug*
This one certainly has a lot of potential for the future, that, I can say for it.
As the title shows, this book has a noir-style element to it, in the way that it’s told and the mood it sets. It worked in that it assisted with the world building and made it stand out from the crowd and gives it a bit more of an urban fantasy feel whilst keeping it grittier than most.
What we have here is a dwarf and his rat-police friend (also as we can see from the cover), who are far more relatable than most protagonists we get as they’re stuck in dead-end jobs, doing and fixing things that no one else wants to get involved in, and not getting much thanks for it either most of the time.
I really liked the worldbuilding in this one, which is good as that is primarily what drives the storyline. While the characters are engaging and fun they don’t entirely drive the story – and they are the primary cause for concern at the ending which I will admit was a little disappointing.
What let this one down for me, other than the fact it’s in dire needs of an editor (so many typos!), is that while I get it was trying to be zany and hilarious it didn’t quite balance it well throughout the book. Pratchett is zany, and yet the world makes sense and so forth – in this, it kind of felt like a NaNo novel where you literally just write anything to keep the pace going and hit those 1,667 words a day so you can give yourself a tick. And hell, it keeps you reading if nothing else – parts were highly entertaining… but does a fun book mean it should win? *shrug*
This one certainly has a lot of potential for the future, that, I can say for it.
January 30, 2018
Alright. More of a 3.5 for me than a 3 but not quite high enough for me to ice the 4*. As per usual with these SPFBO finalist novels I hope to get an interview in with the author.
I will give a more thorough review once I’ve had time to think about the book a little bit, also when my wife isn’t playing Civ 6 on the laptop and I’m typing this out on my iPhone...
I enjoyed the book, I think the noir fantasy detective feel of the story is really cool and it’s fun to see with so many of the standard D&D inspired races.
First off there were a lot of editing issues with the copy I read but I hear that is or will be taken care if so that shouldn’t be a problem going forward. Also I can’t say that it was a formatting type of problem so it never really took me out of the story.
I think the second thing that I would have preferred is for it to have been a little shorter. 462 pages is a bit more than the typical detective noir(or so I believe, I must admit I don’t read a lot of the genre). The world building and character development goes on right to the end of the story, sometimes taking me out of the flow of the awesome action that is going on. I know that might sound a little odd, world building and char development is a great thing! True, but at a certain point I prefer it to just get to uninterrupted action. As I’ve described before this is my specific preference/character flaw and others might love it.
That being said the writing is solid and I liked the plot of the story. I enjoyed the main character and the rat man he’s always with. I think that the same kind of people who enjoy a good detective novel or even Jack Bloodfist, another finalist, will enjoy this book as well. At 300 pages in this was closer to a 5* review for me and if things had wrapped up in the next 50 pages or so I would have loved it. Once again it comes down to that personal choice thing again of liking things to just take off and for people to meet the pointy end of sharp objects, or magical objects in this case.
I will give a more thorough review once I’ve had time to think about the book a little bit, also when my wife isn’t playing Civ 6 on the laptop and I’m typing this out on my iPhone...
I enjoyed the book, I think the noir fantasy detective feel of the story is really cool and it’s fun to see with so many of the standard D&D inspired races.
First off there were a lot of editing issues with the copy I read but I hear that is or will be taken care if so that shouldn’t be a problem going forward. Also I can’t say that it was a formatting type of problem so it never really took me out of the story.
I think the second thing that I would have preferred is for it to have been a little shorter. 462 pages is a bit more than the typical detective noir(or so I believe, I must admit I don’t read a lot of the genre). The world building and character development goes on right to the end of the story, sometimes taking me out of the flow of the awesome action that is going on. I know that might sound a little odd, world building and char development is a great thing! True, but at a certain point I prefer it to just get to uninterrupted action. As I’ve described before this is my specific preference/character flaw and others might love it.
