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The Painted Gun

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2018 Shamus Award A “tricky and delightfully surprising crime novel” set at the dawn of the digital age in San Francisco (Publishers Weekly).

It’s 1997, and the dotcom boom is going strong in San Francisco. But ex-journalist and struggling alcoholic David “Itchy” Crane's fledgling “information consultancy” business is getting slowly buried by bad luck, bad decisions, and the growing presence of the Internet. Before he can completely self-destruct, a private investigator offers him fifty grand to find a missing girl named Ashley. Crane takes the job because the money’s right and because the only clue to her disappearance is a dead-on oil portrait of Crane himself—painted by the mysterious missing girl whom he has never met.

As Crane’s search for Ashley becomes an obsession, he stumbles upon a series of murders, for which he begins to fear he's being framed...

“Spinelli deftly segues from one genre to another—from hard-boiled noir to paranoid thriller, puzzle mystery (with each and every riddle logically explained), spy caper, and ultimately to something evocative of Bogart and Bacall. Spinelli is definitely a talent to watch.”—Publishers Weekly

“A neat little post-modern mash-up of Chandler and Hammett...[Spinelli’s] got wit and style up the wazoo.”—Thrilling Detective

“The Painted Gun is hardboiled like they don’t make anymore. Whiplash twists, razor-sharp prose, an addictive narrative—I couldn’t read it fast enough.”—Rob Hart, author of The Warehouse

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 7, 2017

7 people are currently reading
639 people want to read

About the author

Bradley Spinelli

3 books23 followers
Bradley Spinelli’s latest novel is the noir The Painted Gun (Akashic 2017). His debut novel Killing Williamsburg launched with a live set by DJ Questlove, won the 2013 Naked Girls Reading Literary Honors, and was excerpted in Sensitive Skin and Ampersand Review. He is the writer/director of the film #AnnieHall, which the Village Voice called “fascinating.”

Spinelli contributes to New York Magazine’s Bedford + Bowery and has penned guest posts for Writer’s Digest and Mandy Boles. Under the name J.D. Oxblood, he co-founded the world-renowned burlesque magazine Burlesque Beat, and has contributed to 21st Century Burlesque, Burlesque Magazine, Zelda, and the Shakespeare journal Borrowers & Lenders.

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5 stars
40 (18%)
4 stars
73 (33%)
3 stars
72 (32%)
2 stars
28 (12%)
1 star
8 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
Profile Image for Melisende.
1,246 reviews146 followers
February 7, 2017
Where does one begin?? Heart-pumping read with more twists and turns than a carnival ride. Just when you think you've got a hold of the plot, a white rabbit appears, and you chase it down a seemingly unrelated rabbit-hole.

The case - a missing girl - straight-forward story line - find the girl, solve the mystery. Wrong! And this is where this talented author uses smoke and mirrors to confuse and confound the reader - the art of misdirection at its best. The conclusion - unexpected, totally.

This book reads like a famous movie that the author references! High praise indeed!
Profile Image for Sunil.
1,044 reviews152 followers
April 10, 2017
After participating in a fun City Lights book release event in which I reenacted a scene from this book in front of the author himself, I wanted to read it and find out what happened to my character. Maybe he got a happy ending! (This is noir. No one gets a happy ending.)

The Painted Gun is set in San Francisco in 1997, where we meet David "Itchy" Crane, a disgraced journalist-turned-private investigator—excuse me, information broker—who is offered a cool twenty-five grand upfront to find a mysterious artist named Ashley. Money like that can pay a lot of bills, but he's got more than money driving him once he sees one of Ashley's paintings.

She's painted him. In his house. Depicting a scene she could not possibly have witnessed.

As Crane investigates, the bodies begin to drop, the plot thickens, and he finds himself drawn into a conspiracy so bananas it is actually about bananas.

The Painted Gun is fun, especially for a Bay Area reader, as Bradley Spinelli describes locations with pinpoint accuracy. Sometimes too much accuracy, as the details in the book can go a bit overboard and feel more like showing off research. When they help portray Crane as a man who's lived in the city all his life and knows its history, they can be helpful, but often gratuitous street names simply made for less than smooth reading. Similarly, another location featured in the book is described in great detail, and it's a place I've never been to, so I appreciated that the author clearly knew what he was talking about while also not particularly caring about every little thing.

The book adheres to most of the common noir tropes. Crane is an alcoholic chainsmoker, women are pretty much victims or sex objects or both (I was disappointed there was no real femme fatale, though Spinelli does use one of that archetype's typical elements), confrontations with hit men and cops, you know the drill. While there isn't much subversion here, I did enjoy the way Spinelli used the time and place to spin a unique story on a well-worn loom. I wanted to get to the bottom of what the hell was going on as much as Crane did, and the last third packs some very nice plot twists that pull a lot of threads together. I wasn't super emotionally invested, though I was surprised how much I cared about one character's death.

