Cruel To Be Kind is the true story of Max, aged 6. He is fostered by Cathy while his mother is in hospital with complications from type 2 diabetes. Fostering Max gets off to a bad start when his mother, Caz, complains and threatens Cathy even before Max has moved in. Cathy and her family are shocked when they first meet Max. But his social worker isn’t the only one in denial; his whole family are too.
Cathy Glass is a bestselling British author, freelance writer and foster carer. Her work is strongly identified with both the True Life Stories and Inspirational Memoirs genres, and she has also written a parenting guide to bringing up children, Happy Kids, and a novel, The Girl in the Mirror, based on a true story. Glass has worked as a foster career for more than 20 years, during which time she has fostered more than 50 children. Her fostering memoirs tell the stories of some of the children who came in to her care, many of whom had suffered abuse. The first title, Damaged, was number 1 in the Sunday Times bestsellers charts in hardback and paperback. Her next three titles, Hidden, Cut and The Saddest Girl in the World, were similarly successful, all reaching the bestseller charts. The name "Cathy Glass" is a pseudonym for author Lisa Stone.
I have always been a fan of this ladies books and how she portrays herself, plus her experiences over the years with different children she has fostered and minded whilst that child's parent or parents were unable to do so for all sorts of reasons.
With Max, it was because his mother had to stay in hospital due to having two toes amputated. His older sisters were looking after him but they went out one night leaving him alone.
Max comes to your attention as a young pleasing polite boy who is only too ready to please, the most outstanding part of it all is he is obese and being so young wears clothes several years older than his age which have to be hemmed up. His mother was only folding them up to fit him but Cathy when she had to buy some clothes for him to fit several years above what he needed for size, she actually sewed them up to fit him.
We learn from Cathy Glass there are many things a foster carer can and cannot do from her previous books on this but if you have not read one of her books before it will be explained however, if you have already read one of her books before, be alert to know she retells the do's and don't of foster care and making logs for health, school, care, appointments etc.
One thing stood out to me, the extend we are 'overtold' about Max weight. Although she played it down around the children and indeed Max himself, I felt the inner self of Cathy came out above and beyond what was already apparent to us readers. That she was concerned about his health, of course, but also the way she pointed out his sisters were overweight too and the amount of sweets on the hospital bed, OK that was good but just a little too much on the emphasis for my personal taste. But I later learnt why, the darkness in this story doesn’t become apparent until much later on. It really hit me to the core because I’ve been fat all my life. I have been overweight all my life and this touched several nerves.
Apart from that I did enjoy the story, but it did grate a bit, I think most of us readers can see that Max needed to get healthier. I admire Cathy for taking this seriously as when children are young they need to be taught, to be educated about nutritional values just as much as any maths, history or other lesson.
My thanks goes to Harper Element for providing me with my personal copy.
Cathy came across as smug and patronising in this book. She made me cringe with her ignorance and prejudiced attitude towards those of us who struggle with food and weight. l also didn't believe a lot of the story ....and in fact i felt as though the whole book was fictional.
Cathy is a foster carer who writes books which tell the true stories of the children who come to stay with her. This particular book is about Max, a remarkably serene 6-year old child who comes from a troubled background and needs some respite care.
I was really looking forward to this book as I have read books by other foster carers in the past and have found them to be both fascinating and inspiring. On some levels this book did not disappoint. Max’s story was a very interesting, if difficult one and despite the heartbreaking details which were revealed about his background and home life, he remained stalwart throughout and coped with everything that was thrown in his direction with astonishing composure. One particularly nice touch is that we hear what happens to him later on in life, many years after the time frame in which this story is set, and this is a really nice addition to the story as that information is often not available.
However, I was disappointed with various other aspects of the book. I don’t know if it was a typical Cathy Glass book as I have not read any others but I had a problem with her attitude to so many things. Max was undoubtedly overweight and this seemed to be a huge issue for Cathy herself, who became almost obsessed with it. She also frequently came across as being both patronising and condescending, and seemed naïve on occasions, often saying things along the lines of “surely his Mother would….” when it was quite obvious that actually his Mother wouldn’t. My final criticism (and I realise that I am sounding like a moaning nitpicker here – sorry about that) is that there is too much detail and too much repetition. For example, when Cathy puts the children in the car, do we really need to know that she checks that their seatbelts are securely fastened – and not just once, but on various occasions. There are quite a few similar examples which, unfortunately, gave me the impression that Cathy was more concerned with ensuring that readers thought that she was a good foster carer than she was about telling the child’s story. Parts of the book did seem more like a manual for foster carers than the story of a disturbed little boy.
