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The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life
The Group offers a singular perspective on grief by weaving together the latest thinking on bereavement, resiliency and post-traumatic growth with the true story of seven men who were raising children on their own after the deaths of their wives. The men connected with each almost immediately, and over the next several years forged a deep bond as their monthly meetings evolved into a forum for healing and personal reinvention that transformed them in unexpected ways.
The authors co-led the support group and partnered with the men to write their story, which is interspersed with the latest in bereavement research conveyed in an easily relatable way. The fathers' touching efforts to care for themselves, their families, and each other offers a gripping narrative that shows how each of us has the potential to rebuild new and meaningful lives. Powerful, enlightening and hopeful, The Group will help you make sense of grief and inspire you to reimagine your life moving forward.
The authors co-led the support group and partnered with the men to write their story, which is interspersed with the latest in bereavement research conveyed in an easily relatable way. The fathers' touching efforts to care for themselves, their families, and each other offers a gripping narrative that shows how each of us has the potential to rebuild new and meaningful lives. Powerful, enlightening and hopeful, The Group will help you make sense of grief and inspire you to reimagine your life moving forward.
- GenresNonfictionPsychology
192 pages, Hardcover
Published January 2, 2018
30 people are currently reading
403 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
August 7, 2018
As a recently widowed father myself, I can wholeheartedly recommend this non-fiction book to other men in a similar position, as well as to family members who wish to understand what this unfortunate journey feels like. Written by two psychiatrists who work with cancer patients and their families in North Carolina, "The Group" describes in a very readable fashion how a group of seven widowed fathers came together and learned how to grieve and carry on after the life-altering loss of their wives.
Although written by the group facilitators, the men's voices come through clearly and genuinely in these pages of this book. We hear about their struggles and their growth, and we grow to sympathize with the difficult paths they have been forced to take. With one exception, the men lost their wives to cancer, often quite quickly, and they articulate in beautiful ways why such a loss can be devastating and disorienting.
"The Group" started out as an experiment by the doctors, but it soon became led by the men themselves and lasted much longer than the original plan of a few sessions. The book thus charts their journeys over the span of several years, including how they learned to cope as sole parents, and how they eventually came to terms with dating again.
The authors suggest that there are few resources out there for widowed fathers, and my experience confirms this. As such, this book fills a very important niche and should be shared and read widely. As good as this book is, there are still a few minor flaws. The chapters are readable but very short, and it feels like the men's stories have been abbreviated more than what an interested and sympathetic reader would like. There is also a slight tension in the book between the focus on the widowers' experiences and the research interests of the authors. It is likely that the latter subject would be of less interest to most readers. Finally, the main title "The Group" seems a little too bland, and it makes it hard to find in title searches.
However, all in all, "The Group" is a very moving and important book for all who grieve, but especially men who have lost their partners too early and who face the daunting task of grieving and parenting at the same time.
Although written by the group facilitators, the men's voices come through clearly and genuinely in these pages of this book. We hear about their struggles and their growth, and we grow to sympathize with the difficult paths they have been forced to take. With one exception, the men lost their wives to cancer, often quite quickly, and they articulate in beautiful ways why such a loss can be devastating and disorienting.
"The Group" started out as an experiment by the doctors, but it soon became led by the men themselves and lasted much longer than the original plan of a few sessions. The book thus charts their journeys over the span of several years, including how they learned to cope as sole parents, and how they eventually came to terms with dating again.
The authors suggest that there are few resources out there for widowed fathers, and my experience confirms this. As such, this book fills a very important niche and should be shared and read widely. As good as this book is, there are still a few minor flaws. The chapters are readable but very short, and it feels like the men's stories have been abbreviated more than what an interested and sympathetic reader would like. There is also a slight tension in the book between the focus on the widowers' experiences and the research interests of the authors. It is likely that the latter subject would be of less interest to most readers. Finally, the main title "The Group" seems a little too bland, and it makes it hard to find in title searches.
However, all in all, "The Group" is a very moving and important book for all who grieve, but especially men who have lost their partners too early and who face the daunting task of grieving and parenting at the same time.
March 12, 2018
I received this book in a Goodreads giveaway. I love to read murder mysteries. I wanted this book for my Little Free Library, but having received it felt obligated to read it and review it. It's a book about widowed fathers suddenly faced with raising children alone. It's written by the two clinicians who formed a support group for them. I am a single (now elderly) woman, never married, childless. This looked like something I would NOT enjoy. But it turned out I was wrong, wrong, wrong. It is not "clinical", although it is full of information all of the men involved (including the authors) learned about the unique grieving and adapting process of widowed fathers. It is the story of the men themselves, what they learned, what they taught, in going through this process. They felt so isolated, as no one really understood their problems. But I wished I had read this book years ago. I was never a widowed father - but I was a child of one. I saw so much of what my father went through in this book. I spent my career working for Social Security, and inevitably I talked to a lot of dying women and the husbands they left behind. Quite often, when their husbands were not near, the mothers would share with me their fears and regrets, and were helped by having a caring ear. The fathers never shared. In this book, they do. One of the saddest things I found came early in the book. "In the weeks following Sarah's death, Dan was inundated with help....Dan found the influx of visitors and the focus on his state of mind overwhelming. Still, the help was desperately needed. And then . . . it all stopped." This is what happens afterwards. And, while dealing distinctly with the unique problems faced by fathers suddenly on their own, it has a lot of for all of us to learn as well.
