An Adult with an Autism Diagnosis: A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed

by Gillan Drew

Being diagnosed with autism as an adult can be disorienting and isolating; however, if you can understand the condition and how it affects perceptions, relationships, and your relationship with the world in general, a happy and successful life is attainable. Through an introduction to the autism spectrum, and how the Level 1 diagnosis is characterised, the author draws on personal experiences to provide positive advice on dealing with life, health, and relationships following an adult diagnosis. The effect of autism on social skills is described with tips for dealing with family and personal relationships, parenting, living arrangements, and employment. Important topics include disclosure, available resources, and options for different therapeutic routes. On reading this book, you will learn a lot more about the autism spectrum at Level 1, be able to separate the facts from the myths, and gain an appreciation of the strengths of autism, and how autism can affect many aspects of everyday life. Drawing from the author's lived experience, this book is an essential guide for all newly diagnosed adults on the autism spectrum, their families and friends, and all professionals new to working with adults with ASDs.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Adult

175 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 21, 2017

Reviews

[Flik Foster · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF'd after reading half of this. Much of the information is outdated and ableist, e.g. the idea that the autism spectrum is a straight line from 'not very autistic' to 'very autistic'.

[Debbie · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is harmful! Not only it uses people-first language and functioning labels, it also depicts autism as an overall negative condition and completely disregards all the struggles we have gone through to show how it's a part of us and we can be proud of it. It has some relevant pieces of information, I'm not trying to say it's complete garbage, but I felt bad reading it and it might be the first book someone reads after their diagnosis, which could give them the wrong idea. Even though the author says it's not a disease, it's treated as one throughout the book and it's presented in a very one-sided POV. This book is NOT OKAY.

[Seanán Mac · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's fine, extremely light, as in if you are Lvl 1 ASD, well you've likely taken in most of the information in this book in reading up on the condition once it clicked that you may have it.

The advice is a solid though a bit useless in places, author has had regular work, is married with children (the section on romance also hand waves away the issue of how to find partners with "there are websites for that", dude there are websites for literally everything you can think of, that doesn't mean you can get away with not writing your college essay because the wikipedia page has the subject mostly covered) and has care workers who pop in daily to help. As with most marginalised groups it seems it's the ones from the upper echelons of society who get to speak for the rest and tell us how to live on the assumption we all have it as easy as they do, which is especially frustrating as it has a huge factor in determining what can and can't be done. There is little or nothing on executive functioning skills (there's a bit on lists, lists!!!!), which though the book was written in the spirit of filling a gap in books written for late diagnosed adults is a pretty glaring gap in and of itself considering there is also an utter paucity in material on executive functioning aimed at adults out there, and there is a total vacuum of books aimed at the adult autistic fuck up (no relationships, no job, living on own or with parents etc.). Namely that address the issue with being way behind your non-autistic peers in developing as an adult despite the fact that in many fields you may indeed be more capable than said peers in many respects, how to understand and manage your nature so that you may reorganise yourself to play to your strengths in such a way you may overcome that gap. That book, which is being cried out for doesn't appear to exist. instead we get married, well off, stable, comfortable, in other words completely atypical lvl 1s writing books on how to live for other lvl 1s, who have no such thing.

All in all covers the bases, might be better as a book to give to NTs to explain the condition from an aspergic POV, I'd imagine the vast majority of lvl 1s (personally can't stand the infantile term 'aspie') will know everything here.

[Jade · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointed this was recommended to me, because the constant use of the terms "Asperger's", "high functioning" and underlying assumption all readers would be diagnosed as Lvl 1 like the author made my skin crawl. The narrative around relationships as the autistic party usually being abusive when we are so easily manipulated and abused by others was incredibly upsetting and made me feel horrible. This also read at parts like a guide in how to mask to fit into society better when I wanted to learn more about the unmasking journey that people go on to become more comfortable and accepting of their identity as an autistic person.

[chad chrysanthemum · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a pretty short and direct nonfiction book but so many of the reviews are pissing me off that I'm going to review those instead.