The Painted Gun is a fast-paced noir thriller with a well-crafted mystery. It's not reinventing the wheel, but it's a good ride all the same.
Profile Image for Peggy.
174 reviews
September 11, 2017
Loved the book. It's a quick read because the story line grabs your attention by the end of the first Chapter. I was curious to find out who Ashley is and how could she possible paint those personal scene of "Itchy". The need to know drove me through this story. The time line was fun to relive, pre-computer era.
Profile Image for Vera.
293 reviews
February 15, 2017
I received an ARC of this book from Akashic Books, and I'm very glad I got a chance to read it. It is a super quick read; it is fast-paced and fun, and it keeps you guessing until the end! I enjoyed the twists and turns in the plot, and the relationships between the characters turned out to not be what I expected at all. I really enjoy mysteries in which I can't guess who did it or what the ending is going to be, and I would definitely put The Painted Gun in that category. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys hard-boiled mystery novels.
Profile Image for Tamsen.
71 reviews2 followers
August 4, 2017
What a read! Itchy kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Great gum shoe dialog and word play. Admittedly I am from San Francisco so I thoroughly enjoyed remembering the City's locations. But you don't need to know SF to enjoy this fast-paced plot that honors the hard-boiled detective genre in the very best way.
Profile Image for Anita Horan.
Author 3 books19 followers
March 14, 2021
I really enjoyed this audiobook. The main character was engaging, the story moved a good pace, it was unpredictable and unique. The narration was great.
Profile Image for Diana.
715 reviews9 followers
February 7, 2017
A ‘Thank You’ to Akashic Books for this advance reading copy of THE PAINTED GUN by Bradley Spinelli.
A noir mystery. Very gritty, crisp, classic-style narrative. Very atmospheric - exudes a great sense of place (in both California and Guatemala). Unpredictable, deranged, shady characters. An international plot line.
1997 San Fransisco. Disgraced, self-destructive, ex-journalist, David ‘Itchy’ Crane, receives a call from a LA investigator, McCaffrey. McCaffrey will send a $25,000 cash advance to Crane in exchange for opening up a missing person case. His instructions - Find Ashley. The first name and a painting is all Crane has to go on. Extraordinarily, the painting is a perfect likeness of himself, by an artist (Ashley) he has never met.
The narrative ‘kept me on my toes’ - it was fast-paced and full of unexpected twists. I liked the tie-in with Guatemala and United Fruit.
An excellent mystery noir.
55 reviews
February 10, 2017
This is an outstanding novel by an author well worth watching. Spinelli admits his Chandler influence, and that's blatantly obvious in his prose. But this is a rare example of that not coming off as parody. It's the real thing!!! Few writers are able to breathe life into characters as thoroughly as this, and together with a complex, believable, and accelerating plot and vivid settings, it has all the attributes to make it a classic. This is the best detective novel I've come across in years. I can't recommend it highly enough. I'll be waiting in line for his next.
8 reviews1 follower
October 29, 2019
I generally like crime books but I felt this book was overly corny and almost trying to hit every boring plot line.

The idea of a patsy for murders was unique and the Guatemalan tie could have been interesting but it wasn’t earned for me and didn’t go anywhere.

Too many times I was left wondering if the dialogue was just corny and unimaginative or was some crazy form of advanced satire. I couldn’t believe it was the latter so this book was disappointing to me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Madison.
11 reviews
November 12, 2020
That was god awful... and so cheesy and unrealistic. I get it, Ashley is beautiful. But that was literally the plot. Ashley is apparently so beautiful that people instantaneously fall in love with her and are willing to kill people to be with her. *Eye roll*
10 reviews
September 20, 2017
Amazing talent

A real page Turner. I Loved it from beginning to end. Can't wait for next one written for moms. .
Profile Image for Zoey M.
101 reviews2 followers
November 4, 2019
It started out really good, but it got worse the further into it I read.
Profile Image for Tony.
1,736 reviews99 followers
July 11, 2017
Set in the dawn of the San Francisco Bay-area tech boom some twenty years ago, this has a lot of the tone and mood of a much older pulp crime novel. I picked it up mainly for the San Francisco setting (I lived there for about two years in the early 2000s) and the first chapter hooked me enough to dive in. "Itchy" Crane is a classic pulp antihero -- a former newspaperman now working as a private information consultant. Based in his South San Francisco bungalow, he likes his smokes, whiskies, and vintage convertible, but he's barely scraping by. When a deadbeat former employer overnights him a $25,000 retainer to find a missing woman, he's suspicious, but can't afford to turn that kind of money away. The catch is that the only info about the woman is that her name is "Ashley."

