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Bend or Break #4

Level Hands

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When it comes to love, there's no such thing as smooth sailing.

Rafael Castro is so far out of his element he can't even see it anymore. Carlisle College in Massachusetts is a long way from his Chicago home, even farther from his Dominican Republic roots.

The only thing keeping him attached to his last nerve is the prospect of seeing Denny Winslow again. The first time they met, Denny taught Rafi to fly across the water, rowing hard in a knife-like boat. Now, two years later, on the wings of a rowing scholarship, Rafi is attending Denny's elite college.

Even before the excitement wears off, Rafi is struggling with classes and fending off rumors that Denny's family, not Rafi's talent, won him his spot. To quash the gossip, Rafi tries to steer clear of the man he wants. A plan that evaporates in the fire of renewed attraction.

But Carlisle's academic pressure cooker has Rafi barely treading water. And when a family crisis hits, both Rafi and Denny must pull hard to keep their relationship from capsizing in rough waters.

Warning: Contains a surly Dominican-American guy determined to show no weakness, a golden boy who knows his soft spots, some seriously dirty bachata dancing, and an excellent excuse for voyeurism in the locker room.

THIS EDITION IS A RE-RELEASE OF A PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED VERSION. MINOR CHANGES ONLY HAVE BEEN MADE.

350 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 25, 2015

13 people are currently reading
715 people want to read

About the author

Amy Jo Cousins

46 books624 followers
To get updates on Amy Jo's new releases, sign up for her newsletter at http://eepurl.com/YdVW1.

Amy Jo Cousins lives in Chicago, where she writes queer romance, tweets more than she ought, and sometimes runs way too far. She loves her boy and the Cubs, who taught her that being awesome doesn't necessarily have anything to do with winning.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 138 reviews
Profile Image for ~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semicolons~✡~.
3,594 reviews1,139 followers
September 23, 2015
I love Amy Jo's writing, and I am head over heels for the first two books in the Bend or Break series. (I skipped book 3 because it's M/F.)

I liked this book. The writing, as always, is accessible, and the characters real.

I enjoyed the beginning, and I was excited for Rafi and Denny to reunite.

My problem is Rafi. I never really gelled with him. His POV filters the story, and OMFG, he's insufferable: whiny, insecure, obsessed with image, closeted, ungrateful, neurotic.

Being in his head was a trip, and not a good one.

I have no idea what Denny saw in Rafi? I really wanted Denny's POV here.

Denny is so damn nice: engaging, sweet, with the patience of Job. Who else would put up with Rafi's push/pull theatrics?

This book is also rather low on the steam and heavy on the teen/NA melodrama, not my favorite combination.

Rafi DOES eventually come through, but the ending is a tentative HFN, realistic but not entirely romantic, especially considering the journey there is rough as fuck.

The story has some great secondary characters, and god knows the course of true love does not always run smoothly.

I appreciate that the author delved into some serious issues, including race and anxiety.

I wish these boys all the best, and I certainly hope there's another book in this series. I always want more from Amy Jo!

P.S. I LOVE the covers for this series: creative, classy, and SEXY.
Profile Image for ☆ Todd.
1,442 reviews1,588 followers
December 11, 2016

Aaaaand now for the bad news...

I truly wanted to like this story much more than I actually did.

Rafi, Rafi, Rafi, man, I'm telling you. For 407 long pages, he truly wore me out on nearly every single page.

I had hoped for an upbeat book with plenty of, "Wow, I'm in college and having the time of my life. And the most awesome guy I've ever met digs me, which is fucking amazing."

That's not what I got, at all. This book contained so little joy for me.

Instead, Rafi was a complete worrisome Negative Nancy, where nearly every single aspect of his life held no joy. I swear, the man could turn lemonade back into lemons with his nervous energy and mood swings.

Yes, I get that not every person out there can be completely positive and happy, happy, joy, joy 24/7.

But, when a guy as awesome as Denny worshiped the ground that Rafi walked on, the very *last* thing that he should have been doing was ripping his head off and shitting down his neck. Repeatedly. For several of those 407 pages.

For a large part of the book, I honestly hoped that Denny would get back with his ex-boyfriend from New Orleans, which is not a good sign in a romance.

I realize that the heart wants what it wants, but I truly never got much of a clue as to why Denny was so head over heels for Rafi.

Not even the HEA ending got me very excited, because I had the feeling that Rafi was still going to turn into an anxious, explosive dickhead the moment that things got tough.

I found being inside Rafi's head for the entire book to be exhausting and I was pretty much glad when I got to the last page.

2.5 stars due to Rafi, but rounding up because of Denny.

------------------------------------------------

My copy of the book was provided by the publishers through NetGalley for a fair, unbiased review.
Profile Image for Jyanx.
Author 3 books110 followers
August 27, 2015
I received this book as an ARC through Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.

I was really disappointed by this book. I liked what I saw of Rafi and Denny in the last book, and I thought that their budding relationship was sweet. I was very excited to read this book, but Rafi drove me nuts in this book. I understand his frustrations, and his fears, but I did not like the way he took them out on the people around him, especially Denny. He blew so hot and cold throughout the course of this book. One minute he loved Denny and the next minute he knew that they didn't fit, and it would never work. It frustrated me especially because it was all Rafi making decisions for Denny, and never sitting down, and talking it out like adults. I liked that Denny got mad, and Denny pushed back, but he seemed a bit too good to be true, and he was always waiting not matter how much Rafi hurt him. He was almost a bit too much of a martyr.

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I also didn't appreciate Rafi's attitude towards his new home. It seems like he never really tried to understand the area where his college was located, and took for granted that the white kids around him were just as well off as Denny. I didn't like all of his comments about "New England white boys" kind of drove me crazy. You want to be treated as an individual and not a stereotype, and I appreciate that, but maybe you should extend the same courtesy to others. That and maybe learn a little more about New England. Just a bit.