December 31, 2017
This is one excellent book that can serve as a primer for group psychotherapy courses (though the authors might quibble and call it a support group) and rivals Irvin Yalom’s writings on group dynamics. It also addresses the rather unaddressed needs of widowed fathers. Job well done.
January 20, 2021
Really excellent book- moving and practical. I had the privilege to work with Don and Justin (and Leeza Park) at UNC, and they are truly wonderful people. If I ever move back to North Carolina I will beg them for my job back!!!!
February 7, 2022
I’m not alone
It was good and heart-moving to find in a book what I couldn’t find in life around me. I found a connection with men going through what I’ve been trying to say, and people just don’t get it, but this book has men speaking my language. I was not just “single now” and it is not like a divorce at all. It is not natural to lose my wife when I’m still middle aged with two children. My children aren’t just going through things and will be okay one day. People just don’t get it. It’s not about faith or having enough strength to persevere. It’s not easy and it’s not “gonna be okay”. I don’t want platitudes and just someone to kindly listen, and yet I could also never want to wish this experience on anyone. But here in this book are men whose stories and circumstances are like mine, and they get it. They know what it feels like, how difficult and painful it is. They can share my pain and I can share theirs. This book also provides insights and pathways to potential new futures, and maybe a general timeline for the pain of the grief. The idea of moving on, and how impossible it seems at first, but to know there’s a very likely possibility that there’s new life to be had. I’m so glad for the work this group has done and it gives me hope.
Thank you
It was good and heart-moving to find in a book what I couldn’t find in life around me. I found a connection with men going through what I’ve been trying to say, and people just don’t get it, but this book has men speaking my language. I was not just “single now” and it is not like a divorce at all. It is not natural to lose my wife when I’m still middle aged with two children. My children aren’t just going through things and will be okay one day. People just don’t get it. It’s not about faith or having enough strength to persevere. It’s not easy and it’s not “gonna be okay”. I don’t want platitudes and just someone to kindly listen, and yet I could also never want to wish this experience on anyone. But here in this book are men whose stories and circumstances are like mine, and they get it. They know what it feels like, how difficult and painful it is. They can share my pain and I can share theirs. This book also provides insights and pathways to potential new futures, and maybe a general timeline for the pain of the grief. The idea of moving on, and how impossible it seems at first, but to know there’s a very likely possibility that there’s new life to be had. I’m so glad for the work this group has done and it gives me hope.
Thank you
January 20, 2020
This was an amazing read given the topic that it covers - widowed fathers dealing with the death of their spouse and its effect on them and their families. This is my life currently so it really resonated with me. The book comes out of a support group for widowed fathers started at University of North Carolina led by the authors who believed that there was an unmet need with this population and sought to fill it. The book offers a glimpse into the monthly group meetings and shares some of the struggles, topics, and discussions that occurred. The book came into my life approximately two months after the passing of my wife, while we do not have similar aged children as the group participants, many of the same thoughts and topics resonated with me as mine are young adults. Tremendous and timely read for me, if I had had the time I would have read it in a day, as it was I finished it in three.
May 9, 2018
This is a wonderful detailed account of the life of a support group that has never existed before. Single Fathers Due to Cancer is a much needed support group and resource for men learning to survive after their wives have passed. As a reader you learn about the formation of the group, important subject matters to the participants, and how the leaders and participants take their work beyond the conference table to reach more single fathers. I wasn’t sure what to expect. We learn enough about each father to feel connected to them and root for them, but not so much that I felt like I was taking on their grief too. This is almost, but not quite, a loose manual for other professionals to create support groups of their own. Of course, they can contact UNC or the website for more information.
A great read!
A great read!
May 28, 2020
If you are a counselor, this is a great book for your library. This is the story of a group of widowed men who meet in a support group - the first of this kind - to grieve, learn to maneuver raising children without their spouses, and work out the issues together. I truly loved reading about the men's lives and their progress but the book then goes into what the group morphed into, how it helped research overall, and what happened when they made a website to help others and became a national headline. The stories themselves then get a bit buried when that begins to be explained. Had it been more about what transpired in the group, I think it would have been more interesting. Overall, a good resource to have if you are interested in grief work, group work, and counseling overall. To my shelf it stays as an added reference.
June 12, 2021
As a childless 25 year old woman this isn’t a book that I would normally pick up to read. Reading this book was required for my Death, Dying & Loss course that I’m taking this summer.
I’m really glad that I had to pick this book up. It’s such an important topic and one that many people have a hard time discussing.
