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We Have Lost #3

We Have Lost The Coffee

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London, 2045. Three months into the Coffee Wars and Britain’s caffeine supplies are at critical levels. Brits are drinking even more tea than usual, keeping a stiff upper lip and praying for an end to it all. A secret Government coffee stockpile could save the day...but then mysteriously disappears overnight.

One man is asked to unravel the missing-coffee mystery. His name is Pond. Howie Pond. And he’s in desperate need of a triple espresso. Meanwhile, his journalist wife, Britt, is hunting royal fugitive Emma Windsor on the streets of the capital.

Can Howie save the British Republic from caffeine-starved chaos? Will the runaway royal be found? And just what will desperate coffee drinkers do for their next caffeine fix? Find out, in Paul Mathews’ latest comedy-thriller set in the Britain of the future...

'We Have Lost The Coffee' is packed with dry British humour, political satire, dozens of comedy characters and enough coffee jokes to keep you awake all night. It's full of crazy action and adventure in London, and beyond, and is guaranteed to set your pulse racing faster than a quadruple espresso.

So, join Howie, Britt and friends – as well as some enemies – as you travel forward in time to 2040s London.

325 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 28, 2017

1205 people are currently reading
299 people want to read

About the author

Paul Mathews

13 books56 followers
Paul Mathews is a quite funny British guy whose sharp, satirical - often surreal - sense of humour has been honed during half a century of not taking life too seriously. He gains inspiration from his love of good food, tea, four-legged animals & the quirks and quibbles of British life. Visit his website at www.quitefunnyguy.com. Or not. Whatever.

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5 stars
317 (30%)
4 stars
384 (37%)
3 stars
203 (19%)
2 stars
82 (8%)
1 star
38 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
Profile Image for Susan Hampson.
1,521 reviews69 followers
July 2, 2017
This is just a funny and really tongue in cheek look into the future, well London 2045 to be precise.  The Royal family don’t head the country anymore and we have a bit of a dodgy president. That isn’t the news of the day though the country is facing one of its biggest problems this century, the coffee supplies have stopped and most of the population is facing huge withdrawal symptoms for their normal shot of expresso. One thing that keeps flowing is the continual one lined dry humour that did keep me giggling.
Howie Pond is a civil servant working in the offices located in the former Buckingham Palace where after a series of events he is called upon to investigate who has stolen a secret supply of coffee. Love the play on words here, of Howie Pond’s name and the instant connecting with another famous secret agent. It is a bizarre investigation with some very funny characters. At times it made me gag at the lengths people would go to in order to seek that coffee high. My cup of tea will never taste the same again!
There two stories running side by side in this book the other being of Howie’s wife Britt, a journalist on the trail of Emma Windsor, a former member of the Royal family and now fugitive. It all becomes a madcap story.
This is the third book in the series of ‘We have lost the…..’ books although this is the first one that I have read. This book gave me laughs and a couple of mysteries to solve but I felt it was always going to have that light read feel about it, nothing heavy of gory. Just entertainment and that is what it gave me. I really did enjoy the humour in this book which was dry, corny and that silliness that you have to laugh at. In my mind Rowan Atkinson was playing the role of Howie, more than the usual James Bonds I am use to.  It was a perfect relaxing in the sun read for me.
I received an ARC of this book but my review is purely voluntary
Profile Image for Nerdish Mum.
400 reviews34 followers
June 25, 2017
We Have Lost The Coffee is the third book in the "We Have Lost" series by Paul Mathews. Though you don't have to have read the previous two books to have read this, its always good to have back ground information and character development. And well, they're good books!

Howie Pond is a brilliant character, I love his obsession with being a secret agent and I found myself reading his voice in the style of Sean Connery. "His name is Pond, Howie Pond". His wit and charm definitely won me over and I laughed out loud at more than one point throughout the book.

I feel the characters are all really strong and I really liked Howie's wife, Britt. She's a strong and independent woman. Britt and Howie work really well together and I think of them as a dynamic duo.

The mix of mystery and comedy go together well. I only discovered this genre last year and I'm really glad that I did as I enjoy laughing along with the characters while trying to solve mysteries, Paul Mathews has taken a well loved genre and has added a layer of fun and lightness to it that complements it and is thoroughly entertaining.

Being set in 2045 means that the story is far enough in the future to play around with things, like having a coffee war, but everything else is recognisable. It gives the author more freedom with how things work without it being out of the ordinary for the reader.

As to the story, with it being a mystery I don't want to say too much as I don't want to spoil what happens, but it is extremely well written and planned out and I enjoyed both story lines of the missing coffee and the missing royal, there was enough going on without it being over whelming.

A really enjoyable and funny read and one I'd recommend, especially if you love crime or mystery books but are in the mood for something a little lighter for a change.