That being said the writing is solid and I liked the plot of the story. I enjoyed the main character and the rat man he’s always with. I think that the same kind of people who enjoy a good detective novel or even Jack Bloodfist, another finalist, will enjoy this book as well. At 300 pages in this was closer to a 5* review for me and if things had wrapped up in the next 50 pages or so I would have loved it. Once again it comes down to that personal choice thing again of liking things to just take off and for people to meet the pointy end of sharp objects, or magical objects in this case.
January 7, 2018
Are dwarfs born with beards? Or is it just the first sign of reaching puberty?
This is, I believe, only question about dwarf beard left unanswered in Chaos Trims my Beard. Beards are important. A pity I’ve never managed to grow one.
This book has insanely good title. One of the best titles ever. Also, it was chosen as Fantasy-Faction contender in SPFBO 2017 finals. Not without a reason.
Edwayn Sattler is a half-dwarf with a beard and a dead end job. One night when serving drinks to the city's rich and famous, a fiery playboy loses control of his magic and ends up lighting himself on fire. After some ill-advised heroics aided by the magic that lives in Edwayn's beard, he finds himself unemployed and socially exiled. With no other job or friends to fall back to, he signs on with an inscrutable ratman sporting a badge and a fetching hat, and together they dive beard and whiskers first into a magical murder conspiracy that threatens to consume the city.
After that things go bonkers and his easy-going life spirals into a thrilling, darkly hilarious tale of intrigue and deception.
Characters and their interactions are this book forte. Both, Ratman and Edwayne are interesting individuals. Edwayne has genuinely funny and dry sense of humor. He’s very protective of his beard. As a half-dwarf he doesn’t really fit in anywhere. Too dwarfish for humans, too human for dwarfs.
The Ratman (Venrick the Unabashed) usually speaks about himself in third person (This one). It’s not that surprising when you consider he is one of 1600 siblings in his family. Speaking this one is much easier than learning 1600 names of family members. I think that Venrick and his cop characterization is cool. There’s also a suicidal ghost entity who needs Edwayne help in committing suicide.
World-building was inventive and creative. While I enjoy the modern world with fantasy races described in the book, the way it’s introduced lacks skill at times. There’s plenty of occasional info-dumping or heavily-detailed scenes (for example describing furniture). As a result pacing feels inconsistent and goes from breakneck to sluggish.
Prose is rather simple and yet sometimes it meanders or feels juvenile. Having said that, there are more than hints of some brilliance, especially in the often-witty dialogue. Dialogue and Edwayne's self-depracating comments are, probably, the very best part of this book, although sometimes lacking in sophistication. Edwayne’s voice is humorous and enjoyable.
Sadly, there’s a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in my copy. That’s one of two reasons for my rating. It has to be said, though, that the author mentioned on his blog (two days ago) that the book was professionally edited and re-uploaded on Amazon. It’s probable that if you get this book today you won’t experience the issues I have experienced. I’m only able to judge / describe my copy and because my TBR list is long I don’t plan to reread the book just to see if all the errors were corrected. Harsh. I know.
World-building was inventive and creative. While I enjoy the modern world with fantasy races described in the book, the way it’s introduced lacks skill at times. There’s plenty of occasional info-dumping or heavily-detailed scenes (for example describing furniture). The way the story is reminiscent of old-school detective stories in which narrator/protagonist talks us through the events.
Overall, I found myself rather attached to all characters. I appreciate author’s sense of humor and creativity in putting everything together. With some solid copy and developmental editing and proofreading this book can really shine as something truly unique. My personal feeling is that cutting out 20-30 % of the text, being more to the point during certain scenes would improve the book a lot. It has lots of potential and I’m certainly interested in the author’s future work.
This is, I believe, only question about dwarf beard left unanswered in Chaos Trims my Beard. Beards are important. A pity I’ve never managed to grow one.
This book has insanely good title. One of the best titles ever. Also, it was chosen as Fantasy-Faction contender in SPFBO 2017 finals. Not without a reason.
Edwayn Sattler is a half-dwarf with a beard and a dead end job. One night when serving drinks to the city's rich and famous, a fiery playboy loses control of his magic and ends up lighting himself on fire. After some ill-advised heroics aided by the magic that lives in Edwayn's beard, he finds himself unemployed and socially exiled. With no other job or friends to fall back to, he signs on with an inscrutable ratman sporting a badge and a fetching hat, and together they dive beard and whiskers first into a magical murder conspiracy that threatens to consume the city.