That's kind of neat premise to start things on, and when he sees a portrait by Ashley of himself in a private moment he's completely flummoxed as to how this unknown woman could have painted it. That's also interesting as a gimmick, except that once another painting turns up of a similar vein it should be blindingly obvious how this is being done. And without spoiling the story, there's a related bit of storytelling jujitsu that's required for the story to work, but feels completely false. In any event, the book has some really nice local flavor and some fun supporting characters. There's the imposing female gun range owner, two buddy computer geeks, a Samoan tough guy who doesn't really want to be tough, and so forth.

I was pretty happy for about 2/3 or so, but then the book kind of skidded out of control for me. I don't like it when my private eyes start crossing paths with the CIA and FBI. It was set up early in the story, so doesn't come out of the blue, but the story's dive into the CIA's operations in Guatemala in the 1950s never felt organic. I like the sentiment and use of the crime genre to help expose a dark misdeed in US history, but it just took the story way off-course for me. Overall, worth a look if you're interested in late '90s San Francisco color, and a fresh take on classic pulp tropes. I'd definitely give Itchy another chance even though this one didn't end in way I found particularly satisfying.
579 reviews14 followers
March 10, 2017
Read my full review here: http://mimi-cyberlibrarian.blogspot.c...

In order to truly appreciate The Painted Gun by Bradley Spinelli, you need to be aware of the definition of "noir" fiction. An article in Huffington Post suggests that the protagonist in a noir novel is a loser, "as the life that awaits them is certain to be so ugly, so lost and lonely, that they'd be better off just curling up and getting it over with." Another definition of noir fiction says that it is closely related to the "hardboiled" genre except that the protagonist is not a detective, but might be a suspect or a perpetrator. Often the protagonist is self-destructive. One of the other characteristics of the genre is the dark humor that permeates its novels. Spinelli scores on almost every aspect of the noir checklist, and I really enjoyed checking items off the list.

David "Itchy" Crane is an information consultant in 1990s San Francisco. What that means is that he is not really a private detective but someone who helps clients find necessary information. (Remember that this is before you can find every bit of information you need on the Internet.) He is hired by an acquaintance to find a lost young woman named Ashley and is paid handsomely to search for her. What Crane immediately finds out is that she is a painter who only paints one subject—David "Itchy" Crane. Yet Crane has never met her and is freaked out by the intimacy of the paintings. Of course, like most protagonists in noir and hard-boiled fiction, he becomes obsessed with finding her. Along the way to finding her, people end up dead, the CIA is somehow involved, and his journey takes him to Guatemala where he finally is able to resolve the drama.

One reviewer suggests that it would have been easy for Spinelli to slip into cliché as the plot unfolds, but that doesn't happen. Crane, himself, acknowledges that he might be slipping into cliché, but surprisingly he has enough self-awareness to know where he is headed and he embraces it. Here's a favorite line--when Crane finds out that Ashley is painting portraits of him. "The word portraits ran down the back of my neck like stray hairs in a shirt collar after a haircut."

One of the best aspects of The Painted Gun is its sense of place. The seedier sides of San Francisco are brought to life with all the expected characters, including some of the informants that Crane had used when he was a newspaper reporter. In the last chapters, Crane goes to Guatemala to finish his mission, and Guatemala comes vividly to life. This part of the novel is a bit of an anachronism. We get a history lesson into Guatemalan politics and bananas as well as a geography lesson. Frankly, I found this to be the most interesting part of the novel, although some reviewers thought the novel faltered a bit there.

Publishers Weekly calls The Painted Gun a "tricky and delightfully surprising crime novel." They also suggest that Spinelli is a "talent to watch." The book can be read in one or two sittings and is a wonderful diversion. I received it from the publisher, and it came out this week. It was a lot of fun.
272 reviews7 followers
February 22, 2017
I gave this book 4 stars because I really enjoyed it. The story and the tone is reminiscent of the 1940's detective stories and movies that are timeless. The main character, Itchy, is an ex cop who is now an information broker. This is a PI. Someone gives him a case of a missing woman who happens to be an artist. He also receives a painting by this missing woman and it turns out to be a painting of him getting a hair cut. The detail is uncanny and he did get a hair cut by this barber. He is intrigued because he never sat for a painting and he doesn't know the artist. The story continues with him going to an art gallery and seeing some more paintings of him! It's not clear if the woman he is looking for is alive or dead but he must find out either way. I would recommend this book to any one who loves a detective story.
Profile Image for Rebecca RebeccasFamAndMore.
509 reviews
April 15, 2021
This is the first book I’ve read from this author.
Wow, what an adventure! I was expecting the ending line to say that this was all a drunken dream in Guatemala. Ha!