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The plot was a bit slow, and so much of it felt like Rafi's own self created drama that I had a hard time really feeling badly for him. Things started to change towards the ending, but by that time it felt like too little too late, and I just didn't care enough.

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Profile Image for .Lili. .
1,275 reviews276 followers
July 27, 2015
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Level Hands by Amy Jo Cousins is the 4th book in her Bend or Break series. I've read books 1 & 2 and really enjoyed them, but I skipped book 3 because it was M/F. I'm not sure if not reading book 3 did a disservice in the end.

I'll start with the negatives first...

This book started off very strong. It starts with a glimpse at Rafi and Denny saying goodbye to each other after finally sharing their first kiss. Fast forward to Rafi gaining a scholarship to Carlisle where he will be reunited with Denny. As I mentioned, it started well- I love second chance romances and I'm a total sucker for New Adult. I was loving the sexual tension and for the first half of the book I didn't mind that the story is only told from Rafi's POV. After the first 50% though I became very frustrated.

The constant pull and push. Rafi went hot and cold throughout the entire book. I understood his insecurities at first but after a while being in Rafi's thoughts was exhausting. It didn't help that just when I thought we'd get somewhere something else would happen to push them apart. . It was too much. It felt as if they were apart more than they were together. I began to question why Denny was still waiting for Rafi since we only caught bits here and there of them together as a couple before poop would hit the fan again. And when it hit- Rafi didn't handle things well. Denny had the patience of a saint. I kind of wish this book had shown us more of their back story and less drama. I wanted to see more of them working together as a team to overcome the obstacles being thrown their way. By the end, I was ready to pull my hair out. I can't help but wonder if book 3 set this book up and showed us more of their time together. I really just wanted more time of them together without drama waiting around the corner.

My second complaint is that I think the story would have been strengthened if it had been told from an alternating POV. Maybe if we'd gotten to see Rafi through Denny's eyes it would have helped me understand his steadfast loyalty towards someone who was always pushing him away.

All that being said, Amy Jo Cousins is a great writer and I don't want to take that away from her. I greatly appreciated that story touched on some important topics: racism, safe sex, and anxiety. Also, despite Rafi frustrating the heck out of me- I still liked him and was rooting for him for him to succeed. Denny, what was there not to love? He was an amazing character. I really wish we'd gotten to hear his voice.

Overall, this was a 3.5 star read. I would've rated higher if Rafi had not been hot n cold the whole time. The extra drama was vexing, but his actions irked me even more.

ARC kindly provided by the publisher for an honest review.
Profile Image for Jenn.
438 reviews233 followers
Want to read
June 11, 2015
Whoever writes these Samhain "warnings" deserves ALL the money and the rewards. They sell me on every fucking book out there.
Profile Image for Katrina Passick Lumsden.
1,782 reviews12.9k followers
October 5, 2015
WTF is this?

400+ pages of Rafi worrying. About everything.

That's what this is. Rafi. Fretting. For 400+ pages.

*Headdesk*
Profile Image for Ellie.
884 reviews189 followers
August 28, 2015
Love, Love, Love it!

I rarely do more personal reviews but this book touched me on so many personal levels that I can't help it. If you care about a more objective review of the book, I will put something like it on my blog and leave the emotional stuff here.

So, here goes nothing.

It's Rafi's book through and through, not just because the story is told from his POV. Don't get me wrong I loved Denny quite a lot and he has a strong presence in the story but Rafi got me teary eyed a time or two in this book and I felt so, so close to him.

It is uncanny hom much I could relate to some of his college experience given how differen him and I are. I'm a 36 yo white het woman from a small country in Europe and he is a 20 yo gay African-Latino guy in what I understand to be one of the best white-boys(and girls) colleges in US.

Fresh out of high school at the age of 18 I got accepted in the best University in my country to study English philology (British and American studies). Now, it's my home city, so I lived with my parents at the time and didn't suffer from racial or sexual abuse like Rafi but the pressure to fit was real.

Some background info - this all takes place less than 10 after the fall of socialism/communism in Bulgaria and many things that are common and taken for granted in the Western culture were still new to us and it was yet another thing to navigate and get used to. All Western philology studies were sort of reserved for children of the political and party elite until recently and even in my day - many of my colleagues came from such families. And there was me - none of my parents had gone to University, none of them knows any foreign language. I had to figure most of the universtiy stuff on my own. And I have to tell you it was a struggle. Because I'm an overachiever, because I was studying something I loved but it was not easy. Some of my professors in the first year did their best to break the little confidence I had. I've always been good at school stuff, if nothing else and there was I, sudenly feeling like I didn't know how to write or read literature any more. The icing on the cake was 2 semesters of Latin which came of the blue and I didn't even know where to start with. The academic pressure felt brutal and i thought of giving it all up. The only reason I was because of my family - my father complete faith to the point of irrationality that I can do anyhting I set my mind to and my mom's constant encourgement and support.

I didn't have the complcations (and benefits) of a love relationship at the time but suddenly I had to navigate the dymanics of an all-women classes which was yet another complication for me.

In short, for long stretches of of the story I felt like Rafi's thoughts were mine. His struggle to make sense of this new, unfamiliar place, to be good enough/to deserve his place there (since he got there on a scholarship). His experience was powerfully presented and his anxiety felt real and true to life, especially to me as someone who is pretty anxious about a lot of things in life.

And I absolutely loved that the story made me look back on my own expereices in university with just a touch of melancholy and no real sense of regret.