After that things go bonkers and his easy-going life spirals into a thrilling, darkly hilarious tale of intrigue and deception.
Characters and their interactions are this book forte. Both, Ratman and Edwayne are interesting individuals. Edwayne has genuinely funny and dry sense of humor. He’s very protective of his beard. As a half-dwarf he doesn’t really fit in anywhere. Too dwarfish for humans, too human for dwarfs.
The Ratman (Venrick the Unabashed) usually speaks about himself in third person (This one). It’s not that surprising when you consider he is one of 1600 siblings in his family. Speaking this one is much easier than learning 1600 names of family members. I think that Venrick and his cop characterization is cool. There’s also a suicidal ghost entity who needs Edwayne help in committing suicide.
World-building was inventive and creative. While I enjoy the modern world with fantasy races described in the book, the way it’s introduced lacks skill at times. There’s plenty of occasional info-dumping or heavily-detailed scenes (for example describing furniture). As a result pacing feels inconsistent and goes from breakneck to sluggish.
Prose is rather simple and yet sometimes it meanders or feels juvenile. Having said that, there are more than hints of some brilliance, especially in the often-witty dialogue. Dialogue and Edwayne's self-depracating comments are, probably, the very best part of this book, although sometimes lacking in sophistication. Edwayne’s voice is humorous and enjoyable.
Sadly, there’s a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in my copy. That’s one of two reasons for my rating. It has to be said, though, that the author mentioned on his blog (two days ago) that the book was professionally edited and re-uploaded on Amazon. It’s probable that if you get this book today you won’t experience the issues I have experienced. I’m only able to judge / describe my copy and because my TBR list is long I don’t plan to reread the book just to see if all the errors were corrected. Harsh. I know.
World-building was inventive and creative. While I enjoy the modern world with fantasy races described in the book, the way it’s introduced lacks skill at times. There’s plenty of occasional info-dumping or heavily-detailed scenes (for example describing furniture). The way the story is reminiscent of old-school detective stories in which narrator/protagonist talks us through the events.
Overall, I found myself rather attached to all characters. I appreciate author’s sense of humor and creativity in putting everything together. With some solid copy and developmental editing and proofreading this book can really shine as something truly unique. My personal feeling is that cutting out 20-30 % of the text, being more to the point during certain scenes would improve the book a lot. It has lots of potential and I’m certainly interested in the author’s future work.
May 31, 2018
Check out my review of this for the Self Published Fantasy Blog Off (SPFBO)
http://booknest.eu/component/k2/spfbo...
An excellent quirky little tale about a dwarf who tries to do the right thing in a fantastic noir city and thus screws up his life.
http://booknest.eu/component/k2/spfbo...
An excellent quirky little tale about a dwarf who tries to do the right thing in a fantastic noir city and thus screws up his life.
January 2, 2018
I found this book original and entertaining. I'm not a fan of grimdark fantasy or novels with too much violence. The fight scenes here will make you smile as you root for our likable hero, Edwayn. The magic system and the world itself are interesting, and readers get the gist of how things work without suffering through annoying info dumps. I really enjoy stories that include other races such as dwarves or elves. They have their own unique culture but display human-like motivations and emotions. I also appreciate stories sprinkled with humor. The cast of characters in this book provide the perfect set-up to balance action and drama with humor. As for the editing issues mentioned by other reviewers, I've found worse in other SPFBO semi-finalists and finalists. Typos don't bother me as much as awkwardly worded sentences that make me stop and reword the sentence before continuing. I'm sure I'm prejudiced in favor of this book because it's the kind of fantasy I write. My own books involve mythical beings and have their share of humor. Still, I think even the most devoted grimdark fans like to read something lighter now and then, so most fantasy readers should enjoy this novel.
October 8, 2017
I only chose this novel because it was a finalist in the current SPFBO - and I liked the title.
