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14 pages, Audiobook
First published December 19, 2017
I just feel so lonely. I feel like everyone on earth is paired up with somebody but me.
Louisa watched her go, her desperation draining away. Juliet was right. Louisa didn’t deserve her. Not yet. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t change.
A laugh bubbles from my throat before I can stop it, because if Dirk were here instead, it would make no difference. “I’m not choosing you,” I say. “I’m choosing me.”
Who cares that we can’t understand each other? Love transcends language. Transcends culture.
I am frozen. The wind snaps around us, the waves sing beneath us, and I am terrified that my next move will be the wrong one. Behind me stands Dra—the person I’ve only ever known in my future, but who is promise and possibility and every tantalizing unknown—asking me to stay on the cliff, not to jump. In front of me is An—the person I’ve known nearly all my life, and who is the surest thing about it, the future I’ve always determined for myself, for my mind—holding out her hand, asking me to leap with her, because no matter where we go or what we do, we’ll be together.
It’s hard for me to say if I’m gay or straight or bi. I’ve never been in a real relationship, but I do know that I like kissing ’em both. Nobody’s made my chest hiccup like Annie tonight, though. And that realization is something I don’t know how to process. I don’t know what it means. Maybe it’s just our history together that confused everything.
And Edie realized: Evan only liked her when she was lonely. Chris only liked her when she was happy. But Kate . . . Kate just liked Edie.
“You said it would be you and me. You said nothing would come between us. You said you would love me forever.”
“I know I did.”
“So . . . ?”
“Things change.”
That they do.
Then Sam is kissing me the way he kissed me months ago, the way I hope he will kiss me again and again. And I don’t think of Félix at all.
There’s a certain kind of magic to being a kid with someone. They always have this little private piece of you. They own your heart, even if you don’t remember giving it to them.
You’ll never know all of anybody. But you can love what you know about them
We cried, Farah and I, angry and mournful and even laughing at how we both wanted him and both wanted each other, and mostly just that we were so full of wanting we might die.
The truth is, I know what Cas looks like when he’s falling in love. I saw it when he fell in love with me. And now I have to watch as he falls in love with someone else.