Claim: The language used is harmful
Response: This book is almost 10 years old, and acknowledges at the beginning that it was written during a time of change in the words used to refer to autism. When it was first suggested to me that I had autism, I was told "You probably have Asperger's". I remember that time well. Do I love the term "Aspie" being used throughout? Not really. I find it infantilizing and a little odd. Do I think that someone 10 years ago using the language that made sense to them completely precludes a book from being valuable? No.

Claim: Autism is protrayed as an overall negative condition
Response: False. This book is very clear on repeating the fact that autism is a part of you, the author would not want to remove it from themselves, and that after diagnosis you may not want to change any of yourself at all. However, it is a book that very much focuses on giving you tips and information on how to navigate a condition and how it affects you. Of course it is therefore going to identify negative aspects. There is a reason autism is considered a disability and I'm tired of this discussion. It's ok if this wasn't a book for you, but Drew has the (imo reasonable) perspective that we do have to exist in a world that is mostly allistic people, and it makes sense to improve your own quality of life by navigating that as best as possible.

Claim: This book won't be useful to you as you will probably have already learned this stuff
Response: Well goody for you then. I was annoyed that after being diagnosed the only information I was given was about how other people could accommodate me, and was frustrated that I wasn't being given any actual advice. I found this useful and highlighted a lot to think on. Plus, to the people that say "this is only going to be useful to you if you're newly diagnosed" I say -- have you considered reading the title of this book?

Claim: This book suggests the autistic party is usually abusive in relationships
Response: False again! There is a whole suggestion that explains the ways you could be taken advantage of and exploited in relationships and gives advice on how to spot or navigate this. Yes, it does discuss how not being empathetic, having violent outbursts etc. can result in being abusive and ensures you consider these aspects in your relationships. That's not the same thing as saying this is always the case or that autistic people aren't at risk of being abused!

Claim: This is an awful representation of autism
Response: This is an honest representation of autism written by someone with autism. It is ok if it doesn't represent you, or have as positive a view as you would like. He writes very directly and honestly about his life and the difficulties he's had. Who are you to say that's wrong.

Claim: The book does not focus on intersectionality
Response: True! I would love to read other books that do. I liked that Fern Brady talks a lot about how being a woman intersects.

Overall, I appreciated this no frills book that talks through some key areas that might be useful to you, such as how to disclose your autism, how it might affect you at work, and how to navigate relationships. I must particularly laud Drew for not shying away from discussing sex in the same blunt way as the rest of this book. It's definitely short and even shorter for me because the chapter on parenting was not really useful to me, but I think what does exist is broadly good.

[Chad · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short basic overview of what Autism/Asperger's is and the different challenges it can pose for an adult. The actual advice for *how* to deal with those challenges seemed sparse, mostly anecdotal based on his own experience (though he does try to theorize other strategies that may be necessary depending on how one's autism manifests.)

Part of my disappointment of the "guide" part of the book may be that being 44 rather than 24, I've figured out most of the strategies already - park faraway when going to parties so that you don't get blocked in and can't leave early, have generic stock phrases prepared so that you have something to say in conversation, etc - and that I'm in the US rather than the UK and don't have some of the same services available.

The book was well organized, starting with a general overview of what autism is and divided into chapters on socializing, living alone vs with others, making and keeping friends/romantic partners, working, parenting, etc. While I found the solutions lacking, it was interesting to read about someone struggling with the same problems I have, the same confusions, and non-typical thought patterns. As someone who is newly diagnosed, I learn more about autism reading from the viewpoint of other autistics than from other sources.

The book is written in a conversational style, which makes it easy to read but somewhat off-putting of you are expecting more of a technical style. It is almost but not quite a memoir, so if you are looking for something more scientific or psychology based this might night be what you want.

I would recommend this for non-autistics who want to understand what autism is, how it affects adults who struggle with it, and how they see/think about the world.

[Sian D · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF - Out of date, harmful, patronising, and incorrect information.
I'm glad that I had prior knowledge of autism before trying to read this book, because I am educated enough to know that this is an awful representation of autism.

[Kirsty · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was fine-ish. It's outdated with the language used and I think the author may have some internalised ablism as it felt very deficit based. To say it's a short book it took me a long time to get into and through it. I wouldn't recommend it to peers or my clients.

[Trio25 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unfortunately outdated now and a lot of the book is about the 'problems' of being autistic and how to change to fit into the world more.