Have to admit it took me a while to get into the story - it's a very 'told' story for the main part, and reminded me of old style detective films/novels. A 'whodunnit' with added magic, dwarves, ratmen and elementals thrown in.
The voice of the MC - half dwarf, half human Edwayne - is very strong. You definitely get to see the world through his eyes, and that world is a convincing one. (There's a lot of information about how this world came to be in Edwayne's glossary, which perhaps could've been added into the novel without feeling like an info dump to explain various aspects during the story instead of after it. Maybe that's just me wanting to know more as a reader?)
It's well written, distinctive...but was unfortunately let down in my Kindle version somewhat by numerous typos in the text. Fortunately, the story was so good, I kept reading in spite of them, but I'd like to see future novels edited to a higher standard so there is no distraction from the story or the very clever writing.
Deserves its place in the SPFBO.
Have to admit it took me a while to get into the story - it's a very 'told' story for the main part, and reminded me of old style detective films/novels. A 'whodunnit' with added magic, dwarves, ratmen and elementals thrown in.
The voice of the MC - half dwarf, half human Edwayne - is very strong. You definitely get to see the world through his eyes, and that world is a convincing one. (There's a lot of information about how this world came to be in Edwayne's glossary, which perhaps could've been added into the novel without feeling like an info dump to explain various aspects during the story instead of after it. Maybe that's just me wanting to know more as a reader?)
It's well written, distinctive...but was unfortunately let down in my Kindle version somewhat by numerous typos in the text. Fortunately, the story was so good, I kept reading in spite of them, but I'd like to see future novels edited to a higher standard so there is no distraction from the story or the very clever writing.
Deserves its place in the SPFBO.
May 2, 2017
A really snappy marriage of fantasy and noir with all of the magic and intrigue you'd expect alongside well rounded humor and depth. A must read for any fan of either genre that's sure to broaden their interest in both.
September 4, 2018
This book is doing something SO different and I demand to see more!
We kick off in the towering city of New Sketlin (built atop the city of Old Sketlin layers below ground) with our half-dwarf protagonist, Edwayn, working for a catering company as a barman for a recurring job they have for the frequent flashy parties thrown by the local viscount. Suddenly things go very wrong for him, when a patron literally dies in a fire, with Edwayn having chased the man down (flaming the whole way) he's become a prime suspect and tries to hide out.
Enter the ratman Venrick the Unabashed, who waltzes into Edwayn's life just at the wrong time. After questioning on what happened that night Venrick claims he would like to hire Edwayn for his skills - mainly the fact that Edwayn is a rational thinker and reasons through problems - to figure out why more people are catching fire. This leads them on a path of conspiracy and intrigue at all levels, where they make some friends, but mostly enemies and powerful ones at that...
For me the world was really the star of this book, I desperately want to read more in this setting. A secondary world urban fantasy, where there is a true class divide with the rich and corporate living in the towers above, soaring through the air; their city literally built on the back of the underground Old Sketlin where the poor and lower classed beings live. The technology is most fascinating, without ever diving into hard magic systems, we have ornithopters (animal shaped helicopter things?), magical elevators, crystals to record and project, spellsteel that does a variety of things, among other elements that are truly inventive. There is so much to dive into here.
The man detractor for me was really in the first half it took a bit to get going, with the plot disjointed and segmented a bit, those segments don't really come together till much later and when they do in the second half boy does everything pick up! So, I would say temper expectations in the beginning and you're in for a payoff.
We kick off in the towering city of New Sketlin (built atop the city of Old Sketlin layers below ground) with our half-dwarf protagonist, Edwayn, working for a catering company as a barman for a recurring job they have for the frequent flashy parties thrown by the local viscount. Suddenly things go very wrong for him, when a patron literally dies in a fire, with Edwayn having chased the man down (flaming the whole way) he's become a prime suspect and tries to hide out.
Enter the ratman Venrick the Unabashed, who waltzes into Edwayn's life just at the wrong time. After questioning on what happened that night Venrick claims he would like to hire Edwayn for his skills - mainly the fact that Edwayn is a rational thinker and reasons through problems - to figure out why more people are catching fire. This leads them on a path of conspiracy and intrigue at all levels, where they make some friends, but mostly enemies and powerful ones at that...
