باخ، بتهوون و باقی بر و بچه‌ها

by David W. Barber, پیام روشن

تاریخ بسیار مختصر و به همان اندازه مفید موسیقی غرب که در آن، به زبان طنز، دربارهٔ برخی از موسیقیدانان مهم این موسیقی، از جمله باخ، بتهوون، پالسترینا، واگنر، برامس، موتسارت و استراوینسکی مطالبی خواندنی ارائه می‌شود. لحن کتاب، بسیار متفاوت با همهٔ منابعی که تاکنون از این مبحث در ایران ترجمه شده است، عمداً از لحن رمانتیک و ستایش آمیز معمول دربارهٔ «بزرگان» موسیقی اجتناب می کند. با وجود صیغهٔ طنز شدید، به  قول آنتونی بِرجِس، که مقدمه‌ای (باز هم طنزآمیز) بر کتاب نوشته است، همهٔ گفته‌های مؤلف کاملاً با واقعیات تاریخی مطابقت می‌کنند.

Genres: Music, Nonfiction, History, Humor, Biography, Classical Music, Biography Memoir

134 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1986

About the author

David W. Barber is a journalist and musician and the author of more than a dozen books of music (including Accidentals on Purpose; Bach, Beethoven and the Boys; When the Fat Lady Sings; and Getting a Handel on Messiah) and literature (including Quotable Sherlock, Quotable Alice and Atonement and other stories). Formerly a writer and entertainment editor of The Kingston Whig-Standard, editor of Broadcast Week magazine at the Toronto Globe and Mail and the assistant editor of arts and life for Postmedia newspapers, he is currently a freelance writer, editor, musician and composer. As a composer, his works include two symphonies, a jazz mass based on the music of Dave Brubeck, a Requiem, several short choral and chamber works and various vocal-jazz songs and arrangements. He sings with the Toronto Chamber Choir and various other choirs on occasion. In a varied career, among his more interesting jobs have been short stints as a roadie for Pope John Paul II, a publicist for Prince Rainier of Monaco and a backup singer for Avril Lavigne.

Learn about his other books at IndentPublishing.com

Reviews

[David Barber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to everyone who has made BBB such a success!

And yes, what I wrote was to the best of my knowledge (and to my research) the truth!

My books are now being republished under www.IndentPublishing.com and new and revised editions are available on Amazon Kindle, KOBO and through online stores around the world! (amazon.com / amazon.uk to name a few).

You can send me an email anytime at dbarber@indentpublishing.com or to my publisher at jlauzon@indentpublishing.com.

I look forward to hearing from you and if you are a music teacher or music professor I would love to help you to promote classical music learning in whatever way I can.

Thanks again,

David W. Barber
Toronto
September 2013

[نیما اکبرخانی · Rating 5 out of 5]

خیلی خوش گذشت .
برای کسی مثل من که از تاریخ موسیقی رسما هیچی نمی دونست ‍پر بود از مطالب جدید و جالب که با قلم واقعا طناز این نویسنده /دیوانه ترکیب شده بود . واقعا بارها و بارها وسط خوندنش احساس کردم نویسنده دیوانه بوده و از طرف دیگه اینکه براش نوشتن این کتاب چقدر لذت بخش بوده رو شما هم می تونید حس کنید .
اگر مثل من چیزی حالیتون نیست از دستش ندید من به شخصه تشویق شدم که یکی دوتا اثر دیگه ای رو هم که ایشون تو زمینه تاریخ موسیقی نوشته برم بخونم .
خیلی خوب و مفرح بود .

[Ehsan · Rating 2 out of 5]

زبان طنز این اثر، خواننده‌ای رو که در مورد تاریخ موسیقی کلاسیک اطلاعاتی نداره، تحت تاثیر قرار میده و به نظرم این نکته مثبتیه چون می‌تونه باعث بشه کسی جذب این موضوع و همین‌طور موسیقی کلاسیک بشه.
اما اثری به شدت ناقص توی این موضوعه و نویسنده نام خیلی از آهنگسازان مطرح و تاثیر‌گذار موسیقی کلاسیک‌ رو از قلم انداخته. به نظرم اگه کسی می‌خواد به طور جدی در مورد تاریخ موسیقی کلاسیک مطالعه کنه، این کتاب انتخاب خوبی نیست.