This fast-paced story follows a journalist who drinks too much. His business is drying up and yet he’s given a chance from an old pal private investigator who is willing to pay him a lot of money to find an artist who disappeared. Unknowingly, he walks into a deadly game of cat and mouse and encounters some really shady guys. It’s 1997 and the technology isn’t all that great yet so the investigation takes some time to dig through the mysterious details.

The ending is really the only reason I knocked a star off. It was abrupt and only partially wrapped the story up.

Gary is an excellent narrator! It felt as if this was an old-time radio mystery.
TW: violence
Profile Image for catscoffeepizza.
8 reviews
January 6, 2026
the concept of saying “it’s way past my bedtime and i’m getting cranky” while actively torturing a man🧍‍♀️

half of this books is a man’s wet dream. can male writers please be less horny.
what the fuck do you mean a woman just died and you say “she was pretty hot, u fuck her?” i cannot. i hate male writers.
perhaps skip chapter nine of the audiobook. i had to pause multiple times to cringe & repeat “ew” a dozen times.

the story itself is fine i suppose. i can’t necessarily recall any good parts but it wasn’t all bad.

there are four women in this book if i recall correctly. 3/4 are in love with the mc, the fourth is a stripper in love with another man & that seems to be all if not most of their personality. so.. failed the bechdel test.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Sean McGurr.
63 reviews
June 22, 2022
I cannot recommend this book enough. A fantastic hard-boiled story taking place in San Francisco in the late 90s. We have an engaging narrator, (an information broker whose journalist career was ruined and his current business is threatened by the internet), a intriguing plot (a missing persons case that involves portraits of our narrator), and a driving plot with plenty of action along the way. Lots of surprises throughout. I look forward for more from Bradley Spinelli.
Profile Image for Jackie Martello.
322 reviews2 followers
December 4, 2025
What an outstanding piece of creative writing! The story had everything you search for in the genre. Mystery, humor, action, with terrific dialogue and an incredible utilization of the English language. The author created a wonderful almost ethereal feel to the book which increases as the reader progresses through the story. I read the book, and then listened to the audiobook and I have never heard better narration. I am looking forward to reading another novel from the author.
1 review
October 8, 2017
The Painted Gun by Bradley Spinelli came highly recommended by a friend and she was right! I became involved with Itchy, the main character, from the very start and had a hard time putting the book down until I finished it. I don’t know San Francisco well, but my friend who does, says Mr. Spinelli nailed it. I recommend The Painted Gun to anyone who needs a fun break.
Profile Image for John Marr.
503 reviews16 followers
December 26, 2017
Quality hardboiled stuff, crisply written and delightfully paced set against an all-too-rare well realized San Francisco backdrop. Damn I miss the Empress of China.

But I do have to ding it a star for the wrap up/final chapter mess of CIA conspiracies. If you really read the Bay Guardian, you'd know that PG&E was really behind it all.
Profile Image for Jude.
367 reviews
December 23, 2021
I don't normally read this genre but it was short and I had it on audiobook. It was a good plot with credible characters, at least until towards the end. It was not reasonable for Crane to act as he did towards the conclusion of the novel, and the relationship between Crane and Ashley was rather far-fetched. But the hero of this kind of genre is meant to be something of a loser....
252 reviews1 follower
November 27, 2017
Bradley Spinelli's "The Painted Gun" shows the extent an agency will go to frame a man for murder and then kills everyone, who knows too much. The story is excellent, but has with it a needless last chapter.
Profile Image for MElanie LAplante.
1 review1 follower
September 7, 2017
Although dark I had a great time reading this! I was completely absorbed and even made me laugh! Good one!!
Profile Image for JR. Forasteros.
Author 1 book75 followers
November 30, 2017
this is tough guy noir fiction at its best. I couldn't put down the book. what a fantastic surprise.
Profile Image for Jess.
159 reviews
December 15, 2017
This book was recommended to me at the library so I gave it a go; unfortunately, it turned out to not be a good fit for me.
6 reviews
April 7, 2020
Couldn't put it down

The story was very original and the writing was great. This was one of the best books I have read in a long time. I hope more books follow!
3 reviews3 followers
November 16, 2020
Pure genius! I couldn’t possibly have imagined how all the threads could come together, but wow they did! One of the best books I’ve ever read!!
Profile Image for Erin.
522 reviews10 followers
December 27, 2020
A modern take on classic hard-boiled detective fiction, with international intrigue thrown in for good measure.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews

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