For me the world was really the star of this book, I desperately want to read more in this setting. A secondary world urban fantasy, where there is a true class divide with the rich and corporate living in the towers above, soaring through the air; their city literally built on the back of the underground Old Sketlin where the poor and lower classed beings live. The technology is most fascinating, without ever diving into hard magic systems, we have ornithopters (animal shaped helicopter things?), magical elevators, crystals to record and project, spellsteel that does a variety of things, among other elements that are truly inventive. There is so much to dive into here.
The man detractor for me was really in the first half it took a bit to get going, with the plot disjointed and segmented a bit, those segments don't really come together till much later and when they do in the second half boy does everything pick up! So, I would say temper expectations in the beginning and you're in for a payoff.
March 31, 2017
This book takes place in a futuristic fantasy world, where ratmen and ogres roam within giant city of magical steel. The main character (Edwayn) and his sidekick (Venrick) kick, punch, and magically shoot their way through a twisted mystery that seems to pull at Edwayn. He seems drawn to the action, he's just not sure why he's even involved. Of course its not the major mystery but his character development is driven by the plot. I found the overall mystery to be engaging and intriguing. It is a well constructed novel and it reads quickly. I was also surprised to find at just how funny some of the scenes could be. I was a bit skeptical of a "fantasy noir" at first, but this really grabbed me and was a very enjoyable read.
May 15, 2018
Chaos Trims My Beard has undoubtedly got one of the freshest names in fantasy fiction. Right from the outset you know you're getting something a bit weird and quirky. This is not 'serious' fantasy. This is 'fun' fantasy. That's not to say it's not serious at times, or that it doesn't deal with serious issues, but there is an undeniable undercurrent of absurd humour running through it. And for the most part it really works.
Chaos is a noir style novel told entirely in first person from the perspective of one Sandival Beardface... no, wait. That's his alias. Edwayn Sattler. He's a half-dwarf with a mighty beard. All dwarves are born with their beards and it's something of a point of pride for them. He hides a variety of magical gadgets within the thick braids of his beard and deploys them with sometimes reckless abandon. After a bar-tending gig go somewhat awry, Beardface finds himself thrust into a complex plot that threatens to throw society into chaos... but more importantly, the plot threatens his life and his beard. Somewhat reluctantly, Beardface investigates the situation along with a dual pistol wielding rat-man and a dame made entirely out of air.
I'll point this out right now. The plot is complex. It doesn't exactly start so, but revelations come thick and fast towards the end and certainly left my head spinning. In fact I feel the revelations and the resulting motivations of the 'bad guys' could have used a bit of work. In a fast paced finale full of action I found myself having to re-read bits to try and figure out what it all meant. It kinda pulled me out of the excitement of it all.
The world is a trope ridden cliche of fun and wonder. There are all your basic fantasy races, and they embrace their tropes with gusto. Dwarves love their beards and their forges. Elves are poncy long-lived elitests. Orcs have a thing for axes. Chaos has no shame in playing on the tropes, but always does something a little fresh with them that make them stand out in a good way. A dwarf can never be burned by their own beard!
But the world itself is not typical fantasy. It's more like a semi-cyberpunk future version of fantasy. The book is set in a highrise city called New Sketlin and there used to be technology in the world, but somewhere along the line it was pretty much replaced by magic. There's fridgefreezers that run on magic, complete with tiny ball of semi-sentient elemental ice that just loves to ruin food with freezer burn. There's televisions that run on magic. Lots of modern day tech but all with a magic lean to it. It makes learning about the world quite fun, though there are a couple of times it seems a little overdone.
Character-wise, there are some really fun characters in the book and some that just fall flat. Edwayn himself is your typical noir cliche. He's a world-weary drunkard with a penchant for being an arsehole, but a loyal heart of gold hidden somewhere underneath it all. He's exactly what the story needs to drive forward, but that's about all he was to me. I really enjoyed the rat-man, Venrick the Unabashed. He had interesting speech patterns that helped bring his characters to life, there was a definite air of the gunslinger trope about him, and I love skaven. Doomwheels and Grey Seers and Jezzails... nope, I'm getting off topic here. Back to the book.