[Morgan Johanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend - I don’t agree with a lot of the reviews on this book. I think it’s a wonderful read into the autistic mind. He put into words a lot of things that are hard to verbalize. While his experience might not be everybody’s, he’s writing about HIS experience, with the intended audience being other adults diagnosed with autism to relate. I would absolutely recommend.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book feels like a self-help book where the audience is unclear, and the author is just the blind leading the blind. Nothing about this author's background or writing lead me to believe that he is an expert or one whose advice in these matters should be taken. He also cites no sources.

A lot of the book is just lists of things that help the author which may or may not help others, are not evidence-based, and may or may not be harmful. I will grant the author that some of the language used was more standard at the time of publication, but the ableism and insinuation that autistic people need to cater to the social habits of others was too much. And although the author says at times that autism impacts everyone differently, he makes some broad generalizations and fails to acknowledge any sort of intersectionality with autism (race, gender, sexuality, age, etc.). It actually felt a little alienating, patronizing, and dismissive at times to be told that autistic people are a certain way that I, an autistic person, am not. And don't even get me started on the concept of "high- functioning autism."

It also felt both confusing and patronizing to have so much of the book be a description of what autism is like... when the audience is supposedly adults who have been autistic their entire lives. I found myself thinking about my own approaches to things at times, but I will say nothing in this book was helpful to me. On the bright side, the author seems like a very loving and committed father.

[Katlyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I initially wanted to rate this book a bit higher, because I did find it somewhat helpful, but the librarian in me cant help but point out that it’s somewhat misleading. The author doesn’t really have any qualifications. Yes, he is autistic. However, he is talking from personal experience. At no point does he list any sources whatsoever for any of his information. He does recommend some books, but he does not say if that is where he obtained his knowledge from. He mentions that at one point that “it is not a guide for making friends or attracting romantic partners, but there are plenty of books and websites out there for that.” (Page 128) Pray tell, dear author. What are they? So anyway, if you’re looking to read this book, please take everything the author says with a grain of salt, as I am not sure how well he fact checked his information. I am fairly new to the world of autism, but others are saying some things are outdated.

I should clarify, I haven’t been formally diagnosed. My general practitioner has recently informed me that he’s absolutely positive that I have ASD Level 1, and I am looking into getting a formal diagnosis. I am grateful to have found this book, as apparently it is difficult to find one that is not aimed at parents. I really did find it helpful, for the most part, if only because it felt like someone understood me at times. However, I really don’t think Canada will provide me with a support worker or financial support, given that I’m clearly capable of holding a part-time job. Nor can I afford therapy. I’m not sure if things are different in the U.K, but I found his chapter on “Help” rather unhelpful. I’m not sure if anyone is reading this review, but if any women are, I would like to add that the subreddits r/aspergirls and r/autisminwomen are absolutely amazing!

Anyway, I got some useful information, as well as some entirely useless information. At the very least, it helped me decide not to tell everyone about my pseudo “diagnosis” unless they are, of course, a police officer. 3/5 December 18 2021

[Veronica Vasquez · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this was written in an engaging style, I found that many of the opinions held by the author didn't sit right, and in some ways could border on harmful for newly diagnosed autistic adults reading it. There was a lot of decent information, and helpful and relatable anecdotes, so I've rated it in the middle - 3 stars.

[Sharon C. Robideaux · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good perspectives

The author was diagnosed as an adult, so he has had to endure much misunderstanding, even being bullied. He relates his experiences with honesty and courage. I hope he will continue to write.

[Erin Marie]

This book is full of good general information, a good place to start the journey but must be supplemented with other resources.

[E. Prybylski · Rating 3 out of 5]

As an adult with an autism diagnosis, this book is one that came highly recommended. It is well-written, and it contains things that may be helpful for those who have not done any research on the subject and were just sort of hurled into the knowledge they were autistic without having much further research.

As an autistic adult, I highly appreciate the fact that it was written by an autistic person from the autistic POV. While the use of the term "Asperger's" (which is both out of date and challenging for many people) in the book did make me twitch a little, I also understand that how people choose to self-identify is entirely fair, so I won't fault the author for talking about herself using that word. Much as I call myself "queer" and know that word is, for some others, a problem.

