Crazy Good Sex: Putting to Bed the Myths Men Have about Sex

by Les Parrott III

The combustive force of a man’s sexual drive can incinerate his wedding vows and family commitments—or it can ignite a flame of passion within his marriage that brings mind-blowing pleasure to both partners. In this practical guidebook filled with straight talk about the issues that concern men, psychologist Dr. Les Parrott reveals the truth about six areas that can undermine a man’s confidence, damage his marriage, and leave him struggling unnecessarily with temptation. Parrott counters these false beliefs and uncovers the answers to:


how much sex women want
whether married sex can be truly satisfying and steamy
the biological effects of pornography
what it really takes to please a woman
whether masturbation is harmful or helpful
the controlling force behind a man’s sexual drive
Readers will learn how to change both their beliefs and their behavior, paving the way for a whole new dimension of sexual pleasure.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Sexuality, Christian, Relationships, Christianity

Audio CD

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

#1 New York Times best-selling authors, Les and Leslie. A husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University - a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships.

Married in 1984, the Parrotts bring real-life examples to their speaking platform. Their professional training - Leslie as a marriage and family therapist, and Les as a clinical psychologist - ensures a presentation that is grounded, insightful and cutting-edge.

The Parrotts are New York Times #1 Best Selling Authors. Their books include the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Love Talk, Real Relationships, The Parent You Want to Be, The Hour That Matters Most and Crazy Good Sex.

Each year Les and Leslie speak in over 40 cities. Their audiences include a wide array of venues, from churches to Fortune 500 company board rooms. Their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages.

The Parrotts have been guests on many national TV and radio programs such as CNN, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The View with Barbara Walters, NBC Nightly News, and Oprah. Their work has been featured in USA Today and The New York Times.

Visit their website for lots of free resources at www.LesandLeslie.com

Reviews

[Dustin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book. The title is deceiving this book is on myths men believe about sexuality even in marriage. The chapters on porn, sex addiction and monogamy are phenomenal. The later is really my favorite that philandering brings emptiness and monogamy doesn’t bring boredom. This is written in a simple casual style and is an enjoyable read on martial intimacy.

[A.J. Mendoza · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is highly recommended to any man in the church, and any woman who has a learning disposition towards the sexuality of males. Dr. Parrott does a wonderful debunking very common myths men have held about their sexuality for a very long time. The writing style is very simple and easy, so much so that an advent reader could finish this in two to three days. Would not say that I agree with all of his conclusions (specifically regarding masturbation), but would still encourage any male to wrestle with the information in this book.

[Tangled in Text · Rating 4 out of 5]

Who doesn't want to read about crazy good sex?! I'm about to hit that seven-year itch in my marriage, so I've been picking up a lot of books like this recently to try to get ahead of this supposed downward curve/dry spell. I don't even know what kind of itch to prepare for, so I'm trying to stay active and build armor around us in all directions.

This read was a broad overview and meant for men to read. The author would include a one or two page summary at the end of each chapter just in case women were reading it, to almost mansplain why he said what he said during the chapter, but I think it was more meant if the woman was only reading those snapshots of the book and not the whole thing.

It was good as a starter guide in fixing people's mindset on myths that your sex life dies if you get married and are stuck with one person the rest of your life and that women don't have sex drives. It gives tricks and hints on aligning the male and female sex drive and even setting men straight on their ideas on pornography and masturbation.

I was hoping for more detail and a more literal book with some Karma Sutra type ideas, but I still wouldn't mind if my husband read this. The author does reference some great material if you want to go more in depth to heal from any of his debunked myths from healing from a porn addiction to what I was looking for in finding new positions to make sure we debunk that myth that sex never gets boring in a marriage.

[Kari Napier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting information to say the least and a little eye opening to the truths about men and sex! Control of your mind is a powerful thing. Definitely a book for men but I enjoyed learning a thing or two to understand better.

[Jay Bryant · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author strikes to dispell some myths. He also aims to bridge the lack of understanding between men and women in regards to different aspects of the sexual experience.