The pacing hurt the book. The narrative quite often gets bogged down with descriptions and at those times the story grinds to a halt while the world building takes over. Now the world building is interesting and fun, but it's often delivered in such a dry fashion that makes it tedious. There were multiple points where after a few pages of reading nothing but the description of a magically enhanced skyscraper, that I was bored enough to put the book down and go in search of a cup of tea (that's what we English folk do when bored... we make tea). Some of the descriptions were reaching a little far as well, trying too hard to be comical, and it just didn't work at those times.
Overall I have to say Chaos Trims My Beard was a fun read full of some refreshing takes on old ideas. The rat-man's multi-purpose guns were definitely one of my favourites. So I'm giving Chaos a solid 3 stars. It's certainly not my usual reading fare, and it's far from perfect, but it is beard-strokingly fun!
Chaos is a noir style novel told entirely in first person from the perspective of one Sandival Beardface... no, wait. That's his alias. Edwayn Sattler. He's a half-dwarf with a mighty beard. All dwarves are born with their beards and it's something of a point of pride for them. He hides a variety of magical gadgets within the thick braids of his beard and deploys them with sometimes reckless abandon. After a bar-tending gig go somewhat awry, Beardface finds himself thrust into a complex plot that threatens to throw society into chaos... but more importantly, the plot threatens his life and his beard. Somewhat reluctantly, Beardface investigates the situation along with a dual pistol wielding rat-man and a dame made entirely out of air.
I'll point this out right now. The plot is complex. It doesn't exactly start so, but revelations come thick and fast towards the end and certainly left my head spinning. In fact I feel the revelations and the resulting motivations of the 'bad guys' could have used a bit of work. In a fast paced finale full of action I found myself having to re-read bits to try and figure out what it all meant. It kinda pulled me out of the excitement of it all.
The world is a trope ridden cliche of fun and wonder. There are all your basic fantasy races, and they embrace their tropes with gusto. Dwarves love their beards and their forges. Elves are poncy long-lived elitests. Orcs have a thing for axes. Chaos has no shame in playing on the tropes, but always does something a little fresh with them that make them stand out in a good way. A dwarf can never be burned by their own beard!
But the world itself is not typical fantasy. It's more like a semi-cyberpunk future version of fantasy. The book is set in a highrise city called New Sketlin and there used to be technology in the world, but somewhere along the line it was pretty much replaced by magic. There's fridgefreezers that run on magic, complete with tiny ball of semi-sentient elemental ice that just loves to ruin food with freezer burn. There's televisions that run on magic. Lots of modern day tech but all with a magic lean to it. It makes learning about the world quite fun, though there are a couple of times it seems a little overdone.
Character-wise, there are some really fun characters in the book and some that just fall flat. Edwayn himself is your typical noir cliche. He's a world-weary drunkard with a penchant for being an arsehole, but a loyal heart of gold hidden somewhere underneath it all. He's exactly what the story needs to drive forward, but that's about all he was to me. I really enjoyed the rat-man, Venrick the Unabashed. He had interesting speech patterns that helped bring his characters to life, there was a definite air of the gunslinger trope about him, and I love skaven. Doomwheels and Grey Seers and Jezzails... nope, I'm getting off topic here. Back to the book.
The pacing hurt the book. The narrative quite often gets bogged down with descriptions and at those times the story grinds to a halt while the world building takes over. Now the world building is interesting and fun, but it's often delivered in such a dry fashion that makes it tedious. There were multiple points where after a few pages of reading nothing but the description of a magically enhanced skyscraper, that I was bored enough to put the book down and go in search of a cup of tea (that's what we English folk do when bored... we make tea). Some of the descriptions were reaching a little far as well, trying too hard to be comical, and it just didn't work at those times.