Overall a great book.
Profile Image for Simon Leonard.
510 reviews9 followers
June 28, 2017
this is the first book of Paul's I have read, although I have bought the other two so will be reading them shortly as I thought this book was well written. The main characters are believable even if the premise is a bit silly. the story follows them a as they try to find out who stole the last of the coffee in the UK. the story is set in the near future and Paul definitely makes the most of this by changing things slightly to fit the story, such as the UK having a president.

this book is well worth a read if you want a light hearted easy comedy.
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
696 reviews57 followers
August 11, 2020
This was funny. Secret Agent Pond is certainly no 007: he doesn’t like adventure, he no match for anyone in a fight, he’s afraid of amorous women, and he’s really having a hard time saving the world without his triple-espresso. Yes, this caffeine-addicted pushover is the unwilling hero of this little drama, and I found myself rooting for him the whole way. His wife Britt, an investigative journalist, goes on an adventure of her own. Even though she gets in over her head at times, her quick thinking is a joy to behold.

Full disclosure: I didn’t read the first two books in the series, and I think if I had, I would have enjoyed this one even more. As it is, it’s not wonderful as a standalone: it’s set in the future, after a revolution has changed Britain’s government, and without the first two novels to explain things, I found the political situation in this story more confusing than anything. That doesn’t affect my rating at all, since it’s certainly not the author’s fault. But be aware, going in, that this book starts you in the middle. That said, even if I didn’t understand it all, I enjoyed it immensely. I just laughed and laughed while reading this. It’s perfect for coffee-lovers!

Some things I liked:
- Strong characters, both male and female, who are competent and powerful
- People working together. Howie is helped by a colleague who is a woman, while Britt (Howie’s wife) teams up with a friend (a man) to help her chase a criminal. I especially liked two things: 1) There is absolutely no romantic tension between Britt and her friend, or between Howie and his colleague; and 2) There is no “battle of the sexes” either. It’s just people working together and being extraordinary capable at what they do.
- The humor. This book is SO funny, and the coffee jokes were gold.
Profile Image for Mayda.
3,839 reviews65 followers
August 5, 2020
This rather unusual mystery takes place in a futuristic London. The royals are out and the country has a president. While this book can be read as a stand-alone, not having the background on the state of things could be a mite confusing. The title grabbed my interest, and I bypassed the first two books in the series. Catching up on things wasn’t too difficult, but it would have been better to read from the beginning of the series. In this novel, the country is in a state of coffee deprivation, and Howie Pond is trying to locate the government’s secret store that has gone missing. Meanwhile, his journalist wife Britt is trying to locate her own missing party: one of the royals is now a runaway fugitive. There’s a scary moment or two and plenty of humor in this adventure. Just make sure you have a cup of coffee, and keep your eyes open, because you never know. . .
Profile Image for Between The Pages (Gemma M) .
1,357 reviews28 followers
July 24, 2017
What would you do if there was a coffee shortage? I would go mental!
We Have Lost The Coffee is book number three in the We Have Lost series but reads well as a standalone. This story is set in the future of 2045 in London, it is a lighthearted read with funny parts throughout. This is very different from what I usually read but, I enjoyed it nevertheless. It is easy to read and contains short chapters. I loved the characters and I love London. But I hope to god there will never be a coffee shortage. I would recommend this story to you all, very different. Refreshing from the genres I usually read. I awarded a fair four stars!
16 reviews
August 20, 2017
I always enjoy stumbling upon a new author that I can count on for entertainment and Paul Mathews is my latest find. I enjoy his characters and believe me I know a thing or two about character development (See "The Liberty Launch" (The stupid shall be punished) first of my seven book series on Kindle) and the Ponds are first rate. I'm looking forward to your next gem.
14 reviews
August 20, 2017
Excellent read and quite funny. I am willing to bet we are getting a glimpse of England in the future. The humor is great and I look forward to reading some of his other writings.
33 reviews
July 16, 2017
Really not very funny

Apparently very funny in the UK means Mr Bean. So if Thatcher your cuppa, drink the missing coffee. Dull characters drinking to excess and idiot plots abound. Some call it wimsy. I miss Wodehouse.
8 reviews
August 19, 2017
I have been intrigued by the book name, so have bought it immediately. I can't imagine morning or day routine without cup of good coffee, so I really sympathized to the main characters. Book was easy to read for me as non-English speaker, I enjoyed humor, characters, situations. I have bought another two books from the series, hope they would be as good as this one.

So I recommend to read this book, especially with a good cup of coffee.
Profile Image for VB.
16 reviews
September 11, 2017
I enjoyed this book , the comedy I found wasn't trying to hard just flowed naturally with the story. I haven't read the previous two books but didn't feel lost while reading this one. He brought you into their world nicely, even if this was the first book you read in the series. It was a light easy read if you aren't looking for something really serious to curl up with.
Profile Image for Erica Robyn Metcalf.
1,342 reviews107 followers
Read
June 28, 2017
DNF.

