Death: What Not To Say: How To Confidently Approach a Grieving Person ... and all the things not to do and say

by Colin Bird

"No one is immune to death. And no one who reads this will be immune to the charm - and power - of Colin Bird’s wise and wildly original “how-to” for those who find themselves face-to-face with the great inevitable, WHAT NOT TO SAY. Think Paulo Coelho, if Coelho ever had to sleep in his car, or make his living as a Nursing Home Chaplain. Colin Bird’s brand of street-level pragmatism on matters of compassion and mortality is as massively refreshing as it is on-the-ground useful for anyone trying to be there for suffering friends and loved ones. They should pass this book out in hospitals and funeral homes, or stick in hotel nightstands instead of bibles. It’s a lot more useful - and a much better read. WHAT NOT TO SAY is a fearless, heartfelt, and utterly invaluable handbook for anyone who isn’t dead, but knows a few people who are - or are about to be." -Jerry Stahl, Screenwriter and LA Times bestselling I, Fatty; Permanent Midnight “Colin Bird serves up his own brand of commentary in What Not To Say. Supremely witty yet cuttingly honest, a richly worded yarn from a man that's seen the losing side of life and ran from it. Couldn’t put it down.” -Dean Karnazes, Ultramarathoner and New York Times bestselling author "As a licensed therapist for 16 years I’ve seen a lot of grieving souls. Grief is no respecter of persons. It touches everyone. And it’s relentless. People die and we can’t stop it. People grieve and we can’t stop it. But stopping it isn’t really the goal, loving through it is. That’s the message of Colin Bird’s book, “ What Not to Say”. There are a myriad of books on grief written by professionals. We know what to say and what not to say. We know what to expect, how to listen well, and why honoring someone’s grief is so delicate and crucial. We’ve had lots of practice. But approaching a Griever well is just not easily taught. We professionals were beginners once. True proficiency has come from trial and error. And honestly, grief filling up my living room is different from grief sitting in my office… so very different. Not because of the grief, but the relationship between me and the Griever. That’s one of the reasons I love this book. Written in the style of an artist, “ What Not to Say” is a conversation with a man who has experienced pain, excruciating, life-altering, soul-searching pain. Not just his, but others’. He’s walked his own grief journey and accompanied others on theirs. Filled with stories that raise your ire, melt your heart, and convict you to the core, Colin’s words are raw, real and refreshing. Hopefully, readers will never look at a Grieving person the same. And if they follow these basic steps, they will truly approach with confidence." -Carrie P Bussmann, LCPC Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor; Owner/Director Truth in Love Counseling, Normal IL “A wake up call intent on forcing the "helpers" to grow up. This work is something long overdue. PAY ATTENTION to the wisdom found in this bright young genius. Take notes. Trust me on this... THERE WILL BE A TEST.” -Geoff Thurman, DOVE Award-winning Singer/Songwriter, Pastor, Counselor “What you get is an unexpected, rich and fun (yes, you read that right) celebration of life. It seems that Colin Bird was bathed into the kind of holy water that makes people natural healers. The kind who knows that deepest truth, but doesn’t preach it, he shares it.” -Simone Bartesaghi, Professor UCLA, Director, Writer, Author of The Director’s Six Senses

172 pages, Paperback

Published March 28, 2017

Reviews

[Shelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Colin shares his hard-won wisdom on what not to say to a grieving person. He also shares great advice on how to be there and speak to your grieving friend or relative and even to a complete stranger. Abounding in frankness and also humor, Colin leaves you compelled to get over yourself and head on in and show up, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem. He gives you confidence to say the right thing or at least, not the wrong thing.