Overall I have to say Chaos Trims My Beard was a fun read full of some refreshing takes on old ideas. The rat-man's multi-purpose guns were definitely one of my favourites. So I'm giving Chaos a solid 3 stars. It's certainly not my usual reading fare, and it's far from perfect, but it is beard-strokingly fun!
January 8, 2018
This was pretty good! It is not often you get a dwarf and a ratman as the main characters in a novel and they were well written and interesting. I also liked the setting, which is feels very "urban fantasy" in a proper fantasy world... high magic but with skyscrapers and vehicles. I wish I could go for a drink at the Bawdville, it sounds like my kind of place. Even if they serve brunch on the weekends.
August 20, 2024
I picked this up because of a recommendation I found while looking for dwarf centric stories. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but sarcastic DNDesque world noir also sounded good.
This one is a little bit hard to pin down. There are individual moments, elements, plot points, and lines that I really enjoyed. But the work as a whole is a bit of a mess. I told a friend this felt like something we would write together, and that still feels true. It’s like a collection of riffs that were not fully edited into a cohesive story. Too many holes and random tacked on bits.
Ultimately, I did enjoy myself. There was an underlining irreverent sarcastic humor that I enjoy.
This one is a little bit hard to pin down. There are individual moments, elements, plot points, and lines that I really enjoyed. But the work as a whole is a bit of a mess. I told a friend this felt like something we would write together, and that still feels true. It’s like a collection of riffs that were not fully edited into a cohesive story. Too many holes and random tacked on bits.
Ultimately, I did enjoy myself. There was an underlining irreverent sarcastic humor that I enjoy.
November 8, 2021
Setting:
The world we have here is both quite modern and quite magical. Most things we would think of as modern technology exist but they work off magic. Buildings don’t have elevators, they have tunnels of magic wind that float you to a floor you say out loud. TVs exist but they work with magical dust and crystals. Helicopters exist but just like TVs, they work off magic. Various races populate the city of New Sketlin. We have dwarves, elves, ratmen, and others.
Characters:
Edwayn: Our lead is a half-dwarf half-human who seems to essentially be perpetually down on his luck. He barely makes ends meet by taking a series of odd, not always legal jobs and has a crappy rundown apartment where he lives alone getting drunk as frequently as possible.
Venrick: Venrick is an anthropomorphic ratman who happens to be a police officer. Venrick is quite plainingly more interested in getting things done rather than doing things 100% by the rules.
Elara: Elara has had the unfortunate happening of losing her physical form and becoming made of wind. It’s a thing that happens sometimes. She thoroughly dislikes this change and wishes to die so that her now cursed existence can come to an end.
Plot:
Edwayn has picked up a job waiting tables and tending the bar at a fancy gettogether hosted by one of the town's elite. While at the party he witnesses something quite unusual; a man turns into fire. The man does not simply burst into fire, he actually becomes fire. Our hero has something of an issue with fire and decides to try and prevent anyone else at the party getting hurt. Doing so attracts no small amount of attention to him, chiefly from Venrick who recruits Edwayn to help out with the mystery of why this keeps happening. Apparently this guy bursting into flames was not an isolated incident.
My Thoughts:
The biggest strength of this work is undoubtedly its world building. The author has gone through the effort of fleshing out the world and building verisimilitude. This feels like it really is a city full of different races that runs on magic.
The mystery of precisely what is going on is not one the reader will be able to puzzle out ahead of time and, personally, the ultimate justification for everything didn’t entirely make sense.
One other minor gripe is that the very start of the book sets up a framing device of Edwayn and Venrick at some time in the future and Venrick is having Edwayn tell the story of everything that has gone down. This would be fine only that it’s never brought up again and winds up feeling somewhat unrelated to the rest of the events of the story. It’s odd that this bit was included at all given how disconnected and largely unnecessary it is to everything else that happens.
Despite these complaints the book as a whole is quite decent and definitely readable. This does not suffer from the insufficient editing that seems to stubbornly cling to many self-published works. The author wrote a clean, self-contained story.