I loved how the story included Rafi's life in its complexity - the romance, the college, the family stuff, the rowing. There is even a brief and rather sweet appreance of Steph and Cash (with Tom and Reese on the side). Rafi struggled with so many new things in his life and it all was interconnected and affected deeply his relationship with Denny.

The chemistry was really strong but they had to deal with a lot of issues on practicle level, basically they had to find a way to be together. I liked how Ms COusins didn't gloss over their difficulties and made their romance a perfect one. The love to each other and both felt they belong together but that didn't save them from making mistakes along the way. They are too different in terms of sociel, ethnic background, financial situation, family situation and their love didn't just magically erase those difference. They had to learn how to be togther while still being different. there was no sacrfice on oneself just to make the other happy. Rather what we got were two young people making compromises for each other.

There is an element of coming-of-age to this story. Both Rafi and Denny had to figure out what they wanted in life and how to go about getting it. The ending came as a bit of surprise but I think it fits the characters and I see it as promise, something that helps them to be happy together.

I want to end this rambling trip down memory lane with a quote about Denny which I think fits Rafi as well and pretty much sums up me in love - "Denny needed to take care of him because that was how Denny loved."

Thank you, Amy Jo, for writing this story!
Profile Image for Christina.
839 reviews123 followers
October 13, 2015
1.5 Stars

Rafi was beyond frustrating. We got over 400 pages of Rafi being insecure and whiny. He annoyed the hell out of me. I get his concerns and fears, but no matter how much I empathized, I couldn't like him. All the back and forth with Denny didn't help any. I really thought this was going to end up the other way around, since Rafi intrigued me in the last book and Denny was just the pinning teenager, but wow was I wrong. Denny shined and I grew to like him even through all his faults.

We didn't need so much info on rowing or the cameos of past MC's. It just made the book drag. It was too long and drawn out.
Profile Image for Taya:).
499 reviews45 followers
August 28, 2015
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.

The one thing I can say about this author's work is that her characters are not clean cut. Her characters reaction to real life situation felt genuine.

Rafael is one depressing mofo of a character. He just wouldn't let you just breath before shit hit the fan. The man just couldn't allow himself to be happy. I skip book 3, so I have no clue how much background on Rafi or even Denny there is. I don't understand how someone who had the balls to come out in high school could be so self -deprecating in college. He spent too much time in his head and being so self conscious that killed the romance part of this story.

As for Denny, I didn't feel him and really had no background or maybe I miss it by not reading book 3. His was just a understanding prop for Rafi.

This definitely not my favorite and you really need to be in heavy angst head space to really appreciate this book. This was a good book but I was not prepared to handle this level of angst.
Profile Image for Amy Cousins.
Author 46 books624 followers
Read
May 28, 2015
An actual blurb and pre-order links will be coming soon, but in the meantime, I can tell you that you will meet the two heroes of LEVEL HANDS when you read THE GIRL NEXT DOOR. Rafi and Denny are a big part of Cash and Steph's reconnection, and I was super excited to give the boys their own story in LEVEL HANDS. :)

Sneak peeks and giveaways of LEVEL HANDS will be happening in my newsletter over the summer. Sign up at http://amyjocousins.com/ if you want in on that goodness!

Right. I'm going to go back to staring at Rafi's arms on this cover... Sigh.
Profile Image for Ronie Reads.
1,562 reviews28 followers
August 27, 2024
Hopefully this post. My connection is acting up, or it's this website. Anyway a nice wrapup of this series. Sike, there's more...more books. Yet I'll get back to reading later.
Profile Image for Bella.
598 reviews119 followers
August 26, 2015
2.5 Stars

Let me start by saying I LOVE THIS SERIES!!! I was DYING for Rafe and Denny's story - dying.

I love Amy Jo Cousins' writing - she sucks me into a story.

In Level Hands, I really wished we could have had alternating POV. Rafe's POV and his character in general, was difficult for me to connect to. He want's Denny, but he doesn't want any help. I get that he wanted to make it on his own, with his own merit. But at some point, he was just being so mean to Denny that I just couldn't take it.

Denny was amazing. I loved his character. He really is the only reason I finished this story. So sweet, so kind, so patient, and sexy! He gave Rafe way more chances than I ever would have.

My favorite scene - the dancing scene. I loved it!

I really appreciate that the author touched on the topic of HIV and HIV prevention. So often in books the characters get caught up in the heat of the moment, they exchange promises of "I'm clean" without really taking time to make sure they're being safe. This is one of my biggest pet peeves in books and I give props to Amy Jo for bringing up this topic.

I was disappointed by this installment in the series - I had high hopes for this couple.

But that won't stop me from reading all future work from this author.
Profile Image for Gwennie.
920 reviews191 followers
September 9, 2015
I think my problem with NA is how it always seems have to have an overload of angst and shades of inappropriate behavior? What about New Adults who have their crap together and don’t want to deal with troublemakers or unnecessary heartache? That’s why I loved Him by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy so much. It was about two people who mostly had their crap together, and how they tried to operate in ways that didn’t hurt the other person.

In Level Hands there was a lot of unnecessary angst. In the first half I found myself wanting to pull my hair out and scream at Rafi, beg him to get over himself and stop being his own roadblock. In my opinion, a constant frustrating anger is never a good place to be when reading a book. A burst of anger is fine, a simmering anger underneath is fine, but a constant agonizing anger is just bad because it in turns reflects on the book as a whole. It stops being ‘I hate that character’ and it becomes ‘I hate that book’.

Luckily in Level Hands I came to grips with Rafi’s character and I started recognizing his viewpoints as coming from someone in a minority trying to prove himself. Rafi was uncomfortable with feeling like he got his scholarship to meet a ‘racial quota’. Denny’s helping him get that scholarship made him feel worse about what their friendship/relationship looked like to other people. He wanted to stand on his own feet.