I feel it reinforced things I haven't paid full attention to and look forward to improving on my side in this regard.

[Marcas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some solid pastoral advice for married couples, and interested others, but I didn't learn anything new or particularly profound.

Some points he shares:

Sex is basically good and blessed, the brain overrides the male genitalia, despite claims to the contrary and husbands should make an intentional effort to set aside time for sex with their wives.
Parrott suggests helping with housework and reassuring anxious spouses is important in kindling intimacy, but that this shouldn't be purely pragmatic.
Men are also reminded to plant the seed in her mind that you want sex in advance, and set the mood if things lose their flair- candles, new positions, etc
Linked to this, he says spontaneous sex is not as common as movies portray things and planning ensures greater success long-term. As with pretty much everything.

Men are told not to worry about their 'manhood' so much, because it's not a big issue for spouses physiologically or psychologically. It's mostly a myth of advertiser's looking to sell junk and men's overly anxious minds.

Not too much wrong with the book overall, but I'm looking something with a bit more academic meat.
The masturbation chapter was the worst. A bit cringe, and wishy washy on theological detail.
A decent introduction text for Christians, or curious minds seeking something closer to the Christian way.

[Orion (elfspectations) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'll admit, I didn't realize this was a Protestant sex book when I checked this out from the library and ultimately I'm rating it one star because it quotes ~research~ from Focus on the Family, which is basically a Protestant christian hate group. If not for that it would have maybe been a 3 star read.

As with any self help book, some of the information resonates and some of it doesn't, so I just take what works and leave the rest. This wasn't really what I was looking for, but the author did have some interesting and even more "open minded" views than what I would have expected for being a christian educator. Masturbation is a-ok!

[Don Hobbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

A strong read for all men. The section on how to pray concerning porn addiction for yourself and other men was particularly powerful. The chapter concerning masturbation was very well written concerning both sides of the argument. The suggestions for women at the end of each chapter were well thought out.
It is meets men in all seasons of their marriage.

[Lori Yvette Fernandez Lopez · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did not know before reading this that I was not the intended audience, so take my review with a grain of salt. This author puts the roots of relationship issues external to the couple. Almost every issue was blamed on porn and the habits around that, but did not reflect more modern roles of that industry.

[Mary Hladio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, a great book. This is written in a simple casual style and is an enjoyable read on martial intimacy with a focus on the male reader. Dr. Parrott does a wonderful debunking very common myths men have held about their sexuality for a very long time.

[Allison Anderson Armstrong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don’t knock it till you’ve read it! Haha…. I need this book to help me reach my goodreads goals, so no judging lol. The content is not what you’d think based off the title. It’s about myths that people have regarding sex. It’s kind of funny.

[Nicholas · Rating 3 out of 5]

I skimmed quite a bit as most was not about something I/we struggle with. The intro had me thinking we’d actually dive into hard topics, but this felt like more of the obvious same stuff you see often.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was an interesting look at the myths men believe about sex. Reading it with your wife can produce interesting discussions about the male mind.

[Chris McGrath · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some useful information here, but also some dangerous advice, especially for anyone whose wife has been through abuse or trauma.

[Lance Weldgen Jr · Rating 5 out of 5]

GREAT book for people who want to enjoy sex and should enjoy the sex. OF course, within parameter of marriage, please. This book does stress that as well and did very well.

[John Collier · Rating 3 out of 5]

WARNING: This review is rated PG-15 (or something).

Judging by the number of books on the subject, you might come to the conclusion that Christian married couples don’t have sex often; and when they do have sex, it is not very satisfying. Every Christian counselor who can hammer out a manuscript wants to help with this perceived problem. I am not saying the books aren’t needed—I am only saying there are quite a few of them.