[مهسا · Rating 2 out of 5]

مسخره بود

[Jadwiga · Rating 1 out of 5]

Niczego ciekawego jeśli chodzi o samą muzykę w tej książce się nie znajdzie. Jest to jedynie zbiór krótkich, komicznych (w zamyśle autora) notatek biograficznych wybranych muzyków. Nie ma nawet wzmianek o tym co dana osoba wniosła do muzyki, a jedynie z kim i ile razy spała i jakie miała dziwactwa. Wszystko okraszone bardzo topornym humorem, który prawdę mówiąc strasznie mnie irytował. Spodziewałam się po tej książce, że prosty sposób pozwoli ona czytelnikowi poznać dzieje muzyki i dokonania kolejnych kompozytorów. Nic z tego. Co więcej,bardzo irytujące jest w niej to, że autor sprawia wrażenie, iż wie o wiele więcej na temat muzyki, jednak z "głupiutkim" czytelnikiem nie będzie się tym dzielił, ograniczy się tylko do nudnych faktów biograficznych i pseudo śmiesznych komentarzy na temat życia muzyków.

[مجید اسطیری · Rating 1 out of 5]

تاریخ موسیقی آن طور که نباید تدریس شود!

پول تان را برای خریدن این مزخرف دور نریزید و اگر خیلی دوست دارید بدانید موتسارت چند تا معشوقه داشت و ویوالدی در چه شهری متولد شد صفحه ویکی پدیای این آهنگسازان را بخوانید.

[Don Libes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Cute book but with excessive focus on humor and trivia which hurt the overall coherency an readability. And I really don't like his style of footnotes. I found myself either looking carefully at every word to see if there was a footnote marker OR, if I'd reached the end of the page somehow having missed a reference to a footnote, I'd have to laboriously scan the entire page again for the marker.

Update:

The humor is lame. I stopped reading the footnotes entirely and I realize now that the main text is no different. Mounds and mounds of childish humor that has nothing to do with the content. I'm lowering my rating to one star.

I'm convinced this book is written for 8-10 year olds - and even then I'm not sure they would find the humor good enough to keep slogging through it. And the content is probably a little too hard for that age. (What child is going to care about all the places Bach lived?) And he makes useless references to other things without explanation. And without actual tracks to listen to, this book is near useless.

[lysslyss · Rating 4 out of 5]

One word:

HUH!?

Two words:

NO WAY!!

Three words:

Is that true?

Four words:

That CAN'T be true!


This book was borderline crazy and comical. Some of the ridiculous ideas and habits of respected composers and musicians were more than hard to believe. I mean, DID Beethoven REALLY saw the legs off of his pianos so he could sit on the floor and feel the vibrations?

Did Mozart at age 7 really propose to Marie Antoinette?

And seriously... was Tchaikovsky weird enough to seriously hold his head up while he composed because he we afraid it would fall off? And the trying to give himself pneumonia by standing in a river in the winter part is just plain, like... WHAT?!

This book is hilarious, and I know that SOME of it is true. But it's written to be funny. In fact, I bet Jerry Seinfeld could have written this one.

[ElizabethRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book when I graduated from college with a music degree. Many of my fellow graduates also purchased it. We actually bought a copy for our music history teacher who would appreciate the humor in this book (he was Jewish, sarcastic, clever no had a habit of giving the Hitler salute whenever Wagner was mentioned). It's a fun read and I find I agree with many of the things the author says. If you are new to music history or you are an expert but bored with the same old narratives I highly suggest this read. The footnotes totally make the book that much better!