Based purely on this book, the only one I have read by this author, I would probably not go out of my way to read more by Cathy Glass in the future. This is purely a personal opinion but I think there are other authors out there who do a more sensitive job of writing about their experiences.
A must buy must read, to read as a reading day or part of a book club or If you are thinking of fostering children, Cathy Glass gives you the right information that you need. Fostering includes the whole family, so everyone has to be fully committed. Foster carers are required to keep a daily record of the child or children that you may be looking after. The daily log will include appointments the child's health and well-being,education, significant events and any disclosures the child may make about their past. When the child leaves the record you have made is placed on file of the social services. Many children who come into care have unsafe and dangerous behaviour because of their early experiences. The child's social worker will call round and usually wants to see the child alone incase there are any issues the child wants to raise and didn't feel comfortable mentioning in front of their carer. Cruel To Be Kind is about Max a six-year-old boy that weighs eight stone where he movements have become restricted. His teeth are decaying and he has to wear age twelve year old clothes. Max an intelligent and charming boy is staying with foster carer Cathy Glass while his mother recovers in hospital after having two toes amputated. A must buy must read.
It's such a heartbreaking story! I couldn't stop crying on the last few chapters. I'm speechless, dunno what to say. This book is really great. I'm truly deeply in love with this book. This is kind of story you must read. I'm amazed with what Cathy has done. Can't wait to read another book by her! She's so inspiring! Love it!
I always enjoy Cathy's books but this one didn't leave me feeling the same as others. The story follows a young boy who is brought into care after being left home alone by his older siblings when his mother was in hospital. The child and his family have weight issues and as someone who has struggled her whole life with this myself, I did find that Cathy came across as very judgemental, whilst seemingly trying not to be. The story was very much about how the child kept wanting to eat and how she had to stop him - which yes, I think was in his best interests but it came across condescending in many ways. I will put it this way... I was thinking....so if Cathy Glass ever met me, she wouldn't see me as the person I am but would be having a dialogue in her mind about my weight being unhealthy. This is seen even years later when the young boy visits her and shows pictures of his sisters and she comments on all their weight losses or issues sort like - oh they are still fat...at least that is how it came across.
Max is 6 and is going to live with Cathy Glass, foster carer, because his mother is in hospital and his father isn't looking after him properly. For properly, read, at all.
I usually enjoy Cathy's books, but this one was annoying. Max was six, but he had conversations like he was 14. I don't know if Cathy paraphrases, but honestly, he was talking like a grown up at times, he did nothing but read in his room and eat.
The mother was the typical "don't tell me how to raise my son" type, it was all a bit cliched. Max is massively overweight when he arrives and Cathy naturally starts helping him to lose weight.
I just found it all a bit impossible. The conversations with little kids is just unlikely. I know kids can be really eloquent, even at a young age (I have one myself, he never stops talking), but this was unrealistic.
Cathy Glass's style is quite hard to read at times - she writes every tiny boring detail! I found her come across as somewhat judgemental in this book, too.
Ive always enjoyed this authors books as true life and you can't believe how some children have to go through so much and how Cathy can turn them around. It shows how sometimes you have to be crawl but in the long run its for the best for the child's health and life. Cathy is a foster carer and she has her own two children she gets a phone call to say a mother has been taken into hospital due to having toes removed and she's letting her child come into care and agrees to it. When Max arrives she can't get over how over weight he is but the social workers don't seem to think it's a problem. Him mother rings her and says she to let him eat what he wants and she's not happy. She gets him to have a health medical as children do when they come into care and the dr says he's to loose weight. Sadly she comes up with a plan but the mother isn't happy but as she comes home and thinks her child will come home more is revealed that keeps him in care for longer. Can she get max to loose weight and is she able to reach out to the mother and they can both help with all the children loosing weight. A great read.
To say I was expecting a different story is a massive understatement. Same title, totally different genre. That being said, I will read almost anything so I gave it a go.
How many times do we need to be told how massively fat this poor kid is? Once was enough, everyone knows what a fat kid looks like and that a totally sedentary 6 year old isn't going to be a star athlete. But the author just grinds the point to dust. It just reads like there's an obvious, linear approach to the "obesity epidemic " if all the fatties would just stop slamming sweets all the time. I wanted to like the book because I really like Max. A sweet kid who just needs some attention from people who understand him. But all of the adults can stuff it.
This book like the others that I've read by Cathy Glass grabbed and held my attention. Her books rarely end how I think they will. It's awful to read these books and remember that they are not fictitious and then to feel dreadfully sorry for the families involved. There is something memorising about the way Cathy tells her stories and I will no doubt soon read another of her books.