Not to be left out, Dr. Les Parrott has written a book devoted to helping men put behind them their misconceptions about sex. Crazy Good Sex (2009, Zondervan) targets “Six Big Sex Myths” (Part Two of the book) that many men have apparently bought into. They are:

* Men Want More Sex Than Women Do
* Sex with the Same Person Gets Boring
* Porn Is Not Addictive
* Size Matters
* The Bible Is Very Clear on Masturbation
* My Sex Drive Is Too Powerful to Control

I will not spend a lot of time on this review. This is not because the book is not very good. It is a fine book. Parrot is plainspoken and deals with the issues in a straight-forward manner. I appreciate that. But rather, because it does not really stand above the fray. The manner in which Parrot addresses some of his topics may be unique to him, but his answers are pretty much the same as most Christian authors, counselors, therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists. Sex (within marriage) is good. Hang-ups about sex (within marriage) are bad. Couples should communicate more. Husbands should be less concerned about their own enjoyment of sex and more concerned about their wives. The best foreplay is a husband washing dishes or vacuuming the carpet.

I am not saying you should not get or read this book. In fact, if this is an area of struggle for you as a married couple, perhaps this is the book that will be of most help to you. I am saying it is not that different than many other books to help married Christians – and other married couples – with their sex lives.

Share your thoughts below!

[Tasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

My second "sex book" by a christian author. It was at our book store at church so I figured I'd give it a go. My interest in the topic is actually for my own book. I'm struggling with how to write a book that doesn't make sex out to be something that it's not - which is what most books I read do. Didn't know this was actually written for men but it does have a page at the end of each chapter that is specifically for the women readers. Even though I'm not the target audience I still found it a good read. Having read Turn Up the Heat first I would say that is probably more helpful in general but it is also written for the married couple where as this one isn't. If you have a spouse, friend etc. that is struggling with porn addiction I think this could be a good place to start if they are looking for help or if you are just looking to understand what they are going through.

[J. Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is primarily written for husbands, but I listened in on the conversation, so to speak. Dr. Parrott addresses common myths men believe about sex, including topics such as size matters and sex with the same person gets boring. He talks directly and knowledgeably about each issue, laying out the facts and practical suggestions.

A wonderful read for the hubbies! It's straightforward talk and aimed at helping husbands have "crazy, good sex." What hubby doesn't want that? :)

P.S. Yes, wives would enjoy this book too. It might help her understand her man even more.

[Dr. Ashori · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 star for writing a book about sex for men. The author is a little hard for me to connect with. He starts out proclaiming that every man wishes he was surrounded by beautiful women like Heffner - but I think most of us outgrew our hormoned teenage years. Next he goes on to say that any man that watches porn isn't a real man and should ask God to help. I still managed to finished the book despite being sex shamed.
It's a good read for any man, nevertheless. For me it's important because I discuss sex and sexuality with my patients.

[Lanny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished this book. It has some really good information based on biblical and clinical findings. It talks about all the things we men should be talking to one another about but don't. Well written, informational, and openly honest. It is written mainly for men but there is a section at the end of every chapter for the "curious" wife. This would be great in a small group study or a one-on-one accountability. A short and easy read. Check it out guys.

[Michael Kidd · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave this book 4 stars in am effort to think like a man struggling currently with the myths/issues Parrott addresses. I think it would serve most young, unmarried men and married men without a firm grasp on sexuality well. I really appreciated Parrott wisely placed humor and skillful sharpness at certain points.

[Emily · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm not the intended audience for this book (Christian men), and there's nothing here I haven't heard before.

[Marc Power · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing terribly novel here. Nice light read with some simple reminders and a few sets of enlightening stats that I'm glad I read.

[Ojuawo Ayobola]

i love this book

[Zack · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read about five sex books before I got married and this one was the worsted.

[Paige Gordon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really good book about the myths that men believe about sex. It is a very straightforward and enjoyable read with great suggestions for husbands and their wives. Definitely recommended.

[Conner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Picked this up while on a bus. Pretty interesting read. Directed at Christians looking into framing views on sex. Focuses it as sin, and makes good points. Good criticism of dehumanizing women.