Denny recognized this and was so very patient. He was far more patient that I think he should have been. I would have given up on a relationship with Rafi after the first couple months.

Once I came to terms with Rafi’s head space I started enjoying the story more, and in the end I was pretty happy with it. I even joined Amy Jo Cousins mailing list so I could get the bonus chapter, and I went back and looked at the previous books in the series, wanting to read MORE. In particular I want to read the story of Cash and Steph, because that includes when Rafi and Denny first met and even the flashbacks of their meeting were awesome!

Conclusion – After an uphill battle I got to a satisfying end. 4 stars!

Thank you to Samhain Publishing and Netgalley for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Read this and other reviews like it at Badass Book Reviews!
Profile Image for Pjm12.
2,040 reviews41 followers
August 20, 2015
This is book 4 in Amy Jo's series starting with Reece and Tom. I like that the couples are so varied, and don't really live in each other's pockets, or are all related.

However, Rafe is a very difficult boy to like. The chip on his shoulder about money and intelligence and worthiness means his self-esteem is low, and we have to endure much self denial and unhappiness.

The times that Rafe is honest with Denny are really great to see. 'I'm not ready', 'I need time', and 'I hope you can wait' - all straight from the heart.

But, gosh, so many times, he's wrapped in his own thoughts, and it's not pretty to watch him make so many mistakes.

But Denny is patient, and forever. So, I persisted. I loved Vincent, and Bob, but most particularly Austin, who is complicated and pining. I think their story might be next (maybe).

Anyway, great to see Cash & Steph, but not enough time was spent with Tom & Reece although

If you like angst anger and hot boys running hot and cold. And some pretty sexy dancing, this might work for you. And ultimately, Rafe is a good boy, and we need to cheer him on.

Copy provided by Netgalley. Book available on August 24th.
Profile Image for Barb ~rede-2-read~.
3,766 reviews113 followers
August 12, 2015
This book was provided to me by the author through the M/M Romance Group’s DBML Program in exchange for an impartial review.

When Rafi Castro is granted a full ride athletic scholarship to be on the rowing team at Carlisle College in Massachusetts, he’s so excited he can hardly breathe. Not only will he finally get to go to college, he’ll get to pursue his dream of being an elite rower for the Carlisle team, and he’ll finally get to see Denny Winslow again.

Wealthy, blond, gorgeous Denny chose Rafi as the man to give him his first kiss when he turned eighteen, and Rafi has been wanting more for two years. But Rafi feels unworthy. Dirt poor, raised primarily by his sisters as his mother went back to the Dominican Republic when he was a young boy, Rafi feels being both black and Latino are two very major strikes against him. Plus, he doesn’t want the other guys on the team to get the idea that it was Denny’s family’s influence that got him the scholarship to the rowing team, even if that happens to be true.

Rafi puts himself through so much pressure and self-torture for the first few weeks of school that he’s ready to explode. He doesn’t want to accept Denny’s help, or really any help from anyone, but it looks like he’s going to have to break down and do it. And he wants Denny desperately, but he keeps pushing him away because he doesn’t want to be perceived as Denny’s “boy.” He engages in an emotional push-pull with Denny so often that Denny finally calls their relationship off before it has really begun.

Of course, that’s when Rafi sees what he’s been doing and takes steps to correct it. Unfortunately, he never really follows through, and when Denny is injured and chooses to recuperate at home, rather than have Rafi help him, an even greater divide is created between them. It’s not until Rafi is called home to Chicago when one of his sisters is injured that he realizes that he has established some true friendships at school, with his roommates and with Denny. And when Denny shows up in Chicago, the two finally take steps to be together out in the open once they return. One would hope that would mean smooth sailing for the two rowers (pun intended), but Rafi screws up again once they are on campus. Can these two really hope for their HEA?

This was a nice story, and I especially loved the fact that the author covered a sport that is not often mentioned in M/M romance. I also enjoyed learning more about rowing and the grueling training schedule the guys follow. Denny was sweet and had the patience of a saint. But the biggest hurdle for me with this story was Rafi. I just couldn’t warm to him. Even when he was committed to Denny, I didn’t get a sense of warmth or caring from him and when he acted out, which was often, I couldn’t care less if he got what he wanted. If a character doesn’t grab me from the beginning and force me to like him, when he starts acting out, there’s no way I can establish empathy for him, root for him, or care about him in any way. So, sadly, I honestly didn’t care if he got his HEA with Denny, and frankly, I think Denny would be better off without him.

I would recommend this to those who love M/M romance with a sports theme, those who like interracial romance, and those who like to root for the underdog who spends most of his time in self-induced angst and turmoil.
Profile Image for Aerin.
594 reviews1 follower
August 7, 2015
2.5 stars

To say I'm frustrated after reading this book would be a gigantic understatement. This book was well written, no grammatical errors, no cheesiness, none of the stuff that usually makes me flip, yet I didn't enjoy reading it. I wanted to give up on it many times but I pushed through because I loved the first two books in this series so I expected this to get better. I didn't read book #3 because EWWWWWW M/F! I'm not sure if I missed some obvious parts about Rafi's character by skipping that book, but regardless, I hated Rafi by the end of the book.

Maybe of the book was told from Denny's POV, or maybe from alternate POVS I could've managed to warm up to Rafi, but this is told entirely from Rafi's pov. And let me tell you it's freaking exhausting being in Rafi's head. He's a whiny bitch, who runs hot and cold from one second to the next and the effect is dizzying. He's insecure and somewhat homophobe, even though he's been out and proud for years. I didn't understand him, not at all. The way he treated Denny like shit, pushed him away constantly only to grovel 5 minutes later was exhausting. Forget about tender moments and crazy hot sex....that's what I thought we would get when the book started. Denny and Rafi are getting a second chance at love, which I usually love, but the only thing Rafi deserved was a size 14 kick in the ass.

I loved Denny and thought he was way too patient and understanding with Rafi, and I can only wish to know why that is. Is there anything special about Rafi to make up for the chip on his shoulder and the constant hurtful behavior when it comes to Denny? If there is, I failed to see it. The only sex we get comes after the 70% mark because I don't exactly count an angry blowjob as sex. There was too much drama and not enough emotional bonding between Rafi and Denny.

I hated Rafi!!! And I can't like/love a book when I hate the main character.
Profile Image for atmatos.
817 reviews143 followers
January 13, 2016


I am at a loss for words.

*cries*

I wasn't impressed with Rafi at all. He was a total douche for most of the book, with a too little too late ending. I also wasn't impressed with Denny playing games either, the texting the ex get a reaction...not cool dude, not cool.


Thank you Netgalley for letting me read this book in trade for an honest review.
Profile Image for Joan.
824 reviews54 followers
June 4, 2019
Melancholy is the word I’d pick for this book.

One awesome book and two downers in this series. UGH.

I’m beginning to think book 1 is the only one I’ll like in this series.
Profile Image for Melissa.
1,420 reviews95 followers
January 24, 2019
Austin really saved this story for me. He is such a cute character and I look forward to his story the most after listening to this book.

Some parts of this story worked for me, and some parts didn't. I liked that they didn't jump into a relationship. I didn't like the back and forth, off/on thing they had going on. I got over that real quick. I liked all the friends/secondary characters and that previous characters make appearances (super cool!). I didn't like all the drama about staying in the closet when Rafe was out of the closet before. Why would college be different? Isn't college the time when people come out of the closet?

I still give this 4 stars because the narration was good and I loved Austin. :)
Profile Image for Alisa.
1,895 reviews201 followers
March 1, 2016
*I received this book as a part of the Don't Buy My Love Program in exchange for an honest review*


This was another really good installment in the Bend or Break series. We first meet Rafi and Denny in book three where they have a side story. I know a lot of people who read this series skipped book three because it was m/f. That's not a deal breaker for reading this book but you do need to know that these guys fell for each other then. Denny was only 17 so Rafi didn't let anything but friendship happen between them although it was obvious they cared a lot for each other. Fast forward two years later and the two friends are now at the same college together. Denny has already been a student but Rafi is transfering in on a rowing "diversity" scholarship. Denny is super excited and feeling like they will finally be able to move from friends to something more. For Rafi things aren't so clear cut. He cares deeply for Denny but he's so wrapped up in his own issues that he can't see what's right in front of him.

While this is partly a love story it is probably more a coming of age story. Rafi is struggling badly with his first year away at college. He's one of the few minority students at a predominately white, rich kid college. He's constantly worried about how others perceive him and he focuses on pushing himself to always be the best so that no one thinks he's getting a "free ride" due to his ethnicity. As a result Rafi isolates himself in many ways. He's stressed and he's exhausted both physically and emotionally and instead of relying on Denny to support him he repeatedly pushes him away.

I really enjoyed this story and I thought the author did a great job conveying some very serious topics in this story. (ie Not all high school students receive the same education so some students with good grades are still not prepared to do college level work). Rafi's head was an exhausting place to be and while I wanted to shake him a few times I felt he was very realistically portrayed. I think Rafi will be a difficult character for some readers and I have a feeling many are going to be frustrated with him and his internal angst. In a bit of self disclosure I have to say I was the poor kid off away at a private school with no idea what was going on. It was a long time ago but reading this book brought back so many feelings. I felt badly for Rafi because I've been there, done that, and it was a completely overwhelming feeling. I understood Rafi's feelings of inadequacy and the constant need to prove yourself and it's not something you magically learn to deal with your first semester. My hat's off to the author because I think she did a great job portraying this particular dynamic.

Denny was great and everyone should have someone like Denny. Despite my understanding of Rafi's situation I still found myself frustrated with his treatment of Denny. Denny puts up with a lot of crap from him and sometimes it's hard to understand why. That brings me to my only complaint of the book. I felt like we needed to see more of them together, more of their happy moments to fully understand why Denny puts up with Rafi. Each book of this series has been told from one MC's pov and it didn't matter in the first two books. I still felt like I got to know both MC's well. In book three and this one though I felt the stories were really one sided and I didn't get to know the second MC and their motivations/feelings etc as well.

As always with this author the writing was strong and the plot flowed seemlessly. Although this is the fourth book in the series this can be read as a standalone. If you have read the prior books you will see appearances from Tom/Reese and Cash/Stephanie. (There was a teeny, tiny hint that maybe not all is well with one of the previous couples and I will say that if that's the case I'm going have a heart attack.) Some new interesting characters were introduced and there seems to be the promise of new stories with them.
Profile Image for Dani.
280 reviews66 followers
July 24, 2016

I have a strange relationship with Cousin's books.

They certainly make me think.
She straddles a very fine line for me, and sometimes she gets it right, really right, and succeeds at something I'm yearning for, namely giving me smart, self-possessed, complex young adults that don't read like dumb caricatures with stupid draaama. While still describing the struggles and eye-rolling hang-ups and intensive emotions of that time in life quite accurately.

Then suddenly there creep up some passages or story-turns that feel just that tiny tad too preachy agenda, too politically correct, too "I've read that article"y. And that sucks the life and emotional immediacy out of the characters and the relationship dynamic.

And then she redeems herself again by letting MCs fail, not once but twice or more, by letting them rage their inner asshole, by writing fighting scenes that go deep and therefore really hurt.

And then, during the conflict resolution, that Sunday sermon feeling creeps up again.

And round it goes.

So, you can see, I’m undecided.

Still, when I look at my ratings, she scores quite high. And I think this is because, even though I have these issues, again and again, she makes me really feel for some of the guys, or she makes me really think about some of the gals - and I highly appreciate her for that.
Also, looking at some of the average Ratings, I have this knee-jerk reaction that it is just not fair that this utter YA crap has an average rating of 4,22 (unfuckingbelievable!) while her best has 3,67.
Nope, not happening, simply unbearable. So that’s why I just have to round up.

And with this one, I don’t even have to round up. This is a solid four. There is some stuff that annoyed me but, really, forget it, because there were incredibly insightful fight scenes.
Tension that ratcheted up until the explosion made everyone bleed. Lovely, and very realistic (even though the resolution was too fast and neat for my taste).

There was delicious UST.

There was spot-on, relentless description of the emotional havoc that constant social stress can wreck on an otherwise quite strong and smart guy. I LOVED that. Loved it so hard. I seriously think that, if anything, the stress-level Rafi was under was understated, not overstated. Thank you, Amy Jo Cousins, for staying true to the character on that account.

I also loved that being well-meaning did not detract anything from Denny’s utter cluelessness. He is severely limited in his ability to connect with Rafi on that level, so Rafi will always have to do double work for them to stay connected. That’s just how it is – and Denny, in my opinion , should better own that. He was not enough called out on that fact by Rafi, for my taste.

So, lots of good stuff – and my heart bleeds a little because I think




Profile Image for 1-Click Addict Support Group.
3,749 reviews490 followers
August 28, 2015
Straight-up arm porn, that's what the cover is. As if that wasn't enough to grab my attention, Level Hands also the fourth book in a series I've loved since book one. Oh, and it has another one of those brill warnings that Amy Jo Cousins has perfected. So, in summary: arm porn + beloved series + killer warning = FANTASTIC BOOK. Pretty simple math there.

Rafael Castro is a fish out of water. Or, a kid away from the Prairie. Two years after meeting Denny Winslow, sharing a memorable first kiss, and learning to slice through water like butter, Rafi is headed to Carlisle College with a rowing scholarship and a strong need to see Denny once again.

Only problem is...Rafi is the odd man out. And with his fellow crew members speculating about his relationship with Denny and how exactly he landed his place in the team, he's determined to stay away from the one man he knows in this new, hilly landscape.

Except that's harder than it seems. One look and the attraction is back, stronger than ever. And when tragedy strikes, the only person Rafi wants to lean on is the one he's been trying to push away.

Ms. Cousins is absolutely one of my favorite authors. Her smart, funny, messy and sexy books get to the nitty-gritty of the relationships between her unique characters, and are a treat to read. They're real, raw and overflowing with genuine human emotion, flawed but loveable characters and some seriously hot shit that turns thigh clenching into an Olympic sport. Level Hands is yet another example of that.

I've been looking forward to this story since I read (and loved) The Girl Next Door. I wasn't sure where Ms. Cousins would take it, only that I wanted in on it. The story was truly enjoyable despite Rafi's stubbornness, occasionally petulant outbursts and unwillingness to just let go for the sake of Denny. His imperfections simply highlighted what, to me, was a very realistic portrayal of a young man struggling in an unfamiliar and sometimes cruel world.

Denny was, on the other hand, a study of near perfection. The golden boy who sometimes seemed like he had it all and had it all together but, really, was simply grasping at what he truly wanted and was just out of reach...Rafi. I loved him even more here, as a more mature, more open, more level man, than I did as the teenager that rocked Cash's world in the previous book. He was perfect for Rafi and perfect for this book.

Level Hands absolutely captivated me from the first page. Although I would have loved more insight into my man, Denny's mind--only because Rafi was occasionally so tough on him, it would have been interesting to see how exactly he reacted to and coped with that--I nonetheless found it impossible to stop reading for any longer than it took me to make a cup of tea.

With the introduction of some new characters in the form of Rafi and Denny's crew/roommates, I'm hoping that means there is still more to come for this series. Austin and Vinnie, perhaps? I mean, I'm looking at their cameos in this book and thinking there's a book there. Two men, one dorm room and a boatload of tension...you do the math. ~ Beth, 4.5 stars
Profile Image for Kirsten.
1,916 reviews92 followers
March 28, 2022
There’s an HEA,
But life’s still complicated.
This series moves me.
Profile Image for Maria Rose.
2,636 reviews267 followers
April 2, 2016
This is the fourth story in the Bend or Break series and while it can be read as a standalone, the two main characters Rafael and Denny met in the third book (The Girl Next Door) when they were 2 years younger, forming a fast friendship that could have turned into something more serious if Denny hadn’t moved back home. But now they are both at the same college, Rafi having made it there via a rowing scholarship that Denny’s family had a hand in creating. Rafi is out of his element, struggling to fit into this new world and retain his identity as an accomplished rower in his own right and not as a charity case or Denny’s new ‘boy’. Balancing his feelings for Denny with his desire for independence has him all tied up in knots – will he miss the opportunity to further their relationship because of his stubborn pride?

I’ve read all the books in the series, and I have to say that this one is my personal favorite. It’s told from Rafi’s point of view and you can just feel his struggles to fit in and feel comfortable in his own skin. In this regard, the writing is excellent as I found his challenges very realistic and right from the start you can feel his internal battle. He knows he’s the charity case, the one on the team who is there because of a scholarship that was designed with him in mind from the start. This gives him the intense desire to prove to everyone that he’s worthy of the money. And money is something he’s very conscious of, having grown up in a poor household. This elite college that he’s at is something he would never have dreamed of attending, and his interactions with the privileged students and their casual relationship to money just reinforces in him how much he can’t screw up this opportunity.

Denny was his best friend two years ago – but the Denny he encounters now is not the gawky crushing on him teenager but instead a handsome, ripped (oh yeah!) confident man. He’s been waiting for this opportunity to be with Rafi again, yet Rafi pretty much gives him the cold shoulder. Rafi already has the stigma of being a scholarship student, one that the guys on the team are aware exists because of Denny and his family. The last thing he wants is to be Denny’s boyfriend at the college too and not to be taken as a serious competitor. His struggle to fight his feelings for Denny was heartbreaking, and there were times I just wanted to shake some sense into him (the same as Denny I imagine). Of course, eventually he just can’t stay away anymore, and they finally get the chance to be together they way they’ve wanted to for a long time. Denny is no longer an innocent teenager and they share some steamy love scenes together. But as much as the sex is hot, it’s the emotional intensity that grabs the reader and makes them root for this couple. Because Denny is only going to give so much to Rafi without getting something in return, and Rafi is risking losing the best thing that’s ever happened to him by shutting him out and keeping their relationship a secret. It’s a challenging situation for both men, and made for the type of story that’s hard to put down as you root for them to get their happy ending. This whole series to date has been excellent and I’m looking forward to what’s coming next. 5 stars.

When Denny came out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, Rafi was tapping his foot on the floor, antsy and ready to go. Denny was in no hurry,though, pulling his towel off and wiping himself down with it like he was polishing a glossy sports car. Carefully. Slowly. With excruciating attention to every nook and cranny.
“What are you doing?” Rafi’s voice was so thick.
“What do you mean?” Denny asked, lifting one arm and rubbing it thoroughly with the towel clutched in his other hand.
“Jesus Christ, you gotta be dry enough already,” he muttered, dropping his gaze to the floor and pulling his T-shirt away from his stomach, wishing the fabric were longer. If he stood up right now, there was no way Denny could miss that Rafi was hard, just from looking at him.
“I hate feeling all sticky.” Denny’s laugh was husky. “Well, I guess I don’t always hate it.”
Rafi couldn’t say a word. His tongue had stopped working somewhere in the middle of his brain picturing all the ways Denny could end up getting sticky. Sex! Sweat! Come! All the naked things!


Note: a copy of this story was provided by the author for review.

Note 2: a copy of this review is posted on the Straight Shootin' Book Reviews blog at: http://straightshootinbookreviews.com...
Profile Image for Veronica of V's Reads.
1,528 reviews44 followers
July 29, 2015
I received this book via Goodreads' Don't Buy My love program in exchange for an honest review. This is the 4th book in the Bend or Break series, but can be read as a standalone.

Rafi Castro is a man raised in Chicago, though his parents are from the Dominican Republic. He is Afro-Latino and has lived a hardscrabble life, mostly raised by his four elder sisters, once his mother returned to her home country. He met Denny two years before when Denny ran away from home and stayed with his cousin, and Rafi's boss, Cash--who is in books one and three of the series. Denny was only 17 then but he had a fierce crush on 19 y/o out and proud Rafi, and they spent a lot of sexually-ripe but platonic time together, excepting one kiss the final day of Denny's stay, and once he'd turned 18.

Now, Rafi is headed to Carlisle College on a diversity-based rowing scholarship. And Denny is awaiting him. Both men are sophomores now, and on the rowing team together. Rafi is determined to be his own man--fearing that everyone will look at him like a charity case, and sure that both Cash and Denny pulled strings to get his scholarship. He's not wrong--some of his teammates do think that. And, it's likely true that Cash's connections assisted in Rafi's acceptance, but Rafi's behavior demonstrates a level of closing in that borders paranoia. He doesn't want to accept any of Denny's plentiful offers at touring the campus, or helping him adjust to college life.

Rafi is, quite plainly, unable to deal. His assignments are coming back with poor grades, one of his teammates seems continually ready to put him down, and Denny is just too perfect, too rich, too beautiful to understand all the (imaginary) demons that plague Rafi--if Rafi would once bother to talk to Denny about his fears.

On the other hand, Rafi is totally gone for Denny, and can't bear to push him away too long. I wanted, seriously, to punch Rafi in the throat for a large part of the book. I have been the scholarship kid, living on financial aid and work-study jobs. I get pride, I really do, but Rafi is beyond prideful. He's so proud he comes off as ashamed, and honestly, I think that he was ashamed. He fought all through high school to be this out-proud guy, but the second he steps onto Carlisle's campus he clams up. He has friends on the team who are out, but he can't bear to even look at Denny in a way that might could indicate interest. He doesn't want to be "Denny's boy" and yet his denial speaks volumes.

For his part, Denny is often too patient. He wants Rafi to be his serious boyfriend, but makes it clear that he won't wait forever. Their dynamic is so fraught. I wanted Rafi to come around, but he was SO obstinant--again causing my fist to curl in readiness. Every time it looked as if they got into synch, there was a catastrophe. And Rafi's temper is a real issue. I was glad that his friend, Austin, was honest about it and that Rafi finally began to ask for the help he absolutely needed.

The end is an HEA that is hard fought and harder won. Expect Rafi to be a confused prick for 90% of his love story. There is no convenience in this story. There is Rafi learning how to be a boyfriend through error after error, and finally being a big enough person to speak his truth, and make amends for his bad behavior. Denny is a calm breeze in the hot/cold hurricane of Rafi's regard. Still, he has issues. I really thought the discussion of PrEP and the stigma of its use was refreshing. I got all Rafi's protectiveness, and was glad to see he turned all that mental energy into something productive--figuring out a career path that works to his strengths.

There are a few steamy scenes, but mostly there is a lot of fits and starts with an angsty Afro-Latino making more trouble than he needs. When they finally DO work together there is a beautiful connection.
Profile Image for Caroline Brand.
1,755 reviews68 followers
September 3, 2015
REVIEWED FOR PRISM BOOK ALLIANCE

3.75 Stars

I loved the first two books in this series but will admit to skipping over book 3. Amy Jo Cousins always gives us more than just romance in her books and this one was no different. As well as dealing with homophobia it also tackles racism and safe sex.

I will begin by saying I loved Denny. When he was seventeen and spent the summer giving his parents space after coming out he spent a lot of time with Rafi. His first crush on a guy and when he had just turned eighteen his first kiss with a guy. That kiss meant a lot to both of them but it is two years before they see each other again.

Denny comes from money so has no problems fitting into life at Carlisle College. White, blond hair, blue eyes and affluent and to anyone looking in on his life it seems a breeze. Denny is everything that Rafi isn’t – or that’s how Rafi sees himself. Different skin colour, different background and only at Carlisle on a scholarship, which Denny and his family help set up, you can forgive Rafi for feeling less than confident. He is a far cry away from the young lad who wore pink every day for school to shove the fact that he was gay down the bigot’s throats. That was the Rafi we needed to see entering Carlisle!

The first part of the book was great as Rafi tries to fit in and settle down. He is also reunited with Denny and isn’t sure what to do about it. His roommates are great characters, particularly Austen, and if Rafi could just take a breath he would realise that a lot of his fears are just in his head. His work load, the pressure of his scholarship and his feelings for Denny prove to be too much and he spirals out of control with stress.

By the end of the book I wasn’t a great fan of Rafi. To have doubts, to feel insecure and to not be sure what to do is natural. To constantly run hot and cold with a person’s feelings and to push and pull them in all directions just became too much in the end. As the ending of the book got closer I was beginning to feel that we would never get a resolution and at this point I felt angry for the way Denny was being treated and really pissed off with Rafi. Denny was a saint who took everything thrown at him and still calmly stated he would wait.
Profile Image for Lotta.
1,048 reviews19 followers
August 27, 2015
Oh, how I could relate to Rafi. In this series, I think he's the most relatable for me. I come from a single parent, working class background and grew up with limited economic options. I was very lucky to grow up in a country and a time where I still had the opportunity to study, but I do know how sometimes, when you think something is out of your reach, you just learn to tell yourself you do not really want that. I've had wonderful opportunities in my life, but I had never had the opportunity to be careless with money. And trying to fit in and understand middle class people is sometimes really hard. They can be really clueless, for sure.

So I read a few reviews that described Rafi as whiny, which I didn't find, at all (see above). He's under a lot of pressure, dropped in this wonderful opportunity at a prestigious college. But he doesn't know if he will get to stay more than one year if he doesn't perform academically AND athletically (is that a word?), and keeps his nose clean. He is (on good grounds) worried that he will be seen as the token POC, not there on his own merits. But the way the system works, he would probably never have had the chance on his own merits, since not all high schools are the same and the rich white kids have had every advantage, throughout their whole lives. It's like navigating an unknown land without a map and with strange rules you don't know, but everyone else does.

I loved the scene where Denny describes Rafi's food and music as ethnic, without thinking that actually, everything is ethnic. To him, quilts and fudge are just normal things. But see, everything is ethnic. Majority culture isn't somehow neutral.

So. I think this is a brilliant book, that really makes me respect the author even more than I did before.
Profile Image for Sonia ~Ruber's fiancé in Crystal Court universe~.
358 reviews7 followers
September 6, 2015



I'm torn about this book... I can't decide between 2,5 stars or 3...

Rafi is one big whiny bitch and he annoyed me through most of the book.. he was always complaining and being an asswhole and it was very disappointing since in the previous book he didn't seem like that.. even the beginning was nice and he seemed cool and collected and then it was like somebody else took control of his body.. ugh..

If I were to give the book 3 stars it would be for Denny, whom I loooooved. He was amazing and Rafi doesn't deserve him!!

What also annoyed me to no end was that Denny is on PrEP, a drug that you can take as a prevention for HIV and if you take it the chances of becoming infected are very slim; at the same time there was a big deal made about the fact that even though he's taking the drug he still uses condoms, witch I thought was AWESOME and cool and I was all like: whoohoo, see? safe sex still being promoted even tough an MC is taking the PrEP and then BAM.. they decide to have unprotected sex.. why? Cause Denny is in on the drug.. WHAT? UGH!!! Almost DNF right then... STUPID!!!!!!! STUPID MOVE!!!

I don't know....I still enjoyed the book some, so...but no, 2.5 stars it is.
Profile Image for Erin Books.
152 reviews6 followers
August 28, 2015
I loved this book. For me, this series has gotten better with each book. I saw a lot of reviews saying that Rafi is unsympathetic, that he goes back and forth too many times, that he's not the confident kid that we saw in The Girl Next Door...and yeah. He isn't. That's the entire point of the book. He's scared and out of place and young and dealing with an alien environment with nobody who truly understands what he's going through. Is he a total ass sometimes? Sure. But I think he's an ass in the way a 21 year-old kid WOULD be, if that makes sense. I remember being that age and just watching dumb shit flying out of my mouth at every turn.



I just really loved this. I think Cousins' writing has grown in leaps and bounds; I think she writes crazy hot sex and likeable characters and good families and real damn women. Women who are multifaceted and important and don't solely exist to support the men. She's fast becoming an insta-buy for me, and I can't wait for the next book.
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