[Ali Reza Rahiminia · Rating 4 out of 5]

به گمانم بد نيست گاهي هم بتهوون ( يا شايد بيتهوفن) ، باخ و بقيه را از وراي ديدگاه رايج كه خيلي رسمي و عصا قورت داده است ، ببينيم. شخصا براي من جالب بود كه بتهوون به شوخيهاي شهرستاني علاقه داشته ، يا مثلا چايكوفسكي يك دستي رهبري مي كرده. كتاب را كه بخوانيد براي شما هم نكته هاي جالبي روشن مي شود. اگرچه نويسنده كاملا هم بي غرض ننوشته و تا توانسته از اپرا بد گفته ( كه در واقع خيلي هم بيراه نيست!) اما مطالب را خيلي شيرين و روان و با طنز خاصي كه بخشي از لطفش در ترجمه از بين رفته، بيان كرده.

[Nastaran · Rating 3 out of 5]

برای کسی که هیچ چیزی از تاریخ موسیقی نمی‌داند کتاب خوبی است اما اطلاعات مفید کمی دارد و بیشتر خواننده را با سال و فضای زندگی آهنگساز ها آشنا می‌کند. انتظار داشتم بامزه‌تر و جذابتر باشد.

[Sogol torabi · Rating 3 out of 5]

به نظرم این کتاب برای آشنا شدن نوجوان‌ها با دنیای موسیقی کلایسک و تاریخ اون و همچنین برای کسانی که می‌خوان یک سری اطلاعات جامع و کلی از تاریخ موسیقی کلاسیک به دست بیارند مفیده. طنز نویسنده باعث میشه که خوندن کتاب سرگرم‌کننده بشه. ولی در مجموع کتاب جامعی نیست و نمیشه به عنوان یک رفرنس خوب بهش نگاه نکرد. کتاب آشنایی با موسیقی کلاسیک کتاب خیلی بهتر و جامع‌تریه.

[Vicki · Rating 1 out of 5]

Would recommend for a teenager interested in music history or an adult who knows very little about music history that doesn't mind reading a style that sounds like a perpetually distracted person. Would not recommend to anyone who already knows anything about music history because you won't learn much, though the stories are entertaining.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved that this book was hysterical while still very factual (and a little bit not so factual in certain places!). I laughed out loud many times, but also felt like I learned a lot. A good read for anyone interested in history, specifically music history.

[Zahra Saedi · Rating 4 out of 5]

کتاب همان‌طور که از اسمش پیداست تاریخ موسیقی جمع‌وجور و کوچکی است که نویسنده، طنز هم چاشنی‌اش کرده. برای کسی که هیچ‌گونه دانش موسیقی ندارد کتاب شاید کمی گنگ به‌نظر برسد. و از جنبه‌ی تاریخی هم چندان مفصل نیست. نقطه‌ی قوت به نظر من طنز نویسنده و تصویرگری بامزه‌ی کتاب بود.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bit light on music more of a gossip column on long dead composers which could have been written by Andy Griffiths.

[Amy Meyers · Rating 3 out of 5]

This would be a great book to read in homeschooling: the chapters are very short overviews of the composers, and the author is funny and engaging. EXCEPT that there’s a lot of crude (sexual) information and irreverent jokes, so the homeschooler would have to read it aloud to skip all that info. ALSO, the information doesn’t add enough to make it better than the books my kids already read in elementary. In high school, Robert Greenberg from Great Courses is more thorough and very engaging as well, and you get to hear the songs he’s discussing, so that’s better than this book. So my 13yo kept saying as I read this that he knew this or that fact from Greenberg or from some book he read in elementary, which was very gratifying to me, actually, that he remembered all that; but I don’t think we’re going to remember much from this one because you would need to stop and listen to the music to really take it in. The footnotes made it cumbersome as a read-aloud: read one-three sentences….read “footnote: some joke…” my kids have forgotten the flow of what we were talking about…

[Kulturalnie z Anią · Rating 4 out of 5]

🎻 Zdecydowanie radzę czytać po jednym kompozytorze na dzień,bo inaczej humor może Was przytłoczyć i odebrać przyjemność z czytania.Chyba,że jesteście wprawieni i przedmiot szkolny czy akademicki "historia muzyki" czy "literatura muzyczna" nie jest Wam obcy,wtedy możecie przeczytać ją za jednym razem i nadmiar informacji nie przytłoczy 🎻

[Lena · Rating 1 out of 5]

Liczyłam na prościuttą, wesolutką, małą historię o muzyce, a dostałam…bełkot. Bez ładu, składu, a już na pewno muzyki. Za żarciki porozsypywane w przypisach było mi zwyczajnie wstyd, jakbym to, niedajbudda, ja je głośno pomyślała. To było tak złe, zbędne i infantylne, że aż ją sobie zostawię na półce, ku przestrodze. Gratki dla mnie, odhaczyłam najgorszą książkę roku.