I started reading this book for a book blogger tour. Right from the start, I just couldn't get into it. The premise of the book was interesting. Some of the humor made me laugh. But I was just so bored. I got to the halfway point and bailed.
232 reviews
November 6, 2017
Clever presentation. Agreeing or disagreeing with the unspoken politic shadowing the story isn't the reason to accept or reject the book. Are the characters imaginary? Are the characters real? It's tongue in cheek. It's fun. Well done. Enjoy the look. I'm glad I've discovered Paul Mathews.
2 reviews1 follower
November 3, 2017
Worth Reading

This is a fast and easy book to read. It is set in the year 2045. Two twisty plots on a futuristic world. I could not put it down.
865 reviews2 followers
November 11, 2017
What? I can't give this piece of total drek less than one star? I couldn't even give it 50 pages. It was unreadable. PLEASE don't imagine I paid for this - it was a loaner from Amazon.
Profile Image for Annette.
403 reviews7 followers
April 30, 2018
Always good reading and funny

I love Paul's stories, I feel Britt and Howie as my friends, I'm so grateful Paul imagination is working on more books. I don't like coffee but I like the way Howie likes it. I'm looking forward how president Winner keeps on the president chair, so funny. Thanks again for your writing work Paul.
Profile Image for Jae B.
32 reviews1 follower
January 22, 2018
It’s the near apocalyptic time in future Britain. Caffeine is in such scarce supply, that citizens have begun resorting to theft and deception just to get a whiff of their favorite beverage. And if the situation was not bad enough, someone has managed to break into the heavily-guarded national coffee reserves and steal the only beans the country has left. Now solving this bitter crime has fallen on the shoulders of one coffee-starved investigator.

This is a great, light read. It’s comical and brilliant. A comedy-mystery that will keep you yearning to read more. Though this is the third book in the series, I did not feel that it was necessary to have read the previous two books in order to understand the characters and the story line.

I highly recommend this book if you’re in the mood for an entertaining who-done-it.
Profile Image for Sandra.
213 reviews
July 18, 2017
I kept going, wanting to laugh and enjoy this, all the way to Chapter 17 before I just gave up.
The lack of coffee, foul taste of substitutes, and unexplained absence of English Breakfast tea is laid on far too thick, then pounded in again...
With some editing and tightening up it might be a short fast entertaining read, but ... it does not quite make it. The absurd needs to lightened up with a bit more cleverness, and be a wee bit more convincing in between the most preposterous plot lines.
Too bad :-(
Profile Image for Taisfrozi.
38 reviews
February 7, 2018
Light fun relaxing

As a coffee lover I was attracted by the title of this book. What a tragedy will that be a nation to run out of coffee? This must be a very ugly end to any country.
So I’ve got the book and enjoyed the journey throughout it.
It’s good to know that someone else in this world understands the importance of having “proper” cups in life.
51 reviews2 followers
January 11, 2020
I just loved this book!

I was intrigued by the title of this book, since tea is the preferred beverage of England. What a marvelous writer Paul Mathews is! I'm in awe of how well written the dialogue is & how wonderfully the characters were developed. Absolutely fantastic book! Very highly recommended!!
Profile Image for Christy.
284 reviews
October 18, 2017
Amateurish writing but cute and fun projections of what it will be like in 2045
Profile Image for Anastasia.
63 reviews
February 15, 2018
This book took a while to read. I loved how the plot slowly developed, then it ran full-steam ahead downhill! I could not put it down. I am an avid coffee drinker myself and this book put all my nightmares into one scenario. Well done!
Profile Image for Kerry Sharp.
Author 5 books5 followers
December 8, 2019
Imagine life without coffee?

Succeeds in funny without dipping into the rediculous. A light hearted but pacy journey through the coffee wars.
Despite its ligheartedness the characters do achieve some dimension, we know who they are this aids the telling
43 reviews2 followers
April 17, 2020
Get your coffee ready

Like the other books this was a great read. There were many twists and turns. Finding out how the coffee went missing was a big surprise. I have loved all the books so far. Now I'm on to the dogs.

Hhhawa's.

Profile Image for Shelagh.
147 reviews1 follower
September 1, 2017
Paul really had to stretch this book at the end. It was like reading a college assignment where the teacher was like "it MUST be 210 pages, not 180" Ugh.
7 reviews1 follower
March 25, 2018
Coffee crazy

As a coffee ☕ lover the idea of a country without mugs of coffee would be a terrible fate. I felt Howie's pain as he searched for the missing brew.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews

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