The reason I found this book a 3-star review is that I didn't really get much from it personally. This is probably because I have done an incredible amount of self-study prior to getting my diagnosis (which is what led me to seek one to begin with). That being the case, I feel as though I am not exactly the target market for the book. Which I don't fault the book for, of course. My reviews are based on my personal feelings rather than a purely empirical judgment of the work.

I do feel that some of the content is a little outdated based on the current science and ways of speaking, but since the book was written in 2017 I also cannot fault it for that, either. However, I will say that there are updates to some of the science and terminology that are worth considering if you are reading this book as your first contact with your autism diagnosis.

All in all, this book is a good jumping off point and a place to start exploring your diagnosis and perhaps trying to understand your new identity. However, if you have been researching the subject for a while, you will find it a little rudimentary for your needs if you are seeking a deeper understanding.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s okay but not enough for me.
I’m not sure what it is exactly that falls short for me in this book but at the end of it I felt no the wiser in relation to my new diagnosis. Some elements were of interest though. I particularly liked the comparison to tractors and minis and the analogy of an anthropologist on mars. But something was missing.
I also would like to invite the author to review the split between counselling and psychotherapy as counselling is every bit capable to address the underlying nitty gritty in much the same way as psychotherapy can. Maybe I am a bit biased as a counsellor but that’s “my two cents”.
I suppose the main shortcoming is something the author can’t help with and is namely that for all the research contained within it resonates too faintly with a newly diagnosed woman. The bit on parenting felt particularly alien to me as I took to motherhood like a duck to water. It is very natural to me and I really do feel an emotional connection with my child that makes it easy to follow his lead. Maybe it’s all the crazy hormones that get expressed during breastfeeding but I found nothing in the parenting chapter that resonated. I guess I would also have liked a page with all the orgs and numbers with support. This would have been hugely helpful. Like author said, we’re often given a diagnosis and not so much as a leaflet to help us navigate this new aspect of our lives. I want to talk to people about my newly discovered feature, adults who can validate my experience through their stories, and I would love to hear their voices from the pages of this book but I only heard faint echoes in the mentions and references that felt almost like a hearsay or an urban tale. It’s not a bad book. Honestly it’s not. It just wasn’t all that helpful to me.

[Rai FG · Rating 2 out of 5]

Despite being published in 2017, there is a lot of outdated terminology at use in this book. While the author does have a caveat near the start explaining his use of Asperger's (given it is/was his diagnosis), it is also still using the "... functioning" terminology, and uses ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) as opposed to ASC (Autism Spectrum Condition).

The message is quite often very confused. With the author on one page saying 'no one should pressure you to be someone you're not' then on another page essentially advising others to mask and make an effort to 'fit in'. In trying to hit all the bases, it detracts from the value of shared experiences described within.

While its title suggests this is aimed at adults who have been newly diagnosed, much of the content seems geared towards young adults who have yet to go out into the world. I found some use in identifying shared experiences that I have also had but I differ strongly from the author in how I want to approach my autism and my place in the world.

This book is very restricted by the medical-model of disability that it ascribes to, which comes across as pathologizing and largely unhelpful. This may be owing to the author's US-centric experiences, I can't say for sure.

In trying to give the benefit of the doubt, I suspect this was written for one person and that was Gillan Drew. If this is what he needed to process some of his experiences, cool, but I definitely don't recommend it for others.

[Bryan Conlon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me as "accessible" as I know nothing about AS ASD Aspergers. It was very helpful for someone like me.

Chapters that were most helpful to me were:
Autism - The Basics
Autism in everyday life
General advice and tips
Autism in the workplace

The only chapters that were irrelevant to me were 7. Social and Romantic Relationships, 8. The parent with Autism. Having been more than twice the age of Gillan when I was diagnosed, these areas no longer concern me. I just wish that I too had been diagnosed at age 28 or before.