[Mary Catelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short, light-hearted, but accurate history of Western music

Starting with Gregorian chant because that's the first time anyone wrote down the music (having invented a way to do so) and go onward, through the composer named Palestrina -- actually that's his home town, not his last name -- through the greats. Purcell writing an ode to St. Cecelia every year; he died the day before her feast. . Haydn's staid, settled life -- his love life was a little lacking, though -- and the time he wrote a symphony to let his employer know that the orchestra really wanted to go home. Handel's prolonged trip to England. Mozart's precocity. Wagner's temperment and demands; he liked pink. And quite a bit more.

[David Barber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you everyone who has made BBB such a success!

And yes, what I wrote was to the best of my knowledge (and to my research) the truth!

My books are now being republished under www.IndentPublishing.com and new and revised editions are available on Amazon Kindle, KOBO and through online stores around the world! (amazon.com / amazon.uk to name a few).

You can send me an email anytime at dbarber@indentpublishing.com or to my publisher at jlauzon@indentpublishing.com.

I look forward to hearing from you and if you are a music teacher or music professor I would love to help you to promote classical music learning in whatever way I can.

Thanks again,

David W. Barber
Toronto
September 2013

[Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pleasant diversion into a lighthearted view of musical history. While reading I checked a few facts to see if it was made up, and usually found what he stated.

My favorite part of the whole book is a paragraph that helps me tell two composers apart:

"For some reason, many people have trouble telling Schubert and Schumann apart. It's really quite simple: Schubert was the short, dumpy one, with curly black hair and little wire-rimmed glasses. Schumann was taller and married to Clara." (Page 97)

[Mate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Doskonały, przezabawny rzut oka (i ucha!) na muzykę klasyczną od strony człowieka, aniżeli mitów i legend otaczających jego sylwetkę. Autor w brutalnie szczery sposób ukazuje różnicę pomiędzy kompozytorskim, a moralnym piedestałem. Po lekturze tego jedynego w swoim rodzaju opracowania, zdecydowanie wolę dalej zachwycać się Beethovenem, Bachem i innymi chłopakami od strony ich muzycznego dorobku, a nie ekscentrycznych zachowań.

[Nima · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book a little Referring one!you know may be (the thing that happened to me)if you want to start reading it from the first page up to the last it will be some kind of Boring because of the form and structure of the book itself..It would be so much better if you guys get back to the book every time you wanna know anything about a particular singer or musician or on a project,article,workshops related to Music and these kind of things.

Good luck with that

[Rhapsodyblue00 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Talk about information! Wow! This is so informative. The footnotes are the best part. If you are interested in a comprehensive study of a composer, then this book is not for you. But for sheer joy, and if you need a good laugh, then this is the ticket. Barber has other books that are equally terrific.

[Alycia Griesi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A hilarious historical novel on the famous to not-so-famous composers of the past. Definitely a more interesting and comical non-fiction I've read in a long time.

I'd suggest it to anyone who is even slightly interested in music (classical I suppose), for the satirical and sarcastic edge the narrator has makes the novel all the more fun to read.

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, humorous and factual. A great introduction to music history.
This is the first book written by David Barber which I read. I loaned my copy out to students several times and finally lost it. I shall have to replace it, since it and _If it ain't Baroque_ are two books I frequently encourage my music students to read.

[Peter · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun primer of classical composers in the vein of 1066 And All That.

[Christina]

An entertaining and interesting account of music history... This book was a gift to me as a piano student in elementary school, and even then it intrigued me. I love to share the bits of trivia gleaned from this book with other music lovers!

[Jorge · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the way music history should be taught! The composers as people and not infallible machines. Their surprising and often hilarious antics remind you of your musician friend that always gets in trouble.