Another amazing but tragic read from the fantastic Cathy Glass. Feels like I am by her side going through the emotions when reading her books and also lovely that we can then read updates on her website and it a doesn't end with the book. We'll done for all your hard work Cathy xx
This novel feels very outdated. I can tell it's an older story as Cathy's bio children are 2 and 6 years old in it and she hasn't adopted her third daughter yet. All of her children are now adults.
But this novel was first published in 2017, not the 80s or 90s despite how it sounds.
If you have ever struggled with disordered eating or an eating disorder, DO NOT read this. It's extremely triggering. Cathy internally fat shames the young boy she is the foster carer for and his teenaged sisters.
The fact Cathy writes that she and the 2 female social workers she is working with could lose a few extra pounds was disturbing to me. How is this judgement relevant?????
Reading this novel made me feel insecure and self conscious about my own body which I doubt was the intention of the novel.
The ideas about weight, dieting and health in this novel are outdated and extremely toxic.
I have read a couple of similiar books by Casey Watson, also a Foster Mother who writes about some of the interesting cases that she has dealt with. I kept reading because I wanted to find out how things turned out for Max the child at the centre of this story but there were a few things that bothered me though : There just seemed to be way too much detail, down to exactly what was eaten at each meal, for example, making this read more like fiction. I also felt that "Cathy" (a pseudonym, I believe.) seemed to be clarifying every single thing she did, making herself seem to be absolutely faultless as a Foster Mother/Carer and parent of her own 2 young children which made her seem to me to be "too good to be true". I did like how at the end years later Max makes contact with Cathy and we get to find out about how things turned out for Max and his family.
Mixed feeling! Heart sinking at the first then gradually what a heartwarming story. I love this book! When saying no do really can save one life and the whole family. Sometimes we need to be cruel because not everybody know what is best for them. The story about the journey of fostering child with obesity and with some surprises that the whole family got abused by the person who supposed to be a good husband and father. The dilemma as the carer who tried her best to do the right thing but got against from the child family. The trauma from the childhood and being haunted by the feeling “I am not worthy “ and “I don’t deserve it” which ended up making the oneself getting rotten and weakened then lost her self esteem. I felt my heartbroken for the Max family story but also found the heartwarming feeling when Cathy and her children can manage to keep showering love to the needed one especially for Max. It was sad that Max mother passed away due to her illness (the complications from the obesity) but its encouraging when she can fight up and be brave for her family. Nothing can compare to the courageous moment when someone try to walk out from her/his darkest trauma. I called it the power of women who already a mom. But it was a happy ending when the obese Max can grow up to be the adult Max who is healthy and fit. From the 6 yo boy who cried (felt so upset) because he can’t ride the bike due to his body to the 20 yo young man who very confident and showing off he is learning to ride the bike in the one of excellence university. It’s not what happened to your life but it’s about how your response to your life that making who you are. Gonna hunt some of her books because I fell in love with the character and her journey. We have some concerns about children and I would like to learn from her, just by read the book I already got inspired and learned so many things.
I'm on a Cathy Glass kick. We have several of her books at the library and they are each interesting stories about the children she's fostered in the UK. Max is a 6 year old little boy who was placed voluntarily into foster care by his mother who had to have 2 toes amputated. He was supposed to be looked after by his teen sisters and father, but the sisters went out one night and the father left for the pub and Max was left alone. As it often is, Cathy was called for emergency services, and prepared to meet little Max. Except Max wasn't little. He weighed about 119 pounds and wore the clothes of a 13-14 year old. He was so obese that he could barely walk from the car to the house. His social worker was so rushed and anxious she didn't even notice his physical state but stated that his mother stressed that he must not go hungry and Cathy must take him to the hospital for an hour and a half every evening to see his mother who would check to make sure that he was being fed "properly." Going to the hospital every night was a chore for Cathy and her two young children because they had to wait in the lobby downstairs. Cathy met Max's mother who was hateful, and resentful of Cathy's care and demanded that Cathy bring a bag of candy to them each evening. In addition, the 3 teen girls each brought a bag of candy and the 4 children and mother ate them all each evening. Max turned out to be a sweet, very intelligent little boy. Cathy worked to gain trust of his mother and to help him learn healthy eating habits. I enjoyed this book.
I found this book a really interesting read. I have been interested in fostering for a couple of years now and my friend subsequently lent me this book.
The story is written by a Foster carer who fosters an obese boy, and the book follows the journey from when the boy arrives to when he is a fully grown adult. As I have thought about having a similar career path to the author, I was incredibly interested in any insights the book gave, which I am pleased to say were plenty.
Initially I was concerned that a foster carer could write about one of her foster children, however details concerning identity have been adapted to avoid any issues.