The world we have here is both quite modern and quite magical. Most things we would think of as modern technology exist but they work off magic. Buildings don’t have elevators, they have tunnels of magic wind that float you to a floor you say out loud. TVs exist but they work with magical dust and crystals. Helicopters exist but just like TVs, they work off magic. Various races populate the city of New Sketlin. We have dwarves, elves, ratmen, and others.
Characters:
Edwayn: Our lead is a half-dwarf half-human who seems to essentially be perpetually down on his luck. He barely makes ends meet by taking a series of odd, not always legal jobs and has a crappy rundown apartment where he lives alone getting drunk as frequently as possible.
Venrick: Venrick is an anthropomorphic ratman who happens to be a police officer. Venrick is quite plainingly more interested in getting things done rather than doing things 100% by the rules.
Elara: Elara has had the unfortunate happening of losing her physical form and becoming made of wind. It’s a thing that happens sometimes. She thoroughly dislikes this change and wishes to die so that her now cursed existence can come to an end.
Plot:
Edwayn has picked up a job waiting tables and tending the bar at a fancy gettogether hosted by one of the town's elite. While at the party he witnesses something quite unusual; a man turns into fire. The man does not simply burst into fire, he actually becomes fire. Our hero has something of an issue with fire and decides to try and prevent anyone else at the party getting hurt. Doing so attracts no small amount of attention to him, chiefly from Venrick who recruits Edwayn to help out with the mystery of why this keeps happening. Apparently this guy bursting into flames was not an isolated incident.
My Thoughts:
The biggest strength of this work is undoubtedly its world building. The author has gone through the effort of fleshing out the world and building verisimilitude. This feels like it really is a city full of different races that runs on magic.
The mystery of precisely what is going on is not one the reader will be able to puzzle out ahead of time and, personally, the ultimate justification for everything didn’t entirely make sense.
One other minor gripe is that the very start of the book sets up a framing device of Edwayn and Venrick at some time in the future and Venrick is having Edwayn tell the story of everything that has gone down. This would be fine only that it’s never brought up again and winds up feeling somewhat unrelated to the rest of the events of the story. It’s odd that this bit was included at all given how disconnected and largely unnecessary it is to everything else that happens.
Despite these complaints the book as a whole is quite decent and definitely readable. This does not suffer from the insufficient editing that seems to stubbornly cling to many self-published works. The author wrote a clean, self-contained story.
April 28, 2018
Read the review over at Fantasy Book Critic (along with 3 other mini-reviews)
OVERVIEW/ANALYSIS: Chaos Trims My Beard is an intriguing finalist and one which created a lot of discussions among the judges of Fantasy Faction. After reading it, I can see why it was selected as the finalist but also why it could have gone either way.
Chaos Trims My Beard is a nice mix of noir, fantasy and dark humor which will not be to everyone’s tastes. What also doesn’t help is that the author’s style of writing takes a while to get used to. This story was one which I enjoyed for the aspects that I enjoy in the fantasy genre. It had the wise-cracking humor present in urban fantasy and thrillers but also the wild, magical side present in its world. The story’s main narrator is certainly the highlight of the story and the humor is a close second. The story is hinged on these two factors and that’s what I believe its fans will enjoy.
For me this was a mixed bag as while I did enjoy those aspects, the story overall and its weird quotient wasn’t something that made me take notice of it. I appreciated the author’s efforts but they couldn’t entice me to care much more. It’s a debut that I wish was a bit more polished and the copy I had received had very few typos which is always appreciated. The main character is certainly a striking one and hopefully fans will be checking this book out. I wish Brett Herman all the very best and I will be interested to see what he writes about next.
September 2, 2018
I chose this for my ugly cover challenge. Didn't much like the book. The book was excessively wordy and had a lot of typos. The story involved a dwarf, a ratman, elves, mages and all sorts of magical creatures. But I wasn't certain even at the end of the book what the plot was. It was never really explained well. Wouldn't recommend this.
August 28, 2020
Did not get my attention. Didn't like the style of writing.
May 7, 2021
I loved the story, characters, world building and humor. I'm definitely glad to have read this. Five stars from this easy to please reader.
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