If you are already well-informed on this subject, it may not be the book for you. I have found it to be a very interesting and well explained education

[Nova · Rating 2 out of 5]

They say if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. Gillan Drew is one person with autism. As someone who was also diagnosed as an adult, I was intrigued enough to read this book. It was exactly what he billed it to be. A collection of his thoughts and a little bit of advice on different aspects of his condition. If you e wondered if you were on the spectrum for a while or if you're already diagnosed, chances are You've already read or thought of pretty much everything in this book. If you just got your diagnosis yesterday perhaps this could be a quick primer. There are better responses out there

[Emily Goode · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope im sorry but there is some damaging stuff in here. Why do you keep going on about Aspergers Syndrome now high functioning autism when that's not how it works. Without that "im autistic but not that type of autistic" attitude, I think I might suggest this book to autistic teens. But not the newly diagonsis. Simply because there are some excellent suggestions to guide them into adult life, but I think if you are newly diagnosed as an adult, you have likely worked out a lot of stuff the hard way in this book.
I can't get on board with the incorrect spectrum use im sorry.

[Chip Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very helpful book about being diagnosed on the spectrum as an adult. I had a few disagreements with some things, for example “high and low functioning”, i believe to be about one’s ability to mask their symptoms. However, overall the book made me feel seen. It felt like things I had been picked on for all my life suddenly felt like a common experience i could share with the writer. That feeling alone made the book worth it as someone on the spectrum but I think it works even better to show those that aren’t what normally goes on in our heads through everyday interactions.

[Aleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a bit outdated in language and views. Some of the more practical information starting halfway through was interesting, but all things I had picked up on by the time I was assessed. Nothing stood out as novel, although there is benefit to confirming others go through the same situations as yourself and feeling less alone in it.
I wouldn’t recommend this to someone who is newly assessed and seeking to learn more about themselves. There are much better books out there for that purpose.

[alexander shay · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are newly diagnosed, this book provides a good overview of a lot of things autism impacts, particularly relationships (both romantic and friends) and work. It goes over what autism can look like (focusing on the previously known as Level 1) and how it can affect people. But if you've been diagnosed for a while and/or done a lot of research of your own already it's unlikely you'd learn anything new information wise, but you do get some insight anecdotally through Gillan's personal examples.

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to know more about AS/ASD, both for its content and for its well-thought approach that demonstrate a deep understanding of people with AS/ASD and how to communicate with them. The book speaks to minds and hearts alike, offering ample practical advice with certain intellectual value that are very helpful for the community and their families and friends.

[Dawn Livingston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read part of this then put it down and kind of forgot about it. Just picked it up again yesterday and skimmed over the parts I'd already read before reading on. I would say this is a really good book for those diagnosed as adults, even a must have. Gives helpful info, stuff I wouldn't have thought of too. A must have for those diagnosed as adults and helpful for those that love them or are just curious.

[Megan Benfield · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are many books on autism I would recommend before this one. It reads from the white male perspective, and misses the intersectionality I want to see in these kinds of books. The way autism presents and is accepted is different along gender and race lines, and that level of detail doesn’t appear in this book. The author also uses functioning labels, which is inconsistent with community linguistic trends away from a linear binary.

[louise conquer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Clearly written for a US audience as we dont have levels of ASD over here in the UK. Outdated now although only written in 2017. Referring to outdated terminology no longer used such as high and low functioning and the term of Aspergers. Some of the chapters were good however i would love to see this with the current updated terminology , research etc and a more positive approach.so dissapointed in it.

[Luiza · Rating 3 out of 5]

Se assemelha muito mais a um relato de experiências. Não me causa raiva alguns “gaps” relacionados a multiplicidade do espectro porque logo no início o autor antecipa que trata-se de um livro voltado para os diagnosticados em nível 1. É UM relato entre os vários formatos que um relato pode existir.

Um ponto positivo é a linguagem simples e as divisões em aspectos da vida.

Se propondo a ser um guia, deixa a desejar em apresentar tópicos importantes da formação neuronal e social: as causas, o modelo poligênico e multifatorial, os traços apresentados na infância, etc. Por isso, alerto: este livro não é um guia! Ele não te ensinará a sobreviver, principalmente se você não é um homem com uma rede sólida de apoio.

[charli conway · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book contained some helpful information. apart from that it is outdated and honestly painted autistic people in such a negative light. the relationships section hurt me especially, making it seem like autistic people were terrible to be in relationships with, hard work and abusers. it’s a shame because I think good intentions were there