The book is well written and I found very little errors; literally two or three grammatical mistakes but nothing major. These did not affect the enjoyment of the book and especially toward the end I found that I could not put the book down.
As a potential foster carer, the book was insightful and informative and gave me a idea of what fostering would be like, especially in relation to my family's needs coming second and that regular contact with the foster child's family is highly likely. Also I was not aware you could foster as a single parent, so I learnt something from the book.
It is definitely a book I would recommend to anyone thinking about fostering, or to anyone who enjoys reading about children who have had a difficult upbringing.
I would definitely read more books by Glass. I rate this book 4 out of 5.
enjoy Cathy Glass books and order every single one. However, CG has written quite a number of fostering memoirs by now and perhaps should change her 'formula' a little. I know they are true accounts, but I think her loyal readers are probably used to things like her routine with the new foster child, dealing with social services, the daily school schedule so that could be condensed except for what's pertinent to this story etc. I would also like to read a more recent memoir since I believe CG still fosters.I did enjoy the recent news of Max at the end of the book
I liked the story of Max, an endearing child with a sad family situation and at risk for health issues. CG was wonderful to help him and encourage him in a "PC' manner. However, I do think the normal amount of food even the health- conscious Glass family partakes of, is a lot! My kids when young could never eat a sandwich, crisps, fruit and yogurt just for lunch, and have an ice cream cone as a mid-morning snack, or second servings and dessert at every dinner.!! JMO. I liked the story and its promising ending for Max. I will continue to read CG books but do hope there are newer ones that will allow us to see where Cathy's family is now and if social services have improved any!
This is such a heartbreaking true story of overweight Max who was assigned to be temporarily taken care by Cathy, a foster carer with experience of over 25 years, until his mother was discharged from the hospital, and the truth behind his family's problems which was much more complex than simply over eating.
It was beautifully written, told in Cathy's point of view (which I like rather than in third person's as it helps me easier to experience her emotions). This book also covered a lot of fostering information, definitely a page-turner, and would left you emotionally drained. I even sobbed when sharing this story to my friend because in my opinion, what has happened to Max was just too much for a six-year-old little boy to cope with. Having to deal with distressing family and health problems in his entire life, he was far more resilient than his age, which I think I wouldn't be able to even in my current state. Moreover, the saddest thing is none of his family members are bookish except him, and they didn't support him reading books at all, so he could just borrow books from school library and read it quietly in his bedroom everyday.
My favourite quote from this book is "Sometimes you had to be cruel to be kind, as kids don't always know what's best for them."
I always enjoy Cathy glass books but I am starting to question how genuine they truly are and how she portrays the families she works with compared to her own.
This book in particularly came across as very judgemental, she always mentioned looking past max’s weight and not making him conscious but then would make sly comments as “thoughts”
It just doesn’t seem the genuine caring person she has been in previous books.
It also puts a bad taste in my mouth how she constantly comments how perfect her own children are, how tolerant they are to other children. Which I am sure is true but it doesn’t seem necessary to remind the reader constantly.
Besides this, it was a heart warming story even with the the tragedy of Poor Max’s mum. I’m glad we heard at the end how Max had turned himself around and was able to share updates from his family (although I found it hard to believe he would have criticised his sisters quiet as much as Cathy wrote)
I've read many of the Cathy Glass books and find them informative and emotional. The blurb on the back of this one gives a hint that Max in not comparable to any other child CG has looked after which sounds intriguing and I love that it doesn't give the story away. Her writing has a simple style which makes it very easy to read and there is never any hidden agenda. To keep the reader's attention there are usually hooks at the end of each chapter, making you want to start the next one immediately. Max is a lovely little boy and this story made me think a lot about the nature vs nurture debate. He has had a tough start in life but reading seems to offer him an escape route which is lovely to see. I'm sure that the publishers struggle with the titles for these books and I'm not convinced that this is the best summary of the story as it is melodramatic but I guess that sells books?
Cathy Glass has been my favourite author for a while now, I read her books in couple of days! A remarkable woman, over 25 years of fostering, carer to more than 150 children.
Another outstanding true story that I couldn’t put down. There are many interesting issues talked about and faced in this book including abuse, poor health, being a social worker and single parent foster carer, and consequences of weight problems for children and adults. This heart breaking and real story will have you gasping with shock. Cathy Glass showed Max how to be himself no matter what his size and taught him to love food as well as being healthy. Many of Cathy’s stories including this one, may possibly encourage a reader to become a foster carer, even think about particular issues such as changing diet for the better or opening up about abuse. Max’s mother had a childhood secret of her own and this book can be a useful tool for readers who have been abused themselves - possibly speak up, see a councillor, have courage to leave the abuser.