Not only does this give you education about how widowed fathers are dealing with grief and learning new roles as the sole parent, but this is a great piece of literature that I’m sure helps many fathers in this situation. I’m glad more research is being put on this topic, and I hope anyone dealing with a loss is able to find some help or piece of mind from reading this.
I’m really glad that I had to pick this book up. It’s such an important topic and one that many people have a hard time discussing.
Not only does this give you education about how widowed fathers are dealing with grief and learning new roles as the sole parent, but this is a great piece of literature that I’m sure helps many fathers in this situation. I’m glad more research is being put on this topic, and I hope anyone dealing with a loss is able to find some help or piece of mind from reading this.
June 14, 2022
I landed on this book as part of a research I was doing. Finding stories of widowed men because like the book mentioned, there isn't much support or resources available for when it comes to Men's mental health and support with bereavement.
The stories of the seven men has impacted me greatly. I was so happy for them by the end of the book. Really glad about what coming together of 7 men has done overall and the way it has payed way for other men like them to come forward and not feel alone.
Brilliantly curated!
The stories of the seven men has impacted me greatly. I was so happy for them by the end of the book. Really glad about what coming together of 7 men has done overall and the way it has payed way for other men like them to come forward and not feel alone.
Brilliantly curated!
December 14, 2018
I am unsure if I would recommend this book to grieving fathers because it seems to have been written to professionals about grieving fathers. I am sure though, that a non-therapist could glean something about their grief by perusing the book. The authors highlight that there is so little support for the grieving father so I am disappointed that the book didn’t have more for the one grieving. I think one grieving might not have the patience to hang in there for the book’s entirety.
April 12, 2021
A quick read and a fantastic insight into an all male support group for widowed fathers. The authors share vignettes of the various group participants (with their permission), exploring the features unique to this group. They integrate clinical models in an understandable way. It’s not a workbook, but just a collection of stories as captured by these facilitators. It can be read all the way through or piece meal as needed. Recommend for grieving men, fathers and group facilitators.
Read
January 27, 2021As a woman dating a man who is a widowed father, I found this book extremely helpful. It was insightful without preaching time frames for the grief borne by those who have lost their most significant relationship. I would highly recommend this book to both those who have lost a spouse, and those who are entering into a relationship with someone who has lost his spouse.
June 11, 2021
Enjoyed reading this book and hearing the stories of the various men in the book. I am a hospice worker and hearing the stories is the most blessed and sacred parts of my job. This book was a lamentation and a celebration of life and death and life impacted by tragic death. A must read for hospice and healthcare workers.
February 17, 2024
From what seemed to be a myopic cross sectional study- widowed fathers in North Carolina whose spouses died of cancer- comes a heart wrenching and non-clinical study of the universal human desire for connectedness and a values driven life.
A brilliant and succinct exploration of support group dynamics, the ebbing and flowing of grief, and the quest for a “good enough” life - 5/5.
A brilliant and succinct exploration of support group dynamics, the ebbing and flowing of grief, and the quest for a “good enough” life - 5/5.
February 26, 2018
This is a great book detailing a group of widowed fathers as they face the realities of life without their partners. The group, led by trained professionals, helps each other deal with their families through their despair. Hope and healing can take place.
March 30, 2018
Not many books make me think, cry, and feel good. This one did. You don't need to be widowed or a parent to get something (a lot) out of this book. I read it in two nights, and its one of those books that you want to read a second time.
Highly, highly recommend!
Highly, highly recommend!
June 24, 2018
Powerful book about a support group of single fathers due to loss of spouses to cancer. It details the personal growth of the men while educating on the process and history of grief process. I love that it takes place in one of my favorite places too... Chapel Hill, NC
January 20, 2019
I received this book for free from Goodreads.
I am glad that this book exists, though I am not sure this would be all that helpful for someone grieving. If anything, this book might open someone up to the idea of sharing their feelings with others who might otherwise not do so.
I am glad that this book exists, though I am not sure this would be all that helpful for someone grieving. If anything, this book might open someone up to the idea of sharing their feelings with others who might otherwise not do so.
July 10, 2019
I won a copy of this book during a Goodreads giveaway. I am under no obligation to leave a review or rating and do so voluntarily. So that others may also enjoy this book, I am paying it forward by donating it to my local library.
April 17, 2023
** READ FOR CLASS ** This was a really impactful, informative, short, book about grief and coping in a group setting. It was easy to understand and the concepts were well connected to the participants’ experiences.
September 25, 2018
Excellent combination of narrative and research on how the death of a parent/spouse affects surviving spouse and children.
January 10, 2019
Being widowed myself I found it so interesting to hear the perspective of fathers for the issues I faced.
January 17, 2022
I highly recommend this book to any widowed fathers, and their friends and family.
April 13, 2023
A quick read for anyone passionate about therapy, men learning to talk about their emotions, and grief.
September 22, 2020
Succinct, straight forward account of a support group for widowed fathers. Moving at times and compassionately assembled.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews